Christmas Calendar Countdown – 5 days to Christmas!

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

The Power of Playfulness

Life transitions can feel heavy, but friendships remind us that it’s okay to set the weight down, even for a little while. Playfulness isn’t just for children—it’s a powerful way to reconnect with joy and strengthen bonds.

Think about the friends who bring out your silly side—the ones who make you dance in the kitchen, play board games until midnight, or laugh so hard you cry. These moments of play are more than fun; they’re healing. They remind you that even in difficult times, life still holds room for lightness.

This holiday season, let yourself embrace playfulness. It’s a gift not only to your friends but also to yourself.

Journaling Prompt: When was the last time you laughed or played with a friend? How did it make you feel, and how can you create more moments like that?

Action Step: Plan a playful activity with a friend today, even if it’s as simple as swapping funny memes or trying a new game.

Interactive Comment: Ready to let joy in? Comment with “Play is my power!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that.

Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Christmas Calendar Countdown – 6 days to Christmas!

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Friends as Mirrors

True friends reflect the best parts of us, even when we can’t see them ourselves. They remind us of our strengths, our potential, and our ability to overcome life’s challenges. In times of transition, this reflection can be a lifeline, helping us rediscover who we are.

Take a moment to think about a friend who sees your light even when you feel surrounded by darkness. What qualities do they notice in you that you sometimes forget? Their belief in you is a gift, one that can inspire you to step into your own power.

Friendships aren’t just about comfort—they’re about growth. When you let friends reflect your strengths back to you, you gain the courage to keep moving forward.

Journaling Prompt: What’s one positive quality a friend has pointed out in you? How can you nurture that quality in yourself?

Action Step: Thank a friend for the way they see and support you. Let them know how their encouragement has made a difference.

Interactive Comment: Ready to see yourself through a friend’s eyes? Comment with “I see my light!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that.

Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Why Do We Volunteer for Life Transitions?

Choosing to go through more than one Major Life Change at the same time

I have often asked myself this question. Why complicate life when I’m already struggling through one life transition, by volunteering for another? With the launch of my new From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground during a Life Quake retreat, I am asking myself this very question, yet again. Why take my business in a new direction, loaded with risk, when I have serious health issues?

When we opt for a life transition, it’s like flipping the Monopoly board and saying, “I don’t want to pass Go, I want to own Boardwalk.” It’s about taking control of the narrative. It’s terrifying. I’ve got people around me saying things like, “But why would you change a formula that works perfectly well?” or “You’re giving up stability for what, unpredictability?” But that’s the thing about choosing a transition—it’s not about the transition itself. It’s about knowing there’s something more out there, even if I can’t explain it to anyone else yet, something that will improve my life and in the long run, be seriously beneficial to my health.

Possible Meaning

A voluntary life transition is a self-initiated change that alters the trajectory of your life. Unlike forced transitions—job losses, illness, or unexpected break-ups—voluntary transitions are intentional choices driven by a desire for change.

Initiating a Major Life Change is about taking ownership of your story and betting on your ability to navigate the unknown. While this choice involves risk, it also carries immense potential for growth, satisfaction, and alignment with your authentic self.

These transitions can range from monumental to subtle:

  • Career shifts: Leaving a secure job to pursue a passion or start a business, ex. a corporate executive quits their high-paying job to start a non-profit addressing a cause close to their heart.
  • Relocation: Moving to a new city, state, or country to explore new opportunities or lifestyles ex. a city dweller decides to leave the urban grind for a quieter, simpler life in the countryside.
  • Relationship changes: Choosing to leave a relationship that no longer serves you, ex. you choose to step away from a long-term relationship, not out of conflict, but because you feel it’s holding both partners back from their potential.
  • Personal growth decisions: Committing to a lifestyle overhaul, like adopting a healthier routine or pursuing higher education later in life.

That’s all fairly clear, but why do this when we are already trying to cope with job losses, health challenges, relationship endings, and countless other involuntary transitions that kick us out of our comfort zone? We often choose to pile on additional major life changes during these already turbulent times. A new parent might decide to switch careers. Someone going through a divorce might move to a different city. A person facing health challenges might embark on a spiritual journey.

Possible Reasons

When life forces change upon us, we often respond by seeking even more change – a pattern that might seem counterintuitive at first glance.

When involuntary changes disrupt our lives, we often feel powerless. Choosing additional transitions can be a way of trying to regain control of our lives. By actively deciding to make changes, we transform ourselves from victims of circumstance into active participants in our life’s direction.

When life throws us off course, we sometimes start asking ourselves questions about the meaning of our lives which can lead to voluntary changes as we attempt to align our lives more closely with our evolving understanding of what matters most.

Possible Benefits

While it might seem unwise to add voluntary challenges to involuntary ones, this pattern may actually represent an adaptive response. When we’re already in a state of flux, we’re often more capable of fundamental transformation than during periods of stability. For example:

  • The health crisis that leads to a complete lifestyle overhaul
  • The job loss that inspires a long-desired career change
  • The end of a relationship that catalyses a geographical move

However, choosing to go through a life transition isn’t without its risks. Adding voluntary transitions to involuntary ones can overwhelm our cognitive and emotional resources, strain our support systems, and complicate the adaptation process.

The key lies in distinguishing between opportunistic transitions and impulsive ones. Before volunteering for additional life changes during turbulent times, consider:

  • Whether the change aligns with your long-term goals
  • If your support system can handle the additional stress
  • Whether the timing leverages the current disruption or merely adds to it
  • If you’re running toward something or away from something

Possible Solutions

Coping with more than one life transition at a time can be challenging. I usually follow the suggestions below (roughly) except, of course, for the last one.)

  1. Clarify Your Why: Understand the deeper reasons behind your desire for change. Is it about fulfilment, growth, or a need for authenticity?
  2. Plan Strategically: While spontaneity has its place, a solid plan can make the transition smoother. Consider finances, timelines, and resources.
  3. Accept the Discomfort: Transitions are rarely smooth. Embrace uncertainty as a sign of progress, not failure.
  4. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who encourage your journey, even if they don’t fully understand it.
  5. Stay Committed: Doubts will arise, but remind yourself why you chose this path. The rewards often come after the hardest parts.
  6. And if you struggle to stay committed why not attend a From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground during a Life Quake retreat here in the sun-blessed south of France? Walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostela is more often than not a life-changing experience.

Possible Pattern

A voluntary transition is a fascinating process that many of us go through, often without realising there’s a pattern to it.

The Contemplation Phase is where it all begins. This is when you start feeling that itch for change. Maybe, you’ve lost your job and you’re daydreaming about a new career, or your relationship has ended and you find yourself browsing real estate listings in a city you’ve always wanted to live in. During this phase, you’re weighing pros and cons, imagining “what if” scenarios, and trying to picture yourself in this new life. It can be exciting, but it can also be seriously scary. You might talk to friends or family about your ideas, seeking their input or validation. This phase can last anywhere from a few weeks to several years, depending on the magnitude of the change and your personal circumstances.

Then comes the Leap of Faith. This is the moment when you decide, “Yes, I’m really doing this!” It’s exhilarating and terrifying all at once. You might feel a rush of adrenaline as you submit your resignation letter, sign up for that degree program, or put your house on the market. This phase is often accompanied by a mix of emotions – enthusiasm for the future, pride in taking control of your life, but also perhaps a twinge of nostalgia or fear about leaving your comfort zone.

Next up is what I like to call the Wrestling Chaos phase. This is where the rubber meets the road, and you start dealing with the nitty-gritty details of your transition. If you’re changing careers, you might be juggling job applications, interviews, and maybe some additional training. If you’re moving, you’re dealing with packing, finding a new place to live, and saying goodbye to familiar faces. This phase can be stressful and overwhelming at times. You might have moments of doubt, wondering if you’ve made the right choice. But it’s also a time of incredible growth and learning.

Finally, you reach the New Order phase. This is when things start to settle down, and you begin to find your rhythm in your new reality. If you’ve moved, you’re starting to feel at home in your new city. If you’ve changed careers, you’re getting comfortable in your new role. This phase is about integration and establishing new routines. You might look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come. There’s often a sense of accomplishment and renewed energy.

It’s important to remember that your path isn’t always linear. You might bounce back and forth between phases, or experience them in a different order. And each phase comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. The contemplation phase requires patience and self-reflection. The leap of faith demands courage. Wrestling chaos calls for resilience and problem-solving skills. And establishing a new order takes time and persistence.

Throughout this journey, it’s crucial to be kind to yourself. Voluntary transitions are bold moves, and they’re not always easy, especially against the background of an existing life transition. But they offer incredible opportunities for personal growth, self-discovery, and creating a life that aligns with your values and aspirations.

Case Study: Sarah’s Story – From Corporate Stability to Entrepreneurial Freedom

Sarah’s story exemplifies how involuntary transitions often catalyze voluntary ones. At 42, she was navigating a difficult divorce after 15 years of marriage when she made a decision that surprised even herself: leaving her secure position as a marketing executive to start her own consulting business.

“The divorce wasn’t my choice,” Sarah explains. “But once my personal life was in upheaval, I realised I had been using my marriage’s stability as an excuse to stay in a career that no longer fulfilled me. If I was rebuilding my life anyway, why not rebuild it exactly as I wanted?”

The timing seemed counterintuitive to many. Her friends and family questioned whether adding career uncertainty to personal upheaval was wise. She had a mortgage to pay and the divorce was already straining her finances. Yet Sarah felt an unexpected clarity amid the chaos.

She used her severance package as seed money and leveraged her existing professional network to secure her first clients. The flexible schedule of self-employment actually helped her better manage divorce proceedings and emotional recovery. While the first year brought significant challenges – including several months of minimal income – Sarah found that the professional challenges provided a welcome distraction from her personal transition.

“Starting my business gave me back a sense of control when my personal life felt uncontrollable,” she reflects. “Yes, it was scary, but I was already facing my fears in other areas. What was one more?”

Three years later, Sarah’s consulting firm is thriving, and she notes that both transitions – though painful – led to necessary growth. “Looking back, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to start my own business if my life hadn’t already been disrupted. The divorce forced me to reimagine my future, and once I was doing that, I decided to reimagine everything.”

Final Thoughts

Voluntary life transitions are a testament to human resilience. They’re proof that sometimes, the biggest changes in life aren’t the ones forced upon us, but the ones we choose, even when it’s painful. Staying in the same place might be easier, but let’s face it: easy eventually does get boring. Choosing a transition is how we keep life spicy—it’s the jalapeño on our otherwise bland nachos of existence.

Why do we choose to jump into another transition when we are already caught up in a barely manageable one? Because waiting around for life to force the issue feels like slow suffocation by mediocrity. It’s better to choose the chaos, own the chaos, and come out the other side saying, “Yeah, it was wild—but I made it.

So, if you’ve been hearing that whisper to take the leap—to quit, to move, to start, to let go—listen. You might just find that the life you’ve been waiting for is on the other side of the decision only you can make.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Christmas Calendar Countdown – 7 days to Christmas!

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Celebrating Small Wins in Friendship

In times of transition, it’s easy to overlook the small, beautiful moments that make life meaningful—especially in friendships. These small wins could be as simple as an honest conversation, a laugh shared over coffee, or a moment of understanding that reminds you why this person is in your life.

Friendships don’t need grand milestones to thrive. They flourish in the quiet, consistent acts of care and attention that you both invest in each other. Celebrate the friend who checks in on you, the one who makes you smile when things feel heavy, or the friend who simply sits with you in silence.

This holiday season, honour these small but powerful wins. They are the threads that weave strong, lasting bonds. Even acknowledging these moments can deepen your gratitude for the people in your life.

Journaling Prompt: What’s a small but meaningful moment you’ve shared with a friend recently? How did it make you feel?

Action Step: Share a small win with a friend today. Let them know how much that moment meant to you.

Interactive Comment: Appreciate the little moments? Comment with “Small wins, big heart!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that.

Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!


Did You Try Anything NewThis Year?

Choosing Change, One Brave Step at a Time

This year has been a wild ride of personal discoveries, unexpected U-turns, and brave first steps. I’m sitting here reflecting on all the ways I’ve challenged myself, pushed beyond my comfort zone, and embraced change – even when it felt absolutely terrifying.

Can you believe it? We are, inching toward the end of the year already! Looking back at the past year I have a question for you: Did you try something new this year?

Trying something new is like planting seeds in unfamiliar soil. Sometimes they sprout, sometimes they don’t—but you learn either way.

Life transitions have a way of pushing us to either retreat into the familiar or to boldly step forward and embrace change. Maybe…

  • You’re starting over after a breakup or loss.
  • You’re switching careers, or stepping into retirement.
  • Your kids have left the house, and you’re wondering, what now?
  • Or maybe you’ve hit a point where you’re just tired of the same routine and ready to rediscover what excites you.

If you’re nodding along because it has been one of those years for you, let’s take a walk together through this idea. We’ll talk about why “new” is so powerful during times of transition, how to choose what to try, and what happens when you take that leap—even the tiniest one.

Why Trying New Things Matters During Life Transitions

Let’s face it—transitions are uncomfortable. Even the positive ones, like starting a dream job, can feel unnerving because you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. You’re leaving the “known” behind and moving into something that hasn’t yet become routine.

And this is where trying new things becomes a superpower.

Here’s why:

  1. It helps you reconnect with yourself.
    During big life changes, we can sometimes lose sight of who we are. Trying something new—whether it’s a new skill, a habit, or a way of seeing the world—reminds us that we’re still curious, growing humans. It lets us rediscover parts of ourselves we may have forgotten.
  2. It sparks joy and excitement.
    New experiences wake us up. Even if you’re feeling stuck or heavy with uncertainty, trying something new can act as a little light switch, illuminating the days in ways you didn’t expect.
  3. It builds confidence.
    When you step out of your comfort zone (even just a toe outside), you show yourself that you can handle newness. You’re adaptable. You’re capable. And this confidence spills into other areas of your life, too.
  4. It creates momentum.
    Feeling stuck? Trying one new thing—no matter how small—can kickstart momentum in your life. It’s a signal to yourself that you’re moving forward, not just standing still.

And here’s the encouraging part: you don’t have to “get it right.” Maybe you try cooking a new recipe, and it’s a disaster. Who cares? You tried. You stretched. And you now probably have a very funny story to tell.

What Counts as ‘New’?

You might be reading this and thinking, “But I don’t have time to take up a new hobby.” Or maybe, “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Here’s the truth: new doesn’t have to be big, dramatic, or Instagram-worthy. It just has to feel different.

  • A New Habit: Trying a different coffee flavour. I’m now hooked on “Extra Corsé.” Drinking water as soon as you wake up. Journaling your thoughts.
  • A New Skill: Learning to crochet, picking up a camera, or experimenting with watercolour painting.
  • A New Experience: Taking yourself to a restaurant solo for the first time. Watching a documentary about a topic you know nothing about.
  • A New Perspective: Reading a book that challenges your worldview. Asking a friend or partner deep questions.
  • A New Place: Visiting a park in your town you’ve never seen. Walking a different route around your neighbourhood.

See what I mean? You don’t have to overhaul your life.

How to Decide What to Try Next

If you’re feeling inspired but a little stuck, here are a few questions to help you brainstorm:

  1. What have you always been curious about?
    That thing you’ve secretly wanted to try but never let yourself? Start there.
  2. What would feel fun or lighthearted?
    Life transitions can be heavy. What’s something playful or joyful you can add?
  3. What aligns with the person you’re becoming?
    Who do you want to be in this next chapter of your life? What “new” thing could help you step into that?
  4. What’s one tiny change that would shake up your routine?
    Sometimes it’s as simple as swapping coffee for tea in the morning. Little shifts count.

You don’t need a grand plan. Let curiosity be your guide.

If You Tried Something New this Year—Congratulations!

Maybe you’re already looking back and thinking about the ways you stretched yourself this year. Maybe you

  • Started therapy and learned something surprising about yourself
  • Took a community class in something you’ve always been curious about
  • Began setting boundaries in relationships that needed them
  • Started a morning routine that actually feels nurturing, not punishing
  • Learned to say “no” without feeling guilty

These might seem small, but they’re revolutionary. They’re the building blocks of genuine personal growth.

For some, this year meant ending long-term relationships. For others, it meant starting new ones. Some people changed careers, while others went back to school. Some travelled, some stayed put and went deep into personal development. The common thread? A commitment to making a change, to not staying stuck.

Whatever it was, take a moment to celebrate it. You showed up. You said “yes” to something new. That’s no small thing.

If you tried something new this year and it didn’t work out? Not every experiment will be a success. And that’s okay. You’re braver than most. You learned something. You expanded your understanding of yourself.

And if you’re reading this thinking, I haven’t tried anything new yet—guess what? There’s still time. There are still 13 days left in the year. Try something that made you feel just a little more alive, curious, or even a bit uncomfortable in a good way, like stretching sore muscles.

Not a life-changing leap, but a small, manageable experiment that shifts something—anything—in your day. What whisper of an idea have you been ignoring? What tiny step could you take that might open up a whole new world? How about

  • Learning a language
  • Starting a small side business
  • Joining a community group
  • Writing that book you’ve always talked about
  • Reconnecting with old friends

You don’t have to have it all figured out to start. The specifics don’t matter as much as the spirit behind them. The spirit of “I’m willing to see what happens if I step slightly outside my comfort zone.”

You don’t need permission. You don’t need a perfect plan.

Your Turn: What’s Your “New?”

Life transitions aren’t just about what we lose or leave behind. They’re also about what we gain—what we invite into our lives that’s fresh, unexpected, and maybe even a little messy.

I spoke with Mark, a 35-year-old software engineer who decided to volunteer with a local youth mentorship program. “I’ve always been more comfortable with code than with people,” he shared. “But this year, I wanted to challenge that narrative about myself.” His experience wasn’t just about helping teenagers – it was about helping himself grow, about discovering dimensions of himself he’d never explored.

Change can be rejuvenating. We’re still growing. Still becoming. Here’s to the experimenters, the curious souls, the brave hearts who are willing to say “Why not?” instead of “What if?”

Keep trying. Keep growing. Keep becoming.

Isn’t that what life is all about?

What if you knew that you have such a fool-proof strategy to cope with challenges that you will never get stressed about dealing with change again? Embracing Change – in 10 minutes a Day will empower you to cope with whatever change comes your way if you are willing to spend 10 minutes a day investing in your future.

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract (cert,) Transformational Life Coach (dip,) Life Story Coach (cert) Counselling (cert,) Med Hypnotherapy (dip) and EAGALA (cert)

Christmas Calendar Countdown – 9 days to Christmas!

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

December 17, 2025, 8 days to Christmas

Distance doesn’t have to weaken friendships. In fact, it can often make them stronger if both parties are willing to invest time and effort. The holiday season is the perfect time to reach out to friends who live far away and remind them of your connection.

A heartfelt letter, a thoughtful video message, or even a virtual coffee date can rekindle the warmth of your bond. These gestures show your friend that no matter how far apart you are, they still hold a special place in your life.

Friendship bridges aren’t built on grand gestures—they’re built on consistency and care. Even a quick “thinking of you” message can span the miles.

Journaling Prompt: Who is a long-distance friend you miss? What’s one way you could reach out to them this season?

Action Step: Send a message, call, or video chat with a long-distance friend today. Let them know you’re thinking of them.

Interactive Comment: Ready to reconnect across the miles? Comment with “Distance won’t stop me!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that.

Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

#christmascountdown
#friendsforever
#friendsforlife
#friendship
#friendshipquotes

Stop Using Your Energy to Worry

Use It to Create, Connect, Learn, Grow, Glow, and Heal

Hey, you. Yes, you. The one sitting there, on the orange coach, replaying that awkward conversation in your head for the fifth time today. Or maybe you’re stressing about the future—all those “what ifs” swirling around like a storm cloud over your head. We’ve all been there. Let’s be honest though—worrying is exhausting. It steals your energy, your focus, and sometimes, even your sleep.

Let’s have a little heart-to-heart about this: You do realise that worrying doesn’t just drain your energy; it can also mess with your mental health? So, let’s chat about why we should stop using our precious energy to fret during life transitions and how we can shift that focus to something way more productive.

Why Do We Worry?

First off, let’s get real about why we worry. It’s like our brains have this built-in alarm system that goes off at the slightest hint of danger. Whether it’s stressing over work deadlines, relationship issues, or even what to have for dinner, our minds can spiral into a whirlwind of “what ifs.” And most of what we worry about never actually happens! Research shows that about 85% of the things we stress over turn out to be either not true or not as bad as we imagined. So why waste all that precious energy?

The Cost of Worrying

Worrying can take a toll on your body and mind. It leads to stress, anxiety, and even physical issues like headaches and fatigue. Plus, it can zap your inspiration, motivation and creativity. When you’re stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, it’s hard to focus on what really matters or enjoy your life. Imagine if you redirected all that mental energy into something useful! You could write that book you always wanted to write, connect with friends, or go for a walk in the woods…

Worrying is exhausting. It can cloud our thinking, making it harder to remember things or make decisions because stress takes a toll on our brain’s ability to function well. It can also mess with our sleep, leaving us tossing and turning instead of getting the rest we need. And let’s not forget how it affects our relationships; constantly worrying might make us pull away from friends and family, leading to isolation. On top of that, while some people think worrying might motivate them, it usually just leads to procrastination and a lack of productivity.

All that energy you’re spending on worrying CAN be redirected. Imagine channelling it into something that actually serves you—something that helps you create, connect, learn, grow, glow, and heal.

In this article, we’re going to break down how you can stop fueling your worries and start nurturing yourself instead. Let’s talk about how to take all that mental energy and use it to build a life you love wholeheartedly first, and then I’ll tell you Susan’s story.

1. Use Your Worry-energy to Create

When you’re anxious or worried, your brain tends to buzz. It’s like an overworked computer with too many tabs open (I have 44 open at this moment ;D)—each thought demanding your attention. So here’s a trick: instead of letting that energy go to waste, channel it into creation.

Maybe you’re a writer—open that journal and pour your feelings onto the page. If art’s your thing, grab some paints or a pencil and start sketching. Even something as simple as doodling or knitting can ground you.

Creativity isn’t just about art, though. You can create solutions to your problems, a healthier routine, or even a better mood by cooking something delicious. Take all the power you’re putting into worry and transform it into something tangible—something you can be proud of.

Keep in mind that creativity isn’t about perfection. It’s about expression. The more you create, the more you remind yourself: I’m capable of turning my thoughts into something useful.

Try this: Next time you find yourself spiralling into worry, take 15 minutes to create something. Bake cookies, write a poem, or even rearrange your room. The act of creating will quiet the noise in your mind and give you a sense of achievement.

2. Connect: Reach Out and Strengthen Your Relationships

Worry can make us feel isolated, but it doesn’t have to. The truth is, you don’t have to deal with your fears and anxieties alone. One of the best ways to use your energy is to connect with others—whether it’s your family, friends, or even strangers who share your experiences.

Think about it: when you’re with people you care about, you feel lighter. Laughter, meaningful conversations, and even a simple text message can remind you that you’re not alone in this big, messy world.

Plus, connections are powerful tools for growth. Every interaction teaches you something—whether it’s about others or about yourself. You build empathy, understanding, and, most importantly, a support system that can help you when times get tough.

Try this: Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Or go out for coffee with someone who inspires you. Focus on being present and see how quickly your worries fade when you’re surrounded by people who lift you up.

3. Learn: Increase Your Understanding

Here’s a game-changer: use your worrying as a signal to learn something new. If you’re stressing about a problem, take a step back and ask yourself, What can I learn from this? Maybe you need to gain more knowledge about a situation, or maybe it’s an opportunity to grow your skills.

For example, if you’re worried about money, take that energy and learn about budgeting or investing. If you’re anxious about a big project at work, spend time developing skills that will help you tackle it with confidence.

When you choose to learn, you flip the script on worry. Instead of letting it control you, you take control of it. You turn a negative into an opportunity, and suddenly, you’re empowered rather than overwhelmed.

Try this: Identify one worry that’s been nagging you and spend 30 minutes learning about it. Watch a video, read an article, or ask an expert. Even a small amount of knowledge can give you the confidence to move forward.

4. Grow: Use Your Struggles to Become Stronger

Growth often comes from discomfort—from those moments when you feel stretched thin or unsure of yourself. Instead of fighting these moments or worrying about them, embrace them as a chance to grow.

Ask yourself:

  • What can I learn from this challenge?
  • How can I become stronger, wiser, or more resilient because of it?

When you approach life with a growth mindset, even the things that worry you become tools for transformation. You start to see setbacks as opportunities, failures as lessons, and stress as a catalyst for change.

Try this: Write down one area of your life where you want to grow. Set a small goal, and take one action toward it today. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but growth always starts with a little stretch.

5. Glow: Take Care of Yourself, Inside and Out

Worrying can drain your energy, leaving you feeling dull and run down. So, why not take that energy and use it to glow instead? I’m talking about self-care—the kind that nourishes your body, mind, and spirit.

Go for a walk, soak up some sunshine, or try a quick yoga session. Treat yourself to a long bath, a skincare routine, or a good book. Fuel your body with healthy food and your mind with positive thoughts.

When you take care of yourself, you radiate energy—you glow. And when you glow, you naturally feel more confident, more at peace, and less prone to worrying about things that don’t serve you.

Try this: Spend 10 minutes doing something that makes you feel good about yourself. Dance in your living room, drink your favourite tea, or write down three things you love about yourself. Watch how your mood shifts.

6. Heal: Let Go and Move Forward

Finally, let’s talk about healing. Worry often comes from holding onto past hurts, regrets, or mistakes. It’s like carrying around a backpack full of rocks—heavy and exhausting. What would happen if you chose to let it go?

Healing doesn’t mean pretending everything’s okay. It means acknowledging your feelings, processing them, and then releasing them so you can move forward. It’s about forgiving yourself, forgiving others, and making peace with what’s out of your control.

When you focus on healing, you reclaim your energy. You give yourself the freedom to move forward without the weight of worry holding you back.

Try this: Write a letter to yourself or someone you need to forgive. You don’t have to send it—just get the words out. Release the pain, and remind yourself that you deserve peace.


Susan’s Story

Susan stared at her phone, the screen glowing in the dim light of her living room. It had been three days since her last message to her best friend—a simple, “How are you doing?”—and the silence on the other end had begun to feel personal. Did I say something wrong? Is she upset with me? Her mind began crafting scenarios, each one worse than the last. The worry twisted in her stomach like a knot.

She sighed and sank deeper into her orange couch, pulling a blanket up to her chin. This was her routine: sit, scroll, and worry. She was so tired of it—tired of feeling isolated, tired of feeling like the world moved on without her. Somewhere, deep down, she knew she needed to do something—anything—to pull herself up.

On impulse, she grabbed her phone again. But this time, instead of staring at the messages she hadn’t received, she started typing. Hey, remember that time we tried making pizza and nearly burned the house down? I’ve been thinking about you. How’s life? She hit send before she could talk herself out of it.

Minutes passed. Then hours. Nothing. But something shifted in Susan. Sending that message felt… good. Like throwing a pebble into a still pond, creating ripples she couldn’t see yet. She decided to keep going.

Over the next few days, Susan made a choice. Each time worry crept in, she redirected it. Instead of spiralling, she sent a message to a friend, commented on an old photo, or called someone she hadn’t spoken to in months. Sometimes they responded; sometimes they didn’t. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Susan was reaching out.

One afternoon, as she stood at the sink washing dishes, her phone buzzed. It was a message from her best friend: Sorry I’ve been MIA. Life’s been a mess, but I miss you. Coffee this weekend?

Susan smiled, warmth flooding her chest. The worry that had sat there for weeks now felt lighter, softer—like a balloon she could release into the sky. She realized something important: connection wasn’t about waiting for people to come to her. It was about reaching out, one small gesture at a time.

From then on, Susan made a promise to herself: whenever worry tried to take over, she’d make connections. And for the first time in a long time, Susan felt less alone.

What type of friend are you? How well do you know your friends? Are you and a new friend really compatible? Get access to a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you find out by filling in the form below.

Final Thoughts: Direct Your Energy

At the end of the day, your energy is one of your most valuable resources. You get to decide where it goes. Worry will always try to steal it, but you have the power to say no. Instead of feeding those endless loops of anxiety, choose to use your energy to create, connect, learn, grow, glow, and heal.

The more you practice this, the more natural it becomes. Slowly but surely, you’ll stop seeing worry as an enemy and start seeing it as a reminder: a reminder to focus on the things that bring you joy, peace, and purpose.

So take a deep breath. Let go of what you can’t control. And use that beautiful energy of yours to build a life you love—one moment, one action, one choice at a time.

You’ve got this.

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract (cert,) Transformational Life Coach (dip,) Life Story Coach (cert) Counselling (cert,) Med Hypnotherapy (dip) and EAGALA (cert)

References:

  1. Bredemeier K, Berenbaum H (January 2008). “Intolerance of uncertainty and perceived threat”. Behaviour Research and Therapy. 46 (1): 28–38. 
  2. Csikszentmihalyi M (1997). Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (1st ed.). New York: Basic Books. p. 31 – see Csikszentmihalyi’s flow model
  3. Hirsch CR, Mathews A (October 2012). “A cognitive model of pathological worry”. Behaviour Research and Therapy50 (10): 636–646. 
  4. Kate Sweeny; Michael D. Dooley (18 April 2017). “The surprising upsides of worry”. Social and Personality Psychology Compass. 11 (4): e12311

Why Do You NEED A Narrative Identity?

Change Your Narrative Identity, Change Your Life

Have you ever stopped to think about the story you tell yourself about your life? Not the one you share at parties or job interviews—the polished, edited self-promotional version—but the one that runs like a voiceover in your head as you reflect on where you’ve been, who you are now, and where you’re headed?

That story has a name. It’s called your self-narrative or narrative identity, and it’s way more powerful than you might think.

We are all storytellers at heart. The stories we tell about our lives help us make sense of what we experience. They shape our sense of self, our decisions, and even our ability to find purpose in what we do. Whether we’re overcoming a challenge, starting fresh, or trying to figure out what comes next, understanding our self-narrative can be the key to getting unstuck and finding new direction.

So, let’s talk about what self-narrative is, why it matters, and how you can use it to get closer to discovering your life purpose.

What is Your Self-Narrative/Narrative Identity?

Narrative identity is the idea that we make sense of who we are by creating stories about our lives. Psychologist Dan McAdams describes it as your narrative identity, an evolving life story that gives your experiences meaning. It’s the way you make sense of the highs, lows, and everything in between. It’s how you weave together your past, present, and future into a cohesive tale that answers the big questions:

  • Who am I?
  • How did I get here?
  • Where am I going?

Think of it like the script of a movie where you are the main character. Your life events are the scenes, the people around you are the supporting cast, and the challenges you face are the plot twists. How you frame those scenes makes all the difference. Are you the hero overcoming adversity? The wanderer searching for meaning? The survivor who turns suffering into wisdom?

Your self-narrative isn’t just about the facts of your life—it’s about how you interpret them.

We create our identity by integrating our life experiences into an evolving story that provides us with a purpose in life. This life narrative integrates our reconstructed past, perceived present, and imagined future. Our stories have characters, imagery, a setting, plots, themes, turning points, challenges, and resolutions and often follow the traditional model of a story, having a beginning (initiating event), middle (an attempt and a consequence), and an end (denouement).

Narrative Identity is important because it helps us

  • Make sense of our lives by creating coherence out of our experiences.
  • Grow and heal as we reframe challenges.
  • Understand and communicate who we are to others.

The Essentials of Narrative Identity:

  1. It connects the dots: Narrative identity integrates your past, present, and future into a single, coherent story.
  2. It makes sense of experiences: We reflect on our lives and give meaning to challenges, milestones, and turning points.
  3. It changes as we grow: Just like any good story, our life narrative evolves as we learn, face new experiences, and reframe old ones.
  4. It’s shaped by culture: The way we tell our stories—what we highlight, how we frame events—is often influenced by cultural norms and traditions.

A Few Examples:

  • Overcoming adversity: A tough experience might be reframed as a “hero’s journey” where you grew stronger because of the challenges you faced.
    • For instance: “After my divorce, I walked the Camino de Santiago and discovered my independence and inner strength.”
  • Finding purpose: A life change can be seen as answering a deeper calling.
    • “Leaving my corporate job to work with horses wasn’t a setback. It was me stepping toward what I was truly meant to do.”
  • Reinterpreting setbacks: Sometimes, looking back helps us see difficult events as turning points or lessons.
    • “Burning out at work forced me to reevaluate my priorities and rebuild healthier boundaries.”

Why Your Story Matters

Your self-narrative is powerful because the way you tell your story shapes your reality. Let me explain.

Imagine two people who experienced the same thing—say, a career that didn’t pan out.

  1. One person tells themselves: “I’m a failure. I’m not good at anything, and I’ll never succeed.”
  2. The other person frames it as: “That job wasn’t the right fit for me. It taught me a lot about what I don’t want, and now I’m ready to pursue something more meaningful.”

Same event, two very different stories. And those stories will shape how each person moves forward.

The first person’s narrative might keep them stuck, weighed down by shame and self-doubt. The second person’s story reframes the experience as a stepping stone—a valuable part of their journey toward something better.

See what I mean? Your story influences how you see yourself, what you believe you’re capable of, and the choices you make next.

Your Narrative Identity and Your Mental Health

Our narrative identity plays a big role in our mental health—people who can turn tough experiences into positive stories tend to feel happier. It also shapes our goals and dreams, guiding how we think about our future and what we want to achieve. When it comes to work, the stories we tell ourselves about our skills and experiences can steer our career choices. Plus, how we handle challenges in our narratives can either build resilience or make things tougher emotionally. Our self-concept and identity are all tied up in these stories, too, and they can even influence how well we do in school. On a broader level, our narratives reflect cultural values and help us fit into our communities. They also affect how we manage our emotions and make decisions in everyday life.

Take our relationships, for example. The stories we tell about our lives affect how we connect with others. For one, they help us understand how we view ourselves and how we think others see us, which can change the way we interact. When we share our real experiences and feelings, it builds trust and makes those connections deeper. Plus, our stories set up expectations for how we want to be treated and what we expect from others. Basically, the narratives we live by play a huge role in shaping the quality of our relationships.

Think about it this way: if you’ve got a story in your head that you’re always the one who gets left behind, you might be super clingy in relationships without even realising it. Or if your narrative is all about being strong and independent, you might have a tough time letting people in or asking for help when you need it. Our stories don’t just affect how we behave; they also influence how we interpret what others do. If your friend doesn’t text you back right away, your personal narrative might lead you to think, “See? Nobody really cares about me,” or it might have you shrugging it off like, “They’re probably just busy.”

When we share our stories with others, it can create an amazing bond. It’s like, “Hey, I’ve been through this stuff too!” and suddenly, you’re connecting on a whole new level.

But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes our narratives can clash with others’ stories, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts. If one person’s story is all about needing lots of alone time, and their partner’s narrative is about always being together, you can see how that might cause some friction.

The good news is that once we’re aware of our narratives, we can work on changing them if they’re not serving us well. It’s like editing our own life story to create healthier, happier relationships.

Life Purpose and Your Self-Narrative

So, where does life purpose come into all this? Well, discovering your purpose often starts with understanding your story.

Life purpose isn’t something you magically stumble upon one day. It’s something you uncover by reflecting on your experiences, connecting the dots, and noticing the themes and values that keep showing up in your life.

Here’s how self-narrative plays a role:

  1. It helps you identify what matters to you: When you look back at your story, certain themes will stand out. Maybe you’ve always felt drawn to helping others, creating beauty, or seeking adventure. These themes are clues to your values and purpose.
  2. It reframes challenges as part of your growth: The struggles you’ve faced can become meaningful chapters in your story. Rather than seeing them as failures or setbacks, you can see them as the experiences that shaped who you are and prepared you for what’s next.
  3. It reveals your unique strengths and gifts: Every good story has a main character with certain qualities that make them who they are. When you reflect on your life, you can identify your own strengths—whether that’s resilience, creativity, empathy, or determination—and how you can use them in a purposeful way.
  4. It shows you how far you’ve come: Sometimes we forget to acknowledge the progress we’ve made. Your story can remind you of the challenges you’ve overcome and the growth you’ve experienced, which can give you the confidence to take the next step.

Finding out more about narrative identity has had such an impact on my way of thinking that I have decided to add the concept to my Rearing to Get Going in a New Direction online course about finding your life purpose, especially during life transitions.


If you are going through a life transition—like the people I work with on my Camino de Santiago walking retreats or in my online courses—understanding and rewriting their personal story can be a powerful way to move forward. It helps them find meaning in what they’ve been through, make peace with the past, and envision a new, hopeful future.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Why just survive when you can thrive? Enrol in my How to Survive a Life Quake 7-part online course. Think of it as your step-by-step survival kit for those “what-on-earth-just-happened” moments in life.

References

  • Lodi-Smith, J.; Geise, A.C.; Roberts, B.W.; Robins, R.W. (2009). “Narrating personality change”. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 96 (3): 679–689.
  • McAdams, D (2001). “The psychology of life stories”. Review of General Psychology. 5 (2): 100–122.
  • McLean, K.C.; Fournier, M.A. (2008). “The content and processes of autobiographical reasoning in narrative identity”. Journal of Research in Personality. 42 (3): 527–545.
  • McLean, K.C.; Pasupathi, M.; Pals, J.L. (2007). “Selves creating stories creating selves: a process model of self-development”. Personality and Social Psychological Review. 11 (3): 262–78. CiteSeerX 10.1.1.433.7582.
  • Pals, J.L. (2006). “Narrative identity processing of difficult life experiences: Pathways of personality development and positive self-transformation in adulthood”. Journal of Personality. 74 (4): 1079–1110.
  • Woike, B.; Polo, M. (2001). “Motive-related memories: content, structure, and affect”. Journal of Personality. 69 (3): 391–415.
  • Baumeister, R.F.; Newman, L.S. (1994). “How stories make sense of personal experiences: Motives that shape autobiographical narratives”. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 20 (6): 676–690.
  • Murray, S. L.; Holmes, J. G. (1994). “Storytelling in close relationships: The construction of confidence”. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 20 (6): 650–663.
  • Pennebaker, J.W. (2000). “Telling stories: The health benefits of narrative”. Literature and Medicine. 19 (1): 3–18.

Christmas Calendar Countdown – less than 10 days to Christmas!

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

The Gift of Presence

In a world filled with distractions, one of the most meaningful gifts you can offer a friend is your full presence. Being present isn’t about doing or saying the “right” thing—it’s about showing up fully, with an open heart and undivided attention.

When you’re truly present, you create a safe space for your friend to share their thoughts, fears, and joys. It’s in these moments of deep connection that friendships grow stronger. This holiday season, give the gift of your presence. Turn off your phone, silence the noise, and simply be there.

Presence is also a gift you can give yourself. When you slow down and embrace the moment, you’ll find clarity and peace, even amid life’s transitions.

Journaling Prompt: What does being present mean to you? How can you practice presence in your friendships this season?

Action Step: The next time you’re with a friend, focus entirely on them. Listen without planning your response, and let the moment guide your connection.

Interactive Comment: Ready to embrace presence? Comment with “Here and now!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that.

Included:
How well do you know your Friends? Quiz
What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz
20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and
20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

It’s Time to Leave it All behind in 2024

2025: A Year of Possibilities

As we approach the start of 2025, I am reviewing 2024—the good, the middling and the downright disastrous. It has been a year of stratospheric highs and mind-scrambling lows. Why is it that the struggles, disappointments, regrets, unmet expectations and failures are still clinging to me like invisible weights, dragging my spirits down? I have decided that it’s time to release them—time to write them down on paper, then tear up the paper or burn it safely as a symbolic act to remind myself that the past does not define my future.

Because 2025 is a clean slate—a chance to let go of the baggage that’s been weighing us down and holding us back and step into the future with courage, determination and intention. 2024 might have been a difficult year, but it was also a year of discoveries. I have learnt a lot, and I am taking my business in a whole new direction as a result.

Why Letting Go Matters

Think about this for a moment: how much mental energy do we spend rehashing the past? Whether it’s reliving mistakes we made, holding onto grudges, or worrying about things we can’t change, those thoughts take up a lot of space in our minds and hearts.

The truth is that mistakes and failures are part of life—but they don’t have to define us. Every mistake we make teaches us something valuable. Maybe 2024 wasn’t everything you hoped it would be. Maybe you didn’t realise all (or any) of your goals, or a dream didn’t pan out the way you wanted. That’s okay. Those experiences were stepping stones that helped you grow, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean pretending that the hard stuff didn’t happen. It means choosing to stop lugging it around.

How to Let Go

So, how do we actually let go? It starts with reflecting on the past year in a kind and honest way. Take some time to think about these questions:

  • What went well in 2024? What are you proud of?
  • What didn’t go as planned, and what did you learn from it?
  • What do you need to leave behind to make space for new growth?

When you reflect like this, you’re not beating yourself up—you’re learning. Maybe you realise you’ve been too hard on yourself or that you’ve been carrying someone else’s expectations instead of your own dreams. Recognising those things is powerful because it allows you to release them.

Forgive So That You Can Move Forward

Another big part of leaving the past behind is forgiveness. This might mean forgiving someone who hurt you or forgiving yourself for mistakes you’ve been holding onto. Let’s be real—none of us are perfect. We all mess up. But holding onto anger, regret, or guilt only ties us to the past.

Think of forgiveness as cutting a cord. When you let go of those negative emotions, you’re freeing yourself. It’s not about letting someone “off the hook”; it’s about giving yourself the peace you deserve.

Setting Intentions for 2025

Once we’ve let go of the past, we get to turn our attention to the future. And here’s where I think we often go wrong with New Year’s resolutions: we make them too rigid, too big, or too rooted in perfection. I have never been very good at keeping New Year’s resolutions, and although I totally understand how effective setting SMART and even SMARTER goals can be, I have never been able to make it work for me.

So, instead of saying, “I’ll exercise 5 days a week for 30 minutes” or “I’ll save X amount of money by July 2025,” what if we set intentions that are more about how we want to feel or who we want to become? For example:

  • “I want to be healthier, sleep better and feel more energised.”
  • “I want to make choices that support my long-term happiness.”
  • “I want to be kinder to myself and others.”

Keep it simple, and focus on growth, not perfection. And when you anchor your goals in something meaningful, you’re more likely to stick with them.

In fact, one of the most precious gifts you can give yourself in 2025 is simplicity. Imagine stepping into the year as if you’re boarding a plane to a dream destination. What would you pack in your carry-on?

  • Pack: gratitude, kindness, curiosity, and resilience.
  • Leave behind: fear, self-doubt, anxiety and toxic comparisons.

The “One Word” Challenge

Instead of your list of New Year’s resolutions filling a 700-page book, try the “One Word” challenge—a no-fuss, feel-good way to set the tone for your year without getting bogged down by an endless to-do list.

Instead of trying to do all the things and be everything to everyone, pick one single word to guide you in 2025. Think of it as your compass—a word that keeps you steady, going in the right direction, focused, and inspired, no matter what curveballs life throws your way.

Not sure what your word should be? Here’s some inspiration:

  • If 2024 felt like a horror movie starring fear: Your word could be courage. Picture yourself braving new challenges, taking leaps of faith, or simply speaking up when it matters.
  • If you felt stuck, like a car spinning its wheels in the mud: Try motivation. Or momentum. This word is all about baby steps—tiny moves that build big energy over time.
  • If 2024 was more “hot mess express” than smooth sailing: Consider insight. Or integrity. This might mean creating space for work and play, saying “yes” less often, and finding your calm in the chaos.

Once you’ve found the word that clicks, make it impossible to ignore. Write it on your bathroom mirror in lipstick or dry-erase marker. Use it as your phone’s lock screen wallpaper. Doodle it in the margins of your notebook. You could even turn it into some artsy DIY project (think embroidery, print art, or even a clay charm) if you’re feeling crafty.

The beauty of this challenge? Your word doesn’t come with deadlines or a guilt trip. It’s there to remind you of what matters most when things get tough or life feels a little too loud.

So go ahead—ditch the mile-long resolution list and pick your word for 2025. One word, endless possibilities.

Strengthening Connections in 2025

As we move into 2025, gather your people around you. Use 2025 as a year to deepen your connections—with loved ones, with your community, and with yourself. Because we are all threads in a larger tapestry, and our strength often lies in the bonds we weave with others – bonds that make life richer, more vibrant, and more meaningful.

Reconnect with Loved Ones

Let’s start with the people who’ve shared your journey. Maybe you’ve been meaning to text that old friend, the one who always knew how to make you laugh but somehow drifted out of your orbit in 2024. Reach out—whether it’s a heartfelt message, a coffee date, or a quick call to say, “Hey, I’ve missed you.” Chances are, they’ve missed you too.

For those closest to you, like family or your inner circle, prioritise quality time. It doesn’t have to be extravagant—game nights, Sunday brunches, or even just a walk in the park can tighten bonds. Let them know they are important to you, and that what happens to them matters.

Cultivate Community Connections

Look around you—your neighbourhood, workplace, or local groups are full of opportunities to make new friends and weave threads into your social tapestry.

  • Volunteer your time: Whether it’s a local shelter, a food bank, or a cause you’re passionate about, volunteering can connect you with people who share your values while making a tangible impact.
  • Join a group or class: From book clubs to yoga sessions to painting workshops, stepping into a community space can spark connections with like-minded souls.
  • Be a good neighbour: Sometimes, a simple smile, a friendly hello, or lending a hand to someone nearby is all it takes to feel more connected.

Reconnect with Yourself

Amid all this connecting, don’t forget the most important relationship of all—the one you have with yourself. Often, we’re so focused on others that we lose touch with our own inner world. Let 2025 be the year you turn inward with courage, compassion and curiosity.

Grab a notebook and let your thoughts spill onto the pages. Journaling isn’t just for writers; it’s a safe space to reflect, process emotions, and discover patterns in your life. You might find clarity on things that have been weighing you down or realise just how much you’ve grown.

Use this journaling prompt to get you going: The Three Questions: Letting Go of 2024

  1. What am I proud of achieving in 2024? Think about your victories, big or small. What challenges did you overcome? What life transitions did you survive? What lessons are you taking with you into 2025?
  2. What do I need to let go of that happened in 2024? Write down the worries, mistakes, failures or disappointments – get them out of your mind and onto the page. Once done, you can burn the page.
  3. What intentions do I want to set for 2025? Picture the person you want to be in the coming year. What values, habits, or mindsets will guide you? What would make 2025 feel meaningful, fulfilling and joyful?

End the exercise by writing a simple affirmation or mantra that resonates with you, such as:
“I am free from the past, open to the future, and grounded in the present.”

Weaving the Bigger Picture

It’s easy to feel isolated in a world that often celebrates independence and self-sufficiency. But here’s a truth worth remembering: none of us exist in a vacuum. We’re all threads in a larger tapestry, interconnected in ways we don’t always see and rarely appreciate.

When life feels overwhelming, lean on your network. Call a friend, confide in a mentor, or join an online community where you feel safe, seen and understood. The bonds you nurture, no matter how tenuous, ripple outward in unimaginable far-reaching ways.

In 2025, maybe “connection” will be your word? Because when we move forward together, we’re capable of so much more.

Imagine 2025

Here’s a little exercise: imagine 2025 as a blank canvas. Or a journal filled with blank pages. Maybe it’s a year where you chase that dream you’ve been putting off. Maybe it’s a year where you let go of the pressure to always be “more productive.”

Whatever you envision, know this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to wait for the perfect moment. Every single day is a chance to start fresh.

Even if you stumble, even if things don’t go as planned, you can begin again. Growth isn’t about getting everything right the first time—it’s about showing up, making mistakes, learning from them and trying again.

A Year of Possibility

So, as we say goodbye to 2024, and prepare to welcome 2025, there’s an unspoken promise in the air—a clean slate, a fresh chapter, and the chance to rewrite the story of our lives. For many of us, 2024 carried its share of worries, failures, and setbacks. Yet, as we step into a new year, we are gifted with an opportunity to leave behind what no longer serves us – the worries, the regrets, and the things we can’t change – and embrace the boundless possibilities of what could be.

This year, let’s choose to believe in the power of fresh starts. Let’s trust that we are capable of growth, that we deserve happiness, and that we can build a future we’re proud of—one step at a time.

My word, or rather two words, for 2025 is “countless possibilities.”

Here’s to 2025: a year of endless possibilities. Let’s step into it with open hearts and open minds. We’ve got this.

This post is dedicated to my friend Mary Kay Cocharo: May the year ahead, however daunting it looks now, be a year not only of endless possibilities, but of limitless victories.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

In a world that feels increasingly unstable — politically, economically, emotionally — what will you do when the rug is pulled out from under you? That’s why I created Survive the Storm — a 7-part online course designed to be a lifeline during a life quake. This is your personal survival toolkit for uncertain times — lovingly crafted and packed with practical tools, emotional support, and soul-nourishing insights to help you stay grounded, resilient, and resourceful when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart. Enrol in How to Survive the Storm Protocol, with or without additional mentoring.

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