An Introvert’s Guide to Savouring the Christmas Season

Featuring 12 tailormade excuses to use when you need to dodge yet another Christmas party

Even though it is only the middle of November, I am already planning for the Christmas season. My Book Lover’s Christmas Binge Reading Retreat is fully booked. It starts on the 22nd of December, and I still have loads to do before my guests arrive! Some shops are already selling Christmas decorations and my friend Jenny and I have started practising for this year’s Christmas Carol concert.

Christmas can be a difficult time for introverts. Most of us end up with the inevitable introvert hangover by the 26th, if not before. I usually start pacing myself in the beginning of December – our season here stretches from to 6th of December with St Nicolas’ Day, to the 6th of January, which is Epiphany, or the day of the Three Kings. So from the first of December, I wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual to enjoy my first cup of coffee in complete solitude. I simply sit in quiet contemplation. This private time helps ground me before the day’s activities, and later festivities, begin.

I put up the tree and decorate the house before the 5th, and I try to decorate as mindfully as possible. I set aside an afternoon or evening just for this. I listen to my favourite Christmas Carols, in English and in French, mindfully sip a hot chocolate, light a Christmas-scented candle and slowly unpack each precious ornament, most of them loaded with memories of past Christmases.

I put the Advent calendars for friends and family together and set out the Advent candles towards the end of November, as the 1st Advent Sunday is usually the last one in November. I update the online Advent calendar I share each year with friends and family far away, this year I don’t think I’ll bother with Facebook, I’ll post each day on Instagram, and maybe on Pinterest. I might even dare greatly and post daily on LinkedIn, in my Savoir Vivre Vignettes LinkedIn newsletter.

This year, I’m going to be even more selective about holiday gatherings. I don’t want to be exhausted before my retreat even starts. I am going to choose only events that truly matter to me and politely decline the rest. I’ll schedule some decompression time before and after. in the company of the horses, no matter how cold it is, I’ll just wrap up warm. I’m also going to set a time limit for myself at parties, I usually start deflating after two-and-a-half, three hours, so whenever possible, I’ll stick to this limit.

It is also my birthday month, just before Christmas, just before the retreat starts, so I really need to pace myself. I have long since discovered that the success of each retreat is first and foremost dependent on how well rested I am at the beginning of the retreat.

So I’m going to make time to read, my favourite introvert-batteries-recharge activity, before the retreats starts. Although it’s a reading retreat, and every introvert’s dream Christmas getaway, I don’t get much time myself to read, so I’ll have to indulge in my favourite pastime before and after.

Wintering, for me, starts on the 26th of December. I go for short, solo walks, and I note things like the first frost, winter birds at your feeder, or the way snow transforms familiar landscapes in my journal. My retreat guests sometimes walk a short section of the Camino de Santiago, should the weather permit it. This practice helps ground them in the natural rhythm of the season.

To make the Christmas season less overwhelming and exhausting this year, you might want to:

1. Plan and be Prepared. Set a clear vision for your holiday season, perhaps choosing a guiding word like “serene” or “laid-back” to help prioritise activities that resonate with you. Journaling nearly always helps me recharge my batteries, so I have included 5 journaling prompts at the end of this post to help you prepare for the Christmas season.

2. Shop Online. Avoid crowded malls by doing all your holiday shopping online. This allows for thoughtful gift selection without the stress of busy stores.

3. Limit Social Engagements. Schedule only a few social events on your calendar, allowing plenty of downtime in between to recharge. Aim for one or two activities per day at most.

4. Create Buffer Days. Add buffer days to your schedule before and after major events to give yourself time to rest and prepare mentally.

5. Host Intimate Gatherings. Consider hosting small gatherings in your own space where you feel most comfortable. This can be less stressful than attending larger events.

6. Declare Socialising-Free Days. Reserve certain days solely for family time or personal relaxation, ensuring you have time to unwind without social obligations.

7. Practice Self-Care. Prioritise sleep and self-care routines throughout the season to maintain your energy levels. Avoid late nights and excessive sugar or caffeine.

8. Take Breaks During Events. During gatherings, step away when needed to recharge. A few deep breaths in a quiet space can help reset your energy levels.

9. Engage Mindfully. At social events, focus on meaningful interactions rather than trying to engage with everyone. You might take on a supportive role, such as helping in the kitchen, which can ease social pressure

10. Unplug from Technology. Limit screen time during the holidays to reduce overstimulation. Consider setting aside specific times to check your phone or social media.

11. Embrace Imperfection. Let go of the need for everything to be perfect during the holidays. Focus on enjoying the moments rather than stressing over details.

12. Reflect on What You Love. Take time to reflect on what you truly enjoy about the holiday season, whether it’s traditions, food, or family connections. This can help shift your focus from stressors to joyful aspects of the season.

The key to enjoying the season as an introvert is creating enough space between social engagements to fully process and appreciate each experience. Don’t feel guilty about taking the time you need to recharge your batteries – it allows you to be more present when you do engage with others.

To help you create enough space between social engagements to recharge your batteries, you’ll find 12 tailormade excuses to use when you need to dodge yet another Christmas party below:

1. “My cat is having an experiential crisis. Mr. Whiskers has developed a fear of one of the Christmas tree ornaments and needs emotional support. I can’t leave him alone with all those shiny ornaments; he might have a nervous breakdown!”
2. “I forgot I signed up for an online course on making a gingerbread house at the end of last year. Turns out, it’s a three-hour live session, no replay, and it was quite expensive, so I can’t miss it! Who knew making gingerbread houses could be this challenging?”
3. “I’m in training for the ‘Couch Potato Olympics’. I’ve committed to perfecting my couch-sitting technique and need to stay home to practice my snack-scoffing skills.”
4. “I’m auditioning for a role in ‘Home Alone 5’. The director said he needs someone who can convincingly fend off intruders while simultaneously avoiding social interactions. He thinks I could be perfect for the part!”
5. “My plants are throwing a holiday party and I’m their designated DJ. They’ve been feeling neglected, and I promised them I’d host a festive gathering just for them—complete with a plant-friendly sound-and-light show.”
6. “I’ve developed an allergic reaction to Christmas Carols from over-exposure. Every time I hear ‘Jingle Bells,’ my skin breaks out in hives! I’ve tried antihistamines without any noticeable effect!”
7. “I’m busy rewatching every season of my favourite show. It’s a full-time job at this point, and I simply can’t take a break from my binge-watching responsibilities.”
8. “My refrigerator is on the fritz. I need to stay home to monitor it—if it starts making weird noises again, it might just explode with leftover fermented eggnog!”
9. “I signed up for an intense meditation retreat and I’m really looking forward to it. It’s called ‘Silence is Golden,’ and they strictly enforce no talking—can’t wait!”
10. “I’m conducting an experiment on how long I can avoid social interaction in any shape or form. It’s purely for scientific advancement! The results could change the way introverts approach the Christmas holidays forever.”
11. “I’ve been tasked with protecting the remote control from a potential hostile takeover by aliens. Someone has to ensure that ‘The Great British Bake Off’ isn’t interrupted by holiday movie marathons! It’s a huge responsibility.”
12. “I’m hosting an exclusive dinner party for my imaginary friends. They’re very picky eaters, so I have to make sure everything is perfect.”

5 Journaling prompts designed to you navigate the demands of the Christmas season with greater self-awareness:

1. Identify Your Boundaries

• Prompt: “List all the holiday activities, events, or obligations that typically drain your energy. Then, reflect on why these feel draining. What boundaries could you set to protect your energy? How can you communicate these boundaries gently but clearly?”
• Why It Helps: This prompt encourages introverts to get clear on their holiday “musts” versus “maybes” and “definitely nots,” making the season much less overwhelming.

2. Define Your Ideal Christmas Experience

• Prompt: “Imagine you could create the perfect Christmas holiday without any obligations or expectations from others. Describe what that holiday would look like in detail—what would you do, whom (if anyone) would you spend time with, and how would you spend your day? How can you incorporate some of these elements into your actual holiday this year?”
• Why It Helps: By envisioning their ideal holiday, introverts can identify small, achievable changes that would make the season feel more aligned with their true preferences and less like an obligation.

3. Create an Energy Management Plan

• Prompt: “Think about the times in past Christmas seasons when you felt drained or overwhelmed. What were the specific triggers, and how did you cope? This year, list three ways you can proactively protect your energy—whether that’s scheduling downtime, saying no to certain gatherings, or bringing a grounding activity (like a favourite book or journal) to a busy event.”
• Why It Helps: This helps introverts be intentional about managing their energy, planning ahead to avoid burnout, and equipping themselves with tools to recharge if they start to feel overwhelmed.

4. Reflect on Meaningful Connections

• Prompt: “Make a list of the people you genuinely look forward to seeing or connecting with during the holidays. Reflect on what you value most about these connections. Are there ways you could prioritise quality time with these people rather than spreading yourself too thin? Write about one or two ways you could deepen those connections this season.”
• Why It Helps: This exercise encourages introverts to prioritise relationships that nourish them, focusing on meaningful interactions rather than large gatherings that may feel draining.

5. Plan for Post-Holiday Recovery

• Prompt: “The holiday season is often followed by an energy slump. What are some activities or routines that typically help you recharge after social events? Imagine you’re crafting your own mini retreat for post-holiday restoration. What would you include, and how could you set aside time to honour this recovery?”
• Why It Helps: By planning their post-holiday recovery, introverts give themselves permission to look forward to a period of restoration, reducing any stress or overwhelm around the holiday demands.

Final Thoughts

For introverts, the Christmas holidays often bring an overwhelming blend of social obligations, endless festivities, and the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations. What if you could escape the holiday chaos altogether though? Attending a Book Lovers Christmas Binge Reading Retreat here in the southwest of France offers the perfect antidote for introverts seeking to avoid the holiday stress and find true enjoyment in the season. Imagine cosying up with a stack of your favourite books, surrounded by fellow book lovers who also crave the quiet and comfort of a drama-free Christmas season. This retreat provides a welcoming space to unwind, recharge your batteries, and immerse yourself in stories that bring you joy—no small talk or holiday obligations required! By choosing this retreat, you’ll give yourself the gift of a peaceful, meaningful holiday tailored to your unique needs, ensuring you start the new year refreshed and fulfilled.

Now taking bookings for 2025