The Grand Adventure of Becoming You 2.0

Alright, readers, buckle up! We’re about to embark on a wild ride called Identity Shift: From Zero to Hero.

I have written a number of very SERIOUS articles recently, in an attempt to be helpful (one is nearly 3000 words long!) but as you know, “serious” is not my style, so today I’m reverting back to my usual French-humour-invested approach with this article.

One of the most annoying things about life transitions is that they often force us to take a really good look at who we are – we might even have to change who we are to cope with the challenge. Sometimes we reach a point in our lives where we no longer recognise the person we have become, and we feel the need to dig up our authentic selves and make changes to become who we have been before we embarked on our current path.

So here’s today’s foolproof, slightly tongue-in-cheek, but totally practical guide to becoming the person you want (need) to be now.

Self-Reflection: The Mirror, Mirror on the Wall that Doesn’t Lie (Unfortunately)

Identify Your Current Identity:

Journaling: Grab a notebook and a pen (or a fancy digital app if you’re feeling tech-savvy). Write down every quirk, belief, and behaviour that makes you, well, you. Strengths? Weaknesses? Personality traits? Do you have a knack for making people laugh or a talent for finding the best deals? Spill it all. Think of it as a self-written Wikipedia page, minus the edit wars.

Feedback: Now this is where it gets interesting. Ask your friends, family, or that colleague who always steals your lunch for their honest opinion. Brace yourself; they might reveal that you hum while you eat or that your laugh sounds like a dying hyena. Probably better to find that out sooner rather than later.

Decide What You Want to Change

Pinpoint Areas: Identify those habits, mindsets, or behaviours that need a serious makeover. Maybe it’s your tendency to procrastinate or your inability to resist a good Netflix binge.

Understand Why: Reflect on why you want to make these changes. Is it for personal growth, to impress your crush, or to finally beat your neighbour in the annual neighbourhood pie-eating contest? Knowing your “why” will keep you motivated when the going gets tough.

Define Your New Identity: If You Can Dream It, You Can Become It

Set Clear Goals:

Okay, so I don’t do “SMART” goals. Not any more anyway. For example, SMART goals are about instead of saying “I want to be more confident,” saying “I want to be able to give a presentation to a group of 20 people without feeling anxious within the next six months.” Even if I imagine them all in their underwear, it still scares the living daylights out of me. Just make sure your goals are clearly defined, aligned with your values and don’t terrify you into immobility. Small steps, people.

Visualise Your Future Self:

Mental Imagery: Spend a few minutes each day visualising yourself as the person you want to be. Imagine the details—what you look like, how you feel, and how you interact with others. (Hint: If your future self is wearing a cape, you might be aiming a bit too high.)

Vision Board: Create a visual representation of your future self using images, quotes, and symbols that resonate with your goals. Think of it as a Pinterest board for your life, minus the DIY crafts that never turn out right.

Come Up with the Goods: The Blueprint to Your Best Self

Break Down Goals into Smaller, Actionable Steps: For example, if your goal is to become more confident, your steps might include practising public speaking and challenging negative self-talk. Think of it as building a staircase to success, one step at a time.

Set Milestones: Establish regular checkpoints to assess your progress. This could be weekly, monthly, or quarterly reviews. Think of it as a personal performance review, minus the awkward small talk.

Make Adjustments: Be prepared to adjust your plan based on your progress and any obstacles you encounter. Life is unpredictable; sometimes you just have to roll with the punches (or the unexpected pizza cravings).

Change Your Habits: New You, New Routine

Identify Supportive Habits: Determine the habits that will support your new identity. For example, if you want to be more productive, habits like setting a daily intention, prioritising tasks, and taking regular breaks can help.

Implement New Routines: Start incorporating new supportive habits into your daily life. Consistency is key to making lasting changes. Think of it as training for a marathon, minus the actual running.

Habit Tracking: Use a habit tracker to monitor your progress and stay accountable. There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned gold star to make you feel like a champion.

Seek Support: You Don’t Have to Go It Alone

Find a Mentor or a Coach: Someone who has achieved what you aspire to can provide valuable guidance, insights, and encouragement. A mentor can hold you accountable and help you stay on track. It’s like having a personal trainer for your life goals.

Join a Community of Like-Minded People: Surround yourself with people who embody the qualities you want to develop. This could be through joining clubs, groups, or online communities. Think of it as finding your tribe, minus the tribal dances (unless that’s your thing).

Build a Support Network of friends, family, or colleagues who can offer encouragement and motivation. It’s like having your own personal cheerleading squad.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be Your Own Best Friend and Greatest Supporter

Be Patient: Identity shifts take time. Be kind to yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Think of it as a slow cooker recipe for personal growth.

Nurture Yourself: Engage in self-care activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or creative pursuits.

Learn from Setbacks: Understand that setbacks are a natural part of the process and use them as learning opportunities.

Reframe Failure: View failures as stepping stones to success rather than as evidence of inadequacy. Think of it as turning lemons into lemon meringue pie.

Reinforce Your New Identity: You Are Who and What You Believe You Are

Positive Affirmative Statements: Use affirmations to reinforce your new beliefs and values. For example, “I am confident and capable” or “I am worthy of love and success.” Repeat your affirmations daily to reinforce your new identity. Think of it as brainwashing yourself, but in a productive way.

Journaling: Write about your progress and the changes you are experiencing. Reflect on what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown. Think of it as your own personal diary, minus the teenage angst.

Ferocious, Brazen Gratitude: Practice gratitude by writing down things you are thankful for. This can help shift your mindset to a more positive and appreciative one.

Routine: Incorporate your new identity into your daily routine. For example, if you want to be more mindful, include a daily meditation practice. Think of it as adding a new ingredient to your daily recipe for success.

Regular Check-ins: Regularly review your progress and make adjustments as needed. Be flexible and open to changing your approach if something isn’t working. Think of it as course-correcting your life journey. Seek feedback from others and use it to refine your actions and goals. Think of it as crowd-sourcing your personal growth.

Acknowledge Achievements: Recognise and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This can boost your motivation and reinforce your new identity.

Case Study: Ethel Enigma

Once upon a time in the quaint town of Bustleworthy, there lived a woman named Ethel Enigma. Ethel was known for her impressive collection of cats and cat-themed sweaters, her ability to knit sweater after sweater while binge-watching Netflix, and her curious and uncanny talent for scorching toast. She was, in a word, ordinary. But Ethel had a secret—she wanted to be extraordinary, extravagant, one-of-a-kind.

That fateful morning, as Ethel stared at her reflection in the mirror, she decided enough was enough. She was tired of being the woman who always brought the store-bought cookies to the bake sale and whose most exciting hobby was organising her knitting needle collection. She wanted to be someone new, someone daring, someone… absolutely fabulous.

Ethel sat down with a cup of tea (and a slightly burnt piece of toast) and began to plot her transformation. She grabbed a notebook and started jotting down her goals. “I want to be confident, adventurous, and maybe even a little bit mysterious,” she wrote. She underlined “mysterious” three times for emphasis.

Ethel’s first stop was the local salon, where she asked for a haircut that screamed “I am a woman of intrigue.” The stylist, a bit bewildered but game for the challenge, gave Ethel a sleek bob with a hint of a side-swept bang. Ethel emerged from the salon feeling like a new woman, ready to take on the world (or at least the local grocery store).

Ethel decided she needed a hobby that was more exciting than knitting. She signed up for a salsa dancing class, figuring that if she could master the cha-cha, she could handle anything. Her first class was a disaster—she stepped on her partner’s toes more times than she could count—but she left feeling exhilarated and alive.

To add a touch of mystery to her new persona, Ethel started wearing sunglasses indoors and carrying a small, leather-bound notebook. She would occasionally jot down cryptic notes, hoping to pique the curiosity of her fellow townspeople. It worked—within a week, rumours were circulating about Ethel’s secret life as a spy or an international jewel thief.

Ethel’s final challenge was to boost her confidence. She started by giving herself daily pep talks in the mirror. “You are fierce, you are fabulous, and you can do anything,” she would tell her reflection.

Ethel’s transformation was complete. She strutted down the streets of Bustleworthy with a newfound swagger, her sunglasses firmly in place, and her notebook tucked under her arm. The townspeople whispered and pointed, wondering who this mysterious, supremely confident woman was.

Ethel’s life was forever changed. She became a local celebrity, known for her elegance, her dancing skills, and her mysterious aura. She even started a side business as a life coach, helping others find their inner fabulousness.

And as for the burnt toast? Ethel embraced it as a quirk, a reminder of her past that made her present all the more extraordinary. In her blog, “Burnt Toast and Beyond,” she shared recipes, life lessons, and the occasional cat-themed sweater pattern.

In the end, Ethel learned that changing your identity isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about embracing who you are and letting your authentic self shine through.

So here’s to Ethel Enigma, the woman who dared to dream big, dance boldly, and burn toast with pride. May we all find a little bit of Ethel within ourselves.

Invitation to Attend a Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat

Embarking on a Camino de Santiago walking retreat in the south of France can be a profoundly transformative experience, I have seen it happen countless times, perfectly complementing a journey of self-discovery and identity shift. The Camino, with its historic significance and spiritual depth, provides an ideal setting for the “The Grand Adventure of Becoming You 2.0.”

Each step along the picturesque trails, surrounded by the serene beauty of the French countryside, offers a chance to disconnect from the noise of daily life and reconnect with your inner self. The physical challenge of the walk serves as a metaphor for the mental and emotional challenges we face during personal transformations. It encourages perseverance, resilience, and a deeper understanding of our “hidden” abilities.

Encountering other pilgrims from all walks of life on the trail fosters a sense of camaraderie, mirroring the importance of a supportive network in any identity shift. The quiet moments of solitude allow for introspection, helping you to contemplate and clarify the changes you want to make.

Seriously though, this unique retreat is an invaluable tool for anyone seeking to reinvent themselves and embrace a new, more authentic identity.

Final Thoughts

By following these detailed steps and staying committed to your new routines, you can successfully shift your identity from who you used to be to who you want to be. You’ll stumble, you’ll falter, and you might even find yourself eating ice cream straight from the tub at 2 AM, questioning your life choices. But that’s okay! Because every setback is just a plot twist in the epic tale of your metamorphosis.

So, embrace the chaos, laugh at the absurdity, and keep moving forward. After all, even the most polished, put-together people you see on social media have their moments of hot mess express. The difference is, they’ve learned to own it and turn it into a hilarious Instagram story.

And who knows? Maybe one day, you’ll look back at this journey and laugh at how far you’ve come. From the person who couldn’t parallel park to save their life, to the confident, self-assured professional who can give a presentation without imagining the audience in their underwear.

Stay awesome, stay weird, and most importantly, stay true to yourself. The world needs more people who aren’t afraid to be their authentic, slightly ridiculous selves.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

All content of this website is copyrighted. You cannot copy the content of this page