Retreat to a Refuge and Discover Your Sanctuary Away from Home

Relax, Rejuvenate, and Rediscover Yourself at a Sanctuary in the foothills of the Pyrenées Mountains

A retreat should be a refuge: somewhere you can escape to, a place where you feel safe, seen and heard.

I mentioned that I run old-fashioned retreats that first and foremost offer my guests a safe haven where they can thoroughly relax, rest and fully recharge their batteries.

But what is a safe haven?

My definition of a safe haven is my grandmother’s kitchen. In the blink of an eye, I can imagine myself back there, sitting at the rough kitchen table, my feet dangling in the air as my legs are too short to reach the floor. The whole room is saturated with the smell of baking bread, and my mouth is watering in anticipation of the thick slice of steaming hot bread, drenched in homemade butter, that my grandmother will soon put in front of me. While I wait, my legs swinging back and forth impatiently, I stare in fascination at the huge variety of herbs drying on hooks on the 300-year-old oak beams, humming absentmindedly along with Maurice Chevalier on the radio, as he sings about bicycling down the deserted country roads. Finally, my grandmother gets up from the table where she has been shelling peas from her potager, to check the bread. I hold my breath, is it ready yet?

For my guests, I have tried to create a similar experience here on my little farm, in deepest rural France. The setting is an ancient half-timbered farmhouse, renovated as authentically as possible, rustic but comfortable, surrounded by woods, sunflower fields, vineyards and lush meadows, where my horses are grazing peacefully. The breeze here carries the perfume of a thousand wildflowers, and birds serenade my visitors from dawn to dusk, through the night even, if you count in the wooing owl couple. Talking about the night, here you can lie in a sunlounger, -or should that be a moonlounger? – and breathlessly take in the millions of stars that fill the night sky, as there is barely any light pollution here.

Here you can sleep for hours, and most of my guests do. They often sleep 10-12 hours on the first night, some sleep 10 hours every single night they are at Esprit Meraki, which means, loosely translated from the Greek, « made with love. »

A safe haven, a refuge, created with love.

Uninterrupted sleep, safeguarded from the sudden nerve-wracking blast of an alarm clock, just when you are sleeping at your deepest can do wonders for your general wellbeing. I usually suggest that my guests switch their phones to aeroplane mode and sleep until they wake up naturally, whether it’s 10, 11 or 12 o’clock. Many of my guests haven’t dared to do that for years.

Soon, feeling safe and supported, my guests break free from the suffocating stress that threatens their physical and mental health – it dissolves like the morning mist at sunrise. Breathing sparkling fresh air brings a healthy flush to everyone’s cheeks and simple rituals like strolling up to the potager to pick some sun-warmed tomatoes for the evening’s salad – and eating as many straight again straight off the plants – become a pilgrimage back to a simpler, slower, stress-free way of living, a lifestyle wholeheartedly indulged in here in the unspoilt and largely unexplored southwest of France.

I feel it is crucially important that retreat guests have enough time, at the beginning of a retreat, to leave their troubles behind and disconnect from their often demanding personal and professional lives, before the retreat program starts in earnest. If they want to spend the whole time they are here reading a book in the shade of the gnarled-with-age lime trees, sipping fruit juice or homemade herbal tea, and listening to the horses grazing peacefully close by, that is fine too.

Finding a safe place to rest and recharge your batteries can be transformative too.

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. – John Lubbock

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Frequently Asked Questions about Retreats as Sanctuaries

1. What exactly do you mean by a “safe haven”?

A safe haven is a place where you can completely let your guard down—somewhere you feel safe, seen, and heard. For me, the definition of a safe haven is my grandmother’s kitchen: sitting at that rough kitchen table with my feet dangling, surrounded by the smell of baking bread, watching herbs dry on 300-year-old oak beams, and knowing that thick slices of steaming hot bread drenched in homemade butter were coming. It was a place saturated with love, comfort, and the simple rhythms of life. At Esprit Meraki, I’ve tried to recreate that same feeling—a refuge where stress dissolves like morning mist at sunrise, where you’re protected from the demands of the outside world, and where you can reconnect with the person you are beneath all the pressure and expectations.

2. Why is a safe haven so important for a retreat?

A retreat should be a refuge first and foremost—not just another place with a packed schedule and obligations. When you’re running on empty from demanding personal and professional lives, what you need most is sanctuary. A safe haven provides the essential foundation for genuine rest and transformation. It’s only when you feel truly safe and supported that the suffocating stress threatening your physical and mental health can begin to dissolve. Without this sense of safety, you remain in a state of vigilance, unable to access the deep rest your body and mind desperately need. I feel it is crucially important that guests have enough time at the beginning to leave their troubles behind and disconnect before any formal program starts. Some guests need the entire retreat just to rest, and that’s perfectly valid—finding a safe place to rest and recharge can be transformative too.

3. How does the physical environment create a sense of safety?

The setting itself is designed to wrap you in comfort and security. The ancient half-timbered farmhouse, renovated as authentically as possible, offers rustic warmth rather than sterile perfection. You’re surrounded by woods, sunflower fields, vineyards, and lush meadows where horses graze peacefully—nature’s own reassurance that life can move at a gentler pace. The breeze carries the perfume of a thousand wildflowers, birds serenade you from dawn to dusk, and at night, an owl couple woos under millions of stars visible in skies free from light pollution. These aren’t just pretty amenities—they’re deliberate elements that signal to your nervous system: you are safe here. You can breathe. You can let go. The whole environment invites you back to a simpler, slower, stress-free way of living that your body remembers and craves.

4. What does it mean to feel “seen and heard” at the retreat?

Being seen and heard means your needs, your pace, and your experience are honoured without judgment. If you need to sleep 10-12 hours on the first night (as most guests do), that’s celebrated, not questioned. If you want to sleep 10 hours every single night you’re here, that’s supported. If you need to spend the whole time reading under the gnarled-with-age lime trees, sipping fruit juice or homemade herbal tea while listening to horses graze, that’s fine too. There’s no pressure to be “productive” or to participate in activities if rest is what you need. After over a decade of leading retreats, I’ve learned that each person’s path to restoration is unique. A safe haven means having the freedom to follow your own rhythm and knowing that whatever you need is valid. Rest is not idleness, and sometimes lying on the grass under trees, listening to water murmur or watching clouds float across the sky, is exactly the medicine you need.

5. How does sleep factor into creating a safe haven?

Uninterrupted sleep, safeguarded from the sudden nerve-wracking blast of an alarm clock just when you’re sleeping at your deepest, can do wonders for your general well-being. In a safe haven, sleep is sacred and protected. I usually suggest that guests switch their phones to aeroplane mode and sleep until they wake up naturally, whether it’s 10, 11, or 12 o’clock. Many of my guests haven’t dared to do that for years—they’ve forgotten what it feels like to wake when their body is truly ready. This simple act of trusting your body’s need for rest, without guilt or anxiety about the time, is often the first step in breaking free from the chronic stress that has been suffocating you. When you’re in a truly safe space, your body finally feels permission to access the deep, restorative sleep it has been desperately craving.

6. What role do simple rituals play in creating safety?

Simple rituals ground you in the present moment and reconnect you with basic, nourishing aspects of life that stress often strips away. At Esprit Meraki, rituals like strolling up to the potager to pick sun-warmed tomatoes for the evening’s salad—and eating as many straight off the plants as you like—become a pilgrimage back to authenticity. These aren’t Instagram moments or wellness trends; they’re genuine reconnections with the rhythms of life that make us feel human and whole. When you sit at a table where someone has been shelling peas from the garden, when you smell bread baking and know it will soon be yours with homemade butter, when you hear Maurice Chevalier on the radio singing about bicycling down deserted country roads—these sensory experiences create safety through familiarity, comfort, and love. They remind you that life doesn’t have to be complicated to be rich and fulfilling.

7. Why do you emphasise “old-fashioned” retreats?

I run old-fashioned retreats because modern life has over-complicated what should be simple: rest, safety, and restoration. An old-fashioned retreat prioritises being a refuge above all else, rather than being another item on your to-do list or another performance to manage. It’s inspired by the timeless wisdom that rest is not idleness and that sometimes the most transformative thing you can do is simply be—lying on grass under trees, listening to nature, breathing clean air. Old-fashioned means valuing presence over productivity, depth over busyness, and genuine human connection over curated experiences. It means creating the atmosphere of my grandmother’s kitchen—that place where time moved differently, where you were unconditionally welcomed, where love was expressed through simple care. In our hyper-connected, always-on world, this kind of sanctuary has become revolutionary rather than traditional.

8. How soon do guests typically feel safe enough to truly relax?

Everyone’s timeline is different, which is why the beginning of the retreat is deliberately unstructured. Some guests begin to feel their shoulders drop and their breath deepen within the first few hours of arriving and breathing the sparkling fresh air. Others need several days before they can truly disconnect from the demanding lives they’ve left behind. I’ve learned that it’s crucially important to give guests enough time to leave their troubles behind before any formal program starts. Feeling safe and supported, guests gradually break free from the suffocating stress—it doesn’t happen on command or on schedule. The retreat is designed to hold space for however long it takes. The environment itself does much of the work: the peaceful grazing horses, the healthy flush that comes to cheeks from fresh country air, the birdsong, the stars, the absence of alarm clocks. These elements conspire to help your nervous system finally believe: you are safe here. You can let go.

9. What if I feel guilty about taking so much time out?

That guilt is precisely why you need a safe haven. Many of my guests haven’t dared to sleep until they wake naturally for years. They’ve internalised messages that rest is laziness, that productivity equals worth, and that they must constantly justify their existence through doing. A safe haven provides permission—and sometimes that external permission is what we need before we can grant it to ourselves. As John Lubbock wrote, “Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” At Esprit Meraki, this isn’t just a pretty quote—it’s a lived philosophy. When you see that resting is honoured here, when you’re surrounded by others who are also giving themselves permission, when you’re held in an environment that celebrates rather than judges your need for restoration, that guilt begins to loosen its grip. You start to remember that you are a human being, not a human doing.

10. How is this different from just taking a vacation?

A vacation often still operates within the framework of productivity—seeing sights, checking off experiences, justifying the expense through how much you packed in. Many people return from vacations feeling they need a vacation to recover from their vacation. A safe haven retreat is fundamentally different because it centres rest and safety rather than activity and achievement. It’s not about what you do; it’s about how deeply you can allow yourself to simply be. The whole environment—from the ancient farmhouse made with love to the invitation to pick tomatoes to the protection of your sleep—is designed to help you break free from the patterns that have been threatening your physical and mental health. Finding a safe place to rest and recharge your batteries can be transformative too, often more so than any amount of sightseeing or adventure. This is about returning to yourself, not escaping yourself. It’s about remembering who you are beneath all the stress and demands, in a place where you feel genuinely safe, seen, and heard.