Tag: Valentine’s Day

Break free from external expectations and embrace your own worth this Valentine’s Day

I. Introduction

Let’s start with a confession: I once bought myself a bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day and told the cashier they were from a “secret admirer.” She winked and said, “Lucky you!” And you know what? She was right. Because here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud: Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. It’s a celebration of every kind of love that makes life worth living—including the messy, glorious, underrated art of loving yourself!

Rewriting Valentine’s Day traditions to celebrate your relationship with yourself

For decades, Valentine’s Day has been hijacked by a very specific narrative: candlelit dinners, overpriced chocolates, and grand romantic gestures that look great on Instagram but feel like emotional tax audits for the rest of us. Society has framed this day as a membership card you only get if you’re coupled up, leaving everyone else to either fake-smile through it or rage-binge on discounted chocolates on February 15th.

But what if we’ve been sold a lie?

In this post, we’re tearing up the rulebook. We’ll dissect how Valentine’s Day became a cultural guilt trip (spoiler: blame capitalism and medieval poets) and why its exclusivity is literally bad for your health.

II. The Problem with Traditional Valentine’s Day Celebrations

Let’s time-travel for a sec. The original St. Valentine was allegedly a rebel priest who married soldiers to their sweethearts in secret because the Roman Empire thought single men fought better. Romantic? Sure. Valentine’s day, as we know it today, was basically invented by 14th-century poets and 19th-century greeting card companies. Chaucer wrote flowery verses about birds choosing mates; Cadbury slapped hearts on chocolate boxes.

And here we are, pretending it’s “romantic” to drop $200 on roses that’ll die in a week while single folks scroll through TikTok feeling like they’ve failed at adulthood. The dissonance is almost comical: a celebration rooted in rebellion and love letters now reduced to a performative circus where your worth is measured by whether someone remembered to tag you in a #MineForever post.

Valentine’s Day’s exclusivity is literally bad for your health

To be brutally honest: Traditional Valentine’s Day isn’t just annoying—it can be harmful. Studies show that feeling excluded socially triggers the same neural pathways as physical pain. So when every ad, store display, and coworker’s desk screams “love = romance,” it’s not just irritating. It’s a psychological gut-punch to anyone grieving, single, divorced, or just plain over it.

And the ripple effects are everywhere. In workplaces, team morale tanks as singles dodge awkward “What are your plans?!” questions while coupled colleagues sneak out early for reservations. Creativity suffers when people are too busy feeling “less than” to contribute ideas. Even businesses lose: 53% of single consumers actively avoid Valentine’s promotions, according to a 2023 consumer report. We’re all trapped in a system that equates love with romantic validation—and it’s making us lonelier, pettier, and poorer (seriously, have you seen the markup on those chocolates?).

Transform Valentine’s Day into an opportunity for self-discovery

Here’s the twist you didn’t see coming: Our obsession with romantic-only love isn’t just a personal problem. It’s a professional liability. Think about it. Innovation thrives on diverse perspectives, right? But when workplaces (consciously or not) uphold traditions that exclude swaths of people, they’re basically putting creativity in handcuffs.

Imagine a team brainstorming session the week after Valentine’s Day. Karen from accounting, who’s freshly divorced, is too busy side-eyeing the “Happy Love Month!” banner to pitch her killer idea. Jake, who’s been single for three years, downplays his contributions because subconsciously, he’s internalized that “success” includes a plus-one. Meanwhile, management keeps hosting “date night” giveaways that 40% of the staff can’t (or don’t want to) use. It’s not just about hurt feelings—it’s about bottom lines. Companies clinging to exclusionary traditions are leaving money, talent, and innovation on the table.

It’s time to transform Valentine’s Day from a narrow, exclusionary ritual into a catalyst for radical change.

III. The Radical Act of Celebrating Yourself on Valentine’s Day

Why Self-Love Isn’t Just a Hashtag:
Let’s get one thing straight: Self-love isn’t lighting a candle and whispering affirmations to your bathroom mirror (though if that’s your jam, rock on). It’s about treating yourself with the same fierce loyalty you’d give a best friend. Think about it—when your pal gets dumped, you don’t say, “Wow, you’re unlovable. Want a sad salad?” You rally. You bring wine, trash-talk their ex, and remind them they’re a glitter-covered goddess. So why do we abandon ourselves the second society whispers, “But where’s your partner?”

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to rebel against that nonsense. This isn’t about “coping” with being single. It’s about throwing a parade for the most important relationship you’ll ever have—the one with yourself.

The Science of Solo Celebration:
Before you dismiss this as woo-woo fluff, let’s talk cold, hard facts. Research shows that people who practice self-compassion have lower anxiety, higher resilience, and better problem-solving skills. Translation: Treating yourself like a VIP isn’t just good for the soul—it makes you smarter, calmer, and more creative. Meanwhile, tying your worth to romantic validation is like building a skyscraper on Jell-O. Fun for a minute, until the whole thing collapses.

Anecdote Time:
Last year, I declared February 14th “National Me Day.” I took myself to a fancy pasta bar, scribbled a list of things I loved about myself (including “weirdly good at parallel parking” and “excellent emergency chocolate stash curator”), and binge-watched Downton Abbey (again.). By midnight, I felt like I’d won the Olympics of adulthood. Was it cheesy? Absolutely. Did it work? Surprisingly well.

IV. How to Host a Party for One (No RSVP Required)

Step 1: Ditch the “Wait for Permission” Mindset
Society loves to tell single people they’re “waiting for love.” Nah. You’re not a benchwarmer in the game of life. This Valentine’s Day, give yourself permission to celebrate—no justification needed. Want to buy yourself jewellery? Do it. Crave a solo dance party? Blast Lizzo. The rule is simple: If it sparks joy, it’s valid. Just do it.

Step 2: Start Your Own Valentine’s Day Traditions
Romantic relationships have anniversaries. Why shouldn’t your relationship with you? Start a ritual that’s 100% yours:

• Write yourself a love letter (Pro tip: Roast your flaws affectionately. “Dear Me, thanks for keeping that cactus alive despite your track record with plants. Growth!”).
• Take a “soul date”—hike, museum, patisserie crawl—where you do something that makes you feel vibrantly you.
• Host a “Galentine’s/Palentine’s” bash for fellow single friends. Theme: “Celebrating the Love We Have.”

Step 3: Weaponise Gratitude (But Make It Fun)
Gratitude journals are great, but let’s innovate. Try:

• Texting friends one reason you adore them. Watch the group chat explode with joy.
• Making a “Love CV” listing your non-romantic wins: That time you fixed the Wi-Fi, your killer banana bread recipe, how you make strangers laugh in elevators.
• Creating a “No Apologies” playlist of songs that make you feel invincible (suggestions: “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus, “I Will Survive,” and the Rocky theme, obviously).

Step 4: Redefine “Romance”
Romance isn’t reserved for couples. It’s a vibe. Light candles for your bath just because. Buy the stupidly expensive cheese. Wear that outfit that makes you feel like the main character. Love isn’t something you earn—it’s something you radiate.

V. Why This Matters

The Ripple Effect of Radical Self-Love:
When you unapologetically celebrate yourself, you do something revolutionary: You reject the idea that love is a scarce resource only some deserve. And guess what? That energy is contagious. Your divorced coworker might stop hiding her ringless finger. Your nephew might feel less pressure to “couple up” by 25. You become proof that happiness isn’t a relationship status—it’s a daily practice.

Professional Superpowers Unlocked:
Here’s the sneaky perk no one talks about: People who prioritise self-love show up differently at work. They negotiate raises more confidently, pitch wild ideas without self-sabotage, and lead with empathy because they’re not drained by insecurity. Imagine a workplace where Valentine’s Day isn’t a minefield of exclusion, but a launchpad for team-building exercises like “Shoutout Circles” or “Innovation Day” where everyone’s strengths are celebrated. That’s the culture shift we’re brewing.

Final Anecdote (With a Punchline):
Two years ago, I gifted myself a weekend writing retreat for Valentine’s Day (see below.) I ate cold pizza in bed, wrote terrible poetry, and invented a dance called “The Solo Shimmy.” When I returned to work, my boss said, “You seem… brighter.” I was. Because I’d given myself the gift so many wait for others to give them: undivided attention.

VI. Conclusion: Your Love Story Is Already Writing Itself

The Mic Drop Moment:
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a reminder of what you lack. It can be a standing ovation for what you’ve built: a life, a personality, a collection of tiny triumphs and spectacular messes that are yours. So this year, skip the forced romance and throw confetti in the face of expectations. Buy the flowers. Be your own secret admirer. And if anyone side-eyes your solo celebration, hit ’em with this truth bomb:

“The most dangerous thing a person can do is decide they’re enough—exactly as they are.”

Call to Action (With a Wink):
This February 14th, I dare you to fall recklessly, shamelessly in love… with yourself. And if you need a little help? Dig out that emergency chocolate stash. You’ve earned it.

Why not give yourself a Valentine’s gift of transformation by joining one of my Camino de Santiago walking and writing retreats this year? Imagine setting off on a journey where each step along this ancient trail is an invitation to rediscover your inner strength, while the serene landscapes inspire your writing and re-ignites your creativity. This retreat is more than a just getaway to the southwest of France—it’s a chance to reconnect with your deepest passions, explore the timeless magic of the Camino, and invest in your own well-being. Embrace the adventure, allow creativity to flow, and celebrate self-love in a way that nurtures both body and spirit.

Find out more.

“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”—Parker Palmer

Moving beyond traditional boundaries to honour all forms of connection

Introduction

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The one day a year when love is measured in overpriced floral arrangements, awkwardly extravagant priced dinners, and enough red and pink decor to make you feel like you’ve wandered into Cupid’s fever dream. If you’re single, you’re expected to either wallow in self-pity or slap on a brave face and celebrate some half-baked version of ‘Galentine’s Day’ (which, let’s be honest, still centres around the idea that you’re missing out on romantic love).

But here’s a radical thought: what if Valentine’s Day wasn’t just for couples?

That’s right. What if we reclaimed this syrupy, consumer-driven holiday and turned it into something that actually makes sense—something that celebrates love in its many forms, including the love we cultivate for ourselves, our friends, our passions, and our communities? What if we stopped letting corporate marketing dictate our emotional well-being?

In this post, we’re going to dismantle the myth of Valentine’s Day as a romantic exclusivity club, take a hard look at how it’s been hijacked by capitalism, and explore ways to redefine it in a way that actually nourishes, rather than alienates, those who aren’t in a relationship.

Buckle up, because we’re about to revolutionise February 14th.

II: The Problem with Traditional Valentine’s Day Celebrations

The Historical Context vs. Modern Realities

The origins of Valentine’s Day are a bizarre mix of Roman festivals, saintly martyrdom, and medieval courtly love. At its core, it wasn’t always about buying heart-shaped chocolates and setting sky-high expectations for one night of romance. In fact, historians believe that the earliest versions of the holiday were more about general expressions of affection, including friendships and community ties.

But then came the 20th-century marketing geniuses, who looked at this vaguely sentimental occasion and saw dollar signs. Card sellers, chocolate producers, and jewellery brands turned Valentine’s Day into a high-stakes competition where the depth of your love was directly proportional to the amount of money you spent. Fast forward to today, and the holiday has become an anxiety-inducing spectacle of forced romance, exclusion, and financial strain.

The Limitations of Exclusivity

The problem with this modern, hyper-commercialised version of Valentine’s Day is that it reinforces a toxic, narrow definition of love—one that equates happiness and fulfilment solely with romantic partnerships. This isn’t just annoying for single people; it’s harmful.

When a culture continually tells people that they are incomplete without a significant other, it fosters feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and even depression. It also alienates those who are single by choice, those who are healing from past relationships, and those who simply haven’t found someone who makes their heart do backflips.

Beyond personal well-being, this exclusionary mindset seeps into workplaces, social circles, and even creative industries. We see it in the way Valentine’s Day celebrations in offices assume that everyone has a partner, in the way restaurants prefer couples’ reservations over groups or individuals, and in the way movies and media perpetuate the idea that romantic love is the ultimate achievement.

When we prioritise only one type of relationship, we miss out on opportunities to celebrate the diverse, beautiful spectrum of human connection. And that’s a shame because some of the most fulfilling relationships in life have nothing to do with romance at all.

Here’s how we can make Valentine’s Day more inclusive and meaningful for everyone:

1. Host a “Friendship Valentine’s” gathering where people celebrate all types of meaningful relationships in their lives, not just romantic ones. This acknowledges that love exists in many forms.
2. Organise a community service event on Valentine’s Day, focusing on spreading love through acts of kindness like visiting senior centres or preparing meals for those in need.
3. Create a “Self-Love Day” at work or school where people share activities that help them practice self-care and personal growth, making the day meaningful for singles too.
4. Plan inclusive classroom activities that celebrate different family structures, ensuring children with single parents, same-sex parents, or who live with grandparents feel represented.
5. Coordinate a “Love Languages” workshop that explores how different cultures and individuals express affection, moving beyond traditional Western romantic gestures.
6. Start a “Gratitude Chain” where people write appreciation notes to anyone who’s made a positive impact in their lives – friends, mentors, neighbours, or family members.
7. Organise an intergenerational storytelling event where people from around the world share different cultural traditions and celebrations of love.
8. Create a “Wall of Love” in public spaces where people can post messages about what love means to them, encompassing all forms of love and relationships.
9. Host a skill-sharing workshop where people teach others something they love doing, shifting focus from romantic relationships to community connections.
10. Plan a “Letters of Kindness” campaign where people write encouraging notes to those who might feel especially lonely or excluded during Valentine’s season.
11. Organise an accessible community meal where dietary restrictions, cultural food preferences, and economic situations are thoughtfully considered.
12. Create Valentine’s celebrations that are sensory-friendly and accommodate different physical abilities, ensuring everyone can participate comfortably.
13. Develop multilingual Valentine’s Day materials and events, making sure language barriers don’t prevent anyone from participating in community celebrations.
14. Plan activities that are free or offer sliding-scale options to ensure economic status doesn’t prevent participation in Valentine’s Day events.
15. Create spaces for asexual people to celebrate their identities and relationships, acknowledging that romantic and sexual attraction aren’t universal experiences.

These approaches help transform Valentine’s Day from an exclusively couple-focused holiday into a broader celebration of all types of love, connection, and community.

Part III: Embracing a More Inclusive Celebration of Love

Redefining Love

Love is not a monolith. It’s not just candlelit dinners and shared Netflix passwords. Love is the deep belly laughs you share with old friends, the mentorship that changes the course of your career, and the community that shows up for you when life gets hard.

By redefining love to include self-love, friendship, mentorship, and community care, we dismantle the outdated notion that a person’s worth is tied to their romantic status. This shift is not just personally empowering—it’s professionally transformative. Every professional, regardless of relationship status, can benefit from celebrating these diverse connections. When we expand our understanding of love, we cultivate stronger relationships, improved mental health, and a greater sense of fulfilment in all aspects of life.

Valentine’s Day celebrations should be more inclusive for several important reasons:

First, the traditional focus on romantic love excludes many people’s meaningful relationships and experiences. Strong bonds with friends, family members, mentors, and community members are equally valuable forms of love that deserve celebration. By broadening our view of love, we validate these essential connections that enrich our lives.

The conventional Valentine’s narrative can also create feelings of isolation or inadequacy for single people, those who are divorced or widowed, individuals who are aromantic or asexual, and people who simply aren’t in romantic relationships. This can turn what should be a joyful celebration into a day of discomfort or sadness for many.

There’s also an important cultural dimension to consider. The commercialised Western version of Valentine’s Day, with its emphasis on specific expressions of romance (like candlelit dinners or expensive gifts), may not resonate with people from different cultural backgrounds who have their own meaningful traditions of celebrating love and connection.

Additionally, the traditional celebration often assumes certain economic privileges. Expensive dinners, gifts, and activities can create financial stress or exclude those who cannot afford to participate in these conventional expressions of love. This economic barrier shouldn’t determine someone’s ability to participate in celebrating love and connection.

The holiday also frequently centres on able-bodied, heteronormative experiences, which can marginalize LGBTQ+ individuals, people with disabilities, and others who don’t fit these narrow representations. When celebrations are designed with only one type of relationship or experience in mind, they miss opportunities to recognize and honour the beautiful diversity of human connections.

Making Valentine’s Day more inclusive isn’t about diminishing romantic love – it’s about expanding our celebration to encompass all the ways humans connect, support, and care for each other. This broader perspective creates space for everyone to feel valued and included, transforming the holiday into a true celebration of human connection in all its forms.

An inclusive Valentine’s Day has the potential to strengthen community bonds, reduce loneliness, and help people feel more connected to each other – ultimately fulfilling the true spirit of a holiday meant to celebrate love in all its forms.

Resonance with a Professional Audience

Embracing this inclusive perspective of love is not just a feel-good exercise; it’s a strategic advantage. Emotional intelligence—the ability to recognise, understand, and manage emotions—is a critical driver of innovation and leadership. Leaders who practice empathy, self-awareness, and community care create workplaces where creativity and collaboration thrive.

Think about it: a burnt-out employee who never makes time for self-care isn’t bringing their best ideas to the table. A team that lacks camaraderie and support won’t take the bold risks necessary for innovation. But when individuals nurture all facets of love—including self-respect, mutual support, and mentorship—everyone benefits. Workplace morale improves, productivity soars, and job satisfaction skyrockets.

Part IV: The Intersection of Love and Innovation in the Workplace

Emotional Intelligence as a Competitive Edge

Love and business may seem like an odd pairing, but emotional intelligence is one of the most powerful assets a professional can cultivate. The ability to form meaningful connections, navigate complex interpersonal dynamics, and foster a positive work environment is what sets great leaders apart.

“Many conversations about diversity and inclusion do not happen in the boardroom because people are embarrassed at using unfamiliar words or afraid of saying the wrong thing — yet this is the very place we need to be talking about it. The business case speaks for itself — diverse teams are more innovative and successful in going after new markets.” – Inga Beale, former CEO of Lloyd’s London

When people feel valued and supported—whether through acts of kindness, thoughtful mentorship, or a culture that prioritizes well-being—they are more engaged, motivated, and creative. Love, in all its forms, fuels innovation because it creates a sense of psychological safety. Employees who feel safe and appreciated are more willing to take creative risks and collaborate openly.

Take, for instance, companies like Patagonia, which encourages community engagement and work-life balance, resulting in a deeply loyal workforce and groundbreaking environmental initiatives.

Practical Strategies for Professionals

So how do we bring this broader definition of love into our work lives? Here are a few actionable strategies:

• Practise Self-Love: Take breaks, set boundaries, and recognise your own worth beyond professional achievements.
• Strengthen Peer Connections: Celebrate colleagues’ wins, offer mentorship, and create spaces for genuine connection at work.
• Foster a Culture of Appreciation: Acknowledge efforts, express gratitude, and create environments where people feel valued beyond their job performance.

By shifting the narrative of Valentine’s Day from one of exclusivity to one of inclusion, we not only reclaim a holiday but also build a healthier, more vibrant world—one where love in all its forms is recognized and celebrated, every single day.

Part V: Conclusion

Recap & Reinforce

We’ve explored how traditional Valentine’s Day celebrations limit us, why embracing a broader definition of love is both personally and professionally beneficial, and how this shift can create ripple effects across industries. Inclusive love is not just a personal practice—it’s a revolutionary act.

Final Inspirational Note

Celebrating all forms of love isn’t just about making yourself feel better on February 14th. It’s about changing the way we interact, work, and live. When we expand our understanding of love, we make room for deeper connections, stronger communities, and more meaningful lives.

A truly meaningful and impactful life flourishes when we embrace inclusivity as a core value, recognising that our shared humanity transcends the artificial boundaries we often create. When we actively welcome diverse perspectives, experiences, and ways of being, we not only enrich our own understanding of the world but also contribute to building a more equitable and compassionate society.

Inclusivity isn’t just about tolerance or acceptance – it’s about actively creating spaces where everyone can thrive, share their unique gifts, and feel valued for who they are. A purposeful life recognises that our individual journey gains deeper meaning when we ensure others can walk their paths with dignity and belonging.

By championing inclusivity, we acknowledge that our own fulfilment is intrinsically linked to the well-being of others, and that the strongest communities are those that celebrate and nurture their diversity. This commitment to inclusivity transforms our daily actions into stepping stones toward a more just and connected world, where every person’s story adds to the rich tapestry of human experience.