Courses, Books and Retreats in the Southwest of France
Author: Margaretha Montagu
Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is a certified transformational retreat leader who guides her clients towards their most meaningful and fulfilling lives, particularly when navigating life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian Horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
From Confusion to Clarity: Making Sense of Life Transitions
Alright, so here you are—smack in the middle of a life transition. Maybe you’ve just left a job you had thought would be the job of all jobs. Maybe the relationship you’d bet everything on crumbled faster than a chocolate chip cookie. Or perhaps your kids just moved out, and you’re standing there in the middle of your empty house, wondering, What now?
Life transitions have this irritating tendency to bring up those annoying, existential questions, like this one: Is my life meaningful?
Well, is it?Was it? Can it still be?
The Myth of Constantly Needing to live a Meaning Life
First off, let’s debunk a common myth: Your life doesn’t have to feel meaningful 24/7 365 days/year for it to be meaningful.
We’ve been sold this ridiculous idea that we should wake up every morning feeling like Tony Robbins on a triple espresso, ready to conquer the day with fiery purpose.
Here’s the truth: Meaning ebbs and flows. It’s not a permanent state of being. It’s more like the tide—sometimes it’s rushing in, and other times it pulls back so far you’re left staring at the rocks wondering where on earth the water went.
But that doesn’t mean the ocean has evaporated. It’s still there. just like meaning is still there, waiting for the right moment to come rushing back.
Transitions Make You Feel Like You’re Drowning—In Shallow Water
Life transitions have a sneaky way of making us feel like we’re in at the deep end without a life buoy. And in those moments, everything feels uncertain. You start asking big questions: What does it all mean?
Life doesn’t lose all meaning when you are going through a transition. Transitions are where meaning is born. Every major shift, every time you’ve been shoved into uncomfortable new territory, you’re given the chance to reexamine, redefine, and reshape what gives your life purpose.
Think back to the last time you went through a big change. Maybe it was terrifying. Maybe you flailed around for a while, questioning everything. But what happened? Eventually, you found your footing. And with that, a new spark of meaning flickered into existence.
That’s what transitions do. They tear down the old so you can build something new—something more aligned with who you are now.
Stop Hunting for Meaning Like It’s an Undelivered Amazon Package
Here’s another mistake we make: We treat meaning like it’s something we can check off our to-do list. Like, once we find it, it’ll arrive at our door in a neat little box and we can keep it forever. Sorry to break it to you, but that’s not how this works.
Meaning isn’t some external prize waiting to be discovered. It’s not sitting on top of a mountain, shining at the end of a job title, throbbing in the heart of a relationship, or flashing at the end of an address like a coveted zip code. It’s something you cultivate. It’s an inside job.
You’re probably already living a life full of meaning. You just don’t realise it because you’re too busy scanning the horizon for something bigger, better and shinier.
The Power of Micro-Meaning
If you’re in the midst of a transition, it’s easy to lose sight of the small stuff that gives your life meaning. But here’s the hack: start looking for micro-meanings. These are the tiny, everyday things that matter, even if they don’t come with a breathtaking firework display.
It’s the way you made your friends laugh when they were having a bad day. It’s that book you can’t stop reading because it’s filling your mind with new ideas. It’s the project you’ve been tinkering with, wanting to make someone’s life easier. It’s taking your other half their first cup of coffee in the morning.
These moments? They’re meaningful. Sometimes, the most meaningful moments come in the simplest smallest packages.
Redefine What Matters To You Now
During a transition, it’s easy to let other people’s definitions of success and meaning creep into your head. Instagram has a field day with that—showing you highlight reels of people who seem to have it all figured out. Spoiler alert: they don’t.
Now’s the perfect time to redefine what matters to you. Not to your parents, not to your friends, not to society. To You. What makes you feel alive? What stirs something deep inside that you can’t quite explain, but you know is important?
Life transitions are your opportunity to change the rules. You’re not the same person you were five, ten, or twenty years ago. So why should your definition of meaning still be the same?
Wait Actively
Let me guess—you’re waiting for some big epiphany before you take action. You’re hoping for a lightbulb moment, where suddenly, everything makes sense, and you know exactly what to do next.
But here’s the hard truth: clarity doesn’t just come from thinking—it comes from doingyour bit.
You don’t find meaning by sitting on the sidelines or on the fence. You find it by diving headfirst into life, trying things, making mistakes, and course-correcting things along the way. So stop waiting for the perfect answer to fall into your lap. It’s not going to happen.
Every step you take, even the small, reluctant, uncertain ones, is what makes your life meaningful. Meaning isn’t something you discover—it’s something you create.
The Meaning of Your Life Isn’t Lost, It’s Evolving
So, if you’re standing there, feeling like your life’s purpose has taken a nose-dive, chill. You’re not lost—you’re evolving. You’re shedding the old layers, making space for something new. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s essential.
This transition? It’s not devoid of meaning—it’s the construction zone where your next chapter is being built.
So, is your life still meaningful? Absolutely. But it’s up to you to see it, even in the midst of chaos. And if you’re not sure, don’t worry—meaning will show up, often in the places you least expect it.
And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive Friesian and Falabella horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a Reinvent Yourself, ReWrite Your Story and Start Your Sensational Next Chapter retreat.
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Life transitions, or life quakes, as I like to call them, that mental rollercoaster you didn’t sign up for, but here you are, buckled in, white-knuckling it like you’re on the world’s most terrifying ride.
Ah, life quakes. Those delightful times when everything’s up in the air, and you’re left wondering if someone accidentally hit the “reshuffle” button of your life. Whether you’re changing jobs, moving cities, starting (or ending) a relationship, or just navigating that lovely quarter-life/midlife/three-quarters-life crisis, transitions can feel like you’re juggling swords while riding a unicycle. Blindfolded.
Don’t panic – you’re not just going to survive this—you’re going to rock it. Here’s how:
Step 1: Identify and Accept Your Emotions
First things first: feel all the feelings. You can’t handle what you don’t acknowledge, so if you’re a cocktail of anxiety, excitement, and stress right now, that’s okay. Name your emotions. Are you feeling confused? Scared? Or just really, really angry? Sometimes it’s hard to tell.
Identify those emotions and let ’em out. You’re allowed to ugly cry or yell into a pillow—just get that emotional buildup out of your system. Think of it as clearing out the mental junk drawer so you can find your way through this.
Once you’ve figured it out, do something kind for yourself. A bubble bath, binge-watching your favourite show, listening to that playlist that makes you feel like the main character—you do you. It’s about making sure your emotions don’t turn into an emotional volcano that erupts at the worst possible moment, like mid-Zoom meeting.
Step 2: Focus on What You Can Control
Life’s going haywire, but you know what? You’re still in control of your own actions. Sure, you can’t control the economy, your boss’s mood swings, or the fact that your favourite jeans shrank (blame the dryer), but you can control how you react to the chaos.
You definitely can control whether or not you eat the entire pizza.
Create little routines and focus on daily wins: organizing your desk, cooking yourself a nice meal, or finally unfollowing that person who gives you FOMO every time they post a vacation pic. These small acts of control help ground you when everything else feels like it’s spinning out of control. It’s the small wins that matter right now.
Step 3: Adopt a Flexible Mindset
A life quake is basically a plot twist you didn’t ask for, so roll with it. Stay open to change and adapt, like a ninja. A really chill ninja. When things don’t go as planned—and spoiler alert: they won’t—don’t let it send you tumbling into oblivion. You need to roll with the punches. Got rejected from your dream job? Maybe it’s time to start that side hustle. Apartment fell through? Maybe there’s a better one around the corner. Life’s twists and turns aren’t dead ends; they’re detours.
Step 4: Stop Reminiscing and Ruminating
Here’s the thing: playing the “What If” game or starring in a mental rerun of “My Past Life Was Perfect” doesn’t help. It’s like binge-watching a series you’ve already seen—predictable and not all that entertaining the second time around.
Let go of the past. Yes, I know that’s easier said than done but obsessing over what was keeps you from seeing what could be. Instead of mourning the “good old days,” look at what’s happening right now. Focus on building the new and exciting instead of desperately missing what’s already far behind you.
So no more replays of “The Greatest Hits of My Mistakes” or that highlight reel of “What I should have done instead.” The past? It’s long gone. Focus on the here and now—this is where the magic happens.
Step 5: Seek Support
It’s time to phone a friend. (Cue: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire soundtrack.) You don’t have to go through this crazy quake on your own. Whether it’s your best friend, your mom, or your therapist—connect with your people. These are the ones who will remind you you’re not going nuts, you’re just evolving.
Sometimes you just need a pep talk, a good cry, or a night of takeout and trash TV. And if your support system can’t physically be there, there’s always FaceTime, Zoom, or just old-fashioned venting via long texts/phone calls.
Even if you’re an introvert like me, even if you HATE asking for help, reach out. Call your squad, vent, laugh, cry—just don’t do this alone. Everyone needs their “people,” even if it’s just your pet looking at you like you’ve officially lost it.
Step 6: Be Mindful
Do you know what’s harder than it looks? Staying present. Most of us are either worrying about the future or obsessing about the past during lifequakes, forgetting that life’s happening right now. The antidote? Mindfulness.
And no, you don’t have to meditate for hours on a remote mountaintop. It’s as simple as taking five deep breaths when you’re stressed or noticing the brilliant blue colour of the sky when you’re on a walk. Mindfulness is about slowing down and being aware of the little things – which are actually the big things. Mindfulness isn’t reserved for gurus or monks. It’s just about slowing down and being present. Right here, right now.
Step 7: Rest
Repeat after me: Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Yet somehow, we only succumb to sleep when we’re completely wiped out. In times of transition, rest is your best friend. You can’t solve problems when you’re running on empty.
So, give yourself permission to take that nap, close the laptop, and say “no” to that 5th Zoom call of the day. Rest is what recharges you to face the uncertainties ahead. the last time you took a nap that wasn’t immediately followed by guilt? Exactly. Rest is productive. Your brain and body need time to recharge, so give them a break.
Step 8: Invest in Yourself
While you’re waiting for life to settle down again, why not use the time to level up? Who’s the best project you’ll ever work on? You. Take a course, pick up a new skill, or even just binge-read articles on things you’re curious about. Make future-you proud of present-you.
Investing in yourself—whether it’s personal development, self-care, or education—is the best use of your time. Because you’re the one constant in this sticky mess, and the better you feel about yourself, the easier it is to navigate the chaos.
Step 9: Wait Actively
Waiting sucks. I know. Waiting doesn’t have to mean sitting around twiddling your thumbs, hoping for a sign from the universe. It’s about doing what you can while you wait. The trick is to keep moving forward, even if it feels like baby steps.
While you are waiting—whether it’s for a job offer, a decision, or clarity—stay engaged. Read, learn, take care of yourself. You’re building momentum, even when it feels like nothing’s happening. Do something productive – pick up a new hobby, declutter your life, or become a pro at solving crossword puzzles. Waiting doesn’t have to be wasted.
Step 10: Be Grateful
Gratitude is the secret sauce to staying sane when life’s unpredictable.
Okay, I know—gratitude is the advice everyone throws around, but hear me out. There’s science behind it: expressing gratitude actually shifts your brain’s focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.
So, even when life is throwing curveballs, there’s always something to be grateful for, no matter how small. Start with the basics: You’ve got a roof over your head. Your Wi-Fi’s working (most of the time). You’ve got access to memes that make you laugh. It all counts.
Step 11: Help Others
Want to stop stressing about your own life for a second? Help someone else. There’s something about lifting others that lightens your own load. Plus, it reminds you that we’re all struggling in our own ways.
It can be as simple as listening to a friend who’s also having a rough time or helping a stranger carry their groceries. Being there for someone else creates a ripple effect—and you might just find that helping them helps you too.
Sometimes, the best way to get out of your own head is to help someone else with their stuff.
Step 12: Find Meaning
Ah, the existential conundrum. Life quakes often force us to rethink what really matters. When life throws you curveballs, it’s tempting to throw a tantrum right back. Instead, ask yourself “What’s this change trying to tell me?”
Maybe it’s showing you that you’re stronger than you thought. Or that you’re ready for something new. Or that life’s too short to sweat the small stuff. Meaning doesn’t have to be profound—it just has to make sense to you.
Life transitions can be messy, but you can navigate them with a little help from your friends, a lot of patience, and maybe a nap or two.
Wrapping It Up
So—life transitions can be a wild ride. But with these 12 strategies, you’ll get through it, one (sometimes messy) step at a time. Don’t forget: It’s okay to feel all the feelings, stumble through the uncertainty, and laugh at how absurd it all seems sometimes.
Because let’s face it—no one really has it all figured out. I certainly haven’t. If you’re looking for some extra guidance and support on this wild ride, check out my Camino de Santiago walking retreats, where we combine the power of movement, nature, and reflection to help you embrace change calmly, and with clarity so that you’ll come out the other side stronger, wiser, and probably with a story that’ll make everyone laugh.
Or, if you can’t escape to the south of France right at this moment and prefer to map your own course from home, register for my Roadmap to Resilience online course. It’s packed with actionable tools and strategies to help you thrive through life’s transitions—at your own pace, in your own time.
Because no matter what life throws at you, you’ve got this. And if all else fails? There’s always pizza. And chocolate. And my personal favourite: Scottish butter tablet. 😉
Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
Why Introverts Are More Susceptible to Burnout (and How Self-Awareness Can Help Them Avoid It)
Burnout is something more and more of us have to face sooner or later in today’s fast-moving, always-connected world. Especially if we are introverts. As an introvert, I can confirm this tendency from personal experience. I have to be very careful to avoid burnout, more or less on a day-to-day basis as I tend to “turn on” my personality in an effort to appear more outgoing and sociable in social situations than I really am.
Like most introverts, I need lower levels of social stimulation and more time alone to replenish my energy stores. In a society that often favours extroverted traits, we introverts often find ourselves in social situations that quickly deplete our emotional resources. It regularly happened while I was working as a medical doctor, which is understandable, but I had hoped that hosting retreats would give me enough freedom and time to recharge my batteries when I needed to. It would have done so, had I been self-aware enough to notice when I needed to recharge. Hosting retreats has given me the time to become more self-aware, and the initial self-awareness eventually led to self-knowledge and an important discovery: the fastest and most effective way to replenish my energy stores.
Before I tell you more about that, I want to explain what “turning on” their personality mean to introverts:
Sophie was the kind of person who much preferred the quiet life, usually spending her evenings curled up with a book or strolling alone through the countryside. But tonight was different. She had to attend a networking event for her new business, and that meant “turning on” or even “turning up” her personality.
Before leaving, she stood in front of the mirror, mentally preparing. Sophie rehearsed a few icebreakers and psyched herself up: You’ve got this. Just smile, ask questions, and engage. She set a goal for herself — to speak to at least five people, even if it felt each time like she was climbing Mount Everest.
At the event, she initiated one conversation after another, forcing herself to make small talk – something she thoroughly detested doing. With each interaction, she pushed herself to maintain eye contact, smile warmly, and gestured animatedly. Her tone was light and her body language was open. She talked about subjects she normally would never discuss with strangers. She even cracked a joke or two.
As the evening wore on, Sophie noticed her internal batteries were starting to run low. Her instinct was to retreat to a quiet corner, but she resisted, instead continuing to participate in discussions. She shared personal stories, even though it wasn’t her style, and responded quickly, without her usual reflective pauses. All the while, she hid her growing fatigue, smiling as if she enjoyed every second of the bustling social event.
When it was finally over, she left with a sense of accomplishment but also an urgent need to replenish her energy stores. For Sophie—and for many introverts—turning on her personality takes a lot of effort and can be exhausting for introverts, as it requires them to operate outside their natural comfort zone.
Unless Sophie is fairly self-aware, she may push herself too hard, which often leads to what’s known as an “introvert hangover” – a period of intense fatigue following social interactions where introverts have to maintain this heightened level of engagement for a too long period of time.
Why are Introverts more at risk of getting burnt out?
Introverts get overstimulated in busy social environments. They tend to prefer quieter, less stimulating environments. In many professional settings, constant meetings, social gatherings, and collaborative work can feel overwhelming and exhausting to introverts. Unlike extroverts, who draw energy from social interactions, introverts often find these experiences depleting. Over time, prolonged exposure to such overstimulation can lead to emotional exhaustion— a key ingredient of burnout.
The energy reserves of introverts are quickly drained in situations that require extended social interaction or multitasking in busy environments. Without sufficient opportunities to recharge in solitude, introverts may feel like they’re constantly running on empty. If they aren’t self-aware and don’t recognise the signs early on and insist on downtime, this depletion can spiral into full-blown burnout.
Introverts typically process stress internally, which means they’re more likely to ruminate on negative experiences, thoughts, or emotions. While this inward focus can be great for problem-solving, it can also amplify feelings of overwhelm. In a high-pressure job or during personal challenges, this tendency to internalise can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy, leading introverts to feel trapped in their own thoughts.
Introverts have difficulties setting boundaries. For introverts, saying no—whether it’s to extra social engagements or additional work tasks—can be difficult, especially if they fear disappointing others. This can lead to overcommitting, which results in feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Without clear boundaries, introverts risk giving too much of their energy away, leaving little left for themselves.
How Self-Awareness Can Help Introverts Avoid Burnout
The good news is that introverts, with a bit of self-awareness, can learn to recognise the early signs of burnout and take proactive steps to prevent it.
Understanding Your Energy Needs The first step to avoiding burnout is becoming aware of how you, as an introvert, manage your energy. Take note of the situations that leave you feeling drained versus those that help you feel vibrantly alive. Do you find yourself exhausted after a long day of meetings? Or perhaps a crowded event leaves you wanting to disappear for a while. Acknowledging this is the first step toward creating a schedule that balances energy-draining activities with restorative downtime.
Knowing Your Limitations Introverts often push themselves too hard in an effort to keep up with extroverted colleagues or to meet external expectations. But recognising your limits—and respecting them—is crucial for maintaining your well-being. Understand that it’s okay to set boundaries and take breaks when needed. By doing so, you’ll be better equipped to handle the demands of your work or personal life without burning out.
Learning to Say No For introverts, learning to say no can be one of the most powerful tools in preventing burnout. Whether it’s declining a social invitation or setting limits at work, saying no allows you to protect your energy and prioritise what matters most. Self-awareness helps you recognise when you’re approaching your limit, empowering you to say no before burnout sets in.
Creating Recharge Rituals Introverts can prevent burnout by building recharge rituals into their daily routines. Whether it’s spending time in nature, practising mindfulness, or enjoying a good book, these activities can help you reset and recharge. When you’re aware of what truly restores your energy, you can make it a regular part of your life.
From Self-awareness to Self-Knowledge
Ultimately, self-awareness should lead to self-knowledge—an understanding of your true values, needs, preferences, and boundaries – which allows introverts to avoid burnout. Journaling can be an incredibly effective tool for introverts to progress from self-awareness to self-knowledge. Here’s how:
Journaling allows introverts to reflect regularly on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviour in different situations. By documenting your experiences consistently, you can begin to identify patterns that may not be immediately obvious in the moment. For example, after journaling about various social events, you might recognise that certain types of gatherings are more exhausting than others, leading to deeper insights into your social preferences.
Introverts can use journaling to unpack their emotions and pinpoint why they feel certain ways in specific contexts. It provides space to explore the root causes of overstimulation, discomfort, or anxiety, moving from surface-level awareness (“I feel drained”) to a deeper understanding (“I feel drained because the environment was too chaotic, and I value calm spaces”).
Through journaling, introverts can reflect on what truly matters to them in their interactions and daily life. Writing about experiences where you felt most comfortable or fulfilled can highlight core values, such as the importance of meaningful connections or quiet solitude. Recognising these values helps transform fleeting awareness into long-term self-knowledge.
Journaling can be used to set goals for personal growth and track how well those goals align with an introvert’s natural temperament. For instance, after journaling about how social events affect your energy levels, you might experiment with setting boundaries or adjusting how much social interaction you take on. By reflecting on the outcomes of these experiments, you gain deeper self-knowledge about what works best for you.
Over time, journaling offers a tangible record of how your self-awareness has evolved. You can look back at past entries and see how your understanding of yourself has deepened. This retrospective view allows you to notice how you’ve grown and what insights you’ve gained about your true needs, preferences, limitations and strengths.
Journaling bridges the gap between self-awareness and self-knowledge by offering a structured way for you to explore, reflect, and learn more about yourself. It transforms awareness of current feelings into lasting insights about who you are and what you need to thrive.
Five journaling prompts to help you cultivate self-awareness
“What situations drain my energy the most, and how do I typically recover?” Reflect on specific social or work situations that leave you feeling exhausted. How do you usually recharge, and could you improve your recovery process?
“How do I feel when I have to ‘turn on’ my personality? What signs of overstimulation do I notice in myself?” Explore how your body and mind respond when you push yourself to be more outgoing. What physical or emotional cues tell you it’s time to take a break?
“When am I most comfortable and authentic in social interactions?” Think about the types of conversations or environments where you feel at ease. What can you learn from those moments about your true social preferences?
“What boundaries can I set to protect my need for solitude without feeling guilty?” Consider areas in your life where you could establish healthier boundaries to honour your need for quiet time. How can you communicate those boundaries clearly to others?
“How do I balance personal growth with staying true to my introverted nature?” Reflect on moments when you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone for personal growth. How can you challenge yourself while still respecting your natural temperament?
Journalling helped me to discover the fastest and most effective way to replenish my energy stores
Moving Forward
Burnout can be a serious issue for introverts, but by cultivating self-awareness, we can learn to manage our energy, set healthy boundaries, and recognise the signs of burnout before it escalates into a serious problem.
If you’re an introvert facing burnout or trying to avoid it, especially during a life transition, you might want to attend one of my Camino de Santiago walking retreats, designed to help you reconnect with yourself, rest and recharge your batteries on a little French farm in the southwest of France. My retreats offer the perfect opportunity for introverts to unplug, become self-aware, and find out how to avoid/recover from burnout.
By becoming more self-aware and understanding your needs as an introvert, you can break free from the cycle of burnout and lead a more balanced, meaningful and fulfilling life.
Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
References
Bakker, A. B., Van Der Zee, K. I., Lewig, K. A., & Dollard, M. F. (2006). The relationship between the Big Five personality factors and burnout: A study among volunteer counsellors. The Journal of Social Psychology, 146(1), 31-50.
Demerouti, E., Bakker, A. B., Nachreiner, F., & Schaufeli, W. B. (2001). The job demands-resources model of burnout. Journal of Applied Psychology, 86(3), 499-512.
Hülsheger, U. R., & Schewe, A. F. (2011). On the costs and benefits of emotional labour: A meta-analysis of three decades of research. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 16(3), 361-389.
Laney, M. O. (2002). The introvert advantage: How to thrive in an extrovert world. Workman Publishing.
Opt, S. K., & Loffredo, D. A. (2003). Communicator image and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator extraversion-introversion. The Journal of Psychology, 137(6), 560-568.
Swickert, R. J., Rosentreter, C. J., Hittner, J. B., & Mushrush, J. E. (2002). Extraversion, social support processes, and stress. Personality and Individual Differences, 32(5), 877-891.
Zelenski, J. M., Santoro, M. S., & Whelan, D. C. (2012). Would introverts be better off if they acted more like extraverts? Exploring emotional and cognitive consequences of counterdispositional behavior. Emotion, 12(2), 290-303.
Walking Meditation can dramatically enhance your experience of walking the Camino de Santiago because it:
1. Makes the Walk More Meaningful
The Camino isn’t just a long walk; it’s a spiritual trek. Walking meditation helps you focus on every single step, every breath, and everything around you. You tune into the rhythm of your feet hitting the ground, your breathing, the movement of your body—and suddenly, you’re not just walking, you’re experiencing it. It’s like turning the volume up on the whole journey.
2. Clears Out the Mental Clutter
Got a head full of noise? Walking meditation can help you get rid of mental clutter so you’re not distracted by your thoughts. Instead of obsessing over that thing you said at a party three months ago, you’re here, present, working through stuff in a more reflective way. Especially on a trail as stunning as the Camino, this practice can bring major emotional breakthroughs, especially for those walking to heal.
3. Takes Your Spiritual Game to the Next Level
Whether you’re in it for spiritual growth or just looking for some clarity, walking meditation turns every step into a spiritual experience. It mirrors your inner quest for meaning, just like the pilgrims who’ve walked this path for centuries. The Camino becomes less about the destination and more about your own path to understanding.
4. Connects You to Nature Like Never Before
You’re walking through vineyards, forests, tiny villages—it’s nature overload in the best way. Walking meditation invites you to fully take it all in. You notice the smells, sounds, and sights in a way you usually don’t. And suddenly, you’re not just a person walking through the environment; you’re part of it. Gratitude, wonder, and a deep connection to the earth hit you hard.
5. EffectivelyFights Fatigue
Walking the Camino isn’t a walk in the park—it’s long, it’s tiring, and some days feel endless. But with walking meditation, you focus on each step instead of stressing about how much farther you have to go. It shifts your mindset from “enduring” the journey to fully “living” it. Plus, it’s proven to lower stress, which is a bonus when both your body and mind are exhausted.
6. Teaches You Patience and Increase Your Resilience
Walking the Camino throws challenges at you—blisters, rain, emotional lows—but walking meditation helps you handle all of that with patience. Instead of rushing to push through the tough stuff, you learn to accept each moment as it is. The hard parts don’t feel like obstacles; they become opportunities for personal growth. Patience and resilience? You’ll be a master by the end of your walk.
7. Fuels Personal Transformation
Most people decide to walk the Camino when they’re in the middle of some big life transition. Whether you’re grieving, searching for solutions, or just feeling lost, walking meditation helps you process it all step by step. Every mindful stride becomes a metaphor for moving forward in your life. By the end, you’re not just physically stronger—you’ve gained clarity and maybe even a whole new outlook on life.
How can you practice Walking Meditation while walking the Camino?
Before you start walking, pause for a moment to ground yourself. Stand still, take a few deep breaths, and bring your attention to your body. Feel your feet connected to the earth, notice how you’re standing, and become aware of your posture. Set the intention to walk mindfully, focusing on each step and breath.
2. Focus on Your Steps
As you begin to walk, bring your attention to the sensation of each step. Notice how your feet lift, move through the air, and then touch the ground again. Pay attention to the weight transfer from one foot to the other. Let your walking be slow and deliberate at first to fully experience each movement.
Tip: You can synchronise your steps with your breath. For example, take one step with each inhale and another with each exhale (more options). As you get more comfortable, you can adjust this rhythm to suit your pace.
3. Incorporate Breath Awareness
Breathing is a natural complement to walking meditation. Focus on your breath as it flows in and out. Notice whether your breath is deep or shallow, fast or slow. You can try specific breathing exercises, such as inhaling for a set number of steps (e.g., four) and exhaling for the same number, or practising 2:1 breathing (exhaling for twice as long as inhaling).
If you find your mind wandering, gently bring your attention back to your breath and your steps.
4. Engage Your Senses
While walking the Camino, you are surrounded by breathtakingly beautiful landscapes, rich sounds, and diverse smells. Use these sensory inputs as anchors to the present moment. Notice the feel of the wind on your skin, the sound of birds, or the crunch of gravel under your feet. Let these observations ground you in the moment without overwhelming your focus.
Tip: A useful technique is “breathing with the senses.” For example, while you inhale, focus on the sight of the landscape in front of you; while you exhale, focus on the sound of the environment around you.
5. Embrace the Present Moment
Walking meditation is about embracing each moment without judgment or hurry. As you walk the Camino, you may find your mind racing with thoughts about how far you need to go or reflecting on past memories. When this happens, acknowledge those thoughts and gently return your attention to the present—your steps, your breath, and your surroundings.
The Camino is a long journey, and walking meditation can help you break it down into manageable, mindful moments rather than focusing on the final destination.
6. Adjust to the Rhythm of Nature
The Camino offers a variety of terrains and environments. Adjust your walking meditation practice to suit these changing conditions. On a quiet path through nature, you might walk more slowly and savour the stillness. On busier stretches or through villages, you might practice shorter bursts of walking meditation, focusing on breath and steps for a few minutes at a time.
7. Release Expectations
There’s no need to meditate the entire time you’re walking the Camino. You can do walking meditation in short intervals, for 5 or 10 minutes at a time. What matters is not how long you do it but how present you are when you do. Release any expectations of perfection, and if your mind wanders or you get distracted, simply come back to your steps and breath.
8. Be Grateful
As part of your walking meditation, consider integrating gratitude for the journey you’re on. Reflect on the opportunity to walk the Camino, the beauty of the landscapes, and the support of fellow pilgrims. Allow feelings of gratitude to rise with each step, which can deepen your connection to the experience and infuse your walk with positivity.
9. ReflectAfterwards
When you finish your walking meditation session, pause for a moment. Reflect on how you feel physically and mentally. Take a few breaths, and express gratitude for the experience. This helps transition from the meditative state back to the more active rhythm of walking the Camino.
By practising walking meditation while on the Camino de Santiago, you can transform the act of walking into a mindful, meaningful experience. It brings you into the present moment, deepens your connection with nature and the path, and offers an opportunity for reflection and creating inner calm. Walking meditation can enrich every step of your journey.
Further Ways to Enrich Your Camino de Santiago Walk
There are many other ways to enrich your Camino de Santiago experience and make it more meaningful:
1. Set an Intention for Your Journey
Before starting your Camino, take some time to reflect on why you are doing the pilgrimage. Are you seeking spiritual growth, healing, a fresh perspective, or simply adventure? Setting a clear intention can help guide your experience and give deeper meaning to each step.
Tip: You could dedicate each day of walking to a different aspect of your life, reflecting on relationships, goals, or personal challenges as you go.
2. Keep a Journal
Journaling is a powerful way to process your thoughts, emotions, and experiences during the Camino. Writing down your reflections at the end of each day can help you make sense of the journey, capture key moments, and create lasting memories.
Tip: You might choose to write about the challenges and triumphs you faced that day, the people you met, or moments that made you feel inspired or grateful.
4. Take Photos but do so Mindfully
While it’s tempting to take hundreds of pictures, practising mindful photography can encourage you to slow down and truly appreciate the beauty around you. Rather than snapping quick shots, take a moment to pause, breathe, and really observe the landscape or scene before you take a photo. This turns photography into a more meaningful part of the journey.
Tip: Choose a specific theme for your photos, such as light, nature, or architecture, to give you a more focused way to connect with your surroundings.
5. A little Solitudegoes a long Way
Spend time walking in silence to give yourself space to reflect, gain clarity, and process emotions. Solitude allows you to connect more deeply with yourself and the journey.
Tip: Dedicate specific stretches of the Camino to walk in silence, using the time for personal reflection or meditation.
8. Get to know the Locals
The Camino takes you through vibrant regions of Spain and France, each with its own rich culture. Take time to immerse yourself in the local traditions, foods, and customs. Visit historic churches, enjoy local cuisine, and learn about the history of the villages you pass through.
Tip: Try regional dishes like paella or confit de canard, the traditional croustade, to fully experience the local flavours.
9. Express yourself Creatively
Creative activities like sketching, painting, or writing poetry can be wonderful ways to express your experiences on the Camino. They allow you to channel what you’re feeling or seeing into something tangible, making the journey even more personal and meaningful.
Tip: Carry a small sketchbook or journal and spend a few moments each day capturing the essence of your journey through art or words.
10. Read or Listen to Inspirational Books
Before you attend one of my Camino de Santiago Hiking adventures, reading one or more books about this world-famous pilgrimage could significantly enrich your experience. Below you’ll find a list of my favourites, offering insights from both personal experiences and historical perspectives. These books range from memoirs to practical guides, providing valuable resources for anyone preparing for the pilgrimage.
Books like Paulo Coelho’s The Pilgrimage can be great companions during your journey, sparking inner reflections along the way:
1. “The Pilgrimage” by Paulo Coelho
Genre: Memoir/Spiritual Fiction
Overview: Paulo Coelho’s semi-autobiographical novel tells the story of his pilgrimage to Santiago as a search for spiritual enlightenment. Blending fiction with real experiences, the book explores the transformative power of the Camino and has inspired many people to undertake the journey.
2. “The Way of the Stars: Journeys on the Camino de Santiago” by Robert C. Sibley
Genre: Memoir/Travel
Overview: Sibley’s reflective memoir captures the spiritual and personal growth that comes with walking the Camino. His account focuses on how the journey allowed him to reconnect with faith, history, and his sense of purpose, offering a deep, contemplative perspective.
3. “Walking the Camino de Santiago: A Beginner’s Guide” by Stacey Wittig
Genre: Guidebook
Overview: This practical guide is ideal for beginners planning their first pilgrimage. Wittig provides tips on everything from packing to navigating the route, making it a useful companion for anyone seeking a no-nonsense introduction to walking the Camino.
4. “I’m Off Then: Losing and Finding Myself on the Camino de Santiago” by Hape Kerkeling
Genre: Memoir/Travel
Overview: A humorous and insightful account of German comedian Hape Kerkeling’s pilgrimage. Filled with wit and wisdom, the book explores both the physical challenges and the profound moments of discovery along the Camino, making it an engaging and entertaining read.
5. “The Camino: A Journey of the Spirit” by Shirley MacLaine
Genre: Memoir/Spiritual
Overview: In this deeply spiritual memoir, actress Shirley MacLaine chronicles her pilgrimage on the Camino, sharing her personal experiences of enlightenment and transformation. The book blends physical, spiritual, and metaphysical themes, offering a unique perspective on the journey.
6. “A Pilgrim’s Guide to the Camino de Santiago” by John Brierley
Genre: Guidebook
Overview: This is one of the most popular and comprehensive guidebooks for pilgrims walking the Camino. It includes maps, practical tips, and spiritual insights, making it a must-have for both first-time and returning pilgrims. Brierley offers advice not only for the journey but also for the spiritual aspects of the pilgrimage.
7. “What the Psychic Told the Pilgrim” by Jane Christmas
Genre: Memoir/Humor
Overview: A funny and heartwarming memoir about a woman’s journey on the Camino, which begins with a psychic telling her she will walk the pilgrimage. Jane Christmas’s witty writing captures the emotional and physical challenges of the Camino, making it a delightful read for anyone considering the journey.
8. “The Camino: A Journey of the Spirit” by Kathryn Harrison
Genre: Memoir/Travel
Overview: Harrison’s memoir takes readers on an introspective journey as she walks the Camino, reflecting on personal relationships, history, and the spiritual calling of the pilgrimage. It’s a thoughtful and elegant exploration of the inner and outer paths walked on the Camino.
9. “Buen Camino! Walk the Camino de Santiago with a Father and Daughter” by Peter Murtagh & Natasha Murtagh
Genre: Memoir
Overview: This book is a heartfelt and poignant account of a father and daughter walking the Camino together. It explores not only the physical challenges of the pilgrimage but also the emotional bonds and shared experiences between parent and child on this journey.
10. “To the Field of Stars: A Pilgrim’s Journey to Santiago de Compostela” by Kevin A. Codd
Genre: Memoir/Spiritual
Overview: Father Kevin Codd’s reflective memoir captures the spiritual and communal aspects of the Camino. Written with humility and insight, it chronicles his 500-mile walk, filled with encounters with fellow pilgrims, moments of solitude, and profound personal insights.
11. “The Way is Made by Walking: A Pilgrimage Along the Camino de Santiago” by Arthur Paul Boers
Genre: Memoir/Spiritual
Overview: Arthur Paul Boers’s book is a rich, meditative reflection on walking the Camino, blending personal anecdotes with reflections on faith and community. It offers a spiritual perspective on pilgrimage that is deeply rooted in Christian tradition.
12. “Santiago: Saint, Pilgrim, and Church” by William Melczer
Genre: Historical/Religious
Overview: For those interested in the history and religious significance of the Camino, this book provides an in-depth look at Saint James (Santiago) and the history behind the pilgrimage. It’s a scholarly work but invaluable for understanding the historical and spiritual roots of the Camino.
In addition to the Your Next Chapter retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple ofonline courses, ex.Break Free from Uncertainty and Get Going in a New Direction – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive warning of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free A Stress-free Life Transition e-course.
Dr Margaretha Montagu – MBChB, MRCGP, NLP Master Pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert
For many years, I have been encouraging my Camino de Santiago Walking Retreats guests to practice both walking meditation and breathing meditation, alternatively, while they are walking the Camino. Most of my guests found this hugely beneficial and continued both practices when they were back home, as both practices are extremely effective at reducing stress.
This year, at the end of the retreat season, I had a new idea: why not encourage my guests to combine the two practices? Breathing is already a key part of walking meditation, but it can be difficult to maintain focus with the many distractions that arise while walking in nature.
By incorporating specific breathing exercises that follow a set pattern into walking meditation, the rhythmic nature of these techniques can potentially enhance the benefits of the practice, making it even more impactful.
To recap:
What is Walking Meditation?
Walking meditation is a form of mindfulness practice that combines the act of walking with meditative awareness. It involves walking slowly and deliberately while focusing attention on the sensations of movement, being aware of your body, your breathing, and your surroundings, and maintaining a present-moment awareness. This practice allows you to cultivate mindfulness while in motion, as opposed to traditional seated meditation. Walking meditation can be done indoors or outdoors, and is often used to bring meditative awareness into everyday activities. This practice is particularly useful for those who find seated meditation challenging. More information.
Why practice Walking Meditation?
Walking meditation can be an effective practice for reducing stress and anxiety in several ways:
Walking meditation encourages focusing on the present moment and bodily sensations, which can help break cycles of anxious or stressful thoughts. By directing attention to the physical act of walking, you can cultivate greater awareness.
The gentle, rhythmic movement of walking helps release tension in your body, which is often associated with stress and anxiety. The practice allows for a mind-body connection that can promote relaxation.
Mindful walking can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body’s “rest and digest” state. This helps counteract stress.
Walking meditation has been shown to increase the release of feel-good neurotransmitters like serotonin, which can help regulate mood and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.
By practising non-judgmental awareness during walking meditation, you can develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with negative thoughts and emotions. This can lead to improved emotional regulation and resilience.
Walking meditation naturally increases physical activity, which is known to have stress-reducing benefits. Even short sessions can help break up sedentary behaviour and provide a mental reset.
Research suggests that meditative walking, especially when done outdoors, can help you cope with sleeping difficulties. Better sleep quality is closely linked to reduced stress and anxiety levels.
Focusing on foot placement and bodily sensations during walking meditation can help individuals feel more grounded and connected to their environment, which can be particularly beneficial for those experiencing anxiety.
By regularly practising walking meditation, you may experience a cumulative effect of these benefits, leading to an overall reduction in stress and anxiety levels over time.
Operating Instructions
In walking meditation, your focus shifts from your thoughts to your steps and breath:
Set an Intention: Before starting, take a moment to breathe deeply and set an intention. It could be to calm your mind, reflect on a specific issue, or simply become more present.
Focus on Movement: Begin walking slowly, paying attention to each movement—how your heel touches the ground, how your weight shifts, your posture and how your body responds to movement.
Synchronise your Steps with your Breath: Try to coordinate your breath with your steps, which helps anchor your mind in the present. You might breathe in for a few steps and out for a few steps, finding a natural rhythm.
Mindfulness of Surroundings: Although your focus is inward, part of walking meditation is remaining aware of your environment. The goal is not to isolate yourself but to engage with your surroundings without distraction.
Which breathing techniques can you combine with walking meditation?
1. 4-4 Breathing How it works: Inhale for 4 steps, then exhale for 4 steps. Why it works: This breathing technique is simple yet effective. It helps synchronise your breath with your steps, promoting a natural flow of movement and mindfulness. The steady rhythm can calm your nervous system, reducing stress and bringing your focus to the present moment. 2. Counting Breaths with Steps How it works: Breathe in for a certain number of steps (e.g., 3 steps), then breathe out for the same number of steps (e.g., 3 steps). Over time, you can gradually increase the number of steps per breath. Why it works: This exercise promotes mindful attention to your body and surroundings, while also providing a natural progression as you extend the breath. It’s a great way to slowly build lung capacity while staying grounded in your practice. 3. 2:1 Breathing How it works: Exhale for twice as long as you inhale. For example, breathe in for 2 steps, then breathe out for 4 steps. Why it works: This technique helps relax your body by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest and digestion. Longer exhalations naturally reduce stress and calm the mind, making it perfect for walking meditation in a serene environment. 4. Breathing with the Senses How it works: While walking, breathe in and become aware of a sensory experience around you (e.g., the sound of leaves rustling, the smell of the air, or the sight of the sky). Breathe out while continuing to focus on that sensation. Why it works: This exercise combines mindful breathing with heightened sensory awareness, grounding you in the present moment. It also helps prevent the mind from wandering by anchoring your focus to both your breath and the external world. 5. Box Breathing (Square Breathing) – my personal favourite How it works: Inhale for 4 steps, hold for 4 steps, exhale for 4 steps, hold for 4 steps. Repeat. Why it works: Box breathing is highly effective for calming the mind and body, especially in stressful situations. It promotes balanced and controlled breathing, helping you stay fully present during your walk. 6. Nasal Breathing How it works: Simply focus on breathing in and out through your nose while walking, without changing the natural rhythm of your breath. Why it works: Nasal breathing helps filter and warm the air before it enters the lungs, which can improve oxygen exchange. This can lead to a sense of calm and balance, making it easier to stay mindful while walking. 7. Breath of Joy (Energising Breathing) How it works: Take three short inhales through the nose with each step, followed by one long exhale through the mouth. Why it works: This energising breathing technique is great for a more active walking meditation, especially if you’re feeling sluggish or need to boost your energy. It can invigorate your mind and body, bringing a playful and revitalizing aspect to the practice. 8. Mindful Diaphragmatic Breathing (Belly Breathing) How it works: Breathe deeply into your diaphragm (belly), allowing it to expand with each inhale. Exhale fully, letting your belly contract. Keep your breaths slow and controlled, matching your steps. Why it works: Diaphragmatic breathing helps reduce tension and activates the parasympathetic nervous system. By breathing deeply into your belly, you can foster relaxation and greater awareness of your body’s movements while walking.
Which Exercise to Choose? For Relaxation: 2:1 breathing and nasal breathing are great choices. For Focus and Mindfulness: Counting breaths with steps and 4-4 breathing work well. For Energy Boost: Breath of Joy or Box breathing can revitalize you. For Sensory Engagement: Breathing with the senses integrates your external environment with your internal awareness.
Each of these breathing exercises can be adapted to suit your walking meditation practice, depending on whether your goal is relaxation, focus, or energy enhancement. Experiment with different techniques to find the one that best complements your practice. The key is to choose a method that feels natural and doesn’t disrupt your walking rhythm.
You are hugely welcome to join me here in the sun-blessed south of France, in my 200-year-old farmhouse, on my little French farm, for a Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat and to put my suggestion into practice on the trail. For more information about these retreats, or to inquire about availability, email me at welcome2gascony@gmail.com.
In the meantime, you’ll find a list of useful Apps and books to help you start or improve your walking meditation practice below:
Some of the best Walking Meditation Apps
Headspace: This popular meditation app includes specific walking meditations in its “movement and sport” section. It offers guided sessions like “Walking in Nature” and “Connect With Your Body” that are well-suited for mindful walking.
Calm: Calm features a “mindful walking” series designed to enhance awareness of your body and surroundings while walking. It uses natural sounds and scenic videos to create an immersive experience.
Buddhify: This app provides guided meditations specifically made for multitasking, including a series called “Parks and Nature” that focuses on increasing appreciation of the outdoors through guided focus on the natural environment.
Meditation Oasis: While not mentioned specifically for walking meditations, this app created by experienced meditation teachers likely includes walking meditation options given their extensive background.
Insight Timer: Although not specifically highlighted for walking meditations, this app offers a vast library of over 100,000 meditations, some of which are likely to include guided walking sessions.
Walking Meditations: This dedicated app offers three different walking meditations, each with a different emphasis:
“Being Fully Present” (16 min)
“Enlivening the Body” (17 min)
“Enhancing the Senses” (18 min)
When choosing an app for guided walking meditations, consider factors like the variety of sessions offered, the ability to customise your experience, and whether the app integrates with health tracking features on your device. Many of these apps offer free trials, so you can test them out to find the one that best suits your needs and preferences for mindful walking.
My Recommended Reading List
If you want to find out more about walking meditation specifically, I have listed below a couple of books that I find useful and that I have used to create the walking meditation practice that I recommend to my Camino de Santiago Walking Retreats:
“The Long Road Turns to Joy: A Guide to Walking Meditation” by Thich Nhat Hanh This book is a classic guide to walking meditation, offering simple and practical advice to make each step an act of mindfulness.
“Mindful Walking: A Path to Health and Well-Being” by Adam Ford Ford delves into the benefits of mindful walking and how it can enhance physical and mental health.
“Wherever You Go, There You Are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn While not solely focused on walking meditation, this book explores mindfulness in daily life, including how to integrate it into walking and other activities.
“Mindful Walking: Walk Your Way to Mental and Physical Well-Being” by Hugh O’Donovan This book offers a practical guide to developing a walking meditation practice, helping readers cultivate awareness through walking.
“Walking Meditation: Easy Steps to Mindfulness” by Nguyen Anh-Huong and Thich Nhat Hanh A step-by-step guide that breaks down the techniques and the philosophy behind walking meditation.
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, said: “When we walk like we are rushing, we print anxiety and sorrow on the earth. We have to walk in a way that we only print peace and serenity on the Earth… Be aware of the contact between your feet and the Earth. Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.”
Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
References
Teut et al. (2013) conducted a randomized controlled trial published in Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine. They found that participants in an 8-session mindful walking program experienced significant reductions in psychological stress symptoms and improvements in quality of life compared to a control group.
Research by Gotink et al. (2016), published in Consciousness and Cognition, demonstrated that adults who participated in mindful walking retreats showed increases in mindfulness and positive emotions
A study focusing on elderly Thai adults with depression by Prakhinkit et al. (2014), published in Clinical Interventions in Aging, revealed that those who practised walking meditation for 20-30 minutes, 2-3 times a week for 12 weeks, showed improvements in depressive symptoms and cardiovascular health compared to those who walked normally
Gainey et al. (2016) conducted a study with 72 participants, published in the Journal of Body Work and Movement Therapies, which showed that a mindfulness exercise, including walking meditation, improved measures of mood
A meta-analysis by Khoury et al. (2015), published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, found mindfulness-based interventions to be effective for reducing stress in healthy individuals
A 2014 study specifically examining Buddhist walking meditation, published in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, found that it can lower symptoms of depression, especially in elderly individuals
A study by Hanh et al. (2021) on people with diabetes who used walking meditation, published in the Journal of Diabetes Research, found that their blood pressure was significantly lower compared to those who engaged in regular walking
The diverse range of publications and consistent findings across different populations underscore the potential of walking meditation as a valuable practice for managing stress, anxiety, and related health concerns.
Imagine this: you’ve finally mustered the courage to quit the job that’s been slowly suffocating your soul, or you’re ready to leave behind a life that no longer feels worth living. The excitement of a fresh start propels you forward—until reality hits.
Suddenly, you’re knee-deep in challenges you never saw coming: financial setbacks, unexpected roadblocks, and decisions that leave you second-guessing every choice, every decision. This is where so many of our dreams crumble—not because of a lack of courage, but because the problems are different, and your old ways of solving them no longer work.
Major life changes aren’t just about leaping off a cliff and hoping you’ll grow wings on the way down; they’re about being ready to overcome unexpected mind-numbing obstacles. Updating your life skills before you leap will ensure that you are prepared for whatever lies ahead—and that can make all the difference between thriving in your next chapter or having to crawl back to the one you so desperately wanted to escape.
Helping people through life transitions is what I do. You know those big, messy life changes that feel like they’re out to get you? Like quitting your job to search for something better? We all go through them—over and over—until we finally register the lessons they’re trying to teach us (or at least stop shaking our fists at the sky).
Trust me, I get how tough these transitions can be, both in life and work. The uncertainty, the insecurity, the “let’s overthink every possible outcome” phase—I’ve been there. In the last 30 years, I’ve survived 45 life transitions (yep, 45—sometimes several at once, because, why not?). It never gets easier, but I’ve definitely gotten better at catching life’s curveballs—and learning my life lessons a little faster each time, thanks to my rock-solid support team: my horses.
I want to share what I’ve discovered with you, so you can get through your own life transitions with less panic and a lot more pizazz.
What’s a life transition, you ask? Oh, just the small stuff—like switching careers, starting a business, moving to another country, divorce, loss of a loved one, empty nests, illness, retirement… You know, the usual disasters that show up at regular intervals whether we’re ready or not.
Take Sophie, for example. She came to one of my Your Sensational Next Chapter retreats a couple of years ago.
Sophie, who had recently started a new life in France, chats to her friend Irene in London:
“Honestly, improving how you tackle problems is such a game-changer. There are a bunch of things you can do to get better at it. First off, you’ve gotta have a growth mindset. Like, instead of seeing challenges as roadblocks, think of them as chances to learn. And when you screw up? No biggie. Just figure out what went wrong and use that to improve next time. It’s all about keeping at it, even when things get tough.
Another thing that really helps is breaking the problem down into smaller pieces. When you look at it as a whole, it can feel overwhelming, but if you tackle one part at a time, it becomes way more manageable. Plus, start with the most urgent or impactful bits first—don’t try to fix everything at once.
Also, don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Sometimes the obvious solution isn’t the best one, so try looking at the problem from a totally different angle. Ever used examples or ideas from other areas of life? That kind of lateral thinking can spark some creative solutions you wouldn’t normally think of.
And, hey, get analytical. Gather all the info, weigh the pros and cons, and then connect the dots logically. It’s like being a detective—you’ve gotta follow the clues and let the data guide you.
One of the best things you can do is talk it out with other people. Sometimes, just hearing how someone else would approach it gives you a fresh perspective. Plus, if someone else has been through something similar, why not learn from their experience instead of figuring it out the hard way?
Oh, and if you’re feeling stuck, try using structured methods like mind mapping or a SWOT analysis. Those tools help you organise your thoughts and see the problem more clearly. There’s also Root Cause Analysis—basically, asking ‘why’ five times until you get to the real issue. It’s surprisingly effective.
Staying calm is super important, too. You don’t want to make decisions when you’re stressed out or emotional, so take a breather when you need it. Sometimes stepping back helps you see things more objectively.
Also, critical thinking is key. Ask yourself, ‘Why is this happening?’ or ‘What if we did it this way instead?’ And don’t just accept things at face value—challenge your assumptions. It’s like you’re keeping your brain flexible and open to new possibilities.
And hey, looking back on how you handled past problems is a great way to learn. Figure out what worked, and what didn’t, and if something keeps coming up, document the solution so you’re not reinventing the wheel every time.
Last but not least, practice. Do puzzles, tackle challenges at work, whatever it is—just keep exercising that problem-solving muscle. The more you do it, the better you’ll get at handling anything life throws at you.”
Excellent advice, but how did Sophie get so good at handling life crises?
Not so very long ago, Sophie was sitting in her office, staring out of the window, the grey London skyline mirroring her mood. She had spent the last ten years climbing the corporate ladder, only to find herself in a job she despised. The endless spreadsheets, interminable meetings, and office politics left her feeling tired and trapped. Each day dragged into the next, a monotonous loop of emails, phone calls and deadlines, with no sense of purpose.
One evening, after another exhausting day, Sophie found herself scrolling through travel blogs, imagining an entirely different life. She stumbled upon an article about a couple who had left their stressful city jobs to open a small bed-and-breakfast in the French countryside. They described the scent of lavender drifting through the air, and evenings spent chatting with guests over glasses of local wine. Something stirred inside Sophie.
“Why not me?” she had thought.
The idea seemed outrageous at first, but it wouldn’t let go. Over the next few weeks, Sophie quietly began planning her escape. She loved the idea of running a bed-and-breakfast, meeting new people, and immersing herself in the French way of life. The very thought of it filled her with hope.
By the end of that year, Sophie had quit her job, sold her apartment, and moved to a quaint village in the southwest of France. She bought an old stone farmhouse with the perfect charm for a bed-and-breakfast, surrounded by vineyards and sunflower fields. But as she stood in her new home, the excitement quickly faded, replaced by a sinking realisation: running a business was far more complicated than she had imagined.
Sophie’s problem-solving skills, which had been perfectly adequate for dealing with office issues, now seemed laughably inadequate. Fixing a Wi-Fi outage or managing a team of accountants hadn’t prepared her for the chaos that came with a leaky roof, finicky plumbing, and juggling a fluctuating guest list. She needed a new approach.
Lesson 1: Breaking Problems Down
Her first task was to tackle the farmhouse’s endless repairs. The roof leaked, the pipes groaned, and the heating system was as temperamental as the French weather. Feeling overwhelmed, Sophie remembered a piece of advice she had once heard about breaking problems down into smaller, manageable tasks.
Instead of panicking over the entire house, she made a list of each issue and prioritised them one by one. The roof came first. She contacted local tradespeople, asked for quotes, and learned to navigate French bureaucracy to get building permits. By focusing on one issue at a time, she managed to get things done.
Step 2: Thinking Outside the Box
When it came to marketing her bed-and-breakfast, Sophie hit another wall. She wasn’t attracting enough guests to make the business sustainable. She tried the traditional methods—listing on travel websites, offering discounts, and posting photos on social media—but the bookings were few and far in between.
Sophie decided to think outside the box. Instead of marketing her B&B to everyone, she focused on a niche: travellers seeking a quiet retreat in the countryside where they can recharge their batteries far from the maddening crowds. By offering a unique experience, Sophie’s B&B began to attract guests who were looking for more than just a place to sleep—they were looking for rest and renewal.
Step 3: Collaboration and Asking for Help
Running the B&B solo was exhausting. Sophie had underestimated how much work it would be, cleaning rooms, managing bookings and making breakfast every morning. For months, she stubbornly tried to handle everything herself, but it left her completely exhausted.
Eventually, she realised she needed help. She reached out to local business owners, like the nearby vineyard and cheese farm, to form partnerships. In exchange for recommending each other’s services, they shared responsibilities and helped promote each other. Sophie also hired a part-time assistant to handle the day-to-day tasks, allowing her to focus on growing the business. The collaboration not only lightened her workload but also expanded her network and gave her fresh ideas.
Step 4: Learning from Mistakes
Sophie’s first summer season was far from perfect. She double-booked rooms, mismanaged finances, and even managed to burn breakfast for a full house of guests one morning. But each mistake taught her something new.
She began reflecting on what went wrong after each hiccup and adjusted her routine. For double bookings, she upgraded her online reservation system. For finances, she took a basic accounting course and set clear budgets. And for breakfast, well, she learned not to leave the croissants in the oven while chatting with guests.
Step 5: Staying Calm and Adapting
Perhaps the most important skill Sophie developed was learning to stay calm in the face of challenges. In her old corporate life, problems often felt like the end of the world. But now, she realised that every problem had a solution—it just required patience and creative thinking.
Whenever something went wrong, she took a breath, assessed the situation, and found a way forward. Over time, her ability to solve problems became sharper, more intuitive, and more innovative. She adapted to the unpredictability of running a business, learning to expect the unexpected.
The New Sophie
A couple of years later, we stood on the terrace of Sophie’s B&B, not that far from my little farmhouse here in the southwest of France, watching the sunset over the vineyards. Her guests were chatting away around her table, enjoying the dinner she had prepared for them with fresh local ingredients. Sophie’s journey hadn’t been easy, but she had managed to transform from someone stuck in a job she hated to a confident business owner who knew how to handle whatever came her way.
If you have a dream like Sophie’s, I would very much like to help you make it a reality.
Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master Pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert)
Are you resilient enough to make as big a change as Sophie did? Take the Quiz.
In addition to the Your Next Chapter retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple ofonline courses, ex.Break Free from Uncertainty and Get Going in a New Direction – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive warning of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free A Stress-free Life Transition e-course.
Life transitions and major life changes, like losing your job, starting a business, ending a relationship, relocating to a new country, becoming a parent, coping with the loss of a loved one or an empty nest, retirement, or a significant health challenge often lead to burnout.
Burnout is more than just feeling tired or stressed—it’s a complete physical, mental, and emotional shutdown that can leave you feeling trapped and overwhelmed. If you’ve reached the point where even simple tasks feel impossible, it’s not just exhaustion you’re facing—it’s burnout.
I understand burnout, both personally and professionally, I’ve been there myself more than once. I know what it feels like—the uncertainty, the insecurity, the overthinking. In the last 30 years, I have been through 45 life transitions, sometimes more than one at a time. It hasn’t gotten any easier, but I got better at coping with it. I want to share what I have learned with you, to help you cope better too, if you are struggling to get through a life transition.
Sometimes we learn best by reading stories, so below you’ll find Emma’s story, a guest at one of my Camino de Santiago walking retreats a couple of years ago, followed by some suggestions you can use in your own situation. If you need help applying these suggestions, you are very welcome to join us for a Camino de Santiago walking retreat here at my little farmhouse in the southwest of France, or maybe enrol in my Road Map to Resilience online course – you can choose to add some one-one-one coaching to it – or start by buying my book Embracing Change – in 10 minutes a day.
Dr Margaretha Montagu – MBChB, MRCGP, NLP Master Pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert
Case Study: Emma’s Burnout Recovery Plan
Emma, a 38-year-old marketing executive, had always prided herself on being a high achiever. But after months of late nights, impossible-to-meet deadlines, and intense pressure to perform, she began to feel completely drained. Tasks she once couldn’t wait to start, she now couldn’t finish on time. She started experiencing chronic headaches, insomnia, and an overwhelming sense of dread every morning.
Emma was suffering from burnout.
She took a week’s leave from work to attend one of my Camino de Santiago Walking Retreats here in the sun-blessed southwest of France. During this time, she unplugged from emails and spent her days hiking, journaling, and practising walking meditation. Once she felt more rested, Emma began reflecting on what led to her burnout. Through journaling, she realised she had been overcommitting at work and neglecting her personal needs.
Determined to set boundaries, Emma re-entered work gradually. She communicated her limits with her boss and carved out time each day for breaks. She also made self-care a priority, scheduling time for weekly walks in nature to replenish her energy stores.
Within a few months, Emma not only recovered from burnout but also found a healthier balance between her professional and personal life. This newfound resilience helped her approach work with renewed energy, and she continues to use walking meditation as a tool to prevent burnout.
So the good news is that burnout recovery is possible, but you will have to take intentional action to regain your emotional equilibrium. In this guide, I’ll walk you through a step-by-step process to recover from burnout, focusing on rest, reflection, and gradual re-engagement.
Step 1: Recognise the Signs of Burnout
Before you can begin recovering from burnout, it’s crucial to acknowledge and accept that you are burnt out. Common symptoms include:
Chronic fatigue, even after rest
Detachment or emotional numbness
Lack of motivation or decline in work performance
Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach issues
Feeling isolated or overwhelmed by daily tasks
Admitting you’re burnt out isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s the first step toward regaining your strength. These signs are a signal that you need to hit reset.
Step 2: Prioritise Rest and Recovery
Burnout often occurs when your output far exceeds your input of rest and self-care. The first and most essential part of recovery is rest. This isn’t just about sleep (although getting enough is crucial); it’s about allowing your body and mind to reset. Here’s how you can start:
Take a break: Whether it’s a day, a weekend, or even a few weeks, step away from the stressors contributing to your burnout. While individual experiences vary, a study published in the Journal of Psychology in 2018 found that it takes an average of three to four weeks for burnout symptoms to significantly decrease with proper intervention and rest.
Sleep well: Focus on improving your sleep hygiene—create a relaxing bedtime routine, avoid screens before bed, and aim for 7-9 hours of rest.
Just rest: Spend time doing things that don’t require mental energy, like listening to soothing music, practising mindfulness, or simply sitting in nature.
During this period, avoid filling your schedule with new obligations. Let this time be solely about rest.
Step 3: Reflect on the Root Causes of Your Burnout
Once you’ve started to recover physically, it’s time to understand the emotional and psychological aspects of your burnout. A 2022 Gallup study identified the top five causes of burnout as unfair treatment at work, unmanageable workload, lack of role clarity, lack of communication and support from managers, and unreasonable time pressure. Reflection is a powerful tool to identify the root causes and make changes that prevent future burnout. Understanding what led you to this point can help prevent it from happening again.
Journal your thoughts: Writing down your feelings can help you untangle what led to burnout. Explore questions like: What are the biggest stressors in my life? Where do I feel the most depleted? What parts of my life bring me joy?
Talk to a trusted confidant: Whether it’s a friend, a coach, or a therapist, sharing your experience with someone who can listen without judgment can offer clarity and support.
Identify patterns: Notice recurring themes in your reflections. Are you over-committed? Do you lack boundaries at work? Are personal relationships draining your energy? Understanding these patterns helps you make informed decisions about your next steps.
Step 4: Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy Stores
Burnout often stems from a lack of boundaries. You’ve given too much of yourself for too long without enough rest or personal time. To truly recover and prevent future burnout, it’s essential to set boundaries.
Learn to say no: Protect your time and energy by learning to decline requests that don’t align with your priorities.
Create work-life balance: Set clear times for work and personal life, and respect them. Avoid taking work home, if possible, or answering emails outside of work hours.
Schedule regular breaks: Incorporate short, mindful breaks throughout your day to recharge. Even a five-minute pause can help reset your focus and prevent burnout from recurring.
Boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about creating space for what matters most to you.
Step 5: Re-engage Gradually
Once you’ve rested and reflected, you may feel ready to dive back into your responsibilities—but take it slow. It’s important to re-engage gradually. A slow return allows you to maintain the balance and boundaries you’ve established. Here’s how to approach it:
Start small: Begin by re-engaging in small tasks that you enjoy or find fulfilling. This could be as simple as working on a hobby or reconnecting with a passion project.
Pace yourself: Avoid overwhelming yourself with too much too soon. If you’re returning to work, ease into it by taking on lighter tasks or working part-time, if possible.
Be kind to yourself: Recovery isn’t linear. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s okay. Focus on progress rather than perfection.
Step 6: Reinforce Your Resilience for the Future
Burnout recovery is about more than just getting back to baseline—it’s about ensuring that you won’t end up in the same place again. Building resilience will help you maintain balance in the long term.
Incorporate regular self-care: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Whether it’s daily meditation, weekly hobbies, or monthly getaways, prioritise activities that replenish you.
Maintain strong boundaries: Protect the boundaries you’ve set and be vigilant about overcommitting in the future. Check-in with yourself regularly to ensure you’re staying balanced.
Develop a variety of coping strategies: Stress is inevitable, but burnout doesn’t have to be. Develop coping mechanisms, such as regular breaks, exercise, and strong social support, to manage stress before it overwhelms you. Techniques like mindfulness, exercise, and social support can be invaluable. A 2020 systematic review published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that cognitive-behavioural interventions and mindfulness-based approaches were among the most effective strategies for reducing burnout symptoms.
Burnout doesn’t have to define you or dictate your future.
Recovering from burnout takes time, patience, and determination to put yourself first. By focusing on rest, engaging in meaningful reflection, and gradually re-engaging in life with healthy boundaries, you can overcome burnout and create a balanced, meaningful and fulfilling life.
While the steps outlined in this guide provide a solid foundation for recovery, many find that expert input can accelerate their journey from exhaustion to empowerment. If you’re feeling drained, unmotivated, or disconnected, and need assistance with putting these suggestions into practice, my course, ‘Roadmap to Resilience – from Burnout to Breakthrough,‘ with or without one-on-one coaching, offers proven strategies and step-by-step guidance to help you break free from burnout and reclaim your life.
It’s time to reinvent yourself, recharge your batteries, refocus on your priorities, and reignite your enthusiasm.
Don’t let another day slip by feeling drained and disconnected. Take the first step towards reclaiming your future.
Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
Sources
Journal of Psychology study on recovery time: Sonnentag, S., & Fritz, C. (2018). Recovery from job stress: The stressor-detachment model as an integrative framework. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 36(S1), S72-S103.
Journal of Occupational Health Psychology systematic review: Ahola, K., Toppinen-Tanner, S., & Seppänen, J. (2020). Interventions to alleviate burnout symptoms and to support return to work among employees with burnout: Systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 25(1), 61-75.
Gallup study on burnout prevalence: Wigert, B., & Agrawal, S. (2022). Employee Burnout: Causes and Cures. Gallup.
As a writer, I am obsessively protective of my creativity. One of the most dangerous and destructive enemies of creativity is overthinking. Many of us do it without necessarily realising it. Our creativity determines our ability to problem-solve, which is of primordial importance to each and every one of us, especially during life transitions. Many of my Camino de Santiago de Compostela Walking Retreat guests suffer from overthinking, so I have, over the years, had to figure out how I can help them to stop doing it.
What exactly is Overthinking?
Overthinking refers to the process of excessively analysing or dwelling on a situation, decision, or problem to the point where it becomes unproductive and mentally exhausting. It often involves rehashing the same thoughts repeatedly without finding a solution, leading to a dramatic increase in our stress levels, out-of-control anxiety, and sometimes decision-making paralysis.
We are more likely to overthink during life transitions because these periods are often marked by uncertainty, change, and heightened emotions. Whether it’s a career change, a redundancy, a retirement, the loss of a loved one, a relationship ending, or personal reinvention, the uncertainty can lead to a flood of “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. During transitions, the future feels more unpredictable than ever, which fuels overthinking. We tend to dwell on past decisions or worry excessively about making the right choices, believing that every small action could make or break the next chapter of our lives. This mental overload can lead to indecision, anxiety, and a loop of thoughts that keep us stuck, and unable to move forward.
What are the Signs of Overthinking?
You may be an overthinker if you:
Have Difficulty Making Decisions: Overthinkers often struggle with even simple choices, fearing they might make the wrong decision.
Are Constant Worrying: Overthinkers tend to obsessively worry about future events that may never occur, leading to downward spiralling thoughts.
Suffer fromSleep Disturbances: Your mind is so busy that you have trouble falling or staying asleep.
EndlesslyRuminate about the Past: You frequently replay past mistakes or uncomfortable conversations in your minds.
AreFixated on being in Control: Overthinkers often focus on aspects of their lives that are beyond their control, which significantly exacerbates their anxiety.
Ask yourself the following questions: Do I have difficulty making decisions, even minor ones? Do I frequently worry about things I can’t control? Do I constantly replay past events or conversations in my mind? Do I imagine worst-case scenarios for future events? Do I have trouble sleeping due to racing thoughts? Do I often ask myself “what if” questions without finding a solution? Do I spend a lot of time looking for hidden meanings in others’ words or actions?
If you find yourself answering “yes” to most of these questions, you may well be an overthinker: for you, normal self-reflection has morphed into overthinking.
Distinction from Problem-Solving
It is crucial to differentiate between useless overthinking and effective problem-solving. Problem-solving involves actively seeking solutions and making decisions based on rational analysis, while overthinking typically involves repetitively dwelling on problems without resolution, leading to what is termed “analysis paralysis”—a state where you become so bogged down in your troublesome thoughts that you cannot solve problems or make decisions anymore.
Examples of Overthinking
Decision Paralysis: You’re trying to decide what job to take or which university to attend. Instead of making a list of pros and cons, you constantly second-guess every option, imagining all the possible outcomes, leading to months of indecision.
Overanalysing Conversations: After having a meeting with your boss or a casual conversation with a friend, you replay the conversation in your mind, worrying about every word you said and wondering if you misunderstood or were misunderstood and how that is going to complicate your future.
Fearing the Worst: Before a big presentation at work, instead of preparing thoroughly and trusting yourself to do your best, you start imagining every possible way it could go wrong, such as forgetting what you wanted to say, experiencing technical failures, or your audience losing interest.
Regretting Past Decisions: You made a decision months ago, but you still keep revisiting it in your mind, wondering if you made the right choice, and mentally reviewing alternatives that you can no longer change.
Obsessing Over Mistakes: You make a small error at work, like sending an email with a typo, and spend hours (or days) thinking about it, worrying that people will judge you harshly, even though no one else has mentioned it.
How to Stop Overthinking
If you recognise yourself in these examples, I have to tell you that stopping overthinking can be challenging, but with consistent practice, it’s possible to break the habit:
1. Firstly, become aware that you are Overthinking. Pay attention to your thoughts, notice when they start spiralling, and look for patterns or triggers that lead to overthinking. Journaling your thoughts can help you identify these moments. For example, reply to this prompt: What is one small, actionable step I can take right now to address what I’m overthinking about, and what will change if I release the need to control the outcome?
2. Challenge Your Thoughts When you catch yourself overthinking, ask yourself if your thoughts are realistic. Often, overthinking is based on worst-case scenarios. Challenge these thoughts by asking, “What’s the worst that could happen?” or “Will this matter a year from now?”
3. Focus on What You Can Control Overthinking often revolves around situations that are out of your control. Ask yourself, “What can I do about this right now?” If there’s nothing you can do, practice letting go of the situation. Shift your focus to actionable tasks.
4. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness involves staying present in the moment rather than worrying about the future or ruminating on the past. Activities like deep breathing, or taking a mindful walk can help calm your mind and bring your focus back to the present.
5. Set Time Limits for Decision-Making. If you struggle with overthinking decisions, set a time limit to make a choice. For instance, give yourself 15 minutes to weigh the pros and cons, then commit to a decision and move on. Trust your judgment rather than seeking a perfect solution.
6. Limit your Information Intake. Overthinking often comes from having too much information and trying to process it all. Avoid information overload by limiting the amount of research or opinions you seek on a subject. Once you have enough information, make a decision rather than endlessly analysing it.
7. Get some Exercise. Exercise can break the cycle of overthinking by shifting your focus from your mind to your body. Even a short walk in nature can help relieve mental tension and give you clarity.
8. Make Time to Relax-regularly. Build regular relaxation into your day, whether through deep breathing, reading, or spending time in nature. The more balanced and relaxed your mind, the less likely you’ll fall into overthinking patterns.
9. Be Kind to Yourself Overthinking is often linked to perfectionism or fear of failure. Practice self-compassion by accepting that mistakes and uncertainty are part of life. Remind yourself that it’s okay not to have all the answers.
10. Take Action Overthinking thrives on inaction. When you catch yourself getting stuck in your thoughts, take small, concrete steps toward solving the issue you’re overthinking. Even the smallest action can help shift your mind from worrying to problem-solving.
If necessary, do not hesitate to ask for help. Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist when you feel trapped in an overthinking spiral. Sometimes an outside perspective can help break the loop and bring insight.
Can Journaling Help You to Stop Overthinking?
Yes! Journaling is a powerful tool for managing overthinking because it helps to externalise your thoughts, providing clarity and emotional release. Journaling:
1. Clarifies Your Thoughts. When you write things down, you get them out of your head and onto paper, which helps you organise your thoughts and see them more clearly. Overthinking often creates mental clutter, journaling can break this down into manageable pieces.
2. Gives You Perspective. Writing down your worries allows you to see them from a more objective viewpoint. Sometimes overthinking magnifies problems, but seeing them on paper helps you assess them more realistically, which can reduce anxiety.
3. Reduces Mental Clutter. Overthinking often involves juggling multiple concerns in your mind. By journaling, you can “declutter” your mind by offloading these thoughts. It allows you to let go of repetitive thoughts and make space for more productive thinking.
4. Identifies Patterns and Triggers Journaling consistently can help you notice patterns in your overthinking. You may start to see that certain situations, people, or times of day trigger overthinking. This awareness can help you prepare for or avoid these triggers in the future.
5. Facilitates Problem-Solving. Writing down your worries gives you the chance to explore solutions. Instead of circling around the problem in your head, you can break it down into actionable steps. Even if no solution is immediately clear, the act of journaling can guide you toward one.
6. Provides Emotional Release. Overthinking often creates an accumulation of emotions. Journaling offers a safe outlet for these emotions, allowing you to release them rather than suppress them.
7. Promotes Self-Reflection. Journaling can help you reflect on how far you’ve come in dealing with certain problems. By reviewing past entries, you may notice that issues you once overthought about resolved themselves or weren’t as important as you initially believed.
8. Breaks the Rumination Cycle. Overthinking usually involves repeatedly going over the same thoughts without reaching a conclusion. Journaling breaks this cycle by giving you a concrete space to express and process those thoughts.
9. Increases Mindfulness. Journaling can help you stay in the present moment, particularly if you practice gratitude journaling. Focusing on what’s happening right now, instead of dwelling on the past or future, can help interrupt the habit of overthinking.
Mindfulness and Meditation Options – Using a simple questionnaire, this book will help you choose the meditation method that will work best for you. Meditation is not a one-size-fits-all exercise. We are all different, we each have to find a meditation method that suits us, mentally and physically. -This book with help you solve real-life problems.
10. Builds Confidence in Decision-Making. Journaling can help you develop a habit of writing out your options, reflecting on past decisions, and ultimately trusting your choices. With practice, this can make decision-making easier and quicker.
How to Journal to Reduce Overthinking:
Free Writing: Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry about structure or grammar. This helps to get your thoughts out quickly and freely.
Prompt-Based Journaling: Use prompts like “What am I overthinking about right now?” or “What’s the worst that could happen?” to guide your writing toward solutions.
Gratitude Journaling: Focusing on positive things in your life can shift your mindset from worry to appreciation, helping to reduce negative overthinking patterns.
Pros and Cons List: For decision-making, writing a pros and cons list can help you see the situation more clearly and reduce endless back-and-forth thoughts.
Reflection Entries: Review past journal entries to remind yourself how you’ve managed overthinking before and how past worries were resolved, helping to build perspective.
Journaling is not just for writers! Anyone can do it. By making journaling a regular habit, you can gain control over your overthinking, find clarity in your thoughts, and foster emotional well-being.
My walking retreats along the Camino de Santiago in the southwest of France provide the perfect antidote to overthinking. Surrounded by nature, and walking in the fresh air, guests find it much easier to leave their mental clutter behind and reconnect with the present moment. The breathtakingly beautiful landscapes, combined with purposeful reflection and mindful walking, help my guests shift their focus from endless mental loops to inner clarity and calm. With space to breathe, time to think clearly, and opportunities for meaningful conversation, my retreats will help you to embrace simplicity, gain insight and explore different perspectives.
If you would like to be notified when I publish another post like this one, you can subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter, with regular updates about the highs and lows of living on my little farm in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Subscribers get free access to my bursting-with-value e-course about surviving and thriving during major life changes.
Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
Relocation depression is a type of emotional distress caused by a major life change, that occurs when we move to a new country, often characterised by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and disconnection. It can stem from the overwhelming changes in our environment, culture, and routine, as well as the loss of familiar support systems. This sense of not belonging can lead to isolation, difficulty adjusting, and a deep longing for the comfort of our old, familiar lifestyle. While common, relocation depression can be managed by gradually building new connections and finding ways to adapt to your new surroundings.
Elena, at the tender age of 25, packed her bags and left her small hometown in Spain to start a new life in France. She’d always dreamt of adventure, of the endless possibilities that a foreign country could offer. But the reality of moving to a new country was far from the idyllic experience she’d imagined.
In the early days, Elena was filled with excitement and hope. The charm of the French language, the allure of unfamiliar streets, and the dream of building a new life in a vibrant place kept her spirits high. She envisioned herself thriving, making new friends, and becoming part of the culture. But as the weeks turned into months, the initial excitement wore off, and a deep sense of loneliness crept in. The language barrier became a formidable wall. Every conversation felt like a mountain to climb, each mispronunciation or confused expression reminding her that she didn’t belong.
Homesickness began to weigh heavily on her. She missed the warmth of her family, the familiar scent of her mother’s cooking, and the ease of speaking in her native tongue. Everything in France felt foreign, from the food to the customs, and even after trying her best to adapt, she often felt like an outsider looking in.
The next 20 years were marked by a series of emotional highs and lows. There were days when Elena felt strong, capable, and proud of her resilience. She learned the language over time, found work, and even made a few close friends. Yet, the struggle to feel at home never fully left her. She often questioned if she had made the right decision. Was this life truly worth the sacrifices? The holidays, especially, brought waves of isolation as her new life in France felt detached from the traditions she grew up with.
As the years passed, Elena wrestled with the idea of identity. Who was she now? A Spaniard living in France, but not entirely fitting in with either world. The sense of belonging that she craved remained elusive. She built a career, raised a family, and achieved much of what she had set out to do, but a part of her always felt like she was still searching for something—perhaps herself.
Through it all, she learned to cope with feelings of displacement, the ache of missing home, and the guilt of not returning more often. Yet, these challenges shaped her into a person of incredible strength and depth. By her late-40s, she no longer sought external validation for belonging. She had carved out a life of her own—one that blended her Spanish roots with her French surroundings in a way that felt uniquely hers.
Elena’s journey wasn’t about finding a single place to call home but about learning that home could be wherever she decided to build it. Looking back after 20 years, she realised that her struggle had become her teacher, and in navigating through feelings of loss and disorientation, she had found herself.
More info: Berry, J. W. (2005). Acculturation: Living successfully in two cultures. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 29(6), 697-712.
Our Need to Belong Can Cause Relocation Depression
Belonging is often misunderstood as simply having a place or group where you “fit.” We think it means being accepted by others, finding that perfect community, or settling into a career or lifestyle where everything clicks. But the truth is, belonging isn’t about ticking boxes—it’s about feeling connected and at peace with yourself, no matter where life takes you.
More info: Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.
For many of us, life changes can challenge our sense of belonging. When we move to a new city or country, our need to belong can leave us feeling uprooted and unsure of ourselves. We search for familiar faces or routines to ground us, and when those are missing, we feel lost. Eventually, we may find ourselves suffering from relocation depression. It’s natural to crave that sense of being part of something, but belonging isn’t always found in the places we look for it.
The journey to belonging begins internally. It’s about cultivating a deep sense of self-acceptance, where you no longer need external validation to feel worthy or “at home.” It’s learning to embrace who you are in your most authentic form, without trying to mold yourself to fit in. When you find that inner sense of belonging, you stop searching for it in people, places, or achievements.
True belonging is also about resilience. Life will always bring changes—new environments, shifting relationships, or personal growth that can make you feel like you don’t quite belong. But when you’ve grounded yourself in your values, your strengths, and your unique identity, you can carry that sense of belonging with you, wherever you go.
This doesn’t mean that external connections don’t matter. We all need support systems and communities that nourish us. But when we approach relationships from a place of inner belonging, we no longer feel the need to shape-shift to fit in. Instead, we show up authentically, attract like-minded people, and build deeper, more meaningful connections.
Belonging isn’t about finding the “perfect” place or group where everything aligns. It’s about creating a sense of home within yourself—one that stays with you, no matter where life’s journey takes you.
Are you resilient enough to avoid relocation depression? Find out
I have relocated several times during my career. I have found it useful, at the beginning of each new adventure, to review my life purpose. We change, our circumstances change, our lifestyles change, and our life purpose needs updating. The expression of my life purpose changed every time I relocated. Sometimes I revisited a previous expression, more often I had to create a new expression.
My online course, Rearing To Get Going In A New Direction, is based on the technique I developed to adjust my life purpose each time I moved. it will help you get the clarity, motivation and direction you need to manifest your next chapter – in both your personal and professional life. If you no longer feel passionate about what you do, if you have lost your mojo, you feel exhausted, overwhelmed and uninspired and are desperate to leave the rat race in a foreign country where it feels like it’s groundhog every day of the year, this is the course for you.
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” Brené Brown
Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
Reading List
Ward, C., Bochner, S., & Furnham, A. (2020). The psychology of culture shock. Routledge.
Cummins, R. A., Lau, A. L., & Davern, M. T. (2012). Subjective wellbeing homeostasis. In K. C. Land, A. C. Michalos, & M. J. Sirgy (Eds.), Handbook of social indicators and quality of life research (pp. 79-98). Springer.
Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. Hazelden Publishing.
Hack-Polay, D. (2012). When home isn’t home – A study of homesickness and coping strategies among migrant workers and expatriates. International Journal of Psychological Studies, 4(3), 62-72.
Mao, J., & Shen, Y. (2015). Cultural identity change in expatriates: A social network perspective. Human Relations, 68(10), 1533-1556.
Presbitero, A. (2016). Culture shock and reverse culture shock: The moderating role of cultural intelligence in international students’ adaptation. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 53, 28-38.
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog post about relocation depression is based on personal experience, research, and general knowledge. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns related to relocation or any other cause, we strongly encourage you to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. Only a licensed professional can provide a proper diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment options for your specific situation.
By reading and using the information in this blog post, you acknowledge and agree that the author and website are not responsible for any actions you take or outcomes that may result from applying this information to your personal circumstances.
The thrill of exploring uncharted territory, soaking up new cultures, and starting fresh is intoxicating—but let’s be real, it can also feel like riding a rollercoaster without a seatbelt. The emotional highs are exhilarating, but the lows? They can knock the wind right out of you. When relocating to a new country, a challenging life transition, expat burnout appears to be significantly more severe than regular burnout experienced by non-expatriate employees.
• 54% suffer from insomnia • 53% report a loss of interest in usual activities • 51% have difficulty concentrating • 48% experience feelings of worthlessness • 48% report a loss of self-confidence • 37% report appetite or eating disorders
From the Expat Insider Survey by InterNations: Annual survey conducted by InterNations, the world’s largest expat network with over 4 million members Latest edition: 2023, surveying 12,065 expats representing 177 nationalities in 181 countries
Thirty years ago, I moved 11 000kms away from everything and everyone I knew, to a new country, a new language, a new culture, and a new job.
For years I dreamt of adventure, of the limitless opportunities and possibilities that moving to a different country could offer. But the reality was far from the romantic experience I’d imagined. Everyone talks about the thrill of moving to a new country, but no one warns you about the hollow ache when you realise you’ve got to make this work, on your own.
For the first few years, every conversation felt like being a guest at someone else’s dinner party, smiling at jokes I didn’t understand. There were moments I’d stand in a crowded room and feel like a ghost—there, but not there. Invisible.
Thirty years later, I look back with wonder at my younger self—the young woman who persevered and fought to prove everyone wrong who was convinced she’d never make it. I did make it, but I learned a lot about burnout along the way and the ghost of my old insecure self still hovers at the edges of my consciousness.
If you are moving to a new country and are determined to avoid expat burnout, you need to know what triggers it:
1. The Often Overwhelming Cultural AdjustmentNeeded Adapting to a new culture often presents a significant challenge. Beyond learning a new language, you must navigate unfamiliar social norms, customs, and daily routines. Simple tasks, like grocery shopping or stopping for a coffee with a new friend, can become sources of stress. Dietary changes and even the unspoken rules of communication can amplify this tension. This constant need to adjust can leave you feeling overwhelmed, creating a sense of cultural dissonance that quickly leads to burnout.
2. The Debilitating Work-Related Pressures Many expatriates relocate for career opportunities, but these opportunities often come with added pressures. Working in a foreign setting can mean facing high expectations from both home and host organisations, unclear job roles, and an increased sense of responsibility to remain as productive as before your move. The pressure to excel in an unfamiliar environment can exacerbate stress, particularly when you struggle to balance the demands of work with the challenges of settling into a new country.
3. The Paralising Isolation and Numbing Homesickness Being far from family, friends, and familiar surroundings can leave you feeling isolated. The lack of a close support network in a foreign country often leads to feelings of loneliness, intensifying homesickness. This emotional disconnect can induce burnout, as you might struggle to find new support systems while also maintaining relationships back home.
4. The Constant Need To Adapt Life abroad is not just about adjusting once—it’s an ongoing process. From navigating new bureaucracy to understanding the healthcare system and tax laws, you face continuous challenges that can become exhausting. Everyday activities, like managing finances or simply getting from point A to point B, can feel more complex than they were in your home country, leading to emotional exhaustion.
5. Your Own Unrealistic Expectations High-achieving expats may set lofty goals for themselves in terms of how quickly they integrate into the new culture or succeed professionally. This can create unrealistic expectations, leaving little room for the natural challenges that come with cultural adaptation. When expectations don’t align with reality, feelings of failure and frustration can arise, further fueling burnout.
Take the Quiz: To find out if you are resilient enough to avoid burnout Click Here
“Relocating to Germany with my family seemed like a dream come true, but the reality hit hard. While I was dealing with a demanding new job, my wife was struggling to find work, and our kids were having trouble adjusting at school. The stress was overwhelming, and I felt like I was failing everyone. A colleague recommended a course on expat resilience, which was a game-changer. It taught me how to manage expectations, both my own and my family’s. We started exploring our new city together on weekends, making it an adventure rather than a chore. It took time, but we’ve built a wonderful life here. My advice? Be patient with yourself and your loved ones during the transition.” Carlos R., 42, Marketing Executive
If you have moved to a new country and are experiencing symptoms of burnout, you need to know how to address it:
1. Identify the Root Cause The first step to addressing burnout is understanding what’s causing it. This may require deep reflection to pinpoint what specifically stresses you, whether it stems from cultural adjustment, work pressure, or feelings of isolation. Gaining clarity can help you find appropriate solutions.
2. Prioritise Self-Care Physical health directly influences mental well-being, making an efficient self-care routine essential. You really should at least prioritise exercise, eat a balanced diet, and get sufficient rest. Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can also help manage stress and provide a sense of grounding amid the chaos of relocation to a new country.
3. Seek Social Support Forming a strong social network in the host country is crucial. Connecting with fellow expats through online forums or local meet-ups can be your lifeline. Join natives in local groups – whether it’s a yoga class, a trivia night, or a cooking group—find activities that bring you joy and help you make new friends. Shared interests = instant conversation starters. Volunteer. Volunteering isn’t just about giving back—it’s a great way to meet people and feel connected to your new community. Maintaining contact with family and friends back home is important, but it’s equally vital to cultivate meaningful relationships locally, allowing you to feel more integrated into your new environment.
4. Explore Your New Home One of the most effective ways to combat the stresses of relocation is to embrace your new environment. Make time to explore your new surroundings—whether through sightseeing, trying local cuisine, or engaging in cultural activities. This can create a sense of excitement and discovery, by replacing anxiety with curiosity.
5. Keep Your ExpectationsRealistic It’s essential to recognise that adjusting to a new culture takes time. Instead of setting unrealistic expectations for rapid cultural immersion or immediate professional success, you should give yourself permission to learn and grow at a manageable pace. This mindset shift can reduce some of the pressure you place on yourself.
6. Maintain a Healthy Work-Life Balance Creating boundaries between work and your personal life is critical. Flexible work arrangements or setting clear limits on working hours can prevent job stress from overwhelming other aspects of life. Finding time for hobbies, relaxation, and personal exploration can help ensure a balanced lifestyle.
7. Seek Professional Help When Necessary When the stress becomes unmanageable, seeking professional support can be invaluable. Many expats benefit from working with mental health professionals who understand the unique challenges of living abroad. Specialised counselling services tailored for expats can provide strategies for managing stress and navigating the emotional complexities of relocation.
8. Stay Positive Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can make a huge difference. Whether these are friends, coworkers, or fellow expats, having a community of people who lift your spirits and encourage a positive outlook can help you reframe challenges as growth opportunities.
9. Learn the Language You don’t have to be fluent, but even knowing how to order coffee in the local language can build bridges. Plus, you’ll feel like a total badass when you start picking up phrases.
“When I first moved to Japan for work, I was thrilled about the opportunity. But after a few months, the excitement wore off, and I found myself struggling with the language barrier and feeling isolated. I was working long hours to prove myself, barely sleeping, and neglecting my health. It wasn’t until I read about expat burnout that I realized what was happening. I started prioritizing self-care, joined a local expat group, and began Japanese lessons. It made a world of difference. Now, three years in, I feel at home in Tokyo and love my life here. Remember, it’s okay to take it slow and ask for help when you need it.” Sarah M., 34, Software Engineer
Final Thoughts
Relocating to a new country is tough—but it’s also the chance to reinvent yourself in ways you never imagined. Every obstacle you face in a new country teaches you resilience, patience, and flexibility—qualities that not only help you survive but thrive in your new environment. By taking intentional steps to lower your stress levels, and build strong support networks, you can avoid burnout and turn what might now feel overwhelming into an empowering adventure. Thriving as an expat isn’t so much about avoiding difficulties; it’s about learning to handle them with determination and optimism. With the right mindset and strategies, you can create a meaningful, fulfilling, and balanced life abroad.
If you start to feel a little lost along the way, my Figthing Fit and Back from Burnout during a Life Transition course might just be the compass you need to navigate your new adventure. It will equip you with practical tools to prevent burnout by building emotional stability and adaptability. In this course, I share the strategies I used to cope each time I moved to a new country. You’ll discover how to reframe challenges as opportunities for personal growth, helping you maintain a positive outlook even in difficult times. You’ll find out how to create a balanced lifestyle, making sure you can manage professional demands without sacrificing your well-being. Following this roadmap, you’ll develop the resilience you need to thrive in your new environment, avoiding the pitfalls of burnout.
“Moving from Nigeria to Canada for my Ph.D. was exciting, but I wasn’t prepared for the culture shock and academic pressure. I felt like an impostor, constantly comparing myself to my peers and pushing myself to unhealthy limits. The long, dark winters didn’t help either. I was on the verge of quitting when my advisor noticed my struggle and referred me to the university’s international student support services. They connected me with a mentor who had been through similar experiences. Learning to set realistic goals, practicing mindfulness, and building a support network of fellow international students turned things around for me. Now, I’m thriving both academically and personally. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help – there are people and resources available to support you.” Aisha K., 28, Graduate Student
In addition to the Your Next Chapter retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple ofonline courses, ex.Break Free from Uncertainty and Get Going in a New Direction – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive warning of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free A Stress-free Life Transition e-course.
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