Is Your Boss an Introvert or an Extrovert?

It can make all the difference if you know if your boss is an introvert.

If you suspect that you are heading straight for a burnout, because you can’t figure out your boss, it may be because your boss is an introvert.

An introvert boss can be very different from an extrovert boss, in various specific ways. Each is shaped by their natural tendencies and preferences for interaction, communication, and decision-making. The majority of leaders tend to be extroverts. Research indicates that approximately 60-70% of leaders identify as extroverts. This reflects a broader societal tendency to associate leadership qualities—such as assertiveness, outgoingness, and comfort with social interaction—with extroverted personalities.

If you have always worked for an extroverted boss, which is more than likely as 60-70% of leaders identify as extroverts, adjusting to working for an introverted boss might be challenging as their styles are so different.

It’s important to note that while extroverts may be more prevalent in leadership positions, introverted leaders can also be highly effective, bringing different strengths to their roles.

Are you struggling to understand what your boss wants? It’s fairly easy to distinguish between the two styles. You can use the differences below to help you figure out if you are working for an introvert:

1. Communication Style

• Introverts: Introverted leaders tend to be more thoughtful in their communication. They often prefer one-on-one or small group interactions and may take time to process their thoughts before speaking. They listen carefully, ask probing questions, and are typically more reserved in large group settings.
• Extroverts: Extroverted leaders are generally more expressive in their communication. They thrive in social situations, enjoy engaging with large groups, and often think out loud. Extroverts are usually also more comfortable with public speaking.

2. Decision-Making Process

• Introverts: Introverted leaders often take a more deliberate and cautious approach to decision-making. They prefer to gather and analyze information before making decisions, considering different perspectives. This can lead to well-thought-out and carefully considered decisions, although sometimes at a slower pace.
• Extroverts: Extroverted leaders are more likely to make decisions quickly and assertively. They may rely on their intuition and confidence, and they’re often comfortable making decisions with less information. Extroverts are typically more decisive and willing to take risks, which can drive fast-paced progress.

3. Approach to Collaboration

• Introverts: Introverted leaders may prefer working with smaller, more intimate teams where deep relationships can be developed. They often encourage independent work and may excel in leading remote teams or creating environments where employees can work autonomously.
• Extroverts: Extroverted leaders enjoy collaboration and thrive in environments that require teamwork and constant interaction. They are more likely to encourage brainstorming sessions, group work, and open communication channels.

4. Focus on Employee Development

• Introverts: Introverted leaders may focus on mentoring and one-on-one development, where they can provide personalized guidance and support. They are often good at identifying individual strengths and helping employees grow in specific areas.
• Extroverts: Extroverted leaders tend to inspire and motivate through their energy and enthusiasm. They may focus on broader, team-wide development initiatives.

5. Crisis Management

• Introverts: In a crisis, introverted leaders are likely to remain calm and composed, taking the time to analyze the situation before responding. Their thoughtful approach can help in devising well-considered strategies to resolve issues.
• Extroverts: Extroverted leaders are often quick to take action in a crisis. Their ability to think on their feet and maintain a high level of energy can be crucial in motivating the team and maintaining morale during challenging times.

6. Vision and Inspiration

• Introverts: Introverted leaders may not be as overtly charismatic, but they often lead by example and inspire through their integrity, consistency, and depth of understanding. They may communicate their vision in a more personal and quiet manner, but with great clarity.
• Extroverts: Extroverted leaders are typically charismatic and enthusiastic, often using their outgoing nature to inspire and energize their teams. They are usually vocal about their vision, using their communication skills to rally people around a common goal.

8. Conflict Resolution

• Introverts: Introverted leaders may approach conflict with a desire for reflection and resolution through calm, private discussions. They may avoid confrontational situations and prefer to mediate and resolve issues quietly.
• Extroverts: Extroverted leaders are more likely to address conflict head-on, using open communication and directness to resolve issues. They may be more comfortable with confrontation and work quickly to find solutions.

Sophia feels like she is banging her head against a brick Wall.

Sophia was the kind of person who lit up every room she walked into. As an extrovert, she thrived on social interaction, loved bouncing ideas around in team meetings, and found her energy in the lively, collaborative buzz of the office. Her previous boss had been much like her—outgoing, animated, and always ready to chat. But things had changed when she was promoted and started reporting to David, the new department head.

David was the polar opposite of Sophia. He was quiet, introspective, and preferred working alone in his office, door closed, deep in thought. Meetings with him were brief and to the point, and he rarely offered immediate feedback on her ideas. Sophia felt a growing frustration. She missed the vibrant discussions and instant feedback she was used to. She often found herself questioning her own performance and feeling isolated. The excitement she usually felt about her work was fading, replaced by uncertainty.

One afternoon, after another terse meeting with David, Sophia decided she couldn’t keep going like this. She needed to understand why working with David felt so difficult and how they could bridge their differences.

Sophia decided to invite David for coffee, away from the formal setting of the office. To her surprise, he agreed. As they sat in the quiet corner of a nearby café, Sophia spoke up.

“David, I want to do my best work here, but I’ve been struggling. I’m used to more interaction and feedback. I feel like I’m not sure if I’m meeting your expectations, and I miss the energy of brainstorming together. How can we make this work better for both of us?”

David looked thoughtful, taking a moment before responding. “Sophia, I can see how this has been challenging for you. I’m not always the best at giving immediate feedback or engaging in spontaneous discussions, but that doesn’t mean I don’t value your ideas or enthusiasm. I just process things differently. I need time to think things through.”

Sophia nodded, appreciating his honesty. “I understand. Maybe we can find a balance. Could we schedule regular check-ins where we can discuss ideas in more depth? I’d also appreciate any feedback, even if it’s after you’ve had time to think. And maybe I can send you ideas in advance so you have time to reflect on them before we talk.”

David smiled slightly. “That sounds like a good plan. I want you to feel engaged and supported, Sophia. Let’s try it and see how it goes.”

From here onwards, the story can go either way. Much will depend on both David and Sophia’s willingness to put in the effort needed to work together.

Hopefully, Sophia will realise that while David’s leadership style was different from what she was used to, it wasn’t incompatible with her own. David, too, might find that the structured approach allows him to better appreciate Sophia’s energy and creativity without feeling overwhelmed. By understanding each other’s needs and finding a middle ground, they could create a working relationship that played to both of their strengths, turning what once felt like a challenge into a successful partnership.

Maybe your boss is not trying to be difficult, maybe your boss is reacting differently to what you are used to because your boss is an introvert.

You can learn a lot from your introverted boss

Introverted leaders often model the importance of taking time to thoroughly analyse situations before making decisions, demonstrating that careful consideration can lead to more effective outcomes. They teach the significance of listening intently to others, showing that giving space for different perspectives can enhance collaboration and foster a more inclusive work environment. From an introverted boss, you can also learn the power of leading by example, valuing substance over style, and the strength that comes from quiet confidence and strategic thinking rather than constant visibility or vocal assertiveness.

If you still feel like burnout is imminent, I have created a 2-day (this weekend if it’s urgent) online course called From Burnout to Breakthrough – Building Resilience This two-day online retreat is for you if you desperately want to stop worrying excessively, dramatically lower your stress levels, stop feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, prevent burnout AND  positively impact other people’s lives.