Author: Margaretha Montagu

How self-hypnosis can help you reset your emotional state and empower you to thrive through life’s transitions.

Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from the world around you? In a world that glorifies busyness, burnout has become a steadily spreading epidemic that steals our energy, creativity and productivity. What if you could rewire your mind to recharge, refocus, and reclaim your spark—right from the comfort of your own home? Hypnotising yourself is a powerful yet often overlooked tool that can help combat extreme physical and mental fatigue.

What is Self-Hypnosis?

Self-hypnosis is a self-directed technique that allows you to enter a state of deep relaxation and focus. By quieting the conscious mind and accessing the subconscious, you can reprogram negative thoughts, reduce stress, and regain control over your emotions. It’s not magic—it’s a science-backed approach to managing your mental and emotional well-being.

Can Anyone Hypnotise Themselves?

Yes, almost everyone can hypnotise themselves. Unlike stage hypnosis, self-hypnosis is a natural state that most people enter regularly every day without realising it. For example, if you’ve ever been so absorbed in a book, film, or task that you lost track of time, you’ve experienced a form of hypnosis.

Self-hypnosis is accessible to most people because:

1. It’s a Natural State

Self-hypnosis taps into a state of focused attention that is familiar to everyone. Whether it’s daydreaming, meditating, or being “in the zone” while working, people naturally slip into hypnotic states. It is simply about intentionally guiding yourself into this state.

2. No Special Skills Required

Hypnotising yourself doesn’t require any special skills. It’s about learning simple relaxation techniques and using positive suggestions to guide your subconscious mind. With practice, anyone can become proficient.

3. Guided Self-Hypnosis

For those who find it difficult to relax or focus, guided self-hypnosis recordings can help. These audio programs provide step-by-step instructions to guide you into a hypnotic state, making it easier to learn the process. You can also write and record your own self-hypnosis scripts (see below.)

4. Individual Variability

While most people can achieve some level of self-hypnosis, the depth of the hypnotic state can vary. Some may enter a deep, thoroughly relaxed state, while others experience a lighter level of relaxation. Both levels can provide benefits. So while individual experiences may vary, almost everyone can benefit from self-hypnosis at some level.

If you have a specific medical condition or are experiencing mental health issues, it’s always best to consult with a healthcare professional or a licensed practitioner first. They can help you determine if hypnosis is appropriate for you and if it will be helpful in your specific case.

Counteracting Burnout: A Path to Renewed Inspiration and Motivation

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired; it’s a complex response to prolonged stress, often accompanied by feelings of helplessness, mental fog, and a loss of motivation. Here’s how self-hypnosis addresses these symptoms:

1. Deep Relaxation: Self-hypnosis calms your nervous system, reducing the fight-or-flight response that keeps you in a state of constant stress. With practice, you can teach your body and mind to relax more deeply than during regular rest.
2. Reprogramming Negative Thought Patterns: Burnout often brings a wave of limiting beliefs like “I can’t keep up” or “I’m not good enough.” Self-hypnosis allows you to replace these thoughts with positive affirmations, shifting your mindset from overwhelmed to empowered.
3. Restoring Mental Clarity: A cluttered mind can make even simple tasks feel insurmountable. Self-hypnosis helps clear mental fog by promoting calm and focus, enabling you to think more clearly and make decisions with confidence.
4. Revitalizing Motivation and Creativity: One of the hallmarks of burnout is the loss of motivation and creative spark. Self-hypnosis reconnects you with your inner drive, helping you visualize success and reignite passion for your work and life goals.

How to make Self-Hypnosis work for You

1. Find a peaceful spot where you can be alone and undisturbed for about 10-15 minutes.
2. Get comfortable, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes and begin to take slow, deep breaths, letting your body relax progressively from your head all the way to your toes.
3. Choose a positive affirmation or focus point for your session. If you’re addressing burnout, you might try something like, “With every breath, my energy is restored” or “I release tension and welcome calm.”
4. As you continue breathing deeply, visualize yourself stepping down a staircase or walking along a tranquil path. With each step, allow yourself to sink deeper into a state of relaxation.
5. Use imagery that feels comforting to you, like memories of a peaceful retreat or a serene walk in nature.
6. When you feel fully relaxed, begin to repeat your affirmations. Focus on feeling completely at ease, allowing those peaceful feelings to deepen with every breath.
7. When you’re ready to finish, gently count from 1 to 5, telling yourself you’re becoming more awake and energized. Open your eyes, feeling refreshed and clear-minded.

For a more detailed description of how to hypnotise yourself, you can download two How to Write a Self-Hypnosis Scripts from my full article, “Break Free from Burnout: Harness the Power of Self-Hypnosis“.

CLICK HERE to download your self-hypnosis scripts, discover the next steps in unlocking your mind’s potential and find out how self-hypnosis can truly transform burnout into a breakthrough.

Are you going through the motions at work, feeling like something is missing—despite the promotions, paychecks, and accolades?

Imagine waking up every day with a deep sense of purpose, knowing that the work you do isn’t just paying the bills but fulfilling your soul. If you’ve ever felt the nagging void of doing work that lacks meaning, it’s time to discover how aligning your career with your true purpose can transform not just your job—but your entire life. Ready to stop settling for ‘just a job’ and start living your life purpose.

In our fast-paced, achievement-driven world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle of work without reflecting on its deeper meaning or whether it aligns with our true purpose. For many, the idea of “living my life purpose” is an elusive concept—something reserved for a select few who seem to know from birth what they are meant to do. But the reality is that aligning our work with our life purpose is not only attainable, it’s essential for long-term work satisfaction.

What Is Your Life Purpose?

Our life purpose is the underlying reason that motivates us and that gives our life significance. Unlike a career or job title, which may change throughout your life, your life purpose tends to remain consistent, guiding your choices and actions in subtle but powerful ways.

Purpose doesn’t have to be a grand or monumental goal. It can simply be the impact we want to have on others, the joy we want to bring into the world, or the legacy we want to leave behind.

Signs Your Work Isn’t Aligned with Your Life Purpose

One of the clearest signs that the work you’re doing isn’t aligned with your life purpose is a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction or disconnection. Even if you’re successful by conventional standards, you may feel like something is missing. You might be chronically stressed, and end up with burnout, which can indicate that your work isn’t meeting your deeper needs.

Here are some common signs that it might be time to evaluate and adjust the alignment between your work and life purpose:

• Feeling unfulfilled despite hitting goals or making progress at work
• Lack of enthusiasm for tasks that used to inspire and motivate you
• Constantly daydreaming about doing something else
• An ongoing desire to put more meaning into your work

Steps to Align Your Work with Your Purpose

Identify What Truly Matters to You Start by reflecting on your values, passions, and strengths. What are the moments in your life where you’ve felt the most alive, fulfilled, or inspired? These moments often contain clues about your deeper purpose. Ask yourself:

• What are the values I hold dearest?
• What activities make me lose track of time?
• When do I feel most fulfilled in my work?

Define Your Personal Mission Once you’ve identified what matters to you, define your personal mission—your “why.” This doesn’t need to be complicated or perfect. It could be as simple as “I want to inspire creativity in others,” or “I want to make people feel heard and understood.” Defining this mission helps clarify the kind of work that will feel purposeful to you.

Evaluate Your Current Work Look at your current job or career path through the lens of your personal mission. Does it align with what you find meaningful? If not, consider what small changes you can make in your current role. Sometimes, we don’t need a radical career shift but rather an adjustment in our focus or responsibilities. For example, if your purpose is to help others, could you take on a mentorship role within your organisation? Could you pivot to a project that’s more aligned with your values?

If you standing at a crossroads or stuck in the middle of a major life change and feel unsure of your next steps, it may be time to gain the clarity, motivation, and direction you need to align with your true purpose. My ‘Discover Your Life Purpose after a Life Transition‘ online course will help you create your next chapter—both personally and professionally. Ready to step into your future with confidence? Find out more about this course today!“

The Benefits of Purpose-Driven Work

When your work aligns with your life purpose, you experience a profound sense of fulfilment that goes beyond external achievements. Your energy increases, your creativity explodes, and you find meaning in everyday tasks. Rather than chasing success or validation from outside sources, you cultivate a deeper sense of contentment because you know that what you’re doing aligns with who you are and the impact you want to make in the world.

People who live and work in alignment with their purpose tend to experience:

• Increased resilience in the face of challenges
• Greater motivation and enthusiasm for their work
• Deeper satisfaction with their accomplishments
• A sense of clarity and direction in life

What matters most in a purposeful life is giving one’s fullest strength to one’s cause. Great efforts assure satisfaction, while common efforts can lead to regrets. – John Soforic

Reminder

Aligning the work we do with our life purpose isn’t just a luxury for a few—it’s something everyone can achieve with intentional action. The journey to purposeful work may take time, but it is well worth the effort. When you find that alignment, your work becomes not just a job, but a meaningful expression of who you are.

And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive Friesian and Falabella horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a From Troubled to Triumphant transformational retreat to reinvent yourself, rewrite your story and start your sensational next chapter.

Imagine waking up one day and realising the person staring back at you in the mirror looks like a complete stranger. Not because of an impromptu hairstyle change or the appearance of a few extra grey hairs, but because life has changed so dramatically that you do not recognise yourself anymore.

Major life changes—whether it’s a career shift, loss of a job, starting a new business, moving to a new country, an empty nest or losing someone you love—can stir up feelings of disorientation, frustration and confusion. The priorities that once guided your choices may no longer seem relevant. You might feel unmoored, like a ship without a sail, grappling with the question: Who is that person in the mirror?

An Identity Crisis may make you feel paralysed, lost and insecure, unable to decide what you want to do next.

If you are no longer a doctor, wife, parent, teacher, chef…what are you now?

I know that feeling well. Losing your sense of identity after a major life change is a fairly common occurrence. When I had to stop working as a medical doctor due to problems with my eyes, I left lost. If I’m no longer a doctor, what am I? What will I do now? How will I earn a living?

I have learned to accept the identity crises that follow major life changes not as an end, but as a new beginning.

Imagine this: You’ve spent years climbing the corporate ladder. Then one day, you leave the office (voluntarily or otherwise), and suddenly, your schedule is devoid of PowerPoint presentations and quarterly goals. You’re standing in line at a coffee shop, feeling oddly unmoored. “What do people even do at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday?” you wonder. These moments may come with an internal narrative of fear, failure and self-criticism: “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

If you are going through a major life change, how will you know if you are suffering from an identity crisis? You may:

Feel Disconnected from Your Former Self

One of the most noticeable signs of a loss of identity is a sense of disconnection from who you once were. You might no longer identify with the roles, routines, or labels that previously defined you. Things that used to bring you joy, like hobbies, work, or relationships, may no longer resonate. It’s as if you’re living someone else’s life, going through the motions without a clear sense of who you truly are. This disconnect can make it difficult to find meaning in day-to-day activities.

Feel Confused and Uncertain

A loss of identity often brings with it a profound sense of confusion and uncertainty. You may find yourself asking, “Who am I now?” as the roles you once played—whether as a professional, parent, or partner—may no longer feel relevant. This shift can leave you feeling directionless, with no clear sense of purpose or understanding of where your life is heading. As a result, your goals and values may seem blurred, further amplifying this uncertainty.

Experience Emotional Instability

When your identity is in flux, your emotions often reflect this instability. You may experience heightened anxiety, frustration, or sadness, often tied to your struggle to recognise yourself in your current situation. At times, you might feel emotionally lost or as if you’re “floating” without firm grounding in any sense of self. The smallest of changes can seem overwhelming because you’re no longer sure what anchors you.

Withdraw from Social Connections

Another common characteristic of identity loss is a tendency to withdraw from social circles. You might feel disconnected from friends, family, or communities that were once central to your life because you no longer feel you fit into the roles you played within them. This can lead to isolation, as you sense that others don’t understand the shifts you’re experiencing. What was once familiar now feels foreign, leaving you to retreat further into yourself.

Notice a Shifting of Your Priorities

Alongside identity loss comes a shift in priorities. What once felt vital to your happiness or success may suddenly seem trivial or irrelevant. You may begin to question the values and goals that once drove your decisions, leading to a period of introspection and reevaluation. The ambitions that used to inspire you may no longer hold the same power, and you may struggle to find motivation in areas that were once central to your life.

Become More Self-Critical

A loss of identity can often bring with it a harsh inner dialogue. You may find yourself frequently questioning your decisions, doubting your abilities, or feeling like you’re not contributing enough. This self-criticism can create feelings of inadequacy, as though you’ve failed by not maintaining a stable sense of who you are. It’s common to feel as though you’ve “lost” yourself and to criticise your inability to regain control.

Ask Yourself Existential Questions

During this period, it’s natural to begin questioning the bigger picture. You might start pondering larger existential questions about life, meaning, and purpose, searching for a deeper sense of fulfilment. As you seek clarity, spirituality or new philosophical paths may appeal to you, offering the hope of aligning with your evolving understanding of who you are—or who you’re becoming.

Struggle to Define Who You Are in Relationships

As your sense of self shifts, so too do your relationships. You may struggle to navigate your roles within romantic, familial, or professional relationships, feeling uncertain about how to relate to others as the person they once knew. This dissonance can lead to confusion or tension in these connections, especially if the changes in your identity are significant or sudden.

Feel “Stuck” or Demotivated

A common characteristic of identity loss is feeling stuck or unmotivated. Without a clear sense of who you are, it can be difficult to make future plans or feel enthusiastic about what’s ahead. You may feel as though you’re stagnating, with no clear path forward, and this lack of direction can make it hard to take decisive actions or pursue meaningful goals.

Search for New Ways to Define Yourself

Finally, a loss of identity often initiates a search for new ways to define who you are. You may begin to explore new interests, careers, or social circles in an effort to rebuild your sense of self. This process can involve a lot of trial and error, as you experiment with different roles, activities, and identities to see what feels authentic. Though this period can be challenging, it also holds the potential for profound growth and renewal.

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During an identity crisis, I have found both journaling and affirmations invaluable. Below are five powerful affirmations I have used to redefine who I am after a major life change:

1. “I am not defined by my past roles, occupation or circumstances; I have the power to shape who I am going to be next.” This affirmation encourages you to accept change and the freedom to evolve beyond your former identity.
2. “The person I am becoming is aligned with my current values, priorities and purpose.” This affirmation facilitates the process of self-discovery and alignment with your current aspirations.
3. “I am continuously growing, evolving, and becoming the best version of myself.” This reminds you that change is a natural part of life and that growth is an ongoing process.
4. “I release what no longer serves me and welcome the person I am meant to be.” By focusing on release and renewal, this affirmation helps in letting go of old identities and initiates personal transformation.
5. “I honour the lessons from my past, but I am not bound by them. I create my future with intention.” This affirmation acknowledges the value of past experiences while empowering you to consciously design your future, free from limitations.

You’ll find hundreds of journal prompts scattered throughout the articles on this website. Many of these I use to help guests who attend my Next Chapter Camino de Santiago Walking Retreats resolve their identity crises with the assistance of my horses. We also work on implementing tailor-made affirmations, similar to the ones above.

I am convinced that one of the most powerful ways to navigate life transitions is to step outside of your everyday environment, and there’s no better way to do that than to walk the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. This ancient pilgrimage path offers not only physical distance from your everyday life but also the mental space to reflect, realign, and rediscover who you are becoming.

During my Next Chapter retreats, you can process your identity crisis surrounded by stunning landscapes and the support of a small like-minded group. The experience offers an opportunity to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and listen to your inner voice. Many participants leave with not only a renewed sense of self but also a sense of clarity about their next steps.

Conclusion

Life transitions can feel disorienting, but they also present a powerful opportunity for growth. Losing your sense of identity and finding that your priorities have changed is part of the human experience—one that allows you to redefine what matters most and embrace new possibilities. By reflecting and giving yourself the space to reconnect with your core, you’ll emerge stronger and more authentic than ever before.

If you’re ready to take that step, consider joining us on a Next Chapter Camino de Santiago walking retreat, where you’ll have the time and space to rediscover your identity and reclaim your purpose. The road ahead is full of possibilities and opportunities.

If you try to Navigate Life without Your Inner Compass during a Major Life Change, You are going to get Lost

Meet Your Inner Compass

Your “inner compass” refers to your internal guide or sense of direction, shaped by your core values, beliefs, instincts, and desires. It represents the intuitive sense of what feels right or wrong for you personally, helping you to navigate life’s choices and decisions in a way that aligns with your true self. It is one of your greatest allies when you are going through life changes, challenges and crises.

“In 2020, during the pandemic, which was a major life crisis for most of us, with too much time on my hands, I concluded that I was subconsciously ignoring my inner compass. I was stuck in a dead-end relationship. After investing significant time and energy into this relationship, it was difficult to walk away. I stayed, for more than a decade, because I felt I’ve already put in so much effort and I kept hoping that it will eventually pay off. I thought, “I’ve already come this far, maybe just a little more effort will make things better,” even though my inner compass suggests otherwise.

I was wearing a mask, presenting a version of myself that didn’t fully reflect who I truly am. I adopted behaviours, attitudes, and a lifestyle that didn’t resonate with my inner values. I fell in love not just with who my partner was, but with who I believed he could become. I sometimes saw glimpses of the person I wanted my partner to be and held on to the hope that this version would eventually emerge. This attachment to potential made it difficult to acknowledge the truth of who he really was. I discovered that if you’re not following your inner compass, you often end up feeling lost.” S. Valentine

Why do we ignore our Inner Compass?

• We might ignore our inner compass out of fear of being alone or due to emotional or financial dependency on certain situations or people.
• The desire for approval and acceptance can lead us to seek validation from others or feel pressured by social or cultural expectations to conform.
• Avoiding confrontation or difficult conversations, along with discomfort with change or disrupting the status quo, can cause us to disregard our inner guidance.
• Low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness might make us believe we don’t deserve better or fear we won’t find another opportunity, leading us to ignore our true feelings.
• A deep emotional attachment to certain memories or experiences, along with nostalgia for better times, can make it hard to listen to our inner voice.
• The belief that things will improve and the investment in the hope that circumstances will change can keep us from following our inner compass.
• Reluctance to let go due to the time and energy already invested, combined with a commitment to making things work at all costs, can cause us to overlook our true feelings.
• Denial of the current reality and a tendency to overlook or dismiss red flags can prevent us from acknowledging what our inner compass is telling us.
• A belief that things will eventually get better and misplaced faith in the strength of our current path can lead to disregarding inner signals.

To avoid losing our way during life transitions, we need to mindfully pay attention to what our Inner Compass is trying to tell us.

How do you know when you are back on track following your inner compass?

If you are following your true inner compass you are aligned with your core values: Your core values are the principles that matter most to you, such as integrity, compassion, freedom, or generosity. These values are your personal moral compass, guiding your decisions and behaviours. When you align your actions with your core values, you’re ensuring that what you do reflects who you truly are. For example, if you value honesty, you’ll feel compelled to act with transparency, even when it’s difficult. If you value creativity, you’ll seek opportunities to express yourself in innovative ways. This alignment creates a sense of harmony within yourself because your outer actions reflect your inner beliefs.

If you are following your true inner compass you are listening to your intuition: Intuition is often described as a gut feeling or an inner knowing that doesn’t necessarily arise from conscious reasoning. It’s that quiet, sometimes subtle voice that tells you when something feels right or wrong, even if you can’t immediately explain why. Intuition often manifests as physical sensations in your body—tightness in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, or a sense of calmness and peace. These sensations are your body’s way of signalling whether something aligns with your inner truth. Trusting your gut feelings means paying attention to these signals and taking them seriously, even if you can’t logically explain them at the moment. For example, you might feel an unexplainable sense of discomfort about a decision that seems perfectly rational on the surface. Trusting your gut in this scenario might mean reevaluating the decision or considering alternatives.

If you are following your true inner compass you are pursuing what you really want: True desires are those that emerge from your authentic self, not from societal expectations, peer pressure, or external validation. These desires are deeply connected to your passions, dreams, and what genuinely brings you joy and fulfilment. When you pursue these desires, you are following a path that feels deeply satisfying and meaningful. It’s about recognizing what you truly want, beyond what you’ve been told you should want, and making choices that lead you closer to those goals. This could mean choosing a career that aligns with your passion, engaging in hobbies that light you up, or building relationships that nourish your soul.

If you are following your true inner compass you trust yourself: Trusting yourself is an essential part of following your inner compass. It involves believing in your ability to make the right decisions for your life, even when those decisions are unconventional or go against the advice of others. Self-trust grows from self-awareness and experience; the more you practice listening to and acting on your inner guidance, the more confident you become in your ability to navigate life’s challenges. Trusting yourself also means accepting that you won’t always have all the answers immediately, but believing that you can figure things out as you go.

If you are following your true inner compass you are authentic in your choices: Authenticity is about being true to yourself in every aspect of your life. It’s the courage to make choices that reflect your true self, rather than trying to fit into moulds that others have set for you. When you are authentic, you don’t compromise your values or desires to please others; instead, you live in a way that is congruent with your inner truths. This can sometimes be challenging, as it may require going against the grain or making difficult decisions. However, being authentic in your choices ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life because you are living in alignment with who you truly are.

Following your inner compass is about living a life that is true to who you are at your core. This involves an acute alignment between your actions, decisions, and the inner truths that define you—your values, instincts, and objectives. It’s a process of tuning in to what resonates with you on a fundamental level, and then allowing that resonance to guide your choices.

Journaling Prompts to Help You Follow Your Inner Compass during a Life Crisis

• When have I felt the most ‘in tune’ with myself? What was I doing, and how did it feel?”
  Think about the times in your life when you felt deeply connected to your true self—when your actions, thoughts, and feelings were perfectly aligned. What were you doing during these moments? Were you pursuing a passion, spending time with loved ones, or simply enjoying solitude? Describe these experiences in detail, focusing on the emotions you felt and why these moments stood out to you. Then, reflect on how you can bring more of these ‘in tune’ experiences into your daily life. What small changes could you make to feel more aligned with yourself on a regular basis?

• What desires or dreams do I keep coming back to, and why do they resonate with me?”
  Identify the dreams, goals, or desires that persistently occupy your thoughts, even if you’ve pushed them aside. Why do these particular desires resonate with you? What deeper need or value do they represent? Perhaps they align with your passions, your desire for freedom, or your need for self-expression. Write about the emotional connection you have with these dreams. Then, explore the barriers that have kept you from pursuing them. What small, actionable steps can you take to begin moving toward these desires? How would your life change if you started to honour and follow these dreams?

• How do I typically feel when I ignore my intuition? How can I start trusting it more?”
  Reflect on past experiences when you had a gut feeling or an instinct about something, but chose to ignore it. What was the outcome of that decision? How did it make you feel emotionally and physically? Did you experience regret, frustration, or a sense of misalignment? Now, think about what it would take for you to start trusting your intuition more. What are the small steps you can take to listen to that inner voice, such as checking in with yourself before making decisions or paying attention to physical sensations like tension or ease in your body? Write about how trusting your intuition could positively impact your life and help you make decisions that feel right for you.

Following your inner compass is not just about making decisions, but about living a life that is deeply aligned with your authentic self. It’s a holistic approach to life that requires self-awareness, courage, and a commitment to your true values, instincts, and desires.

If you have difficulty following your Inner Compass during a Life Crisis, I can help. You can either invest in my Discover Your Life Purpose after a Life Transition online retreat to gain the clarity, motivation and direction you need to manifest your next chapter in both your personal and professional life, or join me here on my little farm in the south of France for a Camino de Santiago de Compostela Your Next Chapter walking retreat.

The Perils and Pitfalls of Penning Your First Masterpiece (and Why It’s Totally Worth It)

So, you’ve decided to write a book. Congratulations and welcome to the writing community! You’ve chosen a path that combines the soul-crushing despair of self-doubt with the thrilling ecstasy of a perfectly crafted sentence—usually separated by about three weeks of staring at a blank screen.

Writing is often romanticised as a solitary, introspective activity—one where you’re churning out innumerable pages of brilliance in the soft glow of a desk lamp. In reality, it’s more like wrestling with an invisible foe while your inner critic heckles from the sidelines. As a new writer, you’ll encounter struggles that make you question your sanity, your talent, and possibly even your life choices. But fear not, fellow scribbler! Every author, from the novice to the seasoned pro, has faced these same challenges. The good news? They survived, and so will you.

In this article, we’re diving into 15 of the most common struggles new writers face. From the endless battle to find your voice to the gut-wrenching fear of rejection, we’ll explore each hurdle with a healthy dose of humour and some practical advice.

As a novice writer, you are going to struggle to:

1. Finding Your Own Voice

• Struggle: Many new writers are desperate to find their own “voice,” that elusive element that supposedly makes their writing unique. It’s like hunting for the Holy Grail, except instead of a cup, you’re looking for a metaphor that isn’t a cliché.
• Why: The problem is, in the beginning, most writers are more parrot than poet. You’ve read the greats, and suddenly every sentence you write sounds suspiciously like something stolen from Hemingway, Austen, or whichever author you last binge-read. Developing your own voice means wriggling out of the literary skins you’ve been trying on and figuring out how you, just you, would tell the story. Spoiler alert: it takes time and a lot of awkward, cringe-worthy drafts.

2. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

• Struggle: Eh oui, imposter syndrome—the shadowy companion of every creative effort. You’re just not a good enough writer; you’re a fraud, a time-waster, a charlatan devoid of any skill! It’s only a matter of time before someone notices your complete lack of talent and barrs your access to the writing community.
• Why: Writing is personal, which means every word you type is a little piece of your soul on display. And let’s be honest, what if your soul is, you know, kind of boring? It’s natural to doubt yourself when you’re pouring your innermost thoughts onto the page and then staring at them, wondering why anyone would want to read this nonsense. Keep writing anyway, despite the gnawing suspicion that you’re a literary con artist.

3. Learning about Plotting and Structure

• Struggle: Plotting is like assembling IKEA furniture. You start with enthusiasm, confident that you’ve got this, but soon enough, you’re surrounded by scattered ideas, a confusing set of instructions, and a growing sense that something important is missing.
• Why: New writers often struggle to keep their stories on track. It’s easy to wander down narrative dead-ends, get tangled in subplots, or discover that your climax is more of a dead-in-the-water anti-climax. Structure is supposed to be the scaffolding that holds your story up, but for many beginners, it feels more like a straitjacket that stifles creativity. The challenge is learning how to use structure to your advantage without it suffocating your writing attempts—and without losing your will to live.

4. Writing Consistently and Remaining Disciplined

• Struggle: Writing consistently is like going to the gym: everyone knows they should do it, but somehow, Netflix always interferes. The dream is to be that disciplined writer who churns out 2,000 words a day. The reality? A sporadic sprint that leaves you breathless and questioning your life choices.
• Why: Discipline is the difference between a finished manuscript and a pile of half-baked ideas. New writers often romanticize the writing process, imagining inspiration as a constant companion. But inspiration is more like that unreliable friend who never shows up when you need them. The real work happens on the days when you’d rather do literally anything else. Developing a consistent routine is about embracing the grind and accepting that some days, writing feels less like art and more like trying to wring out a dry sponge.

5. Overcoming Writer’s Block

• Struggle: Writer’s block is the bogeyman of the literary world—an invisible, malevolent force that saps your creativity and leaves you staring at a blinking cursor for hours on end. It’s like your brain has gone on strike, and all you can do is wait for it to start working again.
• Why: Writer’s block isn’t just a lack of ideas; it’s a paralyzing fear that whatever you write will be terrible, so why bother? This fear can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, turning a temporary dry spell into a full-blown drought. The good news is that writer’s block is neither fatal nor permanent—though it can feel like it is. Keep writing, even if it’s terrible, trusting that eventually, the words will start flowing again. Or, if all else fails, bribe your muse with coffee and chocolate. It can’t hurt.

6. Editing and Revising with Speed and Efficiency

• Struggle: Editing is like cleaning up after a wild party—you know it has to be done, but the mess is overwhelming, and the prevalent stench of stale creativity is enough to knock you unconscious. Revising? That’s when you realise the party wasn’t as fun as you thought, and you start wondering why you ever thought a literary rave was a good idea.
• Why: New writers often confuse editing with proofreading, thinking it’s all about catching typos and fixing grammar. But real editing is a brutal process of tearing your work apart and putting it back together again. It’s killing your darlings, cutting the fluff, and sometimes, rewriting entire sections until you’re left with something that resembles a coherent narrative. The good news? Once you’ve survived a few rounds of editing, you might actually start to enjoy it. Or at least tolerate it with a vitamin-rich smoothie in hand.

7. Receiving and Handling Criticism

• Struggle: Receiving criticism on your writing is like getting feedback on your appearance: even if it’s constructive, it still stings. “Your protagonist feels a bit flat,” translates to, “Your baby is ugly,” and suddenly, you’re questioning all your whole book’s content.
• Why: Feedback is essential for growth, but it’s also tough to hear that your carefully crafted story isn’t perfect. The trick is to develop a thick skin—not so thick that you become immune to feedback, but thick enough to stop you from spiralling into a pit of despair every time someone suggests a constructive change. Remember, criticism isn’t necessarily an attack; it could be an opportunity to improve. And if all else fails, just remind yourself that even the greats got rejected at some point.

8. Mastering Character Development

• Struggle: Creating complex, believable characters is like being a puppet master—except your puppets are stubborn, unpredictable, and occasionally try to murder each other. And let’s not even talk about how they refuse to follow your carefully laid plans.
• Why: New writers often struggle to breathe life into their characters, ending up with one-dimensional cardboard cutouts instead of living, breathing people. The problem is, flat characters can make even the most thrilling plot collapse, as well. Developing your characters means digging deep into their motivations, flaws, and desires, even if it means they start taking over the story. Because, let’s face it, the best characters have a mind of their own—and that’s when the real creative writing fun begins.

9. Addressing Your Fear of Rejection

• Struggle: Submitting your work to agents, publishers, or even just a critique group is like standing naked in the middle of a crowded room and asking everyone what they think of your outfit. The fear of rejection is real, and it’s as terrifying as it is inevitable.
• Why: Rejection is a rite of passage for every writer, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier when that form letter lands in your inbox. The key is to remember that rejection isn’t personal. It’s not a reflection of your worth as a writer—or as a human being (though it might feel that way). It’s just one step in the long, winding road to success. And who knows? Maybe the next submission will be the one that changes everything. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself to keep from throwing your laptop out the window.

10. Balancing Show vs. Tell

• Struggle: “Show, don’t tell” is the mantra hammered into every writer’s brain, but actually pulling it off? Easier said than done. It’s like being told to paint a masterpiece without ever touching a paintbrush.
• Why: New writers often struggle to strike the right balance between showing action and emotions and simply telling the reader what’s happening. Too much telling can make your story feel like a bland summary, but too much showing can bog it down with unnecessary details. The trick is to use both techniques in harmony, like a literary seesaw. And if you’re really stuck, just remember: sometimes, it’s okay to tell. Not every moment needs to be a cinematic experience—sometimes, you just need to get to the point.

11. Managing Expectations

• Struggle: Most new writers start with grand expectations: fame, fortune, and a Pulitzer Prize by the end of the year. Reality, however, has other plans, and they usually involve a lot of unpaid bills and a persistent sense of inadequacy.
• Why: Writing is a marathon, not a sprint, but new writers often expect to see results—whether it’s finishing a novel or landing a publishing deal—far sooner than is realistic. The key to managing expectations is to focus on the process rather than the outcome. Celebrate the small victories, like finishing a chapter or surviving a particularly brutal round of edits. And remember, the overnight success stories you hear about are usually a decade in the making. So, pace yourself, and maybe lower the bar just a smidge.

12. Avoiding Overwriting and Overthinking

• Struggle: Overwriting is the literary equivalent of packing for a weekend trip and bringing five suitcases. Every new writer goes through a phase where they try to cram every adjective, adverb, and metaphor they know into a single sentence.
• Why: It’s tempting to show off your vocabulary, but more often than not, it just makes your prose bloated and unreadable. Learning to write concisely is like learning to pack light: it’s hard at first, but eventually, you realize that less is more. It’s not about stripping your writing bare, but rather about making sure every word earns its place. Remember, if you want your readers to reach the end of your story, don’t weigh them down with unnecessary baggage.

13. Navigating the Publishing Process

• Struggle: The publishing world is a labyrinth, and somewhere in the middle is your manuscript, gathering dust while you try to figure out which turn to take next. Traditional publishing? Self-publishing? Hybrid? It’s enough to make you long for the days when all you had to worry about was writing the d*** thing.
• Why: The publishing process is confusing, bureaucratic, and sometimes downright soul-crushing. New writers often get lost in the maze of query letters, book proposals, and formatting guidelines. And let’s not even get started on the waiting—the interminable waiting. The trick is to educate yourself about the industry without losing your sanity. Find a community of fellow writers who can offer advice, commiseration, and a commiserating shoulder to cry on when the rejection letters start rolling in.

14. Staying True to Your Vision

• Struggle: Between the well-meaning advice of friends, feedback from critique partners, and the ever-present pressure to be “marketable,” staying true to your vision can feel like trying to navigate a minefield blindfolded.
• Why: New writers often struggle to balance their creative instincts with external expectations. It’s easy to start second-guessing your choices, wondering if you should change this character or that plot point to please others. But at the end of the day, your story is yours, and staying true to your vision is what will make it unique. Sure, you might make some changes along the way, but don’t lose sight of what made you want to write the story in the first place. And if all else fails, remember: compromise is for marriages, not manuscripts.

15. Learning When to Let Go

• Struggle: Finishing a piece of writing is hard enough, but letting it go? That’s a whole new level of torture. After all, there’s always something that could be tweaked, polished, or completely rewritten.
• Why: Perfectionism is the enemy of progress, and many new writers find themselves trapped in an endless cycle of revisions. The fear of releasing something into the world that isn’t perfect can be paralyzing, but at some point, you have to declare your work “good enough” and move on. Otherwise, you’ll end up with a drawer full of unfinished masterpieces and not a single published word. So, take a deep breath, hit “send,” and let your baby fly. If it crashes and burns, well, at least you can say you tried.

If you’re ready to turn your writing struggles into triumphs—and do it in the most inspiring setting imaginable—why not join me on a writing and walking retreat along the Camino de Santiago de Compostela in the sun-blessed southwest of France? Picture yourself walking and writing by day, surrounded by the beauty of ancient landscapes, and unwinding with fellow writers in the evenings, all while finding the clarity and inspiration you need to bring your stories to life. It’s not just a retreat; it’s a chance to connect (or reconnect) with your writing muse, your creativity, and yourself. Whether you’re looking to conquer writer’s block, refine your voice, or simply soak in the magic of the Camino, this journey will transform your writing.

Email me at Welcome2Gascony@gmail.com to inquire about availability.

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“Don’t forget— no one else sees the word the way you do, so no one else can tell the stories you have to tell.” Charles de Lint

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