Why Do We Volunteer for Life Transitions?

Choosing to go through more than one Major Life Change at the same time

I have often asked myself this question. Why complicate life when I’m already struggling through one life transition, by volunteering for another? With the launch of my new From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground during a Life Quake retreat, I am asking myself this very question, yet again. Why take my business in a new direction, loaded with risk, when I have serious health issues?

When we opt for a life transition, it’s like flipping the Monopoly board and saying, “I don’t want to pass Go, I want to own Boardwalk.” It’s about taking control of the narrative. It’s terrifying. I’ve got people around me saying things like, “But why would you change a formula that works perfectly well?” or “You’re giving up stability for what, unpredictability?” But that’s the thing about choosing a transition—it’s not about the transition itself. It’s about knowing there’s something more out there, even if I can’t explain it to anyone else yet, something that will improve my life and in the long run, be seriously beneficial to my health.

Possible Meaning

A voluntary life transition is a self-initiated change that alters the trajectory of your life. Unlike forced transitions—job losses, illness, or unexpected break-ups—voluntary transitions are intentional choices driven by a desire for change.

Initiating a Major Life Change is about taking ownership of your story and betting on your ability to navigate the unknown. While this choice involves risk, it also carries immense potential for growth, satisfaction, and alignment with your authentic self.

These transitions can range from monumental to subtle:

• Career shifts: Leaving a secure job to pursue a passion or start a business, ex. a corporate executive quits their high-paying job to start a non-profit addressing a cause close to their heart.
• Relocation: Moving to a new city, state, or country to explore new opportunities or lifestyles ex. a city dweller decides to leave the urban grind for a quieter, simpler life in the countryside.
• Relationship changes: Choosing to leave a relationship that no longer serves you, ex. you choose to step away from a long-term relationship, not out of conflict, but because you feel it’s holding both partners back from their potential.
• Personal growth decisions: Committing to a lifestyle overhaul, like adopting a healthier routine or pursuing higher education later in life.

That’s all fairly clear, but why do this when we are already trying to cope with job losses, health challenges, relationship endings, and countless other involuntary transitions that kick us out of our comfort zone? We often choose to pile on additional major life changes during these already turbulent times. A new parent might decide to switch careers. Someone going through a divorce might move to a different city. A person facing health challenges might embark on a spiritual journey.

Possible Reasons

When life forces change upon us, we often respond by seeking even more change – a pattern that might seem counterintuitive at first glance.

When involuntary changes disrupt our lives, we often feel powerless. Choosing additional transitions can be a way of trying to regain control of our lives. By actively deciding to make changes, we transform ourselves from victims of circumstance into active participants in our life’s direction.

When life throws us off course, we sometimes start asking ourselves questions about the meaning of our lives which can lead to voluntary changes as we attempt to align our lives more closely with our evolving understanding of what matters most.

Possible Benefits

While it might seem unwise to add voluntary challenges to involuntary ones, this pattern may actually represent an adaptive response. When we’re already in a state of flux, we’re often more capable of fundamental transformation than during periods of stability. For example:

• The health crisis that leads to a complete lifestyle overhaul
• The job loss that inspires a long-desired career change
• The end of a relationship that catalyses a geographical move

However, choosing to go through a life transition isn’t without its risks. Adding voluntary transitions to involuntary ones can overwhelm our cognitive and emotional resources, strain our support systems, and complicate the adaptation process.

The key lies in distinguishing between opportunistic transitions and impulsive ones. Before volunteering for additional life changes during turbulent times, consider:

• Whether the change aligns with your long-term goals
• If your support system can handle the additional stress
• Whether the timing leverages the current disruption or merely adds to it
• If you’re running toward something or away from something

Possible Solutions

Coping with more than one life transition at a time can be challenging. I usually follow the suggestions below (roughly) except, of course, for the last one.)

1. Clarify Your Why: Understand the deeper reasons behind your desire for change. Is it about fulfilment, growth, or a need for authenticity?
2. Plan Strategically: While spontaneity has its place, a solid plan can make the transition smoother. Consider finances, timelines, and resources.
3. Accept the Discomfort: Transitions are rarely smooth. Embrace uncertainty as a sign of progress, not failure.
4. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who encourage your journey, even if they don’t fully understand it.
5. Stay Committed: Doubts will arise, but remind yourself why you chose this path. The rewards often come after the hardest parts.
6. And if you struggle to stay committed why not attend a From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground during a Life Quake retreat here in the sun-blessed south of France? Walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostela is more often than not a life-changing experience.

Possible Pattern

A voluntary transition is a fascinating process that many of us go through, often without realising there’s a pattern to it.

The Contemplation Phase is where it all begins. This is when you start feeling that itch for change. Maybe, you’ve lost your job and you’re daydreaming about a new career, or your relationship has ended and you find yourself browsing real estate listings in a city you’ve always wanted to live in. During this phase, you’re weighing pros and cons, imagining “what if” scenarios, and trying to picture yourself in this new life. It can be exciting, but it can also be seriously scary. You might talk to friends or family about your ideas, seeking their input or validation. This phase can last anywhere from a few weeks to several years, depending on the magnitude of the change and your personal circumstances.

Then comes the Leap of Faith. This is the moment when you decide, “Yes, I’m really doing this!” It’s exhilarating and terrifying all at once. You might feel a rush of adrenaline as you submit your resignation letter, sign up for that degree program, or put your house on the market. This phase is often accompanied by a mix of emotions – enthusiasm for the future, pride in taking control of your life, but also perhaps a twinge of nostalgia or fear about leaving your comfort zone.

Next up is what I like to call the Wrestling Chaos phase. This is where the rubber meets the road, and you start dealing with the nitty-gritty details of your transition. If you’re changing careers, you might be juggling job applications, interviews, and maybe some additional training. If you’re moving, you’re dealing with packing, finding a new place to live, and saying goodbye to familiar faces. This phase can be stressful and overwhelming at times. You might have moments of doubt, wondering if you’ve made the right choice. But it’s also a time of incredible growth and learning.

Finally, you reach the New Order phase. This is when things start to settle down, and you begin to find your rhythm in your new reality. If you’ve moved, you’re starting to feel at home in your new city. If you’ve changed careers, you’re getting comfortable in your new role. This phase is about integration and establishing new routines. You might look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come. There’s often a sense of accomplishment and renewed energy.

It’s important to remember that your path isn’t always linear. You might bounce back and forth between phases, or experience them in a different order. And each phase comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. The contemplation phase requires patience and self-reflection. The leap of faith demands courage. Wrestling chaos calls for resilience and problem-solving skills. And establishing a new order takes time and persistence.

Throughout this journey, it’s crucial to be kind to yourself. Voluntary transitions are bold moves, and they’re not always easy, especially against the background of an existing life transition. But they offer incredible opportunities for personal growth, self-discovery, and creating a life that aligns with your values and aspirations.

Case Study: Sarah’s Story – From Corporate Stability to Entrepreneurial Freedom

Sarah’s story exemplifies how involuntary transitions often catalyze voluntary ones. At 42, she was navigating a difficult divorce after 15 years of marriage when she made a decision that surprised even herself: leaving her secure position as a marketing executive to start her own consulting business.

“The divorce wasn’t my choice,” Sarah explains. “But once my personal life was in upheaval, I realised I had been using my marriage’s stability as an excuse to stay in a career that no longer fulfilled me. If I was rebuilding my life anyway, why not rebuild it exactly as I wanted?”

The timing seemed counterintuitive to many. Her friends and family questioned whether adding career uncertainty to personal upheaval was wise. She had a mortgage to pay and the divorce was already straining her finances. Yet Sarah felt an unexpected clarity amid the chaos.

She used her severance package as seed money and leveraged her existing professional network to secure her first clients. The flexible schedule of self-employment actually helped her better manage divorce proceedings and emotional recovery. While the first year brought significant challenges – including several months of minimal income – Sarah found that the professional challenges provided a welcome distraction from her personal transition.

“Starting my business gave me back a sense of control when my personal life felt uncontrollable,” she reflects. “Yes, it was scary, but I was already facing my fears in other areas. What was one more?”

Three years later, Sarah’s consulting firm is thriving, and she notes that both transitions – though painful – led to necessary growth. “Looking back, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to start my own business if my life hadn’t already been disrupted. The divorce forced me to reimagine my future, and once I was doing that, I decided to reimagine everything.”

Final Thoughts

Voluntary life transitions are a testament to human resilience. They’re proof that sometimes, the biggest changes in life aren’t the ones forced upon us, but the ones we choose, even when it’s painful. Staying in the same place might be easier, but let’s face it: easy eventually does get boring. Choosing a transition is how we keep life spicy—it’s the jalapeño on our otherwise bland nachos of existence.

Why do we choose to jump into another transition when we are already caught up in a barely manageable one? Because waiting around for life to force the issue feels like slow suffocation by mediocrity. It’s better to choose the chaos, own the chaos, and come out the other side saying, “Yeah, it was wild—but I made it.”

So, if you’ve been hearing that whisper to take the leap—to quit, to move, to start, to let go—listen. You might just find that the life you’ve been waiting for is on the other side of the decision only you can make.