The Search for Meaning During Life Transitions
Alright, so here you are—smack in the middle of a life transition. Maybe you’ve just left a job you had thought would be the job of all jobs. Maybe the relationship you’d bet everything on crumbled faster than a chocolate chip cookie. Or perhaps your kids just moved out, and you’re standing there in the middle of your empty house, wondering, What now?
Life transitions have this irritating tendency to bring up those annoying, existential questions, like this one: Is my life meaningful?
Well, is it? Was it? Can it still be?
The Myth of Constantly Needing to live a Meaning Life
First off, let’s debunk a common myth: Your life doesn’t have to feel meaningful 24/7 365 days/year for it to be meaningful.
We’ve been sold this ridiculous idea that we should wake up every morning feeling like Tony Robbins on a triple espresso, ready to conquer the day with fiery purpose.
Here’s the truth: Meaning ebbs and flows. It’s not a permanent state of being. It’s more like the tide—sometimes it’s rushing in, and other times it pulls back so far you’re left staring at the rocks wondering where on earth the water went.
But that doesn’t mean the ocean has evaporated. It’s still there. just like meaning is still there, waiting for the right moment to come rushing back.
Transitions Make You Feel Like You’re Drowning—In Shallow Water
Life transitions have a sneaky way of making us feel like we’re in at the deep end without a life buoy. And in those moments, everything feels uncertain. You start asking big questions: What does it all mean?
Life doesn’t lose all meaning when you are going through a transition. Transitions are where meaning is born. Every major shift, every time you’ve been shoved into uncomfortable new territory, you’re given the chance to reexamine, redefine, and reshape what gives your life purpose.
Think back to the last time you went through a big change. Maybe it was terrifying. Maybe you flailed around for a while, questioning everything. But what happened? Eventually, you found your footing. And with that, a new spark of meaning flickered into existence.
That’s what transitions do. They tear down the old so you can build something new—something more aligned with who you are now.
Stop Hunting for Meaning Like It’s an Undelivered Amazon Package
Here’s another mistake we make: We treat meaning like it’s something we can check off our to-do list. Like, once we find it, it’ll arrive at our door in a neat little box and we can keep it forever. Sorry to break it to you, but that’s not how this works.
Meaning isn’t some external prize waiting to be discovered. It’s not sitting on top of a mountain, shining at the end of a job title, throbbing in the heart of a relationship, or flashing at the end of an address like a coveted zip code. It’s something you cultivate. It’s an inside job.
You’re probably already living a life full of meaning. You just don’t realise it because you’re too busy scanning the horizon for something bigger, better and shinier.
The Power of Micro-Meaning
If you’re in the midst of a transition, it’s easy to lose sight of the small stuff that gives your life meaning. But here’s the hack: start looking for micro-meanings. These are the tiny, everyday things that matter, even if they don’t come with a breathtaking firework display.
It’s the way you made your friends laugh when they were having a bad day. It’s that book you can’t stop reading because it’s filling your mind with new ideas. It’s the project you’ve been tinkering with, wanting to make someone’s life easier. It’s taking your other half their first cup of coffee in the morning.
These moments? They’re meaningful. Sometimes, the most meaningful moments come in the simplest smallest packages.
Redefine What Matters To You Now
During a transition, it’s easy to let other people’s definitions of success and meaning creep into your head. Instagram has a field day with that—showing you highlight reels of people who seem to have it all figured out. Spoiler alert: they don’t.
Now’s the perfect time to redefine what matters to you. Not to your parents, not to your friends, not to society. To You. What makes you feel alive? What stirs something deep inside that you can’t quite explain, but you know is important?
Life transitions are your opportunity to start again. You’re not the same person you were five, ten, or twenty years ago. What gives your life meaning has probably changed too.
The Meaning of Your Life Is Evolving
You’re hoping for a lightbulb moment, where suddenly, everything makes sense, and you know exactly what to do next. I know I was, until I discovered that you don’t find meaning by sitting on the sidelines or on the fence. You find it by diving headfirst into life, trying to do things differently, making mistakes, and correcting things along the way.
Every step you take, even the small, reluctant, uncertain ones, in alignment with your values, is what makes your life meaningful. YOU make your life meaningful. Or not.
You’re shedding the old layers, making space for something new. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s essential.
This transition? It’s not meaningless—it’s the construction zone where your life’s next chapter is being built.
I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ― Agatha Christie
So, is your life still meaningful? Absolutely. You can give your life meaning, even in the midst of this chaos.
And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive Friesian and Falabella horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a From Troubled to Triumphant transformational retreat to reinvent yourself, rewrite your story and start your sensational next chapter. |
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