burnout - Dr Margaretha Montagu

19/10/202522/10/2025

Is My Stress and Anxiety Actually Harming My Long-Term Health?

What this is: A medically-informed, deeply human exploration of how chronic stress and anxiety can damage your body, brain, and future—and what you can actually do about it before the damage becomes irreversible.

What this isn’t: Another guilt-inducing wellness sermon telling you to “just breathe” or download a meditation app whilst your company burns and your inbox explodes.

Read this if: You’ve noticed your body keeping score (mysterious aches, erratic sleep, a immune system that’s clearly resigned from its post), you suspect your “high-functioning anxiety” might be a polite term for something more serious, or you’re exhausted from being exhausted.

Five Key Takeaways for the Relentlessly Driven

Your stress response wasn’t designed for quarterly reports: Your ancient fight-or-flight system treats Monday morning emails like sabre-toothed tigers, flooding your body with cortisol that was meant to save your life for ten minutes, not poison it for ten years.
The “successful stress carrier” is a medical myth: That romantic notion of thriving under pressure? Research shows chronic stress and anxiety actively shrink your hippocampus, age your cells faster, and increase your risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and autoimmune conditions by 40-60%.
Your body whispers before it screams: Tension headaches, digestive chaos, and that 3 a.m. wide-awake-worry sessions aren’t personality quirks—they’re early warning systems that something fundamental needs recalibrating.
Stress management techniques aren’t self-care fluff: They’re evidence-based interventions with measurable impact on inflammatory markers, telomere length, and disease progression—as powerful as many medications, but without the side effects.
You can’t think your way out of a nervous system problem: Cognitive strategies help, but chronic stress reduction requires embodied practices that signal safety to your autonomic nervous system—movement, connection, nature, and nervous system regulation techniques that work below the level of conscious thought.

Reaching Your Breaking Point

Here’s the uncomfortable truth your last performance review didn’t mention: your body cannot distinguish between a genuine threat to your survival and a passive-aggressive email from your board chair.

The stress response—that magnificent evolutionary inheritance that once helped your ancestors outrun predators—activates identically whether you’re facing a lion or a looming deadline. Your heart races. Your muscles tense. Cortisol floods your bloodstream. Blood diverts from your digestive system to your limbs. Your immune function temporarily suspends operations.

Brilliant design for a ten-minute crisis. Catastrophic design for a ten-year career.

Yet here you are: navigating restructures, managing difficult personalities, making decisions that affect hundreds of lives, responding to crises that genuinely matter—all whilst your primitive nervous system mistakes your admirable dedication for mortal danger.

And the question that likely brought you here, the one you’ve been pushing aside between meetings, finally demands an answer: Is my stress and anxiety actually damaging my long-term health?

The short answer, delivered with twenty years of medical experience and the evidence base to support it: Yes. Absolutely. And probably more than you think.

But—and here’s where it gets interesting—you’re asking the question. Which means you’re already halfway toward the most important health intervention of your professional life.

Amanda’s Story: Success’ Bitter After-Taste

Amanda Payne could tell you the exact moment her body started keeping different books than her brain.

It was 4:47 a.m. on a Wednesday in March, and she woke with her heart battering against her ribs like something caged and furious. The bedroom was dark, the duvet heavy, her husband’s breathing steady beside her. Nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong.

Her mouth tasted like rusted metal. Her jaw ached from clenching. When she pressed her fingers to her neck, her pulse felt like someone frantically knocking on a door that wouldn’t open.

Amanda was 43, the CEO of a mid-sized tech consultancy she’d built from nothing over fifteen years. Brilliant at her work. Devoted to her team of 120 people who depended on her decisions. Recently promoted to the board of a national industry association. Mother to two teenagers who still, occasionally, needed her.

She was also, though she wouldn’t have used these words yet, drowning.

The panic attacks—because that’s what they were, though she’d been calling them “stress reactions”—had started six months earlier. First monthly, then weekly, now almost nightly. She’d scheduled a doctor’s appointment three times and cancelled three times because something urgent always erupted. Because she was fine. Because she could handle this.

The morning routine had become archaeological: excavating herself from anxiety’s layers. Shower hot enough to hurt, hoping to reset her nervous system. Coffee strong enough to override the trembling. Concealer thick enough to hide the shadows that had taken up permanent residence beneath her eyes.

She caught her reflection whilst brushing her teeth—electric toothbrush buzzing, mint sharpness in her mouth—and barely recognised the woman staring back. When had her face become so thin? When had those lines carved themselves beside her mouth?

Amanda had always prided herself on her capacity. She could hold complexity, manage crises, make decisions under pressure. She was the person others turned to when things fell apart. Strong. Reliable. Unflappable.

Except her hands were flapping now—trembling, actually—as she tried to fasten the tiny buttons of her blouse. The fabric felt wrong against her skin, everything felt wrong, the house too quiet and too loud simultaneously, the smell of coffee suddenly nauseating.

She sat heavily on the edge of the bed, the mattress exhaling beneath her weight.

“Amanda?” Her husband’s voice, thick with sleep and worry. “Again?”

She nodded, unable to speak past the tightness in her throat. His hand found her back, warm through the silk blouse, and she wanted to lean into it but couldn’t let herself soften. If she softened, she might break entirely.

The commute to the office felt like travelling through fog. Her chest remained tight, her breathing shallow. Twice, she had to pull over because her heart’s hammering made her feel certain she was dying.

Both times, after ten minutes, her heart settled. Both times, she told herself to stop being ridiculous.

The morning meeting—glass-walled conference room, the bitter tang of too much coffee, voices presenting problems she was meant to solve—blurred past. She took notes. Asked questions. Made decisions. All whilst her body screamed that something was terribly, urgently wrong.

Nobody noticed. She was very good at this—the performance of competence whilst her autonomic nervous system staged a coup.

But her body was noticing. Tracking. Recording.

The tension headaches that arrived at 2 p.m. daily like unwanted appointments. The digestive system that had apparently decided solid food was negotiable. The sleep that came in shallow, anxious snatches between 3 a.m. worry sessions. The immune system that seemed to have abandoned its post—her third cold in as many months.

Amanda had started keeping antacids in every bag, ibuprofen in every drawer. She’d normalised functioning through discomfort, pushing past signals that used to mean something.

And then came the moment that changed everything.

A routine physical—the one she’d finally kept—revealed blood pressure that made her doctor’s eyebrows rise. Inflammatory markers elevated. Cortisol levels, as her GP put it with careful gentleness, “chronically dysregulated.” Early signs of what could become serious cardiovascular risk.

“Amanda,” her doctor said, leaning forward with the particular expression doctors reserve for delivering difficult truths, “your body is working so hard to keep you functional that it’s beginning to break down the infrastructure. This level of chronic stress and anxiety isn’t sustainable. Not for months. Certainly not for years.”

She sat in the surgery car park afterwards, engine off, hands gripping the steering wheel, and finally let herself feel the full weight of what she’d been carrying. The fear she’d been outrunning. The truth her body had been trying to tell her in every language it knew.

She wasn’t managing the stress and anxiety. The stress and anxiety were managing her.

And something fundamental needed to change—not next quarter, not after the next big project, but now, before her body’s whisper became a scream she couldn’t ignore.

The Neuroscience of What’s Actually Happening Inside You

Let’s talk about what chronic stress and anxiety are doing to the remarkable machinery of your body.

Your stress response, the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, is a brilliant short-term survival system. When activated, it mobilises every resource toward immediate action: cortisol surges, glucose floods your bloodstream for quick energy, your heart rate and blood pressure spike, your immune system temporarily downregulates (because fighting infections is irrelevant if you’re about to be eaten).

Perfect for escaping predators. Devastating when activated forty times daily for eighteen months straight.

Here’s what the research, and my twenty years working with stress-related illness, reveals about chronic stress and anxiety’s long-term effects:

Cardiovascular consequences: Persistent stress hormones damage your blood vessel walls, promote plaque formation, increase blood pressure, and disrupt heart rhythm. Studies show chronic stress increases heart attack risk by 40% and stroke risk by nearly 50%. Your heart, quite literally, wears out faster under constant pressure.

Immune system suppression: Chronic cortisol exposure suppresses your immune response, making you more susceptible to infections, slowing wound healing, and potentially increasing cancer risk. That “getting sick every month” pattern? Your immune system waving a white flag.

Metabolic disruption: Stress hormones promote insulin resistance, increase appetite for high-calorie foods (your body thinks you’re in famine), encourage abdominal fat storage, and significantly increase Type 2 diabetes risk. The “stress weight” around your middle isn’t vanity—it’s visceral fat that actively produces inflammatory chemicals.

Neurological impact: Chronic stress shrinks your hippocampus (memory centre), enlarges your amygdala (fear centre), and disrupts prefrontal cortex function (decision-making, emotional regulation). You’re not imagining that you can’t think clearly—stress is literally remodelling your brain toward anxiety and away from resilience.

Cellular ageing: Telomeres—the protective caps on your chromosomes—shorten faster under chronic stress, effectively ageing your cells more rapidly. You’re wearing out faster at the molecular level.

Gastrointestinal chaos: The gut-brain axis means your digestive system serves as a stress barometer. Chronic stress and anxiety alter gut bacteria composition, increase inflammation, and contribute to IBS, inflammatory bowel disease, and other digestive disorders.

But here’s what matters more than the frightening list: these processes aren’t inevitable. They’re reversible, especially when caught relatively early.

This is where my work over fifteen years hosting stress management retreats on the Camino de Santiago and developing burnout recovery programmes becomes relevant. I’ve witnessed hundreds of high-achieving professionals—people very much like you—interrupt these destructive patterns and rebuild their health from the inside out.

The magic isn’t in the single intervention. It’s in the layered approach: nervous system regulation techniques, embodied stress reduction practices, connection and community, movement in nature, and the often-overlooked power of storytelling to metabolise difficult experiences.

I’ve seen how trauma-informed, body-based interventions can recalibrate a dysregulated stress response faster than cognitive strategies alone. Your nervous system needs proof of safety, not just thoughts about safety.

And this isn’t merely clinical observation—it’s evidenced in the thirty-plus testimonials from retreat guests who’ve moved from burnout to breakthrough, confirmed by the research on nature-based interventions, mindfulness practices, and somatic therapies for chronic stress reduction.

Lupien SJ, Juster RP, Raymond C, Marin MF. The effects of chronic stress on the human brain: From neurotoxicity, to vulnerability, to opportunity. Front Neuroendocrinol. 2018 Apr;49:91-105.

Mariotti A. The effects of chronic stress on health: new insights into the molecular mechanisms of brain-body communication. Future Sci OA. 2015 Nov 1;1(3):FSO23.

Yaribeygi H, Panahi Y, Sahraei H, Johnston TP, Sahebkar A. The impact of stress on body function: A review. EXCLI J. 2017 Jul 21;16:1057-1072.

The Ripple Effect: How Your Stress Shapes Your World

Here’s what nobody tells you about healing chronic stress and anxiety: it’s not actually about you.

Yes, your health matters. Your well-being matters. Your right to feel like a human rather than a productivity machine matters enormously.

But when you address the stress and anxiety systematically eroding your health, you don’t just save yourself. You transform your entire ecosystem.

Consider the concentric circles: Your partner stops walking on eggshells, no longer trying to manage your nervous system alongside their own. Your children learn what healthy boundaries look like from observation, not lecture. Your team stops absorbing your unspoken tension and performs better because you’re genuinely present, not performing presence whilst drowning internally.

Your creativity returns—the kind of lateral thinking that solves intractable problems—because your prefrontal cortex isn’t constantly hijacked by survival responses. Your decision-making sharpens. Your emotional regulation improves. You become the leader your organisation actually needs, not just the one who shows up and pushes through.

I’ve written eight books on navigating life’s difficult passages—divorce, loss, unexpected illness, crises—because I’ve learned this truth: the most powerful healing isn’t solitary. It happens in relationship, in community, in the spaces where we dare to be witnessed in our vulnerability and discovered in our resilience.

This is why the storytelling circles I facilitate—sometimes with retreat guests gathered around a fire, sometimes in virtual spaces with participants across continents, always in the gentle presence of my Friesian horses (Twiss, Kashkin, and Zorie) and Falabella ponies (Loki and Lito)—create such profound shifts.

When you speak your truth and watch it land in compassionate witnesses, something fundamental changes. The shame and isolation that amplify stress and anxiety begin to dissolve. You realise you’re not uniquely broken—you’re humanly exhausted by inhuman demands.

And that realisation becomes the foundation for genuine, sustainable change.

Your Action-Oriented Writing Prompt: The Stress Inventory and Strategic Response

Take twenty minutes with this exercise. It’s designed not just for insight, but for immediate action planning.

Part One: The Honest Audit (10 minutes)

Complete these sentences without editing, judgement, or trying to make it sound reasonable:

The physical signs my body uses to tell me I’m chronically stressed include…
The situations or people that most reliably activate my stress response are…
The stress management techniques I claim to use but actually don’t are…
If I’m brutally honest, I avoid addressing my stress and anxiety because…
The specific ways my stress impacts the people who depend on me include…

Part Two: The Strategic Intervention Plan (10 minutes)

Now, treating yourself as you would your most valued team member who came to you with this same list, answer:

Immediate action (this week): What’s one embodied practice I can implement immediately that signals safety to my nervous system? (Examples: morning walk before devices, three minutes of conscious breathing before meetings, eating lunch away from my desk)
Short-term intervention (this month): What professional support do I need to access? (Examples: GP appointment for baseline health assessment, therapist specialising in stress-related issues, stress management retreat or programme)
Medium-term restructuring (this quarter): What boundary, responsibility, or expectation needs renegotiating to create sustainable functioning? Be specific about what you’ll say no to, delegate, or redesign.
Long-term strategy (this year): What fundamental aspect of how I work, live, or relate to stress needs complete reimagining? What would I do if I took my health as seriously as my responsibilities?
Accountability structure: Who will I share this plan with, and when will I report progress? (If the answer is “nobody,” that’s part of the problem—isolation amplifies stress and anxiety.)

Share this with one trusted person within 48 hours. Tell them you’re taking your health seriously. Ask them to check in with you weekly. Watch how articulating it makes it real.

From the Field: Voices of Transformation

From the Camino: Sarah T., Management Consultant, London

“I arrived at Dr. Montagu’s Camino de Santiago retreat certain I was fine, just ‘a bit run down.’ Three days of walking, mindfulness practices, and the profound gentleness of the storytelling circles—something broke open. Or perhaps broke through. I realised my body had been screaming for two years, and I’d been too busy achieving to listen. The combination of movement, nature, and being truly witnessed in my exhaustion without judgement gave me permission to finally admit I wasn’t managing the stress—it was managing me. Six months later, my blood pressure is normal, I’m sleeping through the night, and I’ve restructured my entire practice around sustainability rather than survival. The horses—particularly Kashkin, who seemed to sense my nervous system better than I did—taught me that presence is more powerful than performance. I return to the experience whenever I feel the old patterns creeping back.”

From the Virtual Storytelling Circle: Jennifer M., Chief Financial Officer, Toronto

“Joining Dr. Montagu’s storytelling circle felt like coming home to a part of myself I’d abandoned years ago. For ninety minutes every fortnight, I’m not the CFO holding it together—I’m simply Jennifer, speaking and being heard without needing to perform competence. The other participants—all high-capacity professionals carrying similar burdens—create a space where vulnerability becomes strength. I’ve shared things in these circles I’ve never told my therapist, partly because there’s no pathology in the listening, just compassionate witnessing. My stress and anxiety haven’t disappeared, but my relationship to them has transformed completely. I’ve learned to metabolise difficult experiences through story rather than storing them as tension in my body. The practice has been more effective for my chronic stress reduction than any pharmaceutical intervention I’ve tried.”

Five Razor-Sharp FAQs

Q: I genuinely don’t have time for stress management techniques. How do I address this if my schedule is already impossible?

A: This question reveals the problem’s core: you’re treating stress management as another task competing for time, rather than the foundation that makes everything else possible. Start microscopically—two minutes of conscious breathing before your first meeting isn’t time you don’t have; it’s time that makes the next hour more effective. Chronic stress reduces your cognitive capacity by up to 50%. The question isn’t whether you have time for stress reduction; it’s whether you can afford not to.

Q: How do I know if my stress and anxiety levels require professional intervention versus self-management?

A: If in doubt, seek professional advice, and certainly if you’re experiencing: persistent physical symptoms (chest pain, chronic digestive issues, unexplained pain), significant sleep disruption, panic attacks, substance use to manage stress, thoughts of self-harm, or if stress is damaging important relationships.

Q: I’ve tried meditation and mindfulness apps, and they don’t work for me. What are the alternatives for chronic stress reduction?

A: Apps fail most high-achievers because they’re trying to impose calm from the top down onto a nervous system screaming from the bottom up. Try embodied approaches instead: vigorous exercise that metabolises stress hormones, cold water exposure that interrupts the stress response, nature immersion that naturally downregulates cortisol, somatic practices that release stored tension, creative expression that processes difficult emotions, or community connection that signals safety. Your nervous system needs physical proof, not just mental concepts. Match the intervention to your physiology.

Q: Can chronic stress actually be reversed, or have I already done permanent damage?

A: The human body is astonishingly resilient. Whilst some stress-related damage (particularly cardiovascular) may not be completely reversible, most physiological stress responses can improve dramatically with sustained intervention. Neuroplasticity means your brain can rebuild neural pathways; inflammatory markers decrease with stress reduction; immune function recovers; even telomere shortening can slow or stabilise. The key is “sustained”—this isn’t a quick fix. But I’ve seen profound health restoration in people who’d been chronically stressed for decades once they committed to systematic change. Your body wants to heal; you simply need to create conditions that allow it.

Q: How do I maintain stress reduction practices when I return to the same high-pressure environment that created the problem?

A: Environment modification is crucial, but it’s not the whole answer. Yes, advocate for systemic changes—reasonable workloads, clear boundaries, organisational culture shifts. But simultaneously, build stress resilience like you’d build any other critical capacity: through consistent practice, community accountability, and integration into your identity rather than your to-do list. The professionals who sustain change treat stress management like brushing teeth—non-negotiable daily hygiene, not optional self-care. They also build regular immersive experiences (retreats, courses, intensive workshops) that recalibrate their baseline when daily practices aren’t sufficient. Think of it as preventive maintenance rather than crisis intervention.

Conclusion: The Health Risk You Cannot Afford to Ignore

Here’s what I know after two decades of sitting with brilliant, exhausted professionals in crisis: you didn’t arrive at burnout and chronic stress through weakness. You arrived through strength applied in the wrong direction for too long.

Your capacity for endurance, your tolerance for discomfort, your ability to push through—these are genuine strengths. But like any strength overused, they’ve become your vulnerability.

The question isn’t whether your stress and anxiety are harming your long-term health. The evidence is clear: they are. The inflammatory markers, the cardiovascular risks, the accelerated cellular aging, the immune suppression—these aren’t theoretical. They’re measurable, progressive, and potentially irreversible if ignored long enough.

But the more important question—the one your body is asking with every tension headache, every sleepless night, every moment your heart races without reason—is this: What becomes possible when you finally take your health as seriously as your responsibilities?

When you treat stress reduction not as self-indulgence but as a strategic necessity?

When you recognise that sustainable excellence requires a sustainably healthy human at its centre?

Your body has been keeping score, whispering warnings you’ve been too busy to hear. But whispers can become conversations. Conversations can become transformations. And transformations—the deep, embodied kind that reset your nervous system and rebuild your resilience—can become the foundation for a genuinely sustainable life.

Not perfect. Not stress-free. But fundamentally viable in the long term.

You didn’t start reading this article accidentally. Some part of you—the wise part that exists below your achieving, performing, pushing-through self—knows something needs to change.

Trust that knowing. It might just save your life.

An Invitation to The Camino Crossroads Retreat

Imagine this: standing at dawn on an ancient pilgrim path in the gentle hills of south-west France, mist rising from wildflower meadows, your breath steady and deep for the first time in months. No agenda but the path itself. No performance required. Just walking, breathing, becoming.

My Camino de Santiago walking retreat isn’t a holiday from your stress—it’s a comprehensive intervention in how stress lives in your body and shapes your life.

The Camino de Santiago Crossroads Retreat

Over several days of gentle walking on this UNESCO World Heritage trail, we layer proven stress management techniques into the natural rhythm of pilgrimage: daily mindfulness and meditation practices that train your nervous system toward regulation rather than reaction; somatic exercises that release years of stored tension from your tissues; and the transformative power of storytelling circles where you metabolise difficult experiences in compassionate community.

The walks themselves, through sunlit forests, past 12th-century chapels, across rolling countryside, provide what research confirms: nature immersion naturally reduces cortisol, lowers blood pressure, and restores depleted attentional resources. But the magic happens in the spaces between the walking.

In my storytelling circles, facilitated by my Friesian horses, something remarkable unfolds. These extraordinary creatures—with their attunement to nervous system states we haven’t yet learned to consciously recognise—create a presence that invites profound authenticity. In their gentle witness, guests find permission to speak truths they’ve been carrying alone, to be seen in their exhaustion without judgement, to discover they’re not uniquely broken but humanly overwhelmed.

The retreat combines the evidence-based practices I’ve refined through twenty years of medical practice with the embodied wisdom I’ve developed through fifteen years of hosting these transformative experiences. You’ll learn practical chronic stress reduction techniques you can integrate immediately into your demanding life—but more importantly, you’ll experience what nervous system recalibration actually feels like in your body.

Small groups (maximum four guests) ensure genuine connection and individualised attention. Comfortable accommodation provides sanctuary. Delicious local food becomes part of the healing. And the pace—deliberately slower than your ordinary life—teaches your nervous system what “safe” actually feels like, creating a new baseline you can return to when stress threatens to overwhelm.

This isn’t escape. It’s strategic intervention for professionals who’ve been running on fumes and calling it fuel. It’s permission to take your health seriously before your body makes that decision for you.

The path awaits. So does the version of yourself you’ve been too busy to become.

Dr. Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP) is a physician, NLP master practitioner, medical hypnotherapist, and life transition coach with two decades of experience supporting professionals through stress-inducing life changes and challenges and burnout recovery. She is the author of eight books on navigating life’s difficult passages and hosts transformative stress management retreats on the Camino de Santiago in south-west France.

10 Powerful Life Lessons Learned While Walking the Camino de Santiago – a free guide filled with 10 not just “quaint anecdotes” or Instagram-worthy moments (though there are plenty of those) but real transformations from real people who walked the same insight-giving trail you might want to walk one day – Subscribe to my monthly newsletter to Download the Guide

29/09/202529/09/2025

What’s the fastest Way to reset during a hectic Workday?

#Stress Relief Techniques

Here’s what I’ve learned after two decades of watching executives burn out in slow motion: they don’t need 60 minutes of yoga. They need 60 seconds of recovery on demand.

Last Tuesday, I watched a CEO take three back-to-back calls without breathing properly, not once. Not metaphorically – literally. Shallow chest breathing, shoulders hunched, jaw clenched. By the time she reached for her third espresso at 11 AM, her nervous system was already operating in the red zone.

Sound familiar?

Three Micro-Recovery Stress Relief Techniques

We’ve been sold a myth about stress management: that we need elaborate rituals, expensive memberships, or chunks of time we don’t have. The truth? Stress isn’t a problem that needs solving. It’s pressure that needs releasing.

Think of your nervous system like a pressure cooker. You can’t avoid the heat – that’s called having a career. But you need a release valve. And here’s the fascinating part: your body doesn’t know the difference between a 60-minute meditation retreat and a 60-second intentional pause. Both trigger the parasympathetic nervous system. Both lower cortisol. Both are effective.

Let me share three micro-recovery hacks that transformed how my clients lead:

The Doorway Reset (30 seconds)
Every time you walk through a doorway today, pause for three full breaths. That’s it. Doorways are natural transition points anyway – you’re simply making them intentional. This builds what neuroscientists call “state control” – the ability to shift your physiology on demand. My clients report feeling 40% more centred after just one week of this practice.

The Calendar Compassion Buffer (2 minutes)
Stop scheduling back-to-back meetings. I know, revolutionary. But here’s why it matters: your brain needs 120 seconds to process what just happened and prepare for what’s next. Without this buffer, you’re bringing the emotional residue of one meeting into the next. That tension in your shoulders? That’s unmetabolised stress, and it compounds. Schedule 28-minute meetings instead of 30. Use those two minutes to stand, stretch, and literally shake it off.

The 3-5-7 Breath (90 seconds)
When pressure spikes, your breath becomes shallow and rapid. This signals danger to your amygdala, which releases more stress hormones, which makes your breath more shallow. It’s a vicious cycle. Break it with this: breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 5, exhale for 7. The extended exhale activates your vagus nerve – your body’s internal brake pedal. Three rounds of this changes your biochemistry. I’ve watched executives go from panic to presence in less time than it takes to connect to Instagram for a cat video.

These micro-tools are powerful. They keep you functional. But they’re short-term, not long-range.

Five years ago, I hit a wall I didn’t see coming. Not burnout exactly – I was still productive, still showing up. But I’d become a stranger to myself. I was managing stress brilliantly while losing touch with why any of it mattered. I was winning a game I’d forgotten how to enjoy.

That’s when I started walking short sections of the Camino de Santiago.

The Neuroscience of Walking Meditation

Here’s what happens to your brain when you walk with intention:

The repetitive motion induces what researchers call “transient hypofrontality” – a temporary quieting of your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that plans, judges, and never stops talking. Meanwhile, your brain waves shift from beta (active thinking) to alpha and theta (creative, meditative states). You access insights that no amount of sitting meditation or executive coaching could touch.

But it’s more than neurochemistry. It’s humility. When you are walking the Camino, your carefully constructed identity as “senior leader” or “industry expert” becomes irrelevant. You’re just a person, moving through ancient landscapes, stripped down to essentials. There’s profound wisdom in that reduction.

Walking meditation does something that boardroom strategy sessions never can: it aligns your three brains. Your head brain (cognition), heart brain (emotion), and gut brain (intuition) synchronise. This isn’t a metaphor – all three have neural networks, and walking creates the conditions for them to communicate.

The Questions Nobody Asks Until They Stop

One Sunday afternoon on the Camino, I sat on a stone wall watching the sun set over vineyards that had been tended for centuries. A farmer nodded at me on his way home. And I thought: When did I last do anything at walking pace?

We optimise everything. Revenue per employee. Minutes per meeting. Steps per day. But we never ask: What if efficiency is the wrong metric for a human life?

The executives who attend my Camino de Santiago walking retreats don’t find answers immediately. That’s not the point. They find the right questions. Questions like:

What am I building toward if I’m not present for the building?
When did stress become my primary relationship?
What would I do if I trusted myself completely?

These aren’t questions you can answer in a coffee break. They require space. Silence. The kind of deep time that only walking provides.

Why Walking Recalibrates Us

When you walk 15 miles a day, you can’t multitask. You can’t optimise. You can’t perform. You can only be. And in that radical simplicity, something unexpected happens: you remember what it feels like to be resourced instead of depleted. Spacious instead of compressed. Connected instead of isolated.

The people who return from these retreats don’t have all the answers. But they have something more valuable: they trust their own compass again. They make decisions faster because they’re not second-guessing their instincts. They lead with more presence because they’re not constantly bracing against the next thing. They’re simply more themselves.

Your Next Right Step

You don’t need to walk across France tomorrow. Start with your favourite of these stress relief techniques: the doorway reset. Test the 3-5-7 breath. Build your micro-recovery muscle.

But if you’re reading this and thinking, “This sounds nice, but I haven’t got time,” that’s exactly when you need to do it – now.

👉 That’s why I created Camino de Santiago Walking Executive Reset Retreats.

Small groups. Intentional pacing. No forced epiphanies or manufactured vulnerability. Just walking, reflection, and the kind of conversations that only happen when people are moving together toward something meaningful.

Because the fastest way to go far isn’t to run faster. It’s to remember why you started walking in the first place.

What’s your 60-second reset? Drop it in the comments – I’d love to hear from you.

P.S. If you’re curious about the retreats, send me a message. The retreats fill up fast, not because I’m a great marketer, but because people who’ve walked with me can’t stop talking about it. That’s the only metric that matters.

More information about the Camino de Santiago Stress Reset Retreats

“I am an experienced medical doctor – MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach (dip.) Life Story Coach (cert.) Stress Counselling (cert.) Med Hypnotherapy (dip.) and EAGALA (cert.) I may have an impressive number of letters after my name, and more than three decades of professional experience, but what qualifies me to excel at what I do is my intuitive understanding of my clients’ difficulties and my extensive personal experience of managing major life changes using strategies I developed over many years.” Dr M Montagu

21/07/202521/07/2025

Why Boundaries Are Crucially Important During Life Transitions

The Truth About Boundaries: Your Questions Answered

Boundaries during life transitions are like wearing a life jacket in turbulent waters—they keep you afloat when everything else feels like it’s pulling you under. They protect your energy, preserve your sanity, and give you the space to actually choose your next chapter instead of being swept away by everyone else’s opinions about what you should do.

The Great Unravelling

Picture this: You’re standing at the edge of a cliff, but instead of feeling terrified, you’re oddly excited. Below you isn’t certain death—it’s the unknown. Behind you is everything familiar, everything safe, everything that no longer fits. This is the moment when most people realise they desperately need boundaries, usually right after their well-meaning Aunt Margaret has spent twenty minutes explaining why their life choices are “concerning.”

Life transitions are messy, beautiful, terrifying things. They’re the periods when we shed old skins like snakes, except we’re doing it in public while everyone watches and offers unsolicited advice. Whether it’s a career change, divorce, parenthood, loss of a loved one, or simply the realisation that you’ve outgrown your current life, transitions demand something from us that we’re rarely taught: the art of saying no to everything that doesn’t serve our growth.

Sam’s Story: The Boundary Breakthrough

Sam Moore had built her catering empire from her grandmother’s kitchen table, armed with nothing but a killer lasagna recipe and the stubborn belief that good food could fix anything. By thirty-five, she was running three restaurants, employing forty-seven people, and hadn’t taken a real vacation in seven years. The success tasted like sawdust in her mouth.

The morning everything changed started like any other. Sam stood in her flagship restaurant’s kitchen at 5:30 AM, the familiar weight of responsibility settling on her shoulders like a lead blanket. The smell of coffee beans grinding mixed with the yeasty aroma of bread dough rising—scents that once made her heart race with excitement now felt suffocating. Her hands, already stained with flour from muscle memory, moved through the morning prep routine while her mind wandered to places it wasn’t supposed to go.

What if I just… disappeared?

The thought hit her like a splash of cold dishwater. She could hear the sizzle of onions hitting hot oil in the pan beside her, the rhythmic thud of her sous chef’s knife against the cutting board, the gentle hum of the industrial refrigerator. These sounds had been her lullaby for years, but now they felt like a prison soundtrack.

“Sam, your mother’s on line two,” called Marcus, her manager, from the pass. “Something about the family reunion menu.”

Sam’s stomach clenched. The family reunion—another obligation, another expectation, another “yes” she’d automatically given without thinking. She wiped her hands on her apron, leaving streaks of tomato sauce that looked suspiciously like war paint, and walked to the phone.

“Samantha, darling, I was thinking we could do that wonderful seafood buffet you did for the Henderson wedding, but maybe add those little quiches everyone raves about, and oh! Could you make your grandmother’s tiramisu? I know it’s a lot of work, but—”

Sam stared at her reflection in the stainless steel surface of the prep counter. Her face looked hollow, her eyes rimmed with the kind of exhaustion that sleep couldn’t fix. In that warped reflection, she saw herself at forty-five, fifty, sixty—still saying yes, still carrying everyone else’s expectations, still slowly disappearing under the weight of being needed.

“No,” she said quietly.

“What’s that, dear? The connection must be—”

“No, Mom. I can’t do the reunion.” The words felt strange in her mouth, like speaking a foreign language. “I’m taking a break.”

The silence on the other end was deafening. Sam could practically hear her mother’s brain recalibrating, trying to process this unprecedented response from her eternally accommodating daughter.

“Are you feeling alright? You never say no to family.”

Exactly, Sam thought. That’s the problem.

Over the next three months, Sam discovered that setting boundaries during her transition was like learning to breathe underwater—terrifying at first, but absolutely essential for survival. She hired a business manager, delegated more to her team, and for the first time in her adult life, she said no to things that didn’t align with her vision for her future.

The pushback was immediate and uncomfortable. Her business partners questioned her commitment. Her family accused her of being selfish. Regular customers complained when she wasn’t personally available to handle their every request. But something magical happened in the space she created: clarity.

Sam realised she now wanted to teach cooking, not just run restaurants. She wanted to travel, to learn regional cuisines, to write the cookbook that had been living in her head for years. She wanted to fall in love again—with food, with life, with herself.

The smell of her grandmother’s kitchen, which had been buried under years of commercial kitchen stress, came flooding back. The taste of simple, perfectly ripe tomatoes. The feel of bread dough responding to her touch. The sound of genuine laughter over a shared meal. The sight of someone’s face lighting up when they took their first bite of something she’d created with love instead of obligation.

Six months later, Sam stood in a small cooking school in Tuscany, teaching a class of twelve enthusiastic students how to make pasta from scratch. The late afternoon sun streamed through the windows, casting everything in golden light. Her hands were covered in flour again, but this time it felt like possibility instead of prison.

“The secret,” she told her students, kneading the dough with practised ease, “isn’t just in the technique. It’s in knowing when to say no to everything else so you can say yes to what matters.”

Five Key Takeaways

1. Boundaries Are Not Walls, They’re Bridges

Think of boundaries as sophisticated filters, not barricades. They don’t shut people out; they create space for authentic connection. When Sam learned to say no to obligatory family catering gigs, she created room for meaningful conversations with her mother about her dreams and fears. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is refuse to enable someone’s unhealthy patterns—including your own.

2. The Guilt Is a GPS, Not a Stop Sign

That uncomfortable feeling when you first set a boundary? That’s your old programming having a tantrum. Guilt during transitions often signals that you’re moving in the right direction, challenging patterns that no longer serve you. As Maya Angelou wisely said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” This includes when you show yourself who you’re becoming.

3. Start Small, Think Big

You don’t need to revolutionise your entire life overnight. Sam started by saying no to one family obligation. From that tiny seed grew a complete life transformation. Practice boundary-setting with low-stakes situations first—declining that committee position, limiting phone calls to certain hours, or simply saying, “Let me think about it” instead of automatically agreeing.

4. Boundaries Require Maintenance

Like gardens, boundaries need regular tending. People will test them, and you’ll be tempted to abandon them when things get uncomfortable. During transitions, this maintenance becomes even more crucial because everyone around you is also adjusting to your changes. Consistency is key—wishy-washy boundaries are like broken fences that invite more trampling.

5. The Right People Will Respect Your Boundaries

Here’s the beautiful truth: the people who belong in your new chapter will celebrate your boundaries, not resent them. They’ll see your self-respect as an invitation to examine their own lives. The ones who fight your boundaries hardest are often the ones who’ve been benefiting from your lack of them. This isn’t always malicious—sometimes people resist change because it forces them to confront their own need for growth.

Write It Out

Grab your journal and a cup of something warm. Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Now, write about a time when you said “yes” to something that ultimately drained your energy or moved you further from your authentic self.

Explore these questions:

What did that “yes” cost you?
What were you afraid would happen if you said “no”?
What boundary could you have set that would have protected your energy while still honoring your values?
If you could go back and have that conversation again, what would you say?

Now, flip the script. Write about a time when saying “no” led to something beautiful or opened a door you didn’t expect. Notice how it felt in your body to honor your own needs.

Additional Exercises for Boundary Building

The Energy Audit: For one week, track your energy levels after different interactions and commitments. Notice patterns. What consistently drains you? What energises you? This data becomes your boundary-setting roadmap.

The Boundary Script Practice: Write out actual scripts for common boundary-setting scenarios. Practice saying them out loud until they feel natural. “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I won’t be able to take that on right now.” Simple, kind, final.

The Future Self Visualisation: Imagine yourself one year from now, living with healthy boundaries. What does your typical day look like? How do you feel? What opportunities have opened up? Let this vision guide your current boundary decisions.

Five Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Won’t setting boundaries during transitions hurt my relationships? A: Boundaries might change your relationships, but they rarely hurt healthy ones. The relationships that suffer are usually the ones that were dependent on your inability to say no. Real relationships grow stronger when both people operate from authenticity rather than obligation.

Q: How do I know if I’m being selfish or just setting healthy boundaries? A: Selfishness seeks to take from others; healthy boundaries seek to preserve your ability to give authentically. If you’re constantly depleted, you have nothing genuine to offer anyway. As the aeroplane safety instructions remind us: put on your own oxygen mask first.

Q: What if I set a boundary and then regret it? A: Boundaries aren’t carved in stone. You can adjust them as you learn and grow. The key is making conscious choices rather than automatic responses. Even a “wrong” boundary teaches you something valuable about your needs and values.

Q: How do I handle the guilt and pushback from family and friends? A: Remember that their discomfort with your boundaries often reflects their own need for growth. Stay compassionate but firm. You can acknowledge their feelings without changing your decision: “I understand you’re disappointed, and I’m still not available for that commitment.”

Q: Is it too late to start setting boundaries if I’ve never had them before? A: It’s never too late to start living authentically. Yes, people might be surprised by your newfound backbone, but that’s their adjustment to make, not your problem to solve. Every day is a chance to choose differently.

The Conclusion: Your Transition, Your Rules

Life transitions are like renovating a house while you’re still living in it—messy, disruptive, and absolutely necessary for creating the space you need to thrive. Boundaries during these periods aren’t just helpful; they’re essential survival tools that protect your energy, preserve your sanity, and create the conditions for authentic transformation.

Sam’s story reminds us that the people who truly love us want to see us flourish, not just function. They want to know the real us, not the people-pleasing version we’ve been performing for years. When we set boundaries during transitions, we’re not just protecting ourselves—we’re modelling for others what it looks like to live with intention and self-respect.

The beautiful irony is that by learning to say no to what doesn’t serve us, we become infinitely more capable of saying yes to what does. We create space for opportunities we never could have imagined, relationships that nourish rather than drain us, and a life that feels authentically ours.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty about your future, you’re not alone. Transitions are inherently uncertain, but they’re also where the magic happens. They’re where we discover who we really are beneath all the expectations and obligations.

Are you ready to discover what’s possible when you create space for your authentic self to emerge? Take our “Are you feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty about your future?” quiz to gain clarity on your next steps and learn how to navigate your transition with confidence and boundaries that actually work.

The Short and Sharp Summary

Why boundaries are crucially important during life transitions: Because transitions are vulnerable times when everyone has opinions about your choices, and without clear boundaries, you’ll end up living someone else’s version of your life instead of your own. Boundaries during transitions aren’t barriers—they’re the scaffolding that supports your transformation, protecting your energy and creating space for authentic growth. They’re the difference between being swept away by change and consciously choosing your next chapter.

28/02/202505/03/2025

Join the Radical Renaissance Revolution

Isn’t it Time to Start Living in Alignment with Who You Are Now?

Why Join the Radical Renaissance Revolution?

Because you are ready for more than just survival—you are ready for reinvention, a fresh start, a next chapter and a life that feels undeniably yours.

It’s a movement designed for those who refuse to settle for mediocrity, who feel the pull of something greater, and who are ready to reclaim their power, purpose, and legacy.

If any of this resonates, the Radical Renaissance Revolution (RRR) is for you:

1. You are struggling with a Major Life Change/Event/Transition

What qualifies as a major life change? Starting or selling a business, moving to a different city or country, getting promoted, retiring from work, going through a divorce or separation, starting a new relationship after a breakup, recovering from an illness or injury, completing a major personal or professional project, losing a loved one or experiencing a significant bereavement, going back to school to pursue further education, changing careers or industries, downsizing, coming out or undergoing a gender transition, have empty nest syndrome as your children have moved out of the family home, recovering from addiction or going through rehabilitation, reentering the workforce after a career break, going through menopause or other significant hormonal changes, starting or ending a significant friendship, financially transitioning from dependence to independence, or taking on caregiving responsibilities for an ageing parent or family member has you searching for solid ground and a clear path forward. The RRR provides the roadmap to ensure you don’t just get through it—you rise from the wreckage stronger than ever before.

2. You Are Experiencing a Midlife Awakening

At a certain age, any time between 35 and 75, you start questioning what truly matters to you. The urgency to leave a legacy, make an impact, or contribute beyond yourself takes centre stage. This is where having a life purpose and living a meaningful life suddenly becomes essential. If you’ve hit this stage, it’s not a crisis—it’s an invitation. The Radical Renaissance Revolution helps you step into your most impactful chapter yet.

3. You Are Ready to Reinvent Yourself

Success isn’t enough if it no longer fits you. Whether you’re burned out, uninspired, or craving something different, this revolution equips you with the clarity and courage to pivot powerfully and on your terms. Reinvention isn’t just possible—it’s necessary.

4. You Seek Deeper, More Meaningful Connections

Purpose and relationships are inseparable. When you realign your life with what truly matters, the right people—your people—appear. The RRR doesn’t just help you find your purpose; it helps you find your tribe.

5. You Need a North Star for Your Next Chapter

The biggest transitions—career shifts, retirement, personal reinventions—can feel like free falls without direction. Whether you’re moving from empty nest to business owner, CEO to mentor, entrepreneur to philanthropist, or executive to artist, the RRR ensures your next move is intentional, aligned, and powerful.

6. You Want to Leave a Legacy That Matters

You refuse to waste your potential. You didn’t come this far just to plateau. The thought of looking back with regret—knowing you could have done more, contributed more, been more—is unacceptable. You start asking yourself: What am I really leaving behind? Wealth and accolades are temporary, but impact endures. The RRR ensures you direct your talents, influence, and ambition toward something that truly fulfils you. It helps you create a legacy that is meaningful, lasting, and uniquely yours.

7. You Need a New Source of Drive and Motivation

When external success stops fueling you, it’s time to look inward. A life without purpose feels stagnant—no matter how much you’ve achieved. Success gives you options, but it doesn’t guarantee happiness. If you feel restless, uninspired, or disconnected despite your success, it’s because achievement isn’t the same as alignment. This revolution isn’t about fixing something broken—it’s about unlocking the missing piece that turns success into true significance.

The Question Is Not “Why Join?”— It’s “Why Wait?”

If you see yourself in any of these, the Radical Renaissance Revolution is your answer. Your reinvention isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable. The only thing left to decide is whether you’ll step into it now or wait until the restlessness turns into regret.

The Radical Renaissance Revolution Step-by-Step

This isn’t just a series of isolated programs—it’s a step-by-step journey designed to transform every facet of your identity, so you move from crisis to clarity, from struggle to strength, and ultimately, from surviving to thriving. Each phase builds upon the last, ensuring you gain the necessary insights, tools, and momentum to evolve into your highest self.

1. Surviving a Life Quake Crisis Intervention
When life throws you a seismic disruption, immediate clarity is essential. This intervention provides the urgent stabilisation and actionable insights you need to navigate major life changes. It’s your launchpad, ensuring you’re not merely surviving but primed for transformation.

2. The Purpose Protocol
Once you’ve stabilised, it’s time to redefine your “why.” The Purpose Protocol helps you rediscover your core purpose and align your actions with your values. This step sets a clear direction, transforming chaos into focused energy and ambition.

3. The Road Map to Resilience
With your purpose redefined, building resilience becomes the next critical milestone. This roadmap equips you with strategies to develop unshakable inner strength, enabling you to face future challenges head-on. It transforms newfound purpose into enduring power.

4. iNFINITE iMPACT Manifesto
Armed with purpose and resilience, you then enter a phase of exclusive one-on-one high-level mentorship. This stage connects you with a top-tier guide who accelerates your growth, ensuring that your transformation translates into real-world impact. It’s where your inner evolution meets external success.

5. From Troubled to Triumphant
Culminating in a transformational retreat on the Camino de Santiago in the southwest of France, this immersive experience is the ultimate consolidation of your journey. Here, you step away from everyday distractions to solidify your growth in an environment designed for deep, reflective change.

6. Legacy Lab Catalyst
The final evolution focuses on crafting your lasting legacy. In this phase, you refine and amplify your impact, ensuring that your transformation creates a ripple effect in your personal and professional world—solidifying the mark of your Radical Renaissance Revolution.

Supporting Tools Along the Way:

Dr. Montagu’s Books (e.g., Embracing Change – In 10 Minutes a Day): Daily insights to reinforce your transformation.
Power-Packed Courses (e.g., Setting RockSolid Boundaries): Targeted lessons to build essential skills at each stage.
The Radical Renaissance Community: A high-caliber network offering ongoing support, accountability, and inspiration.

The Radical Renaissance Revolution is a step-by-step journey designed to guide you from crisis to a more meaningful and impactful life—but transformation isn’t always linear. You don’t have to start at the beginning. Whether you’re in the middle of a major life upheaval, seeking a renewed sense of purpose, or ready to build your legacy, you can step in at the phase that aligns with where you are right now. Each stage is powerful on its own, but having said that, the effect is most remarkable when the RRR is taken step-by-step.

Wherever you begin though, you’ll be exactly where you need to be.

Why You Move From One Step to the Next:

Immediate Crisis Resolution: You start by stabilising and gaining clarity during life’s most turbulent moments.
Purpose Discovery: Once stable, you harness that energy to uncover your deeper motivations.
Resilience Building: With a clear purpose, you fortify your inner strength to withstand future challenges.
Mentorship & Impact: Your enhanced resilience attracts high-level mentorship, accelerating tangible, real-world success.
Immersive Transformation: An exclusive retreat solidifies and magnifies your growth in a life-changing environment.
Legacy Creation: Finally, you refine your influence to ensure your transformation endures and inspires others.

Your Challenge:
This week, map out your own transformational journey by identifying which of the steps above you currently need to focus on. Click on the link and explore each step, discover what resonates. Then, take concrete action and join the program that will propel you to the next stage.

Are you ready to join the Radical Renaissance Revolution?

Imagine waking up every morning with absolute certainty that you’re on the right path—The RRR is about discovering the thread that weaves all your achievements, relationships, and aspirations, at this point of your life, together into a meaningful whole.

The fog lifts. The doubt dissolves.

Your transformation is deeply personal, touching every aspect of your life. Knowing your life purpose would give you a profound sense of clarity, fulfilment, and inner peace—a feeling that you’re finally living in alignment with who you truly are, not just what you’ve achieved.

You will feel:

Relieved: This sense of relief runs deeper than just checking a box. It’s like finally solving a puzzle that’s been nagging at you for years. Imagine that persistent feeling of “something’s missing” being replaced with absolute clarity. You’d understand not just what you want to do, but why you’re uniquely suited to do it. This relief would touch every aspect of your life, from career decisions to personal relationships.

Energised: This isn’t the temporary high of caffeine or a motivational speech you heard. It’s a sustainable, renewable energy that comes from within. When you’re aligned with your purpose, even challenging tasks feel invigorating rather than draining. You’d find yourself tackling projects with enthusiasm, not because you have to, but because they genuinely excite you. This energy would be contagious, inspiring others around you.

Liberated: Freedom from the golden handcuffs of success. Many high-achievers feel trapped by their own accomplishments, afraid to pivot or change direction. Understanding your purpose gives you permission to say no to “good” opportunities that don’t align with your true calling. You’d feel free to make unconventional choices without worrying about others’ judgments because you’d be grounded in your why.

Deeply Satisfied: This satisfaction goes beyond the fleeting pleasure of achievements. It’s a bone-deep contentment that comes from knowing your work matters. Instead of constantly seeking the next accomplishment, you’d find fulfilment in the process itself. Your actions would carry meaning beyond their immediate results, creating ripples of positive impact.

Peaceful: This peace isn’t passive—it’s a dynamic state of being where internal conflict dissolves. The constant questioning of “should I be doing something else?” would fade away. You’d face decisions with clarity, knowing they’re aligned with your values and long-term vision. Even in these challenging times, you’ll maintain an underlying sense of certainty about your direction.

Connected: This connection transforms how you relate to everything and everyone. Work becomes more than transactions; relationships deepen beyond surface-level interactions. You’d feel part of something larger than yourself, whether that’s your community, your industry, or a global movement. This sense of connection would inform every interaction, making even routine tasks feel meaningful.

Inspired: Purpose unleashes creativity in unexpected ways. You’d start seeing opportunities and solutions where others see obstacles. This inspiration would flow naturally, not forced, leading to innovative approaches in both your professional and personal life. Your unique perspective would allow you to contribute fresh ideas that others might miss.

Quietly Confident: This confidence isn’t arrogance—it’s clarity. When you know your purpose, decisions become simpler because you have a clear framework for evaluating opportunities. You’d move forward with conviction, even in uncertainty, because you’d trust your inner compass. This confidence would extend beyond career choices to all life decisions.

Grateful: This gratitude transforms your relationship with success. Instead of feeling like you’re always playing catch-up, you’d appreciate both where you are and where you’re heading. You’d recognize the value in your journey, including the challenges that shaped you. This gratitude would create a positive feedback loop, attracting more opportunities aligned with your purpose.

Powerful: This power comes from alignment rather than force. When your actions serve a greater purpose, your influence naturally expands. You’d find yourself making an impact not just through what you do, but through who you are. This authentic power would attract like-minded people and create opportunities for collaborative impact that extend far beyond your individual reach.

Each of these transformations builds on and reinforces the others, creating a positive spiral of growth and fulfilment. When you’re operating from purpose, these emotional states become your new normal, rather than temporary peaks you’re struggling to maintain.

The Purpose Pursuit Protocol -a proven, structured process designed and tailor-made specifically for high-achievers who refuse to settle for surface-level success. We strip away the noise, the expectations, the external definitions of “making it,” and get to the core of what actually drives you. The work that electrifies you. The contribution that makes your life matter.

Get rid of the nagging emptiness of “Is this all there is?” and step into a life where your accomplishments feel as purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling as they are impressive. This unique mentoring program empowers you to unearth the mission that sets your soul on fire and aligns your life with what truly matters to you—beyond success metrics and societal expectations.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

10/12/202413/02/2025

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 16

The: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Rekindling Old Connections

The holiday season is the perfect time to reconnect with old friends. Life transitions often pull us in different directions, but that doesn’t mean the bond is lost. Sometimes, reaching out after years apart can feel like picking up right where you left off.

Think about someone you’ve lost touch with—a friend who once meant a lot to you. What would it feel like to reconnect? You might just reignite a friendship that brings new joy and comfort.

Journaling Prompt: Who is one friend you’d like to reconnect with? What’s one thing you’d like to say to them?

Action Step: Send a message to an old friend today. It could be as simple as “I was thinking of you and hope you’re doing well.”

Interactive Comment: Ready to reach out to an old friend? Comment with “Old bonds, new beginnings!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz
– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz
– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and
– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

07/12/2024

Breaking Free: Recognising and Escaping Toxic Friendships

How Toxic Friendships Make Burnout Worse

Let’s face it: relationships are like plants. Some thrive with a little neglect (looking at you, cactus friendships), while others wilt the second you forget to water them. But when life hands you burnout instead of butterflies, it’s time to pause and ask: Are my friendships actually helping me grow—or are they part of the reason I’m fried?

Cue the Friendship Audit. This isn’t a breakup blueprint or a list of ways to ghost that one high-maintenance friend (even if they do make you want to throw your phone into the nearest lake). Instead, it’s about reflecting on who’s truly in your corner—and who’s just crowding your calendar.

.The Big Question: Who’s Got Your Back?

Start by taking a mental inventory of your friendships. Grab a journal, a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate, and ask yourself:

Which friends make me feel lighter after talking to them?
Who supports me without needing to be the centre of my universe?
Are there people I secretly dread seeing but feel guilty about letting go?

The truth is, the best friendships aren’t about constant cheerleading or toxic positivity. They’re about showing up in the mess, handing you tissues when you cry over spilled oat milk, and saying, “Burnout? Been there. Let’s order pizza and rage-watch bad reality TV.”

I have always been aware that solid friendships can significantly influence burnout, positively. I haven’t given much thought to the other side of the coin, that “friendships” can also influence burnout negatively.

Toxic friends can not only influence, but significantly exacerbate burnout, particularly during life transitions. These challenging periods already demand substantial emotional resources, making us more vulnerable to stress. These “friends” often drain our energy further by consistently making us feel bad, disrespecting boundaries, and failing to provide genuine support[.

During major life changes, when we need understanding and encouragement the most, toxic friends may instead criticise, belittle our efforts, or simply discourage us. Their negative influence can intensify feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion, which are common symptoms of burnout. Toxic friends can alienate us from other supportive relationships, leaving us without the necessary rest and emotional rejuvenation crucial for managing life changes. This combination of increased stress, lack of support, and emotional depletion can push an already exhausted person further into burnout, making the process of adapting to new life circumstances even more challenging.

Burnout Busters vs. the Burnout Boosters

Friendships should be a two-way street, not a traffic jam of unmet expectations. Here’s your cheat sheet:

Burnout Busters:
✅ Friends who listen without waiting for their turn to talk.
✅ People who respect your boundaries (and don’t guilt-trip you for skipping that 9 p.m. group hang).
✅ Cheerleaders who celebrate your wins—even the small ones like finally folding laundry.

Burnout Boosters:
🚩 The “fixers” who can’t help but give unsolicited advice.
🚩 Energy vampires who turn every convo into a therapy session for them.
🚩 Those who mock your struggles, subtly or not. (“Burnout? From what? All that Netflix?”)

Spotting the Burnout Boosters

Burnout Boosters cause:

Emotional exhaustion: You feel drained or depleted after social interactions, even brief or seemingly positive ones.
Decreased desire for social engagement: You are reluctant to make plans, avoid social activities, and leave messages unanswered.
Overwhelm: You experience anxiety or stress when these “friends” contact you.
Irritability and resentment: You become easily annoyed with these friends over minor issues or you find yourself harboring grudges.
A loss of interest: You struggle to connect with these friends in a pleasurable or meaningful way.
A sense of obligation: You feel guilty when saying no to these friends or you prioritise their needs over your own.
Lack of enthusiasm: You no longer feel excited about spending time with these friends or find previously enjoyable activities burdensome.
Avoidance behaviour: You are constantly making excuses to avoid spending time with these friends or frequently cancel plans.
Mood swings: You experience irritability or quick-temperedness leading to tension in friendships.
Reduced self-care: You neglect your own physical and emotional needs due to burnout.
Feeling powerless: You feel a growing sense of pessimism about the future of the friendship.
Outgrowing the friendship: You start to feel pressured to act inauthentically as you’ve grown and developed as a person.

Journaling Prompts to Help You Audit Your Inner Circle

To figure out who deserves a prime spot in your emotional VIP section, try these journaling prompts:

1. When was the last time I left a friend feeling genuinely energised? Who was I with?

What made me feel so good? Was it the conversation, the activities, or just the vibe?
Did I feel seen and heard, or was it more about their presence putting me at ease?
How often do I prioritise spending time with this person, and could I make more space for them in my life?

2. Which friendships feel easy, like slipping into your favourite hoodie?

What makes this friendship feel so comfortable? Is it their sense of humour, the shared history, or their non-judgmental nature?
Do I feel like I can fully be myself around them—flaws, quirks, and all?
How do I contribute to the ease of this friendship? Do I show up with the same openness and care?

3. Is there anyone I avoid texting back because it feels exhausting?

What specifically about this relationship drains me—are they overly negative, needy, or dismissive of my feelings?
Do I feel like this friendship is one-sided, or that I’m giving more than I get?
What emotions come up when I think about spending time with this person—anxiety, guilt, resentment?
If I were to set a boundary with this person, what might that look like, and how would it feel?

4. Who shows up when I’m struggling—not just when I’m fun?

When I’ve been at my lowest, who has offered meaningful support? (Think: a listening ear, practical help, or simply being present.)
How do I feel when I reach out to this person—safe, validated, or afraid to be vulnerable?
What are the small but significant ways this person makes me feel cared for? (e.g., “They text me good luck before my big meeting,” “They remember my coffee order”)
Have I expressed gratitude for their support? If not, how can I show them that they matter to me?

5. What do my closest friendships say about me? How do I show up as a friend?

Are my friendships a reflection of who I am now—or who I used to be?
Do these relationships align with my values and goals, or are they tied to an old version of myself?
Am I someone who listens, celebrates others’ successes, and provides support without needing anything in return?
What’s one thing I can do this week to strengthen a friendship I value?

These prompts give you the opportunity to not only assess your friendships but also to actionably improve your friendships.

Write it all down, no filter. You might be surprised at what comes up (and who doesn’t).

The Lean-In List: Your Support Squad

Once you’ve done the journaling, create a “Lean-In List” of friends who genuinely lift you up. These are the people to text first when you’re spiralling steadily into depression. think of your Lean-In List as your dream team—your emotional Avengers, the people you can count on when life feels more like Endgame than a casual Tuesday.

How to Build Your Lean-In List

Creating this list isn’t about ranking your friends. It’s about intentionally identifying the relationships that truly nourish you—and that you want to nurture in return. Who’s shown up for you when life was messy?

Focus on Reciprocity: Relationships are meant to be a two-way street. Lean-In List members aren’t just great for you—you’re great for them, too. Think of friendships where support flows both ways. This isn’t about quantity. A Lean-In List with two solid names can be more powerful than a phonebook of acquaintances.

How to Use Your Lean-In List

A Lean-In List is only as good as the effort you put into it. Here’s how to make it your burnout-fighting secret weapon:

Reach Out Regularly: Whether it’s a quick text, a silly meme, or a standing coffee date, keep these relationships warm and thriving.
Be Honest About What You Need: Texts like “I’m feeling overwhelmed—can you talk?” aren’t burdens; they’re trust builders. The right people want to support you, not just hear about your wins.
Show Up for Them, Too: Burnout isn’t a solo sport, and chances are your Lean-In List members could use your support just as much as you need theirs.

Need more support?

That’s where the Road Map to Resilience: From Burnout to Breakthrough, my online course, comes in.

In less than 2 hours a day, twice a day, for two days, you will learn:

How to get a fully restorative, refreshing and rejuvenating night’s sleep, night after night, so that you will stop feeling exhausted, have all the energy you need to get through the day, stop on the way home to shop for healthier food and even get some exercise two or three times a week.
How you can use three highly effective science-based resilience rituals that can help you to rewire your brain so that you’ll be able to cope more effectively with whatever challenges come your way, without getting irritated or frustrated because you are too tired to concentrate.
How to incorporate these rituals in a short, simple, time-saving tried-and-tested morning and evening routine that can help you burnout-proof your life once and for all, increase your resilience and safeguard your mental and physical health every time you go through a life transition.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss.

By the end of the course, you won’t just have a Lean-In List—you’ll have the confidence, tools, and energy to lean on it, too.

Your Lean-In List is more than just a list; it’s your safety net, it’s your lifeline during burnout. When you take the time to nurture those connections—and yourself—getting from burnout to breakthrough doesn’t just feel possible. It feels inevitable.

Final Thoughts: Know When to Let Go

It’s okay to outgrow friendships. Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and that’s not a failure—it’s growth. The Friendship Self-Audit isn’t about cutting people off left and right; it’s about creating space for relationships that nourish you.

There are several healthy ways to distance yourself from a toxic friend:

Gradually reduce contact: Slowly decrease your interactions and availability, responding less frequently to messages and declining invitations politely.
Set clear boundaries: Limit your interactions and communicate your need for space if you feel safe doing so.
Focus on other relationships: Deepen existing healthy friendships and engage in new activities to meet like-minded people.
Mute or unfollow on social media: Prevent anxiety-provoking notifications by muting their messages and unfollowing them on social platforms.
Keep conversations neutral: When interacting, discuss only neutral topics, keep answers brief, and avoid confiding in them.
Prioritise self-care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being and emotional health.
Seek support: Confide in trustworthy friends or family members about your decision to distance yourself.
Be consistent: Once you’ve started distancing yourself, maintain your stance to avoid falling back into the toxic friendship.
Practice forgiveness: For your own emotional health, work on forgiving the toxic friend, which can help you move on.
Reflect on the friendship: Take time to evaluate how the relationship affects you and recognize its negative impact on your life.

It’s okay to prioritise your well-being and happiness when dealing with toxic friendships, especially during life transitions.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

07/12/202413/02/2025

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 18

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Friends as Chosen Family

The holidays can highlight the importance of family, but for some, traditional family relationships may feel strained or distant. This is where friends can become your chosen family—a group of people who truly see, accept, and support you.

Take a moment to appreciate the friends who’ve stepped into that role in your life. These relationships are a testament to the idea that family isn’t always about blood—it’s about love, loyalty, and shared experiences.

Journaling Prompt: Which of your friends feels like family to you? How can you show them your appreciation this holiday season?

Action Step: Reach out to a “chosen family” friend today and let them know how much they mean to you.

Interactive Comment: Cherish your chosen family? Comment with “Friends are family!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract (cert,) Transformational Life Coach (dip,) Life Story Coach (cert) Counselling (cert,) Med Hypnotherapy (dip) and EAGALA (cert)

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Professional Stress-Slayer guiding others to live a purpose-powered, low-stress life, on the Camino de Santiago in the sunblessed south of France. ⇓

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06/12/202413/02/2025

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 19

Giving Without Expectations

The holidays remind us of the joy of giving, but sometimes, we hesitate to give in friendships because we’re afraid it won’t be reciprocated. However, true generosity in friendships isn’t about keeping score; it’s about showing care and love because you want to.

A small act of kindness—a thoughtful message, a shared memory, or a surprise gesture—can brighten someone’s day in ways you might not even realize. Giving without expecting anything in return strengthens bonds and brings warmth to both you and your friend.

Journaling Prompt: What’s a small, thoughtful gesture you could do for a friend this week? How might it make them feel?

Action Step: Do one kind thing for a friend today. It could be sharing a funny memory, sending them a cheerful note, or surprising them with something they love.

Interactive Comment: Ready to give from the heart? Comment with “Giving is my gift!”

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

05/12/202405/12/2024

The Courageous Entrepreneur: How to Face Challenges Head-On

Explore the mindset shifts that empower entrepreneurs to confront obstacles with confidence.

Definition of Entrepreneurial Courage

If you are thinking about leaving the corporate world and starting a profitable business, you are going to need wheelbarrows full of courage. Ask me, I should know. I have been running my Camino de Santiago walking retreat business for more than a decade, and I am now adding online courses to my portfolio. You may be thinking “But what exactly IS entrepreneurial courage?”

Entrepreneurial courage is the physical, mental, and spiritual strength to face the inherent fears, uncertainties, and challenges that come with entrepreneurship, all while staying true to your core values. It means showing up with confidence and determination, even when the path ahead is unclear or intimidating.

In practical terms, entrepreneurial courage is about:

Taking risks: Investing time, money, and energy into ideas without guaranteed success.
Making bold decisions: Saying no to opportunities that don’t align with your vision, or pivoting your business in a new direction when needed.
Honouring your values: Building a business that reflects your principles, even when it might be easier to follow trends or compromise for short-term gains.
Facing fears: Overcoming impostor syndrome, addressing conflicts, or stepping into public roles like networking or speaking engagements, especially challenging for introverted business owners.
Persevering through setbacks: Learning from failures, adapting to challenges, and continuing to move forward when the going gets tough.

Entrepreneurial courage is not the absence of fear but the choice to move forward despite it, driven by a belief in your purpose and the value you bring to others. It’s about staying resilient in the face of uncertainty.

Everyday Acts of Courage

Saying “sorry” when you’ve made a mistake.
Being authentically yourself, even if it means standing out.
Taking responsibility for your actions and their consequences.
Setting and pursuing challenging personal or professional goals.
Saying “no” to requests that don’t align with your values or priorities.
Forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply.
Helping others, even when you’re struggling yourself.
Choosing to be kind and compassionate, even in difficult situations.
Practicing gratitude, especially during challenging times.
Actively listening to others, especially those with different perspectives.

Different Types of Courage

Physical Courage: This is the most traditional form of courage, characterized by the willingness to face bodily harm or death. It involves acting despite fear in situations where physical danger is present, such as confronting an attacker or participating in extreme sports.
- A firefighter entering a burning building to rescue trapped occupants.
- A person learning to skydive despite their fear of heights.
- A cancer patient undergoing painful treatments to fight the disease.
Social Courage entails the ability to face social risks, such as embarrassment, rejection, or exclusion. This type of courage is crucial for leadership and involves being true to oneself in challenging social situations.
- Speaking up in a meeting to present an unpopular but necessary idea.
- Asking someone out on a date, risking rejection.
- Standing up to a bully at school or in the workplace.
Moral Courage is about standing up for one’s beliefs and values, especially when doing so may lead to personal loss or disapproval from others. It involves making ethical decisions and acting in accordance with one’s principles, even under pressure.
- A whistleblower exposing corporate wrongdoing, risking their career.
- Refusing to participate in unethical business practices, even if it means losing a job.
- Intervening when witnessing discrimination or harassment in public.
Emotional Courage: This type of courage allows individuals to experience a full range of emotions, including vulnerability and fear. Emotional courage is essential for personal growth and happiness, as it encourages openness to both positive and negative feelings.
- Opening up to a therapist about past traumas.
- Expressing vulnerability and sharing feelings with a partner.
- Confronting a family member about a long-standing issue.
Intellectual Courage involves the willingness to engage with new ideas, challenge one’s own beliefs, and accept the possibility of being wrong. It requires an open mind and a readiness to learn from mistakes.
- Engaging in respectful debates with people who hold opposing views.
- Admitting when you’re wrong and changing your stance based on new information.
- Pursuing education in a field completely different from your current expertise.
Spiritual Courage helps you confront profound questions about faith, purpose, and existence. It supports the pursuit of meaning in life, whether through religious beliefs or philosophical inquiry.
- Questioning long-held beliefs and exploring new spiritual paths.
- Sharing your faith or lack thereof in environments where it might be unpopular.
- Making difficult life choices based on your spiritual convictions.

The Types of Courage You Need to Start a Business

Starting a business requires different types of courage, each playing a crucial role in the success of your business:

Social Courage: It is essential for entrepreneurs to be themselves unapologetically to stand out in the business world. For example, it involves speaking up to present your ideas and asking for support or investment despite the risk of rejection.
Moral Courage: Entrepreneurs often face ethical dilemmas and must have the strength to do what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular. This could involve refusing to participate in unethical business practices, even if it means losing potential profits or partnerships.
Emotional Courage: Starting a business is an emotional rollercoaster. Entrepreneurs need to accept and process both positive and negative emotions without guilt or attachment. This includes opening up about challenges and expressing vulnerability when seeking advice or support.
Intellectual Courage: The business world is constantly evolving, requiring entrepreneurs to learn, unlearn, and relearn with an open and flexible mind. This involves admitting when you’re wrong and changing your stance based on new information.
Physical Courage: While not always involving bodily risk, physical courage in entrepreneurship means persevering through long hours, stress, and potential health impacts to keep the business going.
Spiritual Courage: This involves living with purpose and meaning, approaching business decisions with a heart-centered approach. It’s about questioning long-held beliefs and making difficult choices based on your convictions.

Entrepreneurs must be willing to take risks without any guarantee of success. As I mentioned in the definition, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s acknowledging fear and moving ahead anyway, knowing that along the way, you’ll be able to master the necessary skills to achieve your goals.

Strategies to Develop Entrepreneurial Courage

Generating the courage to take risks in your business is a crucial aspect of entrepreneurial success.

Start small: Begin by taking calculated, smaller risks to build your confidence gradually. As you experience success with these smaller risks, you’ll feel more comfortable tackling larger ones.
Understand that not all risks can be predicted or controlled. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and navigate through uncertain situations, as this can lead to innovative solutions and growth opportunities.
Analyse mistakes, identify areas for improvement, and adjust your strategies accordingly. View failures as valuable learning experiences that refine your risk-taking abilities.
Cultivate emotional resilience: Work on bouncing back from setbacks and maintaining a positive outlook through challenges.
Seek support: Prepare your employees, partners, and investors for potential difficulties. Having a strong support system can make it easier to face risks.
Focus on your vision: Remember your ultimate goals and the reasons you started your business. This can provide motivation and courage when facing risks.
Continuously educate yourself: Stay informed about your industry, market trends, and best practices. The more knowledge you have, the more confident you’ll feel in taking calculated risks.
Adopt a growth mindset: A growth mindset is an entrepreneur’s secret weapon: it helps you to raise the courage needed to face challenges, take risks, and persist in your venture.
- Entrepreneurs with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities for learning and development rather than insurmountable obstacles. This perspective enables you to approach difficult situations with determination.
- A growth mindset helps you see failures as temporary setbacks and learning experiences rather than permanent defeats. This resilience allows you to bounce back from failures and continue pursuing your goals with renewed courage.
- Those with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. This belief encourages entrepreneurs to put in the necessary effort to improve their skills and knowledge, boosting their confidence and courage to take on new challenges.
- Entrepreneurs with a growth mindset are more likely to view feedback and criticism constructively, using it to improve their strategies and approaches. This openness to learning enhances your ability to adapt and innovate courageously.
- Rather than feeling threatened by others’ achievements, those with a growth mindset are inspired by their competition. This perspective encourages you to courageously pursue your goals and aspirations.
- Persistence in the face of uncertainty: A growth mindset provides entrepreneurs with the courage to persist in uncertain and challenging environments.

By cultivating a growth mindset, you can develop the psychological capital necessary to face the risks and uncertainties inherent in entrepreneurship. This mindset enables you to approach challenges with courage, learn from failures, and continuously adapt and improve, ultimately contributing to your success and satisfaction in your entrepreneurial journey.

Lesser-known Courageous Female Entrepreneurs who have made a Significant Impact

If you need some inspiration:

C.J. Walker: Born to former slaves, she became one of the first American women to become a self-made millionaire. Her line of beauty and hair products for black women was revolutionary in the early 20th century.
Reshma Saujani: Founder of Girls Who Code, Saujani identified a critical gap in the tech industry and took innovative action to change it. She has empowered over 10,000 girls to enter the male-dominated field of technology, challenging industry norms and inspiring a new generation of tech leaders.
Ursula Burns: Starting as a summer intern at Xerox, Burns rose to become the first Black woman to lead a Fortune 500 company. Her journey from an NYC housing project to CEO showcases remarkable perseverance and courage in breaking barriers in corporate leadership.
Sara Blakely: Founder of Spanx, Blakely went from being a fax machine salesperson to creating a widely successful undergarment company. Her perseverance and problem-solving skills have made her one of the most successful female entrepreneurs.
Katrina Lake: Founder of Stitch Fix, Lake became the youngest female founder to lead an IPO in 2017. She identified an opportunity in the changing retail industry and built a widely loved online personal-shopping service.
Rachel Mielke: Founder of Hillberg & Berk, Mielke stands out for her work in empowering other women. Her jewelry brand has made significant charitable contributions and maintains a predominantly female workforce.
Mary Kay Ash revolutionised the beauty industry with her innovative business model and exceptional leadership skills. She empowered women by creating job opportunities and promoting them to leadership positions.

These entrepreneurs have not only achieved remarkable success but have also paved the way for future generations of women in business, demonstrating courage in breaking barriers and creating innovative solutions in their respective industries.

By implementing the strategies I discussed above, you can gradually build the courage needed to take risks in your business, leading to greater innovation, growth, and success.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.
Paulo Coelho

References:
Kristi Bockorny, Carolyn M Youssef-Morgan, Entrepreneurs’ Courage, Psychological Capital, and Life Satisfaction Front Psychol. 2019 Apr 5;10:789 PMCID: PMC6461011 PMID: 31024410

Baron R., Franklin R., Hmieleski K. (2016). Why entrepreneurs often experience low, not high, levels of stress: the joint effects of selection and psychological capital. J. Manag. 42 742–768. 10.1177/0149206313495411

Fairlie R. (2007). “Entrepreneurship among disadvantaged groups: women, minorities and the less educated,” in The Life Cycle of Entrepreneurial Ventures, ed. Simon P. (New York, NY: Springer; ), 437–475. 10.1007/978-0-387-32313-8_15

Does it take courage to start a business?

In a world that feels increasingly unstable — politically, economically, emotionally — what will you do when the rug is pulled out from under you? That’s why I created Survive the Storm — a 7-part online course designed to be a lifeline during a life quake. This is your personal survival toolkit for uncertain times — lovingly crafted and packed with practical tools, emotional support, and soul-nourishing insights to help you stay grounded, resilient, and resourceful when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart. Enrol in How to Survive the Storm Protocol, with or without additional mentoring.

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25/11/2024

Remote Work: A Tale of Two Temperaments – Introverts and Extroverts

Is working remotely really the introvert’s dream and the extrovert’s nightmare?

With so many people, nearly three years after the pandemic still working remotely, by choice, it might seem as if the statement above might well be true. Not for me, though. I consider myself an inveterate introvert, and I spend long hours working on my own, marketing my Camino de Santiago walking retreats, but I also need regular contact with friends and family to keep me grounded.

When I met my friend Hannah for coffee at our favourite bistro, I discovered I wasn’t the only one. According to Hannah, she had always felt out of place in the office. Open-plan desks, forced conversations about last night’s Netflix binge, and the dreaded “Happy Birthday” singalongs—none of it was her scene. So, when her company announced they were offering permanent remote work, she couldn’t sign up fast enough.

No more awkward coffee breaks. No more Karen from HR asking if she had “big plans for the weekend.”

The first week was everything she’d dreamed of. She woke up to birdsong instead of her alarm, brewed her own coffee instead of suffering through whatever tar-like concoction the office kitchen offered, and basked in the absence of small talk. She didn’t even mind that she spent half the day on Zoom. Turning her camera off and pretending to listen was far easier than surviving in-person brainstorming sessions.

By week two, cracks started to show.

Hannah, much to her own surprise, missed the routine of the commute. Now, her days started in a haze of endless sameness. Bedroom to laptop. Laptop to kitchen. Kitchen to couch. And back again.

The silence, once soothing, became oppressive. She noticed how loud her apartment was: the constant hum of the fridge, the neighbour’s dog barking, and the faint screech of tyres on the street. She tried to listen to music to fill the void, but it only made her more aware of how quiet her world had become.

By the end of the third week, Hannah realised she hadn’t seen or spoken to another human being fat-to-face for days. She appreciated the presence of her cat enormously, but although he talked a lot, he wasn’t always understandable. The realisation hit hard. She started lingering on Zoom calls just to hear voices, even if they were discussing budgets or quarterly KPIs.

She thought working remotely would free her, but instead, it felt like a cage she’d willingly locked herself into.

Desperate for connection, she started visiting a local coffee shop with her laptop. The hum of conversations, the hiss of the espresso machine—it all felt oddly comforting. She didn’t talk to anyone, of course, but being around people reminded her that she was still part of the world.

Eventually, she joined a coworking space. Just a couple of days a week, enough to strike a balance. Hannah wasn’t ready to give up her solitude entirely, but she’d learned a hard truth: isolation, even for an introvert, wasn’t as blissful as she thought it would be.

By the time her first day at the coworking space ended, she felt lighter, more human. And when a stranger in a striped shirt asked if the seat next to her was taken, Hannah did something she never thought she’d do.

She smiled and said, “Go for it.”

My own experience, mirrored by Hannah’s experience, made me think. I thought about Carl Jung said about Introverts vs. Extroverts: “… introversion and extroversion are the foundation of personality, the building blocks that influence the way we live, work and interact with others. Introverts are attracted to the inner world of ideas, thoughts and emotions, while extroverts are attracted to a vibrant social life and group activities.” That much is clear. But Carl Jung also said, “”There is no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure extrovert. Such a man would be condemned to spend his life in an asylum.”

Seems to me that introversion and extroversion should be seen as a spectrum with introverts on one end, extroverts on another and ambiverts somewhere in the middle. Also, in certain situations, an introvert can respond like an extrovert, and vice versa. Sometimes, introverts need connection and extroverts need solitude.

So how does the existence of this spectrum influence our approach to working remotely?

The shift to remote and hybrid work has dramatically reshaped the professional landscape, affecting introverts and extroverts in distinctly different ways. This new work paradigm has created a unique set of challenges and opportunities for both personality types, fundamentally altering their productivity.

Introverts, who typically thrive in quiet, controlled environments, have found remote work to be a sanctuary away from the hustle and bustle of traditional office settings. The ability to work from home has provided them with a peaceful atmosphere that aligns well with their natural tendencies, allowing for increased focus and productivity. Introverts appreciate the reduced social pressure and the freedom to communicate on their own terms, whether through email, messaging apps, or scheduled video calls.

On the other hand, extroverts have faced significant challenges in adapting to remote work. The lack of in-person interaction and the absence of a dynamic office environment has left many extroverts feeling isolated and less motivated. Extroverts often draw energy from social interactions and collaborative environments, which are less readily available in a remote setting. This shift has led to decreased productivity and increased feelings of disconnection for many extroverts. Many report feeling disconnected from their teams and missing the spontaneous conversations that once punctuated their workday. As Sarah Martinez, a sales executive, shares, “I miss the energy of the office. Video calls just aren’t the same as stopping by someone’s desk for a quick chat.”

Enter the hybrid work model. Introverts may opt to work remotely more often, enjoying the solitude and ability to control their social interactions. Extroverts, in contrast, can return to the office, seeking out the face-to-face interactions and collaborative atmosphere they crave.

The transition to remote and hybrid work has also impacted communication styles. Introverts may find virtual meetings less overwhelming, as they can participate without the pressure of constant face-to-face interaction. Extroverts, however, might struggle with the limited non-verbal cues in virtual settings and the reduced opportunities for spontaneous conversations.

Balancing the benefits of remote work for introverts with the need for social interaction for extroverts has become a key challenge in creating effective and inclusive work environments.

Today, introverts are valued employees of many companies, which are looking for managers with soft skills. Published in 2013, the book Quiet (The Power of Discretion: The Power of Introverts in an Overly Talkative World), by the American Susan Cain, marks the beginning of the “silent revolution” of introverts. In this book, which remained on the US bestseller list for almost two years, she demonstrates, through surveys of psychologists, anthropologists and sociologists, the value of introverts, whose creativity fuels business, the arts and politics. Her TED talk has been viewed nearly 30 million times.

All this seemed pretty straightforward until Myers-Briggs discovered in a recent study, conducted by John Hackston, Head of Thought Leadership at The Myers-Briggs Company, that 82 per cent of extroverted workers would prefer a hybrid work model, with 15 per cent actually preferring full-time remote work. Self-described introverts, on the other hand — a whopping 74 per cent of them — said they wanted to be in the office at least part-time.

So, how does remote work impact introverts specifically? What advantages do they enjoy, and what hurdles must they overcome? And most importantly, how can they minimise the downsides to thrive in their professional and personal lives?

The Introvert’s Perspective: Opportunities

For many introverts, remote work has been a revelation. The elimination of open-office distractions and the ability to control their environment has led to increased job satisfaction. Without the constant buzz of office activity, introverts can focus on their tasks without the energy drain of constant social interaction.

For introverts, remote work offers undeniable perks.

A Distraction-Free Environment
Without the constant chatter of colleagues or the need to participate in spontaneous discussions, introverts can focus on their tasks. This environment allows for heightened productivity and creativity, as introverts excel in settings where they can work uninterrupted.
Control Over Workspace and Schedule
Being at home means having the freedom to design a workspace that feels comfortable and supportive. Introverts can customise their day to include moments of quiet reflection, aligning work rhythms with their natural energy cycles.
Reduced Pressure for Socialising
Introverts often feel drained by excessive small talk or obligatory networking events. Gone are the days of forced small talk around the water cooler. Working remotely eliminates many of these stressors, enabling them to conserve energy for what truly matters.

These advantages make remote work appealing for introverts, but they don’t tell the whole story.

The Introvert’s Perspective: Challenges

While remote work initially feels like an introvert’s dream, it can also present unique challenges. It certainly isn’t without its pitfalls for introverts. The very aspects that make it appealing can also create unexpected difficulties: without the natural boundaries of a physical office, many introverts find themselves working longer hours, struggling to disconnect from work when it’s always within reach.

Blurred Boundaries Between Work and Life
Without a clear division between the office and home, introverts may find themselves working longer hours, leading to fatigue. The sanctuary of home life can become overshadowed by work demands, disrupting the balance they need to thrive.
Limited Professional Visibility
Introverts may unintentionally fade into the background in a remote setting, missing opportunities to showcase their contributions or build relationships with colleagues and leaders. The limited face-to-face interaction can lead to decreased visibility within their organisations, potentially impacting career advancement opportunities.
Isolation and Loneliness
While introverts value solitude, they still require meaningful connections. The absence of regular face-to-face interaction can lead to emotional disconnection and feelings of being undervalued or unsupported.

These challenges can accumulate over time, leaving introverts feeling drained and even burnt out.

The Burnout Factor

One of the most overlooked risks for introverts in remote work is burnout. Paradoxically, the very environment that feels comfortable can contribute to their exhaustion. Without clear boundaries, introverts often overcompensate, working harder to ensure their contributions are recognised. Combined with a lack of social interaction, this can lead to feelings of isolation, stress, and diminished well-being. The constant need to be “on” for video calls, combined with the pressure to maintain visibility in a virtual environment, can drain introverts’ energy reserves more quickly than traditional office work.

This is where structured support can make all the difference. My course, ‘Building Resilience – a Roadmap from Burnout to Breakthrough during a Life Transition,’ is designed to help professionals— especially introverts—overcome these challenges. It offers practical tools to set boundaries, manage stress, and cultivate sustainable self-care practices. By increasing their resilience, introverts can not only prevent burnout but also thrive in their remote work environment.

Coping with the Challenges: Practical Tips for Introverts

To thrive in remote work environments, introverts can implement several key strategies:

Set Clear Work-Life Boundaries

Designate a specific workspace to create physical separation from your personal life.
Establish fixed working hours and commit to “clocking out” at the end of the day.

Schedule Regular Breaks

Regular breaks throughout the day are essential for maintaining energy levels. These breaks should be scheduled rather than left to chance, ensuring they actually happen.
Use these breaks to step outside, stretch, or take a short walk – this can help reset mental focus and prevent the fatigue that comes from extended screen time.

Stay Connected

Schedule one-on-one virtual coffee chats with colleagues to maintain a sense of camaraderie.
Participate in team meetings and contribute thoughtfully. These controlled interactions allow you to maintain visibility while managing your energy levels.

Leverage Technology

Technology can be a powerful ally in this environment.

Using productivity tools to automate routine tasks, manage notifications, and organise work can reduce mental clutter and preserve energy for more important activities.

Experiment with apps like Slack or Microsoft Teams to maintain open communication without being overwhelmed.

Prioritise Self-Care

Dedicate time to hobbies, exercise, and activities that nourish your mental health.
Explore resources to gain deeper insights into managing stress and building lasting well-being.

Conclusion: Thriving as an Introvert working (mostly) @Home

Remote work offers unique advantages for introverts, but success requires intentional strategy and self-awareness. By acknowledging both the benefits and challenges of this work style, introverts can create systems and habits that support their natural tendencies while protecting against potential pitfalls.

The key lies in leveraging introverted strengths – such as intense focus and thoughtful communication – while actively managing the risks of isolation and burnout. Resources like the Roadmap to Resilience course provide valuable support in this journey, offering structured approaches to maintaining well-being and professional effectiveness in a remote environment.

As the workplace continues to evolve, introverts have a unique opportunity to thrive in ways that weren’t always possible in traditional office settings. By embracing their natural tendencies while staying mindful of potential challenges, introverts can create a sustainable and rewarding remote work experience that supports both their professional growth and personal well-being.

Dr Margaretha Montagu – MBChB, MRCGP, NLP Master Pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert

In addition to the transformational retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of online courses, ex. The Purpose Protocols – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive notification of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Ready for a Radical Renaissance? Quiz.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, prevent or recover from burnout, AND create a positive impact on others. Find out more

Five Key Takeaways for the Relentlessly Driven

Reaching Your Breaking Point

Amanda’s Story: Success’ Bitter After-Taste

The Neuroscience of What’s Actually Happening Inside You

The Ripple Effect: How Your Stress Shapes Your World

Your Action-Oriented Writing Prompt: The Stress Inventory and Strategic Response

Further Reading: Five Unexpected Books for the Relentlessly Driven

From the Field: Voices of Transformation

Five Razor-Sharp FAQs

Conclusion: The Health Risk You Cannot Afford to Ignore

An Invitation to The Camino Crossroads Retreat

Three Micro-Recovery Stress Relief Techniques

The Neuroscience of Walking Meditation

The Questions Nobody Asks Until They Stop

Why Walking Recalibrates Us

Your Next Right Step

The Truth About Boundaries: Your Questions Answered

The Great Unravelling

Sam’s Story: The Boundary Breakthrough

Five Key Takeaways

1. Boundaries Are Not Walls, They’re Bridges

2. The Guilt Is a GPS, Not a Stop Sign

3. Start Small, Think Big

4. Boundaries Require Maintenance

5. The Right People Will Respect Your Boundaries

Write It Out

Additional Exercises for Boundary Building

Five Frequently Asked Questions

The Conclusion: Your Transition, Your Rules

The Short and Sharp Summary

Isn’t it Time to Start Living in Alignment with Who You Are Now?

Why Join the Radical Renaissance Revolution?

1. You are struggling with a Major Life Change/Event/Transition

2. You Are Experiencing a Midlife Awakening

3. You Are Ready to Reinvent Yourself

4. You Seek Deeper, More Meaningful Connections

5. You Need a North Star for Your Next Chapter

6. You Want to Leave a Legacy That Matters

7. You Need a New Source of Drive and Motivation

The Question Is Not “Why Join?”— It’s “Why Wait?”

The Radical Renaissance Revolution Step-by-Step

Are you ready to join the Radical Renaissance Revolution?

The: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Friends and Friendships

Thank you so much!

How Toxic Friendships Make Burnout Worse

.The Big Question: Who’s Got Your Back?

Burnout Busters vs. the Burnout Boosters

Spotting the Burnout Boosters

Journaling Prompts to Help You Audit Your Inner Circle

The Lean-In List: Your Support Squad

How to Build Your Lean-In List

How to Use Your Lean-In List

Need more support?

Final Thoughts: Know When to Let Go

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Friends and Friendships

Thank you so much!

retreatssouthoffrance

Friends and Friendships

Thank you so much!

Explore the mindset shifts that empower entrepreneurs to confront obstacles with confidence.

Definition of Entrepreneurial Courage

Everyday Acts of Courage

Different Types of Courage

The Types of Courage You Need to Start a Business

Strategies to Develop Entrepreneurial Courage

Lesser-known Courageous Female Entrepreneurs who have made a Significant Impact

Is working remotely really the introvert’s dream and the extrovert’s nightmare?

So how does the existence of this spectrum influence our approach to working remotely?

The Introvert’s Perspective: Opportunities

The Introvert’s Perspective: Challenges

The Burnout Factor

Coping with the Challenges: Practical Tips for Introverts

Conclusion: Thriving as an Introvert working (mostly) @Home