Stranded At The Airport: What 50 Hours of Delays Taught Me About Stress and Self-Care

What marathon delays taught me about managing stress during major life transitions

What This Is About

You know those self-care and stress management mantras about setting boundaries, prioritising yourself and protecting your peace? Nothing wrong with them. But after spending 50 hours getting from my front door to my destination (yes, you read that right), I discovered they’re suspiciously incomplete. Turns out, the real magic happens when you can manage to hold two seemingly contradictory truths at once. Read on if you’re navigating stressful times and suspect that “just protect your energy” isn’t the whole story.

When Unexpected Travel Complications Become a Masterclass in Resilience

I’ve always been good at setting boundaries while I travel.

You know the type: noise-cancelling headphones at the ready, polite but firm “no thank you” to chatty seatmates, strategic positioning away from the gate-area chaos. Protect your peace. Guard your energy. Create your bubble. I could write the handbook.

So when my carefully planned journey turned into a 50-hour odyssey of flight delays, cancellations, and gate changes that would make a logistics coordinator weep, I thought I knew exactly what to do: hunker down, tune out, and white-knuckle my way through it.

Except something unexpected happened.

The Moment Everything Shifted and Realigned

First, I was flying to Paris. Flight delayed, long-haul (12 hours) connection missed. Then I’m flying to Amsterdam. Flight delayed, long-haul connection missed. Now I’m flying to Frankfurt and I’m standing in a customer service line that snaked around three corners. The woman in front of me—let’s call her Maria—turned around with that particular expression that says, “Is this real, or am I hallucinating?”

We started talking.

Not the superficial “crazy weather, huh?” exchange, but a real conversation. She was heading to her daughter’s wedding. I was going on a retreat. We compared notes on life transitions, shared our airline app hacks, and somehow ended up laughing about the absurdity of our situation. When we finally reached the desk, we advocated for each other, found seats on rebooked flights, and exchanged phone numbers.

That conversation—that connection—didn’t drain my energy. It replenished it.

The Radical Thought: What If It’s Not Either/Or?

All those articles about protecting your peace during stressful times are right: boundaries matter. Self-care is not selfish. You cannot pour from an empty cup. I’m not here to argue with any of that.

But here’s what they often miss: humans are wired for connection. And during times of stress—whether it’s travel chaos, major life transitions, or navigating the unknown—isolation can masquerade as self-protection while actually making everything harder.

Over those 50 hours, I did what I had planned: I stayed present. Really present. Not scrolling-through-my-phone-while-half-listening present, but genuinely there, in the moment, available to the people around me: my travelling companions, the airport staff, the airline staff.

I had a twenty-minute conversation with a gate agent named Jerome who’d been screamed at all day. I listened to his story about choosing this job after retiring from teaching. I thanked him profusely for going out of his way to help me. I watched his shoulders relax.

I texted a friend who sent increasingly ridiculous memes as my delays mounted. I called another from a quiet corner and told her I was frustrated and tired. She didn’t try to fix it; she just listened. It helped more than I could ever have imagined.

I sat at a table with two other delayed passengers—complete strangers thirty minutes earlier—and we shared travel horror stories and life philosophies over mediocre airport coffee. We laughed until we cried.

None of these interactions violated my boundaries. None of them depleted me. Every single one made this impossible situation a little more bearable.

The Limitations of an Either/Or Strategy

What I discovered during those 50 hours is this: the most effective stress management strategy isn’t about choosing between protecting yourself and connecting with others. It’s about doing both, consciously and deliberately.

Think of it like breathing. You need to exhale—to release, to set boundaries, to protect your space. But you also need to inhale—to take in, to receive, to allow connection. You can’t just keep breathing out. You’d suffocate.

The boundaries I set during my journey were real and necessary: I took myself to a quiet corner when I needed silence. I said no to a conversation when I was too exhausted. I turned off my phone notifications for an hour to prevent overwhelm. I protected my peace when protection was needed.

But I also stayed open. I made eye contact. I smiled at the frazzled mom with three kids in tow. I asked the cafe worker how his day was going and carefully listened to the answer. I let people in—selectively, mindfully, but open-heartedly.

What was really surprising was that the connections didn’t drain me. They sustained me. They reminded me that I wasn’t alone in the chaos. They transformed a nightmare of logistics into a series of human moments. They gave me something to hold onto when my patience was running thin.

Why This Matters Beyond the Airport

If you’re reading this, you might be in your own version of “50 hours of delays”—a career transition that’s taking longer than expected, a life change that’s more complex than you planned, a journey toward something new that keeps hitting obstacles.

The temptation is to shut down. To protect yourself so completely that nothing can hurt you, but also nothing can reach you. To wait out the storm alone.

I get it. I’ve done it. But what I learned at Gate Z25 in Frankfurt Airport is that resilience isn’t just about fortification. It’s also about connection. The strength to keep going doesn’t only come from within—it also comes from the small moments of humanity we share with others, even (especially) during the hard times.

The DIY Application of this Insight

So here’s what I’m inviting you to try, whether you’re facing travel stress, life transitions, or just the regular challenges of being human:

1. Check in with yourself first. Before any interaction, take three seconds to ask: “Do I have the capacity for this right now?” If the answer is no, it’s no. No guilt, no explanation needed.

2. If the answer is yes (or maybe), stay present. Put the phone down. Make eye contact. Be genuinely there, even if it’s just for two minutes.

3. Notice what replenishes you. Pay attention to which connections drain you and which ones fill you up. They’re not all created equal. A deep conversation with one person might energise you while small talk with another exhausts you. Learn your own pattern.

4. Practice tiny acts of connection. You don’t have to bare your soul in the airport food court. Sometimes, connection is just acknowledging another person’s humanity: “This is frustrating, isn’t it?” “Thank you for sharing.” “I hope you get home soon.” Small moments count.

5. Stay in touch with your people. When stress hits, don’t isolate. Text a friend. Call someone who gets it. Let people know you’re struggling. Connection doesn’t always mean face-to-face—sometimes it’s a voice on the other end of the line, reminding you that you’re not alone.

The framework is simple: Boundaries protect your peace. Connection sustains your spirit. In difficult times, you need both.

It’s not about being endlessly available or performatively social. It’s not about ignoring your limits or saying yes when you mean no. It’s about recognising that even during the most stressful times—maybe especially then—we need each other. And that protecting yourself and staying connected aren’t opposing forces; they’re partners in resilience.

A fifty-hour travel delay certainly wasn’t on my itinerary. But at least the insight I gained made it worthwhile. Sometimes detours and delays can be great teachers.

FAQs: Your Questions About Connection and Boundaries During Stress

Q: How do I know when to protect my peace versus when to stay open to connection?

A: Start by tuning into your body. Genuine exhaustion feels heavy, like your batteries are at 2%. That’s when you need to protect and recharge. But sometimes what feels like “I need to be alone” is actually anxiety or overwhelm—and that’s when gentle, low-stakes connection can actually help. Ask yourself: “Will this interaction require me to perform, or can I just be me?” If you can be yourself, even tired, it might be worth staying open.

Q: What if I’m naturally introverted? Does this mean I have to force myself to be social during stressful times?

A: Absolutely not. Connection doesn’t mean constant socialising. For introverts, like me, connection might look like one meaningful text exchange, a quiet coffee with a trusted friend, or even just reading alongside someone in companionable silence. It’s about quality, not quantity. The key is not to isolate so completely that you lose access to support when you need it most.

Q: How do I set boundaries without seeming rude or cold?

A: Kindness and boundaries coexist perfectly. You can say, “I’d love to chat but I’m completely wiped out right now” with warmth and honesty. You can smile while putting your headphones back on. The magic phrase is: “I need to [recharge/rest/have some quiet time], but I appreciate you.” Most people understand—and if they don’t, that’s information about them, not you.

Q: What if I reach out for connection during a stressful time and people aren’t available?

A: This is hard, and it’s real. Not everyone will be able to show up when you need them. Have a list of multiple people you can reach out to, so you’re not pinning everything on one person’s availability. Consider a therapist, a support group, or a community (online or in-person) where people understand what you’re going through. And remember: sometimes connection is about being witnessed, not fixed. Even saying “I’m struggling” into the void of a journal can help.

Q: Can you have too many connections during stressful times?

A: Yes. If you’re constantly processing your stress with others, constantly seeking reassurance, or using connection to avoid actually sitting with your feelings, it becomes a different kind of drain. Balance means honouring both your need for others and your need for solitude. If every quiet moment sends you reaching for your phone to fill the silence, that’s a sign to pull back and reconnect with yourself first.

5 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Managing Stress During Difficult Times

1. The All-or-Nothing Approach: Thinking you have to choose between complete isolation (“I’m protecting my energy”) or being available to everyone (“I should be more open”). The truth? You can have boundaries AND remain connected. You can say no to some things and yes to others. Stress management isn’t binary.

2. Confusing Self-Protection with Self-Isolation There’s a difference between taking space to recharge (healthy) and cutting yourself off from all support (harmful). If you find yourself routinely declining every offer of help, every invitation to talk, every gesture of kindness, check in with yourself: are you protecting your peace or are you isolating out of fear, pride, or overwhelm?

3. Only Connecting When You’re in Crisis Mode If the only time you reach out to people is when you’re at your breaking point, connection becomes associated with desperation. Build relationships during the calm times so you have trust and goodwill to draw on when stress hits. Regular, low-key connections make asking for help during hard times feel more natural.

4. Performing Instead of Being Present Connection doesn’t mean you have to be “on”—cheerful, articulate, entertaining. Some of the most meaningful connections happen when you’re honest about struggling. If every interaction feels like you’re wearing a mask, you’re not actually connecting; you’re performing. And that IS draining.

5. Ignoring Your Unique Connection Style What replenishes your friend might deplete you, and vice versa. Maybe you need a movement-based connection (a walk-and-talk), while your friend needs a sitting-still conversation. Maybe you need to process out loud; maybe you need to write first and share later. Don’t force yourself into someone else’s connection template. Figure out what actually works for you.

A Gentle Invitation: When You’re Ready for More

If 50 hours of travel delays taught me anything, it’s this: the journey itself—the messy, stressful, longer-than-expected path—sometimes holds exactly what we need to learn. And sometimes, the most transformative insights come when we’re in transition, when we’ve left one chapter but haven’t quite arrived at the next.

That in-between space? That’s where the magic happens.

My Binge Reading for Book Lovers retreats are designed for exactly this: when you need both the space to reflect and the connection to remind you that you’re not alone.

Picture this: days spent hiking the ancient paths of southwest France, surrounded by rolling hills and medieval villages. Evenings gathered around a table with fellow book lovers, sharing stories—from the pages you’ve read and from your own life. Time to think, time to breathe, time to be both protected and connected in equal measure.

This isn’t about pushing yourself or performing. It’s about creating the conditions where insight can emerge naturally—through movement, through story, through the quiet companionship of people who also love books. It’s about taking a purposeful pause so you can return to your life rested and relaxed.

Learn more about the Booklovers Binge Reading Retreat here.

Gratefully yours,
Margaretha