Author: Margaretha Montagu

I did not copy-and-paste this list from another webpage, nor did I ask ChatGPT to provide me with these Next Chapter quotes. I waded through page after page of potentially suitable quotes for this collection and chose the ones that I felt had meaning. Some I agree with, others I do not, but all of them will hopefully make you think if you are on the point of starting a new chapter in your life.

If you have the courage to begin again.

I have started a new chapter in my life recently. This is not the first time I start over. I wouldn’t say I’m getting any better at it, but I have always been reassured during these unstable times, that I am not alone, that I am not the first, that others have walked this road before me, and I have found inspiration reading what others have to say about starting their own new chapters:

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!” — C. JoyBell C.

“Every day is a chance to begin again. Don’t focus on the failures of yesterday, start today with positive thoughts and expectations.” — Catherine Pulsifer

Each new chapter of your life is helping you become more of who you really are. When you let go of who you think you are supposed to be, you can become who you want to be. — Shannon Kaiser

“We grow up with such an idealistic view on how our life should be; love, friendships, a career or even the place we will live ~ only to age and realise none of it is what you expected & reality is a little disheartening, when you’ve reached that realisation; you have learnt the gift of all, any new beginning can start now and if you want anything bad enough you’ll find the courage to pursue it with all you have. The past doesn’t have to be the future, stop making it so.” ― Nikki Rowe

“There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” — C.S. Lewis

“When one starts a new chapter, the page shouldn’t be messy with commentary but white and crisp, ready for one’s best self.” ― Nadine Bjursten

“It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“We get to grab the pen and write the next line. We aren’t starting a whole new book; we are just writing a new chapter. The last chapter of our life ended with the loss—the divorce, the death of a dream, the career collapse, whatever it may be. Even though it ended, this is where the story gets good. We get to decide what happens next. If we are still alive, we get to dream! You haven’t lost it all. You are still here! This isn’t the end of your story; it’s the start of a new chapter, and you, my friend, are holding the pen. What do you want your story to be?” ― Kayla Stoecklein

“Perhaps that is where our choice lies — in determining how we will meet the inevitable end of things, and how we will greet each new beginning.” ― Elana K. Arnold

“We are meant to keep focused for a new life, for new beginnings, for new experiences, and to use our abilities to move beyond all those things that may serve as excuses to confine us to the now.” – Byron Pulsifer

“It isn’t the amount of our years that will determine the life we live now, but the amount of our love. Our future isn’t determined by anything that happened 20 years ago, 30 years ago, or even 10 minutes ago. It’s determined by who we are and what we think, right here, right now, in this moment. Almost every hour of every day, we’ll find ourselves in a situation where we can be now who we weren’t before. And from this newness in our being springs fresh opportunities we could never have imagined. God specializes in new beginnings.” ― Marianne Williamson

“You’ll never get a new ending if you keep starting with the same tired beginning.” ― Lisa Daily

It is not the failure that holds us back but the reluctance to begin over again that causes us to stagnate.”― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

“I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.” — Juansen Dizon

“Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.”— Douglas Pagels

“This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind… let it be something good.” ― Mac Anderson

“It’s good to start over. It will be scary but you will see what you’re really made of; it’s the best opportunity to achieve what you never thought you could.” ― Jennifer Coletta

“You can start anew at any given moment. Life is just the passage of time and it’s up to you to pass it as you please.” ― Charlotte Eriksson

“Starting over is an acceptance of a past we can’t change, an unrelenting conviction that the future can be different, and the stubborn wisdom to use the past to make the future what the past was not.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

Are You Ready to Start Writing the Next Chapter of Your Life?

If so, then you are not alone, you are not the first, others have walked this road before you. I have, and I have helped many of my guests find new direction during my Next Chapter Camino de Santiago walking retreats. You are very welcome to join us here on my little farm in the southwest of France, if you need support writing your next chapter.

Starting a new chapter in life, whether personal or professional, is a challenging experience, but it can bring fresh opportunities, help you grow in unexpected ways, and even reignite your sense of purpose. But how do you know if you’re truly ready to take that leap into the unknown?

In my life, new chapters are mostly thrust upon me, and I have to cope as best I can with the fallout. Twice in my life, I chose to close a chapter and start a new one. In both cases, it took me years to stop procrastinating and jump off the cliff, fully intending to grow wings on the way down. Which, of course, I didn’t, so maybe it’s just as well that I usually have no choice in the matter.

I therefore have little personal experience to fall back on as I write this article, but I do remember a couple of things that finally pushed me towards – and eventually over – the edge:

It might be time to turn the page and start writing a new chapter in your life if…

You are feeling unfulfilled. Before starting a new chapter, my current situation felt same-old-same-old, uninspiring, and no longer aligned with my interests or values, so I knew it was a sign that I have outgrown it.

You feel restless: Restlessness might present as boredom, listlessness, frustration, or a yearning for a more interesting life.

You keep thinking there has to be something more. If you constantly find yourself thinking “What if?”— whether it’s starting a new business, changing career, relocating, or ending a relationship—thoughts along these lines can signify the need for a change.

You feel stuck. One of the most common indicators that it’s time for a change is a persistent sense of stagnation, paralysis, disconnection to or dissatisfaction with your current situation. 

You suspect you have outgrown your current environment/relationship. As we grow and evolve, we sometimes find that our surroundings/relationships no longer support our personal or professional development.

You know who you are and what you want. A heightened understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals is a strong indicator that you’re ready for change. This self-discovery often follows personal development work, and can provide the impetus needed to make informed decisions about your future.

You are more willing to take risks. If you find yourself more open to taking calculated risks and less fearful of the consequences, it’s a good sign that you’re prepared for a new chapter.

You are experiencing a major life change. A job change, divorce, empty-nesting, or the loss of a loved one, often serve as catalysts for personal transformation. These experiences may force you to re-evaluate what truly matters to you and prompt you to explore new directions.

You are ready to leave your comfort zone. If you’re feeling the urge to push your boundaries, learn new things, travel or challenge yourself in ways you haven’t dared before, it’s a sign that you’re ready for something more.

You want to live a more purposeful life. A search for purpose is often a sign that you’re ready to align your life with your deeper values. Whether it’s finding a career that resonates with who you are, pursuing a project that you are passionate about, or connecting more meaningfully with others, your need to have a purpose in life is a powerful motivator for change.

You’re ready to let go. Starting a new chapter means leaving the past behind. If you’re prepared to leave behind old habits, limiting beliefs, or relationships that no longer serve you, it’s a strong indication that you’re ready for a fresh start.

Don’t make the mistake I made and wait until you feel “completely ready,” take a leap of faith and start your next chapter. As you face new challenges, you might discover an inner strength you didn’t know you had, giving you the confidence to step into this new chapter of your life. The key is to move forward despite your fear, trusting that you’ll grow into the person you need to be along the way.

“He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears.”— Michel de Montaigne

How to Make the Leap

Once you decide that you’re ready to start a new chapter, it’s time to take action (same goes for when you have no choice but to start a new chapter):

• Assess Your Current Situation: Before making any significant changes, take stock of where you are now. Evaluate your skills, resources, and support system and update these as necessary.
• Set Clear Goals: Define what you want to achieve in this new chapter. Be specific about your objectives and break them down into manageable steps.
• Build a Strong Support Network: Having a solid support system can provide guidance, motivation, and practical assistance as you embark on your new adventure.
• Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Approach your new chapter with an open mind and a willingness to learn. Challenges and setbacks are inevitable, but viewing them as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles will help you move forward.
• Start Small: Big life changes don’t have to happen overnight. Taking small, consistent steps toward your goals will build your confidence and help you gain momentum.
• Trust the Process: Every transition comes with challenges and moments of uncertainty. Trust that this is all part of your growth and that you’ll come out stronger on the other side.

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling a strong pull toward a new chapter, honour your inner voice and take the time to assess your readiness. Trust your instincts, weigh the pros and cons, and make a decision that aligns with your values and goals. It’s natural to feel apprehensive and uncertain; acknowledge your fears, but don’t let them paralyse you. Focus on the potential benefits and opportunities that await you in this new chapter. The journey may be uncertain, but the rewards can be extraordinary.

Are you ready to turn the page?

If you want to begin a new chapter in your life, but are still hesitating, come and walk a section of the Camino de Santiago here in the southwest of France. Countless times, during a Your Sensational Next Chapter Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat I have seen how this unique opportunity helped my guests to reflect, reconnect with their purpose, gain clarity on what lies ahead, commit to their decisions and walk confidently into the next chapters of their lives.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” – J.P. Morgan

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And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a Your Sensational Next Chapter retreat.

“Introverts can’t lead.” “They’re too shy to network.” “Entrepreneurship is for extroverts.”

These myths have limited introverted business owners and professionals for too long. The quiet, reflective nature of introverts is exactly what makes them exceptional leaders, powerful communicators, and successful business owners.

Introverts are often misunderstood. From stereotypes of being shy or socially awkward to assumptions that they can’t lead or network effectively, these misconceptions can hinder not only the way introverts see themselves but also the opportunities available to them. In reality, introverts have unique strengths and qualities that are often overlooked but are critical for professional success.

I used to be an introverted professional, now I am an introverted business owner. The most difficult part of being an introvert is not realising that the problems I encountered were due to this personality trait and not because I was somehow deficient, especially as a business owner. Since I have figured out that on the introvert-extrovert continuum, I tend towards the introvert side, life is much easier. I have even come to accept that what I first saw as weaknesses, are in reality my strengths.

Do you have introverts on your team? Or are you part of the 40% of the population who are introverts? Then you may have come across, or have been limited by the myths below:

Myth 1: Introverts Are Shy and Socially Awkward

One of the most pervasive misconceptions about introverts is that they are inherently shy or lack social skills. While it’s true that some introverts may feel uncomfortable in large social settings, introversion is more about how we recharge our batteries than it is about being shy. We typically prefer quieter environments and meaningful one-on-one interactions over group settings. Introverts actually have highly developed social skills and form strong, authentic relationships—we just don’t seek or enjoy superficial or large-scale social interactions as much as our extroverted peers.

Myth 2: Introverts Can’t Lead Effectively

Leadership is often associated with boldness, public speaking, and rallying the troops with loads of enthusiasm and energy. This has led to the misconception that introverts can’t be effective leaders. In truth, many introverts are strong leaders who bring a thoughtful, attentive and reflective style to leadership. They tend to listen more, observe carefully, and make well-considered decisions. These qualities can make introverted leaders more approachable and trustworthy, creating an environment where employees feel heard and valued.

I discovered that some of the most successful business leaders in history, including Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, are introverts who have demonstrated that leadership is not about being the loudest in the room—it’s about having a clear vision, focus, and the ability to bring out the best in your team.

Myth 3: Introverts Struggle with Networking

Networking can be intimidating for introverts, especially in environments designed for extroverts—loud, fast-paced events with constant conversation. This is 100% true for me. I can attend conferences etc., and I even enjoy the buzz, but I usually only stay for a short while, and afterwards, I need a couple of days to recuperate. Introverts excel in smaller, more intimate networking settings. We are masters of meaningful conversations and tend to forge stronger connections with fewer people rather than spreading ourselves thin across a broad network.

Introverts often excel in long-term relationship-building, which is essential for professional success. We may not be the life of the party, but our authentic connections often result in lasting professional relationships.

Myth 4: Introverts Don’t Make Good Entrepreneurs

Entrepreneurship is frequently seen as a high-energy, risk-taking, fast-paced undertaking—qualities often associated with extroversion. As a result, introverts are often dismissed as unlikely candidates for business ownership. However, many introverts thrive as entrepreneurs, especially once they realise that their introverted characteristics are not weaknesses, but strengths.

Took me a while.

We actually excel in areas crucial to entrepreneurship, such as creative problem-solving, strategic planning, and long-term visioning. Our ability to work independently, think deeply, and stay focused allows us to create sustainable businesses that may outlast the high-energy, fast-paced models often preferred by extroverted entrepreneurs.

Myth 5: Introverts Are Poor Communicators

Another stereotypic belief is that introverts are poor communicators because they tend to speak less. In reality, introverts often communicate with clarity and depth. We may take time to reflect before speaking, but this often results in more thoughtful and impactful communication. This skill can be especially valuable for introverted business owners and professionals, where precision and the ability to convey complex ideas clearly are critical. As we need time to think before we reply, we are much better at written than spoken communication, so if you have introverts on your team, offering the possibility of communicating by e-mail may be the best way towards a highly performant and productive team.

Myth 6: Introverts Avoid Conflict

Introverts are often perceived as conflict-avoidant, preferring to keep the peace at all costs. Indeed. Avoiding conflict is always my preferred option. While it’s true that we may not seek out confrontation, introverts are often very good at handling conflict when necessary. Our calm nature can help de-escalate tensions, and our preference for deep thinking allows us to consider multiple sides of an argument before responding. This can make introverts skilled mediators who help foster long-term resolutions rather than temporary fixes.

“Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision and relentlessly drive it to completion.” — Jack Welch

The Quiet Power of Introverted Business Owners and Professionals

Maybe you are a team leader who has introverts on your team and would like to figure out how you can work together more efficiently. I hope this article has given you some ideas. While introverts might not fit the traditional mould of what is considered “professional” or “entrepreneurial,” we own a variety of strengths that are often underused and underappreciated. Our ability to focus, think strategically, build strong relationships, and lead with thoughtfulness are all powerful tools in the world of business.

If you are an introverted business owner, believe me when I say that acknowledging these unique strengths is THE key to overcoming your limiting beliefs. Introverts don’t need to fit into an extrovert-driven model of success; instead, we can craft our own path by leveraging our natural strengths. Whether it’s choosing a business that aligns with your personality traits or designing networking opportunities in a way that feels authentic, we have a wealth of resources at our disposal to help us thrive.

I have experienced and seen firsthand how walking the Camino de Santiago can help introverted professionals reconnect with their strengths and navigate the uncertainties of business ownership. This is one of the reasons I now host Camino de Santiago de Compostela walking retreats here at my little farm in the southwest of France, created especially for introverts and especially for introverts who feel stuck or who are struggling through a major life change, to offer introverts time and a safe haven to recharge their batteries, reflect on their strengths and increase confidence in their own abilities—an empowering experience for introverts looking to break free of misconceptions and realise their full potential.

Introverted professionals and business owners can excel—not by pretending to be someone they’re not—but by understanding, owning, and using their unique strengths.

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And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a Your Sensational Next Chapter retreat.

This article highlights how introverted professionals and entrepreneurs are misunderstood, while also providing practical encouragement for leveraging their strengths in both professional and business settings.

How self-hypnosis can help you reset your emotional state and empower you to thrive through life’s transitions.

Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from the world around you? In a world that glorifies busyness, burnout has become a steadily spreading epidemic that steals our energy, creativity and productivity. What if you could rewire your mind to recharge, refocus, and reclaim your spark—right from the comfort of your own home? Hypnotising yourself is a powerful yet often overlooked tool that can help combat extreme physical and mental fatigue.

What is Self-Hypnosis?

Self-hypnosis is a self-directed technique that allows you to enter a state of deep relaxation and focus. By quieting the conscious mind and accessing the subconscious, you can reprogram negative thoughts, reduce stress, and regain control over your emotions. It’s not magic—it’s a science-backed approach to managing your mental and emotional well-being.

Can Anyone Hypnotise Themselves?

Yes, almost everyone can hypnotise themselves. Unlike stage hypnosis, self-hypnosis is a natural state that most people enter regularly every day without realising it. For example, if you’ve ever been so absorbed in a book, film, or task that you lost track of time, you’ve experienced a form of hypnosis.

Self-hypnosis is accessible to most people because:

1. It’s a Natural State

Self-hypnosis taps into a state of focused attention that is familiar to everyone. Whether it’s daydreaming, meditating, or being “in the zone” while working, people naturally slip into hypnotic states. It is simply about intentionally guiding yourself into this state.

2. No Special Skills Required

Hypnotising yourself doesn’t require any special skills. It’s about learning simple relaxation techniques and using positive suggestions to guide your subconscious mind. With practice, anyone can become proficient.

3. Guided Self-Hypnosis

For those who find it difficult to relax or focus, guided self-hypnosis recordings can help. These audio programs provide step-by-step instructions to guide you into a hypnotic state, making it easier to learn the process. You can also write and record your own self-hypnosis scripts (see below.)

4. Individual Variability

While most people can achieve some level of self-hypnosis, the depth of the hypnotic state can vary. Some may enter a deep, thoroughly relaxed state, while others experience a lighter level of relaxation. Both levels can provide benefits. So while individual experiences may vary, almost everyone can benefit from self-hypnosis at some level.

If you have a specific medical condition or are experiencing mental health issues, it’s always best to consult with a healthcare professional or a licensed practitioner first. They can help you determine if hypnosis is appropriate for you and if it will be helpful in your specific case.

Counteracting Burnout: A Path to Renewed Inspiration and Motivation

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired; it’s a complex response to prolonged stress, often accompanied by feelings of helplessness, mental fog, and a loss of motivation. Here’s how self-hypnosis addresses these symptoms:

1. Deep Relaxation: Self-hypnosis calms your nervous system, reducing the fight-or-flight response that keeps you in a state of constant stress. With practice, you can teach your body and mind to relax more deeply than during regular rest.
2. Reprogramming Negative Thought Patterns: Burnout often brings a wave of limiting beliefs like “I can’t keep up” or “I’m not good enough.” Self-hypnosis allows you to replace these thoughts with positive affirmations, shifting your mindset from overwhelmed to empowered.
3. Restoring Mental Clarity: A cluttered mind can make even simple tasks feel insurmountable. Self-hypnosis helps clear mental fog by promoting calm and focus, enabling you to think more clearly and make decisions with confidence.
4. Revitalizing Motivation and Creativity: One of the hallmarks of burnout is the loss of motivation and creative spark. Self-hypnosis reconnects you with your inner drive, helping you visualize success and reignite passion for your work and life goals.

How to make Self-Hypnosis work for You

1. Find a peaceful spot where you can be alone and undisturbed for about 10-15 minutes.
2. Get comfortable, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes and begin to take slow, deep breaths, letting your body relax progressively from your head all the way to your toes.
3. Choose a positive affirmation or focus point for your session. If you’re addressing burnout, you might try something like, “With every breath, my energy is restored” or “I release tension and welcome calm.”
4. As you continue breathing deeply, visualize yourself stepping down a staircase or walking along a tranquil path. With each step, allow yourself to sink deeper into a state of relaxation.
5. Use imagery that feels comforting to you, like memories of a peaceful retreat or a serene walk in nature.
6. When you feel fully relaxed, begin to repeat your affirmations. Focus on feeling completely at ease, allowing those peaceful feelings to deepen with every breath.
7. When you’re ready to finish, gently count from 1 to 5, telling yourself you’re becoming more awake and energized. Open your eyes, feeling refreshed and clear-minded.

For a more detailed description of how to hypnotise yourself, you can download two How to Write a Self-Hypnosis Scripts from my full article, “Break Free from Burnout: Harness the Power of Self-Hypnosis“.

CLICK HERE to download your self-hypnosis scripts, discover the next steps in unlocking your mind’s potential and find out how self-hypnosis can truly transform burnout into a breakthrough.

Are you going through the motions at work, feeling like something is missing—despite the promotions, paychecks, and accolades?

Imagine waking up every day with a deep sense of purpose, knowing that the work you do isn’t just paying the bills but fulfilling your soul. If you’ve ever felt the nagging void of doing work that lacks meaning, it’s time to discover how aligning your career with your true purpose can transform not just your job—but your entire life. Ready to stop settling for ‘just a job’ and start living your life purpose.

In our fast-paced, achievement-driven world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle of work without reflecting on its deeper meaning or whether it aligns with our true purpose. For many, the idea of “living my life purpose” is an elusive concept—something reserved for a select few who seem to know from birth what they are meant to do. But the reality is that aligning our work with our life purpose is not only attainable, it’s essential for long-term work satisfaction.

What Is Your Life Purpose?

Our life purpose is the underlying reason that motivates us and that gives our life significance. Unlike a career or job title, which may change throughout your life, your life purpose tends to remain consistent, guiding your choices and actions in subtle but powerful ways.

Purpose doesn’t have to be a grand or monumental goal. It can simply be the impact we want to have on others, the joy we want to bring into the world, or the legacy we want to leave behind.

Signs Your Work Isn’t Aligned with Your Life Purpose

One of the clearest signs that the work you’re doing isn’t aligned with your life purpose is a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction or disconnection. Even if you’re successful by conventional standards, you may feel like something is missing. You might be chronically stressed, and end up with burnout, which can indicate that your work isn’t meeting your deeper needs.

Here are some common signs that it might be time to evaluate and adjust the alignment between your work and life purpose:

• Feeling unfulfilled despite hitting goals or making progress at work
• Lack of enthusiasm for tasks that used to inspire and motivate you
• Constantly daydreaming about doing something else
• An ongoing desire to put more meaning into your work

Steps to Align Your Work with Your Purpose

Identify What Truly Matters to You Start by reflecting on your values, passions, and strengths. What are the moments in your life where you’ve felt the most alive, fulfilled, or inspired? These moments often contain clues about your deeper purpose. Ask yourself:

• What are the values I hold dearest?
• What activities make me lose track of time?
• When do I feel most fulfilled in my work?

Define Your Personal Mission Once you’ve identified what matters to you, define your personal mission—your “why.” This doesn’t need to be complicated or perfect. It could be as simple as “I want to inspire creativity in others,” or “I want to make people feel heard and understood.” Defining this mission helps clarify the kind of work that will feel purposeful to you.

Evaluate Your Current Work Look at your current job or career path through the lens of your personal mission. Does it align with what you find meaningful? If not, consider what small changes you can make in your current role. Sometimes, we don’t need a radical career shift but rather an adjustment in our focus or responsibilities. For example, if your purpose is to help others, could you take on a mentorship role within your organisation? Could you pivot to a project that’s more aligned with your values?

If you standing at a crossroads or stuck in the middle of a major life change and feel unsure of your next steps, it may be time to gain the clarity, motivation, and direction you need to align with your true purpose. My ‘Discover Your Life Purpose after a Life Transition‘ online course will help you create your next chapter—both personally and professionally. Ready to step into your future with confidence? Find out more about this course today!“

The Benefits of Purpose-Driven Work

When your work aligns with your life purpose, you experience a profound sense of fulfilment that goes beyond external achievements. Your energy increases, your creativity explodes, and you find meaning in everyday tasks. Rather than chasing success or validation from outside sources, you cultivate a deeper sense of contentment because you know that what you’re doing aligns with who you are and the impact you want to make in the world.

People who live and work in alignment with their purpose tend to experience:

• Increased resilience in the face of challenges
• Greater motivation and enthusiasm for their work
• Deeper satisfaction with their accomplishments
• A sense of clarity and direction in life

What matters most in a purposeful life is giving one’s fullest strength to one’s cause. Great efforts assure satisfaction, while common efforts can lead to regrets. – John Soforic

Reminder

Aligning the work we do with our life purpose isn’t just a luxury for a few—it’s something everyone can achieve with intentional action. The journey to purposeful work may take time, but it is well worth the effort. When you find that alignment, your work becomes not just a job, but a meaningful expression of who you are.

And if you feel you need a break, away from all the hustle and bustle, come and recharge your batteries here in the sun-drenched southwest of France. Walk part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela and spend a few days in the presence of my patient, understanding and supportive horses – even if you don’t interact with them at all, just having them around is calming and comforting – on a Your Sensational Next Chapter retreat.

While researching my article about being paralysed by an identity crisis during major life changes, I came across this compelling quote, “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state…Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” James Allen

The saying, “We attract not what we want but who we are,” implies how the energy we embody shapes our experiences and the people we draw into our lives. Rather than mere wishful thinking, it suggests that our inner state—our thoughts, emotions, beliefs and mindset—has a magnetic quality that brings forth external realities that reflect our internal world.

At its core, this concept is based on the principle of alignment. If we are seeking abundance, happiness or success, but our inner world is full of self-doubt, fear, or negativity, we may find that we don’t achieve the results we desire. Instead, we might attract situations or relationships that mirror our deeper unresolved issues. In essence, we are constantly attracting people or situations into our lives, but it’s not necessarily what we consciously ask for—it’s what we energetically align with.

Like Attracts Like

The Law of Attraction suggests that like attracts like. Although I do not agree with everything that the Law of Attraction suggests, I do agree on this point. What we put out into the world through our thoughts, feelings, and actions will find its way back to us. But more than just focusing on our desires, it is crucial to recognise and adjust as necessary, the state of being from which we are manifesting. Are we operating from a place of confidence, clarity, and generosity? Or from insecurity, scarcity, and fear?

We attract who We are in our Relationships

Consider Sally, who desperately wants to attract a healthy, balanced, loving relationship but has unresolved emotional baggage, such as fear of abandonment or low self-worth. Even though Sally may actively seek a loving partner, she might continue to attract partners who are emotionally unavailable, untrustworthy, or distant. Why? Because her subconscious belief system still holds onto past wounds and mistrust.

I often suggest to my guests that they make a list of all the qualities they would like in a partner, and once they have done that, I suggest that they start to embody those qualities themselves.

The key lies in becoming the kind of person who naturally attracts the partner you desire. This means doing the inner work to heal, cultivating self-love, setting boundaries, and being honesty with yourself and with others. Once our inner world adjusts, we are more likely to attract a partner who reflects this new state of emotional maturity.

We attract who We are in our Careers

Meet Sylvian, who aspires to be successful in his career. He sets goals, networks, and takes action to achieve success, yet consistently feels blocked or unable to make any progress. Upon reflection, he might realise he carries a belief that he is “not good enough” or that success is something only others can attain.

Even though you are taking external action to pursue your ambitions, your internal dialogue may be filled with self-doubt and fear of failure. This energy repels opportunities, as it creates a misalignment between your desires and who you believe yourself to be. Once you shift your mindset, cultivating confidence, worthiness, and a sense of abundance, you may begin to notice doors opening effortlessly and attract clients, promotions, or opportunities that reflect your newfound belief in yourself.

We attract who We are Healthwise

Sandra wants to lose weight or increase her fitness levels. She sets goals, starts exercising, and follows a diet plan, but her underlying beliefs might include thoughts like, “I’ve always been fat,” or “I’m just not someone who enjoys exercising.” These internal beliefs can create resistance, making it difficult for her to stick to her eating routine and fully embrace a new healthy lifestyle.

Even if she follows through, her results may be limited because she remains convinced that she “will always be fat.” This misalignment between her goals and her self-perception can sabotage her progress.

To truly attract the fit and healthy body you desire, you need to shift your mindset from the past to the future. Instead of identifying as someone who struggles with their weight, you can start to embody the identity of someone who loves and cares for their body, enjoys movement, and feels vibrant and full of energy. By focusing on this internal shift, you will naturally start to make choices—whether it’s food, exercise, or lifestyle choices—that align with this new fitter and healthier version of yourself. Our inner beliefs about health can influence the external manifestation of well-being, which reinforces the idea that we attract experiences that mirror our core identity.

We attract who We are during life Transitions and Transformations

Closer to home, here on my little farm in the south of France, I have noticed that walking the Camino de Santiago is an experience that mirrors this concept beautifully. Many hikers set off on the journey with specific intentions—perhaps seeking clarity, solutions, or a change in their lives. Yet, what they often discover is that the Camino doesn’t necessarily give them what they want in a direct sense; rather, it gives them what they need, reflecting their internal state.

For example, some of my guests who attend my Next Chapter Camino De Santiago walking retreats, find themselves stuck right in the middle of a major life change. They might start walking the Camino hoping for a clear indication of how to get unstuck, only to find that a complete transformation occurs internally. As they walk, they are faced with physical, emotional, and mental hurdles that mirror their own struggles in life. By confronting these challenges on the trail, they begin to shift their internal state—finding peace, resilience, or acceptance. In turn, they may discover that getting unstuck no longer matters that much, because they have been transformed from within.

How to Embody What You Want to Attract

If we wish to attract abundance, happiness, health, success or love, we must first embody those qualities ourselves. This requires a commitment to inner work, self-awareness, and personal growth. Here are a few steps to help align with what you truly desire:

1. Identify Your Core Beliefs: Take an honest inventory of your core beliefs around the areas you wish to improve, whether it concerns your relationships, career, or health. What stories do you tell yourself? Do your stories empower you or do they limit you and keep you stuck?
2. Reset Your Mindset: Once you’ve identified limiting beliefs, work on replacing them with empowering thoughts. Focus on gratitude, positive affirmations, and visualisation to identify opportunities and possibilities.
3. Make Small Changes: Rather than envisioning the perfect person you want to become and trying to embody that all at once, start with small, specific changes that align with your current self. Focus on incremental growth rather than an instant, dramatic transformation.
4. Take Aligned Action: While internal shifts are crucial, they must be coupled with aligned action. Move in the direction of your objectives with confidence and trust in the process.
5. Let Go of Resistance: Often, what holds us back is resistance—fear, doubt, or the need to control the outcome. Trust that by aligning with your true self, the right people and opportunities will naturally come to you.

“Imagination is everything, it is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein

Reminder

“We attract not what we want but who we are” reminds us that our external reality is a reflection of our internal state. If we want to create positive change in our lives, the transformation must first begin within. It is less about getting what you want and more about becoming who you need to be.

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Imagine waking up one day and realising the person staring back at you in the mirror looks like a complete stranger. Not because of an impromptu hairstyle change or the appearance of a few extra grey hairs, but because life has changed so dramatically that you do not recognise yourself anymore.

Major life changes—whether it’s a career shift, loss of a job, starting a new business, moving to a new country, an empty nest or losing someone you love—can stir up feelings of disorientation, frustration and confusion. The priorities that once guided your choices may no longer seem relevant. You might feel unmoored, like a ship without a sail, grappling with the question: Who is that person in the mirror?

An Identity Crisis may make you feel paralysed, lost and insecure, unable to decide what you want to do next.

If you are no longer a doctor, wife, parent, teacher, chef…what are you now?

I know that feeling well. Losing your sense of identity after a major life change is a fairly common occurrence. When I had to stop working as a medical doctor due to problems with my eyes, I left lost. If I’m no longer a doctor, what am I? What will I do now? How will I earn a living?

I have learned to accept the identity crises that follow major life changes not as an end, but as a new beginning.

Imagine this: You’ve spent years climbing the corporate ladder. Then one day, you leave the office (voluntarily or otherwise), and suddenly, your schedule is devoid of PowerPoint presentations and quarterly goals. You’re standing in line at a coffee shop, feeling oddly unmoored. “What do people even do at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday?” you wonder. These moments may come with an internal narrative of fear, failure and self-criticism: “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

If you are going through a major life change, how will you know if you are suffering from an identity crisis? You may:

Feel Disconnected from Your Former Self

One of the most noticeable signs of a loss of identity is a sense of disconnection from who you once were. You might no longer identify with the roles, routines, or labels that previously defined you. Things that used to bring you joy, like hobbies, work, or relationships, may no longer resonate. It’s as if you’re living someone else’s life, going through the motions without a clear sense of who you truly are. This disconnect can make it difficult to find meaning in day-to-day activities.

Feel Confused and Uncertain

A loss of identity often brings with it a profound sense of confusion and uncertainty. You may find yourself asking, “Who am I now?” as the roles you once played—whether as a professional, parent, or partner—may no longer feel relevant. This shift can leave you feeling directionless, with no clear sense of purpose or understanding of where your life is heading. As a result, your goals and values may seem blurred, further amplifying this uncertainty.

Experience Emotional Instability

When your identity is in flux, your emotions often reflect this instability. You may experience heightened anxiety, frustration, or sadness, often tied to your struggle to recognise yourself in your current situation. At times, you might feel emotionally lost or as if you’re “floating” without firm grounding in any sense of self. The smallest of changes can seem overwhelming because you’re no longer sure what anchors you.

Withdraw from Social Connections

Another common characteristic of identity loss is a tendency to withdraw from social circles. You might feel disconnected from friends, family, or communities that were once central to your life because you no longer feel you fit into the roles you played within them. This can lead to isolation, as you sense that others don’t understand the shifts you’re experiencing. What was once familiar now feels foreign, leaving you to retreat further into yourself.

Notice a Shifting of Your Priorities

Alongside identity loss comes a shift in priorities. What once felt vital to your happiness or success may suddenly seem trivial or irrelevant. You may begin to question the values and goals that once drove your decisions, leading to a period of introspection and reevaluation. The ambitions that used to inspire you may no longer hold the same power, and you may struggle to find motivation in areas that were once central to your life.

Become More Self-Critical

A loss of identity can often bring with it a harsh inner dialogue. You may find yourself frequently questioning your decisions, doubting your abilities, or feeling like you’re not contributing enough. This self-criticism can create feelings of inadequacy, as though you’ve failed by not maintaining a stable sense of who you are. It’s common to feel as though you’ve “lost” yourself and to criticise your inability to regain control.

Ask Yourself Existential Questions

During this period, it’s natural to begin questioning the bigger picture. You might start pondering larger existential questions about life, meaning, and purpose, searching for a deeper sense of fulfilment. As you seek clarity, spirituality or new philosophical paths may appeal to you, offering the hope of aligning with your evolving understanding of who you are—or who you’re becoming.

Struggle to Define Who You Are in Relationships

As your sense of self shifts, so too do your relationships. You may struggle to navigate your roles within romantic, familial, or professional relationships, feeling uncertain about how to relate to others as the person they once knew. This dissonance can lead to confusion or tension in these connections, especially if the changes in your identity are significant or sudden.

Feel “Stuck” or Demotivated

A common characteristic of identity loss is feeling stuck or unmotivated. Without a clear sense of who you are, it can be difficult to make future plans or feel enthusiastic about what’s ahead. You may feel as though you’re stagnating, with no clear path forward, and this lack of direction can make it hard to take decisive actions or pursue meaningful goals.

Search for New Ways to Define Yourself

Finally, a loss of identity often initiates a search for new ways to define who you are. You may begin to explore new interests, careers, or social circles in an effort to rebuild your sense of self. This process can involve a lot of trial and error, as you experiment with different roles, activities, and identities to see what feels authentic. Though this period can be challenging, it also holds the potential for profound growth and renewal.

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During an identity crisis, I have found both journaling and affirmations invaluable. Below are five powerful affirmations I have used to redefine who I am after a major life change:

1. “I am not defined by my past roles, occupation or circumstances; I have the power to shape who I am going to be next.” This affirmation encourages you to accept change and the freedom to evolve beyond your former identity.
2. “The person I am becoming is aligned with my current values, priorities and purpose.” This affirmation facilitates the process of self-discovery and alignment with your current aspirations.
3. “I am continuously growing, evolving, and becoming the best version of myself.” This reminds you that change is a natural part of life and that growth is an ongoing process.
4. “I release what no longer serves me and welcome the person I am meant to be.” By focusing on release and renewal, this affirmation helps in letting go of old identities and initiates personal transformation.
5. “I honour the lessons from my past, but I am not bound by them. I create my future with intention.” This affirmation acknowledges the value of past experiences while empowering you to consciously design your future, free from limitations.

You’ll find hundreds of journal prompts scattered throughout the articles on this website. Many of these I use to help guests who attend my Next Chapter Camino de Santiago Walking Retreats resolve their identity crises with the assistance of my horses. We also work on implementing tailor-made affirmations, similar to the ones above.

I am convinced that one of the most powerful ways to navigate life transitions is to step outside of your everyday environment, and there’s no better way to do that than to walk the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. This ancient pilgrimage path offers not only physical distance from your everyday life but also the mental space to reflect, realign, and rediscover who you are becoming.

During my Next Chapter retreats, you can process your identity crisis surrounded by stunning landscapes and the support of a small like-minded group. The experience offers an opportunity to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and listen to your inner voice. Many participants leave with not only a renewed sense of self but also a sense of clarity about their next steps.

Conclusion

Life transitions can feel disorienting, but they also present a powerful opportunity for growth. Losing your sense of identity and finding that your priorities have changed is part of the human experience—one that allows you to redefine what matters most and embrace new possibilities. By reflecting and giving yourself the space to reconnect with your core, you’ll emerge stronger and more authentic than ever before.

If you’re ready to take that step, consider joining us on a Next Chapter Camino de Santiago walking retreat, where you’ll have the time and space to rediscover your identity and reclaim your purpose. The road ahead is full of possibilities and opportunities.

If you try to Navigate Life without Your Inner Compass during a Major Life Change, You are going to get Lost

Meet Your Inner Compass

Your “inner compass” refers to your internal guide or sense of direction, shaped by your core values, beliefs, instincts, and desires. It represents the intuitive sense of what feels right or wrong for you personally, helping you to navigate life’s choices and decisions in a way that aligns with your true self. It is one of your greatest allies when you are going through life changes, challenges and crises.

“In 2020, during the pandemic, which was a major life crisis for most of us, with too much time on my hands, I concluded that I was subconsciously ignoring my inner compass. I was stuck in a dead-end relationship. After investing significant time and energy into this relationship, it was difficult to walk away. I stayed, for more than a decade, because I felt I’ve already put in so much effort and I kept hoping that it will eventually pay off. I thought, “I’ve already come this far, maybe just a little more effort will make things better,” even though my inner compass suggests otherwise.

I was wearing a mask, presenting a version of myself that didn’t fully reflect who I truly am. I adopted behaviours, attitudes, and a lifestyle that didn’t resonate with my inner values. I fell in love not just with who my partner was, but with who I believed he could become. I sometimes saw glimpses of the person I wanted my partner to be and held on to the hope that this version would eventually emerge. This attachment to potential made it difficult to acknowledge the truth of who he really was. I discovered that if you’re not following your inner compass, you often end up feeling lost.” S. Valentine

Why do we ignore our Inner Compass?

• We might ignore our inner compass out of fear of being alone or due to emotional or financial dependency on certain situations or people.
• The desire for approval and acceptance can lead us to seek validation from others or feel pressured by social or cultural expectations to conform.
• Avoiding confrontation or difficult conversations, along with discomfort with change or disrupting the status quo, can cause us to disregard our inner guidance.
• Low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness might make us believe we don’t deserve better or fear we won’t find another opportunity, leading us to ignore our true feelings.
• A deep emotional attachment to certain memories or experiences, along with nostalgia for better times, can make it hard to listen to our inner voice.
• The belief that things will improve and the investment in the hope that circumstances will change can keep us from following our inner compass.
• Reluctance to let go due to the time and energy already invested, combined with a commitment to making things work at all costs, can cause us to overlook our true feelings.
• Denial of the current reality and a tendency to overlook or dismiss red flags can prevent us from acknowledging what our inner compass is telling us.
• A belief that things will eventually get better and misplaced faith in the strength of our current path can lead to disregarding inner signals.

To avoid losing our way during life transitions, we need to mindfully pay attention to what our Inner Compass is trying to tell us.

How do you know when you are back on track following your inner compass?

If you are following your true inner compass you are aligned with your core values: Your core values are the principles that matter most to you, such as integrity, compassion, freedom, or generosity. These values are your personal moral compass, guiding your decisions and behaviours. When you align your actions with your core values, you’re ensuring that what you do reflects who you truly are. For example, if you value honesty, you’ll feel compelled to act with transparency, even when it’s difficult. If you value creativity, you’ll seek opportunities to express yourself in innovative ways. This alignment creates a sense of harmony within yourself because your outer actions reflect your inner beliefs.

If you are following your true inner compass you are listening to your intuition: Intuition is often described as a gut feeling or an inner knowing that doesn’t necessarily arise from conscious reasoning. It’s that quiet, sometimes subtle voice that tells you when something feels right or wrong, even if you can’t immediately explain why. Intuition often manifests as physical sensations in your body—tightness in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, or a sense of calmness and peace. These sensations are your body’s way of signalling whether something aligns with your inner truth. Trusting your gut feelings means paying attention to these signals and taking them seriously, even if you can’t logically explain them at the moment. For example, you might feel an unexplainable sense of discomfort about a decision that seems perfectly rational on the surface. Trusting your gut in this scenario might mean reevaluating the decision or considering alternatives.

If you are following your true inner compass you are pursuing what you really want: True desires are those that emerge from your authentic self, not from societal expectations, peer pressure, or external validation. These desires are deeply connected to your passions, dreams, and what genuinely brings you joy and fulfilment. When you pursue these desires, you are following a path that feels deeply satisfying and meaningful. It’s about recognizing what you truly want, beyond what you’ve been told you should want, and making choices that lead you closer to those goals. This could mean choosing a career that aligns with your passion, engaging in hobbies that light you up, or building relationships that nourish your soul.

If you are following your true inner compass you trust yourself: Trusting yourself is an essential part of following your inner compass. It involves believing in your ability to make the right decisions for your life, even when those decisions are unconventional or go against the advice of others. Self-trust grows from self-awareness and experience; the more you practice listening to and acting on your inner guidance, the more confident you become in your ability to navigate life’s challenges. Trusting yourself also means accepting that you won’t always have all the answers immediately, but believing that you can figure things out as you go.

If you are following your true inner compass you are authentic in your choices: Authenticity is about being true to yourself in every aspect of your life. It’s the courage to make choices that reflect your true self, rather than trying to fit into moulds that others have set for you. When you are authentic, you don’t compromise your values or desires to please others; instead, you live in a way that is congruent with your inner truths. This can sometimes be challenging, as it may require going against the grain or making difficult decisions. However, being authentic in your choices ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life because you are living in alignment with who you truly are.

Following your inner compass is about living a life that is true to who you are at your core. This involves an acute alignment between your actions, decisions, and the inner truths that define you—your values, instincts, and objectives. It’s a process of tuning in to what resonates with you on a fundamental level, and then allowing that resonance to guide your choices.

Journaling Prompts to Help You Follow Your Inner Compass during a Life Crisis

• When have I felt the most ‘in tune’ with myself? What was I doing, and how did it feel?”
  Think about the times in your life when you felt deeply connected to your true self—when your actions, thoughts, and feelings were perfectly aligned. What were you doing during these moments? Were you pursuing a passion, spending time with loved ones, or simply enjoying solitude? Describe these experiences in detail, focusing on the emotions you felt and why these moments stood out to you. Then, reflect on how you can bring more of these ‘in tune’ experiences into your daily life. What small changes could you make to feel more aligned with yourself on a regular basis?

• What desires or dreams do I keep coming back to, and why do they resonate with me?”
  Identify the dreams, goals, or desires that persistently occupy your thoughts, even if you’ve pushed them aside. Why do these particular desires resonate with you? What deeper need or value do they represent? Perhaps they align with your passions, your desire for freedom, or your need for self-expression. Write about the emotional connection you have with these dreams. Then, explore the barriers that have kept you from pursuing them. What small, actionable steps can you take to begin moving toward these desires? How would your life change if you started to honour and follow these dreams?

• How do I typically feel when I ignore my intuition? How can I start trusting it more?”
  Reflect on past experiences when you had a gut feeling or an instinct about something, but chose to ignore it. What was the outcome of that decision? How did it make you feel emotionally and physically? Did you experience regret, frustration, or a sense of misalignment? Now, think about what it would take for you to start trusting your intuition more. What are the small steps you can take to listen to that inner voice, such as checking in with yourself before making decisions or paying attention to physical sensations like tension or ease in your body? Write about how trusting your intuition could positively impact your life and help you make decisions that feel right for you.

Following your inner compass is not just about making decisions, but about living a life that is deeply aligned with your authentic self. It’s a holistic approach to life that requires self-awareness, courage, and a commitment to your true values, instincts, and desires.

If you have difficulty following your Inner Compass during a Life Crisis, I can help. You can either invest in my Discover Your Life Purpose after a Life Transition online retreat to gain the clarity, motivation and direction you need to manifest your next chapter in both your personal and professional life, or join me here on my little farm in the south of France for a Camino de Santiago de Compostela Your Next Chapter walking retreat.