Author: Margaretha Montagu

Because sometimes, hot cocoa, reading under a weighted blanket and candle-lit bubble baths just don’t cut it.

Winter. I keep telling myself how spectacularly beautiful winter is this year, and how much I have to be grateful for, despite stepping knee-deep into a vile superglue-sticky mud soup each time I put the horses back into their paddock.

Sigh. Winter is not going well this year.

Ironically, and annoyingly contradictorily, during my hibernation this year, I’m working on my iNFINITE iMPACT Mentoring Program, which is all about living purposeful, meaningful and impactful lives.

So I decided I had better write a blog post to cheer us all up. Winter might be cold, but it doesn’t have to be dull. Try a few of these suggestions, and hopefully, your February will end up being less bleak-and-blue.

21 Unconventional Suggestions to help you cope with the Winter Blues:

1. Create an indoor tropical paradise by transforming your bathroom into a spa-like environment. Run a hot shower to create steam, add tropical plants like orchids that thrive in humidity, play rainforest sounds, and use citrus-scented products. Spend 20 minutes each morning in your “personal tropics” to trick your mind into feeling like you’re somewhere warm and sunny.
2. Start a “reverse hibernation” routine where you embrace being awake during the darkest hours. Wake up two hours before sunrise to accomplish creative tasks when the world is quiet and still. This reframes darkness as a special, productive time rather than something to dread. I’ll be awake anyway, so I might as well try it.
3. Develop a relationship with a specific winter tree near your home. Visit it daily, photograph its changes, write about it, or sketch it. Learning to see beauty in its bare branches and watching for subtle changes helps shift perspective on winter from bleakness to rejuvenation.
4. Create “light paintings” using long-exposure photography and LED lights in the dark winter evenings. This turns early sunsets into an opportunity for creative expression and produces stunning visual art that celebrates rather than resents the darkness.
5. Start an indoor micro-greens garden specifically arranged to spell out positive words or create simple pictures. The act of growing something visually meaningful combines the mood-boosting effects of gardening with daily positive affirmations you can literally watch grow.
6. Practice “weather empathy” by imagining yourself as different winter elements – become a snowflake, a frozen lake, or a bare tree. Spend 10 minutes daily moving, breathing, and experiencing the world as these elements. This mindfulness practice helps develop a deeper connection to winter’s essence.
7. Create a “summer memory time capsule” with sand, seashells, and beach photos, but only allow yourself to open and experience it during specific challenging winter moments. This controlled access makes the summer connection more potent and special.
8. Develop a winter-specific art practice using only materials found outside during winter – ice sculptures, frost drawings on windows, or arrangements of bare twigs. This transforms winter’s stark elements into sources of beauty and creativity.
9. Start a “darkness diary” where you specifically document positive experiences -winter miracles-that could only happen in winter darkness – stargazing, seeing holiday lights, observing nocturnal animals. This reframes darkness as a unique opportunity rather than a SEVERE limitation.
10. Create a “reverse seasonal wardrobe” by wearing your brightest summer clothes inside, layered. The secret pop of summer colours can provide a psychological boost, and the contrast becomes a personal, hidden celebration of seasonal dynamics.
11. Develop a “snow sound” or “winter sound” library” by recording different types of snow – crunching footsteps, falling flakes, melting drops. Use these recordings to create unique winter meditation soundscapes that celebrate winter’s acoustic qualities.
12. Practice “frost farming” by setting up different surfaces outside overnight to collect frost patterns, then document the unique crystalline formations each morning. This turns winter’s cold into an artistic collaboration with nature.
13. Create a “warmth map” of your city or neighbourhood, finding and documenting all the places that offer unique types of warmth – the heat from a bakery’s vents, sunny window seats in cafes, or heated bus stop benches. This turns winter navigation into an urban adventure.
14. Start a “winter flavour laboratory” where you specifically develop and test recipes that can only be made in cold temperatures – thick, creamy winter soup made from winter vegetables. This makes cold temperatures feel like a culinary asset.
15. Develop a “shadow appreciation habit” during the low winter sun. Use the long shadows to create stories, measure time, or make art. This transforms the winter light conditions from a limitation into a unique creative tool.
16. Create a “negative space garden” using dark fabrics and white or light-coloured plants like white orchids, peace lilies, and silver-leaved plants. This inverted colour scheme helps embrace winter’s stark contrasts while creating a living art installation that thrives in indoor light conditions.
17. Develop a “cold-air aromatherapy” practice by preparing specific scent combinations that are only released outdoors in cold temperatures. Fill small muslin bags with winter-specific scents like pine, mint, and cedar, which become more potent when exposed to cold air, creating signature winter-only sensory experiences.
18. Institute a “winter movement cartography” practice where you map your daily movements differently based on temperature, creating abstract art pieces that document your relationship with winter weather. Use different colors for various temperature ranges and line weights for wind conditions, transforming weather data into personal art.
19. Establish a “frost window gallery” by deliberately creating conditions for frost patterns on specific windows, then using these as evolving backdrops for photography or meditation. Control the patterns by varying humidity and temperature near different sections of the window, creating intentional natural ice art.
20. Practice “winter acoustics architecture” by finding and documenting how winter conditions change the sound landscape of your environment. Snow dampens some sounds while making others more prominent, and frozen lakes and trees create unique acoustic spaces. Create recordings or compositions that can only be replicated during winter conditions.

These approaches work by actively engaging with winter’s unique characteristics rather than just trying to endure them. They help transform the winter blues from something to survive into something to mindfully explore and appreciate in its own right.

Disclaimer: These affirmations are not a substitute for professional help or treatment. If you’re struggling with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or any other mental health issue, please seek support from a licensed therapist.

Apart from working on my mentoring program, I’m also updating my 5- and 7-day Camino de Santiago walking retreats here in the southwest of France. It’s a great way to escape to a warmer future. This should be unconventional suggestion no 21 really: Plan a Camino de Santiago walking retreat in the Spring.

21. Transform winter blues into purposeful preparation for a soul-stirring Camino de Santiago walking retreat through southwest France. The full 6-week pilgrimage starts in Le Puy Route (Via Podiensis), one of the most scenic and historically meaningful paths through France to Santiago de Compostela.

• Begin by creating a detailed walking training schedule that mirrors the Camino’s terrain. Start with local hills and gradually increase distance, wearing your actual pilgrimage gear.
• Study medieval French pilgrimage history during dark evenings. Learn about the route’s sacred sites like the cathedral in Auch, the abbey of Flaran, and the Roman town of Eauze, dating from the year 400. Create a personal guidebook highlighting places that resonate with you.
• Practice relevant French phrases daily, focusing on pilgrim-specific vocabulary. Learn traditional pilgrim greetings and the vocabulary you’ll need while you walk.
• Prepare your “pilgrim’s kit” throughout winter – breaking in boots, testing different socks, finding the perfect backpack. Each item selection becomes a mindful decision rather than just last-minute shopping.
• Start cooking meals based on French regional cuisine (Gascon) you’ll encounter – croustade, magret, confit de canard. This connects you to your future walk by taste while developing practical knowledge of local food traditions.
• Create a wall map marking the major stops -Eauze, Nogaro, Aire-sur-Adour – and track your training progress in relation to actual Camino stages. Research the region’s weather to understand how your current conditions compare to what you might face on the trail.
• Join online Camino communities and connect with other winter-training pilgrims, sharing preparation strategies and building anticipation together. Consider keeping a “pre-pilgrimage journal” documenting your physical and spiritual preparation journey.

• From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground During a Life Quake Retreat
• Walking and Writing Retreat: Find Insight and Inspiration with Every Step
• Tick-off-Your-Bucket-List Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat
• Book Lover’s Binge Reading Retreat and Christmas Binge Reading Retreat

The key aspect is viewing winter not as a barrier but as essential preparation time for this epic experience. Every cold-weather walk becomes a walking meditation, every dark evening an opportunity to plan and prepare. This transforms winter from a season to endure into a crucial period of preparation for a life-changing pilgrimage.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Get rid of the nagging emptiness of “Is this all there is?” and step into a life where your accomplishments feel as purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling as they are impressive. This unique mentoring program empowers you to unearth the mission that sets your soul on fire and aligns your life with what truly matters to you—beyond success metrics and societal expectations.

Introverts vs Extroverts: Many introverts spend decades pretending to be extroverts to fit in but according to Laurie Helgoe, “Introverts are more effective leaders of proactive employees. When you have a creative, energetic workforce, an introvert is going to draw out that energy better.”

Introduction: The Private Struggle of Successful Professional Introverts

At some point in your career, you probably mastered the art of nodding strategically at networking events, perfected your power handshake, and even learned how to deliver a seemingly enthusiastic “Let’s grab coffee next week!” with zero actual intention of doing so—all while secretly fantasising about getting home asap to read that fascinating book in peace and quiet, surrounded by your pampered but well-adjusted collection of houseplants.

For decades, success has been synonymous with being seen. You had to speak up in meetings (even when it was pointless), say yes to social gatherings (even when they were soul-destroyingly boring), and maintain an “open-door policy” (even when you wanted to barricade it with a bookshelf). If you’ve ever felt like you were an extra performing in the grand production of Extrovert: The Musical, you’re not alone. Many highly successful professionals have spent years playing this role—only to wake up one day and realize… they’ve had it.

But what if midlife wasn’t just about career pivots and biohacking your way to eternal youth? What if it was the perfect time to do something truly radical? To finally step off the stage, embrace your quiet nature, and own the fact that you were never meant to be the loudest person in the room—just the most impactful one?

That’s right. Coming out as an introvert after 50 isn’t just a lifestyle choice. It’s an act of rebellion. And, as you’re about to see, it might just be the key to the freedom you’ve been yearning for.

The Great Extrovert Illusion: Why We Pretend to Be Something We’re Not

At some point, society collectively decided that success belongs to the loudest person in the room. The one who works the crowd, commands attention, and can deliver a TED Talk with exactly zero preparation. Meanwhile, introverts spent years perfecting the art of looking engaged in meetings while silently willing their colleagues to wrap it up asap.

“Speak up and stand out!”, “Network your way to the top!”, “Your net worth is your network!”

Society decided that being an extrovert meant being a leader, and being a leader meant being loud. The message was clear: if you wanted to succeed, you had to speak up. Loudly.

The corporate world, self-help books, and those terrifying “icebreaker” exercises have all reinforced the idea that being extroverted is the golden ticket to success. Even leadership training often boils down to “speak more, network harder, be visible”—as if professional excellence is a volume contest.

And so, like well-trained performers, introverts learned to play the game. We networked (strategically and in moderation), small-talked (efficiently and with an exit strategy), and showed up (while secretly counting the minutes until we could leave without offending anyone).

We sat through leadership seminars that insisted we had to “command the room”—when, in reality, we were far more effective at influencing it quietly from behind the scenes. We forced ourselves into networking events under the belief that “opportunity is just one conversation away”, only to discover that most of those conversations were about golf, weather, and someone’s new vacation home in Aspen.

But somewhere along the way, a quiet realisation set in: This is not me.

The thing about illusions is that they only work if everyone keeps believing in them.

We’ve been sold a false narrative. Success isn’t always about out-talking, out-networking, or out-socialising the competition—it can also be about leveraging the quiet strengths introverts possess in such abundance.

Because while the extroverts were busy working the room, the introverts were quietly owning it.

Why Introverts Over 50 Are Perfectly Positioned to Rebel

Something fascinating happens when you hit midlife. You stop bothering. Not in a reckless way (you still pay your taxes and floss occasionally), but in a liberating way. Not in a “let’s abandon all responsibilities and move to a yurt” kind of way, but in a “why am I still doing things I don’t actually enjoy?” kind of way. The pressure to prove yourself fades, and the desire to live on your own terms takes over.

For introverts, this is nothing short of revolutionary. You’ve already built a successful career, cultivated meaningful relationships, and accumulated more wisdom than you’ll ever need.

Now, you get to rewrite the rules.

For decades, you followed the script. You played the networking game, endured open-plan offices (why are they still a thing?), and smiled through team-building exercises designed by people who apparently thought trust falls were the pinnacle of professional bonding.

And now? You’ve earned the right to question all of it.

Because here’s the thing: when you reach 50, you realise that time is your most valuable asset. You stop chasing validation from external sources (do I really care about that ‘Top 50 Most Engaging Business Leaders’ award?), and you start prioritising what actually energises you.

It’s the moment you stop pretending that you enjoy spontaneous brainstorming sessions. That you thrive in high-energy networking events. That you love being part of a “collaborative, fast-paced team” when you prefer deep, focused work in blissful silence.

Fifty is when you realize that being introverted was never the problem. The problem was trying to succeed in a system designed to reward extroverted behaviours while undervaluing the real skills that drive impact—deep thinking, meaningful connection, and strategic decision-making.

The world is finally catching up.

Gone are the days when success belonged only to the loudest voice in the room. The modern business landscape now values what introverts bring to the table. Focused expertise, thoughtful leadership, and a preference for meaningful over superficial interactions? These aren’t just nice to have—they’re now essential.

So, why keep pretending?

Why keep playing by outdated rules when now is the perfect moment to rewrite them?

Instead of forcing yourself into draining social scenarios, you start designing your career (and your life) around your strengths. Instead of chasing influence the extrovert way (constant visibility), you start embracing influence the introvert way (intentional impact).

The modern world is practically begging for introverts to step into their full power. Meaningful leadership is in. Remote work? Absolutely in. The traditional model of success—one that required constant self-promotion and aggressive networking—is crumbling. And introverts? We’re thriving.

The Radical Advantages of an Unapologetic Introvert

Let’s break down why owning your quiet nature is your ultimate power source:

1. Introvert vs Extrovert Expertise

While extroverts are busy bouncing from one Zoom call to another, introverts are quietly getting things done. Focus, reflection, and mastery are our natural superpowers. And in a world increasingly driven by real expertise (not just visibility), this is a serious advantage.

2. Selective Influence

Contrary to popular belief, the most powerful people aren’t the ones constantly talking. They’re the ones people lean in to listen to. Introverts build lasting influence—not by being everywhere, but by showing up intentionally and delivering real value.

3. Authentic Leadership

Look at some of the most respected leaders in the world—Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Barack Obama. None of them are social butterflies. They lead through intelligence, strategy, and presence, not performance. Turns out, you don’t need to be the loudest voice to make the biggest impact.

4. Calm in the Chaos

In a noisy, overstimulated world, people crave depth. They’re drawn to those who offer clarity, wisdom, and substance. As an introvert, you have the power to be the calm in the chaos, the voice of reason in a sea of noise.

How to ‘Come Out’ as an Introvert

Now, let’s talk introvert vs extrovert strategy. If you’re ready to fully embrace your introverted nature, here’s how to do it:

Step 1: Own Your Energy

Stop feeling guilty for needing alone time. It’s not avoidance—it’s a timely, strategic recharge. Schedule solitude like you would any high-priority meeting. Your best ideas, insights, and decisions come from moments of silent contemplation, not constant interaction.

Step 2: Redefine Networking (Without the Awkward Small Talk)

Forget mingling in overcrowded rooms where the only escape is the bathroom. Instead, build connections your way. One-on-one conversations. Curated groups. High-value discussions. introvert-directed networking isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality.

Step 3: Design Your Life Using Your Strengths

Success should fit you, not the other way around. That means:
✅ Cutting unnecessary meetings
✅ Creating a work environment that fuels focus
✅ Leveraging writing, thought leadership, or small-group engagements instead of large-scale presentations
✅ Saying no more often (without an elaborate excuse—“No.” is a full sentence)

What Do We Do About the Extroverts?

Now, before the extroverts start sharpening their pitchforks, let’s be clear: this isn’t an introvert vs extrovert battle. No one is suggesting we banish all extroverts to an eternal networking event (though let’s be honest, some of them would love that).

The truth is that the modern world needs both.

For too long, we’ve been operating under a system where extroverted qualities were prioritised—quick thinking, constant activity, endless collaboration—while introverted strengths were, at best, overlooked, at worst, suppressed. Balance is what we need. Just as introverts benefit from the occasional nudge out of their comfort zone (yes, sometimes that coffee meeting IS worth it), extroverts thrive when they embrace a little introspection (you don’t actually need to schedule back-to-back meetings to feel productive).

The best teams, businesses, and relationships aren’t built on a single mode of operating—they thrive on a diversity of thought processes and approaches to activity. Extroverts bring momentum, enthusiasm, and the ability to spark immediate connections. Introverts bring reflection, strategy, and the ability to sustain those connections long after the initial excitement fades. One fuels the fire, the other keeps it burning.

So, this isn’t about declaring an introvert revolution where we seize control and ban small talk (tempting, I know). It’s about shifting toward a more balanced approach—one where thoughtful leadership is recognised as just as powerful as charismatic leadership. Where intense focus is as valued as quick decision-making. And where success isn’t about who speaks the loudest, but about who brings the most meaningful AND practical contributions to the table.

Because in the end, it’s not about being more extroverted or more introverted. It’s about being more authentic. And the big 5-0 is the perfect time to embrace that.

The Silent Revolution: Succeeding on Your Own Terms

At the end of the day, coming out as an introvert isn’t about rejecting success—it’s about redefining it.

It’s about realising that you don’t have to outtalk anyone. You don’t have to push yourself into draining social situations. And you certainly don’t have to play by outdated rules that aren’t of any use to you.

Now is the time to own your natural strengths and use them to create impact your way.

This isn’t just a personal shift—it’s part of a larger movement. More and more, businesses are recognising the power of introverted leadership. Reflection and thoughtfulness are finally being valued alongside visibility and charisma.

And the best part? You don’t have to announce your rebellion. No grand declarations, no dramatic exits from the corporate world (unless you want to). The power of being an introvert is that the change happens subtly, deliberately—until one day, you wake up and realise you’re living life entirely on your own terms.

Sometimes, the most revolutionary thing you can do… is simply be yourself.

Start Your Revolution in the South of France

So here’s the question: if getting to your fifties motivates you to finally stop pretending and start living as your true self, where will your next steps take you?

For introverts, transformation doesn’t happen in crowded rooms or noisy debates—it happens in quiet moments of reflection, in the space between thoughts, in the rhythmic motion of putting one foot in front of the other. And there’s no better place to experience that than on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela.

A 7-day From Troubled to Triumphant Camino walking retreat isn’t just a journey through breathtaking landscapes—it’s a journey back to yourself. It’s a chance to trade small talk for meaningful solitude, social obligations for deep personal insight, and the constant need to “perform” for the simple act of living up to other people’s expectations.

If you’re ready to stop fitting in and start walking your own path—both literally and figuratively—then maybe it’s time to take that first step.

“I am an experienced medical doctor – MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach (dip.) Life Story Coach (cert.) Counselling (cert.) Med Hypnotherapy (dip.) and EAGALA (cert.) I may have an impressive number of letters after my name, and more than three decades of professional experience, but what qualifies me to excel at what I do is my intuitive understanding of my clients’ difficulties and my extensive personal experience of managing major life changes using strategies I developed over many years” Dr M Montagu

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Background

I originally got the idea for this introvert vs extrovert post after I read Candace Atamanik’s article “The Introverted Leader: Examining the Role of Personality and Environment” (2013). Her study has shown that introverted leaders can be as effective as extroverted leaders and that there were no statistically significant differences in direct report ratings of leader effectiveness between introverts and extroverts in both academic and corporate environments. This indicates that introversion is not an obstacle to leadership performance in either competitive or nurturing environments.

Research on introverted leadership has expanded significantly in recent years, challenging traditional notions of effective leadership. Studies have explored various aspects of introverted leadership, including its effectiveness, challenges, and potential advantages.

Research has revealed that introverted leaders face discrimination in the workplace. Employers often fail to recognise the potential of introverted leaders, creating unfair leadership roadblocks. This bias stems from the “extrovert ideal” in leadership, which can impact how introverts think about themselves as leaders.

Introverted leaders often exhibit participatory or transformational leadership styles. They are known for being considerate managers who develop their followers’ skills, celebrate accomplishments, and help achieve ambitions.

Recent research has begun to explore the concept of an “introverted leadership advantage” in the workplace of tomorrow. A 2023 study investigated the relationship between extraversion, its facets, and leadership effectiveness, finding unexpected results that challenge traditional assumptions about extraversion in leadership. (Liegl, S., & Furtner, M. R. (2023). Introverted and yet effective? A faceted approach to the relationship between leadership and extraversion. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1185271.)

As organisations recognise the value of diverse leadership styles, the future looks promising for introverted leaders who embrace their authentic strengths. Ongoing research continues to shed light on the unique contributions and potential of introverted leaders in various organisational contexts.

Citations:

• Atamanik, C. (2013). The introverted leader: Examining the role of personality and environment. Center for Leadership Current Research, 2.
• Blevins, D. P., Stackhouse, M. R. D., & Dionne, S. D. (2022). Righting the balance: Understanding introverts (and extraverts) in the workplace. International Journal of Management Reviews, 24, 78-98.
• Cain, S. (2013). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. Crown Publishing
• Farrell, M. (2017). Leadership reflections: Extrovert and introvert leaders. Journal of Library Administration, 57, 436-443.
• Smith, D. F. (2018). Mining the gold that is your introvert employee. Journal of Financial Planning, Best of 2018, 38-39.
• Stephens-Craig, D., Kuofie, M., & Dool, R. (2015). Perception of introverted leaders by mid to high-level leaders. Journal of Marketing and Management, 6(1), 62-75.