Heart-soothing Quotes about Grief

and why they should be part of the Grief Resolution Process

“Grieving is a necessary passage and a difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow – it is not a permanent rest stop.” Dodinsky

Three years ago I lost my horse Belle, in February, in the middle of a freezing cold winter. I have never been quite the same since. As a life transition, losing someone we love must be one of the hardest to get through.

Making this list of quotes about grief resolution, to go with my A Compassionate Guide to Coping with the Loss of Your Horse course, I was surprised at how meaningful I found them, even now, three years later.

Why are quotes about grief so moving? I think it may be because they provide:

• Validation of our Emotions: Grieving can feel isolating, especially when emotions are overwhelming. Quotes can validate these feelings by expressing the pain, confusion, and sadness in words that resonate. It reassures us that ourr emotions are normal and shared by others.
• Words for the Inexpressible: Grief is often difficult to articulate, and quotes offer a way to express emotions that may feel too complex or raw to voice out loud. They give language to the grief experience, helping us process what they’re going through.
• Connection: Reading words from others who have experienced loss, especially from authors, philosophers, or spiritual leaders, creates a sense of connection. It reminds us we’re not alone, and that many have walked this perilous path before us.
• Comfort and maybe even Hope: Grief quotes can provide a sense of comfort by offering wisdom, spiritual insight, or a reminder that healing is possible, even in the face of profound loss. They often emphasise the enduring nature of love, offering hope for the future.
• Reflection and Perspective: Sometimes, quotes encourage deeper reflection on life, death, meaning and life purpose, helping us make sense of their loss and begin to integrate it into our lives in a way that honours our loved ones, our loved horses.

The quotes about grief that I have found particularly moving:

• “We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.” Dean Koontz 
• “Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” Virginia Satir
• “The melody that the loved one played upon the piano of your life will never be played quite that way again, but we must not close the keyboard and allow the instrument to gather dust. We must seek out other artists of the spirit, new friends who gradually will help us to find the road to life again, who will walk the road with us.” Joshua Loth Liebman
• Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” Sarah Dessen
• “Life is full of grief, to exactly the degree we allow ourselves to love other people.”Orson Scott Card
• “So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” E.A. Bucchianeri
• “The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you’re faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking.” James Patterson
• “We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world – the company of those who have known suffering.” Helen Keller
• “Grief is like the ocean. It comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicki Harrison
• “Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure to grief is to grieve.” Earl Grollman
• “There are three needs of the griever: To find the words for the loss, to say the words aloud and to know that the words have been heard.” Victoria Alexander
• “I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.” Rita Mae Brown
• “Those whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before. They are now wherever we are.” St John Chrysostrom
• “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” Washington Irving
• “Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death’s perfect punctuation mark is a smile.” Julie Burchill
• “There should be a statute of limitation on grief. A rule book that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after 42 days you will no longer turn with your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name. That there will be no fine imposed if you feel the need to clean out her desk; take down her artwork from the refrigerator; turn over a school portrait as you pass – if only because it cuts you fresh again to see it. That it’s okay to measure the time she has been gone, the way we once measured her birthdays.” Jodi Picoult
• “Tears have a wisdom all their own. They come when a person has relaxed enough to let go and to work through his sorrow. They are the natural bleeding of an emotional wound, carrying the poison out of the system. Here lies the road to recovery.” F. Alexander Magoun
• “When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time – the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes – when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever – there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.” John Irving
• “I’m gone now, but I’m still very near, death can never separate us. Each time you feel a gentle breeze, it’s my hand caressing your face. Each time the wind blows, it carries my voice whispering your name. When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly, think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place. When you feel a few raindrops fall on your face, it’s me placing soft kisses. At night look up in the sky and see the stars shining so brightly. I’m one of those stars and I’m winking at you and smiling with delight. For never forget, you’re the apple of my eye.” Mary M Green
• “There are three needs of the griever: To find the words for the loss, to say the words aloud and to know that the words have been heard.” Victoria Alexander
• “You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly – that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” Anne Lamott

Journaling has helped me enormously, to process my emotions. Using these grief quotes as prompts can encourage deeper reflection on the transformative nature of grief, offering us a way to cope with our loss.

I have created a couple of journaling prompts to show you how this can work:

1. “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.” — John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

• Prompt: How has your grief revealed new aspects of yourself? Have you noticed changes in how you view life…and death? Reflect on the strengths and weaknesses that have emerged during this experience with loss.

2. “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.” — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

• Prompt: Write about how you’ve learned (or are learning) to live with your grief. What changes have you noticed in your daily life as you live with this new reality? How does the idea of “living with grief” resonate with you, how do you put it into practice?

3. “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” — Helen Keller

• Prompt: Reflect on how the person you’ve lost has become a part of you. In what ways do you carry their influence in your daily life, values, or actions? How does this quote help you find a sense of peace or continuity?

4. “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.” — Washington Irving

• Prompt: How have your tears and emotions been a source of strength during your grief? Write about moments when your grief has made you feel strong or powerful, despite the sadness. How can your grief increase your emotional resilience?

5. “Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated.” — Alphonse de Lamartine

• Prompt: Reflect on how the absence of your loved one has affected your view of the world. In what ways has your life changed because of their absence? Explore how this feeling of emptiness impacts your day-to-day life and how you might begin to fill that void with new experiences.

If you’re struggling to come to terms with the loss of a horse, my online course, A Compassionate Guide to Coping with the Loss of Your Horse is designed to guide you through the unique grief that comes with losing a once-in-a-life-time (aren’t they all?) horse, while honouring the deep bond you shared. This course will introduce you to practical tools to help you work through your grief and offer compassionate support from someone who knows exactly how you feel, helping you take the steps you need to take toward finding closure. Click here to find out more.

#LifeQuake Series