….and how Kindness can help You make and keep Friends
The idea when I started writing this post was to simply make a list of what I think are the 10 most meaningful kindness quotes.
I quickly discovered that limiting my list to 10 was impossible, and my list grew and grew, and will keep on growing as I add to it, long after I have published this post.
My retreat guests often ask me, How can I make friends? How do I maintain friendships? I found a kindness quote by Doris Lessing that I can now use to answer these questions: “Do you know what people really want? Everyone, I mean. Everybody in the world is thinking: I wish there was just one other person I could really talk to, who could really understand me, who’d be kind to me. That’s what people really want, if they’re telling the truth.”
This led me to formulate a quote of my own:
| “If you want to make friends, if you want to maintain friendships, life-long, be kind. Infinitely kind. Not only to your potential friends, but also to yourself, and to everyone else you meet. Because your potential friends will notice how you treat others, and how you treat yourself.” — Margaretha Montagu |
I came across Jane Goodall’s quote about the great apes (see below,) and I thought I should add kindness to animals to my quote. Because potential friends also note how you behave towards animals, as in “Compassion for animals is intimately associated with goodness of character, and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals cannot be a good man.” — Arthur Schopenhauer
So “Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.” — George Sand
My List of Most Meaningful Kindness Quotes
“We can not tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.” ― Ray Bradbury
“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik
“Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin
“I have found that it is the small everyday deed of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart
“Nothing,’ wrote Tolstoy, ‘can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.” ― Gretchen Rubin
“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” — Stephen Grellet
“People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness.” ― Sanaya Roman
“Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.” – Bob Kerrey
“Every small, unselfish action nudges the world into a better path. An accumulation of small acts can change the world.” ― Robin Hobb
“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” – Albert Schweitzer
“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” — William Wordsworth
“Help others without any reason and give without the expectation of receiving anything in return.” ― Roy T. Bennett
“We’re all born with selfish desires, so we can all relate to those feelings in others. But kindness is something made individually by each person…so it’s easy to misunderstand when others are trying to be kind to you.” ― Natsuki Takaya
“In what terms should we think of these beings, nonhuman yet possessing so very many human-like characteristics? How should we treat them? Surely we should treat them with the same consideration and kindness as we show to other humans; and as we recognize human rights, so too should we recognize the rights of the great apes? Yes.” ― Jane Goodall
“Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.” ― R.J. Palacio
“I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.” ― Neil Gaiman
How Can Kindness Help You Make and Keep Friends?
I have always known that kindness is a powerful tool for building and maintaining friendships. When we treat others with kindness, we show that we care about them: This can create trust, respect, and genuine connection.. Acts of kindness, whether small gestures like a warm, understanding smile, or a larger act like offering support during challenging times, draw people in and can result in a precious support network. Kindness breaks down barriers, making it easier to form new friendships based on mutual understanding.
Unmigitated kindness is essential for keeping friendships going over time. In any friendship, occasional misunderstandings are inevitable, but responding to these moments with kindness helps to resolve conflicts and strengthens the bond (which is valid for all relationships, not just friendships.) By consistently showing compassion, patience, and a willingness to forgive, you can create a stable foundation that can steadfastly weather the changes, challenges and transitions of life.
It is during times of change that we need our friends most.
I help people through major life changes, like redundancies, retirement, starting a business, embarking on a new career, coping with empty nests, loss of loved ones and illness, caring for ailing parents etc. during my Start a New Chapter retreats here in the sunblessed southwest of France. It is always noticeable how much better people cope with change when they maintain strong friendships.
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