How Self-Compassion Can Help You Build Your Business and Your Career
As introverted professionals, we can greatly benefit from being kinder to ourselves, especially during life changes, challenges and transitions.
I had this idea that being an introvert was a negative thing, that it had a negative connotation, and I really wanted, as a young person, to strive to be the life of the party and to be really outgoing and to have a million friends. And then I realized that an introvert isn’t a negative. – Grace Helbig
It took me many years to figure this out: that being an introvert is okay, that I don’t have to suppress who I am to fit in with the rest of the world. It was only when I started my own business running Camino de Santiago walking retreats here on my little farm in the southwest of France, that I was finally able to not only accept myself as I am, but to be kind to myself, and to put my needs as an introvert first, so that I can the best retreat host I possibly can, just as I am.
How can Introverts reap significant benefits from being kinder to ourselves?
- Being kinder to ourselves helps introverts build emotional resilience. When we practice self-compassion, we become better equipped to handle life’s challenges without being overwhelmed by self-criticism. This resilience allows us to bounce back more quickly from setbacks and maintain a more balanced, regulated emotional state.
- We often feel pressure to conform to extroverted norms, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt. By being kinder to ourselves, we can embrace our natural tendencies, recognise our strengths and value our unique perspective. This self-acceptance leads to greater confidence and contentment in our own skins.
- Introverts can be particularly sensitive to overstimulation and social pressure. By practising self-kindness, we give ourselves permission to set boundaries, take breaks, and recharge our batteries without feeling guilty. This dramatically reduces our stress levels, allowing us to navigate trying social situations and daily demands with more ease.
- Self-compassionate introverts are more likely to approach relationships authentically. By being kind to ourselves, we avoid the pitfalls of overextending or people-pleasing, which can lead to burnout. Instead, we engage in relationships that are mutually supportive and fulfilling.
- When introverts are kinder to themselves, it stimulates personal growth. Without the harshness of self-judgment, we can explore new opportunities, take risks, and learn from our experiences with a sense of curiosity and creativity.
Case Study: Alice and her boulangerie La Petite Panetière
Alice owned an irresistible little boulangerie, La Petite Panetière, on a quiet street in a charming French village. The shop was known for its warm, golden croissants, fragrant baguettes and delicate chocolatines. Every day, from the early hours, Alice would work tirelessly, kneading dough, and rolling baguettes, ensuring every single one was perfect. Her boulangerie was her world, but she kept her distance from her customers, her shyness was often mistaken for aloofness.
Alice was an introvert to the core. She loved the solitude of the early mornings and the comfort of routine, but the pressures of running a business were weighing heavy on her slender shoulders. She was her own harshest critic, always believing that her baking was just not good enough. She would stay late into the night, perfectly recipes that had already been praised by her customers, convinced they weren’t worthy of the compliments.
That winter, as the days grew shorter and the nights colder, Alice found herself worn out and disconnected, not just from her customers but from the joy she once found in baking.
One particularly bitter evening, after a long day of work, Alice sat down with a cup of hot chocolate and a journal she had bought months ago but never opened. She began to write, pouring out her worries and frustrations onto the page. It was the first time she allowed herself to truly express what she felt. In the quiet of her tiny kitchen, surrounded by the comforting smell of fresh bread, Alice realized how unkind she had been to herself.
She decided to make a change, not in her baking, but in how she treated herself. Alice began setting boundaries, closing the shop a little earlier, taking time to rest, and allowing herself small indulgences—a walk by the river, a new book, or simply a quiet evening without worrying about the next day’s work. She also permitted herself to close the bakery for a day each week, dedicating that time to rest, explore new recipes, or simply enjoy the solitude she so cherished.
Gradually, Alice’s kindness toward herself began to reflect in her business. Her renewed energy brought warmth back into the boulangerie. She smiled more often, greeted customers with genuine interest, and even started small conversations, sharing her love for baking. People noticed the change in her, feeling more welcome and connected to her shop. Word spread, and soon, more customers were drawn to the boulangerie, not just for the bread but for the peaceful, inviting atmosphere that Alice had created.
Her business flourished, not because she worked harder, but because she learned to be kind to herself. The boulangerie became a haven not just for the village but for Alice too—a place where she could share her passion without losing herself in the process. In this kindness, she found not only the strength to keep going but she also became more creative in the kitchen, experimenting with new flavours and techniques. She introduced a new line of cinnamon-flavoured pains-aux-raisins that quickly became a hit with her customers.
She focused on creating a more personal connection with her customers. She started a small loyalty program, offering regulars a free pastry after ten visits. This simple gesture, born out of her genuine care for her customers, made them feel valued and appreciated, leading to increased word-of-mouth referrals.
As Alice continued journalling self-compassionately, La Petite Panetière flourished. Alice’s self-compassion not only revived her passion for baking but also transformed her business into a thriving, beloved part of the community.
In the end, Alice learned that by taking care of herself, she could take better care of her business—and that being an introvert, in fact, wasn’t a limitation, but a strength.
How can we become more self-compassionate? By Journaling.
Journaling with self-compassion can be a transformative practice for introverts, helping us to nurture a kinder relationship with ourselves, manage our emotions more effectively, and embrace our introverted strengths with confidence.
- Journaling makes us more self-aware: Introverts often thrive on introspection, and journaling allows us to explore our thoughts and feelings in more depth. By focusing on self-compassion, journaling can help us become more aware of our inner dialogue, recognise patterns of self-criticism and learn to replace them with kinder, more supportive thoughts.
- Journaling helps us process our emotions: Introverts may internalise their emotions, leading to stress or overwhelm. Journaling provides a safe space to process these emotions, helping us to release pent-up feelings and gain clarity. Writing about self-compassion encourages us to acknowledge our emotions without judgment, creating a healthier emotional balance.
- It reinforces positive self-talk: Introverts are prone to self-doubt or negative self-talk, especially in social situations. Through journaling, they can practice reframing negative thoughts and reinforcing positive self-talk. By regularly writing about self-compassion, introverts can cultivate a more nurturing and forgiving inner voice.
- Journaling can increase our resilience: Life’s challenges can feel especially intense for introverts, who may need more time to recharge. Journaling about self-compassion helps them build resilience by reminding them that it’s okay to take breaks, set boundaries, and prioritise their well-being. This practice empowers introverts to navigate difficulties with greater self-kindness and patience.
- It can strengthen our personal boundaries: Introverts often value their personal space and time, but we struggle to set boundaries without feeling guilty. Journaling with self-compassion can help us explore our need for boundaries and affirm that protecting our energy is a valid and necessary act of self-care.
- Journaling helps us to accept ourselves: Introverts may sometimes feel pressure to be more extroverted or sociable. Journaling with self-compassion can help us own our introverted nature and recognise its strengths. By focusing on self-compassion, we can develop a deeper acceptance of who we are, appreciating our unique qualities rather than wishing we were different.
- It promotes mindfulness: Journaling encourages a mindful approach to self-compassion, helping us to stay present and attentive to our needs. Mindfulness can reduce anxiety, particularly in social or stressful situations, by keeping us grounded in the moment and focused on our own well-being.
10 Self-compassion-inducing journaling prompts tailored for introverts
- Review Your Strengths: What are three qualities or strengths that you appreciate about yourself as an introvert? How have these traits positively impacted your life? Write about how these strengths have helped you navigate challenges or create meaningful connections.
- Embrace Your Need for Solitude: Describe a time when taking time alone significantly benefited your mental or emotional well-being. How did honouring your need for solitude help you recharge or gain clarity? How you can incorporate more intentional alone time into your routine?
- Self-Care Reflection: List the ways you currently take care of yourself, especially during times of stress or overwhelm. Are there any self-care practices you’d like to incorporate more regularly? How can these practices help you show yourself more compassion?
- Handling Overwhelm: Think about a recent situation where you felt socially or emotionally overwhelmed. How did you handle it? Looking back, how could you have shown yourself more compassion in that moment? Write about how you can support yourself better in similar situations in the future.
- Celebrate Your Achievements: Remind yourself of a recent achievement or milestone, no matter how small. How did you feel when you accomplished it? Often, introverts downplay their successes—take this opportunity to fully celebrate your achievement and acknowledge the effort you put in.
- Understanding Your Inner Critic: Write about a time when you were overly critical of yourself. What was the situation, and what did your inner critic say? Now, imagine how you would comfort a close friend in the same situation. How can you apply that same kindness to yourself?
- Boundaries and Self-Compassion: Think about a situation where you had to set a boundary to protect your well-being. How did it feel to set that boundary? Reflect on how setting boundaries is an act of self-compassion and how you can practice this more confidently.
- Gratitude for Your Introverted Nature: Write about three things you’re grateful for because of your introverted nature. How has being an introvert enriched your life? How can embracing these aspects of yourself contribute to your overall happiness?
- Navigating Social Situations: Recall a recent social event that left you feeling drained or uncomfortable. How did you recover afterwards? Write about how you can prepare for and recover from social situations in a way that honours your need for self-compassion and energy management.
- Visualising Your Ideal Day: Describe your perfect day, focusing on how it would nurture your introverted nature. What activities would you include? How would you balance solitude and social interaction? Reflect on how you can incorporate elements of this ideal day into your real life to support your well-being.
As self-kindness empowers us to thrive in our own unique way, as it nurtures our strengths, and protects our emotional well-being, what more can we do to make sure we are kinder towards ourselves on a day-to-day basis?
- We can respond to insight-giving journaling prompts that promote self-compassion
- We can use inspiring quotes about self-compassion as affirmations
- We can attend one-day retreats, online or in-person
- Subscribe to my newsletter, to get access to the Stressfree during Life Changes -especially created for introverts – e-course.
Recommended Reading
Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection.
Germer, C. K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions.
Germer, C. K. & Neff, K. D. (2019).Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion program: A guide for professionals.
Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind.
Hickman, S. (2021). Self-Compassion for Dummies.
Neff, K. D. & Germer, C. K (2018). The Mindful Self-Compassion workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, find inner strength, and thrive.
Neff, K. D. (2021). Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself.
Quinlan, K. (2021). The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: Lean into Your Fear, Manage Difficult Emotions, and F