Tell Me Your Life Story

How Your Self-Narrative Can Help You Discover Your Life Purpose

Have you ever stopped to think about the story you tell yourself about your life? Not the one you share at parties or job interviews—the polished, edited self-promotional version—but the one that runs like a voiceover in your head as you reflect on where you’ve been, who you are now, and where you’re headed.

Your Self-Narrative

That story is your self-narrative or narrative identity, and it’s much more powerful than you might think.

From the moment we’re born, our brains start building a framework for how the world works. At first, it’s shaped by our parents, caregivers, and whatever cultural soup we’re simmering in. Later, it’s influenced by teachers, friends, media, and whoever else shoves their two cents into our developing worldview. The result? We form beliefs—about life, about other people, and about ourselves.

These beliefs become the story we tell ourselves. Our script. Who we think we are. And we don’t even realise that it’s just a story. “It is what it is” we tall ourselves.” Something happens, and instead of experiencing it as it is, we run it through our filters. We slap meaning onto it based on our existing blueprint—the one our brain created years ago—and we don’t give it another thought.

By the time we hit adulthood, we’re all carrying around this “narrative” in our heads. It’s our personal storybook, complete with characters, villains, triumphs, and tragedies. Our brain uses this script to navigate the world, constantly trying to make sense of what’s happening and predict what’s next. When life implodes, we refer back to the script for answers: What does this mean? What should I do?

And here’s where it gets sneaky. Our brains don’t like surprises. They don’t like uncertainty. So they cling to the script like it’s gospel truth—even when it’s holding us back. The brain’s job is to prove you right. If you believe something, it will zero in on evidence that confirms it. You think life is hard? Boom, here’s some proof. You believe you’re unworthy of success? Well, hello self-sabotage. It’s a vicious cycle: you expect life to be a certain way, and your brain works overtime to make sure you’re not “wrong.” Your belief gets reinforced, the story gets stronger, and around we go.

… Until you decide to rewrite it.

Here’s the big secret: you can intercept the story. You can trick your brain into building a new blueprint. Change the script, and suddenly everything shifts. Your expectations change, and your brain—ever the loyal detective—starts finding evidence to prove this new story true.

You’ll begin to see life differently. Opportunities where you saw obstacles. Possibilities where you saw limitations. Your brain will do what it does best: it’ll make you right.

And just like that, the story changes.

We are all storytellers at heart. The stories we tell about our lives help us make sense of what we experience. They shape our sense of self, our decisions, and even our ability to find purpose in what we do. Whether we’re overcoming a challenge, starting fresh, or trying to figure out what comes next, understanding our self-narrative can be the key to getting unstuck and finding new direction.

So, let’s talk about how you can use your story to get closer to discovering your life purpose.

Life Purpose and Your Self-Narrative

So, where does life purpose come into all this? Well, discovering your purpose often starts with understanding your story.

Life purpose isn’t something you magically stumble upon one day. It’s something you uncover by reflecting on your experiences, connecting the dots, and noticing the themes and values that keep showing up in your life.

Here’s how self-narrative plays a role:

1. It helps you identify what matters to you: When you look back at your story, certain themes will stand out. Maybe you’ve always felt drawn to helping others, creating beauty, or seeking adventure. These themes are clues to your values and purpose.
2. It reframes challenges as part of your growth: The struggles you’ve faced can become meaningful chapters in your story. Rather than seeing them as failures or setbacks, you can see them as the experiences that shaped who you are and prepared you for what’s next.
3. It reveals your unique strengths and gifts: Every good story has a main character with certain qualities that make them who they are. When you reflect on your life, you can identify your own strengths—whether that’s resilience, creativity, empathy, or determination—and how you can use them in a purposeful way.
4. It shows you how far you’ve come: Sometimes we forget to acknowledge the progress we’ve made. Your story can remind you of the challenges you’ve overcome and the growth you’ve experienced, which can give you the confidence to take the next step.

How to Rewrite Your Story to Find Purpose in Life

The best thing about your self-narrative is that it’s not set in stone. You have the power to rewrite it. If the story you’ve been telling yourself feels limiting, disempowering, or stuck in the past, you can change it.

1. Reflect on Your Current Narrative

Start by examining your existing life story. What narrative have you been telling yourself about your life? Are there limiting beliefs or recurring patterns that have defined your past? Reflect on how your experiences—both good and bad—have shaped your current perspective. By identifying these elements, you gain clarity on where you are now and where you want to go. Ask yourself:

• What are the key moments—the turning points—that shaped who I am today?
• What challenges have I faced, and what did I learn from them?
• Who were the people who influenced me, for better or worse?
• What have been the happiest, most fulfilling moments in my life?

2. Identify Meaningful Moments

Look for significant experiences that have had a deep impact on you. These moments include times that brought you genuine joy and fulfillment, challenged you to grow, or made you feel most alive and passionate. Pay attention to experiences that created a sense of connection with others or allowed you to make an impact. These meaningful moments often hold clues to your purpose.

3. Uncover Your Core Values

Reflect deeply on what truly matters to you. What principles and beliefs do you hold most dear? Ask yourself what causes you would stand up for, and which experiences make you feel most authentic. Your core values act as a compass, guiding your decisions and helping you align your life with what you hold meaningful.

4. Recognise Your Unique Strengths

Take time to assess your natural talents and capabilities. What comes easily to you, and what do others consistently praise you for? Think about the skills you enjoy using and the activities that make you lose track of time. Recognizing these strengths not only boosts your confidence but also helps you see where you can create the most value in the world.

5. Reframe Past Challenges

Difficult experiences can be powerful teachers when viewed through the right lens. Reflect on how your struggles have shaped your character and what lessons you can extract from past setbacks. By reframing these challenges, you can transform them into sources of wisdom and resilience that inform your path forward. Now, ask yourself:

• How can I reframe this experience as something that helped me grow?
• What did I learn, and how has it shaped who I am today?

For example: Instead of saying, “I failed at my last business,” you might reframe it as, “That experience taught me resilience, resourcefulness, and what not to do next time.”

6. Craft a New Narrative

Now it’s time to begin reconstructing your life story. Write a new personal mission statement that reflects who you are and what you want to become. Visualise the impact you want to make and create a narrative that connects your past experiences to your desired future. Focus on your potential rather than your limitations—this is your chance to rewrite your story through a lens of possibility. Ask yourself:

• Who do I want to become?
• What do I want to create, contribute, or experience?
• How can I use my strengths and values to live a more purposeful life?

Write this next chapter as if it’s already happening. Be specific, vivid, and optimistic.

7. Look for Recurrent Themes

Once you’ve written down your story, read it over and look for recurring themes. To make it easier, I have listed below the most common themes found in life stories:

1. Overcoming Adversity: You focus on the challenges you faced and how you surmounted them, demonstrating your growing resilience.
2. Personal Transformation: You highlight significant changes in beliefs, values, or lifestyle that shaped your identity.
3. Quest for Purpose: You explore the journey of discovering the meaning and direction of your life.
4. Relationships and Connections: You examine how interpersonal bonds have influenced your identity formation.
5. Cultural Heritage: You investigate the impact of your cultural background on your sense of self.
6. Redemption and Second Chances: You emphasise moments of failure or setback followed by redemption or positive change.
7. Personal Agency: You focus on instances where you took control of your life and made impactful decisions.
8. Exploration and Discovery: Yu highlight experiences of learning, travel, or self-discovery that shaped your worldview.
9. Professional Journey: You trace the development of your career or vocation and its influence on your identity.
10. Intergenerational Legacy: You examine how family history and inherited values have contributed to your sense of self.

Themes can help structure your story and provide insight into your narrative identity, integrating past experiences, present perceptions, and future aspirations.

These themes are like breadcrumbs leading you toward your life purpose.

8. Explore Potential Purposes

Finding purpose is often an exploratory process. Be open to trying new experiences, volunteering for causes you care about, or taking personal development courses. Engage in conversations with inspiring people who can offer new perspectives. Sometimes, experimenting with small, meaningful actions can lead you closer to discovering a purpose that feels right.

9. Take Aligned Action

Transform your new narrative into concrete steps that move you toward your purpose. Set goals that reflect what you’ve discovered about yourself, and make small, consistent changes to align your life with these goals. Be open to unexpected opportunities, and regularly reassess and adjust your path as you continue to grow.

10. Get External Perspectives

Gaining insights from others can be invaluable during this process. Discuss your journey with trusted friends, mentors, or supportive communities. Consider working with a life coach who can guide you through this transformation. Additionally, reading inspirational stories of purpose-driven individuals can help you see new possibilities for your own life.

Step-by-Step Guide to Rewriting Your Life Story

1. Spot the Old Script: Start by identifying the story you’ve been telling yourself—about who you are, what you’re capable of, and how life works.
2. Challenge the Narrative: Question where that story came from and whether it’s even true. Spoiler: It probably isn’t.
3. Define Your New Story: Decide what you want to believe about yourself and your life instead. Write it as if it’s already true.
4. Collect the Receipts: Train your brain to find evidence that supports this new story. It’s out there—you just haven’t been looking for it.
5. Live It Out Loud: Show up as the person in your new story. Make choices that align with the version of you who already believes this new narrative.

5 Journaling Prompts to Flip the Script

1. What’s the story I’ve been telling myself about my life?
   • Write out the beliefs you’ve been carrying around. What do you believe about your worth, your abilities, and the world around you? Where did these beliefs come from (parents, culture, school, past experiences)?
2. What’s one major “plotline” from my story that feels heavy, limiting, or untrue?
   • Maybe it’s “I’m not good enough to succeed” or “Life always has to be a struggle.” Be specific about what this story sounds like in your head. What moments or experiences reinforced it?
3. What evidence do I have that this old story isn’t the whole truth?
   • Challenge the old narrative. When have you proven yourself wrong? List times you were brave, successful, loved, or capable—no matter how small.
4. What would my life look like if I rewrote this story?
   • Write your new narrative as if it’s already happening. Who are you in this version? How do you feel? How do you act? Be as bold and detailed as possible.
5. What’s one small action I can take this week to live out my new story?
   • A new story needs new evidence. What’s a tiny step—something you can actually do—to prove your new beliefs to yourself? Write it down and commit to it.

Example:
Old Story: “I’ll always be stuck in the same place.”
New Story: “I am someone who creates opportunities for myself, and growth is always available to me.”
Small Action: Reach out to one person I admire and ask for advice or guidance.

Your story doesn’t have to stay the same just because it’s comfortable. Flip the script, take the pen, and write a version you actually want to live.

Your Life Story is a work in Progress

Remember, finding your life purpose is not a destination but a continuous process of self-discovery, and re-alignment. Your purpose often lies at the intersection of:

• What you love
• What you’re good at
• What the world needs
• What you can be paid for

By rewriting your story, you’re not erasing your past but reinterpreting it through a lens of possibility, potential, and personal empowerment. Allow yourself to embrace this journey, and trust that your unique path will unfold in its own time.

You are the author, and you have the power to rewrite the parts that no longer serve you. The challenges you’ve faced, the lessons you’ve learned, the dreams you still hold—they are all part of a bigger, meaningful journey.

By reflecting on your self-narrative, you can uncover the themes, values, and strengths that point you toward your life purpose. You can start to see your story not as a series of random events, but as a path leading you exactly where you need to go.

Take some time to reflect, write it down, and let your story guide you forward. Because your life purpose is waiting, and it’s closer than you think.

References

Mcadams, Dan & McLean, Kate. (2013). Narrative Identity. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 22. 233-238. 10.1177/0963721413475622.

Hyden, Lars Christer. (2010). Identity, self, narrative. 10.1075/sin.11.03hyd.