Montagu Grief Map
Montagu Mentoring Aids
©MMontagu
Honouring What Was Lost, Naming What Still Matters
Grief isn’t only about losing a person—it can also be about losing routines, dreams, versions of ourselves, and the future we thought we were building. This map helps you gently name and honour what has been lost in this season of your life.
Take your time. There’s no right way to grieve. This isn’t a checklist. It’s a compassionate space for your truth.
PART 1: The Obvious Loss
What or who have you recently lost?
- Name:
- Role in your life:
- What did this person/relationship mean to you?
- What were some of your favourite memories with them?
- What do you miss most?
PART 2: The Hidden Losses
These are the subtler but equally powerful things you may be grieving. Write as much or as little as you need.
1. Lost Identity
- Who was I in this relationship (or life chapter)?
- What part of me feels undefined or missing now?
2. Lost Future
- What dreams or plans are no longer possible?
- What story was I telling myself about our future together?
3. Lost Routines & Roles
- What daily habits, shared rituals, or roles have changed?
- What used to feel “normal” that now feels gone?
4. Lost Beliefs
- Has anything I believed about love, safety, or myself been shaken?
- What assumptions or hopes have been challenged?
PART 3: What Still Remains
In the midst of this loss, you are still here. Still breathing. Still holding threads of meaning.
1. What parts of me survived this heartbreak?
- Qualities I still have (even if they feel dim):
- Strengths I can begin to reclaim:
2. What still matters to me, even now?
- People, values, or dreams I still care about:
3. If I could carry one small thing forward from this experience, it would be:
(e.g. a lesson, a boundary, a deeper truth)
PART 4: A Moment of Honour
Take a moment to reflect on your answers.
- Is there something you want to say to the person or chapter you’ve lost?
- Is there something you want to say to yourself in this moment?
You might write a letter, draw a symbol, light a candle, or simply sit quietly and breathe.
Remember:
This grief map isn’t meant to fix anything. It’s meant to give your heart a place to lay down its weight for a moment. Healing begins when your truth is witnessed—especially by you.
Share with someone else who may need it: