Look, we’ve all seen those morning routines videos. You know the ones: someone wakes up at 4:47 AM looking suspiciously well-rested, drinks lemon water while watching the sunrise, journals their gratitude, does yoga on a pristine white rug with their adorable dog/cat/parrot, and somehow makes it to work looking like they’ve just stepped out of a wellness magazine photoshoot.
Meanwhile, the rest of us hit snooze seventeen times, stumble to the kitchen like caffeinated zombies, and consider it a win if we remember to put on matching socks.
Researching my Why do I need a Morning Routine? article, I discovered there is a whole world of morning routines out there that are actually… way out weird? Borderline unhinged?Stark, raving bonkers? You decide. Here are 22 unconventional ways to start your day that’ll make you either the most interesting person at brunch or someone people politely avoid making eye contact with. Your call.
Margaret’s Morning
5:45 AM: Margaret’s alarm goes off. But instead of groaning and reaching for her phone, she bolts upright, rips off her pajamas, and sprints directly to her backyard kiddie pool filled with ice water. Her neighbours have stopped calling the police.
5:50 AM: Emerging from the cold plunge, now thankfully wrapped in her dressing gown, Margaret stands barefoot on her lawn for exactly 11 minutes of “grounding.” Mrs. Henderson from next door waves. Margaret does not wave back—she’s in her silent non-communicative hour.
6:01 AM: Time for breakfast! Margaret, eyes closed, blindfolded for maximum sensory deprivation, attempts to eat yoghurt with her left hand (she’s right-handed). Approximately 40% makes it into her mouth. Her shirt bears the evidence of the other 60%.
6:15 AM: Margaret removes the blindfold and stands in front of her bathroom mirror for an intense session of mirror work affirmations. “You are POWERFUL, Margaret!” she shouts at her reflection. “You are a FORCE OF NATURE!” Her roommate texts from the other room: “plz stop i have a meeting in 10 min”
6:30 AM: Before allowing herself coffee, Margaret must solve today’s riddle: “What has keys but no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but can’t go inside?” She stares at her phone for eight minutes before finally Googling it. (It’s a keyboard. Obviously. She knew that.)
6:45 AM: Finally caffeinated, Margaret spends ten minutes plotting her random act of kindness for the day. She settles on leaving encouraging sticky notes in the office bathroom stalls.
7:00 AM: One full song of uninhibited dancing in her bedroom. Today’s selection: “Baby Shark.” She achieves spiritual enlightenment around the “doo doo doo doo doo doo” part.
Margaret arrives at work looking slightly disheveled, smelling faintly of grass and pool chlorine, with yoghurt on her collar. But is she ALIVE? Is she PRESENT? Of course she is.
Is she questioning the very fabric of reality before 8 AM?
You bet your gratitude journal she is.
The Morning Routines List: 22 Ways to Shake Up Your Morning
1. Cold plunge first thing – Jump into ice-cold water or a cold shower immediately upon waking to shock your system into alertness and boost circulation. Your nervous system will either thank you or file for divorce.
2. Morning silence hour – No phones, music, or talking for the first 60 minutes—just quiet contemplation and presence. Perfect for introverts or people avoiding their responsibilities.
3. Backward breakfast – Eat dessert for breakfast instead of traditional breakfast food. Life’s short. Have the cake.
4. Sunrise photography walk – Head out with a camera to capture the early morning light, combining exercise with creative practice. Bonus: you’ll finally use that expensive camera gathering dust.
5. Writing morning pages in unusual places – Journal three stream-of-consciousness pages while sitting in your car, on the roof, or in a closet. The weirder the location, the more honest you’ll be. Apparently.
6. Random act of kindness planning – Spend 10 minutes plotting a small anonymous act of kindness you’ll execute that day. Be the mysterious hero nobody asked for.
7. Singing or humming for 10 minutes – Use vocal exercises to activate your voice and energise your body. It’s a type of breathwork.
8. Barefoot grounding – Stand outside on grass, dirt, or sand for 10-20 minutes to “ground” yourself to the earth’s energy. Science is still out on this one, but it feels nice.
9. Micro-adventure challenge – Take a different route to work or explore a new street in your neighbourhood each morning. Get lost on purpose.
10. Inverted morning – Do headstands, handstands, or use an inversion table to get blood flowing in the opposite direction. See the world from a new perspective, literally.
11. Sensory deprivation start – Spend time in a dark, quiet room or wear a blindfold and earplugs to heighten awareness. Basically, meditation for people who think they’re too cool for meditation.
12. Creative constraint challenge – Set a weird limitation for your morning (only use your left hand, hop everywhere, speak in rhymes) to activate different neural pathways.
13. Morning debate with yourself – Argue both sides of a random topic out loud to activate critical thinking before the day begins. “Should cereal be considered a soup?” Discuss.
14. Scent-based wake-up – Use strong, unusual scents like eucalyptus, peppermint oil, or coffee beans to stimulate your olfactory system first. Your nose leads, you follow.
15. Gratitude scavenger hunt – Find five things in your home you’re grateful for that you’ve never consciously appreciated before. That weird lamp your aunt gave you? Today’s its day to shine.
16. Mirror work affirmations – Stand face-to-face with yourself in the mirror for 5-10 minutes, making direct eye contact while speaking affirmations. It’s uncomfortable, which means it’s probably working.
17. Darkness breakfast – Eat your morning meal completely in the dark or blindfolded to heighten your other senses and create a meditative eating experience. Napkins recommended.
18. Morning voice memos to future self – Record rambling audio messages to yourself about your current thoughts, dreams, or goals to listen to months or years later. Future you will either cringe or cry. Maybe both.
19. Puzzle or riddle before coffee – Refuse caffeine until you’ve solved a complex puzzle, riddle, or brain teaser. Masochistic but effective.
20. Dance party for one – Put on high-energy music and dance wildly for one full song with complete abandon, curtains closed, no judgment. What happens in the living room stays in the living room.
21. Opposite hand routine – Brush teeth, make coffee, get dressed, and do everything with your non-dominant hand to build new neural pathways. Also builds patience. And humility.
22. Watch 10 minutes of stand-up comedy. Because one really shouldn’t take life too seriously.
Ditto this blog post.
The Bottom Line
Morning routines don’t have to make sense to anyone but you. While the internet insists you need to wake up at dawn, meditate for an hour, and optimise every second of your existence, maybe what you actually need is to stand on one foot while eating ice cream and reciting Shakespeare. I can’t believe I just wrote that.
The best morning routine is the one that makes you feel alive, present, and maybe just a tiny bit unhinged. It’s the one that breaks the monotony of alarm-snooze-coffee-commute-repeat. It’s the one that reminds you that mornings don’t have to be something you survive—they can be something you actually look forward to. Maybe.
So tomorrow, when that alarm goes off, don’t reach for your phone. Maybe crawl to the kitchen instead. Eat dessert. Stand on your head. Argue with your reflection. Dance like nobody’s watching (because hopefully, nobody is).
Life’s too short for boring mornings.
Here’s to weird and wonderful.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor and my other questionable life choices. And then I’m going to watch this:
Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.