Author: Margaretha Montagu

Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is a certified transformational retreat leader who guides her clients towards their most meaningful and fulfilling lives, particularly when navigating life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian Horses, at their home in the southwest of France.
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Powerful Affirmations For Introverted Entrepreneurs

Has Affirmations Gone Out Of Fashion?

No, affirmations have not gone out of fashion—but they have had a significant makeover, they have evolved to meet our needs more effectively and to fit better into our busy lives. With the growing focus on mental health, affirmations have morphed into reliable, familiar and much-appreciated friends, who are always there to remind you that you’ve got this, even when life feels like a never-ending Monday.

Science has finally given affirmations a thumbs-up. Research shows they actually can reduce stress and boost resilience. One study published by Creswell et al. (2013) in Psychological Science found that self-affirmations can protect against the damaging effects of stress on problem-solving performance. The study demonstrated that “participants who engaged in self-affirmation before a stress-inducing task showed better problem-solving abilities and lower stress levels compared to those who did not engage in self-affirmation.”

We are now creating specific self-motivating and personally meaningful affirmations that resonate with our unique values and objectives—no more generic “I am successful” mantras that are difficult to believe and don’t really hit home. Instead of saying, “I am successful,” we now expand, “I know I can run a successful business and I will take these specific steps today to make my business more successful.”

En plus, affirmations have found a place in our digital age, popping up in a variety of apps, online communities and social media feeds, proving that they remain a versatile and empowering tool.

Affirmations have also jumped on the mindfulness bandwagon, blending with meditation, journaling, visualisation, and all those other practices that make you feel like you’ve got your life together (even if you’re still in your pyjamas at noon).

So, no, affirmations have definitely not gone out of fashion. They’ve just evolved, like any good trend, keeping up with the times and finding new ways to stay relevant.

Who these days can afford to ignore a tool that can “protect against the damaging effects of stress on problem-solving performance?” Certainly not me, I am still using affirmations, but I have rewritten mine so that they reflect my new entrepreneur status. Below you’ll find a list of my most empowering affirmations, but first, I’m going to explain why affirmations can be particularly useful for introverted entrepreneurs, providing emotional support as we face the unique challenges of running a business.

Affirmations can help Introverts by motivating us to:

  • Overcome Self-Doubt: Introverted entrepreneurs may sometimes struggle with self-doubt, especially in highly visible situations like networking events or public speaking. Affirmations like “I have spoken successfully in public before and I can do so again today.” can help reinforce our self-worth and reduce our anxiety about stepping into the spotlight.
  • Stay Aligned with our Goals: Affirmations can help us maintain focus on our long-term goals, reminding us of our purpose, even when distractions or doubts arise.
  • Embrace Our Unique Nature: Introverted entrepreneurs may feel pressured to act more extroverted in a business world that often celebrates visibility. Affirmations such as “I succeed by being true to myself” can help us embrace our authentic selves, reminding us of our natural strengths rather than trying to fit into an extroverted mold.
  • Dramatically Reduce our Stress Levels: Running a business can be hard work, especially when we don’t get enough downtime to recharge. Affirmations like “I give myself permission to rest and recharge my batteries for 24 hours” can help us manage stress and maintain a healthy balance between work and personal life.
  • Overcome Challenges: Entrepreneurship is filled with ups and downs. Affirmations such as “I am resilient and I know I am capable of overcoming this challenge” can help us to persevere through difficult times and view challenges as opportunities for personal and business growth.
  • Improve our Communication Skills by Expressing Our Thoughts Clearly: Introverts often excel at listening and thoughtful communication but might hesitate to share their ideas in large groups. Affirmations like “My ideas are valuable, and I express them with confidence” can empower us to communicate more assertively and effectively in business settings.
  • Nurture our Ideas: Introverts often have rich inner worlds where creativity thrives. Affirmations such as “I trust my creative instincts and let them guide my business decisions” can encourage them to explore and implement their ideas without self-censorship.
  • Lead Quietly but Powerfully: Introverts may lead in a more understated manner, but that doesn’t make us any less effective. Affirmations can help us recognise, accept and use our unique leadership style.
  • To be Kind to Ourselves: Entrepreneurship can be tough, and introverts might be particularly hard on themselves during challenging times. Affirmations like “I am patient and compassionate with myself as I grow my business” can help us practice self-kindness, reducing the pressure we put on ourselves.

Affirmations can give us more confidence, clarity, and self-compassion.

Examples of Powerful Affirmations for Introverted Business Owners

  • “My introvertness is my strength, allowing me to think deeply, listen intently, and lead thoughtfully.” I embrace my natural tendency to reflect on and consider all perspectives. This helps me make well-informed decisions that benefit my business.
  • “I am confident in my ability to create meaningful connections in my own unique way.” I don’t need to have the loudest voice in the room to make an impact. My quiet presence and thoughtful communication build strong, lasting relationships with clients and colleagues.
  • “I trust my instincts and my ability to make decisions that align with my values, objectives and vision.” I know that the unique way I think leads to choices that reflect who I am and what I want to achieve. I move forward with confidence, knowing I am on the right path.
  • “I honour my need for solitude and use it to innovate and improve my business.” I recognise that taking time off for myself is essential to my creativity and productivity. My best ideas come when I’m fully rested and in tune with my inner self.
  • “I am a resilient leader who overcomes challenges with calm determination.” When faced with difficulties, I draw on my ability to thoroughly think things through. I respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively, leading my business through tough times with steady resolve.
  • “I create a work environment that supports my energy and enhances my productivity. I structure my workday in a way that respects my need for uninterrupted focus. By creating a space that aligns with my introverted nature, I maximise my efficiency.
  • “I attract clients and opportunities that align with my values and respect my boundaries. I know that the right opportunities will come to me as I stay true to who I am. I set clear boundaries and attract clients who appreciate my thoughtful approach and integrity.
  • “I am proud of my achievements and celebrate them in a way that feels authentic to me.” I don’t need to seek external validation to feel successful. I recognise my accomplishments and allow myself to celebrate them privately, in ways that honor my introverted nature.
  • “I use my listening skills to properly understand the needs of my clients and deliver exceptional value.” My ability to listen and observe makes me a powerful business owner. I use these skills to create tailored solutions that meet my clients’ needs, building trust and long-lasting relationships.
  • “I am continuously growing, learning, and evolving as a business owner and as an individual.” I embrace lifelong learning and personal growth. Each day, I take steps to improve my skills and knowledge, knowing that this continuous evolution strengthens my business and enriches my life.
  • “I embrace my unique leadership style, knowing that quiet strength and thoughtful action are powerful tools for success.” I lead with intention and purpose, understanding that my calm demeanour and careful consideration inspire confidence and trust in those I work with.
  • “I trust in the value of my work and confidently share it with the world in a way that feels true to me.” I know that my products and services bring value to others. I share my offerings confidently, using methods that align with my introverted nature, whether through writing, one-on-one conversations, or small group settings.
  • “I balance my energy wisely, knowing when to push forward and when to step back to recharge.” I am in tune with my energy levels and understand the importance of balancing work and rest. I give myself permission to step back and recharge my batteries when needed, knowing this will make me more effective in the long run.
  • “I am capable of setting clear boundaries that protect my time, energy, and focus.” I respect my own limits and communicate them confidently. I protect my time and energy by setting boundaries that allow me to stay focused and productive, ensuring I can give my best to my business and clients.
  • “I attract team members and partners who complement my strengths and respect my introverted nature.” I build my business with people who understand and appreciate my working style. Together, we create a supportive environment where everyone’s strengths are valued and leveraged for mutual success.
  • “I navigate social interactions with ease and confidence, knowing I can connect meaningfully in my own way.” I don’t need to change who I am to build strong relationships. I connect with others through deep, meaningful conversations and thoughtful communication, creating lasting bonds in both my personal and professional life.
  • “I am proud of my ability to work independently and use this strength to drive my business forward.” I thrive in solo work, where I can focus deeply and produce high-quality results. My independence is a key asset that propels my business toward success.
  • “I create opportunities that align with my values and allow me to work in environments that suit my personality.” I actively seek and create opportunities that resonate with my core values and allow me to work in settings that feel comfortable and supportive, ensuring long-term satisfaction and success.
  • “I am patient with my growth process, understanding that success is built step by step, at my own pace.” I know that true success doesn’t happen overnight. I trust in my journey, allowing myself the time and space to grow my business steadily and sustainably, without comparing myself to others.
  • “I am a thoughtful and strategic thinker, and I use this ability to make decisions that lead to long-term success.” My natural inclination to think things through carefully is a key advantage in business. I use this strength to make strategic decisions that ensure the long-term success and sustainability of my business.

I suspect that even just reading through these affirmations makes you feel more empowered and positive about your business. Why are affirmations so powerful? On my Free Resources page, you can download a 25-page e-book by Susan Jeffers explaining exactly why affirmations can change our lives. Her book, Inner Talk for Peace of Mind, is also excellent.

And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive Friesian and Falabella horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a From Troubled to Triumphant transformational retreat to reinvent yourself, rewrite your story and start your sensational next chapter.

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A Gratitude Journal: The Introverted Business Owner’s Secret Superpower

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie

I have been keeping a gratitude journal for at least 4 years now.

I started small: 5 bullet points every morning and evening.

I started expanding on these when I read that adding my “why,” my reason for being grateful for each point on my list, would increase the beneficial impact that gratitude journaling could have on my life.

It did. Hundredfold.

Gratitude journaling is especially beneficial for introverts because it’s like having a deep, meaningful conversation—except it’s with yourself, and there’s zero chance of being interrupted or having to make awkward small talk. It’s the perfect way to express all your feelings without having to actually tell people about it.

Instead of shouting from the rooftops, you get to quietly jot down your victories in a cozy little corner, possibly with a cup of tea, some soothing music and a purring cat nearby.

Gratitude journaling might well be the introvert’s secret superpower.

Instead of having to talk about it at length (awkward shudder), you can just jot down your appreciation in your journal and call it a day. If you want to thank anyone, you don’t have to phone them, you can text or email them. Or send them a card – or even an e-card.

It’s also the perfect excuse to take a break and recharge your batteries. “Sorry, can’t join that Zoom call—I’m busy reflecting on my blessings.” And the best part? No one can argue with that.

In your gratitude journal, you get to say whatever you want, however you want, and you never have to worry about anyone helpfully interrupting you to explain what you are doing wrong and how you should correct it. You can keep your gratitude journal private, where only you (and maybe your cat) can see how truly grateful you are for life’s little victories, like discovering a new book series or finally getting that tricky client off your back.

Talking about tricky clients, if you are a business owner, regularly jotting down things you’re grateful for is like giving your brain a daily dose of sunshine. It’s the perfect antidote to those inevitable business hiccups that would otherwise send you into a negative tailspin. Whenever business life gets chaotic, your gratitude journal helps you stay grounded, reminding you of what truly matters—like the fact that you survived another week without having to attend a networking event.

Regularly reminding yourself what you’re grateful for can foster a growth mindset, which is crucial when navigating the ups and downs of business ownership. Instead of getting bogged down by challenges, you’ll stay focused on your goals and celebrate the progress you’ve made—quietly, of course. Your gratitude journal is like a highlight reel of your greatest hits, reminding you that you’ve got what it takes to handle whatever comes your way. Focusing on gratitude can help an introverted business owner bounce back from setbacks by reminding us of past successes.

By regularly reflecting on what you’re grateful for, you naturally start to identify what truly matters to you—whether it’s customer satisfaction, work-life balance, or ethical business practices. This clarity helps you make decisions that align with your core values, making it easier to choose the right way forward.

Introverts are prone to overthinking, especially when faced with big decisions. Gratitude journaling helps shift your focus from potential pitfalls to the positive aspects of past decisions, reducing anxiety and giving you the confidence to move forward without second-guessing yourself incessantly. It also reduces the likelihood of regretting decisions. By reinforcing the idea that there’s always something to be grateful for, even in disastrous situations, you can make decisions without FOMO.

For an introverted business owner, a gratitude journal is more than just a notebook—it’s a powerhouse of positivity, focus, confidence, and resilience – your new best friend. It’s like having a quiet cheerleader in your corner, helping you navigate the entrepreneurial rollercoaster with determination, patience and grit—minus the need for any bold and loud public declarations.

If you want to start a gratitude journal but always end up sitting and staring at a white page or computer screen, with no idea where to start, try one of these prompts:

  • How has spending time alone recently helped you process your thoughts or make a decision? What are you most grateful for about your alone time?
  • Who is one person who has supported you in a quiet, meaningful way? What did they do, and why are you grateful for their presence in your life?
  • What is a valuable lesson you’ve learned from a recent challenge or setback? How has it helped you grow, and why are you grateful for the experience?
  • What place, real or imagined, do you retreat to when you need peace and solitude? Why are you grateful for this space, and how does it help you?
  • What makes you laugh out loud? How can you bring more laughter into your daily life?

Gratitude Journaling has always been part of my Next Chapter Retreats, as a writing meditation exercise. For when could it be more important to count our blessings and so attract more to be grateful for, than when we are struggling through major life changes, transitions and challenges?

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In my book Embracing Change – in 10 Minutes a Day, I explain in detail how to keep a gratitude journal and how to get the full benefit of doing so in just 10 minutes a day.

If you would like to be notified when I publish another post like this one, you can subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter, with regular updates about the highs and lows of living on my little farm in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Subscribers get free access to my Would you like to live a more purposeful, meaningful and impactful Life? Quiz.

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The Importance of Self-Compassion for Introverts

How Self-Compassion Can Help You Build Your Business and Your Career

As introverted professionals, we can greatly benefit from being kinder to ourselves, especially during life changes, challenges and transitions.

I had this idea that being an introvert was a negative thing, that it had a negative connotation, and I really wanted, as a young person, to strive to be the life of the party and to be really outgoing and to have a million friends. And then I realized that an introvert isn’t a negative. – Grace Helbig

It took me many years to figure this out: that being an introvert is okay, that I don’t have to suppress who I am to fit in with the rest of the world. It was only when I started my own business running Camino de Santiago walking retreats here on my little farm in the southwest of France, that I was finally able to not only accept myself as I am, but to be kind to myself, and to put my needs as an introvert first, so that I can the best retreat host I possibly can, just as I am.

How can Introverts reap significant benefits from being kinder to ourselves?

  1. Being kinder to ourselves helps introverts build emotional resilience. When we practice self-compassion, we become better equipped to handle life’s challenges without being overwhelmed by self-criticism. This resilience allows us to bounce back more quickly from setbacks and maintain a more balanced, regulated emotional state.
  2. We often feel pressure to conform to extroverted norms, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt. By being kinder to ourselves, we can embrace our natural tendencies, recognise our strengths and value our unique perspective. This self-acceptance leads to greater confidence and contentment in our own skins.
  3. Introverts can be particularly sensitive to overstimulation and social pressure. By practising self-kindness, we give ourselves permission to set boundaries, take breaks, and recharge our batteries without feeling guilty. This dramatically reduces our stress levels, allowing us to navigate trying social situations and daily demands with more ease.
  4. Self-compassionate introverts are more likely to approach relationships authentically. By being kind to ourselves, we avoid the pitfalls of overextending or people-pleasing, which can lead to burnout. Instead, we engage in relationships that are mutually supportive and fulfilling.
  5. When introverts are kinder to themselves, it stimulates personal growth. Without the harshness of self-judgment, we can explore new opportunities, take risks, and learn from our experiences with a sense of curiosity and creativity.

Case Study: Alice and her boulangerie La Petite Panetière

Alice owned an irresistible little boulangerie, La Petite Panetière, on a quiet street in a charming French village. The shop was known for its warm, golden croissants, fragrant baguettes and delicate chocolatines. Every day, from the early hours, Alice would work tirelessly, kneading dough, and rolling baguettes, ensuring every single one was perfect. Her boulangerie was her world, but she kept her distance from her customers, her shyness was often mistaken for aloofness.

Alice was an introvert to the core. She loved the solitude of the early mornings and the comfort of routine, but the pressures of running a business were weighing heavy on her slender shoulders. She was her own harshest critic, always believing that her baking was just not good enough. She would stay late into the night, perfectly recipes that had already been praised by her customers, convinced they weren’t worthy of the compliments.

That winter, as the days grew shorter and the nights colder, Alice found herself worn out and disconnected, not just from her customers but from the joy she once found in baking.

One particularly bitter evening, after a long day of work, Alice sat down with a cup of hot chocolate and a journal she had bought months ago but never opened. She began to write, pouring out her worries and frustrations onto the page. It was the first time she allowed herself to truly express what she felt. In the quiet of her tiny kitchen, surrounded by the comforting smell of fresh bread, Alice realized how unkind she had been to herself.

She decided to make a change, not in her baking, but in how she treated herself. Alice began setting boundaries, closing the shop a little earlier, taking time to rest, and allowing herself small indulgences—a walk by the river, a new book, or simply a quiet evening without worrying about the next day’s work. She also permitted herself to close the bakery for a day each week, dedicating that time to rest, explore new recipes, or simply enjoy the solitude she so cherished.

Gradually, Alice’s kindness toward herself began to reflect in her business. Her renewed energy brought warmth back into the boulangerie. She smiled more often, greeted customers with genuine interest, and even started small conversations, sharing her love for baking. People noticed the change in her, feeling more welcome and connected to her shop. Word spread, and soon, more customers were drawn to the boulangerie, not just for the bread but for the peaceful, inviting atmosphere that Alice had created.

Her business flourished, not because she worked harder, but because she learned to be kind to herself. The boulangerie became a haven not just for the village but for Alice too—a place where she could share her passion without losing herself in the process. In this kindness, she found not only the strength to keep going but she also became more creative in the kitchen, experimenting with new flavours and techniques. She introduced a new line of cinnamon-flavoured pains-aux-raisins that quickly became a hit with her customers.

She focused on creating a more personal connection with her customers. She started a small loyalty program, offering regulars a free pastry after ten visits. This simple gesture, born out of her genuine care for her customers, made them feel valued and appreciated, leading to increased word-of-mouth referrals.

As Alice continued journalling self-compassionately, La Petite Panetière flourished. Alice’s self-compassion not only revived her passion for baking but also transformed her business into a thriving, beloved part of the community.

In the end, Alice learned that by taking care of herself, she could take better care of her business—and that being an introvert, in fact, wasn’t a limitation, but a strength.

How can we become more self-compassionate? By Journaling.

Journaling with self-compassion can be a transformative practice for introverts, helping us to nurture a kinder relationship with ourselves, manage our emotions more effectively, and embrace our introverted strengths with confidence.

  1. Journaling makes us more self-aware: Introverts often thrive on introspection, and journaling allows us to explore our thoughts and feelings in more depth. By focusing on self-compassion, journaling can help us become more aware of our inner dialogue, recognise patterns of self-criticism and learn to replace them with kinder, more supportive thoughts.
  2. Journaling helps us process our emotions: Introverts may internalise their emotions, leading to stress or overwhelm. Journaling provides a safe space to process these emotions, helping us to release pent-up feelings and gain clarity. Writing about self-compassion encourages us to acknowledge our emotions without judgment, creating a healthier emotional balance.
  3. It reinforces positive self-talk: Introverts are prone to self-doubt or negative self-talk, especially in social situations. Through journaling, they can practice reframing negative thoughts and reinforcing positive self-talk. By regularly writing about self-compassion, introverts can cultivate a more nurturing and forgiving inner voice.
  4. Journaling can increase our resilience: Life’s challenges can feel especially intense for introverts, who may need more time to recharge. Journaling about self-compassion helps them build resilience by reminding them that it’s okay to take breaks, set boundaries, and prioritise their well-being. This practice empowers introverts to navigate difficulties with greater self-kindness and patience.
  5. It can strengthen our personal boundaries: Introverts often value their personal space and time, but we struggle to set boundaries without feeling guilty. Journaling with self-compassion can help us explore our need for boundaries and affirm that protecting our energy is a valid and necessary act of self-care.
  6. Journaling helps us to accept ourselves: Introverts may sometimes feel pressure to be more extroverted or sociable. Journaling with self-compassion can help us own our introverted nature and recognise its strengths. By focusing on self-compassion, we can develop a deeper acceptance of who we are, appreciating our unique qualities rather than wishing we were different.
  7. It promotes mindfulness: Journaling encourages a mindful approach to self-compassion, helping us to stay present and attentive to our needs. Mindfulness can reduce anxiety, particularly in social or stressful situations, by keeping us grounded in the moment and focused on our own well-being.

10 Self-compassion-inducing journaling prompts tailored for introverts

  1. Review Your Strengths: What are three qualities or strengths that you appreciate about yourself as an introvert? How have these traits positively impacted your life? Write about how these strengths have helped you navigate challenges or create meaningful connections.
  2. Embrace Your Need for Solitude: Describe a time when taking time alone significantly benefited your mental or emotional well-being. How did honouring your need for solitude help you recharge or gain clarity? How you can incorporate more intentional alone time into your routine?
  3. Self-Care Reflection: List the ways you currently take care of yourself, especially during times of stress or overwhelm. Are there any self-care practices you’d like to incorporate more regularly? How can these practices help you show yourself more compassion?
  4. Handling Overwhelm: Think about a recent situation where you felt socially or emotionally overwhelmed. How did you handle it? Looking back, how could you have shown yourself more compassion in that moment? Write about how you can support yourself better in similar situations in the future.
  5. Celebrate Your Achievements: Remind yourself of a recent achievement or milestone, no matter how small. How did you feel when you accomplished it? Often, introverts downplay their successes—take this opportunity to fully celebrate your achievement and acknowledge the effort you put in.
  6. Understanding Your Inner Critic: Write about a time when you were overly critical of yourself. What was the situation, and what did your inner critic say? Now, imagine how you would comfort a close friend in the same situation. How can you apply that same kindness to yourself?
  7. Boundaries and Self-Compassion: Think about a situation where you had to set a boundary to protect your well-being. How did it feel to set that boundary? Reflect on how setting boundaries is an act of self-compassion and how you can practice this more confidently.
  8. Gratitude for Your Introverted Nature: Write about three things you’re grateful for because of your introverted nature. How has being an introvert enriched your life? How can embracing these aspects of yourself contribute to your overall happiness?
  9. Navigating Social Situations: Recall a recent social event that left you feeling drained or uncomfortable. How did you recover afterwards? Write about how you can prepare for and recover from social situations in a way that honours your need for self-compassion and energy management.
  10. Visualising Your Ideal Day: Describe your perfect day, focusing on how it would nurture your introverted nature. What activities would you include? How would you balance solitude and social interaction? Reflect on how you can incorporate elements of this ideal day into your real life to support your well-being.

As self-kindness empowers us to thrive in our own unique way, as it nurtures our strengths, and protects our emotional well-being, what more can we do to make sure we are kinder towards ourselves on a day-to-day basis?

Recommended Reading
Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection.
Germer, C. K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions.
Germer, C. K. & Neff, K. D. (2019).Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion program: A guide for professionals.
Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind.
Hickman, S. (2021). Self-Compassion for Dummies.
Neff, K. D. & Germer, C. K (2018). The Mindful Self-Compassion workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, find inner strength, and thrive.
Neff, K. D. (2021). Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself.
Quinlan, K. (2021). The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: Lean into Your Fear, Manage Difficult Emotions, and F

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50 Self-Compassion Quotes to Help You Through Major Life Changes

“Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.”-Pema Chodron

What is Self-Compassion?

In short, self-compassion is about getting to know and accept yourself, forgiving yourself, loving yourself, helping yourself overcome insecurities, respecting yourself and protecting yourself. You’ll find more detailed definitions in the quotes below.

Why is being self-compassionate essential during life changes, challenges and transitions?

This is what I do, I help people through life changes, challenges and transitions by running my Manifest Your Next Chapter Retreats here at my little farm in the southwest of France. I have discovered that the people who navigate the storms of life with the least disruption are those who look after themselves during the process, with an abundance of self-acceptance and self-compassion.

– Major life changes often come with a mix of emotions—fear, anxiety, sadness, frustration, even guilt and depression. Mindfully practising self-compassion allows you to acknowledge these feelings without judgment, treating yourself the same kindness and understanding that you would a friend/loved one in a similar situation.

– During times of significant upheaval, it’s common to be hard on yourself, whether you’re blaming yourself for the situation or feeling like you’re not handling it “well enough.” Self-compassion helps counteract this negative self-talk by encouraging you to treat yourself with patience and forgiveness.

– Self-compassion can help you to accept the difficulties of a major life change without getting stuck in resistance or denial. This acceptance makes it easier to adapt to new realities. Self-compassion helps you see the change as a part of the human experience, allowing you to approach it with greater flexibility and creativity.

– When you approach a major life challenge with self-kindness, you’re better equipped to bounce back from setbacks. Instead of being overwhelmed by stress, you can view these changes as opportunities for growth and learning. This mindset fosters resilience, helping you to persevere through tough times.

– Life changes can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally. Self-compassion encourages you to take care of yourself during these times by prioritizing your well-being, s that you can manage stress more effectively and retain and replenish your energy over the long term as you adjust to the new circumstances.

How can reading self-compassion quotes help you during a major life crisis/change?

Reading self-compassion quotes can serve as gentle reminders to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. These quotes can help shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-acceptance, encouraging you to be more forgiving of your mistakes and imperfections. They can give you insight and validate your feelings, especially during tough times, reminding you that it’s okay to be imperfect and that your worth isn’t defined by how you handle your challenges.

Self-compassion quotes can also inspire positive self-talk. By regularly reading and reflecting on these quotes, you can gradually cultivate a more compassionate inner voice, which can lead to improved emotional resilience, lower stress levels, and a greater overall sense of well-being. They help to nurture a more loving and supportive relationship with yourself, which is essential to help you maintain emotional health.

Reading self-compassion quotes can also improve our relationships with others. When we are more compassionate with ourselves, we are often more compassionate with others. Being kind to ourselves can help us build stronger and more supportive relationships with those around us.

My favourite self-compassion quotes

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen

“The journey toward self-love can be challenging, especially in a world that often imposes unrealistic standards and expectations. However, this inner journey is essential for a full and fulfilling life…The aim is to reach a state where self-love is not conditioned by external successes or validation from others, but is a constant presence guiding our thoughts and actions.” – Marie Chieze

“No other love no matter how genuine it is, can fulfil one’s heart better than unconditional self-love.” – Edmond Mbiaka

“Who will you love if not yourself? Other people? How can you love someone for anything but their raw, naked humanity? How can you say you love someone if it is not for their flaws and quirks, snorts and hurts, triggers and tears? Anything else is not love. It is an idealisation. And, as long as you do it to yourself, you will do it to everyone. You will not love anyone or anything until those eyes in the mirror soften up and embrace the beauty that is already within.” – Vironika Tugaleva

“Self-compassion is like a muscle. The more we practice flexing it, especially when life doesn’t go exactly according to plan (a frequent scenario for most of us), the stronger and more resilient our compassion muscle becomes.” – Sharon Salzberg

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.” – Deborah Day

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.”- Christopher Germer

“When you extend kindness to yourself, you create a sanctuary of love, acceptance, and peace within your own heart.” – John O’Donohue

“The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that there was something wrong with me. I quit spending my life trying to control myself and began to trust myself. We only control what we don’t trust. We can either control ourselves or love ourselves, but we can’t do both.”- Glennon Doyle

“You have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”- Louise Hay

“Self-compassion is a way of emotionally recharging our batteries. Rather than becoming drained by helping others, self-compassion allows us to fill up our internal reserves, so that we have more to give to those who need us.” – Kristin Neff

“We don’t make lasting, constructive changes in our lives because of shame or self-loathing. We finally decide we were made for something more. This might come to us as a very small sense of knowing, but it’s a change in perspective, and it is the soil for new life.”– Leeana Tankersley

“Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.”- Tara Mohr

“To be self-compassionate is not to be self-indulgent or self-centred. A major component of self-compassion is to be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with love, care, dignity and make your well-being a priority. With self-compassion, we still hold ourselves accountable professionally and personally, but there are no toxic emotions inflicted upon and towards ourselves.” – Christopher Dines

“Loving yourself is having reverence ultimately for life. …It’s a deep gratitude for the life you have.”- Brendon Burchard

“When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be toward others.”– Eda LeShan

“No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.”-Robert Holden

“True love of self is not narcissistic, nor is it even self-centred. Those traits are nothing but the contrived window-dressing of self-hate. True love of self is simple acceptance. Without it, you can never be happy, nor even fully healthy. Without it, you can never love others.” -Dharma Singh Khalsa M.D. and Cameron Stauth

“I learned…that sometimes there is just very little in life we can control. But one thing we can always control is how we treat ourselves. And that one thing can change everything.”-Leanna Tankersley

“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.”- Anne Wilson Schaef

“What is happening in your innermost self is worthy of your entire love; somehow you must find a way to work at it.”- Rainer Maria Rilke

“How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a wholehearted life: loving ourselves.”-Brené Brown

“One thing is for sure–you will make mistakes. Learn to learn from them, learn to forgive yourself, learn to laugh when everything falls apart because, sometimes, it will. – Vironika Tugaleva

“Perhaps, we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.” – Rudy Francisco

“If you are continually judging and criticizing yourself while trying to be kind to others, you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation.” – Kristin Neff

“Self-love is learning how to listen to your own heart so you can understand someone else’s.”- Zella Sage

“While you might think it’s a trick, having affection for one’s goofy, crabby, annoying, lovely self is home. This has been my meagre salvation.”- Anne Lamott

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”-Jack Kornfield

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” -Brené Brown

“Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.” – Tara Brach

“The way you treat your own heart is the way you will end up treating everyone else’s.”- John Eldridge

“You can have compassion for yourself-which is not self-pity. You’re simply recognizing that ‘this is tough, this hurts,’ and bringing the same warmhearted wish for suffering to lessen or end that you would bring to any dear friend grappling with the same pain, upset, or challenges as you.” – Rick Hanson

“Compassion links us to others. We share a common humanity with a common wish to be happy, free from suffering and to live with grace.”– Marianne Williamson

“An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves–the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.” – Marshall Rosenberg

“If you are unkind to yourself, you will be unkind to others. And if you are negligent of yourself, you will be that to others. Only by feeling compassion for yourself can you feel compassion for others. If you cannot love yourself you cannot love others, and you cannot stand to see others loved. If you cannot treat your own self kindly, you will resent that treatment when you see it in anyone else. If you cannot love yourself, loving others becomes a very painful endeavour with only occasional moments of comfort. In other words, loving others, or how you treat yourself, is your own dose of your own medicine, that you really give to others at the same time.”– Gary Zukav

“We can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is… not to try to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we already are.”​- Pema Chodron

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” – Paulo Cohelo

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”– Oscar Wilde

“The power of self-kindness can help us to heal our chronic shame and self-loathing. In a world that is often mean-spirited and cruel, a daily practice of kindness and warm-heartedness can make all the difference.” – Christopher Dines

“It’s okay to be a compassionate mess.”- Kristin Neff

“I love myself. The quietest. Simplest. Most powerful. Revolution. Ever.”- Nayyirah Waheed

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”- Lucille Ball

If we take good care of ourselves, we help everyone. We stop being a source of suffering to the world, and we become a reservoir of joy and freshness.” – Thich Nhat Hanh, How to Love

“Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”– Proverbs 16:24

“Self-love means valuing yourself as a human being, accepting yourself without conditions, and having a high regard for your own well-being by nurturing it physically, psychologically, and spiritually.” – Rebecca Dolgin

“Remember that self-care is all about you. What works for one person may not work for another, but that’s the beauty of a self-care routine.” – Matthew Glowiak

“Self-compassion motivates like a good coach, with kindness, support, and understanding, not harsh criticism.” – Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer

How can you incorporate self-compassion quotes into your daily routine?

You can become more self-supportive using self-compassionate quotes by:

Using these quotes as affirmations: Start your day by reading a self-compassion quote as part of your morning routine. I don’t do this every day, but when I do, I write the quote on a sticky note and stick it to my laptop, so I see the quote each time I open it. You can automate this by setting up daily notifications with self-compassion quotes on your phone. These can serve as gentle reminders throughout the day to take a breath, be kind to yourself, and reframe any negative self-talk.

Journaling: Write down your favourite self-compassion quotes in your journal. As you may know, I am an enthusiastic prompt creator. I often use a self-compassion quote as a prompt in my journal. I reflect on the quote, how it relates to my current situation, and how I can apply its message to my day. I often also end my day by reading a self-compassion quote before I go to bed. I think about how I can apply it to my experiences that day. This can help me wind down before I fall asleep.

I have been thinking about hosting both online and onsite (here in the southwest of France) one-day retreats, to complement my longer From Troubled to Triumphant retreats. As self-compassion is such an essential aid to anyone who is struggling through a life change/crisis, it seems logical to make this the subject of my one-day retreats. If you would like to join the waiting list for these retreats, please email me at margarethamontagu@gmail.com.

In addition to the transformational retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of online courses, ex. The Purpose Protocol – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive notification of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Would you like to live a more purposeful, meaningful and impactful Life? Quiz.

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Most Meaningful Kindness Quotes…

….and how Kindness can help You make and keep Friends

The idea when I started writing this post was to simply make a list of what I think are the 10 most meaningful kindness quotes.

I quickly discovered that limiting my list to 10 was impossible, and my list grew and grew, and will keep on growing as I add to it, long after I have published this post.

My retreat guests often ask me, How can I make friends? How do I maintain friendships? I found a kindness quote by Doris Lessing that I can now use to answer these questions: “Do you know what people really want? Everyone, I mean. Everybody in the world is thinking: I wish there was just one other person I could really talk to, who could really understand me, who’d be kind to me. That’s what people really want, if they’re telling the truth.”

This led me to formulate a quote of my own:

“If you want to make friends, if you want to maintain friendships, life-long, be kind. Infinitely kind. Not only to your potential friends, but also to yourself, and to everyone else you meet. Because your potential friends will notice how you treat others, and how you treat yourself.” — Margaretha Montagu

I came across Jane Goodall’s quote about the great apes (see below,) and I thought I should add kindness to animals to my quote. Because potential friends also note how you behave towards animals, as in “Compassion for animals is intimately associated with goodness of character, and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals cannot be a good man.” — Arthur Schopenhauer

So “Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.” — George Sand

My List of Most Meaningful Kindness Quotes

“We can not tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.” ― Ray Bradbury

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

“Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin

“I have found that it is the small everyday deed of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart

“Nothing,’ wrote Tolstoy, ‘can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.” ― Gretchen Rubin

“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” — Stephen Grellet

“People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness.” ― Sanaya Roman

“Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.” – Bob Kerrey

“Every small, unselfish action nudges the world into a better path. An accumulation of small acts can change the world.” ― Robin Hobb

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” – Albert Schweitzer

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” — William Wordsworth

“Help others without any reason and give without the expectation of receiving anything in return.” ― Roy T. Bennett

“We’re all born with selfish desires, so we can all relate to those feelings in others. But kindness is something made individually by each person…so it’s easy to misunderstand when others are trying to be kind to you.” ― Natsuki Takaya

“In what terms should we think of these beings, nonhuman yet possessing so very many human-like characteristics? How should we treat them? Surely we should treat them with the same consideration and kindness as we show to other humans; and as we recognize human rights, so too should we recognize the rights of the great apes? Yes.” ― Jane Goodall

“Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.” ― R.J. Palacio

“I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.” ― Neil Gaiman

How Can Kindness Help You Make and Keep Friends?

I have always known that kindness is a powerful tool for building and maintaining friendships. When we treat others with kindness, we show that we care about them: This can create trust, respect, and genuine connection.. Acts of kindness, whether small gestures like a warm, understanding smile, or a larger act like offering support during challenging times, draw people in and can result in a precious support network. Kindness breaks down barriers, making it easier to form new friendships based on mutual understanding.

Unmigitated kindness is essential for keeping friendships going over time. In any friendship, occasional misunderstandings are inevitable, but responding to these moments with kindness helps to resolve conflicts and strengthens the bond (which is valid for all relationships, not just friendships.) By consistently showing compassion, patience, and a willingness to forgive, you can create a stable foundation that can steadfastly weather the changes, challenges and transitions of life.

It is during times of change that we need our friends most.

I help people through major life changes, like redundancies, retirement, starting a business, embarking on a new career, coping with empty nests, loss of loved ones and illness, caring for ailing parents etc. during my Start a New Chapter retreats here in the sunblessed southwest of France. It is always noticeable how much better people cope with change when they maintain strong friendships.

Start a (Kinder) New Chapter Retreats

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The Benefits of Slow Travel for Introverts

It’s as much about the Journey, as it is about the Destination

Early one Saturday morning, I was sipping a small noisette (double espresso with milk) at the Café de Commerce, watching the world go by on the way to the weekly fresh food market. I was savouring a still hot-from-the-oven croissant that I had just picked up from my favourite boulangerie, Chez Aloïs et Mallaury, when I overheard a discussion at a neighbouring table.

At the table were seated 5 people talking about the gites (self-catering accommodation) that they rent out to holidaymakers during the summer.

One of the chaps was holding forth, in French: “We have received an inquiry for 2 week booking, right in the middle of the summer season…”

“Strange thing was, ” his wife (I think) interrupted, “They wanted to know if any children would be around during those two weeks. As we only have the one gite, I said “No…”

“The woman said they were looking for peace and quiet. She said they were “slow” travellers and that they absolutely can’t cope with never-ending noise…” her husband replied. “As you know, where we are, it’s as quiet as it can get in the countryside. So what is this new trend? Any of you had inquiries from slow travellers?”

Everyone around the table said that they had, and that it was happening more and more frequently.

In an age of fast-paced living, where everything seems to be a race against time, the concept of slow travel has emerged as a refreshing alternative. This is great news for introverts, especially those who want more meaningful connections with their surroundings. For introverts, in particular, slow travel offers a unique way to explore the world that aligns perfectly with their preference for solitude, reflection, and deliberate, quiet living.

“Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliott

So why are more and more potential guests making inquiries about conditions suitable for Slow Travelers?

The benefits of Slow Travel, especially for Introverts, are varied. It can help you to:

1. Mindfully Connect with Your Environment

One of the most significant advantages of slow travel for introverts is the opportunity it provides to connect with the environment. Unlike whirlwind trips where the goal is to see as much as possible in a limited time, slow travel encourages travellers to linger in one place, allowing them to fully absorb the sights, sounds, and sensations of their surroundings. During my Next Chapter retreats, my guests use walking meditation as they walk parts of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela to practise noticing their environment.

Introverts, who often feel overwhelmed by constant stimulation, find solace in the slower pace. Whether it’s wandering through a quiet village, spending an afternoon reading in a local café, or taking a long walk through the vineyards, slow travel allows introverts to engage with their environment in a way that is both relaxing and rejuvenating. The slower pace gives them the time to recharge their batteries and truly savour the experience.

2. Explore Different Cultures

For introverts, the superficiality of typical tourist experiences can be exhausting. Slow travel, however, offers the chance to go beyond the surface and engage with the local people in a more meaningful way. By staying in one location for an extended period, travellers can learn the nuances of the local language, participate in traditional customs, and form genuine connections with the people they meet.

Introverts often prefer smaller, more intimate groups, and slow travel provides the perfect setting for this. Rather than being bombarded with a constant stream of new faces, introverts can take their time to get to know a few people well, resulting in more rewarding and authentic connections.

3. Reduce Stress and Overwhelm

I usually find travelling an exhilarating but also exhausting experience, as I need time to process and decompress. The hustle and bustle of airports, crowded tourist attractions, and jam-packed itineraries can quickly drain me. I find that slow travel, with its emphasis on fewer destinations and more downtime, reduces the stress associated with constantly being on the move.

By giving myself permission to travel slowly, I can enjoy my journey without the pressure to go everywhere and see all that there is to see (and do.) I can take breaks when needed, indulge in solo activities, and create a travel experience that feels balanced and responsible. This approach not only makes travel more enjoyable but also more sustainable, ensuring that I return home feeling refreshed rather than depleted.

4. Find Time for Reflection and Introspection

For many introverts, travel is not just about discovering new places but also about discovering or re-discovering themselves. I go to great lengths to make this possible for my retreat guests. Slow travel provides ample opportunities for introspection, allowing introverts to process their experiences in their own time. Whether it’s travel journaling in a quiet corner, meditating in the woods, or simply enjoying the solitude of a solo retreat, slow travel facilitates personal growth.

This introspective aspect of slow travel can be particularly valuable for introverts who seek purpose in their journeys. Not always, but I often do, and so do most of my Next Chapter retreat guests. The time spent alone in a new environment can lead to profound insights and a better understanding of one’s values, goals, and desires. In this way, slow travel becomes not just a way to explore the world, but also a path to inner exploration and self-discovery.

To inspire you to travel slowly, I have created this journaling prompt for you: Imagine spending a month in a single destination, a place that you always wanted to visit. What is it about this place—the sights, sounds, or atmosphere—that allows you to truly slow down and savour the moment? What would you do differently compared to a typical tourist trip, and how do you think this would impact your overall experience?
This prompt encourages you to think about the ways you can integrate into a community and make the pace feel like home, rather than just a quick stop on your journey. Reflect on how you could create a rhythm that allows you to connect deeply with your surroundings and truly benefit from your time there.

5. Enjoy Authentic Experiences rather than get caught in Tourist Traps

I mostly shy away from crowded tourist hotspots, preferring instead to seek out more authentic and off-the-beaten-path experiences. Slow travel allows for this type of exploration, as it gives me the time and freedom to discover hidden gems that are often overlooked by the typical tourist. I find joy in the small, quiet moments that make a place unique. Whether it’s stumbling upon a local market, finding a secluded hiking trail, or experiencing the simple pleasure of a home-cooked meal, slow travel has opened the door to authentic experiences that resonate deeply with my need to find meaning in my experiences.

Conclusion

In a world that often values speed and efficiency, slow travel offers a welcome respite, particularly for those of us who thrive on solitude, reflection, and intentional living. By setting a slower pace, we can travel in a way that aligns with our natural tendencies, leading to more meaningful experiences. Slow travel is not just about getting from one place to another; it’s about savouring the journey and connecting with the world around us.

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” – Louis Charles Fougeret de Monbron

In addition to the transformational retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of online courses, ex. The Purpose Protocol – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive notification of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Would you like to live a more purposeful, meaningful and impactful Life? Quiz.

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Harnessing the Power of Quotes to Navigate Major Life Changes

I have always been a quote collector.

I used to store my collection on a USB stick (luckily, these sticks managed to store more and more data, as my collection dramatically increased, over the years.) I often use quotes in my articles and my books – in Embracing Change – in 10 Minutes a Day I added a whole chapter about quotes.

Recently I decided to add my collection to my website, so that my readers may benefit too (and because it increases traffic to my website ;D ) I didn’t just want to add an endless list of other people’s words, I wanted to show you how you can use quotes to make your life easier, so I am in the process of dividing my quotes into themes, and as I publish each theme, I explain how quotes can be used as insight giving questions, motivating affirmations or revealing journal prompts.

“I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.” — Marlene Dietrich

As you may know, after having to figure out how to survive a variety of MAJOR life changes myself, sometimes several at the same time, I have developed a system of coping with the worst of what comes my way, and quotes have always been an important part of this system.

Major life changes can often feel overwhelming, leaving us searching for guidance, comfort, and strength. Whether it’s a career shift, redundancy, retirement, illness, loss, or a significant relationship change, these moments challenge us to adapt and grow. In these times of uncertainty, quotes can serve as powerful tools to help us navigate the complexities of change. They give us impactful grains of wisdom that often resonate on a deeply personal level, offering insight, encouragement, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Quotes have the unique ability to distil complex emotions and experiences into a few words that can shift our perspective. When faced with a major life change, a well-chosen quote can remind us that we are not alone in our struggles and that others have faced similar challenges—and emerged stronger on the other side. For example, the words of Nelson Mandela, “It always seems impossible until it’s done,” can motivate us to keep moving forward even when a situation feels insurmountable.

Moreover, quotes can act as a mental anchor, helping us stay grounded and focused amid the chaos of change. Repeating a meaningful quote can serve as an affirmation, reinforcing positive thoughts and creating a resilient mindset. Quotes can remind us of the importance of perseverance, no matter how many setbacks we meet.

Incorporating quotes into our daily lives during times of transition can also give us a sense of direction. Whether we write them down, post them in visible places, or meditate on them during quiet moments, these words can serve as daily reminders of our inner strength and potential for growth. They encourage us to view change not as an obstacle but as an opportunity to learn, adapt, and become more resilient.

Ultimately, the power of quotes lies in their ability to inspire and uplift us, providing clarity and comfort when we need it most. As we navigate major life changes, these words of wisdom can guide us through uncertainty, offering the support we need to move forward with courage and confidence. So, the next time you find yourself facing a daunting transition, turn to a quote that resonates with you—it might just be the spark that lights the rest of your way.

Introducing My Life-Saving Quote Collection

This collection is a curated set of quotes that have guided me through some of life’s most challenging moments. Each quote in this collection holds special significance, offering wisdom, comfort, and inspiration when I needed it most, even so, some agree with more than others. These quotes have served as beacons of hope, helping me navigate uncertainty and find strength during difficult times. I hope they resonate with you as much as they have with me, providing the encouragement and clarity you need to face whatever life throws your way.

Themes

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Starting a business as an Introvert and an Empath

Understanding the Unique Challenges


Recently, I read that “starting a business is a daunting task for anyone, but for introverts who are also empaths, it can feel impossible. The unique combination of introvert and empath in one mind, presents a distinct set of challenges that require careful handling. Yet, with the right approach, introverts/empaths can turn their sensitivity into a superpower, creating thriving businesses that reflect their values and strengths.”

Very glad to read that, and very relieved to know that I am not the only one who found it a challenge to start a business juggling these two personality traits.

Meet my new friend Sarah, an introverted empath who is passionate about holistic coaching. For years, Sarah dreamed of leaving the corporate world and starting her own life coaching business. She envisioned helping her clients find a balance between their personal and professional lives, much as she did herself. However, as she began to take the first steps toward her entrepreneurial dream, Sarah encountered unexpected hurdles that stemmed from her nature as an introvert and an empath:

1. Emotional Overload and Energy Drain

One of the primary challenges Sarah faced was emotional overload. As an empath, she deeply felt the emotions of her clients, which could be overwhelming. Introverts often recharge through solitude, but running a business requires constant interaction, networking, and decision-making, all of which drain their energy very rapidly.

I know exactly how that feels. I kept burning myself out, and I couldn’t understand why that was happening.

Sarah’s solution was to establish clear boundaries and structure her day to include regular breaks. She also learned to schedule client meetings during times when she felt most energetic, ensuring she could be fully present without depleting her reserves.

2. Networking and Self-Promotion Challenges

Networking events, essential for business growth, were particularly daunting for Sarah. The thought of mingling with strangers, promoting her services, and engaging in small talk (one of introverts’ pet hates) felt exhausting and intimidating. Her natural inclination was to avoid these situations, but she knew that building connections was crucial for her business.

Sarah coped with this problem by embracing digital networking. Platforms like LinkedIn allowed her to connect with potential clients and collaborators without the immediate pressure of face-to-face interaction.

My solution looks something like this: I decide beforehand what I want to achieve: mindfully making a small number of meaningful connections that I can follow up later, rather than spreading myself too thin.

3. Decision-Making and Self-Doubt Difficulties

As an empath, Sarah often second-guessed her decisions, worrying about how they would affect others. This self-doubt made it difficult for her to make confident business decisions, from setting prices to enforcing policies. Her introverted nature compounded this, as she preferred to avoid confrontation and maintain harmony.

To counteract this, Sarah found herself a mentor and joined a community of like-minded (introverted) entrepreneurs. These external sources of support provided her with valuable feedback and encouragement, helping her to trust her instincts and make decisions that aligned with her values. I found several useful groups to join on Facebook.

4. Maintaining Work-Life Balance

The empathic trait of wanting to help others can lead to over-commitment and burnout. Sarah found herself constantly overextending herself to accommodate clients, leaving little time for self-care. Balancing her desire to serve with the need for self-preservation was a delicate undertaking.

As establishing a holistic work/life balance was exactly what Sarah was trying to help her clients with, and failing miserably to do so herself, she decided to attend one of my Manifest Your Next Chapter retreats, to rest and review her approach. Walking the Camino de Santiago gave her the time she needed to reflect, and in the evening we discussed strategies that she may, as an introvert and an empath implement to achieve balance in her own life.

When she got home, Sarah implemented strict boundaries and self-care routines. She scheduled “me time” into her calendar just as she would with any other important appointment. This not only helped her recharge her batteries but also ensured she could offer the best possible service to her clients.

Sarah’s ability to deeply understand and empathise with her clients became one of her greatest business assets. She could intuitively grasp their needs and concerns, allowing her to offer tailored and compassionate services that resonated deeply.

While Sarah struggled with traditional networking, her approach to building authentic, meaningful connections led to loyal clients and a strong word-of-mouth referral base. Her clients appreciated her genuine care and commitment, which set her apart from more transactional business relationships.

Sarah’s empathetic nature translated into thoughtful, client-centered business practices. Her decisions, guided by empathy and integrity, fostered trust and loyalty. This approach also attracted clients who valued ethical and conscientious service providers.

Understanding the need for a peaceful, nurturing work environment, Sarah designed her wellness coaching space to be a sanctuary for both herself and her clients. This environment not only supported her own well-being but also enhanced her clients’ experiences, making her services even more appealing.

Take-Away

By recognizing and addressing the unique challenges of being an introvert as well as an empath, aspiring business owners can turn these traits into strengths that set them apart in the business world. Starting a business may require extra effort and unconventional strategies, but the potential rewards are immense. By embracing our unique qualities, setting clear boundaries, and seeking supportive networks, we can create thriving businesses that reflect our values. Sarah’s story proves that with the right approach, introverts-and-empaths can not only succeed but also excel in the entrepreneurial landscape.

. “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” — Rikki Rogers

In addition to the transformational retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of online courses, ex. The Purpose Protocol – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive notification of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Would you like to live a more purposeful, meaningful and impactful Life? Quiz.

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The Essential Traits of a Transformational Retreat Host

Mastering the Art of Hosting Transformational Retreats: Combining Personal Insight, Professional Skills, and Practical Abilities

Sometimes, as retreat hosts and leaders, we often get lost in the details of everything we want to share with our guests. We know we can help them, we know we can change their lives for the better. We invest huge chunks of our time in planning our retreats, choosing the location to compliment the theme of the retreat, finding the perfect accommodation with the most appealing services, employing the best chefs and making sure the menu caters for all diets AND supports our own view of healthy eating habits, in making sure we get our message across during a variety of carefully curated activities, workshops, discussions etc….et puis voilà! we have created a fully transformational retreat that we are sure our guests need.

So why are so many guests and potential guests objecting that «less is more?»

Let’s start with the word « guest. » I host my retreats at my 200-year-old half-timbered farmhouse in the unspoilt and largely unexplored southwest of France. The people who come to my retreats are guests, house guests, in my home. I often see the words «retreat participants.» This feels too clinical. Are not all people who attend retreats «guests» of the retreat host, even if the retreat is held at an exotic venue designed especially for the purpose?

I think the answer to that question should be «yes,» which brings me to a discovery I have made recently, after more than a decade of hosting retreats.

If we want the transformation to stick, we need to show our guests what to do, and not only tell them what to do. We need to set an example. Telling our guests what they should and shouldn’t do is too easy, what we need to do is model the behaviour we are teaching.

My retreats, directly or indirectly, are about stress management, especially for people who are at a crossroads, who voluntarily or involuntarily, have to make or adapt to major changes in their lives. I tell them my story, and they listen spellbound, but my story is not their story, and although it might capture their attention while they are listening, it will not necessarily inspire them to adopt more effective stress management strategies, nor help them to navigate their own life transition..

But when I show them, day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, what I do to reduce my stress levels, and I show them how they can do it too – that is when they start thinking of making my suggestions part of their routines.

For example, I teach walking meditation as a stress management strategy. I explain to guests how to do it, send them to a page on my website where I explain how to do it and provide them with YouTube links to walking meditation recordings. Putting them in a situation where it comes naturally, where they find themselves trying it out without purposefully deciding to do so, is what I do when I drop them off at the day’s Camino de Santiago de Compostela walk. It is only when they experience the stress-reducing properties of walking meditation themselves, in the moment, as they walk the Camino, that they might start thinking of doing it on the way to work, and on the way home again, at the end of the working day.

Showing, not telling, helps our guests make permanent changes in their behaviour.

Everyone needs a place to retreat; a spot where the world grows quiet enough for the soul to speak. – Angie Weiland Crosby

Being a good role model is one of the most influential attributes of a good retreat host. There are several others. I thought I would list as many as I can think of below:

Personal Qualities

Transformational retreat hosts must be good listeners, compassionate, authentic and patient so that they can connect and build rapport with guests right from the very first contact. They should be inspirational, motivational, organised, flexible, adaptable, supportive, empowering, approachable, dedicated, resourceful, open-minded, humble, reliable, mindful, creative and observant (list not exhaustive.) Emotional agility is another vital quality, being aware of our own emotions and the feelings of others, makes it easier to manage our own and help others manage theirs.

Professional Skills

Fine-tuned facilitation skills are necessary for guiding group discussions, activities, and exercises in a way that encourages everyone to participate and to feel comfortable doing so – and if someone does not want to participate, that should be an acceptable option too. Clear and effective communication skills are needed to convey ideas, and instructions, and generate feedback. Well-developed problem-solving skills are essential for handling any issues or conflicts that may arise during the retreat. Strong organisational skills are required to manage the logistics of the retreat, including scheduling, accommodation, meals, transportation and activities. Flexibility and adaptability allow the host to adjust plans (sometimes at the last minute) based on the needs and dynamics of the group.

Specific Expertise

In-depth knowledge and extensive experience in their specific area of expertise, mindfulness, for example, is critical for a retreat host who wants to help their guests change their lives in a positive way. A retreat host should also possess the skills to educate and impart knowledge in a captivating and engaging manner. Cultural sensitivity is important to understand and respect diverse backgrounds and perspectives of guests, to ensure an inclusive and respectful environment.

Ethical Standards

Maintaining high ethical standards and professionalism in all interactions and decisions is fundamental for a transformational retreat host. Building a sense of community among participants creates a supportive and collaborative environment. Encouraging openness helps participants to share their experiences, but the host also needs to ensure that the privacy and confidentiality of guests’ personal information and experiences are respected.

Physical and Mental Well-being

Sufficient self-care is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL for a retreat host, especially for introverted retreat hosts. Managing and sustaining their energy levels allows retreat hosts to remain fully engaged and supportive throughout the entire retreat, providing consistent guidance and support to guests. I learned the hard way never to start a retreat without fully charged batteries, and to top-up regularly during a retreat, even if it is just a day retreat.

Do I possess all these attributes and characteristics? Er …no. Some days I possess more of them than on other days. But I now own many more of these attributes and characteristics than I did when I started hosting retreats nearly two decades ago. Every retreat I learn something new, and often I adjust my approach accordingly. Hosting retreats is a never-ending learning process, and I love every minute of it.

Have I forgotten anything? Can you think of further attributes/characteristics a good retreat host needs?

In addition to the transformational retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of online courses, ex. The Purpose Protocol – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive notification of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Would you like to live a more purposeful, meaningful and impactful Life? Quiz.

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If You Want to Stress Less, Find Your Life Purpose

“The great and glorious masterpiece of man is to live with purpose.” – Michel de Montaigne

Make Finding Your Life Purpose a Priority

Knowing my purpose in life, during the various stages of my career, and especially during major career changes (and yes, there have been several!) has been an extremely effective stress management strategy. Knowing my life purpose provided a clear sense of direction, it helped me clarify my priorities, allowing me to focus on what truly matters and reducing the stress associated with the characteristic uncertainty of life changes and transitions.

My life purpose essentially stayed the same throughout my working life, although the expression of it changed dramatically after each life and/or work change.

Two decades ago, I adopted this quote as my life purpose: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Transitioning from working as a medical doctor in a big city hospital to a small country practice to eventually starting my own business, as an introvert, certainly challenged me to figure out exactly what my core values are and to define my life purpose as clearly as I could manage. Doing so made me much more comfortable handling the stress these changes generated, and much more resilient as well.

During these career changes, mostly involuntary due to major health disasters, knowing my life purpose made it much less stressful to make major work and life decisions. My life purpose literally acted as a psychological anchor during these tough and uncertain times.

How does knowing your life purpose affect your working life?

Did you know that a 2017 Survey by LinkedIn of more than 8,000 professionals globally showed that only 30% of them felt that they were living their purpose at work? LinkedIn’s 2017 Workplace Purpose Index found that 73% of respondents said they want a career where they feel their job matters, indicating a high level of interest in finding purpose in their professional lives.

Knowing their purpose would enable them to choose a company to work for with similar values as their own, which would theoretically make for a much less stressful work environment. Or bring their values and purpose into their own business.

Since the pandemic, contrary to expectations, it seems that we are not more motivated to make the best of the life we have left, but less. Instead of feeling less stressed, we are as stressed as we always were, and some of us are more stressed than ever. Initially, we were all determined to change our lives for the better, intoxicated by our reclaimed freedom, until all our bad habits had reasserted themselves a couple of years later and the horror of the pandemic was fast becoming no more than a disturbing memory.

I felt as disillusioned as I used to feel in February when I failed yet again to stick to my New Year’s resolutions.

Having a flexible but well-defined life purpose changed that. To give meaning to our lives two years post-pandemic, investing time and energy to work out what your life purpose is could be a very effective stress management strategy.

As you may know, in another life I was a storyteller, an aspiring writer of far-fetched tales about dragons, so bear with me while I tell you Emma’s story, to illustrate what I mean.

Emma’s Epiphany

Emma Daniels was a high-powered businesswoman, known for her sharp acumen and relentless drive. As the CEO of a successful marketing firm, she had everything she thought she wanted: a thriving career, a luxurious apartment in the heart of the city, and a packed social calendar. Yet, despite her achievements, Emma felt a constant undercurrent of dissatisfaction.

During the pandemic, she lost her best friend, Sophia.

Sophia, intelligent and ambitious, climbed up the corporate ladder with singular determination. Her dream was to make enough money so that she could retire at 40, and she worked all hours to accomplish her dream. Finally, just when her dream was within reach, she died from COVID. All her life she worked herself into the ground and never took a day off to enjoy life – her plan was to start enjoying her life as soon as she was retired.

One evening, after a particularly gruelling day filled with back-to-back meetings and endless emails, Emma found herself unable to sleep. As she stared at the ceiling, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something essential was missing from her life. The constant pressure and the unending race to stay ahead were taking a toll on her health and happiness.

Tossing and turning in bed, Emma asked herself: “What’s the point of it all? What is the purpose of life? What am I doing with my life?”

The next weekend, seeking a momentary escape, Emma decided to visit a nearby park. As she sat on a bench, sipping her coffee and watching children play, she noticed a community group planting trees. Drawn to their enthusiasm and the sense of camaraderie they shared, she approached one of the volunteers, an elderly woman named Margaret.

Margaret explained that they were part of an initiative to create green spaces in urban areas, promoting environmental awareness and community bonding. Intrigued, Emma decided to join them, hoping that the physical activity and change of pace might help clear her mind.

Over the next few weeks, Emma found herself increasingly involved with the community group. She discovered a deep sense of fulfilment in contributing to something larger than herself. The act of planting trees and creating beautiful spaces for others to enjoy brought her a joy she hadn’t felt in years.

As she spent more time with the group, Emma began to reflect on her life and career. She realized that her relentless pursuit of professional success had overshadowed other aspects of her life that she once valued. This newfound sense of purpose in environmental conservation opened her eyes to the possibility of integrating her skills and passions in a more meaningful way.

Inspired by her experiences, Emma decided to pivot her marketing firm towards promoting sustainable businesses and eco-friendly products. She rebranded the company with a focus on environmental responsibility and community engagement. This shift not only aligned with her personal values but also tapped into a growing market trend, positioning her firm as a leader in green marketing.

With her business now reflecting her deeper values, Emma found that her stress levels significantly decreased. She felt a renewed sense of energy and enthusiasm for her work. The pressure to constantly compete and prove herself was replaced by a genuine passion for making a positive impact.

Emma also made more time for herself and her community. She continued to volunteer with the tree-planting group, finding solace and joy in the simple act of giving back. Her relationships with her colleagues and friends improved as she became more present and engaged, shedding the facade of the perpetually busy executive.

A Life Transformed

Emma Daniels’ journey from a stressed, high-powered businesswoman to a fulfilled, purpose-driven leader is a testament to the power of finding and living one’s purpose. By aligning her professional pursuits with her personal values, she not only reduced her stress but also created a more meaningful and satisfying life. Emma’s story is a reminder that true success is not just about achieving professional milestones but also about finding joy and purpose in the journey.

Finding your life purpose can significantly reduce stress by providing direction, increasing resilience, improving emotional agility, enhancing decision-making, facilitating better relationships, increasing engagement, and offering spiritual fulfilment. It creates a strong foundation for coping with life’s challenges and making stress more manageable and less impactful.

Life Purpose and Life Changes

As it happens, ;D I have created, with the much-appreciated input of my horses, an online course to help you do exactly that: the Determine your Life Purpose as you start your Next Chapter e-course.

In addition to the transformational retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of online courses, ex. The Purpose Protocol – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive notification of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Would you like to live a more purposeful, meaningful and impactful Life? Quiz.

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