What is Compassion Fatigue?

How do we know if we have it and how do we recognise it in others?

You know that feeling when your phone battery drops to 1%, and you’re desperately searching for a charger? That’s kind of how compassion fatigue feels – except it’s your emotional reserves running on empty. And unlike your phone, you can’t just plug yourself in for a quick recharge.

Working with my iNFINITE iMPACT Mentoring Program clients, I’ve noticed something fascinating: the more successful people become, the harder it gets for them to maintain their emotional bandwidth.

The Hidden Cost of Caring

Traditionally, we’ve thought of compassion fatigue as something that affects healthcare workers and therapists. But here’s the game-changing reality I’ve observed: it’s becoming increasingly prevalent among successful professionals navigating complex personal and professional relationships. Think about it – you’re the go-to person for your team’s problems, your partner’s concerns, your kids’ challenges, and your friends’ crises. Sound familiar?

Louise stood at the hospital window, watching the city lights blur through exhausted eyes. Her phone buzzed in her pocket—another email from work, another deadline she’d likely miss. She silenced it. None of it mattered right now. Her father was asleep in the bed behind her, his frail body rising and falling with shallow breaths. The beeping of machines filled the silence between them.

For years, she had managed everything flawlessly—her thriving career in corporate law, her parents’ declining health, the endless appointments, the late-night hospital runs. But something had changed. It wasn’t the exhaustion—she’d learned to function on empty. It was numbness.

She used to feel something when she held her mother’s hand, when she wiped her father’s mouth after he struggled with his soup. Now, she just did it. Automatic. Like a machine. She wasn’t sure when love had turned into obligation, when devotion had hardened into duty.

“Miss Carter?” a nurse said gently. Louise turned, blinking. “Your father’s test results just came in. The doctor will be here soon.”

She nodded, barely listening. She already knew how this story ended. First her mother, then him. And her, stuck in the middle, pouring from an empty cup.

Her phone vibrated again. This time, a message from her assistant: The partners are asking if you’re coming back this week.

Louise clenched the phone in her palm. She was always needed. At work. At home.

A small cough came from the bed. Her father’s eyelids fluttered. She rushed to his side, forcing a smile. “Hey, Dad.”

He blinked at her, eyes watery with confusion. “Where’s your mother?”

Louise swallowed the lump in her throat. “She’s… she’s resting.”

A pause. Then a slow, knowing nod. His hand, papery thin, reached for hers. “You’re tired,” he murmured.

She let out a broken laugh. “Yeah, Dad. I am.”

The door opened, and the doctor stepped in, charts in hand. Louise knew she should listen, take notes, ask questions. But for the first time in years, she didn’t.

Because for the first time in years, she realised she couldn’t do this anymore.

Not like this.

With a deep breath, she reached for her phone—not to check emails, not to respond to work, but to text her brother.

I need help.

The Disruption of Traditional Support Systems

Here’s where things get complicated – and why this affects successful professionals differently than ever before. We’re living in an era where traditional support systems are being completely reimagined. The corner office doesn’t just come with a view anymore; it comes with an unspoken expectation of emotional availability that would make a therapist’s schedule look light.

Consider this: according to recent studies, executives spend an average of 18 hours per week handling relationship-based interactions outside their core responsibilities. That’s essentially a part-time job in emotional labour alone.

But what exactly is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is a form of emotional and physical exhaustion that arises from the prolonged stress of caring for others who are suffering. It’s often seen in professions such as healthcare, counselling, social work, and emergency services, but it can affect anyone who is continually exposed to the pain or trauma of others.

“A term parallel to burnout in some ways, yet distinct, Figley identified the concept of compassion fatigue: “the natural consequent behaviours and emotions resulting from knowing about a traumatising event experienced by a significant other – the stress resulting from helping or wanting to help a traumatised or suffering person” – Thomas M. Skovholt and Michelle Trotter-Mathison

How do I Know If I Have It?

• Emotional Signs: Feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or numb. You might also notice increased irritability, cynicism, or a sense of hopelessness.
• Physical Symptoms: Unexplained headaches, fatigue, sleep disturbances, or other stress-related ailments.
• Behavioural Changes: A decline in your ability to empathize, withdrawal from social interactions, or a decrease in job satisfaction.
• Cognitive Signs: Difficulty concentrating, making more mistakes, or feeling like you’re “running on empty.”
• Self-Assessment Tools: Instruments like the Professional Quality of Life (ProQOL) Scale can help gauge the balance between the positive aspects of caregiving (compassion satisfaction) and the negative aspects (compassion fatigue and burnout).

How do I recognise It in someone else?

• Emotional Withdrawal: They might seem detached or less engaged than usual.
• Increased Cynicism: Look for signs of pessimism or a negative attitude about their work or the people they help.
• Physical Indicators: Notice if they frequently mention being overly tired, experiencing headaches, or other stress-related issues.
• Behavioural Shifts: They may avoid situations that once brought them joy or feel less fulfilled in their role.
• Changes in Work Performance: A drop in productivity or errors at work can be a signal, as well as an increase in absenteeism.

“There is some evidence to show that many individuals who provide care that they believe to be medically futile (care that will not lead to an eventual cure or a better quality of life) develop compassion fatigue and burnout.” – Vidette Todaro-Franceschi

In addition to the above, I’ve observed in my high-achieving clients:

The Digital Drain

Remember when checking your phone first thing in the morning felt exciting? Now each notification feels like someone making a withdrawal from your emotional bank account. If you’re finding yourself dreading opening messages, that’s not just digital fatigue – it’s a classic sign of compassion fatigue in our connected era.

The Success Paradox

Here’s something they don’t teach you in business school: the more successful you become, the more people need you. When you find yourself automatically saying “I’m fine” to dodge deeper conversations, that’s your compassion reserves waving a white flag.

The Transition Tax

Life transitions – whether it’s a promotion, relocation, or relationship change – act like emotional amplifiers. They don’t just challenge us; they challenge our capacity to care for others during our own upheaval. It’s like trying to fill others’ cups while your own pitcher is empty.

The Wealthy Professional’s Paradox

Success often means you’re everyone’s rock, but who’s yours? I’ve seen countless successful professionals struggle with this. They can organize million-dollar deals but feel completely disorganized when it comes to managing their emotional energy.

Here’s my controversial take: the traditional advice of “get better at setting boundaries” isn’t cutting it anymore. Instead, we need to develop what I call “Dynamic Emotional Asset Management” – treating your compassion like the valuable resource it is.

How?

A few suggestions below:

• The 60/40 Rule: Forget work-life balance – we need emotional-investment balance. Allocate 60% of your emotional energy to your core relationships and responsibilities, leaving 40% in reserve. This isn’t selfish; it’s sustainable.
• The Transition Buffer Zone: During major life changes, create what I call a “compassion buffer zone” – a predetermined period where you consciously adjust your emotional availability. Think of it like changing your emotional timezone gradually rather than all at once.
• The Reality Check Registry: Start keeping track of your emotional expenses like you would your financial ones. Where are you investing your compassion? What’s the return on that investment? This isn’t about becoming calculated – it’s about becoming conscious.
• Digital Boundaries 2.0: Instead of the usual “turn off notifications” advice, create compassion-specific communication windows. Let people know when you’re emotionally available, just like you would with your business hours.
• The Empathy Investment Strategy: Start treating your compassion like an investment portfolio. Diversify your emotional investments, ensure you have reserves, and most importantly, make sure you’re getting returns in terms of meaningful connections.
• The Transition Toolkit: During life changes, implement what I call the “emotional escrow” system – holding some compassion in reserve specifically for managing the transition, before distributing it to others.

A New Framework for the Future

As we navigate an increasingly complex world, the way we think about and manage compassion fatigue needs to evolve. It’s not just about surviving; it’s about thriving while maintaining our capacity to care.

We need compassion fatigue-specific screening tools, in addition to the Professional Quality of Life Scale (ProQOL), effective boundary-setting programs, and interventions focused on resilience-building to address compassion fatigue effectively.

Click here to take the Professional Quality of Life Scale (ProQOL).

Setting emotional boundaries can help us avoid Compassion Fatigue

• By establishing clear boundaries, you can protect yourself from being overwhelmed by others’ emotions, maintaining your own emotional equilibrium.
• Boundaries allow you to say no to unreasonable requests, reducing feelings of overwhelm. This helps manage stress levels and increases resilience.
• Setting and maintaining boundaries increases self-respect, strengthening your sense of self-worth and identity.
• Clear boundaries foster healthier interactions based on mutual respect, leading to stronger, more supportive relationships. These positive connections can serve as a buffer during challenging times.
• Boundaries act as a shield against emotional manipulation or negativity from others, allowing you to manage your emotions more effectively.
• The process of setting boundaries requires self-awareness, helping you clarify your values, needs, and limits. This increased self-awareness is crucial for building resilience.
• By setting limits, you preserve your emotional energy for things that truly matter to you, avoiding emotional drain from situations or people that don’t align with your values.
• Boundaries give you a sense of control over your life, allowing you to choose what you allow into your emotional space.

By implementing these boundary-setting practices, you can develop greater emotional resilience, enabling you to better navigate life’s challenges and avoid compassion fatigue.

Final Thoughts

Acknowledging your compassion fatigue isn’t admitting defeat – it’s accepting that you’re human, even if your professional life sometimes requires you to be superhuman. By innovating how we approach this challenge, we can maintain our success without sacrificing our souls.

It’s not about having endless emotional resources – it’s about being smarter with the resources we have.

As you navigate your own transitions and challenges, remember: your capacity for compassion is one of your most valuable assets. Treat it accordingly. After all, in a world that increasingly depends on AI, our ability to genuinely care for others remains irreplaceably human. And embracing that humanity might be the most innovative thing you can do today.

Let’s start treating our emotional well-being with the same sophistication we bring to our professional lives. Because at the end of the day, true success isn’t just about what you achieve – it’s about how much of yourself you have left to enjoy it.

Citations

Campbell, D. (2020). The myth of compassion fatigue. In The violence of the image (pp. 97-124). Routledge.

Gustafsson, T., & Hemberg, J. (2022). Compassion fatigue as bruises in the soul: A qualitative study on nurses. Nursing ethics, 29(1), 157-170.

Nolte, A. G., Downing, C., Temane, A., & Hastings‐Tolsma, M. (2017). Compassion fatigue in nurses: A meta-synthesis. Journal of clinical nursing, 26(23-24), 4364-4378.

Stevens, K., & Al-Abbadey, M. (2024). Compassion fatigue and global compassion fatigue in practitioner psychologists: a qualitative study. Current Psychology, 43(8), 7259-7274.