12 of the Most Important Life Lessons

What I learned from going through one Life Transition after another

I might have mentioned (about a hundred times so far) that I have been through more life transitions than I care to count. Looking back, I decided to review what I have learned from going through major life change after major life change, and sometimes several at the same time. I’ve learned a few important life lessons that have shaped who I am today. Some of these lessons came easily, while others I had to repeat a few times before I got it, but each one has made a dramatic difference in how I approach life now.

I have learned to:

1. Accept Myself As I Am

I’ve learned to stop striving for perfection and to compassionately accept myself exactly as I am – once I figured out exactly who I was. That took a while. I recently took a personality test and discovered that I am an introvert. Once I knew this, a lot of things started to make sense, that didn’t before. I no longer feel the need to prove anything to anyone. For example, I used to worry about every little flaw, every little mistake, whether it was how I looked or how others perceived my choices. Now, if I choose to skip wearing makeup or take a day off to rest, I don’t feel the need to justify it to anyone. True confidence comes from within.

2. Prioritise My Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Health

Taking care of my physical and mental health has become essential. I have had to do this since my 20s (sometimes with more success than other times) but as I got older, if has become more and more essential to my continued wellbeing. I understand now how important it is to listen to what my body needs and to provide it with everything it needs – food, exercise, rest – to enable it to function optimally. While running my Camino de Santiago Hiking Adventures, I have also discovered how crucial it is to keep my batteries fully charged. I cannot host transformational retreats with my batteries half-flat.

3. Value My Relationships

I’ve learned which relationships truly matter to me, and I’m no longer afraid to get rid of toxic ones that don’t. I now only invest in friendships based on equal contributions from both sides. A few years ago, I realised I was holding on to certain friendships out of obligation. One relationship was particularly exhausting. Eventually, I let go of it, and that space has allowed me to invest more time in friendships that truly uplift me. At this stage, I focus on quality, not quantity, when it comes to the people in my life.

4. Pay Attention to the Importance of Financial Independence

Financial security has become another priority for me. I’ve learned how to manage my money wisely and invest in my future, knowing that independence offers me freedom and peace of mind. I learned this the hard way in my 50s when I realised I hadn’t been saving enough. I decided to take control of my finances, cutting unnecessary expenses, and learning more about saving. Now, I feel empowered knowing that I’m slowly but surely building a solid financial foundation for my future.

5. Set Clear Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

I’ in the process of mastered the art of saying no when I need to. Yes, indeed. I’m still not quite there yet. My time and energy are valuable, and I’ve learned to be more selective about where I spend them. I used to say yes to every request, whether it was a family gathering, a work favour, or helping a friend move house. It left me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Now, I’m much more comfortable setting boundaries, like turning down social invitations when I need time for myself or declining extra work when it interferes with my well-being. I no longer feel guilty about protecting and replenishing my energy stores as required.

6. Treat Time as Precious

I now understand that time is the most valuable (and finite) resource I have. Not money. Not achievements. Not possessions. I cherish moments with my loved ones (especially my horses), prioritise meaningful experiences, and focus on living with purpose, rather than chasing material gain. When I look back, I sometimes regret how much time I spent worrying about things that ultimately didn’t matter, didn’t make a difference and were soon forgotten anyway. Except for hay. I never feel richer than when I have stocked enough hay for the horses to last me the whole winter.

7. Let Go of What I Can’t Control

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is how to surrender to the things I can’t control. This has been a very hard lesson to learn. Very easy to unlearn, so I find myself learning it again and again. I used to try to fix everything—whether it was family dynamics, workplace tensions, or trying to change someone’s behaviour. For example, I once spent years trying to help a friend with his ongoing issues, only to realise he still wasn’t ready to change. Now, I focus on what I can control: my own reactions, my boundaries, and where I spend my precious energy. As an introvert, this is no simple undertaking.

8. Adapt

Life is unpredictable, and I’ve learned early on to adapt to and harmonise with whatever comes my way. When I was in my early 40s, I unexpectedly had to change careers due to a health scare. At first, it was daunting, but I took it as an opportunity to pursue something more aligned with my interests, my love for horses. I’ve learned that while change can be uncomfortable, it’s also a chance to grow and discover new strengths. The most challenging thing for me to do is to wait. My current life transition is in its 4th year. Four years can feel like a long time unless you have learned how to wait actively, as I finally have.

9. Live Authentically

At this point, I’m no longer concerned with living up to other people’s expectations. I’m focused on living in alignment with my true self, pursuing what brings me happiness, regardless of what others may think. For much of my life, I did what I thought I “should” do—whether it was choosing a certain career or keeping up appearances. Now, I make decisions based on what makes me happy. For example, I downsized and moved to a smaller property to live a quieter life, despite people questioning whether it was the right move. It was the best decision for me, and I’ve never been happier.

10. Cultivate Gratitude

Instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I appreciate the abundance I have in my life. I’ve learned to see challenges as opportunities for growth and to be thankful for the lessons they bring. I used to get caught up in what I didn’t have — often material things I thought I needed. Now, I take time each day to reflect on what I’m grateful for, like my health, my close-knit group of friends, my horses and the simple pleasures of life. This shift in mindset has brought me more peace and contentment than I ever imagined.

11. Fiercely Deny That It’s Too Late

As I got older, I discovered that there was no deadline for pursuing my dreams. For example, in my early 50s, I started singing again, something I’d always wanted to do but never made time for. I started singing in choirs, and now I’ve even given a couple of solo concerts. Whether I want to learn a new skill, change careers (again! and why not?), or embark on a new adventure, I know that age is just a number and that it’s never too late.

12. Let Go of Regrets

“Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien” as Edith Piaf sings so soulfully. Carrying regrets just weighs me down, so I’ve made peace with my past. There were times when I dwelled on decisions I wished I’d made differently, like staying in a job longer than I should have or not speaking up for myself in certain situations. But now, I dropped those regrets. I view my past mistakes as lessons that have helped me grow into the person I am today, and I’m moving forward with less emotional baggage. It feels incredibly liberating.

Has reading this post inspired you to reflect on the Life Lessons you have learned so far?

The journal prompt below invites you to connect your current understanding to an earlier experience, to help you discover what you have learned.

“If I could sit down with my younger self at a pivotal moment in my life, during a life transition, what advice would I give, and how does that reflect the life lessons I’ve learned?”

• Think back to a specific moment when you faced a big decision, challenge, or change. Picture your younger self at that time, feeling uncertain or overwhelmed. Now, with the benefit of your current wisdom and experience, what would you say to guide or reassure them?
• As you write, reflect on how your perspective has changed since then. What do you now understand that you didn’t back then? Consider the lessons you’ve learned about resilience, self-worth, relationships, or even how to navigate life’s unexpected twists and turns. How might this advice have changed your choices or mindset at that time?
• Finally, explore how giving this advice to your younger self reveals the most important life lessons you’ve gathered along the way. This exercise can help you articulate not only how much you’ve grown but also what values or insights you carry with you now.

I can rarely resist a journaling prompt, so as I reflect on the advice I would give to my younger self, it becomes clear just how much I’ve grown and the many valuable lessons I’ve gathered along the way. Life has taught me resilience, the importance of self-acceptance, and the power of letting go of what no longer serves me. Each challenge and turning point has shaped me into the person I am today, and I now approach life with more patience, gratitude, and authenticity.

Every experience—both the triumphs and the setbacks—has contributed to my personal growth. While I may not be able to change the past, I can absorb the lessons it has offered and use them to move forward with a deeper sense of purpose.

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” Alvin Toffler