Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 18

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Friends as Chosen Family

The holidays can highlight the importance of family, but for some, traditional family relationships may feel strained or distant. This is where friends can become your chosen family—a group of people who truly see, accept, and support you.

Take a moment to appreciate the friends who’ve stepped into that role in your life. These relationships are a testament to the idea that family isn’t always about blood—it’s about love, loyalty, and shared experiences.

Journaling Prompt: Which of your friends feels like family to you? How can you show them your appreciation this holiday season?

Action Step: Reach out to a “chosen family” friend today and let them know how much they mean to you.

Interactive Comment: Cherish your chosen family? Comment with “Friends are family!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract (cert,) Transformational Life Coach (dip,) Life Story Coach (cert) Counselling (cert,) Med Hypnotherapy (dip) and EAGALA (cert)

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 19

Giving Without Expectations

The holidays remind us of the joy of giving, but sometimes, we hesitate to give in friendships because we’re afraid it won’t be reciprocated. However, true generosity in friendships isn’t about keeping score; it’s about showing care and love because you want to.

A small act of kindness—a thoughtful message, a shared memory, or a surprise gesture—can brighten someone’s day in ways you might not even realize. Giving without expecting anything in return strengthens bonds and brings warmth to both you and your friend.

Journaling Prompt: What’s a small, thoughtful gesture you could do for a friend this week? How might it make them feel?

Action Step: Do one kind thing for a friend today. It could be sharing a funny memory, sending them a cheerful note, or surprising them with something they love.

Interactive Comment: Ready to give from the heart? Comment with “Giving is my gift!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 20

christmas Countdown calendar

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships


Embracing Quiet Moments Together

In a season often marked by busy schedules and loud celebrations, there’s something beautifully grounding about quiet moments shared with a friend. Sometimes, the best connections don’t need words.

Think about a peaceful winter evening spent with a friend, sipping tea, watching snow fall, or simply sitting in the comfort of each other’s presence. These moments remind us that being there for someone doesn’t always require action or advice—it’s enough just to share the space.

Quiet moments create a kind of magic. They allow us to recharge while reinforcing the bond we share with another person. This holiday season, make time for the quiet connections that truly matter.

Journaling Prompt: Think of a friend who brings you peace. How can you spend quiet, meaningful time with them this holiday season?

Action Step: Invite a friend to share a simple, quiet moment with you. Whether it’s an online chat or a relaxed evening in, let the focus be on just being present together.

Interactive Comment: Appreciate the power of quiet? Comment with “Peaceful moments matter!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time.

Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract (cert,) Transformational Life Coach (dip,) Life Story Coach (cert) Counselling (cert,) Med Hypnotherapy (dip) and EAGALA (cert)

Why just survive when you can thrive? Enrol in my How to Survive a Life Quake 7-part online course. Think of it as your step-by-step survival kit for those “what-on-earth-just-happened” moments in life.

The Courageous Entrepreneur: How to Face Challenges Head-On

Explore the mindset shifts that empower entrepreneurs to confront obstacles with confidence.

Definition of Entrepreneurial Courage

If you are thinking about leaving the corporate world and starting a profitable business, you are going to need wheelbarrows full of courage. Ask me, I should know. I have been running my Camino de Santiago walking retreat business for more than a decade, and I am now adding online courses to my portfolio. You may be thinking “But what exactly IS entrepreneurial courage?”

Entrepreneurial courage is the physical, mental, and spiritual strength to face the inherent fears, uncertainties, and challenges that come with entrepreneurship, all while staying true to your core values. It means showing up with confidence and determination, even when the path ahead is unclear or intimidating.

In practical terms, entrepreneurial courage is about:

  • Taking risks: Investing time, money, and energy into ideas without guaranteed success.
  • Making bold decisions: Saying no to opportunities that don’t align with your vision, or pivoting your business in a new direction when needed.
  • Honouring your values: Building a business that reflects your principles, even when it might be easier to follow trends or compromise for short-term gains.
  • Facing fears: Overcoming impostor syndrome, addressing conflicts, or stepping into public roles like networking or speaking engagements, especially challenging for introverted business owners.
  • Persevering through setbacks: Learning from failures, adapting to challenges, and continuing to move forward when the going gets tough.

Entrepreneurial courage is not the absence of fear but the choice to move forward despite it, driven by a belief in your purpose and the value you bring to others. It’s about staying resilient in the face of uncertainty.

Everyday Acts of Courage

  1. Saying “sorry” when you’ve made a mistake.
  2. Being authentically yourself, even if it means standing out.
  3. Taking responsibility for your actions and their consequences.
  4. Setting and pursuing challenging personal or professional goals.
  5. Saying “no” to requests that don’t align with your values or priorities.
  6. Forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply.
  7. Helping others, even when you’re struggling yourself.
  8. Choosing to be kind and compassionate, even in difficult situations.
  9. Practicing gratitude, especially during challenging times.
  10. Actively listening to others, especially those with different perspectives.

Different Types of Courage

  1. Physical Courage: This is the most traditional form of courage, characterized by the willingness to face bodily harm or death. It involves acting despite fear in situations where physical danger is present, such as confronting an attacker or participating in extreme sports.
    • A firefighter entering a burning building to rescue trapped occupants.
    • A person learning to skydive despite their fear of heights.
    • A cancer patient undergoing painful treatments to fight the disease.
  2. Social Courage entails the ability to face social risks, such as embarrassment, rejection, or exclusion. This type of courage is crucial for leadership and involves being true to oneself in challenging social situations.
    • Speaking up in a meeting to present an unpopular but necessary idea.
    • Asking someone out on a date, risking rejection.
    • Standing up to a bully at school or in the workplace.
  3. Moral Courage is about standing up for one’s beliefs and values, especially when doing so may lead to personal loss or disapproval from others. It involves making ethical decisions and acting in accordance with one’s principles, even under pressure.
    • A whistleblower exposing corporate wrongdoing, risking their career.
    • Refusing to participate in unethical business practices, even if it means losing a job.
    • Intervening when witnessing discrimination or harassment in public.
  4. Emotional Courage: This type of courage allows individuals to experience a full range of emotions, including vulnerability and fear. Emotional courage is essential for personal growth and happiness, as it encourages openness to both positive and negative feelings.
    • Opening up to a therapist about past traumas.
    • Expressing vulnerability and sharing feelings with a partner.
    • Confronting a family member about a long-standing issue.
  5. Intellectual Courage involves the willingness to engage with new ideas, challenge one’s own beliefs, and accept the possibility of being wrong. It requires an open mind and a readiness to learn from mistakes.
    • Engaging in respectful debates with people who hold opposing views.
    • Admitting when you’re wrong and changing your stance based on new information.
    • Pursuing education in a field completely different from your current expertise.
  6. Spiritual Courage helps you confront profound questions about faith, purpose, and existence. It supports the pursuit of meaning in life, whether through religious beliefs or philosophical inquiry.
    • Questioning long-held beliefs and exploring new spiritual paths.
    • Sharing your faith or lack thereof in environments where it might be unpopular.
    • Making difficult life choices based on your spiritual convictions.

The Types of Courage You Need to Start a Business

Starting a business requires different types of courage, each playing a crucial role in the success of your business:

  1. Social Courage: It is essential for entrepreneurs to be themselves unapologetically to stand out in the business world. For example, it involves speaking up to present your ideas and asking for support or investment despite the risk of rejection.
  2. Moral Courage: Entrepreneurs often face ethical dilemmas and must have the strength to do what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular. This could involve refusing to participate in unethical business practices, even if it means losing potential profits or partnerships.
  3. Emotional Courage: Starting a business is an emotional rollercoaster. Entrepreneurs need to accept and process both positive and negative emotions without guilt or attachment. This includes opening up about challenges and expressing vulnerability when seeking advice or support.
  4. Intellectual Courage: The business world is constantly evolving, requiring entrepreneurs to learn, unlearn, and relearn with an open and flexible mind. This involves admitting when you’re wrong and changing your stance based on new information.
  5. Physical Courage: While not always involving bodily risk, physical courage in entrepreneurship means persevering through long hours, stress, and potential health impacts to keep the business going.
  6. Spiritual Courage: This involves living with purpose and meaning, approaching business decisions with a heart-centered approach. It’s about questioning long-held beliefs and making difficult choices based on your convictions.

Entrepreneurs must be willing to take risks without any guarantee of success. As I mentioned in the definition, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s acknowledging fear and moving ahead anyway, knowing that along the way, you’ll be able to master the necessary skills to achieve your goals.

Strategies to Develop Entrepreneurial Courage

Generating the courage to take risks in your business is a crucial aspect of entrepreneurial success.

  1. Start small: Begin by taking calculated, smaller risks to build your confidence gradually. As you experience success with these smaller risks, you’ll feel more comfortable tackling larger ones.
  2. Understand that not all risks can be predicted or controlled. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and navigate through uncertain situations, as this can lead to innovative solutions and growth opportunities.
  3. Analyse mistakes, identify areas for improvement, and adjust your strategies accordingly. View failures as valuable learning experiences that refine your risk-taking abilities.
  4. Cultivate emotional resilience: Work on bouncing back from setbacks and maintaining a positive outlook through challenges.
  5. Seek support: Prepare your employees, partners, and investors for potential difficulties. Having a strong support system can make it easier to face risks.
  6. Focus on your vision: Remember your ultimate goals and the reasons you started your business. This can provide motivation and courage when facing risks.
  7. Continuously educate yourself: Stay informed about your industry, market trends, and best practices. The more knowledge you have, the more confident you’ll feel in taking calculated risks.
  8. Adopt a growth mindset: A growth mindset is an entrepreneur’s secret weapon: it helps you to raise the courage needed to face challenges, take risks, and persist in your venture.
    • Entrepreneurs with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities for learning and development rather than insurmountable obstacles. This perspective enables you to approach difficult situations with determination.
    • A growth mindset helps you see failures as temporary setbacks and learning experiences rather than permanent defeats. This resilience allows you to bounce back from failures and continue pursuing your goals with renewed courage.
    • Those with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. This belief encourages entrepreneurs to put in the necessary effort to improve their skills and knowledge, boosting their confidence and courage to take on new challenges.
    • Entrepreneurs with a growth mindset are more likely to view feedback and criticism constructively, using it to improve their strategies and approaches. This openness to learning enhances your ability to adapt and innovate courageously.
    • Rather than feeling threatened by others’ achievements, those with a growth mindset are inspired by their competition. This perspective encourages you to courageously pursue your goals and aspirations.
    • Persistence in the face of uncertainty: A growth mindset provides entrepreneurs with the courage to persist in uncertain and challenging environments.

By cultivating a growth mindset, you can develop the psychological capital necessary to face the risks and uncertainties inherent in entrepreneurship. This mindset enables you to approach challenges with courage, learn from failures, and continuously adapt and improve, ultimately contributing to your success and satisfaction in your entrepreneurial journey.

Lesser-known Courageous Female Entrepreneurs who have made a Significant Impact

If you need some inspiration:

  1. C.J. Walker: Born to former slaves, she became one of the first American women to become a self-made millionaire. Her line of beauty and hair products for black women was revolutionary in the early 20th century.
  2. Reshma Saujani: Founder of Girls Who Code, Saujani identified a critical gap in the tech industry and took innovative action to change it. She has empowered over 10,000 girls to enter the male-dominated field of technology, challenging industry norms and inspiring a new generation of tech leaders.
  3. Ursula Burns: Starting as a summer intern at Xerox, Burns rose to become the first Black woman to lead a Fortune 500 company. Her journey from an NYC housing project to CEO showcases remarkable perseverance and courage in breaking barriers in corporate leadership.
  4. Sara Blakely: Founder of Spanx, Blakely went from being a fax machine salesperson to creating a widely successful undergarment company. Her perseverance and problem-solving skills have made her one of the most successful female entrepreneurs.
  5. Katrina Lake: Founder of Stitch Fix, Lake became the youngest female founder to lead an IPO in 2017. She identified an opportunity in the changing retail industry and built a widely loved online personal-shopping service.
  6. Rachel Mielke: Founder of Hillberg & Berk, Mielke stands out for her work in empowering other women. Her jewelry brand has made significant charitable contributions and maintains a predominantly female workforce.
  7. Mary Kay Ash revolutionised the beauty industry with her innovative business model and exceptional leadership skills. She empowered women by creating job opportunities and promoting them to leadership positions.

These entrepreneurs have not only achieved remarkable success but have also paved the way for future generations of women in business, demonstrating courage in breaking barriers and creating innovative solutions in their respective industries.

By implementing the strategies I discussed above, you can gradually build the courage needed to take risks in your business, leading to greater innovation, growth, and success.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.
 Paulo Coelho

References:
Kristi Bockorny, Carolyn M Youssef-Morgan, Entrepreneurs’ Courage, Psychological Capital, and Life Satisfaction Front Psychol. 2019 Apr 5;10:789 PMCID: PMC6461011 PMID: 31024410

Baron R., Franklin R., Hmieleski K. (2016). Why entrepreneurs often experience low, not high, levels of stress: the joint effects of selection and psychological capital. J. Manag. 42 742–768. 10.1177/0149206313495411

Fairlie R. (2007). “Entrepreneurship among disadvantaged groups: women, minorities and the less educated,” in The Life Cycle of Entrepreneurial Ventures, ed. Simon P. (New York, NY: Springer; ), 437–475. 10.1007/978-0-387-32313-8_15

Does it take courage to start a business?


Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

In a world that feels increasingly unstable — politically, economically, emotionally — what will you do when the rug is pulled out from under you? That’s why I created Survive the Storm — a 7-part online course designed to be a lifeline during a life quake. This is your personal survival toolkit for uncertain times — lovingly crafted and packed with practical tools, emotional support, and soul-nourishing insights to help you stay grounded, resilient, and resourceful when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart. Enrol in How to Survive the Storm Protocol, with or without additional mentoring.

Camino de Santiago Walking Retreats
From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground During a LIfe Quake Retreat
Tick-off-Your-Bucket-List Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat
Walking and Writing Retreat: Find Insight and Inspiration with Every Step
Book Lover’s Binge Reading Retreat and Christmas Binge Reading Retreat

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 21

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Gratitude Strengthens Bonds

Friendships are like gardens—they flourish with care and attention. And one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to nurture them is through gratitude. Think about the friends who have supported you this year. Did someone listen to you when you needed to vent? Offer advice that shifted your perspective? Simply sit with you in your silence? These acts of kindness, no matter how small, deserve acknowledgement. Gratitude doesn’t just make others feel appreciated—it also deepens your own sense of connection. It shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s present and valuable in your life. This Christmas, let your gratitude become a bridge that strengthens your friendships.

Journaling Prompt: Write down three things you appreciate about a close friend. How might you express that appreciation to them this week?

Action Step: Choose one friend and send them a message of thanks today. Be specific about what you value in them—it will make your words even more meaningful.

Interactive Comment: Gratitude opens hearts. Comment with “I’m thankful!” if you’re ready to spread appreciation.

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time.

Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Silent Superheroes: Why We All Need Introverted Friends

The Surprising Benefits of Befriending an Introvert

Introduction

As I have several introverted friends (and I am an introvert, or a covert-introvert, myself, ) I have discovered that introverts can provide invaluable support during life transitions. We excel at providing emotional support and offer a calming presence during turbulent times. Our ability to listen attentively and process information thoughtfully allows us to offer insightful advice and genuine empathy during major life changes.

Carl Jung created the term “introvert” (and its opposite extreme, extrovert), but even he noted that introverts and extroverts are a minority. Between those two extremes are the largest group of personalities: people known as ambiverts. Psychologist Adam Grant has studied ambiverts extensively and believes they comprise up to two-thirds of the population.

That means that introverts are a minority, making up roughly 16 percent of people. 

Introverts will allow you to process your emotions and thoughts at your own pace. We can provide undivided attention and create a judgment-free space for you to express your insecurities. Introverts can help you reflect on your experiences, gain new perspectives, and find meaning in the changes you’re going through as Shelley’s story shows:

The Loud One and the Listener

Shelly had always been a human confetti cannon—bursting into rooms with a crackle of lightning, leaving everyone dazzled or at least dusted with glitter. She thrived on attention, the undisputed queen of cocktail banter, viral Instagram posts, and spontaneous karaoke. Extroverted to her marrow, she was the person you’d want to sit next to at a dull wedding, assuming you didn’t mind losing your voice from laughing too hard.

But lately, Shelly’s trademark sparkle had faded. Her job, once a carnival of excitement, had devolved into the bureaucratic equivalent of watching beige paint dry. The adventurer in her craved change.

What she hadn’t anticipated, however, was how soul-crushing the job hunt would be. The odd interview she was invited to felt like a dreadful blind date without any follow-up. Even Shelly’s unparalleled ability to turn a bad day into a meme-worthy anecdote faltered. It was like trying to start a campfire in the rain.

Enter Jenna.

Jenna worked in the same office, at the desk directly adjacent to Shelly’s, a proximity that had somehow never translated into friendship. Quiet to the point of near invisibility, Jenna was organised, efficient, and notably short on small talk. She and Shelly had coexisted for three years with no more than the occasional exchange of pleasantries. To Shelly, Jenna was….polite. Possibly powered down when no one was looking.

But during one kitchen chat—a rare alignment of their coffee breaks—Shelly let slip her job-hunting woes. To her surprise, Jenna’s eyes lit up, a spark of recognition that made Shelly wonder if her neighbour had secretly been replaced by a more animated version.

“I remember how brutal that can be,” Jenna said. “Want some help with your resume?”

Shelly blinked, her brain stalling like a browser tab loading a heavy page. Jenna…helpful? It seemed improbable, but Shelly’s desperation outweighed her scepticism.

“Yes, please,” she said, because the alternative was sinking in the bottomless rejection pit.

That’s when Shelly discovered Jenna wasn’t just helpful; she was a Swiss Army knife of job-hunting expertise.

Jenna didn’t merely tweak Shelly’s resume. She transformed it, sharpening each bullet point until the document sparkled with purpose. She unearthed obscure job postings Shelly hadn’t considered, researched companies with the tenacity of an investigative journalist, and—because introverts never do anything halfway—created a colour-coded spreadsheet.

“Where do you find the time for this?” Shelly asked one day, half in awe, half in shame at her own time spent perfecting TikTok dances.

Jenna shrugged, not even looking up from the spreadsheet. “I don’t spend all my energy on happy hour.”

Touché.

The more time Shelly spent with Jenna, the more she realised how different they were. While Shelly’s default mode was “fireworks display,” Jenna’s was “intense focus.” She didn’t crack jokes to lift Shelly’s spirits; she offered a grounding presence that said, You’re not in this on your own.

In the midst of their prep for yet another interview, Shelly blurted out, “I’m starting to think introverts might secretly be superheroes.”

Jenna smirked, sipping her tea. “Introverts are good at one thing: listening while everyone else is talking.”

It hit Shelly like a gong. Jenna hadn’t been silent all these years because she had nothing to say. She’d quietly been paying attention, absorbing details most other people missed.

A month later, Shelly landed her dream job—a role that fit her like a perfectly tailored blazer. The first person she contacted wasn’t her mom or one of her Instagram followers. It was Jenna.

“You did it!” Jenna said, her voice warm and a little louder than usual.

“No,” Shelly corrected, grinning ear to ear. “We did it.”

Because sometimes, it’s not the loudest person in the room who makes the greatest impact. Sometimes, it’s the quiet ones who make things happen.

10 Surprising Benefits of Befriending Introverts

Shelly’s story highlights some of the benefits of having an introverted friend, but not all of them. Introverts also offer:

Understanding and Acceptance

Strong Connections: Introverts often value quality over quantity when it comes to relationships. They aren’t interested in shallow exchanges or fleeting encounters. Instead, they invest their time and energy in forming meaningful bonds. A friendship with an introvert is a gateway to authentic conversations that go beyond the superficial. If you’re looking for someone who truly listens and understands, an introvert will be your go-to confidant.

Non-Judgmental Attention: Introverts typically create a safe environment for their friends, allowing for open and honest conversations without the pressure of small talk. This setting encourages vulnerability and authenticity, making it easier to share thoughts and feelings.

Respect for Boundaries: Introverts understand the importance of personal space and downtime. They are likely to respect their friends’ need for alone time, fostering a relationship based on mutual understanding of each other’s social needs.

Unique Perspectives

Thoughtful Insights: Introverts often reflect before they speak, taking the time to analyse situations and behaviour. This means they can offer perspectives you may not have considered. Their thoughtful insights can enrich your understanding and help you navigate challenges more effectively. Their tendency to think before they speak can lead to interesting discussions that challenge conventional viewpoints.

Creative Problem Solving: Many introverts excel in creative thinking and problem-solving. They often approach challenges from different angles, which can be beneficial in collaborative situations or when seeking advice.

Emotional Support

Loyalty and Reliability: Introverts don’t take friendships lightly. If they let you into their inner world, it’s because they genuinely care about you. They are often dependable, fiercely loyal, and willing to go the extra mile for the people they love. They’ll be there for you during tough times, providing support and understanding when you need it most.

Counterbalance to the Chaos: Life is often hectic, and we all need a safe haven from time to time. Introverts radiate a calm, grounded energy. Spending time with an introverted friend can feel like a soothing retreat—no need to perform, impress, or compete. You can simply be yourself.

Active Listening Skills: Introverts have a knack for active listening. They take the time to understand their friends’ feelings and perspectives. They excel at tuning in, picking up on nuances, and giving you their full attention. They won’t interrupt you with unrelated anecdotes or dominate the conversation. Instead, they’ll offer thoughtful responses, helping you feel seen and heard—a rare treasure in today’s fast-paced world.

Confidentiality: Trust is the cornerstone of any strong friendship, and introverts excel in this arena. Their reserved nature makes them natural secret-keepers. You can confide in an introverted friend without worrying about your personal matters becoming public knowledge.

Befriending an introvert can lead to enriching experiences characterised by strong emotional connections, thoughtful conversations, and mutual support.

Misconceptions About Introverts and Friendship

There are several common misconceptions about introverts and their capacity for friendship that can lead to misunderstandings. Some of the most prevalent myths:

1. Introverts Don’t Like People
Contrary to popular belief, introverts do enjoy social interactions; they simply prefer deeper connections with a few close friends rather than superficial relationships with many acquaintances. Introverts value their friendships highly and often form strong bonds with those they trust.

2. Introverts Are Shy
Introverts may be quiet or reserved, but this does not mean they are afraid of social situations. They often engage in conversations when they feel there is a meaningful topic to discuss.

3. Introverts Are Rude or Aloof
Introverts may come across as standoffish due to their preference for fewer words and more meaningful exchanges. This behaviour can be misinterpreted as rudeness, but it stems from their desire for authenticity rather than small talk.

4. Introverts Prefer to Be Alone
While introverts do enjoy solitude and need time alone to recharge, they also crave genuine connections. They can feel lonely without meaningful interactions, highlighting their need for companionship despite their introverted nature.

5. Introverts Are Anti-Social
This misconception suggests that introverts avoid social situations entirely, which is not true. They may prefer smaller gatherings or quieter environments but can still enjoy socialising within their comfort zones.

6. Introverts Don’t Know How to Have Fun
Introverts have their own ways of enjoying life that may differ from extroverted norms. They often find joy in quieter activities like reading, hiking, or engaging in deep conversations rather than large parties or loud events.

7. Introverts Can Become Extroverts
There is a belief that introverts can “fix” themselves to become more extroverted, but this overlooks the inherent value of introversion. Each personality type brings unique strengths and contributions, and introversion should not be seen as a deficiency that needs correction.

8. Introverts Are Not Good Leaders
There is a stereotype that effective leaders must be extroverted, charismatic, and outgoing. However, many introverts possess strong leadership qualities such as active listening, empathy, and the ability to think critically. They often lead by example and can inspire others through their thoughtful approach and calm demeanour.

9. Introverts Don’t Enjoy Group Activities
While introverts may prefer smaller gatherings, they can still enjoy group activities—especially if they are structured in a way that allows for meaningful interaction. For instance, they may thrive in workshops, book clubs, or team projects where they can contribute without the pressure of constant socialising.

10. Introverts Are Always Quiet
While introverts may be quieter in large groups, they can be quite expressive and animated in one-on-one conversations or small settings where they feel comfortable. Their passion and enthusiasm can shine through when discussing topics they care deeply about, debunking the notion that they are always reserved.

Understanding that introverts have different social needs and preferences can lead to more fulfilling friendships based on mutual respect and understanding.

Introverts need Support during Life Transitions too

Life transitions can be particularly challenging for introverts, who often process change internally and may feel overwhelmed by external pressures to “figure it all out.” This is why so many introverts are drawn to my Camino de Santiago walking retreats, which offer a sanctuary of quiet reflection and thoughtful guidance.

Unlike large, bustling group events, these retreats provide a peaceful, intimate setting with small groups, where participants can explore their emotions at their own pace. The combination of gentle walks along the Camino, opportunities for meaningful conversations, and plenty of personal downtime makes these retreats uniquely appealing to introverts. They appreciate the balance of solitude and connection, the structured yet flexible support, and the chance to recharge in a space designed with their needs in mind.

Step away from the noise and discover the clarity you’ve been searching for—reserve your place on the next Camino de Santiago walking retreat today!

Email me at welcome2gascony@gmail.com to inquire about availability

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 22

Nurturing New Friendships

The thought of building new friendships during a life transition can be intimidating. But this season of warmth and connection offers the perfect backdrop to meet new people who might bring unexpected joy into your life.

Christmas events, community gatherings, or even online spaces are filled with opportunities to connect. Remember, every friendship starts with a simple introduction. The barista you see every morning, the neighbor you exchange nods with, or someone in your extended social circle could become a meaningful connection if you’re open to the possibility.

New friendships are a reminder that life always offers fresh beginnings, even during times of change. You don’t have to navigate transitions alone—there are people out there ready to walk alongside you.

Journaling Prompt: What qualities do you value most in a friend? How can you show those qualities to others as you meet new people?

Action Step: Introduce yourself to someone new today. It could be as simple as a smile or a short conversation. Small beginnings can lead to big friendships.

Interactive Comment: Taking the first step is brave! Comment with “Here’s to new friends!” if you’re ready to try.

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

  • How well do you know your Friends? Quiz
  • What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz
  • 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and
  • 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

If you would like to get access to these quizzes, quotes, insights and inspiration, please fill in the form below:

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 23

Reaching Out Without Fear

Life transitions can feel isolating, especially during the holiday season when everything seems to revolve around joy and togetherness. But even in the darkest times, we don’t have to face challenges alone. True friends want to support us; they just need to know we’re open to receiving their help.

Reaching out can feel daunting. What if they don’t understand? What if they think you’re being too much? These fears are normal, but they’re often unfounded. Vulnerability is a bridge that connects hearts. By opening up, you not only lighten your own burden but also give your friend permission to do the same.

Take a moment to reflect on who you trust. Then, take the first step, however small it feels. A simple “I’m having a tough time” can lead to deeper conversations and a stronger bond.

Journaling Prompt: What’s one thing you’ve been holding back from sharing with a friend? Why? How might they respond if you trusted them with it?

Action Step: Choose a friend and share something about your life transition. It doesn’t have to be heavy; even a small glimpse into your feelings can invite connection.

Interactive Comment: Ready to let someone in? Comment with “I’m reaching out!”

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 24

A Season for Connection

The holiday season is here, and for many, it can feel bittersweet—especially if you’re navigating a major life transition. Christmas often brings reminders of what has changed, but it also offers an opportunity to embrace something new: meaningful connections with the people who matter most.

Friendship is a gift we often overlook. This season, let’s focus on fostering connection and finding comfort in the bonds we share with others. Take a moment today to reflect on the friends in your life—past, present, or even those you wish to reconnect with.

Journaling Prompt: Who has been a source of support in your life this year? How can you show them gratitude during the holidays?

Action Step: Reach out to one friend today. It could be a simple message, a phone call, or even a handwritten card. Let them know you’re thinking of them.

Interactive Comment: If you’re ready to embrace the gift of friendship this season, comment in your journal “I commit!”

Every day, we’ll explore a new way to deepen friendships, lean on others, and bring warmth to this holiday season. You are not alone on this journey. Let’s make this Christmas Countdown one to remember.

Making friends and maintaining friendships can be complicated. Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to all of them. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

  • How well do you know your Friends? Quiz
  • What is your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz
  • 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and
  • 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

If you would like to get access to these quizzes, quotes, insights and inspiration, please fill in the form below:



Christmas 2024 Countdown Calendar Journal – coming soon!

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract (cert,) Transformational Life Coach (dip,) Life Story Coach (cert) Counselling (cert,) Med Hypnotherapy (dip) and EAGALA (cert)

Your Friendship Manifesto: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

🎄Announcing the imminent start of this year’s Christmas Calendar Countdown!🎄

Dear friends and family,

As you know, I do not send out Christmas/New Year’s cards – saving the trees and what have you – instead, I create an advent calendar each year. Last year, the theme was gratitude, this year it’s making friends and maintaining friendships: 24 lovingly crafted interactive posts offering guidance on forging and nurturing connections, as even one solid friendship can make all the difference during a life transition- and it starts tomorrow, on December the 1st!

Join me each day on Instagram, BlueSky, Threads, Facebook and LinkedIn as we start the countdown to Christmas, with posts filled with insights and inspiration to help you strengthen existing bonds and create new ones.

Sending you all a basket of emotional support Christmas cookies,
Margaretha

Introduction

Having just finished this year’s Christmas Calendar Countdown, I thought I would introduce it by writing a post about the theme of this year’s calendar: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships. Earlier this week, for the first time ever, I came across the Friendship Manifesto concept, and it fits so perfectly with the Calendar’s theme, that I decided to make it the subject of this post.

Do you feel isolated and disconnected in today’s digital world?

In recent years, the world has been grappling with an increasingly critical social health crisis: the loneliness epidemic. The COVID-19 pandemic dramatically accelerated this trend, with social isolation and digital communication replacing meaningful human connections. This loneliness epidemic underscores the critical importance of intentional, meaningful friendship—making the creation of a personal friendship manifesto not just a philosophical exercise, but a potential lifeline in an increasingly disconnected world. (Bu F, Steptoe A, Fancourt D. Who is lonely in lockdown? Cross-cohort analyses of predictors of loneliness before and during the COVID-19 pandemic. Public Health. 2020;186:31–4.)

Definition of a Friendship Manifesto

A friendship manifesto is a written declaration of values, principles, and intentions that guide how you approach friendships. It’s essentially a personal or collective commitment to creating healthy, meaningful, and supportive relationships with friends.

The manifesto can serve as a blueprint for how you wish to show up as a friend and how you expect to be treated in return. It can also act as a reminder of the importance of friendship and the role it plays in your life.

“Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.” Khalil Gibran

How to Create Your Own Friendship Manifesto

Understanding Your Friendship Style

Creating a friendship manifesto begins with figuring out who you are and what you want from your friendships. Start by exploring your past and present relationships. Take time to sit quietly, perhaps with a journal in hand, and think about your friendships. Think specifically about the friendships that have been most meaningful, that have supported you through life transitions. What did you learn from these friendships?

Defining Your Friendship Philosophy

Next, look at your fundamental beliefs about friendship and decide what friendship means to you. What are the non-negotiable qualities you seek in a friend? What kind of friend do you aspire to be? This is not about creating a rigid list, but about understanding the core values that guide your approach to relationships. What are your expectations, your boundaries, and the lessons you’ve learned from challenging friendships?

Drafting Your Manifesto

At its core, your friendship manifesto is a personal promise to yourself and the people you care about. Don’t overthink it—just focus on what feels real and right. Write statements that reflect how you want to be treated and how you’ll show up for others. Keep them simple, honest, and actionable. The goal is to capture what matters to you. See below for a list of questions that will make this easier.

A Living, Breathing Document

Your friendship manifesto is more than just a set of principles—it’s a living document that represents your approach to friendships. Write it with care and intention, using first-person language that speaks directly from your heart. Whether you jot it down in a journal, type it up with some cool fonts, or turn it into an artsy collage, it’s all about making it yours. The key is to make it something that resonates with you and feels like a true reflection of who you are.

As a living document, it evolved with you. It isn’t a once-and-done thing—it’s more like a guide that changes as you do. Check in with it every so often—maybe once or twice a year—and see if it still reflects who you are and what you want in your friendships. Add to it, tweak it, or rewrite parts of it as you learn and grow.

Your Friendship Manifesto is a compass for navigating relationships and a testament to your commitment to genuine friendship. The whole point of creating it? To help you build deeper, more authentic connections.

8 Questions to Help You Craft Your Friendship Manifesto

  1. What does true friendship mean to you? Beyond surface-level interactions, what are the qualities you believe transform a casual relationship into a meaningful connection?
  2. What are your non-negotiable boundaries in friendship? Examine the lines between healthy connection and personal autonomy. What does respect look like in your ideal friendships? Think about the ways you want to be treated and the ways you commit to treating others.
  3. How do you approach honest communication? Explore your comfort level with emotional openness, your ability to listen without judgment, and your willingness to share your true self. What does meaningful communication look like in your closest relationships?
  4. What does unconditional support mean to you? Reflect on how you show up for friends during their most difficult moments. How do you balance offering support with respecting their autonomy? Consider the difference between fixing and truly supporting.
  5. How do you honour and celebrate the unique qualities of your friends? Think about the ways you can support your friends’ individual paths, dreams, and challenges without trying to change or control them. What does true acceptance look like in your friendships?
  6. What builds and breaks trust in your relationships? Explore the fundamental elements of reliability, confidentiality, and emotional safety. How do you create and maintain trust? What are your commitments to being a trustworthy friend?
  7. How do you approach conflict and repair in friendships? Reflect on your capacity for forgiveness, your ability to have difficult conversations, and your commitment to healing relationships. What does grace look like when misunderstandings or conflicts arise?
  8. What kind of friend do you truly aspire to be? This is the most profound question of your manifesto. Look deep within yourself and list the fundamental commitments you want to make to yourself and your friends. What are the core principles that will guide your approach to friendship?

Key Element Examples of a Friendship Manifesto

For inspiration, look at these examples:

  1. Radical Authenticity
    I commit to being genuinely myself and creating a space where my friends can be their true, unfiltered selves. To me, authenticity means showing up honestly, without masks or pretence, and accepting each other’s vulnerabilities with compassion and understanding.
  2. Mutual Respect and Boundaries
    Every friendship is a sacred agreement of mutual respect. I will honour my friends’ personal boundaries, recognising that healthy relationships require both connection and individual autonomy. I will respect my friends by listening without judgment and understanding that “no” is a complete sentence.
  3. Unconditional Support
    My friendship is not transactional but transformational. I pledge to support my friends through their victories and challenges, celebrating their successes as if they were my own and standing beside them during difficult times without trying to fix everything, but simply being present.
  4. Open and Honest Communication
    Communication is the lifeline of my friendships. I promise to communicate with kindness, clarity, and courage—addressing conflicts directly, listening actively, and creating a safe space for difficult conversations without defensiveness or blame.
  5. Growth and Evolution
    I accept that friendships are living entities that grow and change. I embrace the understanding that people transform, and I commit to growing alongside my friends, allowing our relationships to evolve naturally without clinging to past versions of each other.
  6. Emotional Accountability
    I take responsibility for my emotions and reactions, understanding that my friends are not responsible for managing my feelings. I will practice self-awareness, seek understanding, and approach conflicts with emotional intelligence and empathy.
  7. Celebration of Individuality
    Each of my friends is a unique universe, and I celebrate their differences. I reject comparison and competition, instead cherishing the distinct qualities, paths, and dreams that make my friends extraordinary.
  8. Reciprocal Investment
    I am convinced that friendship is a mutual investment of time, energy, and care. I commit to being consistently present, showing up not just in convenient moments but during mundane and challenging times. Quality matters more to me than quantity.
  9. Trust as a Foundation
    I make trust is the cornerstone of my friendships. I promise to be reliable, maintain confidentiality, and build trust through consistent actions that align with my words. I will give trust and earn trust through integrity.
  10. Forgiveness
    Accepting that we are all imperfect humans, I commit to practising forgiveness. Mistakes will happen, and misunderstandings will occur, but to me, true friendship means having the capacity to repair, reconnect, and move forward with compassion.

Putting Your Friendship Manifesto into Practice During the Holiday Season

Intentional Connection
The Christmas season provides a unique opportunity to embody the principles of your friendship manifesto. This is a time to move beyond surface-level interactions and put into practice the commitments you’ve outlined in your personal friendship manifesto. Rather than getting caught up in the commercial aspects of the holidays, focus on creating meaningful connections that reflect your core friendship values.

Active Listening and Presence
Your manifesto likely emphasises the importance of being present and truly listening. During the holiday season, this means setting aside distractions when spending time with friends. Put away your phone during gatherings, create space for genuine conversations, and practice active listening. The holidays can be emotionally charged, so approach your friends with extra compassion. Make a conscious effort to be there for them, asking thoughtful questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences, challenges, and joys.

Supportive Gestures
Transform your manifesto’s principles into concrete actions. If you’ve committed to unconditional support, look for specific ways to show up for your friends during this potentially stressful time. you could offer to help with holiday preparations, check in on friends who might find the season difficult, provide emotional support to those experiencing loneliness or grief, and create inclusive gatherings for friends who might not have family nearby.

Boundary Setting and Self-Care
The holidays can be overwhelming, especially if you are an introvert, so honour the boundaries you’ve outlined in your friendship manifesto. This means being honest about your available time and energy, communicating clearly about your holiday plans and limitations, protecting your own well-being while still being supportive and giving yourself and your friends permission to say no to events or interactions that feel draining.

Authentic Gift-Giving
If gift-giving is part of your holiday tradition, approach it as an extension of your friendship principles. Instead of focusing on material value, choose gifts that demonstrate your understanding of your friend’s interests and needs, thoughtfulness more than expense and consideration of your friend’s values and preferences.

Conflict Resolution
The close quarters and emotional intensity of the holiday season can sometimes bring up tensions. Refer to your manifesto’s principles about communication and forgiveness. If conflicts arise:

  • Practice active listening
  • Communicate openly and honestly
  • Stick to your boundaries
  • Go for insight and understanding instead being right
  • Be ready to forgive and be willing to repair relationships

“A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often – just to save it from drying out completely.” Pam Brown

Final Thoughts

Putting your friendship manifesto into practice is not about doggedly following rules but about consistent, intentional effort. The holiday season offers a beautiful opportunity to transform your friendship manifesto from words into lived experiences.

It’s not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters.


References

Louise C Hawkley, John T Cacioppo Loneliness Matters: A Theoretical and Empirical Review of Consequences and Mechanisms Ann Behav Med. 2010 Oct.

Taylor, H.O., Cudjoe, T.K., Bu, F. et al. The state of loneliness and social isolation research: current knowledge and future directions. BMC Public Health 23, 1049 (2023)

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