Tag: resilience

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Release Your Inner Wolf

How to Turn Stress into Your Superpower

The forest was alive with whispers. Frosted leaves crackled underfoot as the wolf padded silently through the underbrush, his silver coat blending seamlessly into the winter’s dim palette. The air hung heavy with the sharp bite of pine and the musk of damp earth. Somewhere ahead, hidden by a lattice of skeletal trees, the deer grazed.

A faint rustle—a flash of movement. The wolf froze, every muscle taut. His amber eyes gleamed as he pinpointed the source of the sound. The deer stood in a clearing, its russet coat glowing faintly under the pale wash of moonlight. Ears twitched nervously, nostrils flared, testing the air for danger. But the wolf was downwind, a ghost among the shadows.

The wolf’s stomach growled. He shifted his weight, the pads of his paws brushing the frosty ground without a whisper. A crow cawed in the distance, the sound as brittle as broken glass, and the deer flinched. Its wide eyes scanned the darkness, but it returned to feeding, lulled by the silence.

The wolf moved. Slowly at first, each step deliberate, the way water slips through cracks unnoticed. His breath puffed faintly in the chill, visible for only a moment before vanishing. The scent of the deer grew stronger, heady with the warmth of life, fueling his hunger. He could almost taste it now: the tang of blood, the salt of sweat.

Suddenly, the deer’s head snapped up. Its eyes locked onto a shadow too close, a shift too sudden. For a heartbeat, the world seemed to hold its breath.

The deer bolted.

The wolf exploded into motion. His muscles coiled and released, his claws tearing into the icy earth as he sprang forward. The forest blurred around him in streaks of grey and black as he pursued his prey, each leap closing the distance. The thunder of hooves ahead was deafening, shaking the ground beneath him, and the scent of fear thickened the air.

The deer dodged between trees, its slender legs bounding over roots and fallen branches, but the wolf was relentless. The cold wind lashed at his face, carrying the coppery tang of adrenaline. His heart hammered a wild drumbeat in rhythm with the chase. The forest seemed to roar with the sound of breaking branches, crunching snow, and the wolf’s ragged breathing.

In a desperate gambit, the deer veered sharply, its hooves skidding across a frozen stream. The wolf followed, his claws scrabbling for purchase on the slick surface, sending shards of ice skittering like glass. He stumbled but surged forward, the gap between them shrinking with every pounding stride.

The deer, its breath erupting in frantic clouds, darted left, then right, searching for sanctuary in the maze of trees. But the wolf’s focus was unbreakable, his golden eyes fixed on the trembling silhouette ahead. The forest echoed with the rhythm of pursuit—the crashing of underbrush, the slap of hooves against the icy ground, the heavy pant of hunger.

The deer faltered, its legs splaying for a heartbeat too long on a patch of frozen moss. The wolf’s muscles coiled, every ounce of strength and hunger gathering into one final, savage leap.

Two animals. Same situation. Radically different responses to stress.

The Two Faces of Stress

A threat-response dictates the deer’s behaviour—its body in full-on fight-or-flight mode, a chaotic cocktail of narrowed blood vessels, diminished brain oxygen, and sheer desperation.

The wolf is reacting to a challenge-response. Blood flows fast, taking oxygen to muscles, as his heart pounds like a war drum—not out of fear but with determination. Every cell in his body works towards his goal: securing dinner for his injured mate.

Now let’s swap the savannah for your office, your kitchen, or the freeway. Stress hits—you’re late for a meeting, your toddler’s finger-painting the walls, or your boss just dropped an urgent five-part project on your desk. Are you the deer? Or are you the wolf?

Most of us will be deer. We treat every curveball like a threat, so we immediately find ourselves trapped in survival mode. Your body doesn’t care whether it’s a tiger or a traffic jam—it reacts the same way. Your cortisol skyrockets. Your heart races. Your brain gets foggy.

Life will never stop throwing us curveballs. The commute from hell, the impossible deadlines, the unexpected emergencies—they’re coming whether you like it or not. But we do get to choose our response. Will you bolt like the deer, or will you lean in, savouring the hunt like the wolf?

It’s the narrative (the story) you attach to stress that does the damage.

Your Choices

The science is clear: when you see stress as an ally, it behaves like one. Dr. Elissa Epel, a renowned stress scientist and professor at the University of California, San Francisco, has a nuanced view of stress that challenges the common perception that all stress is bad for us. Her research has shed light on how stress affects our physical, psychological, and even our ageing processes.

One of dr. Epel’s most significant contributions to stress research involves telomeres, those protective caps at the ends of our chromosomes. Think of telomeres as the plastic tips on shoelaces that prevent fraying. In our cells, telomeres protect our DNA from damage.

Dr. Epel’s work has shown that stress can accelerate the shortening of telomeres, which is associated with cellular ageing. When telomeres get too short, cells stop dividing, leading to tissue ageing. This discovery links stress directly to the biology of ageing at a cellular level.

Here’s where dr. Epel’s view gets really interesting. She doesn’t see stress as inherently bad. Instead, she distinguishes between two types of stress responses:

  1. Threat Response: This is the negative stress we typically think of, where we feel overwhelmed and threatened.
  2. Challenge Response: This is a more positive stress response, where we feel equipped to handle the situation.

Dr. Epel’s research suggests that how we perceive stress can significantly impact its effects on our body and mind. She advocates for adopting a “challenge mindset” rather than a “threat mindset” when facing stressful situations.

Say, you’re about to give a big presentation. Instead of thinking, “I’m so nervous, I’m going to make a complete mess of this,” try telling yourself, “I’m excited, and this energy will help me get my point across and put a substantial raise within reach.” This shift in perspective can actually change your physiological response.

“So when you feel your stress response starting up — a surge of alarm, racing heart, damp palms, high energy or jitteriness — remember that the capacity to mount a stress response to a difficult situation is a strength, not a weakness.

Think of it this way. Asking for support when you are struggling is a strength; well, this is your body asking for the help it needs in that stressful moment so it can be stronger.

Your body is built to recover from stress quickly. The human nervous system can go back to baseline within minutes. You have this capacity already — you just need to get out of your own way and let your body do what it’s programmed to do.”
Elissa Epel, The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease

Cut to the Chase

Dr. Epel’s research on stress has led to several practical applications that can help us cope better with stress in our everyday lives:

  1. Reframe stress as a challenge: Instead of viewing stress as a threat, try to see it as a challenge. This shift in perspective can change your physiological response and help you perform better under pressure.
  2. Practice mindfulness: Incorporate daily mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or breathing techniques, to build stress resilience. Even 5-10 minutes a day can have significant benefits.
  3. Adopt daily routines: Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, aiming for at least 7 hours of sleep. This helps regulate your circadian rhythm and improves stress management.
  4. Exercise regularly: Engage in physical activity, which acts as a natural antidepressant and can both prevent and treat depression. High-intensity interval training (HIIT) is particularly effective for stress management.
  5. Use nature to recalibrate and recharge your batteries: Spend time in nature or even watch nature videos to reduce stress and improve well-being. This can help restore attention and produce feelings of awe.
  6. Practice emotional labelling: When experiencing stress, take a moment to notice and name your emotions. This simple act can reduce their negative impact.
  7. Distance yourself and consider different perspectives: When faced with stressful situations, try to gain some distance. Ask yourself if the situation will truly impact your life in a month or a year.
  8. Focus on purpose: Actively seek out and create moments of joy and meaning in your life, as positive emotions can build stress resilience.
  9. The Wim Hof method: Dr. Epel is studying this technique, involving rapid breathing and cold exposure, for its potential to induce positive stress and create antidepressant effects.
  10. Consider dietary interventions: Dr. Epel’s research has shown that specific dietary changes can impact our response to stress:
    • Reduce sugar intake, especially from sugary drinks. Liquid sugar has an immediate impact on the brain and can trigger compulsive eating behaviour.
    • Increase omega-3 fatty acid consumption. Dr. Epel has explored how omega-3 intake can impact stress and our response to stress.
    • Focus on nutrient-dense foods. Dr. Epel’s work suggests avoiding “junk food” during times of stress, as it can be particularly harmful when combined with chronic stress.
    • Practice mindful eating. This approach can help reduce impulsive eating and better control glucose levels.
    • Aim for a balanced diet that supports overall metabolic health. Dr. Epel’s research shows that stress impacts how we eat and how we metabolize food.
    • Consider reducing dietary fat intake. Changes in dietary fat intake were negatively correlated with changes in telomerase activity, which is associated with cellular ageing and stress

By understanding and applying dr. Epel’s discoveries and insights, we can potentially turn stress from a foe into an ally, build stress resilience, improve our overall well-being, and potentially even influence our cellular ageing processes through the impact on telomeres.

5 FAQs

  1. Q: How does Dr. Epel’s research link stress to ageing?
    A: Her research shows that women with high levels of perceived stress have telomeres shorter by the equivalent of at least a decade of additional ageing compared to women with low stress. This indicates that stress can promote earlier onset of age-related diseases.
  2. Q: What has Dr. Epel discovered about the impact of early life adversity on telomeres?
    A: Dr. Epel’s work has shown that early life adversity, including maltreatment, abuse, severe neglect, and exposure to violence, is associated with shorter telomeres, even in young children.
  3. Q: How does exercise affect the relationship between stress and telomeres, according to Dr. Epel’s research?
    A: Dr. Epel’s studies suggest that exercise can act as a buffer against the negative effects of stress on telomeres. People who maintain healthy habits like regular exercise, eating fruits and vegetables, and getting enough sleep show less telomere attrition during stressful periods.
  4. Q: What has Dr. Epel discovered about meditation and telomere length?
    A: Dr. Epel’s research found that a three-week meditation retreat had a powerful telomere-lengthening impact, particularly in individuals with higher neuroticism scores.
  5. Q: How does Dr. Epel’s work contribute to our understanding of stress resilience?
    A: Dr. Epel’s research emphasizes the importance of building stress resilience through understanding the mind, recognizing how we respond to stress mentally and biologically, and learning to work with our minds to enhance mental and physical health in response to stress.

Your Life Purpose

Dr. Epel’s discoveries have made me think. So stress doesn’t have to drain you. It can actually energise you. I found that the more you practice reframing your response, the easier it gets. You can literally train your brain to see opportunities where others see obstacles.

Her work on the importance of identifying your life purpose also caught my eye. It resonates with my idea that aligning with a meaningful life purpose can transform the way we face challenges and act as a powerful buffer against stress. Think about the last time everything went wrong—would having a vision for the future have helped you cope?

In times of overwhelming challenges, like life transitions, having a purpose becomes even more vital. Epel talks about shifting from “Why is this happening to me?” to “How can I use my gifts to contribute?” That perspective shift can be life-changing. Having a clear sense of purpose is the anchor that steadies you during storms, the spark that ignites your resilience, and the compass that guides you toward a life of fulfilment and meaning.

For most of us, it takes intention and exploration to uncover what truly drives us. That’s why I created the Rearing to Get Going in a New Direction: Finding Your Life Purpose Guided by Horses course – a dynamic, hands-on exploration that will help you gain clarity, rediscover your passions, and map out the next chapter of your life—a course inspired by the intuitive wisdom of my Friesian and Falabella horses.

Enroll in this course and start creating a life that reflects your deepest purpose and values today.

Find out more

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

References:

Elissa S Epel, Elizabeth H Blackburn, Jue Lin, Firdaus S Dhabhar, Nancy E Adler, Jason D Morrow, Richard M Cawthon Accelerated telomere shortening in response to life stress Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A 2004 Dec 7;101(49):17312-5. doi: 10.1073/pnas.040716210

Lin J, Epel E. Stress and telomere shortening: Insights from cellular mechanisms. Ageing Res Rev. 2022 Jan;73:101507. doi: 10.1016/j.arr.2021.101507. Epub 2021 Nov 1. PMID: 34736994; PMCID: PMC8920518.

Daubenmier J, Lin J, Blackburn E, Hecht FM, Kristeller J, Maninger N, Kuwata M, Bacchetti P, Havel PJ, Epel E. Changes in stress, eating, and metabolic factors are related to changes in telomerase activity in a randomized mindfulness intervention pilot study. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2012 Jul;37(7):917-28. doi: 10.1016/j.psyneuen.2011.10.008. Epub 2011 Dec 14. PMID: 22169588; PMCID: PMC3384690.

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Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 16

The: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Rekindling Old Connections

The holiday season is the perfect time to reconnect with old friends. Life transitions often pull us in different directions, but that doesn’t mean the bond is lost. Sometimes, reaching out after years apart can feel like picking up right where you left off.

Think about someone you’ve lost touch with—a friend who once meant a lot to you. What would it feel like to reconnect? You might just reignite a friendship that brings new joy and comfort.

Journaling Prompt: Who is one friend you’d like to reconnect with? What’s one thing you’d like to say to them?

Action Step: Send a message to an old friend today. It could be as simple as “I was thinking of you and hope you’re doing well.”

Interactive Comment: Ready to reach out to an old friend? Comment with “Old bonds, new beginnings!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz
– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz
– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and
– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

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Breaking Free: Recognising and Escaping Toxic Friendships

How Toxic Friendships Make Burnout Worse

Let’s face it: relationships are like plants. Some thrive with a little neglect (looking at you, cactus friendships), while others wilt the second you forget to water them. But when life hands you burnout instead of butterflies, it’s time to pause and ask: Are my friendships actually helping me grow—or are they part of the reason I’m fried?

Cue the Friendship Audit. This isn’t a breakup blueprint or a list of ways to ghost that one high-maintenance friend (even if they do make you want to throw your phone into the nearest lake). Instead, it’s about reflecting on who’s truly in your corner—and who’s just crowding your calendar.

.The Big Question: Who’s Got Your Back?

Start by taking a mental inventory of your friendships. Grab a journal, a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate, and ask yourself:

  • Which friends make me feel lighter after talking to them?

  • Who supports me without needing to be the centre of my universe?

  • Are there people I secretly dread seeing but feel guilty about letting go?

The truth is, the best friendships aren’t about constant cheerleading or toxic positivity. They’re about showing up in the mess, handing you tissues when you cry over spilled oat milk, and saying, “Burnout? Been there. Let’s order pizza and rage-watch bad reality TV.”

I have always been aware that solid friendships can significantly influence burnout, positively. I haven’t given much thought to the other side of the coin, that “friendships” can also influence burnout negatively.

Toxic friends can not only influence, but significantly exacerbate burnout, particularly during life transitions. These challenging periods already demand substantial emotional resources, making us more vulnerable to stress. These “friends” often drain our energy further by consistently making us feel bad, disrespecting boundaries, and failing to provide genuine support[.

During major life changes, when we need understanding and encouragement the most, toxic friends may instead criticise, belittle our efforts, or simply discourage us. Their negative influence can intensify feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion, which are common symptoms of burnout. Toxic friends can alienate us from other supportive relationships, leaving us without the necessary rest and emotional rejuvenation crucial for managing life changes. This combination of increased stress, lack of support, and emotional depletion can push an already exhausted person further into burnout, making the process of adapting to new life circumstances even more challenging.

Burnout Busters vs. the Burnout Boosters

Friendships should be a two-way street, not a traffic jam of unmet expectations. Here’s your cheat sheet:

Burnout Busters:
✅ Friends who listen without waiting for their turn to talk.
✅ People who respect your boundaries (and don’t guilt-trip you for skipping that 9 p.m. group hang).
✅ Cheerleaders who celebrate your wins—even the small ones like finally folding laundry.

Burnout Boosters:
🚩 The “fixers” who can’t help but give unsolicited advice.
🚩 Energy vampires who turn every convo into a therapy session for them.
🚩 Those who mock your struggles, subtly or not. (“Burnout? From what? All that Netflix?”)

Spotting the Burnout Boosters

Burnout Boosters cause:

  1. Emotional exhaustion: You feel drained or depleted after social interactions, even brief or seemingly positive ones.

  2. Decreased desire for social engagement: You are reluctant to make plans, avoid social activities, and leave messages unanswered.

  3. Overwhelm: You experience anxiety or stress when these “friends” contact you.

  4. Irritability and resentment: You become easily annoyed with these friends over minor issues or you find yourself harboring grudges.

  5. A loss of interest: You struggle to connect with these friends in a pleasurable or meaningful way.

  6. A sense of obligation: You feel guilty when saying no to these friends or you prioritise their needs over your own.

  7. Lack of enthusiasm: You no longer feel excited about spending time with these friends or find previously enjoyable activities burdensome.

  8. Avoidance behaviour: You are constantly making excuses to avoid spending time with these friends or frequently cancel plans.

  9. Mood swings: You experience irritability or quick-temperedness leading to tension in friendships.

  10. Reduced self-care: You neglect your own physical and emotional needs due to burnout.

  11. Feeling powerless: You feel a growing sense of pessimism about the future of the friendship.

  12. Outgrowing the friendship: You start to feel pressured to act inauthentically as you’ve grown and developed as a person.

Journaling Prompts to Help You Audit Your Inner Circle

To figure out who deserves a prime spot in your emotional VIP section, try these journaling prompts:

1. When was the last time I left a friend feeling genuinely energised? Who was I with?

  • What made me feel so good? Was it the conversation, the activities, or just the vibe?

  • Did I feel seen and heard, or was it more about their presence putting me at ease?

  • How often do I prioritise spending time with this person, and could I make more space for them in my life?

2. Which friendships feel easy, like slipping into your favourite hoodie?

  • What makes this friendship feel so comfortable? Is it their sense of humour, the shared history, or their non-judgmental nature?

  • Do I feel like I can fully be myself around them—flaws, quirks, and all?

  • How do I contribute to the ease of this friendship? Do I show up with the same openness and care?

3. Is there anyone I avoid texting back because it feels exhausting?

  • What specifically about this relationship drains me—are they overly negative, needy, or dismissive of my feelings?

  • Do I feel like this friendship is one-sided, or that I’m giving more than I get?

  • What emotions come up when I think about spending time with this person—anxiety, guilt, resentment?

  • If I were to set a boundary with this person, what might that look like, and how would it feel?

4. Who shows up when I’m struggling—not just when I’m fun?

  • When I’ve been at my lowest, who has offered meaningful support? (Think: a listening ear, practical help, or simply being present.)

  • How do I feel when I reach out to this person—safe, validated, or afraid to be vulnerable?

  • What are the small but significant ways this person makes me feel cared for? (e.g., “They text me good luck before my big meeting,” “They remember my coffee order”)

  • Have I expressed gratitude for their support? If not, how can I show them that they matter to me?

5. What do my closest friendships say about me? How do I show up as a friend?

  • Are my friendships a reflection of who I am now—or who I used to be?

  • Do these relationships align with my values and goals, or are they tied to an old version of myself?

  • Am I someone who listens, celebrates others’ successes, and provides support without needing anything in return?

  • What’s one thing I can do this week to strengthen a friendship I value?

These prompts give you the opportunity to not only assess your friendships but also to actionably improve your friendships.

Write it all down, no filter. You might be surprised at what comes up (and who doesn’t).

The Lean-In List: Your Support Squad

Once you’ve done the journaling, create a “Lean-In List” of friends who genuinely lift you up. These are the people to text first when you’re spiralling steadily into depression. think of your Lean-In List as your dream team—your emotional Avengers, the people you can count on when life feels more like Endgame than a casual Tuesday.

How to Build Your Lean-In List

Creating this list isn’t about ranking your friends. It’s about intentionally identifying the relationships that truly nourish you—and that you want to nurture in return. Who’s shown up for you when life was messy?

Focus on Reciprocity: Relationships are meant to be a two-way street. Lean-In List members aren’t just great for you—you’re great for them, too. Think of friendships where support flows both ways. This isn’t about quantity. A Lean-In List with two solid names can be more powerful than a phonebook of acquaintances.

How to Use Your Lean-In List

A Lean-In List is only as good as the effort you put into it. Here’s how to make it your burnout-fighting secret weapon:

  • Reach Out Regularly: Whether it’s a quick text, a silly meme, or a standing coffee date, keep these relationships warm and thriving.

  • Be Honest About What You Need: Texts like “I’m feeling overwhelmed—can you talk?” aren’t burdens; they’re trust builders. The right people want to support you, not just hear about your wins.

  • Show Up for Them, Too: Burnout isn’t a solo sport, and chances are your Lean-In List members could use your support just as much as you need theirs.

Need more support?

That’s where the Road Map to Resilience: From Burnout to Breakthrough, my online course, comes in.

In less than 2 hours a day, twice a day, for two days, you will learn:

  • How to get a fully restorative, refreshing and rejuvenating night’s sleep, night after night, so that you will stop feeling exhausted, have all the energy you need to get through the day, stop on the way home to shop for healthier food and even get some exercise two or three times a week.

  • How you can use three highly effective science-based resilience rituals that can help you to rewire your brain so that you’ll be able to cope more effectively with whatever challenges come your way, without getting irritated or frustrated because you are too tired to concentrate.

  • How to incorporate these rituals in a short, simple, time-saving tried-and-tested morning and evening routine that can help you burnout-proof your life once and for all, increase your resilience and safeguard your mental and physical health every time you go through a life transition.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss.

By the end of the course, you won’t just have a Lean-In List—you’ll have the confidence, tools, and energy to lean on it, too.

Your Lean-In List is more than just a list; it’s your safety net, it’s your lifeline during burnout. When you take the time to nurture those connections—and yourself—getting from burnout to breakthrough doesn’t just feel possible. It feels inevitable.

Final Thoughts: Know When to Let Go

It’s okay to outgrow friendships. Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and that’s not a failure—it’s growth. The Friendship Self-Audit isn’t about cutting people off left and right; it’s about creating space for relationships that nourish you.

There are several healthy ways to distance yourself from a toxic friend:

  1. Gradually reduce contact: Slowly decrease your interactions and availability, responding less frequently to messages and declining invitations politely.

  2. Set clear boundaries: Limit your interactions and communicate your need for space if you feel safe doing so.

  3. Focus on other relationships: Deepen existing healthy friendships and engage in new activities to meet like-minded people.

  4. Mute or unfollow on social media: Prevent anxiety-provoking notifications by muting their messages and unfollowing them on social platforms.

  5. Keep conversations neutral: When interacting, discuss only neutral topics, keep answers brief, and avoid confiding in them.

  6. Prioritise self-care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being and emotional health.

  7. Seek support: Confide in trustworthy friends or family members about your decision to distance yourself.

  8. Be consistent: Once you’ve started distancing yourself, maintain your stance to avoid falling back into the toxic friendship.

  9. Practice forgiveness: For your own emotional health, work on forgiving the toxic friend, which can help you move on.

  10. Reflect on the friendship: Take time to evaluate how the relationship affects you and recognize its negative impact on your life.

It’s okay to prioritise your well-being and happiness when dealing with toxic friendships, especially during life transitions.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

Posted on

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 18

Theme: Making Friends and Maintaining Friendships

Friends as Chosen Family

The holidays can highlight the importance of family, but for some, traditional family relationships may feel strained or distant. This is where friends can become your chosen family—a group of people who truly see, accept, and support you.

Take a moment to appreciate the friends who’ve stepped into that role in your life. These relationships are a testament to the idea that family isn’t always about blood—it’s about love, loyalty, and shared experiences.

Journaling Prompt: Which of your friends feels like family to you? How can you show them your appreciation this holiday season?

Action Step: Reach out to a “chosen family” friend today and let them know how much they mean to you.

Interactive Comment: Cherish your chosen family? Comment with “Friends are family!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

Discover how to build meaningful, lasting friendships and create a support system that truly has your back—delivered straight to your inbox!

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert)

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

Posted on

Christmas Countdown Calendar Day 19

Giving Without Expectations

The holidays remind us of the joy of giving, but sometimes, we hesitate to give in friendships because we’re afraid it won’t be reciprocated. However, true generosity in friendships isn’t about keeping score; it’s about showing care and love because you want to.

A small act of kindness—a thoughtful message, a shared memory, or a surprise gesture—can brighten someone’s day in ways you might not even realize. Giving without expecting anything in return strengthens bonds and brings warmth to both you and your friend.

Journaling Prompt: What’s a small, thoughtful gesture you could do for a friend this week? How might it make them feel?

Action Step: Do one kind thing for a friend today. It could be sharing a funny memory, sending them a cheerful note, or surprising them with something they love.

Interactive Comment: Ready to give from the heart? Comment with “Giving is my gift!”

Would you like to find out what type of friend YOU are? How well do you know your friends? If you and a new friend really are compatible? I have created a set of light-hearted quizzes, quotes and questions to help you do just that. Just fill in the form below and you’ll get immediate access to them all. I’ll also add you to my newsletter list, though you can unsubscribe from this list effortlessly and at any time. Included:

– How well do you know your Friends? Quiz

– What is Your Friendship Style? and Are your Friendship Styles compatible? Quiz

– 20 of the Most Inspiring Friends and Friendship Quotes and

– 20 lighthearted Questions you can ask to get to know a new Friend

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Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone facing a major life transition, needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, and prevent or recover from burnout.

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The Courageous Entrepreneur: How to Face Challenges Head-On

Explore the mindset shifts that empower entrepreneurs to confront obstacles with confidence.

Definition of Entrepreneurial Courage

If you are thinking about leaving the corporate world and starting a profitable business, you are going to need wheelbarrows full of courage. Ask me, I should know. I have been running my Camino de Santiago walking retreat business for more than a decade, and I am now adding online courses to my portfolio. You may be thinking “But what exactly IS entrepreneurial courage?”

Entrepreneurial courage is the physical, mental, and spiritual strength to face the inherent fears, uncertainties, and challenges that come with entrepreneurship, all while staying true to your core values. It means showing up with confidence and determination, even when the path ahead is unclear or intimidating.

In practical terms, entrepreneurial courage is about:

  • Taking risks: Investing time, money, and energy into ideas without guaranteed success.

  • Making bold decisions: Saying no to opportunities that don’t align with your vision, or pivoting your business in a new direction when needed.

  • Honouring your values: Building a business that reflects your principles, even when it might be easier to follow trends or compromise for short-term gains.

  • Facing fears: Overcoming impostor syndrome, addressing conflicts, or stepping into public roles like networking or speaking engagements, especially challenging for introverted business owners.

  • Persevering through setbacks: Learning from failures, adapting to challenges, and continuing to move forward when the going gets tough.

Entrepreneurial courage is not the absence of fear but the choice to move forward despite it, driven by a belief in your purpose and the value you bring to others. It’s about staying resilient in the face of uncertainty.

Everyday Acts of Courage

  1. Saying “sorry” when you’ve made a mistake.

  2. Being authentically yourself, even if it means standing out.

  3. Taking responsibility for your actions and their consequences.

  4. Setting and pursuing challenging personal or professional goals.

  5. Saying “no” to requests that don’t align with your values or priorities.

  6. Forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply.

  7. Helping others, even when you’re struggling yourself.

  8. Choosing to be kind and compassionate, even in difficult situations.

  9. Practicing gratitude, especially during challenging times.

  10. Actively listening to others, especially those with different perspectives.

Different Types of Courage

  1. Physical Courage: This is the most traditional form of courage, characterized by the willingness to face bodily harm or death. It involves acting despite fear in situations where physical danger is present, such as confronting an attacker or participating in extreme sports.

    • A firefighter entering a burning building to rescue trapped occupants.

    • A person learning to skydive despite their fear of heights.

    • A cancer patient undergoing painful treatments to fight the disease.

  2. Social Courage entails the ability to face social risks, such as embarrassment, rejection, or exclusion. This type of courage is crucial for leadership and involves being true to oneself in challenging social situations.

    • Speaking up in a meeting to present an unpopular but necessary idea.

    • Asking someone out on a date, risking rejection.

    • Standing up to a bully at school or in the workplace.

  3. Moral Courage is about standing up for one’s beliefs and values, especially when doing so may lead to personal loss or disapproval from others. It involves making ethical decisions and acting in accordance with one’s principles, even under pressure.

    • A whistleblower exposing corporate wrongdoing, risking their career.

    • Refusing to participate in unethical business practices, even if it means losing a job.

    • Intervening when witnessing discrimination or harassment in public.

  4. Emotional Courage: This type of courage allows individuals to experience a full range of emotions, including vulnerability and fear. Emotional courage is essential for personal growth and happiness, as it encourages openness to both positive and negative feelings.

    • Opening up to a therapist about past traumas.

    • Expressing vulnerability and sharing feelings with a partner.

    • Confronting a family member about a long-standing issue.

  5. Intellectual Courage involves the willingness to engage with new ideas, challenge one’s own beliefs, and accept the possibility of being wrong. It requires an open mind and a readiness to learn from mistakes.

    • Engaging in respectful debates with people who hold opposing views.

    • Admitting when you’re wrong and changing your stance based on new information.

    • Pursuing education in a field completely different from your current expertise.

  6. Spiritual Courage helps you confront profound questions about faith, purpose, and existence. It supports the pursuit of meaning in life, whether through religious beliefs or philosophical inquiry.

    • Questioning long-held beliefs and exploring new spiritual paths.

    • Sharing your faith or lack thereof in environments where it might be unpopular.

    • Making difficult life choices based on your spiritual convictions.

The Types of Courage You Need to Start a Business

Starting a business requires different types of courage, each playing a crucial role in the success of your business:

  1. Social Courage: It is essential for entrepreneurs to be themselves unapologetically to stand out in the business world. For example, it involves speaking up to present your ideas and asking for support or investment despite the risk of rejection.

  2. Moral Courage: Entrepreneurs often face ethical dilemmas and must have the strength to do what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular. This could involve refusing to participate in unethical business practices, even if it means losing potential profits or partnerships.

  3. Emotional Courage: Starting a business is an emotional rollercoaster. Entrepreneurs need to accept and process both positive and negative emotions without guilt or attachment. This includes opening up about challenges and expressing vulnerability when seeking advice or support.

  4. Intellectual Courage: The business world is constantly evolving, requiring entrepreneurs to learn, unlearn, and relearn with an open and flexible mind. This involves admitting when you’re wrong and changing your stance based on new information.

  5. Physical Courage: While not always involving bodily risk, physical courage in entrepreneurship means persevering through long hours, stress, and potential health impacts to keep the business going.

  6. Spiritual Courage: This involves living with purpose and meaning, approaching business decisions with a heart-centered approach. It’s about questioning long-held beliefs and making difficult choices based on your convictions.

Entrepreneurs must be willing to take risks without any guarantee of success. As I mentioned in the definition, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s acknowledging fear and moving ahead anyway, knowing that along the way, you’ll be able to master the necessary skills to achieve your goals.

Strategies to Develop Entrepreneurial Courage

Generating the courage to take risks in your business is a crucial aspect of entrepreneurial success.

  1. Start small: Begin by taking calculated, smaller risks to build your confidence gradually. As you experience success with these smaller risks, you’ll feel more comfortable tackling larger ones.

  2. Understand that not all risks can be predicted or controlled. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone and navigate through uncertain situations, as this can lead to innovative solutions and growth opportunities.

  3. Analyse mistakes, identify areas for improvement, and adjust your strategies accordingly. View failures as valuable learning experiences that refine your risk-taking abilities.

  4. Cultivate emotional resilience: Work on bouncing back from setbacks and maintaining a positive outlook through challenges.

  5. Seek support: Prepare your employees, partners, and investors for potential difficulties. Having a strong support system can make it easier to face risks.

  6. Focus on your vision: Remember your ultimate goals and the reasons you started your business. This can provide motivation and courage when facing risks.

  7. Continuously educate yourself: Stay informed about your industry, market trends, and best practices. The more knowledge you have, the more confident you’ll feel in taking calculated risks.

  8. Adopt a growth mindset: A growth mindset is an entrepreneur’s secret weapon: it helps you to raise the courage needed to face challenges, take risks, and persist in your venture.

    • Entrepreneurs with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities for learning and development rather than insurmountable obstacles. This perspective enables you to approach difficult situations with determination.

    • A growth mindset helps you see failures as temporary setbacks and learning experiences rather than permanent defeats. This resilience allows you to bounce back from failures and continue pursuing your goals with renewed courage.

    • Those with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. This belief encourages entrepreneurs to put in the necessary effort to improve their skills and knowledge, boosting their confidence and courage to take on new challenges.

    • Entrepreneurs with a growth mindset are more likely to view feedback and criticism constructively, using it to improve their strategies and approaches. This openness to learning enhances your ability to adapt and innovate courageously.

    • Rather than feeling threatened by others’ achievements, those with a growth mindset are inspired by their competition. This perspective encourages you to courageously pursue your goals and aspirations.

    • Persistence in the face of uncertainty: A growth mindset provides entrepreneurs with the courage to persist in uncertain and challenging environments.

By cultivating a growth mindset, you can develop the psychological capital necessary to face the risks and uncertainties inherent in entrepreneurship. This mindset enables you to approach challenges with courage, learn from failures, and continuously adapt and improve, ultimately contributing to your success and satisfaction in your entrepreneurial journey.

Lesser-known Courageous Female Entrepreneurs who have made a Significant Impact

If you need some inspiration:

  1. C.J. Walker: Born to former slaves, she became one of the first American women to become a self-made millionaire. Her line of beauty and hair products for black women was revolutionary in the early 20th century.

  2. Reshma Saujani: Founder of Girls Who Code, Saujani identified a critical gap in the tech industry and took innovative action to change it. She has empowered over 10,000 girls to enter the male-dominated field of technology, challenging industry norms and inspiring a new generation of tech leaders.

  3. Ursula Burns: Starting as a summer intern at Xerox, Burns rose to become the first Black woman to lead a Fortune 500 company. Her journey from an NYC housing project to CEO showcases remarkable perseverance and courage in breaking barriers in corporate leadership.

  4. Sara Blakely: Founder of Spanx, Blakely went from being a fax machine salesperson to creating a widely successful undergarment company. Her perseverance and problem-solving skills have made her one of the most successful female entrepreneurs.

  5. Katrina Lake: Founder of Stitch Fix, Lake became the youngest female founder to lead an IPO in 2017. She identified an opportunity in the changing retail industry and built a widely loved online personal-shopping service.

  6. Rachel Mielke: Founder of Hillberg & Berk, Mielke stands out for her work in empowering other women. Her jewelry brand has made significant charitable contributions and maintains a predominantly female workforce.

  7. Mary Kay Ash revolutionised the beauty industry with her innovative business model and exceptional leadership skills. She empowered women by creating job opportunities and promoting them to leadership positions.

These entrepreneurs have not only achieved remarkable success but have also paved the way for future generations of women in business, demonstrating courage in breaking barriers and creating innovative solutions in their respective industries.

By implementing the strategies I discussed above, you can gradually build the courage needed to take risks in your business, leading to greater innovation, growth, and success.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.
 Paulo Coelho

References:
Kristi Bockorny, Carolyn M Youssef-Morgan, Entrepreneurs’ Courage, Psychological Capital, and Life Satisfaction Front Psychol. 2019 Apr 5;10:789 PMCID: PMC6461011 PMID: 31024410

Baron R., Franklin R., Hmieleski K. (2016). Why entrepreneurs often experience low, not high, levels of stress: the joint effects of selection and psychological capital. J. Manag. 42 742–768. 10.1177/0149206313495411

Fairlie R. (2007). “Entrepreneurship among disadvantaged groups: women, minorities and the less educated,” in The Life Cycle of Entrepreneurial Ventures, ed. Simon P. (New York, NY: Springer; ), 437–475. 10.1007/978-0-387-32313-8_15

Does it take courage to start a business?

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Imagine having a survival toolkit ready next time you’re hit by a life-shattering transition. When you subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter, you get FREE access to my How to Survive a Life Quake 7-part online course (valued at €79). This isn’t just another online course; it’s a heartfelt made-with-love guide packed with tools to help you face and thrive through life’s transitions with resilience. I’d love for you to join our community!

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Remote Work: A Tale of Two Temperaments – Introverts and Extroverts

remote work

Is working remotely really the introvert’s dream and the extrovert’s nightmare?

With so many people, nearly three years after the pandemic still working remotely, by choice, it might seem as if the statement above might well be true. Not for me, though. I consider myself an inveterate introvert, and I spend long hours working on my own, marketing my Camino de Santiago walking retreats, but I also need regular contact with friends and family to keep me grounded.

When I met my friend Hannah for coffee at our favourite bistro, I discovered I wasn’t the only one. According to Hannah, she had always felt out of place in the office. Open-plan desks, forced conversations about last night’s Netflix binge, and the dreaded “Happy Birthday” singalongs—none of it was her scene. So, when her company announced they were offering permanent remote work, she couldn’t sign up fast enough.

No more awkward coffee breaks. No more Karen from HR asking if she had “big plans for the weekend.”

The first week was everything she’d dreamed of. She woke up to birdsong instead of her alarm, brewed her own coffee instead of suffering through whatever tar-like concoction the office kitchen offered, and basked in the absence of small talk. She didn’t even mind that she spent half the day on Zoom. Turning her camera off and pretending to listen was far easier than surviving in-person brainstorming sessions.

By week two, cracks started to show.

Hannah, much to her own surprise, missed the routine of the commute. Now, her days started in a haze of endless sameness. Bedroom to laptop. Laptop to kitchen. Kitchen to couch. And back again.

The silence, once soothing, became oppressive. She noticed how loud her apartment was: the constant hum of the fridge, the neighbour’s dog barking, and the faint screech of tyres on the street. She tried to listen to music to fill the void, but it only made her more aware of how quiet her world had become.

By the end of the third week, Hannah realised she hadn’t seen or spoken to another human being fat-to-face for days. She appreciated the presence of her cat enormously, but although he talked a lot, he wasn’t always understandable. The realisation hit hard. She started lingering on Zoom calls just to hear voices, even if they were discussing budgets or quarterly KPIs.

She thought working remotely would free her, but instead, it felt like a cage she’d willingly locked herself into.

Desperate for connection, she started visiting a local coffee shop with her laptop. The hum of conversations, the hiss of the espresso machine—it all felt oddly comforting. She didn’t talk to anyone, of course, but being around people reminded her that she was still part of the world.

Eventually, she joined a coworking space. Just a couple of days a week, enough to strike a balance. Hannah wasn’t ready to give up her solitude entirely, but she’d learned a hard truth: isolation, even for an introvert, wasn’t as blissful as she thought it would be.

By the time her first day at the coworking space ended, she felt lighter, more human. And when a stranger in a striped shirt asked if the seat next to her was taken, Hannah did something she never thought she’d do.

She smiled and said, “Go for it.”

My own experience, mirrored by Hannah’s experience, made me think. I thought about Carl Jung said about Introverts vs. Extroverts: “… introversion and extroversion are the foundation of personality, the building blocks that influence the way we live, work and interact with others. Introverts are attracted to the inner world of ideas, thoughts and emotions, while extroverts are attracted to a vibrant social life and group activities.” That much is clear. But Carl Jung also said, “”There is no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure extrovert. Such a man would be condemned to spend his life in an asylum.” 

Seems to me that introversion and extroversion should be seen as a spectrum with introverts on one end, extroverts on another and ambiverts somewhere in the middle. Also, in certain situations, an introvert can respond like an extrovert, and vice versa. Sometimes, introverts need connection and extroverts need solitude.

So how does the existence of this spectrum influence our approach to working remotely?

The shift to remote and hybrid work has dramatically reshaped the professional landscape, affecting introverts and extroverts in distinctly different ways. This new work paradigm has created a unique set of challenges and opportunities for both personality types, fundamentally altering their productivity.

Introverts, who typically thrive in quiet, controlled environments, have found remote work to be a sanctuary away from the hustle and bustle of traditional office settings. The ability to work from home has provided them with a peaceful atmosphere that aligns well with their natural tendencies, allowing for increased focus and productivity. Introverts appreciate the reduced social pressure and the freedom to communicate on their own terms, whether through email, messaging apps, or scheduled video calls.

On the other hand, extroverts have faced significant challenges in adapting to remote work. The lack of in-person interaction and the absence of a dynamic office environment has left many extroverts feeling isolated and less motivated. Extroverts often draw energy from social interactions and collaborative environments, which are less readily available in a remote setting. This shift has led to decreased productivity and increased feelings of disconnection for many extroverts. Many report feeling disconnected from their teams and missing the spontaneous conversations that once punctuated their workday. As Sarah Martinez, a sales executive, shares, “I miss the energy of the office. Video calls just aren’t the same as stopping by someone’s desk for a quick chat.”

Enter the hybrid work model. Introverts may opt to work remotely more often, enjoying the solitude and ability to control their social interactions. Extroverts, in contrast, can return to the office, seeking out the face-to-face interactions and collaborative atmosphere they crave.

The transition to remote and hybrid work has also impacted communication styles. Introverts may find virtual meetings less overwhelming, as they can participate without the pressure of constant face-to-face interaction. Extroverts, however, might struggle with the limited non-verbal cues in virtual settings and the reduced opportunities for spontaneous conversations.

Balancing the benefits of remote work for introverts with the need for social interaction for extroverts has become a key challenge in creating effective and inclusive work environments.

Today, introverts are valued employees of many companies, which are looking for managers with soft skills. Published in 2013, the book Quiet (The Power of Discretion: The Power of Introverts in an Overly Talkative World), by the American Susan Cain, marks the beginning of the “silent revolution” of introverts. In this book, which remained on the US bestseller list for almost two years, she demonstrates, through surveys of psychologists, anthropologists and sociologists, the value of introverts, whose creativity fuels business, the arts and politics. Her TED talk has been viewed nearly 30 million times.

All this seemed pretty straightforward until Myers-Briggs discovered in a recent study, conducted by John Hackston, Head of Thought Leadership at The Myers-Briggs Company, that 82 per cent of extroverted workers would prefer a hybrid work model, with 15 per cent actually preferring full-time remote work. Self-described introverts, on the other hand — a whopping 74 per cent of them — said they wanted to be in the office at least part-time.

So, how does remote work impact introverts specifically? What advantages do they enjoy, and what hurdles must they overcome? And most importantly, how can they minimise the downsides to thrive in their professional and personal lives?

The Introvert’s Perspective: Opportunities

For many introverts, remote work has been a revelation. The elimination of open-office distractions and the ability to control their environment has led to increased job satisfaction. Without the constant buzz of office activity, introverts can focus on their tasks without the energy drain of constant social interaction.

For introverts, remote work offers undeniable perks.

  1. A Distraction-Free Environment
    Without the constant chatter of colleagues or the need to participate in spontaneous discussions, introverts can focus on their tasks. This environment allows for heightened productivity and creativity, as introverts excel in settings where they can work uninterrupted.

  2. Control Over Workspace and Schedule
    Being at home means having the freedom to design a workspace that feels comfortable and supportive. Introverts can customise their day to include moments of quiet reflection, aligning work rhythms with their natural energy cycles.

  3. Reduced Pressure for Socialising
    Introverts often feel drained by excessive small talk or obligatory networking events. Gone are the days of forced small talk around the water cooler. Working remotely eliminates many of these stressors, enabling them to conserve energy for what truly matters.

These advantages make remote work appealing for introverts, but they don’t tell the whole story.

The Introvert’s Perspective: Challenges

While remote work initially feels like an introvert’s dream, it can also present unique challenges. It certainly isn’t without its pitfalls for introverts. The very aspects that make it appealing can also create unexpected difficulties: without the natural boundaries of a physical office, many introverts find themselves working longer hours, struggling to disconnect from work when it’s always within reach.

  1. Blurred Boundaries Between Work and Life
    Without a clear division between the office and home, introverts may find themselves working longer hours, leading to fatigue. The sanctuary of home life can become overshadowed by work demands, disrupting the balance they need to thrive.

  2. Limited Professional Visibility
    Introverts may unintentionally fade into the background in a remote setting, missing opportunities to showcase their contributions or build relationships with colleagues and leaders. The limited face-to-face interaction can lead to decreased visibility within their organisations, potentially impacting career advancement opportunities.

  3. Isolation and Loneliness
    While introverts value solitude, they still require meaningful connections. The absence of regular face-to-face interaction can lead to emotional disconnection and feelings of being undervalued or unsupported.

These challenges can accumulate over time, leaving introverts feeling drained and even burnt out.

The Burnout Factor

One of the most overlooked risks for introverts in remote work is burnout. Paradoxically, the very environment that feels comfortable can contribute to their exhaustion. Without clear boundaries, introverts often overcompensate, working harder to ensure their contributions are recognised. Combined with a lack of social interaction, this can lead to feelings of isolation, stress, and diminished well-being. The constant need to be “on” for video calls, combined with the pressure to maintain visibility in a virtual environment, can drain introverts’ energy reserves more quickly than traditional office work.

This is where structured support can make all the difference. My course, ‘Building Resilience – a Roadmap from Burnout to Breakthrough during a Life Transition,’ is designed to help professionals— especially introverts—overcome these challenges. It offers practical tools to set boundaries, manage stress, and cultivate sustainable self-care practices. By increasing their resilience, introverts can not only prevent burnout but also thrive in their remote work environment.

Coping with the Challenges: Practical Tips for Introverts

To thrive in remote work environments, introverts can implement several key strategies:

Set Clear Work-Life Boundaries

  • Designate a specific workspace to create physical separation from your personal life.

  • Establish fixed working hours and commit to “clocking out” at the end of the day.

Schedule Regular Breaks

  • Regular breaks throughout the day are essential for maintaining energy levels. These breaks should be scheduled rather than left to chance, ensuring they actually happen.

  • Use these breaks to step outside, stretch, or take a short walk – this can help reset mental focus and prevent the fatigue that comes from extended screen time.

Stay Connected

  • Schedule one-on-one virtual coffee chats with colleagues to maintain a sense of camaraderie.

  • Participate in team meetings and contribute thoughtfully. These controlled interactions allow you to maintain visibility while managing your energy levels.

Leverage Technology

Technology can be a powerful ally in this environment.

Using productivity tools to automate routine tasks, manage notifications, and organise work can reduce mental clutter and preserve energy for more important activities.

  • Experiment with apps like Slack or Microsoft Teams to maintain open communication without being overwhelmed.

Prioritise Self-Care

  • Dedicate time to hobbies, exercise, and activities that nourish your mental health.

  • Explore resources to gain deeper insights into managing stress and building lasting well-being.

Conclusion: Thriving as an Introvert working (mostly) @Home

Remote work offers unique advantages for introverts, but success requires intentional strategy and self-awareness. By acknowledging both the benefits and challenges of this work style, introverts can create systems and habits that support their natural tendencies while protecting against potential pitfalls.

The key lies in leveraging introverted strengths – such as intense focus and thoughtful communication – while actively managing the risks of isolation and burnout. Resources like the Roadmap to Resilience course provide valuable support in this journey, offering structured approaches to maintaining well-being and professional effectiveness in a remote environment.

As the workplace continues to evolve, introverts have a unique opportunity to thrive in ways that weren’t always possible in traditional office settings. By embracing their natural tendencies while staying mindful of potential challenges, introverts can create a sustainable and rewarding remote work experience that supports both their professional growth and personal well-being.

Dr Margaretha Montagu – MBChB, MRCGP, NLP Master Pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert

In addition to the transformational retreats that I host at my little French farm near Bordeaux, I have also created a couple of online courses, ex. Break Free from Uncertainty and Get Going in a New Direction – each course is available with or without one-to-one coaching. To receive notification of last-minute and early-bird specials on all of the above, I invite you to subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter which gives immediate access to my free  How to Survive a Life Quake e-course.

It’s time to kick exhaustion to the curb and finally ditch that terminally overwhelmed feeling, evict your inner critic, declutter your mind and take control of your life like a boss. You’re about to turn your life from a comedy of errors into a blockbuster success story (with a much better soundtrack). This two-day online course is designed for anyone needing to dramatically reduce stress, end exhaustion and overwhelm, prevent or recover from burnout, AND create a positive impact on others. Find out more

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Camino de Santiago Hiking Adventures

Confessions from the Camino: Blisters, Bliss, and Big Life Epiphanies

Written by Nina S. a proud Empty-Nester who attended a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during a Life Quake retreat in the sun-blessed southwest of France

#LifeQuake Series

I knew I was in trouble when my left ankle, safely encased in a brand new hiking boot started whispering “I hate you!” by mile three. Okay, it wasn’t literally whispering, but it might as well have been, considering the blister situation brewing on my heel. Welcome to my first day walking the Camino de Santiago—where dreams of spiritual enlightenment collide head-on with the harsh reality of unbroken shoes.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me rewind.

Why the Heck I Decided to Do This

So, picture this: me, a woman in her 50s, sitting in my kitchen with a cup of tea, staring down the uneven barrel of a life transition. Kids? Grown and out of the house (well, mostly—one boomerangs back when she needs help with her laundry). Career? Let’s just say I wasn’t feeling the love. Relationship? Yeah… let’s not open that Pandora’s box just yet.

I wanted inspiration, clarity, purpose, some kind of sign that the next chapter wasn’t going to involve me knitting in a recliner while binge-watching Murder, She Wrote reruns. (No offence, Jessica Fletcher, but I need more action in my life.)

That’s when I stumbled upon an article about a retreat walking a section of the Camino de Santiago, a centuries-old pilgrimage that winds through the southwest of France on it’s way to Spain. The photos looked like postcards: sunflower fields, charming stone villages, and people beaming with the kind of joy that comes from surviving walking 500 miles with a backpack that’s either too heavy or too small.

I thought, If they can do it, so can I. Plus, walking sounded simple. You just put one foot in front of the other, right? Spoiler alert: it’s not that simple.

Day One: The Blister Chronicles

Fast forward to me, sweating my way up a gentle incline (read: Mount Everest in disguise) on my first day. The romantic visions I had of strolling through quaint villages? Replaced by the grim reality of cursing every pebble on the path.

By lunchtime, I had my first blister. By dinnertime, I had named it Fred and was seriously considering amputating my foot. Fred was mean, persistent, and not shy about demanding attention with every step. But here’s the thing about the Camino: when you’re surrounded by fellow pilgrims, everyone’s in the same boat—or rather, on the same path.

At one point, I stopped to patch Fred up, and a fellow walker—an energetic Italian woman named Sofia—offered me her blister cream. “The Camino gives you what you need,” she said with a wink, handing me the tiny tube.

I wasn’t sure if it was divine intervention or just good timing, but the gesture made me tear up a little.

The People You Meet (and the Snacks You Steal)

Walking for hours a day gives you plenty of time to think—or to eavesdrop on conversations, which is what I did whenever I caught up to other pilgrims. (What? Don’t judge me; the Camino can get lonely!) I overheard deep discussions about philosophy, hilarious debates about which albergue had the best wine, and one particularly spirited argument about whether or not snoring should be a criminal offence in shared dorms.

Then there were the snacks. Let me just say, I became a bit of a Camino snack ninja. If someone brought out a bag of trail mix, I’d conveniently slow down to “enjoy the view” until I was close enough to sneak a handful. Hey, walking burns a lot of calories!

But the real magic came from the moments of connection. Like when I bonded with a retired teacher from Canada over our shared love of cheesy rom-coms. Or when a young guy from Germany told me he was walking to figure out what to do after quitting his tech job. His honesty floored me, and it made me wonder if maybe I needed to ask myself some hard questions too.

Lessons from the Trail (and the Time I Almost Quit)

The third day nearly broke me. My legs felt like lead, the rain wouldn’t stop, and Fred (remember the blister?) had blossomed into a blister barnacle. I wanted to quit. I even googled “nearest taxi service” during a water break.

But then I looked up and saw a signpost with the word Spain and an arrow pointing the way. It hit me: this wasn’t about getting there as fast as possible. It wasn’t about proving anything to anyone. It was about the journey itself. (Yes, I know that sounds like a line from a self-help book, but stay with me.)

I put my phone away and kept walking.

That day, I crossed paths with a French woman in her 60s who’d been walking the Camino for two months. TWO MONTHS. She told me she started because she wanted to “find her joy again.” And you know what? She was the happiest person I’d met on the trail.

Her story reminded me that it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to not have everything figured out. Sometimes, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if your feet are covered in Band-Aids.

The Finish Line (and What Came After)

When I finally reached the end, I expected fireworks, a choir of angels, or at least someone handing out free beers. Instead, I got a quiet sense of peace that crept over me as I stood in the shadow of an ancient oak tree.

It didn’t magically solve all my problems. My job was still waiting for me, my relationships still needed work, and my life still had plenty of question marks. But I felt lighter, more open, and—dare I say it—a little braver.

The Camino didn’t fix me. It didn’t hand me a roadmap for the rest of my life. But it reminded me that I’m capable of more than I think. And sometimes, this time, that’s enough.

So, if you’re sitting in your kitchen with a cup of tea, wondering who you are now and what’s next, maybe the answers aren’t clear right now. But trust me, at least some of the answers are out there on the Camino—waiting for you to take the first step.

Don’t forget the blister cream. And more snacks than you think you’ll ever need.

Find out more.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during Life Quakes Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter, or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. These retreats blend reflection and relaxation in a way that feels more like an exciting adventure than hard work. Whether you’ve chosen to make a change, or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Imagine having a survival toolkit ready next time you’re hit by a life-shattering transition. When you subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter, you get FREE access to my How to Survive a Life Quake 7-part online course (valued at €79). This isn’t just another online course; it’s a heartfelt made-with-love guide packed with tools to help you face and thrive through life’s transitions with resilience. I’d love for you to join our community!

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Unconventional Activities that Dramatically Enhance Resilience

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“Life transitions are the times in our lives when we don’t know how to tell the stories of our lives anymore.” Bruce Feiler

Are you thriving or just surviving in this grand, chaotic saga of life transitions? Maybe you’re thriving, you’re out there, radiating positive energy, waking up early, and somehow managing to do things like “morning routines” and “self-care Sundays.” People see you and think, Wow, they’re really nailing this whole adulting thing. You’re one green smoothie away from full enlightenment. You’ve got plants that aren’t dead. You make “change” look like a fresh Instagram reel, complete with upbeat music and perfectly filtered light.

Maybe you’re somewhere between striving and barely surviving. You’re getting through your “transition” with a survival kit of coffee, Netflix, and the occasional breakdown in the bathroom. Your motivational mantra sounds something like, “Today… we did not cry in public. Small wins.” Maybe you’ve Googled “how much stress is too much stress,” or taken up a new hobby like staring into space and sighing deeply. When someone says, “Wow, you’re handling this so well,” you laugh just a little too hard, maybe even tear up a bit.

The truth is, life transitions don’t come with a manual. It’s a high-stakes choose-your-own-adventure book, and half the time, you’re flipping back to the last chapter trying to figure out how you got here. Thriving? Striving? Surviving? It’s all relative. One day you’re a self-care icon, the next day you’re eating ice cream for dinner and calling it “self-compassion.”

So let’s raise a glass (or a coffee mug, or a pint of ice cream) to life transitions. Whether you’re out there thriving like a success story or striving like a sleep-deprived squirrel, you’re doing great. Keep going. Or at least keep caffeinated.

12 Unconventional self-care activities that can enhance resilience during challenging times:

  1. Bird Watching: Engaging in bird watching can improve well-being by connecting you with nature and fostering mindfulness. Setting up a bird feeder or exploring local parks can be both relaxing and intellectually stimulating.

  2. Tai Chi: This meditative martial art combines gentle movements with deep breathing, promoting relaxation and mental clarity. Classes in local parks can enhance the experience by connecting you with nature.

  3. Woodworking: This hands-on activity demands focus and creativity, making it an effective way to relieve stress. The repetitive nature of woodworking can be meditative and fulfilling.

  4. Online Learning for Career Change: If work-related stress is a concern, consider enrolling in an online course to explore new career opportunities. This proactive step can provide a sense of control and purpose.

  5. Cold Water Immersion: Regularly exposing yourself to cold water through showers or baths can build mental resilience and improve your overall stress response (not entirely convinced about this one! but some people swear by it.)

  6. Laughter Journaling: Spend time each day reflecting on funny experiences or jokes. Documenting these moments can boost your mood and foster a positive outlook on life.

  7. Improv Comedy Classes: Participating in improv can enhance your ability to think on your feet and embrace uncertainty, which is crucial during life changes.

  8. Mindful Coloring: Using adult colouring books can reduce anxiety and promote mindfulness, allowing you to focus on a simple, enjoyable task. Download Esprit Meraki’s Colouring Book

  9. Engaging in DIY Projects: Taking on creative projects at home can provide a sense of accomplishment and allow for self-expression, which is beneficial for emotional health.

  10. Nature Camping Trips: Disconnecting from technology and spending time in nature can rejuvenate your spirit and help you gain perspective on your challenges.

  11. Experimenting with Sensory Deprivation: Activities like floating in sensory deprivation tanks can enhance self-awareness and emotional regulation, providing a unique way to recharge mentally.

  12. Storytelling: Instead of journaling about stressors, try writing your own stories. This form of escapism provides you with a sense of purpose while diverting attention from your anxiety.

Incorporating these unconventional self-care activities into your routine can help bolster resilience, allowing you to navigate life’s changes with greater resilience.

About no 12: Can Storytelling really Increase Your Resilience?

Absolutely. It’s like free therapy with a dash of creative rebellion.

When you tell your story—really tell it, not just the Instagram-filtered highlights—you’re giving yourself a chance to see your life from the outside. To find humour in the mess, meaning in the monotony, and, maybe, a bit of strength in the parts you thought were too broken to save. You get to piece it all together, decide what matters, and let go of the rest.

Storytelling also rewires your inner narrative. Instead of feeling like life’s just happening to you, you take the pen back. You get to be the hero, the plot twist, the storyteller who owns every step of the journey.

And here’s the best part: when you tell your story, you don’t just help yourself—you offer others a mirror, a laugh, a me too. Storytelling becomes a connection, a release, and a reminder that you’re not in this alone.

Storytelling can be a powerful tool for improving resilience in several ways:

Creating Coherence and Meaning

Storytelling helps you create coherence in your life by organising past experiences into a structured narrative. This process allows you to make sense of your past, present, and future, providing a stable sense of identity and values. By understanding your own stories, you can better cope with stress and trauma, reducing feelings of confusion and overwhelm.

Fostering Connection and Support

Sharing personal stories can strengthen connections with others by building trust and increasing understanding. This shared vulnerability fosters deeper relationships and creates supportive networks that are crucial during challenging times. Storytelling also allows you to celebrate their hardiness and resilience, reinforcing positive self-perception.

Inspiring Action and Motivation

Crafting narratives about desired outcomes or ideal futures can motivate you to take action. By envisioning a compelling story of change or success, you can clarify your vision, set intentions, and influence both yourself and others to pursue their passions. This process ignites determination and provides direction during times of uncertainty.

Enhancing Emotional Insight

Storytelling encourages emotional insight by allowing you to acknowledge and understand your emotions. This process can lead to greater emotional regulation and resilience by helping you separate yourself from your problems and view them from a new perspective.

Stimulating Growth and Learning

Through storytelling, you can reflect on your past experiences, which promotes personal growth and learning. This reflection helps you adapt to new situations, overcome obstacles, and achieve goals, enhancing your sense of competence and confidence. By recounting stories of difficulty and adversity, you can gain insights into your resilience strategies and apply them to future challenges.

Overall, storytelling serves as a multifaceted approach to building resilience by promoting coherence, connection, growth, action, and emotional insight.

Actually, Storytelling plays a crucial role in Personal Growth in several key ways:

Creating Meaning and Identity

First, it helps you to create meaning and identity by making sense of your experiences. By organising past events into structured narratives, you can establish a stable sense of self and values, find meaning in difficult experiences, and gain perspective on your journey. This process of crafting your life story contributes significantly to self-understanding and personal growth.

Encourages Self-reflection and provides Insight

Additionally, storytelling fosters self-reflection and insight. The act of telling your story encourages deep introspection, leading to greater emotional awareness and self-understanding. It helps you identify patterns in your behaviour and decision-making, recognise personal strengths, and pinpoint areas for growth. This reflective process is essential for personal development and can result in positive changes in your attitude and behaviour.

Fine-tune your Coping Skills

Storytelling also fine-tunes your coping skills. Sharing stories of overcoming challenges reinforces your ability to handle adversity, providing a sense of control over past events while offering perspective on current difficulties. By recounting stories of past resilience, you can cultivate confidence in your capacity to face future challenges.

Enhances your Communication Skills

Storytelling also enhances your communication skills and creates deeper social connections. It develops the ability to express your thoughts and emotions effectively while creating understanding between you and your listeners. This improved communication builds trust and intimacy in relationships, which is vital for your mental well-being.

Promotes Flexibility and Adaptability

Stories serve as powerful tools for learning and adaptability. They help you to learn from others’ experiences, encouraging the exploration of new perspectives and original ideas. This process facilitates the integration of new knowledge into your existing mental frameworks, promoting flexibility and adaptability.

Storytelling is such a powerful tool. It helps you to understand yourself, connect with others, build resilience, learn, and inspire change. Storytelling allows you to actively shape your narrative and foster continuous growth throughout your life. An d compelling personal stories, no matter how messy, can inspire action and eventually positive change in others.

How Storytelling can be transformative, especially during Life Transitions:

  1. Career Change: Maybe you are leaving a corporate job. Sara did, to open a coffee-cum-bookshop, and storytelling helped her to frame her decision as a journey of self-discovery. Sharing the story of why she left her previous role and what inspired her new venture gives her a sense of purpose. It also helps her connect with future customers who resonate with her new beginning.

  2. Ending a Long-Term Relationship: If you are struggling at the end of a relationship, storytelling can provide a way to reflect on what happened during the relationship and what lessons you learned and can carry forward. By framing the transition as an empowering narrative of self-discovery, you can shift from feeling loss to seeing the potential for a new, better aligned future.

  3. Empty Nest: If you are facing an empty nest, you can reframe your role by telling the story of the journey from nurturing children to supporting young adults. Sharing this story with your friends, your community, or just writing it all down can help allow you to see your continued importance in your children’s lives, shifting the narrative from “losing purpose” to “evolving purpose.”

  4. Overcoming Burnout: When facing burnout, storytelling can allow you to process how you reached that point and envision a recovery path. Sharing your story in a support group or journaling through the experience can help you understand your boundaries and the patterns that led to burnout, so you can create a healthier work-life balance going forward.

  5. Rediscovering Purpose: Some of my Walking and Writing retreat guests have used storytelling to reflect on their life path, rediscover what brings them fulfilment, and uncover their “next chapter.” As they share this journey, it often becomes a narrative of finding direction, letting go of past doubts, and embracing a renewed sense of purpose.

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Storytelling during life transitions is like drawing a map from where you’ve been to where you want to go, helping you see challenges as parts of a larger story, the story of your life.

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

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