How to Build a Support System That Will Sustain You Through Major Life Changes

You don’t have to go through life’s toughest challenges alone.

Feeling stuck in a job that drains your energy or struggling to move forward after a relationship ends? The key to thriving through life’s biggest changes isn’t willpower—it’s having the right people by your side. Discover how to build the support system in 5 steps that will not only help you survive major life changes and transitions but also help you grow into your next chapter.

If you’re facing a major life change—making a career change, starting a new business, navigating a divorce, adjusting to an empty nest, moving to another country, or grieving the loss of a loved one—it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions: fear, uncertainty, frustration and even anger. Major transitions often push us out of our comfort zone, leaving us feeling lost and vulnerable. One of the most crucial factors that can help you manage these periods of upheaval is having a reliable and nurturing support system in place.

Research has shown that strong social connections aren’t just emotionally fulfilling—they can be lifesaving. A comprehensive meta-analysis published in PLoS Medicine found that individuals with robust social connections have a 50% higher chance of survival compared to those with weaker social ties (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).

But how do you build such a support system? And what does it take to find people who truly support your growth? Whether you’re changing careers, relocating to a new country, or healing from the end of a relationship, cultivating a strong support network will empower you to cope with these changes with confidence.

Why a Reliable Support System is Crucial During Life Transitions

When we’re going through difficult times, it’s easy to feel isolated, like we’re carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. But the truth is, no one can—or should—go through major life transitions alone. Having a group of people who can provide emotional, practical, and even professional support can be a game-changer.

Here’s why this network is so vital:

• Perspective: When we’re in the thick of a life transition, it’s hard to see beyond the immediate emotional turbulence. A trusted support system can provide a clearer, more balanced perspective.
• Emotional Support: Whether it’s a kind word, a shared experience, or simply being there to listen, emotional support helps lighten the load of change.
• Encouragement and Motivation: When you’re going through a life change, it’s easy to feel stuck. A supportive group reminds you that you’re not alone in your journey, and can provide motivation and keep you accountable, encouraging you to take steps forward, no matter how small.
• Practical Help: Whether it’s helping you find new opportunities, offering expert advice or logistical assistance, or providing practical assistance in your daily life, a robust support system can provide practical solutions when you need them most.

5 Steps to Building a Strong Support System During Major Life Changes

If you’re currently dissatisfied with your career, relationship, or finances, you may already know that a shift is necessary. But without the right support in place, these changes can feel daunting, even impossible. Here’s how you can cultivate a support system that will help you move forward and embrace the next chapter of your life.

1. Assess Your Existing Circle

Who do you currently have in your life? Take a moment to assess your existing support system. Are the people around you offering the emotional and practical support you need? This isn’t about quantity but quality. Do your friends, family, or colleagues listen without judgment? Do they motivate you or leave you feeling drained? Surrounding yourself with positive, understanding and trustworthy people is crucial.

• Evaluate Relationships: Take note of who in your life helps you grow versus who may unintentionally hold you back. When evaluating your current support network, consider the various types of support you’re receiving. Research has identified six key social provisions: attachment, social integration, reassurance of worth, reliable alliance, guidance, and opportunity for nurturance (Cutrona & Russell, 1985). A well-rounded support system should ideally provide all of these. Some relationships might actually hold you back or add unnecessary stress. Don’t be afraid to create some distance if needed.
• Strengthen Connections: Look for friends, colleagues, or family members who are good listeners, non-judgmental, and genuinely care about your well-being. Identify a few key people you can trust, and nurture these relationships. Sometimes, a single deep connection is more valuable than a large social circle.

2. Be Honest and Open

One of the biggest barriers to building a supportive network is our fear of vulnerability. If you’ve been pretending that everything is fine, people in your life won’t know how to support you. It can be difficult to ask for help, especially if you’ve been used to handling things on your own. Share your challenges and be open about the transition you’re going through.

• Share Your Struggles: People can’t support you if they don’t know what you’re going through. Often, people want to help but don’t know how. Start small. You don’t need to spill your entire life story at once. Begin by opening up to a trusted friend or mentor about what you’re experiencing.
• Be Clear About Your Needs: Let people know specifically how they can help, whether that’s lending an ear, offering advice, or even helping with a practical task.

3. Expand Your Network

If your current circle doesn’t meet your needs, seek out new connections. Finding people who have gone through similar transitions can be incredibly empowering. Whether it’s joining a support group, attending a retreat, or engaging with a community of like-minded people, expanding your network can offer new perspectives and emotional resources.

• Online Communities: There are countless online spaces where people come together to share their experiences. Consider joining a group tailored to your specific transition, such as one for career changes, relocation, or divorce recovery.
• Retreats and Workshops: Consider immersive experiences, like my Camino de Santiago Walking Retreats in the southwest of France. These retreats not only offer the chance to connect with others on a similar path but also provide time for reflection and personal growth. On one of my retreats, Anna showed up after uprooting her life—she’d just moved halfway across the country to escape her narcissistic ex and was still reeling from a messy divorce. Lost, unsure about her ability to hold down her new job, but desperately needing a fresh start, she found more than just healing. The retreat gave her the space to breathe again, while the group rallied around her, helping her rebuild her confidence brick by brick. She didn’t just leave with clarity and a new sense of purpose—she walked away with lifelong friendships with people who still have her back today.
• Expand your Professional Network: For career-related challenges and changes, consider expanding your professional network. Attend industry events, join professional associations, or connect with alumni groups to build relationships that can provide guidance and opportunities

4. Seek Mentorship or Professional Guidance

Sometimes, your friends and family may not have the experience or expertise to help you navigate specific transitions. In these cases, finding mentors or professional coaches can be extremely beneficial. A good coach or mentor can offer tailored advice, share their own experiences, and help you set actionable goals.

• Learning from Role Models: Seek out people who have successfully navigated the same transitions you’re facing. Their stories can be a source of inspiration and practical advice.
• Professional Guidance: If you’re struggling with your career or relationships, seeking guidance from a relationship coach or career counsellor can provide clarity and direction. Rachel was drowning in a high-stress job, feeling trapped in a role she used to love but now couldn’t stand. Burnout had her in a chokehold, and she knew she had to do something. That’s when she stumbled on my course, Building Resilience: A Roadmap from Burnout to Breakthrough during a Life Transition offering effective coping mechanisms, boundary-setting strategies, and self-care practices. It’s designed to help people like you prevent burnout and restore balance in both personal and professional life. Desperate for a way out, she signed up, added a few coaching sessions, and dove in headfirst. What did she discover? Practical tools to reclaim her time, set ironclad boundaries, and refuel her drained energy. Slowly, she started to breathe again. Within months, Rachel didn’t just survive the burnout—she walked away from the job that was suffocating her and launched her own business. Now, she’s running the show… and burnout? It’s barely visible in the rearview mirror. This course isn’t just about coping; it’s about taking your life back.

5. Reciprocate and Build Closer Connections

Remember, relationships are a two-way street. To cultivate a meaningful support network, it’s important to offer support in return. Giving back to your community—whether it’s your friends, family, or a larger network—builds more meaningful connections. Be there for others, offer your own experiences, advice, and a listening ear when your friends, family members or colleagues are going through difficult times. This strengthens the bond and creates a network based on mutual trust.

Final Thoughts: Building a Support System Takes Time

You might not have an ideal support system in place right away, and that’s okay. Building a strong network takes a fair amount of effort over time. Regular check-ins, even just a quick message to see how someone is doing, can go a long way in maintaining your support system. Cultivating the right network of people around you is an ongoing process, one that will change as you move through different phases of your life. The key is to remain open to new connections and proactive about seeking support when you need it.

While external support is crucial, don’t forget to look after yourself! Make time for self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as a walk in the woods or on the beach, doing something creative, like drawing, painting or creative writing and spending time with friends and family. Taking care of yourself will give you the strength to face challenges, make the most of your support system and offer support in return.

If you’re struggling to cope with a major life change, don’t go through it alone. Building a support system is not just about surviving these transitions; it’s about thriving and emerging stronger on the other side.

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References

1. Cutrona, C. E., & Russell, D. W. (1985). The provisions of social relationships and adaptation to stress. Advances in Personal Relationships, 1, 37-67.
2. Gottlieb, B. H., & Bergen, A. E. (2005). Social support concepts and measures. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 58(5), 511-520.
3. Helgeson, V. S., & Cohen, S. (1996). Social support and adjustment to cancer: Reconciling descriptive, correlational, and intervention research. Health Psychology, 15(2), 135-148.
4. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.
5. Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., Morgan, C. A., Charney, D., & Southwick, S. (2007). Social support and resilience to stress: From neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry (Edgmont), 4(5), 35-40.
6. Tsouna-Hadjis, E., Vemmos, K. N., Zakopoulos, N., & Stamatelopoulos, S. (1993). The role of social support in the family and community integration of right-hemisphere stroke patients. Stroke, 24(4), 581-586.