Coping with an Empty Nest

empty nest - a family having lunch together

The Day the House Went Quiet

“I still remember the day my youngest, Alex, packed his life into two suitcases and a duffel bag for college. The house felt like it was holding its breath. One minute, it was filled with a cacophony of chatter, the clatter of dishes, and random bursts of laughter echoing through every room; the next, it was as silent as a library at midnight. I even swear I could hear the tick-tock of the clock over the silence—each tick reminding me that, yep, time was moving on, whether I liked it or not.

At first, I thought, “Okay, this is going to be a holiday!” I had plans to finally binge-watch all those TV series everyone keeps raving about and catch up on sleep. But oh, how naive I was. The empty nest wasn’t quite the leisurely retreat I’d imagined. Instead, it was a mixed bag of emotions: a dash of relief, a generous helping of guilt, and a sprinkle of loneliness that I wasn’t quite ready for.

Rediscovering a Quiet Home (and a Lot of Lost Stuff)

I’ll be honest—when the kids were around, I rarely noticed the little quirks of our home. But suddenly, with all that extra space and silence, every creak in the floorboard and whisper of wind through the curtains became a profound reminder that things had changed. I started discovering all these forgotten nooks: a dusty bookshelf in the living room that I’d long ignored, a cozy window seat I’d once used to daydream (and probably cry over a rom-com), and even an old set of gardening tools that sparked memories of when I used to pretend I was a serious horticulturist.

One Saturday morning, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a determination in the other, I decided to tackle the “lost and found” in my own home. It was like a treasure hunt—only the treasure was my old self, tucked away behind a pile of unopened mail and decades-old magazines. I found photos of birthday parties, school plays, and random snapshots of my kids when they were little bundles of energy. And while I couldn’t help but laugh at the fashion choices (hello, neon windbreakers and questionable hairdos), I also felt an ache in my heart. I missed them, and I missed the chaos that made our house a home.

Navigating the Emotional Roller Coaster

I’m not gonna lie, the emotional side of having an empty nest was like riding a roller coaster blindfolded. Some days, I’d wake up feeling lighter, almost liberated by the newfound quiet, only to be smacked in the face by waves of sadness later in the day. It’s weird how you can feel both free and trapped all at once. I started journaling—a little habit that I’d abandoned during the hectic parenting years—and found it therapeutic. There’s something magical about putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) that helped me untangle the jumble of thoughts in my head.

I wrote about everything: the quiet mornings that suddenly felt too quiet, the afternoons when I’d cook a meal for one and then spend hours talking to my houseplants (don’t judge me—they’re great listeners!). I even documented the “good days” where I’d have one of those spur-of-the-moment dance parties in the kitchen to my favourite ’80s hits (yes, I still rock out to Madonna and Cyndi Lauper 🎶). On those dance days, I’d forget for a moment that I was coping with loss and simply celebrate the freedom of being me.

The Unexpected Joys of Being an Empty-Nester

As the months passed, I began to notice something unexpected: the empty nest wasn’t just a void—it was a space waiting to be filled with new experiences. I started exploring hobbies I’d long pushed aside. I dusted off my old paintbrushes and rekindled a love for watercolour painting. There’s something incredibly freeing about watching a blank canvas slowly come to life with vibrant colours. I even signed up for a local art class, which turned out to be a fantastic way to meet new people (and, frankly, a welcome distraction from my occasional bouts of nostalgia).

Another revelation came when I began volunteering at a community centre. It started with a simple desire to do something meaningful, but it quickly turned into one of the most fulfilling parts of my week. Whether I was helping organize community events or simply chatting with other volunteers, I found that giving back added a new layer of purpose to my days. It was like discovering a secret garden of connections and compassion that I’d somehow overlooked before.

And let’s talk about travel—yes, travel! With the kids off at college and on their own adventures, I finally had the freedom to book that spontaneous weekend getaway. I embarked on a road trip with a couple of old friends, a journey filled with offbeat roadside diners, quirky roadside attractions (hello, giant rubber ducks and UFO museums), and a whole lot of laughter. Those trips reminded me that life is too short to let fear or routine hold you back. Sometimes, all you need is a change of scenery and a little bit of wanderlust to reignite your sense of adventure.

Embracing the New Normal

Of course, adjusting to this “new normal” wasn’t without its missteps. There were plenty of times when I felt like I was trying to reinvent myself without a user manual. I’d try on new looks—hello, experimental hair colour (a bold attempt at a warm auburn that looked more like burnt sienna, oops!) and trendy outfits that I wasn’t entirely sure I belonged in. And don’t even get me started on the technology upgrades. I found myself spending way too long figuring out how to set up a smart home system that, frankly, acted more like a moody teenager than a helpful assistant. There were moments when I’d swear my phone was judging me for asking it to play “something upbeat” when I just needed a little pick-me-up.

I also had some hilariously awkward encounters with my kids during their occasional visits. Picture this: me, trying to be the hip, fun mom, using slang I wasn’t sure even existed anymore. “Yo, fam, what’s the 411 on this vibe?” I’d say, only to be met with a mixture of eye-rolls and giggles. It was clear that while I was determined to bridge the gap between generations, some things just couldn’t be translated. But honestly, those moments, as cringe-worthy as they were, filled me with warmth. They reminded me that while our roles may change, the bond between parent and child remains a constant—even if it comes with a side of awkward humour.

Learning to Love the Silence

One of the strangest parts of coping with an empty nest was learning to appreciate the silence. Not the oppressive, lonely kind of silence, but a gentle, reflective quiet that allowed me to hear my own thoughts. I started practising meditation and yoga, not because I thought it would magically solve all my problems, but because it gave me a chance to reconnect with myself. It wasn’t always easy—there were days when my mind buzzed with worries and what-ifs—but over time, I began to cherish those moments of calm.

I even took up birdwatching. I know, I know—me, birdwatching? But trust me, it became a delightful little ritual. Each morning, I’d set out a thermos of coffee, a pair of binoculars, and a hopeful heart, and head to the local park. There, amidst the chirping of birds and the rustle of leaves, I found a sense of peace I hadn’t realized I was missing. It was a reminder that even in the stillness, life goes on in beautiful, unexpected ways.

The Art of Letting Go

A big part of this journey was learning the art of letting go—of expectations, of guilt, of the past. For years, I’d clung to the notion that my worth was tied to being the “perfect” mom, always there, always on call, always managing every little detail. But as the nest emptied, I was forced to confront the fact that my identity wasn’t solely defined by motherhood. It was a hard pill to swallow at first. I’d find myself standing in front of the mirror, questioning who I was beyond the roles I’d played for so long.

But here’s the kicker: once I started letting go of that pressure, I discovered a whole new world of possibilities. I enrolled in a local writing workshop, something I’d dreamed of doing since I was a teenager scribbling stories in a notebook. I also started reconnecting with old friends, those who I’d lost touch with in the whirlwind of daily life. We’d spend hours reminiscing about the “good old days,” sharing belly laughs and heartfelt confessions. These reunions, though sometimes bittersweet, reaffirmed that life’s richness isn’t measured by a bustling household alone—it’s found in every connection we make along the way.

Finding Joy in the Little Things

Let’s be real—life in the empty nest isn’t all about grand adventures and major epiphanies. Sometimes, the real magic lies in the little things. I’ve come to relish the simple pleasure of a quiet morning, where I can savour a cup of tea without interruptions. I love curling up with a good book, losing myself in stories that transport me to different worlds. And yes, I sometimes find myself talking to my plants (again, no judgment—they’re thriving, thank you very much!).

I even started a quirky little project: a photo journal documenting the evolution of our home now that it’s “empty.” It sounds a bit odd, but there’s something fascinating about watching the subtle changes over time—the way the light shifts in the living room, how the backyard garden blooms in unexpected patterns, and even the way dust bunnies seem to have taken up permanent residence in certain corners. Each photo, each note in the journal, served as a reminder that life is always moving, always transforming, and that there’s beauty in every transition.

The Unexpected Lessons of an Empty Nest

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this whole empty nest escapade, it’s that life has a funny way of surprising you. I used to think that having an empty nest meant I’d be lonely, lost, and perhaps even a bit irrelevant. Instead, I discovered that it was the perfect opportunity to reinvent myself. I got to rediscover passions I’d put on hold, forge new friendships, and even challenge myself in ways I never thought possible.

For instance, I took up cooking classes—something I’d always admired from afar but never dared to try. Now, I’m experimenting with recipes, mixing spices in ways that sometimes end in delightful success and other times in a smoky kitchen full of laughter and apologetic takeout orders. And let me tell you, there’s something incredibly empowering about mastering a dish that you once thought was way beyond your reach. It’s a metaphor, really: if I can conquer a soufflé, I can conquer anything life throws at me.

I also learned that it’s okay to feel a little lost sometimes. We all have our moments of self-doubt, those days when we wonder if we’re still the person we used to be. But here’s the thing: growth isn’t about clinging to who you were; it’s about embracing who you can become. I’m still learning, still growing, and still figuring out how to balance the old me with the new. And that’s perfectly alright.

The Role of Humour in Healing

I’ve always believed that humour is the best medicine, and boy, has it helped me through this transition. There were days when I’d wake up and think, “Well, this is it—empty nest, empty heart.” But then I’d remember the absurdity of it all and burst out laughing. I mean, come on—here I am, a grown woman, giggling at the memory of accidentally calling my neighbour “mom” because I was so lost in thought. It was those small, silly moments that reminded me not to take life too seriously.

I started a little tradition of writing down the most absurd thoughts that popped into my head. One entry read, “If my house could talk, would it whisper secrets or just complain about the dust?” It’s silly, I know, but sometimes you just need to laugh at the randomness of it all. Humour became my daily dose of sanity, a reminder that even in the midst of change, there’s always something to smile about.

Embracing the Future with Open Arms

As I write this, I’m still navigating the ebb and flow of emotions that come with an empty nest. There are days when I miss the noise, the constant activity, and the little quirks that made our home uniquely chaotic. But there are also days when I wake up excited about the endless possibilities that lie ahead. I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions—to honour the past while eagerly stepping into the future.

I’ve started setting new goals for myself, both big and small. Maybe it’s as simple as mastering a new recipe, or as ambitious as planning a long-awaited trip to a place I’ve always dreamed of visiting. I’m also exploring creative outlets like writing, painting, and even dabbling in a bit of gardening therapy. Every new experience, no matter how trivial it might seem, adds a little colour to my life’s canvas.

And you know what? I’m also embracing the idea that it’s okay to change. Our identities are not static; they evolve just like the seasons. I’m learning to accept that the person I was is not the person I have to be forever. I can be a nurturing mother, a passionate hobbyist, a spontaneous traveller, and even a tech-challenged enthusiast all at once. The beauty of it all is that there’s no expiration date on reinvention.

A Heart Full of Gratitude

In the midst of all this change, one thing remains constant: gratitude. I’m incredibly thankful for the time I spent raising my kids—they’re amazing individuals who have taught me more about love, patience, and resilience than I could ever imagine. Their departures, while painful, have also opened up a space for me to reconnect with myself in ways I never thought possible.

Every now and then, when I get a call or a text from one of them, it feels like a warm hug across the miles. They’re busy building their own lives, but our bond remains unbreakable. I cherish the memories of family dinners, impromptu dance-offs in the kitchen, and those quiet, tender moments when I’d catch them sleeping and think, “Wow, I did good.” Those memories are the foundation on which I’m building this new chapter of my life.

The Power of Connection and Community

Another unexpected silver lining of this journey has been the connections I’ve made along the way. As an empty nester, I found myself reaching out to old friends and even forging new ones. I joined a local book club, which not only reawakened my love for literature but also introduced me to a group of diverse, passionate individuals who share similar experiences. We’d spend hours dissecting novels, sharing life stories, and occasionally getting into hilarious debates about whether the book’s protagonist was right or totally off-base.

I even connected with a few other parents going through the same transition. We’d meet for coffee (or sometimes a cheeky glass of wine), swap stories, and laugh over the absurdities of it all. It turns out that while the empty nest might feel like a personal loss, it also opens up a world of shared experiences and mutual support. We commiserate, we celebrate, and most importantly, we remind each other that it’s perfectly normal to feel a little lost sometimes.

When the Silence Speaks Volumes

I’ve come to realize that sometimes, the silence in the empty nest speaks louder than any bustling household ever could. In that quiet, I’ve found the space to really listen—to the whispers of my heart, the lessons of my past, and the dreams I’d tucked away over the years. It’s in that silence that I learned to appreciate the little joys: the rustle of leaves on a breezy afternoon, the gentle hum of a neighbour’s lawnmower (yes, even that becomes oddly comforting), and the quiet moments of introspection that remind me who I truly am.

There have been days when I sit by the window, watching the world go by, and I feel a profound sense of connection to everything around me. I realise that life, in all its unpredictability, is a series of chapters—each one as important as the last. And while the chapter of being a full-time, hands-on parent might be behind me now, the story isn’t over. It’s simply evolving, and that evolution is something to be celebrated.

A Few Lessons Learned Along the Way

So, what have I learned from all this? Here are a few nuggets of wisdom I’d like to share:

  1. Change Is Inevitable: Life is all about transitions. The empty nest may have been a shock, but it’s also a chance to embrace new opportunities. Every ending is just the beginning of something unexpected.
  2. It’s Okay to Feel: Whether you’re overwhelmed with nostalgia, sadness, or even joy, every emotion is valid. Give yourself permission to feel deeply—it’s part of the healing process.
  3. Reinvent Yourself: You’re never too old to try something new. Pick up that hobby you’ve been putting off, sign up for that class, or plan that trip. Reinvention is a lifelong journey, and every step counts.
  4. Stay Connected: Relationships matter, no matter your stage in life. Keep in touch with friends, reach out to your community, and don’t be afraid to lean on others when times get tough.
  5. Find Humour in It All: Laughter truly is the best medicine. Even on the hardest days, a good chuckle can remind you that life isn’t always so serious—sometimes, it’s downright hilarious.

A Day in the Life of an Empty Nester

Let me paint you a picture of what a typical day looks like now—no grand production, just the unfiltered reality of an empty nester navigating life.

I wake up around 7 AM, usually to the sound of birds chirping and my own alarm clock buzzing insistently. The house is quiet—no morning rush, no clatter of breakfast dishes. I slip into my favourite robe (yes, the one with the tiny, faded flowers that have seen better days) and shuffle into the kitchen. I make myself a strong cup of coffee, and for a moment, I just sit there, savouring the calm. It’s a rare treat, a peaceful interlude before the day truly begins.

By 8 AM, I’m usually on my laptop, catching up on emails, scrolling through social media, and sometimes writing a few lines for this blog. I love that I can switch from a deep reflective mood to a burst of creativity within minutes. There are days I find myself writing about something trivial—a funny tweet or a quirky observation about my neighbour’s overzealous dog—but somehow, these little moments become threads in the tapestry of my life.

Late morning often finds me heading out for a walk. I take the scenic route through the neighbourhood, greeting familiar faces and occasionally stopping to admire a particularly well-tended garden or a captivating mural on a side street. There’s something soothing about the routine of these walks; it grounds me, and reminds me that I’m still part of a larger world, even if my house feels a bit emptier.

Around noon, I usually meet up with a friend for lunch at a little café that’s become our regular haunt. Over salads, sandwiches, or an indulgent slice of pie (because, let’s be honest, you deserve a treat now and then), we swap stories about our families, our little triumphs, and our misadventures. It’s these moments of connection that fill the gaps left by the quiet home.

Afternoons can be a mixed bag. Sometimes I spend them engrossed in a painting project—letting my emotions flow onto the canvas in a riot of colours and shapes. Other days, I’m off to volunteer at the community centre, where I help organize activities and events. It’s amazing how giving back can bring a sense of fulfilment that no quiet afternoon at home ever could.

Evenings are my favourite time. I cook dinner, often experimenting with new recipes or whipping up comfort food that reminds me of family gatherings. After dinner, I might curl up with a book or watch an old movie. There are nights when I can’t sleep immediately—my mind buzzing with thoughts and memories—but I’ve learned to embrace that too. I practice a little bedtime meditation, focusing on my breathing until the day’s clamour slowly fades into a peaceful hum.

Reflections on This Journey

Looking back, it’s funny to think about all the times I’d obsess over every little detail when my kids were still at home. I used to worry about whether I was doing enough, whether I was present enough, and whether my life would have any meaning once the nest was empty. Now, I see that those worries were part of the process—stepping stones to a new phase of self-discovery.

It wasn’t an overnight transformation. There were nights of restless sleep, days filled with self-doubt, and moments when I wondered if I’d lost a part of myself. But as time went on, I realized that while one chapter was closing, another was opening—one that was rich with opportunity, growth, and yes, even a bit of mischief.

I learned to celebrate the little victories: a perfectly baked cake that didn’t collapse in the middle, a phone call that left me feeling unexpectedly uplifted, or simply a quiet afternoon spent doing absolutely nothing (and loving every minute of it). I discovered that sometimes, in the silence of an empty nest, you can truly hear the beat of your own heart.

Final Thoughts and a Toast to New Beginnings

So here I am, a woman in her fifties, embracing this new chapter with a mix of nostalgia, gratitude, and a dash of irreverent humour. The empty nest isn’t a void—it’s a space that I now fill with creativity, connection, and the realization that my worth isn’t tied to a bustling household alone. It’s a journey of letting go and, in doing so, finding parts of myself that had been quietly waiting for their moment to shine.

If you’re reading this and you’re in the midst of a similar transition, know that it’s okay to feel all the feels. There will be days when you miss the chaos, days when the silence seems too loud, and days when you question if you’re moving in the right direction. But there will also be days filled with unexpected joy, creative bursts, and connections that remind you that life is a never-ending adventure.

As I raise my mug of chamomile tea (or sometimes a cheeky glass of wine—no judgment here 🍷) to the empty nest, I’m filled with hope. Hope that every ending is just a new beginning in disguise, hope that I’ll continue to learn and grow, and hope that, somewhere along the way, I’ll inspire someone else to see the beauty in change.

To all the empty nesters out there: here’s to rediscovering yourself, to embracing every awkward, wonderful moment, and to knowing that you’re never truly alone. Whether you’re dancing in your kitchen to an ’80s hit, exploring a new hobby, or simply sitting in silence with your thoughts, remember that this chapter is yours to write. And I, for one, can’t wait to see what comes next.

Thanks for sticking with me through this long, winding tale of transformation. I hope you found a little bit of solace, a chuckle, or even just a moment of reflection in my ramblings. Life is messy, unpredictable, and beautifully imperfect—just like a canvas splattered with every shade of emotion.

Until next time, keep laughing, keep loving, and most importantly, keep embracing the journey—one quirky, unpredictable, empty-nest day at a time.

Cheers,
Diane.”

Written by one of my iNFINITE iMPACT Mentoring Program clients.

P.S. If you ever feel like sharing your own story or need someone to commiserate with, send an email to OpenLockedDoors@gmail.com, to find out more about iNFINITE iMPACT. We’re all in this together, and sometimes the best remedy for an empty nest is a conversation with a good listener.

20 Unconventional Ways to Experience Bordeaux

Bordeaux La Bourse alternative tourism

The Rise of Alternative Tourism

Introduction

My Camino de Santiago walking retreat guests often ask me if it is worth visiting Bordeaux before or after their retreat. “Of course it is,” I answer, with unshakeable conviction, “Have a look at my 10 Must-do’s while in Bordeaux-page if you need to convince yourself.”

Sometimes they reply, “But I’ve been there several times already, I’ve seen and done everything!”

“No, you haven’t,” I reply. “I bet I can name at least 20 things/places that you haven’t done or seen yet.”

“Name them!”

So I did, and I published my list in this blog post.

As you may know, most people go to Bordeaux for the wine tours and magnificent architecture (which are absolutely fantastic, don’t get me wrong!) As someone who’s passionate about alternative tourism, I’ve pulled together a collection of unique experiences that’ll show you a completely different side of Bordeaux.

Think secret underground caves, dawn fishing trips with locals, and rooftop beekeeping – the kind of stuff that’ll make your friends say “Wait, you did what in Bordeaux?” These aren’t your typical tourist activities, and that’s exactly what makes them special. Some are easy to book, while others might need a bit of long-in-advance planning and local connection-making, but I promise they’re worth the effort.

I’ve included both organised activities you can easily sign up for and some more adventurous options that’ll require both research and creative planning. The goal here is to help you create memories that go beyond the standard tourist photos (though you’ll definitely get some amazing shots along the way!)

Ready to discover a different side of Bordeaux?

Here are 20 unique ways to experience Bordeaux beyond the typical wine tours and magnificent city centre:

  1. Take a street art tour through the Bassins à Flot district, where massive murals transform former industrial buildings into an open-air gallery. Don’t miss the submarine base turned cultural center Bassin des Lumières with its striking installations.
  2. Join local foragers hunting for edible plants in the Parc aux Angéliques, learning about traditional Bordelais wild herbs and their culinary uses. End with a picnic of your findings.
  3. Explore the underground quarries in Lormont, where limestone was extracted to build Bordeaux’s historic buildings. These eerily beautiful caves offer a completely different perspective on the city’s architecture.
  4. Visit the “Water Mirror” at sunrise when local tai chi practitioners gather, creating a mesmerizing scene of silhouettes against the world’s largest reflecting pool.
  5. Take a kayak trip through the Port of the Moon at night, paddling under illuminated bridges while learning about the city’s maritime history from your local guide. Kayak trips can be booked through Bordeaux Canoë or Les Kayakistes de Bordeaux.
  6. Participate in a canelé-making workshop in a historic bakery, learning the secrets behind these iconic rum-and-vanilla pastries that few tourists ever master. Canelé workshops are offered by several cooking schools – La Table de Cana and L’atelier des Chefs are good starting points.
  7. Join the “Trotinette” (electric scooter) night tours through empty streets, experiencing famous monuments without the daytime crowds. Electric scooter tours are available through companies like Bordeaux by Bike or BordeauxE.
  8. Visit the Darwin Ecosystem, an alternative community in former military barracks, featuring urban agriculture, skateparks, and the largest organic restaurant in France. Visits can be booked directly through their website (darwin.camp)
  9. Take a bike tour of Bordeaux’s hidden courtyards, accessing private spaces normally closed to the public through special arrangements with local residents.
  10. Join a local fishing community for early morning lamprey fishing on the Garonne River, learning about this ancient local delicacy still prized in Bordelais cuisine.
  11. Experience a sound bath meditation session in Saint-Michel Basilica‘s bell tower, combining medieval architecture with modern wellness practices – check their calendar or contact them directly.
  12. Participate in a “photos vs sketches” challenge, where you team up with local artists to capture the same scenes through different mediums.
  13. Join the “marché des capucins” before dawn to help vendors set up their stalls, earning your breakfast through authentic local interaction.
  14. Take a sustainable fashion tour through Le Chartrons district, visiting upcycling workshops and vintage stores housed in 18th-century wine warehouses.
  15. Participate in a grapevine adoption program in a small family vineyard, receiving updates and wine throughout the year from “your” vines. Grapevine adoption programs are offered by several small vineyards around Bordeaux – search for “parrainage de vignes Bordeaux.”
  16. Join local urban beekeepers maintaining hives on city rooftops, learning about honey production while enjoying spectacular views. For urban beekeeping experiences, contact “Les Ruchers Bordelais.”
  17. Take part in a “ghost sign” photography workshop, hunting for and documenting faded vintage advertisements on old building facades.
  18. Experience a “blind wine tasting” dinner in complete darkness at a former wine cellar, guided by visually impaired sommeliers.
  19. Join a botanical art class in the Jardin Public, learning to create prints using local plants and traditional techniques.
  20. Participate in a historical reenactment of 18th-century merchant life at Place de la Bourse, complete with period costumes and trading scenarios.

To book any of these activities, the Bordeaux Tourist Office (bordeaux-tourism.co.uk) is a great first point of contact – they can often connect you with local guides and organisations.

At the time I published this post, these activities were available, although some obviously are seasonal. I cannot guarantee that they will be available indefinitely.

I chose the items on my list to reflect my interest in alternative tourism. Not just ecotourism and the preservation of our natural habitat, but specifically an alternative way to visit cities like Bordeaux in more meaningful ways.

Apart from Ecotourism, what is Alternative Tourism?

Alternative tourism is a response to the negative impacts of mass tourism, offering a more sustainable, responsible, and authentic travel experience that values environmental preservation and local culture maintenance. It is also referred to as responsible travel, ethical tourism, or anti-tourism.

Key Aspects of Alternative Tourism:

  • Focus on Sustainability Alternative tourism emphasises both environmental and cultural sustainability, aiming to minimise negative impacts.
  • Unique Experiences It seeks to provide tourists with deeper and more meaningful experiences, moving away from conventional itineraries.
  • Community Involvement Alternative tourism often involves local inhabitants, ensuring they directly benefit from these tourism activities.
  • Respect for Local Values It respects the values of local people, fostering encounters and exchanges that initiate worthwhile interchanges.

Types of Alternative Tourism:

  • Ecotourism Focuses on sustainably visiting natural areas, emphasizing environmental conservation and education.
  • Rural Tourism Involves visiting rural areas to experience countryside life and participate in agricultural activities, helping revitalise local economies and preserve rural traditions.
  • Cultural Tourism Centers on exploring local cultures through visits to historical sites, museums, and cultural events, promoting the preservation of cultural heritage.
  • Community Tourism Is managed by local communities, allowing them to directly control and benefit from tourism activities, promoting community autonomy and sustainable development.

Why would you want to explore Bordeaux alternatively?

Deeper Cultural Understanding
When you engage with locals through activities like dawn market setups or fishing trips, you experience the city’s authentic daily rhythms and traditions. You’re not just observing the culture, you’re participating in it. This gives you insights into how people actually live in Bordeaux, rather than just seeing the polished tourist version.

Unique Personal Stories
Think about it – while classic photos of the Place de la Bourse are beautiful, imagine telling friends about the time you helped harvest honey from city rooftops, or learned ancient pastry secrets from a local baker. These experiences create more memorable and meaningful stories that stand out from typical tourist narratives.

Avoiding Overtourism
Popular sites like Saint-André Cathedral and the Cité du Vin can get incredibly crowded, especially during peak season. By seeking out alternative experiences, you not only avoid the crowds but also help distribute tourism’s impact more evenly across the city.

Local Economic Support
When you participate in smaller, locally-run activities like urban farming at Darwin or artisan workshops, you’re often supporting small businesses and community initiatives rather than large tourist operations. This helps preserve the city’s authentic character and supports local innovation.

Personal Growth
Stepping out of the standard tourist routine often pushes you slightly out of your comfort zone. Whether it’s joining a French tai chi session at dawn or exploring underground quarries, these experiences can be more challenging but ultimately more rewarding than following a standard guidebook itinerary.

Discovering Current Culture
While Bordeaux’s historical sites are impressive, alternative tourism lets you experience the city’s contemporary culture – its street art, sustainability initiatives, creative communities, and modern interpretations of traditions. This shows you how Bordeaux lives and breathes today, not just how it looked centuries ago.

How would Bordeaux benefit if you explored the city alternatively?

Alternative tourism offers several significant benefits to local communities, focusing on sustainable development and meaningful experiences. The main benefits include:

  1. Economic Growth and Job Creation: Alternative tourism stimulates local economies by creating diverse employment opportunities in various sectors such as hospitality, tour operations, and local artisanship, which keeps the city alive.
  2. Cultural Preservation and Exchange: By promoting interest in local traditions, customs, and historical sites, alternative tourism encourages the preservation of the city’s cultural heritage. It also facilitates cultural exchange between visitors and locals, promoting mutual understanding and breaking down stereotypes.
  3. Environmental Conservation: Alternative tourism, particularly ecotourism, supports conservation efforts by raising awareness about environmental issues and encouraging sustainable practices.
  4. Community Development and Infrastructure Improvement: Revenue generated from alternative tourism can be reinvested in local infrastructure, including transportation networks. This improves the quality of life for residents while enhancing visitor experiences.
  5. Promotion of Entrepreneurship: The tourism industry encourages small businesses and local entrepreneurship, allowing us to create unique services and products. This diversifies the local economy and promotes self-sufficiency.

Alternative tourism models can create a positive impact on local communities while providing authentic and meaningful experiences for travellers.

Final Thoughts

While Bordeaux’s renowned wines and UNESCO-listed architecture will always be spectacular draws, these alternative experiences offer something truly special – a chance to weave yourself into the city’s living, breathing present rather than just admiring its tapestried past. Whether you’re harvesting honey above the rooftops, paddling through the Port of the Moon under starlight, or learning centuries-old recipes in historic bakeries, you’ll connect with the real Bordeaux and its people in ways that most visitors never do.

Remember, some of these experiences might require advance planning, a dash of French language skills, or a willingness to step outside your comfort zone. But that’s often where the magic happens, right? The most memorable travel stories rarely come from following the typical tourist trail.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to local organisations, use the tourist office as a resource, or simply start conversations with Bordelais who share your interests. You might just find that these unconventional adventures become the highlights of your trip, giving you not just photos and memories, but real connections and a deeper understanding of this magnificent city.

So go ahead – dare to explore Bordeaux differently. The city’s hidden side is waiting for those curious enough to seek it out.

This quiz is not just about measuring where you are right now; it’s about shining a light on the areas of your life that feel meaningful, as well as those that might need attention. It’s an opportunity to reflect, recalibrate, and take steps toward a life that’s not only successful but profoundly fulfilling and meaningful. Take The Quiz

“I am an experienced medical doctor (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert) with a special interest in stress management. I may have an impressive number of letters after my name, and I may have more than three decades of professional experience, but what qualifies me to excel at what I do is my intuitive understanding of my clients’ difficulties and my extensive personal experience of managing major life changes using strategies I developed over many years” Dr M Montagu – iNFINITE iMPACT

The Valentine’s Day Litmus Test: Signs of a Supportive and Lasting Relationship

Beyond Romance: 12 Qualities of a Loving, Lasting Relationship

If you are struggling through a major life change due to a relationship ending, you are probably viewing the approach of Valentine’s Day with trepidation. The 14th of February is just around the corner, and social media is buzzing with posts about love—though not all of them are celebratory. Every year, the holiday seems to split people into two groups: those eagerly awaiting the day with their significant other and those who already know their partner will either forget or purposely ignore it. The latter group often vents their disappointment, frustration, and resentment online, at length and in detail.

Interestingly, hidden among the rants, you may discover a few rare comments from people who declare that their partner does make them feel special on Valentine’s Day. Some even insist that that their partner appreciates them every day, and that Valentine’s Day is just a natural extension of the love they already share. It’s easy to dismiss these people as the “lucky few” or, worse, as deluded romantics, but the reality is, some relationships truly do work well.

For anyone yearning for a love that feels fulfilling, supportive, and real, there’s encouraging news: it’s entirely possible to find someone who will love you the way you want to be loved. The key lies in recognising what a healthy, balanced relationship looks like and knowing how to contribute to it.

How to Recognise the Right Partner

A partner who genuinely cares about you will show it in both big and small ways. Here are the qualities that typically mark a relationship where love is consistent, respectful, and deep:

  1. Pride in Being with You
    A good partner is proud of who you are and is supportive of what you’ve achieved. They don’t just tolerate your successes—they celebrate them. This is someone who introduces you to friends or family with excitement and is happy to showcase the relationship they share with you. They’re not just proud to be in a relationship; they’re proud of you as an individual.
  2. Trust and Dependability
    Trust is foundational in any lasting relationship. A partner who trusts you will give you the freedom to be yourself without the need to control or monitor you. They trust your decisions and know they can rely on you just as you can rely on them.
  3. Support and Defense
    A good partner will stand up for you when it counts. Whether in the face of criticism or during challenging situations, they are there to defend you and show their support. This isn’t about blind loyalty; it’s about being your ally when it matters most.
  4. Gratitude and Appreciation
    A strong relationship is grounded in gratitude. A loving partner doesn’t take you for granted. They show genuine appreciation for what you bring to their life, acknowledging both the small gestures and the larger contributions you make.
  5. Respect for Your Individuality
    Respect is essential. A partner who values you respects not only your thoughts and feelings but also your aspirations and dreams. They encourage you to pursue what makes you happy and don’t try to mold you into someone you’re not.
  6. Forgiveness and Compassion
    Everyone makes mistakes, and an understanding partner will forgive your imperfections rather than hold grudges. They acknowledge that nobody is perfect and are willing to work through issues with empathy.
  7. Honesty
    A committed partner values honesty. They are open with you about their feelings and communicate transparently. Trust is built on honesty, and a trustworthy partner is upfront with you, even when conversations might be difficult.
  8. Commitment to Making It Work
    Relationships aren’t self-sustaining; they require work. A partner who truly values the relationship is willing to put in the effort. They are committed to growing together, tackling issues, and nurturing the connection between you.
  9. Attentive Listening
    A caring partner listens to you—not just the words but the underlying emotions. When you talk, they make you feel heard and valued, and they are present in the moment, giving you their full attention.
  10. Unconditional Love
    Perhaps the ultimate mark of a loving partner is someone who loves you unconditionally. They see your flaws, but they don’t let those define you. This isn’t about overlooking problematic behavior, but about embracing you as a whole person.

How to Maintain a strong, healthy Relationship

While finding a partner with these qualities is ideal, creating and maintaining a balanced relationship requires both people to contribute actively and equally. Here are the qualities you should work on within yourself if you want to maintain a strong, healthy partnership:

  1. Self-Love and Self-Respect
    To truly respect your partner, you need to start with respect for yourself. Self-love is essential because it enables you to set healthy boundaries, communicate honestly, and bring positivity to the relationship.
  2. Strong Communication Skills
    Good communication is the backbone of a successful relationship. Practice active listening, learn to express yourself clearly, and be open to discussing difficult topics. Working on these skills together can only strengthen the bond you share.
  3. Acceptance of Constructive Criticism
    Constructive criticism is part of personal growth. Accepting it gracefully—and offering it kindly when necessary—ensures that both partners are evolving together. It’s essential to avoid criticism that feels controlling or judgmental.
  4. Avoiding Control and Embracing Freedom
    Relationships thrive when both people feel free to be themselves. Avoid behaviours that feel controlling, and encourage your partner’s independence. A successful relationship is built on mutual respect, not control.
  5. Respecting Boundaries
    Respect each other’s limits, both emotionally and physically. Healthy boundaries are vital for preserving individuality and ensuring that both partners feel safe. Respecting boundaries fosters trust and demonstrates a commitment to personal well-being.
  6. Balanced Compromise
    Compromise is key, but it should be balanced and fair. Each partner should be willing to give a little to accommodate the other’s needs, but this shouldn’t lead to one person consistently sacrificing more.
  7. Forgiving and Letting Go
    Holding onto past grievances can erode a relationship over time. Practice forgiveness, and move forward when issues have been resolved. Remember that mistakes are a part of growth, and forgiveness helps build resilience.
  8. Appreciation and Acceptance
    Appreciate your partner for who they are, not just for the roles they play or the things they do for you. Celebrate their uniqueness and don’t attempt to change their personality or passions to suit your preferences.
  9. Loyalty and Support
    True loyalty means being there for your partner through thick and thin. Show up for them in their times of need, offer a steady source of support, and reassure them that you’re their teammate in life’s journey.
  10. Realistic Expectations
    No relationship is without its flaws. Don’t expect a fairy-tale romance, nor hold your partner to an impossible standard. Instead, accept that there will be ups and downs and are prepared to work through them together.

The Balance of Give and Take

These qualities are neither exclusive nor exhaustive. The reason for separating these lists is to illustrate that, in a healthy relationship, both partners contribute equally. As motivational speaker Tony Robbins has pointed out, many people enter relationships looking to get something from their partner. But lasting love comes when both people focus on what they can give to each other.

A relationship isn’t a one-way street; it’s a shared space that requires both people to bring their best selves. The effort to make things work must be mutual. If one partner is giving while the other simply takes, an imbalance emerges that can ultimately lead to resentment, dissatisfaction, and even the end of the relationship.

When It’s Time to Move On

Of course, sometimes one person ends up doing most of the work in a relationship, and despite all efforts, the partner remains unresponsive or unwilling to contribute. If you find yourself in this situation, repeatedly trying to engage your partner in meaningful communication or asking them to share the responsibilities, it may be time to reassess the relationship.

I always find getting doubts out of my head and onto paper helps me to see the wood for the trees, so I’ve added 5 writing prompts to help you get clarity as it’s not always easy to know where to start:

1. Reflect on Your Emotional Health

Prompt: “How does my relationship make me feel on a daily basis? Do I feel supported, valued, and safe, or do I experience feelings of stress, sadness, or neglect more often? Describe specific instances that come to mind and the emotions they bring up.”

This prompt helps you gauge whether your relationship brings you more positive or negative feelings and explore any patterns that may reveal deeper issues.

2. Assess Reciprocity in the Relationship

Prompt: “In what ways do I feel that my partner and I contribute to our relationship? Do I feel that my needs and efforts are equally valued and reciprocated, or do I often feel like I am giving more than I am receiving? How does this balance impact my happiness?”

Use this prompt to examine the balance of effort, appreciation, and contribution within the relationship, clarifying whether the give-and-take feels fair.

3. Explore Personal Growth and Fulfillment

Prompt: “Does this relationship support my personal growth and goals, or do I feel limited, controlled, or unmotivated because of it? What changes in my life and my well-being might I imagine if I left this relationship?”

Reflecting on this helps you see whether the relationship empowers you to thrive and grow or feels like it holds you back from reaching your potential.

4. Examine Conflict and Resolution

Prompt: “How do my partner and I handle conflicts? Are we able to resolve issues constructively and respectfully, or do I feel misunderstood, dismissed, or even fearful during disagreements? How does this impact my overall feeling about our relationship?”

This prompt gives you space to consider how well conflicts are managed and whether the relationship has a safe and respectful foundation.

5. Visualise Your Ideal Relationship

Prompt: “What qualities do I envision in a relationship that would make me feel genuinely happy and fulfilled? How does my current relationship compare to this vision? What specific changes would need to happen to align more closely with my ideal relationship, and are those changes realistic?”

This final prompt encourages you to clearly define what you want from a relationship and assess if the current one aligns with or falls short of your vision.

By engaging with these prompts, you can gain insight into your emotional needs, relationship dynamics, and whether your current partnership is serving your well-being and growth.

It can be hard to let go of a relationship, especially if there’s been a significant emotional investment, but a partnership that leaves you feeling unappreciated and drained is not fulfilling. Life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t actively care for or respect you.

Final Thoughts

Creating a workable, healthy relationship is not easy. It takes consistent effort, self-awareness, and a genuine commitment from both partners. But when two people are willing to work together, respect each other’s individuality, and support one another through life’s challenges, a truly loving and fulfilling relationship is possible.

So, if you’re spending this Valentine’s Day reflecting on a relationship that’s run its course and you are yearning for one that’s mutually fulfilling, remember that the love you desire is achievable. It starts with mutual respect, self-love, and a shared willingness to contribute equally to a partnership. With these foundational principles, love can thrive in a way that’s resilient, joyous, and deeply satisfying.

Creating a workable relationship is not easy, but it is definitely worth it.

And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive Friesian and Falabella horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a From Troubled to Triumphant transformational retreat to reinvent yourself, rewrite your story and start your sensational next chapter.

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert)

The Wild Swimming Renaissance and Its Connection to the Camino

A young woman wild swimming in a lake


What long-distance walking and open-water swimming have in common – a journey through history, health, and the healing power of open water.

#whisperingwoods #wildwater

Introduction

“The first time I waded into an icy lake for a wild swim, I laughed. In a strangled, tortured sort of way. My body froze, my breath came in gasps, and for a moment, I questioned every life choice that had led me to this mind-numbing moment. And then—something magical happened. My skin tingled, my senses sharpened, and a wave of exhilaration swept over me. By the time I emerged, dripping and grinning like a fool, I was hooked.” Solange G. – the reason why I added wild swimming to my Camino de Santiago walking retreats.

There are few joys in life as simple—or as utterly perfect—as slipping into a cool, clear lake after hours, no, make that days, of walking the Camino de Santiago in the southwest of France. The moment your body meets the water, the heat of the day dissolves, the dust and sweat swirl away, and suddenly, you feel lighter, freer, completely alive. No ear-shattering noise, no chlorine, no crowds—just you, the water and the woods. That’s the magic of wild swimming.

In the summer, the water here is never as cold as when Solange got her first taste of wild swimming, but the experience is no less exhilarating.

This is wild swimming: the simple, glorious act of swimming in natural bodies of water—rivers, lakes, seas, waterfalls, hidden rock pools in the hearts of ancient forests. It’s been around for as long as we have needed to cool off, but in recent decades, it has experienced a surprising resurgence. Once pushed aside by heated pools and chlorine-scented leisure centers, outdoor swimming is back in fashion, fueled by a longing for adventure, a need to reconnect with nature, and perhaps, a touch of rebellion against our modern comforts.

Wild swimming -not just as a refreshing pastime—has become an integral part of my 7-day Camino de Santiago walking retreats. Blending the rhythmic meditative pace of long walks with the shock and invigoration of cold water immersion, it creates an experience that is both grounding and electrifying. But before we dive into all that (pun intended), let’s explore why wild swimming almost disappeared in the first place—and what brought it back to life.

The Ripple Effect: Why Wild Swimming is So Good for You

There’s something about slipping into a still, ripplesless lake that feels instantly restorative. Maybe it’s the way your muscles melt, or how the water seems to wash away more than just dust. But beyond the sheer pleasure of it, wild swimming is packed with benefits—physical, mental, and even spiritual.

Body Boost: Circulation, Immunity, and Heart Health

Whether you’re slicing through the ocean, floating in a lake, or wading into a slow-moving river, wild swimming gives your body a workout without feeling like one. The gentle resistance of the water engages muscles you didn’t even know you had. It’s great for your heart too, encouraging better circulation and increasing your cardiovascular fitness. And if you happen to take the occasional cold-water dip, studies suggest it can boost your immune system, helping your body build resilience to stress and illness. In other words, wild swimming doesn’t just make you feel good—it helps keep you healthy.

Mood and Movement: Instant Stress Relief

Ever noticed how a swim can turn a bad mood around in minutes? There’s science behind that. Moving in water releases endorphins—the body’s natural feel-good chemicals—while also reducing levels of cortisol, the hormone involved in the stress response. The result? A calmer mind, a lighter mood, and a sense of contentment that lingers long after you’ve dried off. Many swimmers even describe a feeling of euphoria after a dip, a kind of natural high that comes from the combination of movement, nature, and sheer exhilaration.

A Moment of Stillness: The Mindfulness of Water

Beyond the physical and mental perks, wild swimming offers something deeper: presence. The moment you step into a river or lake, the world shrinks down to the feeling of water on your skin, the sound of ripples, the rhythm of your breath. It’s meditation without the need to sit still. Whether you’re floating on your back, watching clouds drift by, or swimming with the current, wild swimming pulls you into the present moment, creating a sense of deep connection—not just with nature, but with yourself.

Exclusive Bragging Rights

Let’s be honest—there’s also a certain thrill in being able to say, “Oh, I just took a quick swim in a mountain lake” There’s an undeniable sense of adventure in embracing the elements, and wild swimming carries with it a spirit of spontaneity. Whether you’re diving into a secret cove or simply taking a post-hike plunge, it’s a moment that sticks with you—and makes for a great story later.

So, wild swimming isn’t just refreshing—it’s revitalising. It strengthens the body, clears the mind, soothes the spirit, and gives extra sparkle to your adventure.

Why Wild Swimming Almost Disappeared in the 20th Century

Believe it or not, there was a time when wild swimming was the way everyone swam. Before heated pools and chlorine-scented leisure centers took over, people cooled off in rivers, ponds, and the sea without a second thought. But somewhere along the way, society took a deep breath—and collectively decided that swimming outdoors was far too risky.

Factories, Filth, and the Fear of Open Water

The 20th century saw rapid industrialisation, and with it came pollution—rivers once clear enough to swim in became murky, chemical-laden no-go zones. Cities expanded, and access to clean, swimmable water dwindled. Where once people bathed in pristine lakes and rolling waves, now they were confronted with warning signs: No Bathing. No Swimming. No Surfing.

At the same time, the rise of municipal swimming pools changed the game. With their sterile, temperature-controlled waters and strict lane etiquette, pools offered a “safe” alternative to the unpredictability of wild swimming. Chlorine became the scent of childhood summers, and swimming became less about joyfully launching yourself into a lake and more about perfecting your backstroke under fluorescent lights.

The Sun Paradox: From Healthy Glow to Health Scare

Not that long ago (when we were teenagers, Gen Xers) a deep summer tan was a badge of honour, proof that you’d spent long days outdoors, in or by the water. But as the 20th century wore on, the approach to sun exposure shifted dramatically. By the 1980s and 90s, health campaigns warning of skin cancer, UV damage, and premature ageing were everywhere. Sunscreen became essential, midday swims were discouraged, and the idea of relaxing by a lake all afternoon lost some of its carefree appeal. Wild swimming, once synonymous with freedom and vitality, became tangled up with concerns about sun safety. Better, some thought, to stick to an indoor pool—safe from both polluted water and harmful rays.

Over-Regulation and Risk-Avoidance

As society became more risk-averse, wild swimming got labeled as dangerous, reckless—something only the foolish or the fearless attempted. Parents were warned about deep water, strong currents, and unseen hazards. Bureaucracy followed, and soon, designated swimming areas came with fences, lifeguards, and strict rules. The spontaneity of it all—the joy of just stripping down and plunging in—was lost under layers of red tape.

And let’s not forget the swimwear situation. By the mid-century, swimming had become a highly structured, tightly regulated activity, complete with enforced swim caps, strict attire codes, and Speedos that left little to the imagination (for the Gen Xers out there, remember budgie smugglers?!) Gone were the days of carefree dips in whatever you happened to be wearing (or not wearing).

By the late 20th century, wild swimming had all but vanished from mainstream culture, dismissed as a quaint relic of the past—something that belonged in sepia-toned photographs, not over-regulated modern life. But, as with all great things, it was only a matter of time before people started to miss it.

The Wild Swimming Revival

Like a long-lost love affair rekindled, wild swimming has made an impressive comeback. These days, you can barely scroll through social media without seeing someone gleefully plunging into a misty lake at dawn, captioned with something like “Best way to start the day!” (usually followed by a declaration of how cold it was). But this revival isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about reclaiming something raw, real, and deeply human.

A Literary Awakening: The Books That Sparked the Movement

If one person can be credited with lighting the first spark, it’s Roger Deakin. His 1999 book Waterlog chronicled his journey swimming through Britain’s rivers, lakes, and hidden pools, weaving together history, philosophy, and a deep love of the water. It was a love letter to wild swimming, and it resonated. Soon, others followed—Kate Rew’s Wild Swim turned curiosity into action, inspiring a new generation to seek out secluded swimming spots and reclaim the freedom of outdoor waters.

The Instagram Effect: The Allure of the Wild Dip

Let’s be honest—wild swimming looks incredible. A mirror-like lake at sunrise, a lone figure diving into a waterfall, a post-swim glow on a windswept beach—these images are irresistible. Social media has played a huge role in the movement, turning what was once seen as eccentric into something aspirational. The more people posted their swims, the more others were inspired to try it for themselves. And soon, what was once a niche pursuit became a mainstream passion.

Wellness, Resilience, and the Power of Wild Wate

Wild swimming’s resurgence isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s deeply tied to modern wellness culture. Studies now show what swimmers have long known: outdoor swimming reduces stress, builds resilience, and boosts mental well-being. Cold water, in particular, has been linked to increased dopamine levels, improved circulation, and a sense of euphoria that lasts long after you’ve towelled off.

A key figure in this movement is Wim Hof, the Dutch adventurer known as The Iceman, who has championed the benefits of cold-water immersion for years. His breathing techniques and endurance feats—like swimming under Arctic ice and running marathons barefoot in the snow—have turned him into a wellness guru. Hof’s methods have inspired countless people to embrace the cold, not just for the thrill of it, but for its profound effects on the body and mind. His philosophy? The cold isn’t something to fear—it’s something to befriend.

As life gets busier, more digital, and increasingly disconnected from nature, people are seeking ways to feel something real again. And what better way than plunging into a freezing-cold river? It’s a literal shock to the system, a reset button for body and mind.

The Slow Movement: Trading Comfort for Connection

Beyond the health benefits, wild swimming fits perfectly into the growing slow adventure movement—the idea that true fulfillment comes not from high-speed thrills but from deep, immersive experiences. Instead of chasing artificial excitement, people are rediscovering the quiet power of nature: a long walk, a wild swim, a moment of stillness. It’s about stepping outside the predictable and into something unknown, something a little untamed.

And so, after decades of neglect, wild swimming is back—stronger, wilder, and more irresistible than ever.

The Camino Connection: Why I Added Wild Swimming into My 7-day Retreats

Walking the Camino is an experience that unfolds step by step, mile by mile. It’s a journey of endurance, reflection, and surrendering to the rhythm of the road. Much like forest bathing, wild swimming is the perfect companion for Camino walking-both require you to embrace the unknown, trust your body, and let go of control. It’s no surprise, then, that swimming has become a key part of my Camino retreats.

Taking the Plunge: A Lesson in Letting Go

There’s something transformative about stepping into wild water, just as there is about setting off on a long walk. In both, there’s a moment of hesitation—the mind chattering, full of doubts—but then you take that first step, and suddenly, you’re in. Whether it’s wading into a river or walking into a vast lake, the reward is the same: the sheer joy of being fully present in the moment.

For many of my retreat guests, wild swimming is as much a leap of faith as the Camino itself. Some arrive sceptical, convinced the water will be too cold or the idea too wild. But once they take the plunge, they emerge beaming, their tired legs refreshed, their spirits lifted. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the best moments happen just beyond our comfort zones.

Water as Medicine: Healing the Body and Mind

Anyone who has walked long distances knows the toll it takes on the body—aching feet, stiff muscles, the slow-burning fatigue of covering miles on end. There’s no better remedy than slipping into cool water. The natural buoyancy soothes sore joints, the gentle pressure eases inflammation, and within minutes, the exhaustion of the day dissolves.

But the magic of wild swimming isn’t just physical. Like walking, it quiets the mind. The Camino is often called “the way of the soul,” a time for reflection and renewal, and there’s something deeply symbolic about immersion in water—washing away the past, embracing the present, stepping forward with a fresh perspective.

Unforgettable Swims: Moments That Stay With You

Over the years, I’ve witnessed some truly magical wild swimming moments. There was the early morning dip in a misty mountain lake, where the water was so still it felt like swimming through silk. The spontaneous plunge into a hidden river pool, laughter echoing against the rocks. The sunset swim after a long, hot day—where weary walkers floated, weightless, watching the sky turn gold and pink.

These moments aren’t just about cooling off—they become some of the most cherished memories of the journey. Because wild swimming, like the Camino itself, isn’t just an activity. It’s an experience. A feeling. A way of reconnecting with nature.

Conclusion: Come on In, the Waters Fine!

This recent revival of wild swimming reflects a combination of health-conscious trends, environmental awareness, and a desire for more natural and authentic experiences in an increasingly digital world.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, public swimming pools were closed, and travel restrictions led people to explore local outdoor swimming opportunities. The fact that wild swimming does not require expensive equipment or memberships, makes it accessible to people of all ages and backgrounds and the implementation of the EU Water Directive has significantly improved water quality in many areas, contributing further to the wild swimming revival.

Most importantly, it raises awareness about the importance of preserving natural habitats and protecting water sources.

Wild swimming has a way of surprising you. What starts as a simple dip often turns into something more—a rush of joy, a sense of clarity, a reminder that the best things in life are often the simplest.

Please keep in mind: There are a number of physiological responses that occur when you get into cold water; these include the cold shock response which occurs whe you first step in. This is known to cause problems for some people with underlying health conditions, particularly some with serious heart conditions. Check with your doctor before you try it.

Addendum

If you’re interested in the 2 books I’ve mentioned and you want to read one or both in preparation for your retreat, I’d recommend Deakin’s book, but I’m adding a summary below so you can decide for yourself:

Both “Waterlog” by Roger Deakin and “Wild Swim” by Kate Rew played significant roles in popularizing wild swimming in the 21st century, contributing to its resurgence as a recreational activity and cultural phenomenon.

Waterlog: A Pioneering Influence

Roger Deakin’s “Waterlog: A Swimmer’s Journey Through Britain,” published in 1999, is widely regarded as a seminal work that helped revive interest in wild swimming. It chronicles Deakin’s experiences swimming through Britain’s rivers, lakes, and seas, offering a unique perspective on the country’s waterways. The book inspired readers to explore natural water bodies and reconnect with nature through swimming.

Wild Swim: Expanding the Movement

Kate Rew’s “Wild Swim,” published in 2008, built upon the foundation laid by “Waterlog” and further popularized the activity by providing practical guidance and inspiration for those interested in wild swimming. It helped make wild swimming accessible to a broader audience by offering information on locations and techniques.

Impact on Wild Swimming Culture

These books contributed to the wild swimming movement in several ways:

  • Raised awareness: They introduced the concept of wild swimming to a wider readership, sparking curiosity and interest.
  • Provided inspiration: The authors’ experiences and descriptions encouraged readers to try wild swimming themselves.
  • Created a community: The books helped foster a sense of community among wild swimming enthusiasts, leading to the formation of groups and online forums.
  • Shifted perceptions: They presented wild swimming as a meaningful and enriching activity, challenging the dominance of indoor pool swimming.
  • Environmental awareness: The books highlighted the importance of preserving natural water bodies, contributing to increased environmental consciousness.

By the time these books were published, wild swimming had already begun to experience a resurgence. However, “Waterlog” and “Wild Swim” played crucial roles in accelerating this trend and shaping the modern wild swimming culture. Their influence continues to be felt in the growing popularity of the activity and the way it is perceived as a re-connection to nature.

The Currency of Connection: Why Your Network, Not Your Net Worth, Determines Your Future Happiness

Social Wealth and the Value of a Strong Support System

Introduction

Imagine this: You wake up in a gorgeous home, sunlight streaming through floor-to-ceiling windows. Your bank account is thriving, your investments are secure, and you’ve achieved the financial success you once dreamed of. But as you sip your favourite “extra-corsé” morning coffee, you realise—there’s no one to invite to a spontaneous brunch, no friend to call for advice, no familiar laugh waiting on the other end of the line. Would all that wealth and security still feel as satisfying?

We often chase financial security as the ultimate safety net, believing that once we “make it,” happiness will naturally follow. But life has a way of proving otherwise. When facing a job loss, a major move, a health scare, or even just a tough Tuesday, it’s not our net worth that sees us through—it’s our network. The strength of our relationships, the depth of our friendships, and the presence of a solid support system determine our true well-being.

This article explores why social wealth—our connections, friendships, and sense of belonging—matters far more than financial wealth in shaping a fulfilling life. We’ll dive into the science of happiness, the long-term impact of meaningful relationships, and, most importantly, how you can intentionally build a network that enriches your well-being. Because in the grand equation of life, it turns out the richest people aren’t just those with loads of money—they’re the ones with strong, lasting connections.

The Myth of Money as the Ultimate Safety Net

From an early age, we’re taught a simple equation: money = security = happiness. It’s woven into the fabric of our culture—reinforced by financial gurus, social media influencers, and even well-meaning parents. We chase higher salaries, dream of early retirement, and believe that if we just save enough, invest wisely, and hit the right financial milestones, we’ll be set for life. And while financial stability undeniably provides comfort and options, it turns out that the real key to lasting happiness isn’t found in a bank statement—it’s found in our relationships.

The Retirement Paradox: When Wealth Isn’t Enough

Consider the paradox of retirement. Many people spend decades working tirelessly to achieve financial freedom, envisioning a future where they can finally relax and enjoy life. Yet, studies show that a significant number of wealthy retirees struggle with loneliness, depression, and a loss of purpose. After the initial thrill of freedom fades, they often find themselves without the workplace camaraderie, social connections, or sense of identity that once filled their days. Suddenly, all the money in the world can’t replace what truly brings meaning: a sense of belonging.

This yearning for meaning inspired me to create iNFINITE iMPACT.

Science Agrees: Connections Are the Key to Happiness

One of the most compelling pieces of evidence against the “money = happiness” myth comes from Harvard’s Study of Adult Development, an 85-year longitudinal study that tracked participants’ lives to uncover what truly leads to well-being. The findings? Good relationships—not wealth or career success—are the strongest predictor of happiness and longevity. Those with strong social connections lived longer, were healthier, and reported greater life satisfaction compared to those who prioritized financial success over relationships.

A Cautionary Tale: When Success Comes at a Cost

Take Mark, a high-powered executive who spent decades climbing the corporate ladder. He had the penthouse, the luxury vacations, the prestigious title—but along the way, he neglected friendships, rarely saw his family, and always put work first. When he finally “made it” and stepped away from his career, he was met with an unexpected reality: an empty calendar and a deep sense of isolation. Without the daily interactions that once filled his life, Mark realised too late that his success had come at a cost—his relationships.

True security isn’t just about financial wealth; it’s also about social wealth. Because when life dishes up one of its inevitable and untimely life transitions, it’s not your bank balance that offers comfort—it’s the people who show up for you.

The True Currency of Happiness: Relationships Over Riches

We often measure wealth in dollars and assets—our bank balance, our investments, the square footage of our home. But what if we started measuring it in something even more valuable? The depth of our relationships, the strength of our support system, and the people we can truly count on. That’s emotional wealth, and in the grand scheme of life, it far outweighs financial wealth.

Emotional Wealth vs. Financial Wealth

There’s no denying that financial security makes life easier. Money can buy comfort, opportunity, and even moments of joy. But it can’t buy fulfilment—at least not the kind that comes from feeling deeply connected to others.

We are wired for connection. From an evolutionary perspective, our survival once depended on our ability to form close-knit communities. Our ancestors didn’t just thrive because they were good hunters or had the biggest caves—they survived because they had strong social bonds. Even in today’s world, that remains true. We don’t just need relationships for companionship; we need them for emotional and psychological stability.

The Science of Connection

Modern research reinforces what our ancestors instinctively knew: relationships are a cornerstone of health and happiness. Studies show that people with strong social ties experience lower stress levels, better heart health, and even stronger immune systems. Meanwhile, loneliness has been labelled a public health crisis—linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even premature death. In fact, one shocking study found that chronic loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

The takeaway? Friendships and meaningful connections aren’t just a “nice-to-have.” They’re essential to our well-being, just like diet, exercise, and sleep.

A New Definition of Success

Real success isn’t about how much money you have—it’s about who would show up for you when you need them most. Who can you call at 2 a.m. in a crisis? Who genuinely celebrates your wins and supports you through your struggles?

Life’s greatest currency isn’t found in a stock portfolio—it’s found in the people who stand by you, through every high and low. Because true wealth isn’t about what you own. It’s about who you have in your corner.

Navigating Life Transitions: When Your Connections Becomes Your Lifeline

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs. One day, everything feels stable, and the next, you’re facing a major transition—retirement, a career shift, the loss of a loved one, a move to a new city, or the end of a relationship. These moments can shake our sense of identity, security, and purpose. And when they do, one thing becomes abundantly clear: money might soften the blow, but it’s our relationships that help us land on our feet.

Major Life Shifts: When Money Is Meaningless

Imagine retiring after decades of a demanding career. You finally have financial freedom, but without the built-in social interactions of work, your days suddenly feel… empty. Or consider someone who relocates for a fresh start, only to realize that without close connections, a dream city can feel isolating. In moments like these, financial wealth becomes meaningless if there’s no emotional wealth to back it up.

That’s because life transitions aren’t just logistical—they’re deeply emotional. And while money can provide security, it can’t offer a listening ear, a reassuring hug, or a meaningful conversation over coffee when you need it most.

The Role of a Strong Support System

A well-built network isn’t just about having people to grab lunch with—it’s about having a safety net that catches you when life gets tough. Strong relationships provide:

Emotional Resilience: A support system helps you process challenges, manage stress, and regain confidence when life feels uncertain.

Opportunities for Reinvention: Whether it’s career advice, mentorship, or a friend connecting you with a new job opportunity, the right network can open doors you didn’t even know existed.

A Sense of Belonging and Purpose: Change can feel overwhelming, but having people who remind you of your value and encourage your next steps can make all the difference.

A Real-Life Example: Turning Connection into Strength

Take Sarah, a successful entrepreneur who sold her business and suddenly found herself in uncharted territory. Without the daily hustle, she felt adrift—her work had been her identity. But instead of isolating herself, she leaned into her network. She reconnected with old colleagues, sought guidance from mentors, and joined new social circles. Through those relationships, she found not only a renewed sense of purpose but also a new career path in coaching.

Sarah’s story isn’t unique—it’s proof that when life changes, it’s not wealth that carries you forward. It’s the people in your corner.

Because at the end of the day, no amount of money can replace the power of a strong, supportive network. And when the ground beneath you shifts, that network becomes your greatest asset.

How to Cultivate a High-Value Network That Supports Your Happiness

If relationships are the true currency of happiness, then building a strong network isn’t just a social activity—it’s an investment in your well-being. But let’s be clear: this isn’t about collecting LinkedIn connections or having a massive contact list. A high-value network isn’t measured by the number of people you know—it’s about the depth, authenticity, and mutual support within those relationships.

Quality Over Quantity: Meaningful Relationships Over Superficial Networking

We’ve all been in those networking events where people collect business cards like trophies, only to never follow up. That’s not the kind of network that sustains you through life’s highs and lows. True connection isn’t about knowing a lot of people—it’s about knowing the right people, in the right way. One deep, reliable friendship is worth more than a hundred surface-level acquaintances.

Investing in Relationships: The Key to Social Wealth

Like any form of wealth, social wealth grows when you nurture it. Strong relationships don’t happen by accident; they require intentional effort. Here’s how to cultivate connections that truly matter:

Be Present and Make Time: In a world of distractions, the best gift you can give someone is your undivided attention. Prioritize face-to-face interactions, phone calls, and genuine check-ins over passive social media scrolling.

Practice Gratitude and Appreciation: When was the last time you told a friend or mentor how much they mean to you? Expressing appreciation strengthens bonds and ensures people feel valued.

Reciprocity Matters: Great relationships are built on giving, not just receiving. Offer support, advice, or simply a listening ear before you ever need something in return. The best networks are based on mutual generosity, not transactional exchanges.

Diversifying Your Social Wealth

A strong network isn’t just about having close friends—it’s about cultivating connections across different areas of life.

  • Professional relationships provide mentorship, career opportunities, and personal growth.
  • Personal friendships offer emotional support, laughter, and a sense of belonging.
  • Community-based connections (volunteering, clubs, shared hobbies) expand your sense of purpose and introduce you to new perspectives.

And one crucial rule? Avoid “relationship debt.” If you only reach out when you need something, your connections will feel transactional. Instead, make relationship-building a consistent habit, so when you do need support, it’s a natural extension of an already strong bond.

In the end, building a high-value network isn’t about strategy—it’s about showing up, caring deeply, and investing in the people who make life richer. Because the most valuable asset you’ll ever have isn’t money—it’s the people who stand beside you.

Breaking Free from the “I Can Do It Myself” Mentality

If you’re someone who prides yourself on being independent, driven, and self-sufficient, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re exactly the kind of person who might struggle most with building a strong support network. Successful professionals are often conditioned to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness—that true success means handling everything solo. But here’s the truth: going it alone isn’t a badge of honour. It’s a lonely road.

The Overachiever’s Dilemma: Why It’s Hard to Ask for Help

Successful professionals and go-getters are often so used to being the ones others rely on that they forget they, too, need support. They’re the problem-solvers, the fixers, the ones who “have it all together.” But this self-imposed pressure can lead to burnout, isolation, and, ironically, a weaker sense of fulfilment despite outward success.

The reality? The strongest people aren’t the ones who never ask for help—they’re the ones who know when to do so.

Reframing Dependence as Strength

Leaning on others isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of wisdom. No one achieves anything truly meaningful alone—not in business, not in life, not in personal growth. Some of the most successful people in history—from entrepreneurs to world leaders—credit their achievements not just to their skills, but to the people who supported them along the way.

And the key ingredient to deepening those connections? Vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to be real—about our struggles, our uncertainties, our need for connection—we invite others to do the same. And that’s where real relationships are built: not in curated perfection, but in shared humanity.

Practical Steps to Reconnect

So how do you start breaking free from the “I’ve got this” mentality and actually cultivate meaningful support? Small, intentional actions can make a big difference:

Schedule regular check-ins. Set reminders to reach out to friends, mentors, or family members—not just when you need something, but to nurture the relationship consistently.

Join communities with shared interests. Whether it’s a professional networking group, a fitness class, or a book club, surrounding yourself with like-minded people naturally strengthens your support system.

Rekindle old friendships. Haven’t talked to an old friend in years? Send a simple text: “Hey, I was thinking about you today—how have you been?” Small gestures like this can reopen doors to meaningful connections.

At the end of the day, self-reliance is admirable, but connection is essential. The most successful, fulfilled people aren’t the ones who do it all alone—they’re the ones who build a strong network, lean on it when needed, and, in turn, show up for others. Because life isn’t meant to be a solo mission—it’s meant to be shared.

Conclusion: The True Measure of Wealth

At the end of the day, money can buy a lot of things—comfort, security, even moments of happiness. But it can’t buy the joy of shared experiences, the warmth of deep conversations, or the reassurance of knowing someone has your back. Financial wealth may create opportunities, but it’s our relationships—our social wealth—that give life meaning.

So here’s a challenge: If life threw you a curveball tomorrow, who would you call? Who would celebrate your victories, sit with you in your struggles, or simply grab coffee just because they enjoy your company? If you’re struggling to come up with names, it’s not a sign of failure—it’s an invitation to be more intentional about connection.

Start small. Reach out to an old friend. Prioritise time with the people who matter. Offer support without expecting anything in return. Relationships, like any valuable asset, require care and investment. And the best part? The returns are immeasurable.

Because when all is said and done, the richest life isn’t measured by numbers in a bank account—it’s measured by the strength of the connections we cultivate.

“I am an experienced medical doctor (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert) with a special interest in stress management. I may have an impressive number of letters after my name, and I may have more than three decades of professional experience, but what qualifies me to excel at what I do is my intuitive understanding of my clients’ difficulties and my extensive personal experience of managing major life changes using strategies I developed over many years” Dr M Montagu – iNFINITE iMPACT

Get rid of the nagging emptiness of “Is this all there is?” and step into a life where your accomplishments feel as purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling as they are impressive. This unique mentoring program empowers you to unearth the mission that sets your soul on fire and aligns your life with what truly matters to you—beyond success metrics and societal expectations.

Enrich Your Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat: The Art of Forest Bathing

Introduction: An Unforgettable Hiking Adventure

Picture this: You’re walking the Camino de Santiago through southwest France, where rolling hills unfurl like a medieval tapestry. Stone villages cling to cliffs, sunlit vineyards rustle in the gentle breeze, and ancient trails hum with the footsteps of pilgrims past. Now, imagine weaving a new thread into this timeless journey—one that invites you to slow down, breathe deeper, and let the forest itself become your guide. Discover the art of forest bathing, where the Camino’s physical character meets a soulful communion with nature.

What is Forest Bathing? (No, You Don’t Need a Towel)

Let’s clear the underbrush first: Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) is not about lathering up with pine-scented soap or scrubbing with bark exfoliants.

Forest bathing is a practice that originated in Japan in the 1980s as a way to combat the stress and burnout of the country’s overworked population. The term translates to “taking in the forest atmosphere” or “forest immersion.” It involves spending mindful, intentional time in nature, engaging all five senses to connect with the environment and experience the healing benefits of the forest.

Unlike hiking or other nature-based activities, forest bathing is not about exertion or reaching a destination. Instead, it’s about slowing down, being present, and allowing nature to restore your body through your senses. Here’s a detailed breakdown of the practice:

  1. Mindful Walking: Forest bathing typically begins with a slow, mindful walk in a forest or other natural environment. The pace should be leisurely, allowing you to take in your surroundings without rushing.
  2. Sensory Engagement: The key to forest bathing is engaging all five senses:

  • Sight: Notice the colours, shapes, and movements around you. Observe the play of light and shadow, the variety of greens in the leaves, and the intricate patterns of the forest.
  • Sound: Listen to the birdsong, the rustling of leaves, the sound of water, and the wind in the trees. Allow these natural sounds to wash over you and calm your mind.
  • Smell: Inhale the scent of the forest, which is rich in phytoncides, the essential oils emitted by trees. These have been shown to have a positive effect on the immune system.
  • Touch: Feel the texture of the bark, the softness of the moss, the coolness of a stream. You can also simply notice the sensation of the breeze on your skin.
  • Taste: While not always possible, you can taste the forest through edible plants or even the freshness of the air.

3. Breathing and Relaxation: Deep breathing exercises are often incorporated into forest bathing to help you relax and connect more deeply with the environment. Sit or lie down in a comfortable spot and simply breathe with the forest.

4. Reflection: Forest bathing often includes a period of reflection or contemplation. This can be a time to journal, meditate, or simply sit quietly and absorb the peace of the natural world.

Benefits of Forest Bathing

The benefits of forest bathing are numerous and well-documented. They can be broadly categorised into physical, mental, and emotional benefits:

Physical Benefits:

  • Immune System Boost: Studies have shown that spending time in forests can increase the activity of natural killer (NK) cells, a type of white blood cell that plays a vital role in the immune system. This boost can last for up to 30 days after a forest bathing experience. One key element is phytoncides, voltaic organic compounds (VOC’s) released by trees, which have been shown to boost the immune system and increase the production of anti-cancer proteins.
  • Cardiovascular Health: Forest bathing has been linked to lower blood pressure, reduced pulse rate, and decreased cortisol levels (a stress hormone).
  • Respiratory Health: The air in forests is often cleaner and richer in oxygen, which can benefit the respiratory system. Additionally, the phytoncides emitted by trees have antimicrobial properties that can help protect against illness.

Mental Benefits:

  • Stress Reduction: One of the most significant benefits of forest bathing is its ability to reduce stress. Numerous studies have shown that spending time in nature can lower cortisol levels and decrease sympathetic nervous system activity, promoting a state of relaxation.
  • Improved Mood: Forest bathing has been linked to improved mood and decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety. The calming effects of nature can help regulate emotions and promote a sense of well-being.
  • Enhanced Creativity: Spending time in nature has been shown to enhance creativity and problem-solving skills. The peaceful environment and lack of distractions can allow the mind to wander and generate new ideas.

Emotional Benefits:

  • Emotional Healing: Forest bathing can provide a safe and supportive space for emotional healing. The calming atmosphere of the forest can help you process difficult emotions and gain new perspectives.
  • Increased Sense of Connection: Spending time in nature can foster a deeper sense of connection to the natural world and to oneself.
  • Mindfulness: Forest bathing encourages mindfulness (present-moment awareness.) By engaging the senses and focusing on the environment, you can cultivate a deeper appreciation for the beauty and wonder of the natural world.

Forest bathing is about feeling moss under your fingertips, listening to the gossip of rustling leaves, and inhaling air so crisp it could double as a spa treatment.

“But I haven’t got time to stop!” The Camino is about movement, miles, and milestones. Won’t forest bathing slow you down? Absolutely—and that’s the point. Slowing isn’t surrendering; it’s savouring. On my retreats, you have time. By alternating brisk stretches with mindful pauses, you’ll paradoxically increase stamina. Stress melts, muscles loosen, and joy bubbles up like a woodland spring. Plus, let’s be real: Your Instagram followers will prefer a photo of you grinning under a majestic oak tree to another grimacing summit selfie.

Whispering Woods: the Camino’s Green Cathedrals

For centuries, the Camino has been a metaphor for life: a path of endurance, surrender, and transformation. But what if the journey isn’t just about reaching Santiago de Compostela? What if it’s also about letting the landscape reach you? Southwest France’s stretch of the Camino—less trodden than its Spanish counterpart—offers forests that feel like sacred temples. Here, the rhythm of your boots syncs with the pulse of the land. Walking becomes a meditation, and every bend in the trail invites you to shed another layer of restlessness.

Ancient oak trees stand like green cathedral pillars, their canopies filtering sunlight into golden lace. On Gascony’s sun-dappled paths, you’ll half-expect a troubadour to emerge at any moment, strumming his lute. And then there are the sensory details: the tang of wild thyme underfoot, the chorus of crickets at dusk, the way a breeze carries the distant clang of a village church bell. These forests aren’t just scenery—they’re storytellers, steeped in Camino legends and the quiet resilience of the walkers of centuries past.

So, how do you combine forest bathing with a walking pilgrimage? Like a good French wine and cheese pairing—thoughtfully, and with joy. Just follow the signs.

“Nature offers us signposts, but they can be difficult to notice unless you are paying attention. Nature’s signposts confirm that you’re exactly where you are meant to be. You may see them over and over again—a type of plant you always seem to spot, a shrub with particularly tasty fruit, or an animal that crosses your path. Every time you see Nature’s signposts, she is reminding you that you are in conversation with her and that you’re going the right way.” ― Julia Plevin, The Healing Magic of Forest Bathing: Finding Calm, Creativity, and Connection in the Natural World

The Camino de Santiago’s Unexpected Gift

Clara, a widow from Toronto, attended one of my From Troubled to Triumphant transformational retreats Camino with a heart “as heavy as my backpack.” Grief clung to her shoulders, pressing into every step, every breath. It had been two years since she lost Michael, her husband of thirty-five years, yet the pain remained sharp, like a stone in her shoe she couldn’t shake loose. When she signed up for the walking retreat, she wasn’t sure what she was seeking—only that she needed to move, to let the road carry her forward.

The Camino had its own way of whispering to those who walked it, urging them to shed what they no longer needed. But Clara held on tightly to her sorrow, afraid that letting go meant losing Michael all over again.

One afternoon, as the path wound through an ancient oak forest, she felt an inexplicable pull. The gnarled branches stretched like open arms, the leaves murmuring in a language older than words. The air was thick with the scent of moss and woodsmoke, cool and still. Without thinking, Clara stepped off the trail and into the embrace of the trees.

She sank onto a bed of fallen leaves, her back against a towering oak. The bark was rough beneath her fingertips, grounding her. And then, as if the forest itself had unlocked something within her, the tears came. Not the quiet, measured tears she had allowed herself before, but deep, body-wracking sobs. She wept for Michael, for the life they had built, for the mornings without his laughter, for the empty chair at the kitchen table. She wept for the part of herself that had been buried with him.

The forest held her grief without judgment, without hurry. The trees stood steady, their roots deep, their branches reaching for the sky. Slowly, her sobs softened, like autumn leaves underfoot. The ache was still there—but it was no longer sharp, no longer something to be wrestled with. Instead, it had settled into something gentler, something she could carry without being crushed beneath it.

When Clara finally stood, her body felt lighter, her breath steadier. She pressed a palm against the oak in silent gratitude, then stepped back onto the path. The Camino stretched before her, winding toward the horizon, toward whatever came next. And for the first time in a long time, she was ready to walk toward it.

Into the Woods, I go… for Creative Inspiration

As I reflect on own experience of forest bathing, while walking the Camino one Sunday afternoon, I am struck by the profound impact that combining this ancient pilgrimage trail with the practice of forest bathing has had on me. It was more than just a walk through a beautiful landscape; it was a deep dive into mindfulness, re-calibration and reflection.

Forest bathing, with its emphasis on sensory engagement and present-moment awareness, amplified the already transformative experience of the Camino. My slow stroll brought new insights and a deeper appreciation for the natural world. The benefits were manifold: reduced stress, enhanced creativity, and a boost to my immune system, to name a few. But perhaps the most significant gain was the sense of connection I felt, both to nature and to myself.

This walk reminded me of the importance of slowing down, of being present, and of embracing the beauty that surrounds us. It has reminded me that renewal is always within reach, as close as the nearest forest or even a quiet corner of a park full of trees.

That is why I created my 7-day Camino walking retreats so that I can include forest bathing and wild swimming.

So, lace up your boots, open your senses, and join me here at my little farm in the southwest of France and step into the forest. Who knows what insights, what healing, what adventures await you? The world is full of possibilities, and each step you take is a step towards a more connected, more mindful, more joyful you. Hope to see you this year, and may your walk be as enriching and transformative as mine has been.

Conclusion

The Camino de Santiago and forest bathing are kindred spirits. Both ask you to trust the path, embrace the unknown, and find enlightenment in simplicity. Every step on the trail is a breath; every breath, a step into the forest’s healing embrace. So go ahead—book your retreat. After all, the best hiking adventures aren’t just about where you’re going. They’re about who you become along the way.

🌳 Buen Camino, and may the Forest be with you. 🌳


Research

Science has a habit of confirming what poets already know: Nature heals. Studies show that forest bathing lowers cortisol (stress’s pesky sidekick), boosts immunity (thanks to phytoncides—woodland essential oils emitted by trees), and even sparks creativity (Einstein did claim his best ideas came while walking). On the Camino, where blisters and fatigue can cloud your clarity, forest bathing offers moments of quiet revelation. It’s the pause between steps where you realise the trail isn’t just beneath your feet—it’s in the dappled light, the earthy scent after rain, and the way a gnarled oak seems to whisper, “Linger awhile.”

Li Q, Morimoto K, Kobayashi M, Inagaki H, Katsumata M, Hirata Y, Hirata K, Suzuki H, Li YJ, Wakayama Y, Kawada T, Park BJ, Ohira T, Matsui N, Kagawa T, Miyazaki Y, Krensky AM. Visiting a forest, but not a city, increases human natural killer activity and expression of anti-cancer proteins. Int J Immunopathol Pharmacol. 2008 Jan-Mar;21(1):117-27.

Hansen MM, Jones R, Tocchini K. Shinrin-Yoku (Forest Bathing) and Nature Therapy: A State-of-the-Art Review. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2017 Jul 28;14(8):851.

Li Q. Effect of forest bathing trips on human immune function. Environ Health Prev Med. 2010 Jan;15(1):9-17.

Li Q. Effects of forest environment (Shinrin-yoku/Forest bathing) on health promotion and disease prevention -the Establishment of “Forest Medicine”. Environ Health Prev Med. 2022;27:43.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during Life Quakes Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. These retreats blend reflection and relaxation in a way that feels more like an exciting adventure than hard work. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

From Burnout to Breakthrough: How a 50km Hike Solved A Problem Coaching Couldn’t

overtinking - a woman walking the Camino de Santiago

Walking Long Distances can Lead to Life-Changing Epiphanies

Introduction: The Problem With Overthinking

Have you ever spent hours—days, even—trying to think your way out of a problem? You analyse it from every angle, create action plans, hire a coach, read another self-help book (or three), and yet… crickets. No clarity. No solution. No breakthrough.

Welcome to the successful professional’s paradox: the very brain that got you here—successful, accomplished, driven—is now the same brain keeping you trapped in overthinking, indecision, frustration and burnout.

So, naturally, you do what any logical person would do. You double down. More strategy. More coaching. More frameworks. You schedule yet another brainstorming session, convinced that if you just push a little harder, the answer will finally emerge.

Except it doesn’t. Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: some problems aren’t meant to be solved by thinking. They’re meant to be solved by moving.

And that’s exactly what Claire, a guest on one of my From Troubled to Triumpfant walking retreats, discovered when she stopped overthinking and started fixing her eyes on the horizon instead—step by step, kilometre by kilometre, on a 50km hike that did what in 3 days coaching failed to do in 3 months.

This is the story of how she walked her way out of burnout, into breakthrough, and why you might want to do the same.

Why Walking Works When Talking Doesn’t

Claire sat across from me, stirring the ice in her now-diluted latte, looking utterly defeated. “I’ve read the books. I’ve done the therapy. I’ve journaled myself into oblivion. And yet, here I am, still stuck.” Claire wasn’t lacking insight. She could articulate her patterns, dissect her limiting beliefs, and even predict the advice her coach would give before it was given. But knowing and changing? Two different beasts.

That’s the thing about the mind: it’s brilliant at running in circles. It constructs elaborate mazes of analysis, self-criticism, and overthinking, all while keeping us in the exact same spot.

Enter movement. Not metaphorical, not theoretical—actual, physical movement. The simple act of putting one foot in front of the other can get you unstuck in a way thinking cannot. Walking is, quite literally, forward motion. It bypasses the endless loop of rumination and taps into something deeper, something ancient. Science backs it up—walking enhances creativity, reduces stress, and rewires the brain in ways a strategy session never could.

So here’s a bold question: What if your breakthrough isn’t waiting for you in the next self-improvement book or heart-to-heart conversation? What if it’s out there on the trail, hidden in the rhythm of your own footsteps?

This is the magic of transformational walking retreats—especially the long-distance kind, like the legendary Camino de Santiago. These walks strip life down to its essentials: walk, eat, rest, repeat. And somewhere along the way, between step one and step 500,000, something shifts. You don’t just think differently—you become a different person.

Overthinking: the Limits of Therapy, Mentoring and Coaching

Let’s get one thing straight: therapy is invaluable. Coaching? Often life-changing. Mentoring? Entirely worth it. These three strategies have helped countless people untangle their thoughts, eradicate their limiting beliefs, and wade through life’s messiness with confidence and clarity. But here’s the catch—sometimes, they keep us stuck in our heads.

Think about it. You sit in an office (or a Zoom window), talking about your struggles—unpacking childhood wounds, dissecting relationship patterns, mapping out business strategies. You analyse, intellectualise, and conceptualise. And sure, awareness is important. But awareness alone doesn’t always translate into change.

Because change? Change lives in the body.

Yet so many of us get trapped in what I call the “cerebral cul-de-sac”—a never-ending loop of self-analysis that masquerades as progress but often leads nowhere. We understand our triggers but still react the same way. We identify the fear but don’t move past it. We strategise for the future but never take the first step. It’s like running sophisticated software on hardware that refuses to update.

This is where coaching, for all its power, can also hit a wall. Many coaching models focus on optimisation—more efficiency, better habits, sharper strategies. But true transformation isn’t always about hacking your schedule or fine-tuning your mindset. Sometimes, it requires something messier: a felt shift, a cellular-level recalibration, the kind of change that happens not in your head, but in your bones.

And that’s where walking comes in.

Walking is an embodied experience. It forces you out of your overactive mind and into the present moment. It’s a somatic reset, a pattern interrupter, a way to trick your brain into getting unstuck without having to think your way there. When you walk—especially for long distances—your nervous system settles, your breath deepens, and your thoughts untangle on their own. No force, no over-analysis, just movement.

This is why I created a 7-day walking retreat, the From Troubled to Triumphant transformational retreat, a Camino de Santiago walking retreat, here at my little farm in the southwest of France. When my iNFINITE iMPACT mentoring clients get stuck, it bypasses cognitive resistance. You don’t have to figure out your next move—you just have to keep moving. And in that rhythm, in the sheer physicality of the experience, something shifts. Not just in theory. Not just in conversation. But in you.

The Science Behind Walking and Breaking out of Overthinking

There’s something almost alchemical about walking—something that shifts our internal landscape in ways sitting still simply can’t. And as it turns out, science has a lot to say about why.

First, let’s talk neuroscience. Walking engages both hemispheres of the brain in a rhythmic, bilateral pattern. This might not sound groundbreaking, but it’s the same core mechanism behind EMDR therapy, a highly effective treatment for trauma. When we walk, we’re not just getting from point A to point B; we’re literally processing, integrating, and re-wiring our thoughts in real time. Stuck emotions start to move. Problems that felt like dead ends suddenly present new exits.

Then there’s BDNF—Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor. It sounds like a sci-fi serum, but it’s actually a protein that plays a crucial role in neuroplasticity (your brain’s ability to adapt and form new connections). Aerobic movement, like walking, increases BDNF levels, making it easier to think creatively, absorb new perspectives, and break free from rigid mental loops. In other words, walking doesn’t just clear your head—it upgrades your operating system.

History backs this up. Some of the sharpest minds in history swore by the power of a good walk. Steve Jobs held his most important meetings on foot, believing that movement fostered sharper thinking and deeper connection. Nietzsche famously declared, “All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.” Virginia Woolf, Thoreau, and Dickens all attributed their most profound creative insights to long, contemplative walks. These weren’t just casual strolls—they were a fundamental part of their intellectual and artistic process.

But why does walking work so well? Because it loosens mental rigidity. When we sit still, our thinking tends to stagnate, looping in familiar overthinking patterns. Walking, by contrast, is fluid. It introduces a sense of momentum, both physically and mentally. When the body moves forward, the mind follows suit, naturally making space for new ideas and unexpected solutions.

So if you’ve ever felt trapped in a cycle of overthinking, unable to find the clarity you’re searching for, the solution might not be in another brainstorming session or another deep-dive conversation. It might just be waiting for you out there, in the steady rhythm of your own two feet.

How a 50km Walk Forces a Psychological Reset

A casual stroll around the neighbourhood is refreshing. A 50-kilometer walk? That’s transformative. There’s something about sustained movement—step after step, day after day—that forces a shift, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and even existentially. It’s not just a journey across terrain; it’s a journey through yourself. And somewhere between the blisters and the breathtaking landscapes, something profound happens.

The Role of Physical Challenge

Let’s start with the obvious: walking long distances is hard. It’s not a leisurely amble through a park—it’s endurance, patience, and surrender rolled into one. At some point, your feet will ache, your muscles will protest, and you’ll find yourself questioning your life choices. And that’s exactly where the magic begins.

Physical discomfort mirrors our internal struggle. The same way your body resists the challenge, your mind resists change. But as you keep walking—despite the soreness, despite the fatigue—you learn something invaluable: discomfort is temporary, and you are more resilient than you think. The identity you clung to before the journey (“I’m not the type of person who does this” or “I need my routines to function”) starts to crack. Without your inbox, your meetings, your usual distractions, who are you? That’s the uncomfortable but liberating question a long walk forces you to confront.

Solo Reflection & Mental Clarity

In therapy, mentoring or coaching, there’s always someone guiding you, asking questions, holding space. But on a long-distance walk, no one is prompting you. There’s no structured framework, no agenda—just you, your thoughts, and the open road. This might sound daunting, but it’s one of the most powerful aspects of the experience.

Thoughts surface unfiltered, without the pressure to articulate them to someone else. You process emotions organically, not because you should, but because walking has a way of bringing them to the surface. And the setting? That’s just as important.

Nature itself is a silent therapist. Studies show that time spent in natural landscapes reduces stress hormones and increases feelings of well-being. There’s something inherently soothing about moving through forests, mountains, or coastal paths—something that reminds you that life is bigger than your latest worry. In nature, problems lose their sharp edges. Anxiety softens. And in the quiet, the truth you’ve been avoiding tends to make itself known.

Silence is another underrated tool. In daily life, we’re bombarded by noise—emails, notifications, conversations. But in the solitude of a long walk, you’re left with your own thoughts. And in that space, you start to hear what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Breaking Routine = Breaking Patterns

One of the reasons personal transformation is so difficult is that we’re trapped in the gravity of routine. Same environment, same habits, same mental loops. But a 50km walk disrupts all of it. Your normal schedule vanishes. Your usual coping mechanisms (doomscrolling, overanalyzing, procrastinating) aren’t available. You wake up, you walk, you eat, you rest. It’s simplicity at its finest—and in that simplicity, something shifts.

Movement itself signals change to the brain. It tells your nervous system, we’re doing something different now. And that message seeps into more than just your muscles. It lowers the fear of the unknown, rewires old mental associations, and makes it easier to imagine—and embody—a new way of being.

By the time you finish those 50 kilometers, you’re not just physically somewhere new—you are someone new. Not because you planned it, not because you analyzed it, but because step by step, the old version of you dissolved. And in its place? A person who knows, deep in their bones, that they are capable of more than they ever imagined.

Make It a Daily Practice

Not everyone can drop everything and walk 50km tomorrow. But you don’t need to in order to unlock the benefits. A simple, consistent walking practice—say, 5km a day—can have a massive impact on your clarity, stress levels, and overall mindset. The trick is to treat it as a thinking walk, not just exercise.

Tips for Maximising Breakthroughs

  • Ditch the distractions. No music. No podcasts. Just let your mind wander.
  • Start with a question, but don’t chase an answer. Instead, let the rhythm of walking loosen your thinking naturally.
  • Keep a journal. The best insights often arrive mid-walk or just after—capture them before they disappear.

And these are the breakthroughs no conversation could ever give you.

Your Breakthrough Is Waiting on the Road Ahead

Remember Claire, the friend who had tried everything—therapy, coaching, self-help—and still felt stuck? She joined a From Troubled to Triumpfant walking retreat and walked the Camino. Not all of it, just 50km. At first, it was just another challenge, another attempt to shake off the stagnation. But something shifted out there, somewhere between the aching feet and the open road. With no emails to answer, no problems to dissect, no one asking how she felt about it, she stopped trying to figure it all out—and just let herself be.

And that’s when the clarity arrived. Not in a lightning-bolt epiphany, not in a grand cinematic moment, but in the quiet, undeniable realization that she was capable of more than she thought. That she wasn’t stuck. That she never had been.

That’s the thing about movement—it doesn’t give you answers in neat, logical sentences. It bypasses the noise and gets straight to the truth. Therapy and coaching? Incredibly valuable. But sometimes, the answers we need don’t come from talking. They come from walking.

So, here’s your challenge: What’s the problem you’ve been overthinking? The decision you’ve been circling without resolution? The feeling you can’t quite shake? Instead of analysing it to death, what if you walked with it? What if, instead of another deep-dive conversation, you gave yourself permission to move forward—literally?

And if you really want to experience the full power of this, consider taking the leap: commit to a transformational walking retreat. Choose a 50km journey. Stop the overthinking and step into the unknown. Trust that whatever you’re searching for is not behind a desk, or in another meeting, or buried in a to-do list. It’s out there, waiting for you—on the road ahead.

Esprit Meraki Retreats
From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground During a LIfe Quake Retreat
Walking and Writing Retreat: Find Insight and Inspiration with Every Step
Tick-off-Your-Bucket-List Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat
Book Lover’s Binge Reading Retreat and Christmas Binge Reading Retreat

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or on the edge of burnout, you don’t need another lecture on self-care—you need real, immediate relief. The Road Map to Resilience: Burnout to Brilliance online course (with the option of adding coaching sessions) is designed for exactly that: a practical, step-by-step course to help you regain control, rebuild your energy, and find clarity in the chaos. This isn’t about quick fixes or empty motivation—it’s about proven strategies to calm your nervous system, shift your mindset, and create sustainable resilience. If you need emergency emotional aid right now, this course will walk you through exactly what to do to stabilize, recover, and come out stronger on the other side. You don’t have to cope with this on your own—let’s get you back on track.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or on the edge of burnout, you don’t need another lecture on self-care—you need immediate support. The Road Map to Resilience: Burnout to Brilliance online course (with the option of adding coaching sessions) is designed for exactly that: a practical, step-by-step course to help you regain control, rebuild your energy, and find clarity in the chaos. This isn’t a quick fix—it’s about proven strategies to calm your nervous system, shift your mindset, and create sustainable resilience. If you need emergency emotional aid right now, this course will walk you through exactly what to do to stabilise, recover, and come out stronger on the other side. No need to cope with this on your own—let’s get you back on track.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during Life Quakes Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. These retreats blend reflection and relaxation in a way that feels more like an exciting adventure than hard work. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Mentoring or Coaching in the Quest for Emotional Resilience

One woman wentoring another at a coffee shop

Creating Professional and Personal Resilience

Ever found yourself wondering whether you need a mentor or a coach? You’re not alone. In fact, this question pops up more often than unsolicited LinkedIn connection requests. Let’s dive into the confusingly complex world of professional development, where mentors and coaches dance a sophisticated tango of transformation – similar steps, different music.

Mentor – Definition

Think of mentoring as the professional equivalent of having a role model: a seasoned professional who’s been there, done that, and collected enough t-shirts to clothe a small nation. They’re the ones who’ll tell you not just how to avoid the icebergs but also where to find the easiest-accessible and safest harbours.

Mentoring typically involves a more experienced person (mentor) sharing their knowledge, experience and wisdom with a less experienced person in the same field or profession. The relationship is often longer-term and more holistic, focusing on career development and personal growth. Mentors can offer invaluable insights from their own journey and help mentees navigate complex professional landscapes.

Mentoring is less about fixing what’s broken and more about nurturing what could be better. Your mentor might be the CEO who remembers what it was like to be a nervous newcomer, or the industry veteran who’s seen more plot twists than a Netflix series. They share their war stories, open invisible doors, and occasionally remind you not to wear that tie to board meetings.

Coach – Definition

Now, coaching is a different animal altogether – think less seasoned role model and more professional Olympic trainer. Coaches are the architects of change, the specialists who help you turn vague aspirations into actionable game plans. They’re not necessarily veterans of your specific industry; rather, they’re veterans of the human potential game.

A coach doesn’t necessarily need direct experience in the coachee’s field, as they focus on helping individuals develop specific skills or achieve particular objectives through questioning, feedback, and accountability. The relationship is often more time-bound and focused on specific outcomes.

A good coach is like a GPS for your professional journey – they won’t drive the car for you, but they’ll help you navigate every turn with precision. They’re armed with questions sharper than a surgeon’s scalpel and can spot patterns in your behaviour faster than a chess grandmaster spots checkmate.

Vive La Difference!

Here’s where things get interesting. While both mentors and coaches are in the business of making you better at what you do, they go about it as differently as a jazz improvisation differs from a classical symphony.

Mentors typically engage in long-term relationships that evolve organically, like a fine wine or your taste in music. They share wisdom accumulated through years of experience, often peppered with “when I was in your shoes” stories that are actually helpful (unlike your uncle’s fishing tales).

Coaches, on the other hand, operate with the precision of a Swiss watch. They work within defined timeframes, set specific goals, and measure progress with the attention to detail of a tax auditor – but with considerably more charm.

For career advancement and professional development within a specific industry, mentoring might be more beneficial because it provides:

  • Industry-specific guidance and insights
  • Access to professional networks
  • Long-term career perspective
  • Role modelling of success in the field

For developing specific skills or achieving particular goals, coaching might be more effective because it offers:

  • Structured approach to improvement
  • Clear metrics and accountability
  • Focused skill development
  • Objective outside perspective

Mentoring works best when you are:

  • Navigating the complex ecosystem of an industry or organisation
  • Looking to build a network that’s more valuable than your stock options
  • Seeking the kind of wisdom that comes from years of triumphs and spectacular failures
  • Trying to understand the unwritten rules that govern your professional world

Coaching is more effective when you are:

  • Aiming to develop specific skills with the focus of a heat-seeking missile
  • Working toward clear, measurable goals on a defined timeline
  • Looking to transform behavioural patterns that are about as helpful as a chocolate teapot
  • Seeking structured accountability that’s more reliable than your morning alarm

I am a fully-qualified transformational life coach, with many years of coaching experience. As I get older, I find myself mentoring more and more often, but still on occasion switching back to coaching if the situation demands it. Best of both worlds, for me as well as for my client.

Mentoring, to me, is not just about helping others; it’s a two-way street that’s transformed me in ways I never expected. It’s not philanthropy; it’s strategic symbiosis. Each mentoring relationship increases my emotional intelligence and decision-making abilities far more effectively than coaching ever did. It’s my cognitive gym, where I’m constantly challenged to articulate complex ideas and manage nuanced interpersonal dynamics. The ROI is undeniable: I’ve expanded my sphere of influence, gained insider insights into emerging trends, and cultivated a network that’s paid dividends in unexpected ways. Plus, there’s an intoxicating sense of legacy-building – shaping the next generation of trailblazers. In a world where time is our scarcest resource, mentoring is how I compound my impact aiming not just for success, but for significance.

Interestingly, 89% of mentees eventually become mentors, creating a self-sustaining growth ecosystem.

My mentoring program is called iNFINITE iMPACT Strategies

Get rid of the nagging emptiness of “Is this all there is?” and step into a life where your accomplishments feel as purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling as they are impressive. This unique mentoring program empowers you to unearth the mission that sets your soul on fire and aligns your life with what truly matters to you—beyond success metrics and societal expectations.

The Power Duo: When Mentoring and Coaching Join Forces

Ever wondered what happens when you combine the seasoned wisdom of a mentor with the laser-focused approach of a coach? It’s like pairing a master chef’s intuition with a food scientist’s precision – you get something quite extraordinary.

Imagine having a mentor who helps you see the big picture of your industry landscape, while a coach helps you perfect the specific skills needed to navigate it. Your mentor might identify an emerging trend in your field, suggesting you develop expertise in artificial intelligence. Your coach then steps in to help you create and execute a concrete plan to master those AI skills.

Let’s say you’re aiming for a senior leadership position. Your mentor, who’s held similar roles, shares invaluable insights about the political landscape and unwritten rules of executive leadership. Meanwhile, your coach helps you develop the executive presence and communication skills needed for the role through structured practice and feedback.

The key to successfully combining both approaches lies in clear communication and role definition. Think of your mentor as your career strategist and your coach as your tactical expert. Keep them informed of each other’s input (when appropriate) to ensure their guidance aligns rather than conflicts.

For example, if your mentor suggests you need to develop stronger leadership skills to advance in your organisation, your coach can create a specific program to help you develop those skills through practical exercises and real-world applications.

The Ultimate Growth Ecosystem

This dual support system creates a comprehensive growth environment where:

  • Long-term vision meets immediate action
  • Industry wisdom complements skill development
  • Network building aligns with personal growth
  • Strategic thinking pairs with tactical execution

The beauty of combining mentoring and coaching is that you get both the forest and the trees – the big-picture perspective and the detailed path to get there. It’s like having a strategic advisor and a personal trainer for your career, working in harmony to help you achieve your professional best.

Remember, professional development isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. Some situations might call for more mentoring, others for more coaching. The art lies in knowing when to lean on which resource and how to harmonize their input for maximum impact.

So next time someone asks you whether you prefer mentoring or coaching, you might just want to smile and say, “Why choose when you can have both?”

Choosing the right mentor is crucial for your professional growth and career development:

The right mentor can be a game-changer for your career, but finding the right fit takes more than just picking someone successful. Here’s what to look for:

  1. Find someone whose values match yours. Success looks different for everyone, so choose a mentor whose definition aligns with your own. Their advice will resonate more if they’re working toward (or have already achieved) something you genuinely admire.
  2. Look for someone who’s been where you want to go. The best mentors are those who’ve already navigated the challenges you’re facing. Their insights come from experience, not theory, making their advice more practical and relevant.
  3. Make sure they have the time and energy to invest in you. A great mentor-coach isn’t just knowledgeable—they’re available. If someone is stretched too thin, they won’t be able to give you the support you need.
  4. Choose someone who challenges you. It’s important to have a good rapport, but growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone. A mentor with different skills, experiences, or perspectives can push you to think in new ways.
  5. Pay attention to their attitude toward their own career. Passion is contagious. A mentor who genuinely enjoys their work will bring more energy, encouragement, and enthusiasm to your conversations.
  6. Make sure you communicate well together. The most brilliant mentor in the world won’t be much help if you struggle to connect. A strong mentoring relationship depends on mutual respect, open dialogue, and a shared understanding of how you work best.
  7. Look for a guide, not a dictator. A great mentor doesn’t just hand you answers—they help you discover them yourself. They inspire, challenge, and support you while offering honest, constructive feedback with kindness.
  8. Study their career path. What do you admire about them? What aspects of their journey do you want to emulate? Understanding their background will help you determine if they’re the right fit for your growth.
  9. Consider their interpersonal skills. A great mentor listens more than they talk. They ask insightful questions, tailor their advice to your journey, and create a safe space for honest conversations—even when things get tough.
  10. Make sure they want to be a mentor. The best mentors don’t just teach—they care. Look for someone who’s genuinely invested in your success and excited to help you grow.

When choosing a mentor, it’s crucial to avoid these common mistakes:

Finding the right mentor can be a game-changer, but some common missteps can make the experience less effective—or even frustrating. Here’s what not to do when choosing a mentor:

  1. Not knowing what you want. Before reaching out to a mentor, take time to clarify your goals. What do you need help with? What skills or insights are you hoping to gain? A clear sense of direction makes it easier to find a mentor who’s the right fit—and ensures they can actually help you.
  2. Showing up unprepared. Your mentor is offering their time—respect it. Always come to meetings with an agenda, specific questions, or challenges you want to discuss. The more prepared you are, the more valuable your conversations will be.
  3. Skipping the expectations talk. Mentorship works best when both people know what to expect. Talk about how often you’ll meet, how you’ll communicate, and what kind of support you’re looking for. Setting clear expectations upfront helps avoid misalignment or wasted time.
  4. Picking a friend or family member. Sure, they know you well, but that’s exactly the problem—they might sugarcoat things or struggle to give you objective advice. A mentor should challenge you, not just cheer you on. An unbiased third party will push you in ways that someone too close to you might not.
  5. Only looking for high-level mentors. Senior leaders have a lot of wisdom, but someone just a few steps ahead in their career may actually be more helpful. They remember what it’s like to be where you are now, making their advice more relatable and actionable.
  6. Expecting one person to be your everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect, all-knowing mentor. You may need multiple mentors for different aspects of your growth—someone for leadership skills, another for industry insights, and maybe another for personal development.
  7. Overlooking their actual expertise. Not all impressive people make great mentors. Look for someone with both experience and leadership skills—someone who’s open about their failures, willing to share lessons learned, and has a track record of helping others grow.
  8. Choosing someone who isn’t open-minded. A great mentor doesn’t just give you answers—they encourage you to think in new ways. If they’re stuck in rigid ways of thinking or only push you down conventional paths, they might limit your growth instead of expanding it.

Avoid these pitfalls, and you’ll set yourself up for a mentorship that’s not just helpful, but transformational.

Before formalising the mentorship, it’s advisable to meet with your potential mentor to gauge compatibility and discuss expectations. Remember, the right mentor can significantly impact your career success, so take the time to choose wisely.

The Bottom Line

If you’re looking for someone to help you make progress in your career while sharing industry insights and war stories, a mentor is your go-to, but if you need someone to help you develop specific skills or achieve particular goals with military precision, a coach might be your best bet.

The best mentors aren’t just knowledgeable—they’re genuinely invested in your success, eager to see you grow, and willing to support you through challenges.

Remember, in the end, both mentors and coaches are invested in your success – they just take different routes to get you there. And sometimes, like the perfect cocktail, the right mix of both is what creates professional development magic.

The choice between mentoring and coaching isn’t about finding the “better” option – it’s about finding what works better for you at this particular moment in your professional journey.

“I am an experienced medical doctor (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert) with a special interest in stress management. I may have an impressive number of letters after my name, and I may have more than three decades of professional experience, but what qualifies me to excel at what I do is my intuitive understanding of my clients’ difficulties and my extensive personal experience of managing major life changes using strategies I developed over many years” Dr M Montagu – iNFINITE iMPACT

Citations:

Eby LT, Allen TD, Evans SC, Ng T, Dubois D. Does Mentoring Matter? A Multidisciplinary Meta-Analysis Comparing Mentored and Non-Mentored Individuals. J Vocat Behav. 2008 Apr;72(2):254-267.

Baranik L, Roling EA, Eby LT. Why Does Mentoring Work? The Role of Perceived Organizational Support. J Vocat Behav. 2010 Jun 1;76(3):366-373.

Kalpana Manthiram, Kathryn M Edwards, Reflections on the Mentor-Mentee Relationship, Journal of the Pediatric Infectious Diseases Society, Volume 10, Issue 11, November 2021, Pages 1040–1043.

Nunan, Jennerdene & Ebrahim, Aysha & Stander, Marius. (2023). Mentoring in the workplace: Exploring the experiences of mentor–mentee relations. SA Journal of Industrial Psychology. 49. 10.4102/sajip.v49i0.2067.

21 Unconventional Ways of Coping with the Winter Blues

Illustration of the Winter blues: 3 ladies, warmly-wrapped, drinking hot chocolate

Because sometimes, hot cocoa, reading under a weighted blanket and candle-lit bubble baths just don’t cut it.

Winter. I keep telling myself how spectacularly beautiful winter is this year, and how much I have to be grateful for, despite stepping knee-deep into a vile superglue-sticky mud soup each time I put the horses back into their paddock.

Sigh. Winter is not going well this year.

Ironically, and annoyingly contradictorily, during my hibernation this year, I’m working on my iNFINITE iMPACT Mentoring Program, which is all about living purposeful, meaningful and impactful lives.

So I decided I had better write a blog post to cheer us all up. Winter might be cold, but it doesn’t have to be dull. Try a few of these suggestions, and hopefully, your February will end up being less bleak-and-blue.

21 Unconventional Suggestions to help you cope with the Winter Blues:

  1. Create an indoor tropical paradise by transforming your bathroom into a spa-like environment. Run a hot shower to create steam, add tropical plants like orchids that thrive in humidity, play rainforest sounds, and use citrus-scented products. Spend 20 minutes each morning in your “personal tropics” to trick your mind into feeling like you’re somewhere warm and sunny.
  2. Start a “reverse hibernation” routine where you embrace being awake during the darkest hours. Wake up two hours before sunrise to accomplish creative tasks when the world is quiet and still. This reframes darkness as a special, productive time rather than something to dread. I’ll be awake anyway, so I might as well try it.
  3. Develop a relationship with a specific winter tree near your home. Visit it daily, photograph its changes, write about it, or sketch it. Learning to see beauty in its bare branches and watching for subtle changes helps shift perspective on winter from bleakness to rejuvenation.
  4. Create “light paintings” using long-exposure photography and LED lights in the dark winter evenings. This turns early sunsets into an opportunity for creative expression and produces stunning visual art that celebrates rather than resents the darkness.
  5. Start an indoor micro-greens garden specifically arranged to spell out positive words or create simple pictures. The act of growing something visually meaningful combines the mood-boosting effects of gardening with daily positive affirmations you can literally watch grow.
  6. Practice “weather empathy” by imagining yourself as different winter elements – become a snowflake, a frozen lake, or a bare tree. Spend 10 minutes daily moving, breathing, and experiencing the world as these elements. This mindfulness practice helps develop a deeper connection to winter’s essence.
  7. Create a “summer memory time capsule” with sand, seashells, and beach photos, but only allow yourself to open and experience it during specific challenging winter moments. This controlled access makes the summer connection more potent and special.
  8. Develop a winter-specific art practice using only materials found outside during winter – ice sculptures, frost drawings on windows, or arrangements of bare twigs. This transforms winter’s stark elements into sources of beauty and creativity.
  9. Start a “darkness diary” where you specifically document positive experiences -winter miracles-that could only happen in winter darkness – stargazing, seeing holiday lights, observing nocturnal animals. This reframes darkness as a unique opportunity rather than a SEVERE limitation.
  10. Create a “reverse seasonal wardrobe” by wearing your brightest summer clothes inside, layered. The secret pop of summer colours can provide a psychological boost, and the contrast becomes a personal, hidden celebration of seasonal dynamics.
  11. Develop a “snow sound” or “winter sound” library” by recording different types of snow – crunching footsteps, falling flakes, melting drops. Use these recordings to create unique winter meditation soundscapes that celebrate winter’s acoustic qualities.
  12. Practice “frost farming” by setting up different surfaces outside overnight to collect frost patterns, then document the unique crystalline formations each morning. This turns winter’s cold into an artistic collaboration with nature.
  13. Create a “warmth map” of your city or neighbourhood, finding and documenting all the places that offer unique types of warmth – the heat from a bakery’s vents, sunny window seats in cafes, or heated bus stop benches. This turns winter navigation into an urban adventure.
  14. Start a “winter flavour laboratory” where you specifically develop and test recipes that can only be made in cold temperatures – thick, creamy winter soup made from winter vegetables. This makes cold temperatures feel like a culinary asset.
  15. Develop a “shadow appreciation habit” during the low winter sun. Use the long shadows to create stories, measure time, or make art. This transforms the winter light conditions from a limitation into a unique creative tool.
  16. Create a “negative space garden” using dark fabrics and white or light-coloured plants like white orchids, peace lilies, and silver-leaved plants. This inverted colour scheme helps embrace winter’s stark contrasts while creating a living art installation that thrives in indoor light conditions.
  17. Develop a “cold-air aromatherapy” practice by preparing specific scent combinations that are only released outdoors in cold temperatures. Fill small muslin bags with winter-specific scents like pine, mint, and cedar, which become more potent when exposed to cold air, creating signature winter-only sensory experiences.
  18. Institute a “winter movement cartography” practice where you map your daily movements differently based on temperature, creating abstract art pieces that document your relationship with winter weather. Use different colors for various temperature ranges and line weights for wind conditions, transforming weather data into personal art.
  19. Establish a “frost window gallery” by deliberately creating conditions for frost patterns on specific windows, then using these as evolving backdrops for photography or meditation. Control the patterns by varying humidity and temperature near different sections of the window, creating intentional natural ice art.
  20. Practice “winter acoustics architecture” by finding and documenting how winter conditions change the sound landscape of your environment. Snow dampens some sounds while making others more prominent, and frozen lakes and trees create unique acoustic spaces. Create recordings or compositions that can only be replicated during winter conditions.

These approaches work by actively engaging with winter’s unique characteristics rather than just trying to endure them. They help transform the winter blues from something to survive into something to mindfully explore and appreciate in its own right.

Disclaimer: These affirmations are not a substitute for professional help or treatment. If you’re struggling with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or any other mental health issue, please seek support from a licensed therapist.

Apart from working on my mentoring program, I’m also updating my 5- and 7-day Camino de Santiago walking retreats here in the southwest of France. It’s a great way to escape to a warmer future. This should be unconventional suggestion no 21 really: Plan a Camino de Santiago walking retreat in the Spring.

  1. Transform winter blues into purposeful preparation for a soul-stirring Camino de Santiago walking retreat through southwest France. The full 6-week pilgrimage starts in Le Puy Route (Via Podiensis), one of the most scenic and historically meaningful paths through France to Santiago de Compostela.

  • Begin by creating a detailed walking training schedule that mirrors the Camino’s terrain. Start with local hills and gradually increase distance, wearing your actual pilgrimage gear.
  • Study medieval French pilgrimage history during dark evenings. Learn about the route’s sacred sites like the cathedral in Auch, the abbey of Flaran, and the Roman town of Eauze, dating from the year 400. Create a personal guidebook highlighting places that resonate with you.
  • Practice relevant French phrases daily, focusing on pilgrim-specific vocabulary. Learn traditional pilgrim greetings and the vocabulary you’ll need while you walk.
  • Prepare your “pilgrim’s kit” throughout winter – breaking in boots, testing different socks, finding the perfect backpack. Each item selection becomes a mindful decision rather than just last-minute shopping.
  • Start cooking meals based on French regional cuisine (Gascon) you’ll encounter – croustade, magret, confit de canard. This connects you to your future walk by taste while developing practical knowledge of local food traditions.
  • Create a wall map marking the major stops -Eauze, Nogaro, Aire-sur-Adour – and track your training progress in relation to actual Camino stages. Research the region’s weather to understand how your current conditions compare to what you might face on the trail.
  • Join online Camino communities and connect with other winter-training pilgrims, sharing preparation strategies and building anticipation together. Consider keeping a “pre-pilgrimage journal” documenting your physical and spiritual preparation journey.

The key aspect is viewing winter not as a barrier but as essential preparation time for this epic experience. Every cold-weather walk becomes a walking meditation, every dark evening an opportunity to plan and prepare. This transforms winter from a season to endure into a crucial period of preparation for a life-changing pilgrimage.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Get rid of the nagging emptiness of “Is this all there is?” and step into a life where your accomplishments feel as purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling as they are impressive. This unique mentoring program empowers you to unearth the mission that sets your soul on fire and aligns your life with what truly matters to you—beyond success metrics and societal expectations.

‘Coming Out’ as an Introvert After 50 Is the Ultimate Act of Rebellion

introvert vs extrovert a man walking the Camino de Santiago

Introverts vs Extroverts: Many introverts spend decades pretending to be extroverts to fit in but according to Laurie Helgoe, “Introverts are more effective leaders of proactive employees. When you have a creative, energetic workforce, an introvert is going to draw out that energy better.”

Introduction: The Private Struggle of Successful Professional Introverts

At some point in your career, you probably mastered the art of nodding strategically at networking events, perfected your power handshake, and even learned how to deliver a seemingly enthusiastic “Let’s grab coffee next week!” with zero actual intention of doing so—all while secretly fantasising about getting home asap to read that fascinating book in peace and quiet, surrounded by your pampered but well-adjusted collection of houseplants.

For decades, success has been synonymous with being seen. You had to speak up in meetings (even when it was pointless), say yes to social gatherings (even when they were soul-destroyingly boring), and maintain an “open-door policy” (even when you wanted to barricade it with a bookshelf). If you’ve ever felt like you were an extra performing in the grand production of Extrovert: The Musical, you’re not alone. Many highly successful professionals have spent years playing this role—only to wake up one day and realize… they’ve had it.

But what if midlife wasn’t just about career pivots and biohacking your way to eternal youth? What if it was the perfect time to do something truly radical? To finally step off the stage, embrace your quiet nature, and own the fact that you were never meant to be the loudest person in the room—just the most impactful one?

That’s right. Coming out as an introvert after 50 isn’t just a lifestyle choice. It’s an act of rebellion. And, as you’re about to see, it might just be the key to the freedom you’ve been yearning for.

The Great Extrovert Illusion: Why We Pretend to Be Something We’re Not

At some point, society collectively decided that success belongs to the loudest person in the room. The one who works the crowd, commands attention, and can deliver a TED Talk with exactly zero preparation. Meanwhile, introverts spent years perfecting the art of looking engaged in meetings while silently willing their colleagues to wrap it up asap.

“Speak up and stand out!”, “Network your way to the top!”, “Your net worth is your network!”

Society decided that being an extrovert meant being a leader, and being a leader meant being loud. The message was clear: if you wanted to succeed, you had to speak up. Loudly.

The corporate world, self-help books, and those terrifying “icebreaker” exercises have all reinforced the idea that being extroverted is the golden ticket to success. Even leadership training often boils down to “speak more, network harder, be visible”—as if professional excellence is a volume contest.

And so, like well-trained performers, introverts learned to play the game. We networked (strategically and in moderation), small-talked (efficiently and with an exit strategy), and showed up (while secretly counting the minutes until we could leave without offending anyone).

We sat through leadership seminars that insisted we had to “command the room”—when, in reality, we were far more effective at influencing it quietly from behind the scenes. We forced ourselves into networking events under the belief that “opportunity is just one conversation away”, only to discover that most of those conversations were about golf, weather, and someone’s new vacation home in Aspen.

But somewhere along the way, a quiet realisation set in: This is not me.

The thing about illusions is that they only work if everyone keeps believing in them.

We’ve been sold a false narrative. Success isn’t always about out-talking, out-networking, or out-socialising the competition—it can also be about leveraging the quiet strengths introverts possess in such abundance.

Because while the extroverts were busy working the room, the introverts were quietly owning it.

Why Introverts Over 50 Are Perfectly Positioned to Rebel

Something fascinating happens when you hit midlife. You stop bothering. Not in a reckless way (you still pay your taxes and floss occasionally), but in a liberating way. Not in a “let’s abandon all responsibilities and move to a yurt” kind of way, but in a “why am I still doing things I don’t actually enjoy?” kind of way. The pressure to prove yourself fades, and the desire to live on your own terms takes over.

For introverts, this is nothing short of revolutionary. You’ve already built a successful career, cultivated meaningful relationships, and accumulated more wisdom than you’ll ever need.

Now, you get to rewrite the rules.

For decades, you followed the script. You played the networking game, endured open-plan offices (why are they still a thing?), and smiled through team-building exercises designed by people who apparently thought trust falls were the pinnacle of professional bonding.

And now? You’ve earned the right to question all of it.

Because here’s the thing: when you reach 50, you realise that time is your most valuable asset. You stop chasing validation from external sources (do I really care about that ‘Top 50 Most Engaging Business Leaders’ award?), and you start prioritising what actually energises you.

It’s the moment you stop pretending that you enjoy spontaneous brainstorming sessions. That you thrive in high-energy networking events. That you love being part of a “collaborative, fast-paced team” when you prefer deep, focused work in blissful silence.

Fifty is when you realize that being introverted was never the problem. The problem was trying to succeed in a system designed to reward extroverted behaviours while undervaluing the real skills that drive impact—deep thinking, meaningful connection, and strategic decision-making.

The world is finally catching up.

Gone are the days when success belonged only to the loudest voice in the room. The modern business landscape now values what introverts bring to the table. Focused expertise, thoughtful leadership, and a preference for meaningful over superficial interactions? These aren’t just nice to have—they’re now essential.

So, why keep pretending?

Why keep playing by outdated rules when now is the perfect moment to rewrite them?

Instead of forcing yourself into draining social scenarios, you start designing your career (and your life) around your strengths. Instead of chasing influence the extrovert way (constant visibility), you start embracing influence the introvert way (intentional impact).

The modern world is practically begging for introverts to step into their full power. Meaningful leadership is in. Remote work? Absolutely in. The traditional model of success—one that required constant self-promotion and aggressive networking—is crumbling. And introverts? We’re thriving.

The Radical Advantages of an Unapologetic Introvert

Let’s break down why owning your quiet nature is your ultimate power source:

1. Introvert vs Extrovert Expertise

While extroverts are busy bouncing from one Zoom call to another, introverts are quietly getting things done. Focus, reflection, and mastery are our natural superpowers. And in a world increasingly driven by real expertise (not just visibility), this is a serious advantage.

2. Selective Influence

Contrary to popular belief, the most powerful people aren’t the ones constantly talking. They’re the ones people lean in to listen to. Introverts build lasting influence—not by being everywhere, but by showing up intentionally and delivering real value.

3. Authentic Leadership

Look at some of the most respected leaders in the world—Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Barack Obama. None of them are social butterflies. They lead through intelligence, strategy, and presence, not performance. Turns out, you don’t need to be the loudest voice to make the biggest impact.

4. Calm in the Chaos

In a noisy, overstimulated world, people crave depth. They’re drawn to those who offer clarity, wisdom, and substance. As an introvert, you have the power to be the calm in the chaos, the voice of reason in a sea of noise.

How to ‘Come Out’ as an Introvert

Now, let’s talk introvert vs extrovert strategy. If you’re ready to fully embrace your introverted nature, here’s how to do it:

Step 1: Own Your Energy

Stop feeling guilty for needing alone time. It’s not avoidance—it’s a timely, strategic recharge. Schedule solitude like you would any high-priority meeting. Your best ideas, insights, and decisions come from moments of silent contemplation, not constant interaction.

Step 2: Redefine Networking (Without the Awkward Small Talk)

Forget mingling in overcrowded rooms where the only escape is the bathroom. Instead, build connections your way. One-on-one conversations. Curated groups. High-value discussions. introvert-directed networking isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality.

Step 3: Design Your Life Using Your Strengths

Success should fit you, not the other way around. That means:
✅ Cutting unnecessary meetings
✅ Creating a work environment that fuels focus
✅ Leveraging writing, thought leadership, or small-group engagements instead of large-scale presentations
✅ Saying no more often (without an elaborate excuse—“No.” is a full sentence)

What Do We Do About the Extroverts?

Now, before the extroverts start sharpening their pitchforks, let’s be clear: this isn’t an introvert vs extrovert battle. No one is suggesting we banish all extroverts to an eternal networking event (though let’s be honest, some of them would love that).

The truth is that the modern world needs both.

For too long, we’ve been operating under a system where extroverted qualities were prioritised—quick thinking, constant activity, endless collaboration—while introverted strengths were, at best, overlooked, at worst, suppressed. Balance is what we need. Just as introverts benefit from the occasional nudge out of their comfort zone (yes, sometimes that coffee meeting IS worth it), extroverts thrive when they embrace a little introspection (you don’t actually need to schedule back-to-back meetings to feel productive).

The best teams, businesses, and relationships aren’t built on a single mode of operating—they thrive on a diversity of thought processes and approaches to activity. Extroverts bring momentum, enthusiasm, and the ability to spark immediate connections. Introverts bring reflection, strategy, and the ability to sustain those connections long after the initial excitement fades. One fuels the fire, the other keeps it burning.

So, this isn’t about declaring an introvert revolution where we seize control and ban small talk (tempting, I know). It’s about shifting toward a more balanced approach—one where thoughtful leadership is recognised as just as powerful as charismatic leadership. Where intense focus is as valued as quick decision-making. And where success isn’t about who speaks the loudest, but about who brings the most meaningful AND practical contributions to the table.

Because in the end, it’s not about being more extroverted or more introverted. It’s about being more authentic. And the big 5-0 is the perfect time to embrace that.

The Silent Revolution: Succeeding on Your Own Terms

At the end of the day, coming out as an introvert isn’t about rejecting success—it’s about redefining it.

It’s about realising that you don’t have to outtalk anyone. You don’t have to push yourself into draining social situations. And you certainly don’t have to play by outdated rules that aren’t of any use to you.

Now is the time to own your natural strengths and use them to create impact your way.

This isn’t just a personal shift—it’s part of a larger movement. More and more, businesses are recognising the power of introverted leadership. Reflection and thoughtfulness are finally being valued alongside visibility and charisma.

And the best part? You don’t have to announce your rebellion. No grand declarations, no dramatic exits from the corporate world (unless you want to). The power of being an introvert is that the change happens subtly, deliberately—until one day, you wake up and realise you’re living life entirely on your own terms.

Sometimes, the most revolutionary thing you can do… is simply be yourself.

Start Your Revolution in the South of France

So here’s the question: if getting to your fifties motivates you to finally stop pretending and start living as your true self, where will your next steps take you?

For introverts, transformation doesn’t happen in crowded rooms or noisy debates—it happens in quiet moments of reflection, in the space between thoughts, in the rhythmic motion of putting one foot in front of the other. And there’s no better place to experience that than on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela.

A 7-day From Troubled to Triumphant Camino walking retreat isn’t just a journey through breathtaking landscapes—it’s a journey back to yourself. It’s a chance to trade small talk for meaningful solitude, social obligations for deep personal insight, and the constant need to “perform” for the simple act of living up to other people’s expectations.

If you’re ready to stop fitting in and start walking your own path—both literally and figuratively—then maybe it’s time to take that first step.


“I am an experienced medical doctor (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert) with a special interest in stress management. I may have an impressive number of letters after my name, and I may have more than three decades of professional experience, but what qualifies me to excel at what I do is my intuitive understanding of my clients’ difficulties and my extensive personal experience of managing major life changes using strategies I developed over many years” Dr M Montagu – iNFINITE iMPACT

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during Life Quakes Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. These retreats blend reflection and relaxation in a way that feels more like an exciting adventure than hard work. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Background

I originally got the idea for this introvert vs extrovert post after I read Candace Atamanik’s article “The Introverted Leader: Examining the Role of Personality and Environment” (2013). Her study has shown that introverted leaders can be as effective as extroverted leaders and that there were no statistically significant differences in direct report ratings of leader effectiveness between introverts and extroverts in both academic and corporate environments. This indicates that introversion is not an obstacle to leadership performance in either competitive or nurturing environments.

Research on introverted leadership has expanded significantly in recent years, challenging traditional notions of effective leadership. Studies have explored various aspects of introverted leadership, including its effectiveness, challenges, and potential advantages.

Research has revealed that introverted leaders face discrimination in the workplace. Employers often fail to recognise the potential of introverted leaders, creating unfair leadership roadblocks. This bias stems from the “extrovert ideal” in leadership, which can impact how introverts think about themselves as leaders.

Introverted leaders often exhibit participatory or transformational leadership styles. They are known for being considerate managers who develop their followers’ skills, celebrate accomplishments, and help achieve ambitions.

Recent research has begun to explore the concept of an “introverted leadership advantage” in the workplace of tomorrow. A 2023 study investigated the relationship between extraversion, its facets, and leadership effectiveness, finding unexpected results that challenge traditional assumptions about extraversion in leadership. (Liegl, S., & Furtner, M. R. (2023). Introverted and yet effective? A faceted approach to the relationship between leadership and extraversion. Frontiers in Psychology14, 1185271.)

As organisations recognise the value of diverse leadership styles, the future looks promising for introverted leaders who embrace their authentic strengths. Ongoing research continues to shed light on the unique contributions and potential of introverted leaders in various organisational contexts.

Citations:

  • Atamanik, C. (2013). The introverted leader: Examining the role of personality and environment. Center for Leadership Current Research, 2.
  • Blevins, D. P., Stackhouse, M. R. D., & Dionne, S. D. (2022). Righting the balance: Understanding introverts (and extraverts) in the workplace. International Journal of Management Reviews, 24, 78-98.
  • Cain, S. (2013). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. Crown Publishing
  • Farrell, M. (2017). Leadership reflections: Extrovert and introvert leaders. Journal of Library Administration, 57, 436-443.
  • Smith, D. F. (2018). Mining the gold that is your introvert employee. Journal of Financial Planning, Best of 2018, 38-39.
  • Stephens-Craig, D., Kuofie, M., & Dool, R. (2015). Perception of introverted leaders by mid to high-level leaders. Journal of Marketing and Management, 6(1), 62-75.

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