Why you should always ask “Why?”

Before You Start Building a New Life

I read a book this week that rocked my world. It was Simon Sinek’s book “Start with Why.”

Simon’s book “Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action” argues that truly inspiring leaders, organisations, and movements distinguish themselves not by what they do or how they do it, but by why they do it.

I made some notes as I went along:

• The Golden Circle: Simon introduces the “Golden Circle” as his central framework, composed of three concentric circles:
  • WHAT: Every company knows what they do (their products or services).
  • HOW: Some companies know how they do it (their unique processes, values, or differentiating factors).
  • WHY: Very few people or organisations can articulate why they do what they do. This isn’t about making money (which is a result), but about their purpose, cause, or beliefs. It’s why they exist, and why anyone should care.
• The Problem with “What” and “How” First: Most businesses and people communicate from the outside-in of the Golden Circle (from WHAT to HOW to WHY). They describe what they offer, then how it’s better, hoping to persuade. This often leads to manipulation (e.g., price drops, promotions, fear-mongering) for short-term gains, but fails to build lasting loyalty or inspiration.
• The Power of “Why” First: Inspiring leaders and organisations, like Apple, Martin Luther King Jr., or the Wright Brothers, communicate from the inside-out (from WHY to HOW to WHAT). They start by clearly articulating their purpose, cause, or beliefs. This resonates deeply with the part of the human brain (the limbic brain) responsible for feelings, trust, and decision-making, leading to genuine connection and loyalty.
• People Don’t Buy What You Do, They Buy Why You Do It: Sinek emphasises that people are drawn to organisations and individuals who share their values and beliefs. When you start with your “Why,” you attract customers and employees who believe what you believe, fostering a sense of belonging and tribe. This creates loyal advocates who are willing to pay a premium or go the extra mile, not just for the product, but for the cause it represents.
• Authenticity and Consistency: For the Golden Circle to work, all three components must be in alignment. Your “Why” must be clear, your “Hows” (your processes and values) must be disciplined and consistent in bringing that “Why” to life, and your “Whats” (your products and services) must be tangible proof of your belief. Inconsistency between your “Why,” “How,” and “What” erodes trust.
• Finding Your “Why”: The book encourages readers to embark on a journey of self-discovery to uncover their authentic “Why.” This “Why” is a statement of purpose that remains constant regardless of what products or services are offered.

In essence, “Start With Why” is a powerful call to leadership driven by motivation rather than manipulation. It argues that by understanding and articulating your fundamental “Why,” you can inspire trust, foster loyalty, and achieve lasting success by connecting with people on a deeper, emotional level.

It’s been a while since I last defined my “why,” so I spent a few days thinking about it. I have just emerged from an impactful, 5-year-long life transition that has taught me valuable lessons, so my purpose was well overdue for an update. I came up with this:

I always try to apply any useful knowledge I pick up from the books I read to what I do/who I am. I have always been convinced that having a well-defined life purpose can make it easier to get through life transitions.

It seems to me that applying Simon Sinek’s principles to finding your personal “why” during difficult times is incredibly powerful because it shifts your focus from the external chaos and what you’re losing, to your essential internal purpose.

1. Difficult Times Force a “Why” Re-evaluation:
   • When everything around you is falling apart (the “What”), and your usual “Hows” (your routines, strategies, or support systems) are no longer working, you’re stripped down to a fundamental level.
   • This is precisely when the superficial “whats” (career, possessions, status) become irrelevant, forcing you to ask: “Why am I doing any of this? Why do I get out of bed in the morning? What truly matters to me?” This crisis can be a catalyst for profound self-discovery.
2. Shifting from “What’s Happening to Me?” to “Why Am I Here For?”:
   • In a crisis, the natural tendency is to focus on the “what” – what went wrong, what was lost, what awful things are happening. This leads to a victim mentality and a sense of helplessness.
   • Sinek’s principle encourages you to flip this. Instead of dwelling on the “what,” turn inward and reconnect with your core purpose. Your “Why” isn’t about what you achieve but why you exist or what contribution you want to make.
3. Your “Why” Becomes Your Unwavering Anchor:
   • When the “What” (your job, health, relationship) changes dramatically, and the “How” (your usual coping mechanisms) falters, your “Why” remains constant. It’s the stable core around which you can rebuild.
   • Knowing your “Why” provides a filter for decision-making during chaos. It helps you prioritise and decide what to fight for, what to let go of, and what new paths align with your deepest beliefs.
4. Inspiring Self-Motivation and Resilience:
   • Just as a company’s “Why” inspires its employees and customers, your personal “Why” inspires you.
   • When you know your “Why,” you’re not just reacting to external events; you’re driven by an internal conviction. This provides a deep well of motivation and resilience to push through adversity, because you’re fighting for something bigger than just surviving—you’re fighting to bring your purpose to life, even in new forms.
   • It helps you answer: “Why should I keep going?” “Why is this struggle worth enduring?”
5. Rebuilding with Intention (New “Hows” and “Whats”):
   • Once your “Why” is clear, you can then (and only then, according to Sinek) design new “Hows” and “Whats” that are authentically aligned with that purpose.
   • For example, if your “Why” is “to help people find profound peace through difficult times,” and you lose your traditional career, you can then explore new ways (How) to deliver that purpose through new offerings (What) – perhaps starting a new venture, volunteering, or engaging in different forms of support.
   • This ensures that any new actions or endeavours are not just random attempts to cope, but purposeful steps towards a life that truly resonates with you.

In essence, during difficult times, applying “Start With Why” means using the crisis as an opportunity to dig deep and rediscover your core purpose. This unchanging “Why” then serves as your guiding star, enabling you to rebuild with greater intention, resilience, and a profound sense of meaning, regardless of the external circumstances.

Having a purpose is of such primordial importance to me, that I have created two “Define Your Life Purpose” Mentoring Programs: The Purpuse Pursuit Protocol is for you if you are still searching for your life purpose, and the Purpose Pivot Protocol – perfect if you have a life purpose that needs adjusting.

In a world full of “what” and “how,” the profound power lies in articulating your “Why.” It’s the beating heart of your message, the magnetic force that draws true connection and loyalty. By understanding and living from your core purpose, you don’t just achieve goals; you inspire movements, foster genuine relationships, and build something far more enduring than success alone – you build trust and a shared sense of belonging.

Understanding Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why”

Q1: What is “The Golden Circle” and why is it important?

A1: “The Golden Circle” is Simon Sinek’s core concept, consisting of three concentric rings: WHAT (what you do), HOW (how you do it), and WHY (your purpose, cause, or belief). Most people and organizations communicate from the outside-in (WHAT to HOW to WHY). Sinek argues that truly inspiring leaders and companies communicate from the inside-out (WHY to HOW to WHAT). This is important because connecting with people’s “Why” – their shared beliefs – taps into the part of the brain that governs trust and decision-making, leading to deeper loyalty and inspiration, rather than just transactional engagement.

Q2: What does Sinek mean by “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it”?

A2: This is a cornerstone of his philosophy. Sinek asserts that customers and employees are not primarily motivated by the features of a product or service (“what” you do) or its unique selling points (“how” you do it). Instead, they are drawn to why an organisation exists – its purpose, values, and vision. When your “Why” resonates with their own beliefs, it creates a powerful sense of connection and belonging, fostering genuine loyalty and advocacy that goes beyond rational considerations.

Q3: How does starting with “Why” differ from traditional business communication?

A3: Traditional communication often focuses on conveying features, benefits, and competitive advantages – essentially, what you do and how you do it. This can lead to short-term gains but relies on manipulation (e.g., price cuts, promotions, fear). Starting with “Why” means leading with your core belief or purpose. It’s about inspiring action by sharing your vision and values first, then showing how your products or services (the “What”) are a tangible manifestation of that “Why.” This approach aims for long-term loyalty and attracts those who are genuinely aligned with your mission.

Q4: Can this concept apply to individuals, not just businesses?

A4: Absolutely. Sinek’s principles are highly applicable to personal lives and careers. Just as an organisation needs a clear “Why” to inspire its stakeholders, individuals can find greater fulfilment, resilience, and impact by understanding their own core purpose. Knowing your personal “Why” guides your decisions, informs your career path, strengthens your relationships, and provides a powerful source of motivation, especially during challenging times. It helps you articulate your unique contribution to the world.

Q5: What are the benefits of finding and communicating your “Why”?

A5: For organisations, benefits include attracting loyal customers, inspiring dedicated employees, fostering innovation, and building a stronger brand identity. For individuals, finding their “Why” leads to increased clarity, purpose, and self-motivation. It enhances resilience during adversity, helps you make more authentic life and career choices, and empowers you to inspire and connect with others on a deeper level. Ultimately, it shifts focus from external achievements to internal fulfilment and impact.

Conclusion

Ultimately, Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” isn’t just theory; it’s a blueprint for authentic leadership and a purposeful life. By identifying your core purpose, you gain unparalleled clarity, cultivate unwavering resilience, and inspire others to join you not just for what you do, but for what you truly believe. Take the time to discover your Why – it’s the most powerful foundation you can build.

Research

Kim ES, Chen Y, Nakamura JS, Ryff CD, VanderWeele TJ. Sense of Purpose in Life and Subsequent Physical, Behavioral, and Psychosocial Health: An Outcome-Wide Approach. Am J Health Promot. 2022 Jan;36(1):137-147.

Schippers MC, Ziegler N. Life Crafting as a Way to Find Purpose and Meaning in Life. Front Psychol. 2019 Dec 13;10:2778. 

Bronk, K. C., Hill, P. L., Lapsley, D. K., Talib, N., & Finch, H. (2009). Purpose, hope, and life satisfaction in three age groups. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 4, 500–510.

Hill, P. L., Cheung, F., Kubel, A., & Burrow, A. L. Life engagement is associated with higher GDP among societies. (2019). Journal of Research in Personality, 78, 210-214.

Fredrickson, B. L., Grewen, K. M., Coffey, K. A., Algoe, S. B., Firestine, A. M., Arevalo, J. M., … & Cole, S. W. (2013). A functional genomic perspective on human well-being. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 110(33), 13684-13689.

Kim, E. S., Sun, J. K., Park, N., Kubzansky, L. D., & Peterson, C. (2013). Purpose in life and reduced risk of myocardial infarction among older US adults with coronary heart disease: a two-year follow-up. Journal of behavioral medicine, 36(2), 124-133.

Hill, P. L., & Turiano, N. A. (2014). Purpose in Life as a Predictor of Mortality Across Adulthood. Psychological Science, 25(7), 1482–1486.