What This Is

A tactical, no-BS self-assessment to help you:

1. Pinpoint where grief is hijacking your life.
2. Identify actionable fixes (not platitudes).
3. Track progress like the strategic leader you are.

Designed for men who prefer spreadsheets over soul-searching (but need both).

How to Use This

• Complete digitally (type into fields) or print (penmanship optional).
• Be brutally honest—this isn’t for your LinkedIn feed.
• Re-audit monthly to spot patterns.

SECTION 1: EMOTIONAL IMPACT SCAN

(Rate 1–10: 1 = “I’m Zen”, 10 = “I’m a Netflix melodrama”)

Category	Score	Notes (What’s Actually Happening)
Sleep Quality	[ ]	Example: “3am Wikipedia deep dives on ‘Do ghosts exist?”
Anger Triggers	[ ]	*“Got road rage at a *bicycle* yesterday”*
Guilt/Regret	[ ]	“Should’ve taken that vacation. Should’ve said _.”

🛠️ Quick Fix:
☐ Pick one category above. Commit to a 5-minute daily intervention (e.g., 4-7-8 breathing for sleep).

SECTION 2: PHYSICAL IMPACT TRACKER

(Because Your Body Keeps Score)

Track for 3 Days:

Day	Unexplained Aches/Pains	Energy Peaks & Crashes	“Numbing” Habits (Alcohol, Bingeing, etc.)
1
2
3

⚠️ Red Flags:

• “My ‘numbing’ habit is costing me >$200/week.”
• “I’ve forgotten what ‘hungry’ feels like.”

SECTION 3: PROFESSIONAL FALLOUT REPORT

(No Judgment—Just Data)

Task Avoidance List
☐ Example: “Haven’t reviewed the Q4 budget. It’s… somewhere.”
☐ ___________________________________________
☐ ___________________________________________

Impulsive Decisions
☐ Example: “Hired a VP after one 15-minute call. Regrets? Many.”
☐ ___________________________________________
☐ ___________________________________________

Pro Tip:
Delegate one avoided task this week. Email script:
“I need your help with [TASK]. Trust your judgment—no need to loop me in.”

SECTION 4: IDENTITY & PURPOSE CHECK

(Who Are You Now? Let’s Figure That Out)

Pre-Loss Identity:
Examples: “Provider,” “Problem-Solver,” “The Fun Uncle”
[___________________________________________]

Post-Loss Identity Draft:
Examples: “Legacy Builder,” “Survivor-in-Chief,” “Work in Progress”
[___________________________________________]

🚧 Gap Analysis:
What’s missing? What feels fake?
[___________________________________________]

SECTION 5: SUPPORT SYSTEM SCORECARD

(Who’s On Your Bench?)

Role	Name/Contact	Reliability (1–5)	Notes
Therapist/Coach
No-BS Friend
Accountability Buddy

Action Step:
Text/Call one person above this week. Script: “No advice needed. Just wanted to say this sucks.”

SECTION 6: LEGACY SEEDS

(What Would Make Them Proud?)

Brainstorm 3 Legacy Ideas (No Filter):

1. Example: “Fund a scholarship in their name.”
2. _____________________________
3. _____________________________

🌱 Pick One to Prototype in 30 Days:
[_____________________________]

BONUS: PERMISSION TO GRIEVE CONTRACT™

(Copy/Paste, Fill In, Print, Repeat)

I, [NAME], hereby grant myself permission to:

• Grieve in [WEIRD PLACE] (car, gym, golf course).
• Suck at [TASK] for the next 90 days (parenting, small talk, Excel).
• Say “No” to [EVENT/PEOPLE] without guilt.

Signed: _____________
Date: _____________
Witnessed by: [PET’S NAME/FAVORITE PHOTO]

---

NEXT STEPS

1. Schedule a 15-minute debrief with yourself (or a trusted ally).
2. Pick 1–3 fixes from this audit to implement now.
3. Download the 90-Day Rebuild Tracker [QR Code/Link] to monitor progress.

🔗 Access This Tool
👉 Download as PDF/Editable Doc
👉 Print-Friendly Version

🎯 Why This Works:

• Concrete data > vague feelings
• Designed for linear thinkers
• Makes “progress” measurable

LifeQuake Survival Protocol

For Men Who Have Lost Someone They Love—and Are Struggling to Find Their Way Forward

Grief isn’t just an emotional wound—it’s a full-scale identity-level earthquake that shakes everything you thought you knew about yourself.

If you’ve lost a spouse, a partner, or someone who was the foundation of your life, you’re not just mourning them. You’re mourning the man you used to be—the one who existed in a world where they were still here.

And now? You’re left standing in the wreckage, outwardly successful but inwardly lost.

The hard truth? Wealth, status, and intelligence don’t make grief easier. They just make it harder for you to admit that you don’t have it all under control.

But here’s the good news:
You don’t have to stay stuck in the pain. You don’t have to “push through” or pretend to be fine. And you don’t have to let this loss define the rest of your life.

Introducing the LifeQuake Survival Protocol

A science-backed, medically-informed, and soul-strengthening framework designed for men who are ready to:
✅ Stop drowning in grief loops and emotional paralysis
✅ Reconstruct their identity without feeling like they’re “leaving their loved one behind”
✅ Find purpose beyond the pain—without forcing a silver lining
✅ Regain confidence, motivation, and a sense of direction
✅ Build a new life that honors their past without being trapped by it

This isn’t therapy. It’s not about talking in circles or “letting time heal all wounds.” It’s about strategic reinvention—a guided process that respects your pain but doesn’t let it own you.

What You’ll Gain from This Protocol

A Clear Roadmap for Healing: No more guessing what “moving forward” actually means
High-Performance Coping Strategies: Real tools to break free from mental exhaustion and burnout
Identity Reconstruction Exercises: So you don’t just survive this loss—you redefine who you are in its aftermath

If you’re ready to reclaim your life on your terms, in your time, with a proven process—this is for you.

Next Steps

🔹 Enrol in the LifeQuake Survival Protocol today – add additional coaching if you are short on time
🔹 Start the process of rebuilding, with expert guidance every step of the way

Your past shaped you. But it doesn’t define you.

Your next chapter starts now. Are you ready to write it?

👉 Click here to begin 👈

P.S. Just a quick reminder: If you would like some support while you work through this book/program, you can book one or more coaching sessions with me (Dr Margaretha Montagu) for inspiration, motivation and accountability (additional cost). Send an email to OpenLockedDoors@gmail.com to find out more. Most people book a coaching session at the end of the course, to help them implement what they have learned. Also, if at any time during this program you get stuck, email me at the email address above.