“Choose to Make a Total Life Change before a Total Life Change becomes inevitable.” Dr Margaretha Montagu
Does it feel as if your job, your relationships, maybe even your entire life has lost its spark? As if you’re stuck on repeat while everyone else is out there living a highlight reel? Maybe you’re exhausted by the day-to-day grind, or perhaps you’re yearning for something more meaningful but don’t know where to start. You’re not imagining it, you know. That nagging feeling that something’s got to give—it’s real. You probably won’t believe it, but you’re not the only one standing at this crossroads.
As someone who has had to initiate several total changes in my own life and helped countless clients find clarity and purpose with my often life-changing books, workshops, retreats, and courses, I know exactly how daunting it can be to take that first step. But with the right guidance, meaningful change not only becomes possible—it ends up being inevitable.
Whether it’s a career that’s lost its sparkle or a relationship fizzling out, initiating significant change can feel overwhelming. Perhaps you’ve outgrown your current role, feel burned out from the daily grind, or are grappling with a sense of stagnation. These feelings often arise from a misalignment between our day-to-day lives and our deeper values or aspirations. The good news is that the first steps don’t have to be a grand, dramatic departure. It just needs to get you off the couch and into motion. If you’re ready to shake things up, here’s how to start putting one foot in front of the other:
Is it Time to Start a New Chapter?
1. Start by Clarifying What’s Not Working
Before you can initiate change, it’s essential to get crystal clear on what’s causing your dissatisfaction. Maybe you feel uninspired in your job, but is it the nature of the work, the environment, your colleagues or the lack of growth opportunities that bothers you most? In relationships, is it communication issues, unmet needs, or perhaps you are growing apart?
Journaling or discussing these feelings with a trusted friend can help you gain the clarity you need to understand what specifically needs to change. The more specific you are, the easier it will be to take targeted action.
2. Listen to Your Inner Voice
We all have an inner compass—an intuition that often knows what we truly want before our conscious mind catches up. But we often ignore or suppress it due to self-doubt, or fear of what the future may bring. One way to tune into that voice is by asking yourself: If I weren’t afraid, what would I change in my life right now?
Your intuition will guide you toward what feels right. It might push you toward a new career, inspire you to relocate, or give you the courage to end an unfulfilling relationship. Pay attention, trust, and begin taking small steps in that direction.
3. Adopt a Growth Mindset
To make lasting change, you need to believe that it’s possible. Many people feel trapped by limiting beliefs such as, “I’m too old to change careers,” or “I don’t have the skills to start something new.” But adopting a growth mindset can help you break free from these mental barriers.
A growth mindset encourages you to see challenges as opportunities for learning and development rather than as insurmountable obstacles. You don’t have to know everything right now—trust that you can learn and grow along the way.
4. Take Small, Actionable Steps
Significant life changes don’t happen overnight. Start by breaking your larger goal into smaller, manageable steps. If you’re unhappy at work, your first action might be updating your resume or scheduling a networking call. If it’s a relationship, maybe your first step is an honest conversation with your partner about how you feel.
For example, I once worked with someone who felt stuck in a corporate job. Her first step wasn’t quitting outright; instead, she spent a few weeks exploring her interests through side projects, which eventually led to a career change.
The key here is momentum. Direction is more important than speed. Small, consistent actions accumulate and can eventually lead to a total life change.
5. Cultivate a Support Network
You don’t have to go through life transitions alone. Building a support network is essential. This might include friends, family members, colleagues, support groups (on- and off-line), a mentor, or a therapist who can offer encouragement and guidance as you make changes.
One option to consider is joining a retreat where you can connect with others going through similar transitions. My walking retreats along the Camino de Santiago de Compostela in the southwest of France are designed to create that kind of supportive environment, helping you reflect, process and plan in a nurturing setting. As one of my past retreat participants said, ‘After years of feeling stuck in my career, the tools I gained through this retreat finally gave me the courage to pivot and start my own business.’
6. Accept Discomfort as an Essential Part of the Process
Change is rarely comfortable. Fear of the unknown, the discomfort of stepping outside your comfort zone, and worries about potential problems and eventual failure can all create resistance. But these feelings are normal. In fact, discomfort is often part of the growth process.
Instead of letting discomfort stop you, lean into it. Recognise that it’s a sign you’re pushing past your limitations, and with each small step forward, the discomfort becomes more manageable.
7. Seek Guidance and Structure
If you find yourself struggling to make progress or feeling unsure about the path forward, don’t hesitate to seek guidance. Having a clear roadmap can make all the difference. That’s where my Define Your Life Purpose to Facilitate a Life Change course comes in. This course is designed to help you cut through the noise, get clear on your values, and chart a practical, purpose-driven path forward. With structured exercises and expert guidance, you’ll walk away with the clarity and confidence to take action.
Whether you’re looking for a career overhaul, a relationship shift, or personal or professional growth, this course offers the structure and tools you need to initiate meaningful, lasting change.
8. Explore Your Interests
Sometimes, discontent arises because we’re not connected to what is important to us or we’re not doing what lights us up. A good exercise here is to reconnect with activities, hobbies, or interests that bring you joy. What have you always wanted to do but put off due to work, family, or other obligations?
If you can integrate more of your interests into your daily life—whether as a hobby or, eventually, as a career—it can ignite your enthusiasm to make a change.
9. Establish Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
Many people feel stuck or overwhelmed in life because they lack boundaries—both with themselves and others. You may be saying “yes” to too many obligations, stretching yourself thin, or allowing others’ expectations to dictate your life choices. Establishing healthy boundaries is key to regaining control over your time and energy.
Start by identifying where in your life you need to set firmer boundaries, whether that’s at work, in relationships, or with your own time. This will free up mental and emotional space to focus on the changes you want to make.
10. Practice Mindfulness
Finally, making a total life change requires ongoing self-awareness. Regularly checking in with yourself can help you stay grounded and connected to your goals. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, journaling, or even mindful walks in nature, allow you to process your emotions, tune into your inner voice, and course-correct as needed.
For those interested in combining personal growth with mindfulness, my Mindfulness Meditation with Horses retreats offer a unique opportunity to cultivate awareness and clarity through interaction with horses—a powerful way to reflect on your life’s direction. If you are looking for a career change involving horses, my Learn How to Teach Mindfulness Meditation with Horses course or retreat might come in handy.
FAQs
1. How do I start making a total life change?
Starting a significant life change begins with clarity. Identify what’s not working in your current situation—whether it’s a job, relationship, or lifestyle. Once you understand the source of your dissatisfaction, take small, manageable steps toward change. Remember, significant shifts don’t happen overnight, but consistent action leads to long-term results.
2. What if I’m scared to make a big change in my life?
Feeling fear is completely normal when considering a major life change. The key is to acknowledge the fear without letting it paralyse you. Start by taking small steps that move you closer to your goal, and surround yourself with a supportive network.
3. How can I overcome the limiting belief that it’s too late to make a change?
It’s never too late to make a change, no matter your age or circumstances. Adopting a growth mindset can help you see challenges as opportunities for development. My Define Your Life Purpose to Facilitate a Life Change course helps you discover what your purpose at this stage of your life is, making it possible to break free from limiting beliefs and take empowered steps forward. You are never too old and it is never too late to make a life change.
4. How do I know if I need to make a significant life change?
Feelings of persistent dissatisfaction, lack of purpose, or burnout can be signs that a change is necessary. If you’re constantly feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or like you’re going through the motions without joy or excitement, it’s a strong indicator that some area of your life may need a significant shift.
5. Can a walking retreat really help me find clarity during life transitions?
Yes! Retreats offer a supportive, distraction-free environment that makes reflection and getting clarity easier. Walking the Camino de Santiago in the southwest of France, in your own time and at your own pace, provides the perfect setting for you to pause, gain perspective, and create a clear plan for starting a new chapter in your life.
Ready to Take the First Step Towards a Total Life Change?
If you’re feeling the urge to make a total life change, I invite you to take the first step and explore one of my retreats, books or courses designed to help you navigate life transitions with confidence. Whether you need help defining your life purpose or building resilience through change, my programs provide the structure and support to guide you toward the life you truly want.
Why not join me on a Camino de Santiago walking retreat in the southwest of France? It’s an ideal setting to reflect, recharge, and begin the process of transformation in a supportive and inspiring environment.
By combining these 10 steps with intentional reflection and support, you’ll be well on your way to creating meaningful and lasting change in your life. Feel free to reach out for guidance—I’d love to help you on your journey!
©Dr Margaretha Montagu Certified Life Coach