During a Life Transition: Make Thanksgiving Less Stressful

Do Something Different this Year (see the end of this post)

Thanksgiving: the season of Gratitude, Gatherings, and Glorious Food.

For many, it’s a day filled with tradition, joy, and perhaps a competitive round of family board games. But what happens when life feels… impossibly complicated? Maybe you’ve moved to a new city, you’re facing an enforced career change, starting a new business, getting a divorce, lost a loved one, or have an empty nest – any substantial change -planned or unplanned – in your circumstances. Celebrating Thanksgiving during a tough life transition can feel like juggling fireballs. The good news? Even when you feel you have NOTHING to be grateful for, celebrating Thanksgiving when life isn’t quite going according to plan is not impossible—I’ll show you what you can do to get through this holiday in one piece.

Here in France, we do not celebrate Thanksgiving, or rather, the French do not celebrate Thanksgiving. Most American expats do celebrate Thanksgiving so this post is especially for these brave souls. Brave, because moving to a different country is not for the faint-hearted which may be why I often see expats at my From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during Life Quakes Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. This retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

Quick, before you move on to the rest of the post, do a Gratitude Countdown: rapidly list ten things you’re grateful for in a countdown format – give yourself 15 seconds. List “micro-gratitudes”: tiny things, like a warm cup of tea or a funny meme from a friend. This powerful exercise can quickly lift your mood, even in the most challenging situations.

Celebrating Thanksgiving during a Major Life Crisis

With a grateful, generous heart and lots of good humour:

Embrace the Chaos

Life transitions often come with chaos—whether it’s moving to a new city, dealing with a breakup, or adjusting to the loss of a loved one. Instead of striving for a picture-perfect Thanksgiving, rejoice in the chaos:

• Let Go of Perfection: Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look like it does on Instagram or in the glossy magazine spreads. If your turkey burns or the pie doesn’t set, laugh it off! Remember, it’s about being together and sharing moments, not about culinary perfection. If you’re going solo, go easy on yourself. Order takeout, try a no-cook meal, or embrace the “Thanksgiving taco” trend (turkey + stuffing + tortilla = new culinary delight).
• Create a “Thanksgiving Fails” Tradition: Gather your friends or family and share your funniest Thanksgiving disasters from years past. This can lighten the mood and remind everyone that nobody’s holiday is perfect.

Start New Traditions

When going through a life transition, especially in a country where it isn’t celebrated, old traditions may feel unfamiliar. Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be the Norman Rockwell painting of yore. Instead of clinging to what was, lean into what the day represents to you and consider starting new traditions that reflect your current situation:

• Volunteer Together: If you’re feeling lonely or disconnected, consider spending part of your day volunteering at a local soup kitchen or food bank. Restos du Coeur here in France is a good option. Not only will you be giving back, but you’ll also be surrounded by others who are looking to spread kindness.
• Host a Friendsgiving: If family gatherings feel overwhelming, invite new friends over for a casual meal. This can be a potluck-style event where everyone brings their favorite dish. It’s an excellent way to create new memories while enjoying the company of those who uplift you.

Reflect on What Makes You Grateful

Even during tough times, there are always things to be grateful for. Take some time to reflect on these positives:

• Gratitude Journaling: Before the festivities begin, spend some time writing down what you’re thankful for this year. It could be as simple as having good health or supportive friends. Sharing these thoughts during dinner can increase connection and understanding.
• Focus on Small Joys: Instead of trying to find big things to be grateful for, focus on small joys—a warm cup of coffee, a funny movie, or even just the beauty of this year’s autumn leaves. Celebrating these little moments can lift your mood significantly.

Keep It Lighthearted

Laughter really is the best medicine—even if it’s over the absurdity of trying to carve a frozen turkey with a dull knife. Finding humour in challenging situations can make them feel much more manageable. Keep things light with:

• Funny Thanksgiving Games: Incorporate games that make you laugh—like “Thanksgiving Charades” or “Turkey Trivia.” These activities can break the ice and create fun memories.
• Thanksgiving Movie Marathon: Host a movie night featuring classic Thanksgiving films like “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” or “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.” These light-hearted films can provide much-needed comic relief.

Support Your Support System

Getting through tough transitions is easier when you have support:

• Reach Out: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family during this time. Share your feelings about the holiday and let them know how they can help make it easier for you. Ask how you can help them helping others always makes me feel a bit happier. If you’re physically or emotionally distant from loved ones this year, an awkward FaceTime dinner might not be your dream scenario, but hey, you can mute Uncle Joe if he brings up politics – and this year, just after the election, he most certainly will.
• Create Your Own Community: If you’re far from home or feeling isolated, seek out local groups that celebrate Thanksgiving together. This could be through social media platforms or community centres.

Gratefully Reflect on Your Journey

Thanksgiving often prompts reflection, but if you’re going through a tough time, looking back can feel like opening a can of worms instead of cranberry sauce. Even if you’re in a difficult place right now:

• Gratefully acknowledge Your Growth: Reflect on how far you’ve come during this transition. Celebrate small victories—whether it’s getting through another day or making it through an emotional storm.
• Set Intentions for the Future: Use this time not just to reflect on what has been lost but also to set intentions for what you hope to achieve in the future.

Remember that it’s okay not to have everything figured out—Thanksgiving is about gathering together with love and laughter amidst life’s ups and downs. So this year, let go of expectations and allow yourself to celebrate in whatever way feels right for you!

Going through transitions can be exhausting, so give yourself permission to indulge. Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be all about serving others—it can also be a day to pamper yourself.

Now we get to the “Do Something Different This Year” part: Celebrate Thanksgiving by being Grateful towards Yourself

Practising gratitude towards yourself this Thanksgiving is a powerful way to enhance your well-being and engage a positive mindset, especially during overwhelming times. This is how you do it:

Allow Yourself to Feel

• Practice Self-Compassion: Recognise that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated, irritable or sad. Allow yourself to experience those emotions without judgment. Remind yourself that feelings are valid and part of the human experience.
• Set Boundaries: If certain family dynamics are triggering stress, it’s perfectly acceptable to set boundaries about how much time you spend with certain relatives or what activities you participate in during the holiday.
• Incorporate Memories: If you’re grieving or missing someone special during the holidays, find ways to treasure their memory. You might light a candle in their honour or prepare their favourite dish as a tribute

Start a Self-Gratitude Journal

One of the simplest yet most impactful ways to practice self-gratitude is by maintaining a journal dedicated to acknowledging your own talents, skills, strengths and accomplishments. For example, “I appreciate the kindness I show to others.” and “I am thankful for my ability to adapt to change.”

Each morning and/or evening, take a few minutes to write down three things about yourself that you are grateful for. These can range from personal qualities, like your resilience or sense of humour, to achievements, no matter how small. Over time, this practice can help shift your focus from self-criticism to a more positive self-image.

Get Out and Dust Off Your Positive Affirmations

Say It Out Loud: Begin or end your day by stating positive affirmations about yourself. Speaking these affirmations aloud makes them more tangible and can boost your confidence. Use statements like:

• “I acknowledge the hard work I put into achieving my goals.”
• “I am grateful for my resilience and for how it keeps me going.”
• “I appreciate my ability to connect with others.”
• “I appreciate my creativity and how it enriches my life.”

This practice helps to cultivate a compassionate inner dialogue, reinforcing your self-worth.

Mindful Moments Filled with Gratitude

Mindfulness can deepen your appreciation for yourself by encouraging you to be present in the moment. Louise L. Hay said in Gratitude: A Way of Life,“I remain in awe (and profound relief) that no matter how overwhelming and scary this journey called “life” is, when I slow down enough, I realise that it’s all just made up of hundreds of thousands of “moments,” most of which are pretty darn wonderful if I just take the time to witness and appreciate them.”

• So set aside time each day to sit quietly and focus on your breath. As you breathe in and out, reflect on one thing about yourself that you appreciate. This could be a quality, an achievement, or even how you handled a situation during the day.
• Transform moments of waiting—like standing in line or waiting for coffee—to reflect on something positive about yourself. Use these pauses as opportunities to express gratitude for who you are and what you’ve achieved.
• Mindfully Capture Grateful Moments. Throughout the day, take photos of things that remind you of what you’re grateful for about yourself—this could be a delicious meal you prepared or a project you completed successfully.

Accept Compliments Gladly and Gracefully

Often, we downplay compliments or dismiss them entirely. Practising gratitude towards yourself includes recognising and accepting the positive feedback you receive from others. When someone gives you a compliment, practice saying “Thank you” instead of deflecting it. Just like “No,” “Thank you” is a full sentence. Allow yourself to feel the joy that comes from hearing such kind words and consider writing them down in your journal for future reference.

Indulge in Self-Care Activities

Self-care is an essential aspect of practising gratitude towards yourself. Taking time for activities that nourish your body and mind can reinforce feelings of appreciation.

• Joyful Movement: Go for a walk in nature or engage in any physical activity that you enjoy. Intentionally focus on appreciating your surroundings as well as yourself. Use this time to express gratitude for your physical abilities and the beauty around you. This not only improves your mood but also creates a deeper connection with yourself.
• Create a Gratitude Collage: Gather images, quotes, and words that resonate with what you appreciate about yourself and create a visual collage. This can serve as an inspiring reminder of your strengths and aspirations, making it easier to focus on gratitude when you see it regularly.
• Write a Gratitude Letter to Yourself expressing appreciation for who you are and what you’ve accomplished. Detail how you’ve grown over time and the challenges you’ve overcome.
• Be Grateful to Your Body by reflecting on what your body allows you to do rather than focusing on appearance. Write down things like:
  • “I am grateful that my legs allow me to walk and explore.”
  • “I appreciate my hands for their ability to create and nurture.”
• Set Daily Intentions: Each morning, set an intention that reflects self-appreciation. For instance, you might decide to be patient with yourself throughout the day. At the end of the day, reflect on how well you honoured this intention.

End Your Day with Gratitude

Closing your day with gratitude can set a positive tone for the next morning. Before bed, take inventory of what went well during Thanksgiving this year and what you especially appreciate about yourself. This could be as simple as recognising how well you handled a stressful situation or appreciating that deciding to make things simpler this year made Thanksgiving so much more enjoyable.

Ending the Post

Practising gratitude towards yourself is not only beneficial but essential for cultivating self-love and resilience during challenging times. By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can shift your mindset from one of overwhelm to one of appreciation. As Kristen Neff said in Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, “With self-appreciation, we don’t need to put others down to feel good about ourselves. I can appreciate my own achievements at the same time that I recognize yours. I can rejoice in your talents while also celebrating my own. Appreciation involves acknowledging the light in everyone, ourselves included.”

Finally, remind yourself that life transitions are temporary, even if they feel endless. Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be yours.