What You Give Is What You Get

The Wild, Weird and Wonderful Alchemy of Generosity

Or: The Goat, the Gucci Bag, and a life-enriching Cappuccino

It started, as many seriously strange stories do, with a cappuccino.

Picture this: a honey-hued morning in Gascony (the French Tuscany), the kind where the mellow sunlight seems to flirt with the harsh stone walls, and even the pigeons strut like they know they’re extras in a Richard Curtis film. I was perched on a rattan chair at Café de la Cloche, a painfully elegant spot that serves caffeine with a side of existential charm.

The air smelled like roasted beans, melted butter, and lavender from the florist across the street. There was a faint clinking of cutlery and the occasional muttered sigh from the impeccably dressed clientele. It was the kind of café where the croissants are as flaky as the clientele’s emotional availability, and where no one ever, ever, orders regular milk without apologising.

Cue Stephane.

Stephane, who did not match the scenery.

He entered stage left wearing an oversized wool coat that had definitely lived through the 1980s, two days’ worth of beard growth, and shoes that had been battered by the Camino and didn’t mind saying so. He carried three plastic shopping bags full of something mystery—and, most notably, he had a goat on a leash.

Yes, a goat. A caramel-colored, beardy little thing that walked with surprising dignity. They moved through the café terrace like they belonged there. Like goats in Gascon cafés were just how things went now.

At the next table sat a woman with sleek silver hair and a navy Max Mara blazer that whispered “I negotiate billion-euro contracts before breakfast.” Her handbag—a recent Gucci number—rested on the table like a small, expensive dog.

She was not amused.

She was, in fact, locked in a scathing whisper-fight with the barista over the consistency of her oat milk foam.

“Two millimetres too thin,” she said with the air of someone who’d suffered and survived, thank you very much.

The barista, wearing an apron that said “Yes, I bean it”—looked like he was going to burst into tears.

Stephane, meanwhile, took a seat at a rickety table next to hers and offered her a serene smile. She returned it with a look usually reserved for presumptuous pigeons that dared to get too friendly. Then, almost theatrically, she leaned away and muttered something about how the ambiance was being destroyed.

Stephane didn’t blink. Instead, he rummaged in one of his crinkly bags, pulled out a rustic loaf of bread—still warm, judging by the steam curling from the crust—and handed it to the flustered barista with both hands.

“For you,” he said, his accent thick and musical, like he’d once sung in a monastery and never quite stopped.

The barista took the bread like it was a sacrament.

Silence fell.

Even the pigeons paused.

The woman in the Max Mara blazer blinked. Then blinked again. She glanced down at her handbag, as if expecting it to have an opinion. Then, with the world’s tiniest shrug of surrender, she tapped the barista gently on the arm.

“I’m paying for his drink, and whatever else he orders,” she said.

A small miracle had just happened.

No hashtags. No applause. Just a quiet karmic recalibration on a Sunday morning.

The goat bleated approvingly.

And I, sitting quietly at my table, took a sip of my cappuccino—and realised it tasted different. Richer.

Life Is Not a Vending Machine.

Life doesn’t respond to what you want.

It responds to what you give.

What you radiate— often unconsciously.

Life is not a vending machine where you press a button labelled “Success” and out pops a perfectly wrapped outcome.

Because we are tuning forks — biologically wired for resonance through a process called limbic synchronisation.

Our nervous systems are exquisitely designed to pick up on non-verbal cues, micro-expressions, and emotional states — an ancient survival mechanism that still dictates how we feel about people.

In neuroscience, this is the work of mirror neurons — specialised brain cells that fire both when we act and when we observe someone else performing that same action. Essentially, when you feel confidence, kindness, or generosity, the people around you don’t just see it — their brains start to simulate it.

You are, whether you intend it or not, an emotionally contagious.

Similarly, in the realm of physics, there’s the phenomenon of entrainment — where two oscillating bodies in proximity (like pendulums or heartbeats) begin to synchronise over time. Humans entrain emotionally too. Our energy, attitudes, and behaviour subtly influence those around us, creating feedback loops that reinforce either harmony or discord.

So when you give — attention, respect, empathy, even ambition — you’re not merely performing social niceties.

You’re broadcasting frequencies that literally recalibrate the emotional and relational space you inhabit.

And in turn, the world responds in kind.

Because life is not transactional — it’s relational.
And every relationship, including the one you have with the world itself, is an autonomous feedback system.

What you give — energetically, emotionally, intellectually — determines what returns to you.

Not because of karma, luck, or cosmic vending machines.
But because, scientifically speaking, you’ve shaped the environment — and the minds within it — to resonate with your signal.

Want more respect? Radiate self-respect and unshakable integrity.
Want more opportunities? Offer curiosity and attract collaborators and allies.
Want deeper connections? Give presence — undivided attention is rarer than gold these days.

In the end, we are not just individuals.
We are bioelectrical beacons, constantly influencing the invisible fields between us.

The ROI of Authentic Giving

Relationships are your currency.
Reputation is your leverage
And value is the new visibility.

1. Generosity is about Strategy (Not Charity)

We’re not talking about performative philanthropy or virtue signalling.

We’re talking about energetic congruence.
About playing the long game with invisible dividends.

The founder who helped a competitor during a PR crisis…
The exec who mentored someone with no “value”…
The thought leader who gave their best IP away for free…

Guess what they all have in common?

Powerful reputations. Loyal communities. Trust-based leverage.

And trust?
It is the most underpriced asset in your portfolio.

2. You Can’t Hack Authentic Giving

We often ask:
“But what’s the return on this?”

Wrong question.
Ask instead: “Who am I becoming by doing this?”

Because when you give without agenda, you don’t just shift your outcomes.
You shift your identity.

And identity?
Your identity shapes your outcomes.

The Science Behind It All

Positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson found that generosity increases well-being, creativity, and resilience. Why? Because it creates upward spirals of positive emotion that expand your capacity to think, connect, and act.

Behavioural economists call it “reciprocity bias.”
When you give freely, people want to return the favour—often with interest.

Neuroscience confirms it too: giving activates the brain’s reward centres, including the mesolimbic system. Meaning?

Giving literally makes your brain believe it’s winning.

And in business, where your energy is your edge—that’s leverage.

The return often doesn’t come back through the same door.

You buy a stranger a meal… and land a dream client three weeks later.
You mentor someone for free… and your book gets picked up by a publisher you never pitched.
You donate to a small cause… and suddenly find the clarity you’ve been chasing for years.

Coincidence? Maybe.
But if it is, it’s a suspiciously consistent one.

Update Your Giving Inventory

Step 1: Audit your recent giving.

• When was the last time you gave something—time, energy, expertise, attention—without expecting a return?

Step 2: Identify your natural giving style.
Are you:

• The Connector? (You give opportunities.)
• The Listener? (You give attention.)
• The Strategist? (You give clarity.)
• The Healer? (You give comfort or insight.)

Step 3: Make a list of 3 people or causes you could support this month with no ROI expected.

Step 4: Document what shifts.
Not just what comes back to you—but how you feel when it does.
You might be surprised.

Final Thought: Give Like It’s an Opportunity, Not a Duty

High-level success isn’t just about control.
It’s about co-creation.

You shape the world around you with the quality of what you put in:

• The tone of your emails.
• The integrity of your offers.
• The spirit behind your strategy.

And yes—even the way you react when your cappuccino’s foam is 2mm off.

Give the good stuff.
The deep stuff.
The stuff that feels inconvenient but is empowering.

Because when you do, you don’t just “get what you give.”
You get 100x amplified.
You get realigned.

And sometimes, if the timing is right—you get a free cappuccino and a new friend with a goat named Chippo.

My Experience

I discovered this simple principle more than a decade ago – and it changed my life. Giving, whether it is attention, time, or energy, gives my life meaning.

I started by giving laughably small amounts of my time, energy, attention, knowledge and later funds, and the ROI was mindblowing.

It eventually inspired me to co-found a nonprofit called Sauvetage et Sérénité to support simple but life-changing acts of rescue, healing, and hope for people and for horses.

It’s small.
It’s soulful.
And it runs on the kind of generosity you just read about.