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Every Tuesday evening, my Manifest Your Next Chapter retreat guests and I go to a local bistro to support the still-flagging local economy, post-Covid. Most of the options on the menu include duck, in some form or another, but the most popular choice invariably is a HAMBURGER, done à point.

I have often heard, “How do I order a Hamburger in France?”

Really? A hamburger?

You may be surprised to hear that the humble hamburger is so popular in Gascony – a region renowned for its stunning Atlantic coastline, charming villages, and delectable Cuisine Gascon – but this part of France has always been a melting pot of culinary influences. The region has always embraced a variety of flavours and ingredients. The hamburger, adaptable and versatile, fits perfectly into this environment.

In recent years, there has been a global trend towards gourmet burgers, and culinary innovative Gascony is no exception. High-quality ingredients, artisanal buns, and creative toppings have elevated the humble hamburger to gourmet status. Local chefs have embraced this trend, offering gourmet burgers that appeal to both locals and visitors. These burgers often feature regional specialities such as truffle mayonnaise, caramelized onions, and even foie gras.

Our brilliant chefs have even invented a Burger Gascon, which consists of a magret de canard with a slab of foie gras on top smothered in a sweet fig sauce (confit de figue.)

So how do I advise my guests to order a hamburger here in southwest France?

Firstly, I explain they need to drop the “H,” and ask for a AMBURGER. It usually comes with frites (fries) but you may want to make sure, and add “avec frites.” Next, you will be asked how you want the meat done. Do not make the mistake of thinking that all hamburger patties will, by definition, be well-cooked. No so. Unless you specifically specify “bien cuit”, or even “très bien cuit, s’il vous plait”, you end up with a nearly raw, definitely bleeding hamburger, done “saignant.” Opt for “à point,” if you want something in between.

Next, you choose ze cheese and ze sauce. A slice of local cheese is always a good choice, or maybe a mushroom sauce. Cèpes ? Yes, great, get yourself some of our favourite mushrooms in your sauce. Raw egg? Uhm, no, rather not. Their very best made-fresh-today mayonnaise? Bon d’accord, you might well want to try that.

The good news is that many of the younger generation speak quite a bit of English these days, so as long as you keep your questions simple and speak slowly, how to order a hamburger in France should be fairly straightforward. Or you can use an app to translate the menu for you, and even to communicate directly with your friendly – this is the Gascony, not Paris, we mostly welcome tourists here – rugby-playing waiter.

One thing that hasn’t changed though, is the fact that Gascons tend to shun soft drinks, and prefer, in addition to the tap water/eau plate already on the table, a bottle of wine, a Cotes de Gascogne – a dry, white or a fruity rosé or even a feisty Madiran. The easiest is to opt for a “quart” (250ml) or a “demi” (500ml) carafe of vin de table/du pays.

When you’re ready to leave, ask for the bill by saying, “L’addition, s’il vous plaît.” You may pay at the table or be shown your table number and be directed towards the counter. Tipping is not obligatory in France, but it is appreciated. Leaving a few euros or rounding up the bill is a much appreciated gesture. At our local bistros, prices vary from 11-15 euros, including toppings and frites. Adding foie gras will double the price. Most of our local bistros make their own patties with high-quality mince meat, bought from local farmers, that tastes quite different from those of the fast-food outlets. Most restaurants around here now specify exactly where they buy their meat.

The dining culture in Gascony is laid-back and casual, especially during the long, warm summers. Hamburgers blend seamlessly with the region’s rich culinary traditions and vibrant lifestyle. Whether it’s the influence of tourism, the allure of gourmet ingredients, or the casual dining culture, burgers have become a beloved part of the southwest of France’s food scene. So, next time you find yourself in this picturesque region, don’t be surprised to find a delicious, locally-inspired hamburger on the menu. Now you know how to order a hamburger in France, so all that’s left is to wish you Bon appétit!

In addition to the Manifest A New Life Chapter retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of Complementary online Courses. One is about Determining your Life purpose as you start your Next Chapter, another about Avoiding Burnout as you go through a Major Life Challenge and yet another about Coping with Life Changes by Journaling – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive advance warning of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Manifest a Stress-free Life e-course.

I want to start this email by thanking all those wonderful people who have written to me after my last email: I can’t tell you how heartwarming it was to receive your encouraging responses. The consensus was: “You do You.”

I was standing in the cue in the pharmacy, five people in front of me. The young woman at the desk was chatting to the pharmacist about the recent retreat she attended on the Ile de Ré. Knowing that this was going to take some time, my mind wandered…to my own retreats.

What does “You do You” mean to me? Again and again, I come back to what I believe I’m best at: helping women through difficult life transitions like career changes, divorce, relocation, menopause, empty nest syndrome, loss of a spouse/friend(incl 4-legged ones) or family member, retirement, starting a business, getting used to living alone, facing health issues etc. I have been through many life changes and learned a bit more about coping with the stress generated each time.

“Change can be exhilarating, intimidating, overwhelming, challenging, or liberating, depending on your perspective. Changing your perspective can positively influence your ability to cope with change, whether voluntary or involuntary.” Dr Margaretha Montagu

I have weathered many changes over the years – I am coming to the end of another life transition now – using one or more of my (ever-evolving) stress-dissolving strategies:

• Spending time in Nature, preferably while walking – the Camino de Santiago is easily accessible from here, but sitting in my courtyard watching the sun come up with a cup of coffee to hand is pure bliss too.
• Spending time with my horses, even watching them chomp away at their hay makes me happy. What makes me happiest, is when they help my guests master stress-eradicating coping strategies.
• Reading – I am unashamedly addicted to historical murder mysteries in English, French or, on occasion, Dutch.
• Writing – I am a devoted daily gratitude journaler, a member of 2 writing groups and I am a productive writer of articles, stories (mostly about dragons,) courses and books.
• Giving my time to a charity – the one I spend most time supporting has irresistible side benefits – it sells vintage clothes, shoes, books and bric-a-brac.
• Looking after myself mentally, physically and spiritually. I have managed to slow the progression of my eye disease by eating healthily and sticking to intermittent fasting for nearly 5 years now.
• Spending time with my friends, good food, good wine, good company and all that – but what I especially love is sharing my house, my little farm, and Gascony, the awesome region where I am blessed to live, with them.

I wondered if it would be possible to combine the strategies I use to get through life transitions/changes into one all-inclusive retreat?

I host a selection of retreats, each based on one/two of my carefully curated stress-busting strategies :

• The Camino de Santiago de Compostela Walking Retreats, feating Walking and Writing Meditation
• The Detox Your Body Detox Your Mind with Intermittent Fasting Retreats featuring the Slimming Daisies
• The Booklovers Binge Reading Retreats (including the Christmas Jolabokaflod Retreat) and the Write Your Story Writers-in-Residence Retreats based on my Write Your Way to Serenity online course.
• The Mindfulness and Meditation with Horses Retreats featuring Equine-facilitated Mindfulness and Equine-guided Meditation

Could I combine all 5 of these retreats into one all-inclusive retreat? Spreading the word about each individual retreat is hard work – it would be much simpler if I only have one retreat to advertise.

And what about my online courses/retreats? Could I use one or more of my courses during this one-of-a-kind monster retreat?

• Hoofbeats to Your Heart’s Calling: Finding Your Life Purpose Guided by Horses
• The Write Your Way to Serenity: A Guided Journaling Retreat Inspired by Horses
• Horses Mending Broken Hearts: A Guided Journey to Finding Closure after the Loss of a Horse
• The Burnout to Breakthrough Online Retreat (not horse-inspired)
• The Mindfulness and Meditation with Horses Teacher Training Course

And my books, all French-flavoured and co-written by my Friesian and Falabella horses, how could they fit into the all-inclusive retreat scheme?

• Embracing Change in 10 Minutes a Day: Simple Strategies, Smart Suggestions and Insight-giving Stories (Fabriqué en France Book 3)
• Mindfulness and Meditation Options: Featuring Equine-guided Mindfulness Meditation (Fabriqué en France Book 2)
• Self-Confidence Made Simple: The 7 Secrets of Supreme Self-Esteem for Women who want to live fulfilling, purposeful and prosperous Lives (Fabriqué en France Book 1)
• How To Make Your Next Retreat Your Best Retreat Ever (Fabriqué en France Book 4)

Everything I have created in the last decade was inspired and induced by a life transition, so theoretically, everything could be used to enrich my monster retreat.

But!

But, but, but…

What I want for my retreat guests, more than anything else, is time to relax, rest and recharge their batteries, in their own good time, at their own pace, while they benefit fully from connecting with my Friesians and Falabellas and reconnecting with Nature in one of the most beautiful parts of the world.

Also, I want this retreat to be structured in such a way that my guests will want to come back year after year for their reconnect-and-reset fix, to spend one blissful week in an as-familiar-as-a-favourite-winter-cardigan sanctuary, lightyears away from the overwhelming demands of their personal and professional lives.

Not asking much, am I?

So what do you think? Is it practically possible, without having to make the retreat 4 weeks long?

If you would like to follow my journey and help me manifest my new retreat, just click on the button below and leave your e-mail address. To help you get into the habit of manifestation journalling too, I have created a free 7-part online course., the Manifest a Stressfree Life e-course. You can also download my free 10 Top Tips to Make Your Next Retreat the Best Ever Checklist.

By clicking above, I agree to receive emails from MargarethaMontagu.com. I understand that all emails contain an unsubscribe link and that I can opt out at any time.

Having experimented with the Law of Attraction and having been thoroughly disillusioned more than a decade ago, I have had little time for the idea ever since.

Recently, a friend mentioned Human Design, and knowing nothing about it, I decided to look it up. According to this classification, I am a Reflector, not a Manifestor, which made me smile, and take the classification a bit more seriously, than I otherwise would have, as a scientist, because its effectiveness has not been confirmed by peer-reviewed research.

Ten years ago, I started a gratitude journal, and over the years, I became convinced of its powerful stress-reducing properties. Looking back, I realised that I also used it to set short, medium and long-term goals, and I wondered if that might have functioned as a manifestation activity. Could manifestation, in its simplest form, be nothing more than the brain’s Reticular Activation System (RAS) at work?

The RAS takes the information that we are constantly bombarded by from external sources, filters out the unnecessary and unimportant, and organises what is left into meaningful patterns. For example, saying an affirmation like “I am blessed” to yourself will trigger the Reticular Activating System, prompting it to notice any external validation for this affirmation.

In a similar way, keeping a manifestation journal can trigger the RAS to notice opportunities that will enable you to realise your dreams. Writing down your dreams helps clarify your intentions and focus your energy on working towards what you truly want. It allows you to track your progress over time, noting the steps you’ve taken and the milestones you’ve reached, which reinforces your commitment and motivation. Documenting your successes, no matter how small, also provides positive reinforcement.

I now more purposefully add my goals to my gratitude journal, to benefit from the support of my RAS.

The journaling prompts below can significantly increase the effectiveness of your manifestation journal by triggering your RAS:

• What is my ultimate goal and why is it important to me?
• What steps can I take this week to move closer to my goal?
• How will achieving my goal positively impact my life and the lives of others?
• What resources and support do I need to manifest my goal, and how can I access them?
• Who are the people that inspire me and how can I learn from their journeys?
• How can I celebrate my progress, no matter how small, on the path to my goal?
• What does my ideal day look like in vivid detail?
• How will achieving my current goal change my life for the better?
• What qualities do I most admire in others and wish to cultivate in myself?
• What/who am I most grateful for in my life right now?
• How do I envision my life five years from now?
• What obstacles do I currently face, and how can I overcome them?
• What positive affirmations can I use to empower my daily intentions?
• What acts of kindness can I perform to improve my and others’ well-being?
• What are my core values, and how do they guide my life’s choices?
• If fear was not a factor, what would I pursue immediately?
• What habits can I develop to bring me closer to my dreams?
• In what ways can I positively impact my community?
• What does success truly mean to me?
• What are the most significant lessons I’ve learned this year?
• How can I make my daily routine more aligned with my goals?
• What limiting beliefs do I need to let go of to move forward?
• How can I turn a recent challenge into an opportunity for growth?

To help you get into the habit of manifestation journalling, I have created a free 7-part online course. Just click on the button below and leave your e-mail address to start my Manifest a Stressfree Life e-course and download my 10 Top Tips to Make Your Next Retreat the Best Ever Checklist right away.

By clicking above, I agree to receive emails from MargarethaMontagu.com. I understand that all emails contain an unsubscribe link and that I can opt out at any time.

in the foothills of the Pyrenées Mountains

A retreat should be a refuge: somewhere you can escape to, a place where you feel safe, seen and heard.

I mentioned that I run old-fashioned retreats that first and foremost offer my guests a safe haven where they can thoroughly relax, rest and fully recharge their batteries.

But what is a safe haven?

My definition of a safe haven is my grandmother’s kitchen. In the blink of an eye, I can imagine myself back there, sitting at the rough kitchen table, my feet dangling in the air as my legs are too short to reach the floor. The whole room is saturated with the smell of baking bread, and my mouth is watering in anticipation of the thick slice of steaming hot bread, drenched in homemade butter, that my grandmother will soon put in front of me. While I wait, my legs swinging back and forth impatiently, I stare in fascination at the huge variety of herbs drying on hooks on the 300-year-old oak beams, humming absentmindedly along with Maurice Chevalier on the radio, as he sings about bicycling down the deserted country roads. Finally, my grandmother gets up from the table where she has been shelling peas from her potager, to check the bread. I hold my breath, is it ready yet?

For my guests, I have tried to create a similar experience here on my little farm, in deepest rural France. The setting is an ancient half-timbered farmhouse, renovated as authentically as possible, rustic but comfortable, surrounded by woods, sunflower fields, vineyards and lush meadows, where my horses are grazing peacefully. The breeze here carries the perfume of a thousand wildflowers, and birds serenade my visitors from dawn to dusk, through the night even, if you count in the wooing owl couple. Talking about the night, here you can lie in a sunlounger, -or should that be a moonlounger? – and breathlessly take in the millions of stars that fill the night sky, as there is barely any light pollution here.

Here you can sleep for hours, and most of my guests do. They often sleep 10-12 hours on the first night, some sleep 10 hours every single night they are at Esprit Meraki, which means, loosely translated from the Greek, « made with love. »

A safe haven, a refuge, created with love.

Uninterrupted sleep, safeguarded from the sudden nerve-wracking blast of an alarm clock, just when you are sleeping at your deepest can do wonders for your general wellbeing. I usually suggest that my guests switch their phones to airplane mode and sleep until they wake up naturally, whether it’s 10, 11 or 12 o’clock. Many of my guests haven’t dared to do that for years.

Soon, feeling safe and supported, my guests break free from the suffocating stress that threatens their physical and mental health – it dissolves like the morning mist at sunrise. Breathing sparkling fresh air brings a healthy flush to everyone’s cheeks and simple rituals like strolling up to the potager to pick some sun-warmed tomatoes for the evening’s salad – and eating as many straight again straight off the plants – become a pilgrimage back to a simpler, slower, stress-free way of living, a lifestyle wholeheartedly indulged in here in the unspoilt and largely unexplored southwest of France.

I feel it is crucially important that retreat guests have enough time, at the beginning of a retreat, to leave their troubles behind and disconnect from their often demanding personal and professional lives, before the retreat program starts in earnest. If they want to spend the whole time they are here reading a book in the shade of the gnarled-with-age lime trees, sipping fruit juice or homemade herbal tea, and listening to the horses grazing peacefully close by, that is fine too.

Finding a safe place to rest and recharge your batteries can be transformative too.

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. – John Lubbock

Emergency Burnout Assistance

I host old-fashioned retreats.

An old-fashioned retreat is one with a rustic charm reminiscent of a bygone era, where guests can escape the modern world’s fast pace and engage in traditional activities like nature walks, storytelling, journaling, bread-making etc. Meals are homemade from scratch using traditional recipes and locally sourced ingredients. The retreat emphasizes slow, simple living, while being present in the moment, combined with plenty of outdoor activities like hiking, wild swimming, forest bathing or stargazing to connect guests with the natural world.

Like Leonardo da Vinci, I believe that “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

These days, most retreats are bright, sparkling jewels in exclusive, exotic settings, often with a price tag to match. Nearly all retreats promise some or other sort of personal growth transformation, either emotional healing, spiritual awakening, increased physical fitness, stress reduction, relationship enhancement, leadership development, improved communication skills etc.

Groups are huge, ten to thirty people per retreat, and the retreat programs are busy. Accommodation is luxurious, meals are cooked by chefs hired for the purpose, catering for every possible diet, swag bags compete fervently for originality, excursions are plentiful, and additional options are varied.

My retreats are none of these things.

My retreats are like a soft, woollen, well-worn cardigan that you snuggle into every winter, that you wear year after year, just because it feels so wonderful against your skin, keeps you warm and carries so many happy memories. Just slipping it onto your shoulders makes you feel less stressed, it’s the first thing you reach for when you get home after a long day’s work.

Working as a medical doctor taught me that stress is either the cause or a contributory factor to a large number of dangerous physical and mental diseases, so during my retreats, I make sure my guests have ample time just to be…and breathe.

This has remained the primary focus of my retreats for more than a decade: to let my guests rest, relax, recharge their batteries, and…

Reconnect with Nature.

“I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” – Anne Frank

Reconnecting with Nature is a powerful stress management strategy. Spending time in Nature can lower your cortisol levels and increase your serotonin levels, making you feel calmer and more content. It can also help you to sleep better, boost your immunity, your creativity (your problem-solving skills), and improve your cognitive function (including your memory.)

During an Esprit Meraki retreat, here is the sun-blessed and largely unspoilt southwest of France, you will have the opportunity to reconnect to Nature, guided by a small herd of Friesians and Falabella horses. Horses thrive in a natural environment, and spending time with horses enables us to immerse ourselves in Nature, surrounded by the sights, sounds, and smells of the outdoors, helping us feel more grounded and present in the moment, allowing us to let go of distractions and fully engage with our surroundings.

Year after year, my retreat “regulars” return to get their “nature fix” with bags full of carrots, for the horses, who recognize and welcome them with soft whinnies as they rush to the paddock the moment they arrive at Esprit Meraki.

Maybe it’s time to escape the hustle and bustle of daily life, immerse yourself in the serenity of nature and to find solace in its breathtaking beauty? To nourish your mind, body, and soul at an Esprit Meraki Retreat?

Because simplicity is not about deprivation. It’s about a greater appreciation for things that really matter.

Replies to this post:

I was so happy to receive your newsletter.As I read it, I thought, “Yes! A soft, woollen, well-worn cardigan!” It seems to me, too, that we need more of this in life.

Personally, I am turned off by the brighter, fancier, shinier “retreats” on offer. It is not what I’m looking for and somehow seems to muddle the idea of “retreat” with “five-star luxury break.” The two are not the same, and, generally, it shows. In fact, many seem to be in opposition to the “slow-down connection” that many of us crave, and the high price-tags are certainly restrictive.

Fortunately, there is room for everyone in this sphere: People who want the exotic, luxurious, gourmet, entertained experience can have that; those of us who want quiet, time, space, nature, breathing and fresh food can have that.

Honestly, though, everything about your retreats looks marvellous. I haven’t been in a position to attend one yet, but I look forward to doing so. From what I read in your blogs, they offers the kind of luxury I value. Robyn

I have thought about you often since staying with you last year. I will say, I personally did not expect to find such a serene and relaxing retreat, even though it was advertised as all of those things, I expected groups of people, organised ‘fun’, queuing for bathrooms and noise at nighttime.

I experienced the opposite and more. It was a quiet retreat with just myself and the lovely Carmella, and I still think about the camino walks, your AMAZING food, our chats not to mention just enjoying the surroundings. To feel at home in a stranger’s home is testament to what a fantastic host you are and the thought you put into everything. I did not think at any point that I had paid too much for the experience.

It may be that the social-media generation we have now are looking for all of those ‘sparkly’ things you have mentioned to experience and to advertise. But authenticity is priceless, and I believe that’s what you have and what you are. I know that I would love to visit again and also do the full Camino, maybe next year. Sarah

The advantages of a Solo Retreat

I have been hosting small group Camino de Santiago hiking retreats and Meditation with Horses retreats for more than a decade, here at my house in the southwest of France. Last week, I came across this post in a group: “Would you go on a private wellness retreat?”

The response was such an overwhelming “Yes!” that I started wondering why so many people are interested in attending a retreat on their own. Would I want to attend a solo (private) retreat?

I can see the attraction of a tailor-made private retreat: escaping from the ever more urgent demands and digital overwhelm of everyday life, spending a few days on my own, focusing on my own needs, taking activities at my own pace and in my own time, with one-on-one attention from the retreat leader…the idea has a certain appeal.

My research revealed that a variety of solo (private) retreats are offered in various parts of the world. I discovered that people attend private retreats

• To prevent/recover from burnout. A solo retreat offers you the privacy to gain deeper insight into yourself, your values, and your purpose in life. Spending time alone, away from the distractions and demands of daily life can empower you to identify your strengths and weaknesses clearly and adjust your lifestyle to avoid/bounce back from burnout.
• To process overwhelm. If you feel overwhelmed by the multitude of decisions you face in your personal or professional life, a solo retreat can provide a secure environment where you can make important decisions with greater clarity and confidence.
• To deal with past traumas, grief, or emotional injury, in a safe and supportive space. Being alone enables you to confront your emotions, process difficult experiences, and begin the journey towards healing, health and wholeness.
• To reconnect with nature. Spending time alone in nature can be intensely rejuvenating and restorative, helping you to find inner peace, serenity, and rediscover your sense of awe and adventure.
• To get unstuck. During a solo retreat, you’ll have the opportunity to reflect on your past experiences, evaluate your current circumstances, and set meaningful objectives for the future.
• To escape your stifling, boring and monotonous daily routine. A private retreat allows you to explore a new location, a different culture, and alternative habits and gain a fresh perspective on your life, in your own time and at your own pace.
• To unleash your creativity (and increase your ability to solve problems.) With time to yourself, you can often reignite the spark of inspiration that may have dimmed in the hustle and bustle of daily life.
• To expand your spiritual practice. A solo retreat can enable you to commune with your innermost self and explore your relationship with the divine in a profound and meaningful way.
• To disconnect from digital overload: If you struggle with technology addiction, a solo retreat provides a much-needed break from the constant bombardment of information allowing you to reduce your stress levels, reconnect with your senses and engage fully with the present moment.

A private wellness retreat offers a break from the demands and stresses of daily life, providing you with the chance to rest, relax, and replenish your energy reserves. It can be a catalyst for personal transformation, enabling you to confront challenges, overcome obstacles, and develop new skills, habits or perspectives.

Convinced of the possible benefits of solo retreats, I have added this option to my collection of onsite retreats in the southwest of France. I now also offer the option of adding a private coaching session to my online retreats.

A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free. – Arthur Schopenhauer

©MargarethaMontagu

In addition to the Manifest A New Life Chapter retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of Complementary online Courses. One is about Determining your Life purpose as you start your Next Chapter, another about Avoiding Burnout as you go through a Major Life Challenge and yet another about Coping with Life Changes by Journaling – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive advance warning of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Newsletter which gives immediate access to my free Manifest a Stress-free Life e-course.

Don’t Fake It Until You Make It, Face It Until You Make It

In the world of personal development, the phrase “fake it until you make it” has been widely circulated as a mantra for success. It suggests that we should act confidently as if we are already successful, even if we haven’t achieved that yet what we are hoping to achieve. While this advice may offer a temporary confidence boost, it often falls short of fostering genuine growth. A more effective approach, one that encourages authentic growth and lasting resilience, is to “face it until you make it.”

Working with horses, I very quickly discovered that this suggestion was not a good idea. It provides a compelling illustration of why the “fake it until you make it” approach is ineffective and can even be potentially harmful. Horses are highly attuned to human emotions and intentions. When we interact with horses, we must communicate clearly, honestly and authentically, as any attempt to fake competence is quickly detected and interpreted.

Drop the Facade

The concept of “faking it” implies creating a facade, a superficial projection of confidence and/or competence that may not align with our actual abilities. It encourages us to suppress our insecurities, ignore our doubts, and pretend to be something we are not – yet. While this approach might lead to short-term gains, it often neglects the underlying issues that hinder progress.

Horses respond to nonverbal cues, body language, and emotional energy, rather than words alone. They can sense incongruence between what we are feeling internally and what we are projecting externally. For instance, if someone is anxious or unsure but attempts to appear confident, a horse will immediately pick up on this discrepancy. As a result, our interaction with the horses may become strained or unproductive.

Instead of masking our insecurities with a facade, “facing it” means that we confront challenges head-on, acknowledge our weaknesses, and that we actively work to overcome them. It requires you to be honest with yourself, to embrace your vulnerability, and to be willing to endure discomfort for the sake of growth. While this path may seem daunting, it ultimately leads to greater self-awareness and increased resilience.

Adopt Authenticity

When we approach horses facing any fears or uncertainties and authentically, we can establish a deeper connection with the horses. Being with horses also requires us to be present, aware, and responsive to the horse’s feedback. Faking confidence or competence may lead to ineffective communication and missed opportunities for learning more about the horses and about ourselves. Embracing your vulnerability authentically fosters trust and mutual respect between you and the horse, laying the foundation for a more meaningful partnership.

Authenticity breeds trust and credibility. When we are honest about our abilities and limitations, we earn the respect of others. This way, we can build stronger relationships, based on trust.

Increase Resilience

In addition, “facing it” cultivates resilience in the face of adversity. Rather than avoiding challenges or pretending they don’t exist, confronting obstacles head-on helps us develop the resilience needed to navigate life’s inevitable setbacks. It helps us adapt to changing circumstances, so that we can emerge stronger and more capable as a result.

I am launching a new business venture this year. My eye problems are forcing me to do less onsite retreats here in the south of France, so I’m taking as much of what is practically possible online, as horse-inspired virtual retreats. This time, instead of putting on a front of unwavering confidence, I’m acknowledging the risks and uncertainties inherent in this new endeavour, which might well be a complete disaster. I am actively seeking feedback, I’m doing my best to learn from challenges, and pivot when necessary, all while staying true to my vision and values for this new part of my business.

My horses taught me the importance of authenticity, and genuine communication at all times. “Facing it until you make it” involves self-reflection, introspection, and continuous learning. I constantly have to confront my fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs, accept my vulnerability and seek opportunities for growth, which allows me to gradually build the skills needed to achieve my goals.

Mindset Matters

“Facing it” fosters a growth mindset—the belief that abilities and skills can be developed through dedication and hard work. Rather than fixating on external validation, a growth mindset enables us to view challenges as opportunities for learning.

A “Faking it until you make it” mentality can cause imposter syndrome, the fear that we will be exposed as frauds if we don’t maintain the facade of success. This constant pressure to prove yourself can lead to burnout, and a sense of emptiness despite repeated achievements. One of my virtual retreats addresses the current Burnout Epidemic.

Summary: To truly thrive in today’s fast-paced and unpredictable world, we must embrace authenticity, vulnerability, and increase our resilience. By facing challenges head-on, acknowledging our weaknesses, and committing to continuous growth, we can cultivate the inner strength needed to navigate life’s trials and tribulations. So, rather than faking it until you make it, have the courage to face it until you make it—the journey may be challenging, but the rewards are infinitely more fulfilling.

Journal Prompts

Navigating Challenges with Courage: Empowering Journal Prompts for Authentic Growth

• Think about a time when you received feedback that was difficult to hear. Rather than dismissing or internalizing it, how can you approach this feedback with curiosity? What opportunities for learning might emerge from accepting constructive criticism?
• Consider your long-term goals and aspirations. What fears or insecurities are holding you back from pursuing these goals wholeheartedly? How can you cultivate the courage to step outside your comfort zone and pursue your dreams with authenticity and determination?
• Reflect on a recent situation where you felt the urge to “fake it” or put on a facade of confidence. What were the underlying reasons for this need? How might embracing vulnerability and authenticity have changed the outcome?

“Cultivating authenticity isn’t just about being genuine with others; it’s also about being genuine with ourselves. When we embrace vulnerability and face our fears with honesty, we forge deeper connections and achieve greater success in all aspects of life.” Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston and the author of several bestselling books, including “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “Daring Greatly.”

©MMontagu

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