The Hardworking Achiever’s Resilience Toolkit

24 Simple Practices for Building Resilience

Introduction

Resilience is basically the difference between people who get knocked down and stay down versus those who dust their resilience toolkit off, get back up and keep going.

Think about it – we all know someone who seems to fall apart at every setback. They’re constantly in crisis mode, always needing to be rescued, and honestly? It’s exhausting for everyone around them. Then there are people who face the same kinds of problems but somehow stay steady. They might struggle, but they don’t completely unravel.

The resilient ones make better decisions when things get tough because they’re not panicking. They’re the friends you actually want to call during your own crisis because they won’t make it about themselves. They’re more willing to take risks because they know they can handle it if things don’t work out.

All that stress from constantly feeling overwhelmed actually makes you sick. Your immune system takes a hit, your heart suffers, you age faster. Resilient people literally live longer and healthier lives.

But maybe the most important thing is this: resilient people don’t just bounce back to where they were before. They often come out stronger, smarter, more (self)compassionate. They turn their worst experiences into lessons that help them and others.

Building resilience isn’t about becoming some unfeeling robot. It’s about staying in the driver’s seat of your own life, even when the road gets bumpy. Because the road will get bumpy – that’s guaranteed.

So how can you add more tools to your resilience toolkit?

I have listed 24 practices below.

Like me, you may already know the first 12 practices. I only include them for the sake of thoroughness. It’s the next 12 that you might find original, controversial, unrealistic and/or terrifying.

Let’s start with the first 12 – all well-known science-backed practices that can make you more resilient:

1. Deep Breathing Activates the parasympathetic nervous system to reduce stress hormones. Try the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Use this before a difficult conversation or when feeling overwhelmed.

2. Regular Exercise Increases BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) and endorphins, improving mood regulation. Even a 10-minute walk during lunch can boost your ability to handle afternoon stressors.

3. Gratitude Practice Rewires the brain to notice positive aspects, increasing optimism. Write down three specific things you’re grateful for each morning, like “my coffee was perfectly warm” rather than just “coffee.”

4. Social Connection Strong relationships buffer against stress and provide emotional support. Schedule a weekly phone call with a friend or join a community group related to your interests.

5. Adequate Sleep Helps consolidate emotional memories and restore cognitive function. Create a consistent bedtime routine: no screens 30 minutes before sleep and keep your bedroom cool and dark.

6. Mindfulness Meditation Strengthens the prefrontal cortex and reduces amygdala reactivity. Practice 5 minutes daily of simply observing your breath without trying to change it.

7. Problem-Solving Focus Shifts attention from rumination to actionable solutions. When facing a challenge, ask “What’s one small step I can take today?” rather than dwelling on how overwhelming it feels.

8. Flexible Thinking Helps reframe situations and find alternative perspectives. If stuck in traffic, reframe it as unexpected quiet time to listen to a podcast rather than lost time.

9. Purpose and Meaning Provides motivation to persist through difficulties. Volunteer for a cause you care about or connect your daily work to how it helps others.

10. Emotional Regulation Learning to pause between stimulus and response reduces impulsive reactions. Use the “STOP” technique: Stop, Take a breath, Observe your feelings, Proceed mindfully.

11. Self-Compassion Treats yourself with kindness during setbacks, reducing self-criticism that amplifies stress. Speak to yourself as you would a good friend: “This is hard, and it’s okay that I’m struggling.”

12. Progressive Muscle Relaxation Releases physical tension that accumulates during stress. Tense and release each muscle group for 5 seconds, starting with your toes and working up to your face, especially helpful before bed.

There you are. I think I have written one or more articles about each of the practices on the list above.

Now, let’s look at 12 less well-known (and certainly not all science-backed) practices that can make you more resilient:

1. Cold Exposure Deliberate cold stress (cold showers, ice baths) increases noradrenaline and builds stress tolerance. Start with 30 seconds of cold water at the end of your shower – the discomfort trains your nervous system to stay calm under pressure.

2. Micro-Dosing Stress Intentionally seeking small, manageable stressors builds antifragility. Take a different route to work, try a challenging puzzle, or have one difficult conversation per week to expand your comfort zone.

3. Constructive Pessimism Pre-visualizing potential failures reduces anxiety and improves preparation (stoic “premeditatio malorum”). Before a presentation, spend 5 minutes imagining what could go wrong and how you’d handle it.

4. Strategic Rumination Scheduled worry time (15 minutes daily) contains anxious thoughts rather than suppressing them. Set a timer and worry intensely about your problems, then redirect to action when time’s up.

5. Beneficial Stress Reframing Viewing stress as enhancing rather than debilitating actually improves performance and health outcomes. Before a stressful event, tell yourself “my body is preparing me to perform well” instead of trying to calm down.

6. Micro-Failures Practice Deliberately failing at small things builds failure tolerance. Order something you’ve never tried, attempt a skill you’re bad at, or ask for something expecting “no” – normalize the experience of things not working out.

7. Contrarian Thinking Regularly challenging your own beliefs strengthens mental flexibility. Once weekly, argue the opposite side of something you believe strongly – this builds cognitive resilience against dogmatic thinking.

8. Productive Anger Channeling anger into action rather than suppressing it can fuel positive change. When frustrated by injustice, immediately identify one concrete action you can take rather than just venting.

9. Identity Diversification Developing multiple self-concepts prevents devastating blows to self-worth. If you’re “the smart one,” also become “the helpful one” and “the curious one” – losing one identity won’t destroy your entire sense of self.

10. Memento Mori Practice Regular contemplation of mortality increases appreciation and reduces trivial concerns. Spend 2 minutes weekly imagining this is your last year – what would actually matter?

11. Controlled Vulnerability Strategically sharing struggles builds deeper connections and reduces shame. Tell one trusted person about a current challenge you’re facing – the support often outweighs the risk.

12. Anti-Comfort Challenges Regularly doing things that are uncomfortable but harmless builds distress tolerance. Sleep on the floor once monthly, skip a meal occasionally, or sit in silence for an hour – train yourself to be okay with discomfort.

How can you fit these practices into your life?

The trick is to weave these into stuff you’re already doing rather than adding a whole bunch of new tasks to your day. Nobody has time for that, and frankly, most people are already burned out trying to do everything at once.

Start ridiculously small. Like, embarrassingly small. Pick one practice and do the tiniest version possible. Cold exposure? Just turn the water cold for the last 10 seconds of your shower. Micro-failures? Ask for a discount at one place where you’d never normally ask. That’s it.

Stack it onto existing habits. While you’re brushing your teeth, do that memento mori thing – just think “what if this was my last year?” While you’re stuck in traffic, practice that stress reframing. When you’re already scrolling your phone, write down what went wrong today (strategic rumination) instead of just doom-scrolling.

Make it stupidly easy to start. Don’t plan some elaborate cold plunge routine. Just keep your shower handle ready to flip to cold. Don’t schedule hour-long worry sessions. Set a 5-minute timer on your phone labelled “worry time.”

Batch the uncomfortable stuff. Pick one day a week to do your “anti-comfort challenge.” Monday could be your day to sleep on the floor, try a food you hate, or have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding.

Use dead time. Commuting, waiting in lines, walking between meetings – perfect for contrarian thinking or productive anger channelling. Instead of just being bored or frustrated, use that time to argue with your own beliefs or figure out what action your anger is pointing you toward.

Make failure the point. The beauty of these practices is that “failing” at them is actually succeeding. Couldn’t handle the full cold shower? Great, you practised discomfort. Your micro-failure attempt actually succeeded? Cool, now you know you can handle unexpected wins too.

Track just one thing. Don’t try to monitor all twelve practices. Pick the one that feels most important and just put a check mark on your calendar when you do it. Seeing a streak builds momentum.

The real secret? Most of these happen in your head anyway. Changing how you think about stress doesn’t require any extra time – just extra awareness.

What if building resilience could feel more like an adventure than hard work?

All these practices we’ve been talking about? They work even better when you’re walking an ancient pilgrim path through the beautiful countryside of southwest France. There’s something about the combination of gentle physical challenge, stunning landscapes, and being part of a small group of fellow travellers that makes personal growth feel natural rather than forced.

My Camino de Santiago walking retreats are designed for people who want to strengthen their resilience while actually enjoying themselves. No rigid schedules or overwhelming programs – just meaningful conversations, daily walks through villages and vineyards, and plenty of space to discover what works for you.

The Camino has been teaching people about resilience for over a thousand years. Maybe you’d like to make some of that wisdom your own.

If you’re drawn to the idea of combining personal growth with the timeless rhythm of walking an ancient path, I’d love to share more about our upcoming retreats in southwest France. Click here to find out more.