Why It’s Crucial to Have Role Models Who Have Achieved What You Want to Achieve
Introduction
In a world that often glorifies the myth of the “self-made” success story, we find ourselves in a peculiar predicament: even the most celebrated high-achievers owe a large part of their journey to the influence of role models. Despite the relentless pursuit of success and the ever-present aura of independence that surrounds achievement, the truth is that inspiration and guidance are not signs of weakness—they are the bedrock of innovation. Today, we dive into why it’s essential to have role models who have reached the milestones we aspire to achieve, and more importantly, why we need to rethink the way we choose and engage with these influencers if we’re to truly disrupt the status quo.
Inspired by role models in my own field as well as in completely different fields, I created my Radical Renaissance program – a transformative program for those seeking a bold new start after a major life transition. It’s not about following a pre-set path but about designing your own, guided by the wisdom of those who’ve successfully navigated reinvention before you. Because when you learn from the right role models, you don’t just adapt—you revolutionise ;D
1. The Art and Science of Choosing Role Models
Have you ever noticed that just by observing someone’s success, you somehow feel more capable of reaching your own goals? There’s a scientific explanation behind this phenomenon. Our brains are hardwired to learn through imitation—a process driven by what neuroscientists call mirror neurons. These specialized cells in our brains activate both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing the same action. This mirroring effect is the biological basis for learning by example and is one of the primary reasons why role models hold such transformative power in our lives.
Beyond the neurological underpinnings, there is what I like to call the “permission effect.” When we see someone achieve what we aspire to, it sends a subtle yet powerful message: “If they can do it, so can you.” It’s as if the success of others unlocks a mental barrier, granting us permission to dream big and step out of our comfort zones. This is especially important for high-achievers who, despite their accomplishments, often face the daunting challenge of taking the next leap forward. Even the most successful professionals find themselves in need of fresh perspectives and new inspiration to continue growing.
Strategic Selection Over Blind Idolization
Here’s a thought that might unsettle the traditional notion of role modeling: we don’t just need role models—we need to be extremely strategic about who we choose as our guides. Instead of following the luminaries who are light years ahead of us, we should focus on those who are a few steps ahead—people whose paths are both aspirational and accessible. This approach not only makes the process of emulation more practical but also encourages incremental innovation, where each step builds logically on the previous one.
2. The Fatal Flaw: Are You Idolizing the Wrong Role Models?
It’s all too common to find ourselves enamoured with distant icons, celebrities, or magnates whose lifestyles and achievements seem so far removed from our own reality that they become more a source of disillusionment than genuine inspiration. This phenomenon is compounded by the fact that social media and public relations tend to present a “highlight reel” of success. We see the glitz and glamour, but rarely the grind, setbacks, and strategic pivots that form the core of any true success story. In effect, we risk idolizing an image rather than a journey.
The Pitfalls of Passive Consumption
Admiring success from afar is like watching an expertly choreographed dance through a window: you see the fluid motion and sparkling costumes, but you miss the sweat, missteps, and effort that go into every performance. Relying solely on this passive form of inspiration can lead to unrealistic expectations. It can also instill a sense of inadequacy, as we measure our own progress against an idealized version of success that has been meticulously curated to appear effortless.
Moreover, the problem deepens when we fail to recognise the context behind someone’s achievements. The environment, timing, resources, and even sheer luck often play pivotal roles in a person’s journey. Attempting to replicate their success without understanding these nuances can leave you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. The message is clear: you can’t simply copy someone else’s blueprint without considering the unique variables that shaped their path.
Choose Role Models Who Are 3–5 Steps Ahead
Instead of chasing after distant legends, consider this disruptive idea: your ideal role model might be someone who is only a few steps ahead of where you currently stand. This strategy not only makes their successes more relatable but also provides a practical framework for your own journey. By focusing on incremental progress rather than a giant leap into the unknown, you’ll find that success becomes more attainable and less intimidating.
3. The Missing Piece: How to Choose a Role Model Who Actually Moves the Needle
The question then becomes: how do you choose a role model who will truly move the needle in your personal and professional development? The answer lies in shifting your perspective from mere admiration to strategic selection. A great role model is not necessarily the most famous or the wealthiest; rather, they are individuals whose journeys resonate with your own goals and challenges.
Proximity to Power vs. Proximity to Practicality
Many of us are tempted to look up to titans of industry and iconic innovators who appear to embody success in its most glamorous form. However, there’s a critical flaw in this approach. Often, the most influential mentors are not the ones at the pinnacle of fame or wealth, but those who are just ahead of you on the ladder of success. These individuals understand the practical challenges you face because they have recently navigated similar obstacles. Their lessons are fresh, their strategies are tested, and their advice is grounded in the current realities of the industry.
Embracing Diversity in Role Models
Innovation often springs from the convergence of diverse ideas. Limiting yourself to role models within your immediate industry can stifle creativity. The best ideas frequently come from cross-pollination between different fields. Look beyond the obvious and consider role models from various disciplines—those who have disrupted norms in unexpected ways. This diversity in mentorship can inspire innovative approaches to problem-solving and encourage you to think outside the conventional boundaries of your field.
Building a ‘Personal Board of Advisors’
Instead of putting all your eggs in one basket by relying on a single role model, consider curating your own personal board of advisors. This board should consist of individuals who excel in different aspects of success—strategic thinkers, creative innovators, empathetic leaders, and even those who have faced and overcome failure. Each member of this board can offer insights into different facets of your journey, providing a well-rounded perspective that is tailored to your unique needs and aspirations.
Your Ideal Role Model Might Not Even Be in Your Field
Here’s another provocative idea: sometimes the most groundbreaking inspiration comes from outside your immediate area of expertise. Look for role models who have shattered conventions in seemingly unrelated fields. Their innovative thinking and problem-solving techniques can often be adapted to your industry, leading to unexpected breakthroughs and fresh perspectives. Embracing this cross-industry inspiration can help you challenge the status quo and foster a culture of continuous improvement and reinvention.
4. How to Reverse-Engineer a Role Model’s Success (Without Losing Yourself in the Process)
It’s one thing to admire a role model from afar; it’s quite another to extract actionable insights from their journey and apply them to your own life. The key is to reverse-engineer their success without succumbing to the trap of losing your own unique identity in the process.
Focus on Their Thought Process, Not Just Their Outcomes
A common mistake is to focus solely on the end results rather than understanding the strategic thinking and problem-solving methods that led to those results. Great role models do not offer a magic formula; instead, they reveal the iterative process of trial, error, and adaptation that characterizes true innovation. By studying their decision-making process, you can learn how to approach your challenges with a mindset geared toward continuous learning and improvement.
Adapt, Don’t Adopt
While it’s tempting to emulate every aspect of a role model’s approach, the key to genuine growth is to adapt their strategies to your own context. What works for one person might not work for another, and blindly copying someone’s methods can lead to a loss of authenticity. Instead, view their journey as a source of inspiration—a set of principles that you can interpret and modify to suit your unique circumstances. This approach not only preserves your individuality but also fosters innovation by encouraging you to develop solutions that are tailored to your specific challenges.
Practical Action Steps for Reverse-Engineering Success
- Deconstruct Their Journey: Break down your role model’s career into key phases. Identify the critical decisions, turning points, and strategies that contributed to their success.
- Identify Underlying Principles: Look beyond the surface details and seek the core principles that guided their actions. Were they particularly adept at risk management? Did they prioritize building strong networks?
- Map Their Strategy to Your Goals: Create a roadmap that aligns the insights you’ve gathered with your own objectives. Identify the steps you need to take and the skills you need to develop.
- Implement Iteratively: Rather than attempting a wholesale adoption of their strategy, experiment with small, manageable changes. Track your progress, learn from your failures, and refine your approach continuously.
Role Models Provide a Compass, Not a Map
Perhaps the most transformative idea of all is this: your role model’s journey should serve as a compass rather than a detailed map. They point you in the right direction and offer valuable insights along the way, but the route you take is uniquely yours. This perspective empowers you to innovate and adapt, ensuring that your path to success is both authentic and effective.
5. From Passive Inspiration to Active Transformation: Making Role Models Work for You
While it’s easy to get caught up in the allure of inspirational stories and lofty achievements, the real challenge lies in converting that inspiration into tangible results. Too often, we fall into the trap of passive admiration—a state where we feel momentarily uplifted but ultimately fail to translate that energy into action.
The Problem with Inspiration Without Action
Many of us have experienced the phenomenon of riding a wave of motivation only to see it dissipate when we return to the grind of everyday life. This “motivational high” can be exhilarating in the moment, yet it rarely translates into lasting change. The key to harnessing the power of role models is to move beyond passive inspiration and embrace active transformation.
The Power of Micro-Mentorship
You don’t always need to secure a high-profile mentorship or a long-term advisory relationship to benefit from a role model’s insights. Sometimes, the most effective learning occurs through micro-mentorship—small, targeted interactions that provide you with just the right nugget of wisdom at the right time. This could be in the form of a brief conversation at an industry event, a well-timed social media exchange, or even a book written by someone whose journey resonates with you. These bite-sized interactions can have a profound cumulative effect on your growth and innovation.
How to Network with Role Models Without Being a Nuisance
Building genuine connections with those you admire doesn’t have to be a daunting or intrusive task. The key is to approach networking with authenticity and a clear sense of purpose. Here are a few strategies to help you cultivate meaningful relationships with your role models:
- Do Your Homework: Before reaching out, familiarize yourself with their work and achievements. A well-informed question or comment can make a world of difference.
- Offer Value: Think about what you can bring to the table. Whether it’s a fresh perspective, relevant expertise, or even just thoughtful feedback, offering value can help foster a mutually beneficial relationship.
- Be Respectful of Their Time: High achievers are often inundated with requests. Keep your communication concise, genuine, and respectful of their busy schedules.
- Follow Up Thoughtfully: If you’ve had a meaningful interaction, follow up with a brief note expressing gratitude and sharing any relevant progress you’ve made as a result of their insights.
Transforming inspiration into action requires a shift in mindset. It’s not enough to simply admire success from a distance—you must actively engage with the lessons embedded in each role model’s journey. This means integrating their philosophies into your daily habits, decision-making processes, and long-term strategies.
The Imperative of Continuous Learning
One of the hallmarks of successful professionals is an unyielding commitment to lifelong learning. Role models, regardless of their field, exemplify this principle by constantly evolving and adapting to new challenges. By adopting a mindset of continuous improvement, you ensure that your own progress is both sustainable and dynamic. Every interaction, every book, and every conversation with someone who inspires you is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Building a Personal Growth Routine
To truly benefit from the insights of your role models, consider creating a personal growth routine that incorporates regular reflection, goal-setting, and strategic planning. This could include:
- Daily Reflection: Spend a few minutes each day contemplating what you learned from your role models and how you can apply those insights.
- Weekly Strategy Sessions: Dedicate time each week to review your progress, reassess your goals, and adjust your strategy based on new learnings.
- Periodic Deep Dives: Occasionally, take a deep dive into a role model’s work—read their books, listen to their interviews, or analyze their case studies—to uncover new perspectives.
7. Conclusion: Disrupting the Way We Think About Role Models
In rethinking the way we approach role models, we challenge deeply entrenched norms about success. No longer do we have to accept the notion that we must either blindly admire distant icons or settle for generic motivational platitudes that fail to address the nuances of our own situation. Instead, we have the opportunity to curate a set of role models whose journeys resonate with our own and whose insights can be practically applied to our unique challenges.
Rethinking Influence in the Age of Information
In today’s fast-paced, ever-evolving world, information is abundant, and the paths to success are more varied than ever before. The traditional, one-size-fits-all approach to role models is not only outdated but also counterproductive. By being more strategic in our selection—focusing on those who are just a few steps ahead, valuing diversity of thought, and embracing cross-industry inspiration—we empower ourselves to innovate in ways that are both authentic and effective.
The Compass That Guides Innovation
As we wrap up this exploration, remember that your role model’s journey should serve as a compass, guiding you towards new horizons, rather than a fixed map dictating every step. Their successes, failures, and adaptations are there to inspire you, to help you understand that every breakthrough starts with a willingness to learn, iterate, and innovate. Whether you’re scaling the heights of your industry or venturing into uncharted territories, the wisdom of those who have achieved what you aspire to can be your most valuable asset—if only you approach it with strategic intent and an open mind.

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“I am an experienced medical doctor – MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach (dip.) Life Story Coach (cert.) Counselling (cert.) Med Hypnotherapy (dip.) and EAGALA (cert.) I may have an impressive number of letters after my name, and more than three decades of professional experience, but what qualifies me to excel at what I do is my intuitive understanding of my clients’ difficulties and my extensive personal experience of managing major life changes using strategies I developed over many years” Dr M Montagu