“I always get anxious when facing uncertainty, and it usually shows up as overthinking.”
I asked Claude, “Why are life transitions so disruptive?
He replied, “Going through life transitions typically cause:
1. Identity and Purpose Confusion The old sense of self no longer fits, but the new identity hasn’t fully formed yet. People often feel lost about who they are becoming and question their purpose, values, and direction. This creates an uncomfortable liminal space where they’re neither who they were nor who they’re becoming.
2. Loss of Control and Uncertainty Transitions inherently involve stepping into the unknown, which triggers anxiety about the future. People struggle with not knowing how things will turn out, feeling like they’re losing control over their circumstances, and having difficulty making decisions when so many variables are in flux.
3. Relationship and Support System Disruption Transitions often strain existing relationships or require building new social connections. People may feel isolated as old support systems no longer match their changing needs, while simultaneously struggling to communicate their experience to others who haven’t been through similar changes. This can lead to loneliness during a time when support is most needed.
These emotions often compound each other – feeling uncertain about identity makes it harder to seek appropriate support, while relationship disruption can intensify feelings of being out of control. Understanding these common struggles can help people normalise their transition experience and seek targeted support for each area.”
So I asked, “What about anxiety?”
He replied: “Anxiety is actually a fundamental thread that runs through all major life transitions and could easily be considered the primary disruptor, or the underlying driver of the others.
Transitions trigger our nervous system’s threat detection because change represents potential danger to our survival-oriented brain. This creates a persistent state of heightened alertness and worry that manifests as:
- Future-focused worry about outcomes, decisions, and “what if” scenarios
- Physical symptoms like sleep disruption, appetite changes, restlessness, or fatigue
- Decision paralysis from overthinking every choice when the stakes feel high
- Hypervigilance about potential problems or setbacks
- Rumination about past decisions or missed opportunities
The anxiety often feels particularly intense during transitions because multiple life domains are shifting simultaneously – career, relationships, living situation, daily routines, and social identity may all be in flux at once.
What makes transition anxiety especially challenging is that it’s often “rational” – there genuinely is more uncertainty and risk during these periods. This makes it harder to simply “think your way out of it” compared to other forms of anxiety.
Many people are surprised by how much anxiety accompanies even positive transitions (like getting married, having a baby, or starting a dream job) because they expected to feel only excitement. The anxiety-excitement combination can feel confusing and overwhelming.
Anxiety deserves recognition as either a fourth major pain point or the emotional undercurrent that intensifies all the others.”
I thought these were fairly good answers. It always helps to understand why one is experiencing a certain emotion. Claude also reminded me about hypervigilance – a state that is not always readily recognisable, not in others, and not in ourselves.
Unless you are looking at horses. My horses showed me exactly what this looked like, in real time, when a helicopter hovered low above us. Thzy went from vigilant to hyper-vigilant within seconds.
Hypervigilance is a state of enhanced alertness where your nervous system is constantly scanning for potential threats, dangers, or problems. It’s like having your internal alarm system stuck in the “on” position.
In the context of life transitions, hypervigilance manifests as:
Mental hypervigilance:
- Overthinking every decision and its potential consequences
- Constantly analysing situations for what could go wrong
- Being unable to “turn off” worry or planning thoughts
- Feeling like you need to have contingency plans for everything
Physical hypervigilance:
- Feeling “wired” or on edge even when trying to relax
- Difficulty sleeping because your mind won’t quiet down
- Jumpiness or being easily startled
- Fatigue from the constant mental and physical tension
Social hypervigilance:
- Over-analysing conversations and interactions
- Watching for signs of judgment or rejection from others
- Being hyper-aware of how others perceive your situation
- Difficulty being present in social situations because you’re mentally “monitoring”
During transitions, hypervigilance develops because your brain interprets change as potential danger. Since you can’t predict outcomes with certainty, your nervous system tries to protect you by staying alert to every possible threat or opportunity.
While some increased awareness during transitions is normal and even helpful, hypervigilance becomes problematic when it’s exhausting, interferes with daily functioning, or prevents you from taking necessary risks to move forward.
It’s essentially your fight-or-flight response being chronically activated, even when there’s no immediate physical danger.
I then asked Claude, “What is the difference between hypervigilance and hyper-awareness?”
He explained: “These terms are often used interchangeably, but there are some important distinctions:
Hypervigilance is more about threat detection and protection:
- Rooted in anxiety and fear-based scanning
- Focused on what could go wrong or what might hurt you
- Creates a sense of being “on guard” or defensive
- Often exhausting and draining because it’s driven by stress hormones
- Can lead to overthinking worst-case scenarios
- More reactive and survival-oriented
Hyper-awareness is more about heightened sensitivity and perception:
- Can be neutral or even positive in nature
- Enhanced ability to notice details, patterns, or subtleties
- More observational than defensive
- Can include increased emotional sensitivity or intuition
- Might involve being more attuned to opportunities, not just threats
- Can be energising or overwhelming, depending on the situation
In life transitions, you might experience both:
- Hypervigilance: Constantly worrying about making the “wrong” career choice, scanning for signs your relationship is in trouble, or being on alert for any indication you’re failing
- Hyper-awareness: Noticing subtle changes in your interests, being more sensitive to which environments feel right or wrong, or picking up on social dynamics you previously missed
The key difference is that hypervigilance is typically anxiety-driven and protective, while hyper-awareness can be more expansive and perceptive. However, during stressful transitions, hyper-awareness can easily tip into hypervigilance when that heightened sensitivity becomes focused primarily on potential problems.
Both can be mentally taxing, but hyper-awareness sometimes contains valuable information, while hypervigilance is usually just exhausting.”
I have been thinking a lot lately about self-awareness and how it differs from mindfulness – if it does. I think the 2 concepts are closely related and overlap in several places:
Mindfulness and self-awareness are related but distinct concepts that work together:
Mindfulness is a practice and state of being:
- Present-moment awareness without judgment
- Observing thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise
- A skill you actively cultivate through meditation, breathing exercises, or conscious attention
- Focused on the “now” rather than analysing patterns over time
- About witnessing your experience without getting caught up in it
- Can be applied to anything: your breath, surroundings, emotions, or thoughts
Self-awareness is knowledge and understanding of yourself:
- Recognition of your patterns, triggers, values, strengths, and blind spots
- Understanding how you typically react in different situations
- Knowing your emotional tendencies, motivations, and behavioural habits
- Often involves reflection on past experiences and future goals
- More analytical and cognitive than experiential
- About understanding “who you are” across time and contexts
How they work together:
- Mindfulness provides the raw data through present-moment observation
- Self-awareness processes that data into insights and understanding
- Mindfulness helps you notice “I’m feeling anxious right now”
- Self-awareness helps you understand “I always get anxious when facing uncertainty, and it usually shows up as overthinking”
In transitions:
- Mindfulness helps you stay grounded when everything feels chaotic: “I notice I’m worrying about the future right now”
- Self-awareness helps you navigate the transition more skillfully: “I know I need extra support during changes because I tend to isolate when overwhelmed.”
You can b.e mindful without being particularly self-aware (present but not insightful), or self-aware without being mindful (understanding your patterns but getting swept away by them in the moment). The combination of both creates emotional intelligence and resilience.
Two sides of the same coin? I’m keen to know what you think.