CIC Section 6

Grounded in Gratitude: Finding Solid Ground during a Life Quake

Or, “How to Spot Fireflies in a Blackout (And Other Survival Tricks)”

Aim: Use gratitude to navigate crisis without toxic positivity.

• ✅ Differentiate gratitude from forced optimism.
• ✅ Practice “Velcro vs. Teflon” brain hacks to spot micro-wins.
• ✅ Build resilience by acknowledging pain and small joys.

The Spreadsheet of Existential Despair (And Why It Failed)

Let me set the scene: It’s 2022. My friend Alain is sitting in a grey cubicle that smells faintly of instant coffee and quiet desperation. His monitor glows with a spreadsheet titled “Q3 Marketing ROI” as if those six letters hold the secret to his happiness. His boss’s Slack notification dings with the subtlety of a fire alarm: “Can we pivot this to synergise with the paradigm shift?” He mutters under his breath, “Sure, let me just pivot my soul into oblivion while I’m at it,” and reaches for his fourth coffee of the day.

Then, burnout hits. Not the gentle “I need a weekend at the beach” kind of burnout. This was the full-blown “I’m crying into my lukewarm coffee at 3 PM while Googling ‘How to feel human again’ and considering whether living in the woods might be a viable career option” kind of burnout.

“So I did what any logical, slightly unhinged person would do: I created yet another spreadsheet,” Alain explained, “This one was grandly titled “Gratitude Attitude 2.0” (because versioning your existential crisis makes it seem more manageable). The columns included gems like “People, Possesions, and Passions” (this one remained stubbornly empty except for “TBD” and “Ask me after coffee”), “Marketable Skills” (pivot tables, sarcasm, and the ability to look engaged in meetings while mentally redecorating my apartment), and “Things That Spark Joy” (sleep, silence, and not being asked if I’m “living up to my potential”).

It was a masterpiece of avoidance disguised as productivity.

I suggested he forget about spreadsheets and start a “gratitude jar.”

Not the “I’m grateful for sunshine and rainbows” kind. The “Today, I’m weirdly thankful my ex took that ugly and uncomfortable designer couch” kind.

One entry read: *“Grateful my car broke down in front of the bakery—I finally tried the chocolate-covered pretzels. Life-changing.”

Did gratitude fix his problems? Nope. But it gave him a flashlight in the dark.

Part 1: Why Gratitude Isn’t Toxic Positivity (And How to Do It Without Gagging)

Gratitude ≠ Ignoring the Dumpster Fire

Toxic positivity says: “Look on the bright side!”
True gratitude says: “This sucks… but I’m still breathing. Let’s notice that too.”

Science Says:

• Gratitude reduces cortisol (stress hormone) by 23%
• It rewires your brain to spot “micro-wins” (“Hey, that barista remembered my name!”)
• It’s not about denying pain—it’s about refusing to let pain monopolise your story.

The “Velcro vs. Teflon” Brain Hack

Your brain is Velcro for negative events and Teflon for positive ones. (Thanks, evolution!)

Alain’s Hack:
Every night, he wrote ONE thing he didn’t totally hate about the day:

• “My neighbour’s cat sat on my porch. Jury’s out if it’s love or a rodent problem.”
• “I cried in the shower. But the hot water didn’t run out. Progress.”

Part 2: The Art of “And” (How to Grieve and Be Grateful)

Case Study: The Divorcee Who Thanked Her Ex’s Lawyer

Meet Elena, a client who thanked her way through divorce:

• Day 1: “Grateful I don’t have to pretend to like his mom’s meatloaf anymore. Why ever did I?”
• Day 30: “Grateful for my new studio apartment. It’s tiny, but the echo makes my music sound epic.”
• Day 90: “Grateful he left. Now I’m dating someone who knows what a ‘boundary’ is.”

Her Mantra: *“I can miss the good parts *and* be glad the bad ones are gone.”*

Part 3: Gratitude as Solid Ground (Not a Silver Lining)

How to Use Gratitude to Find Solid Ground”

Step 1: Spot “Scraps of Okay”

• “The sun hit my face this morning. That was nice.”
• “I found a comfortable spot on the couch to read for a few minutes.”
• “The barista remembered my usual order and had it ready.”
• Finds joy in a small act of recognition and kindness.
• “I managed to wake up on time without hitting snooze.”
• “I received a compliment on my outfit today.”
• “I took a short walk during lunch and noticed the changing leaves.”
• “My cat purred contentedly while sitting on my lap.”
• “I finished a chapter of the book I’ve been meaning to read.”
• “A stranger held the door open for me.”
• “I cooked a simple meal and it turned out delicious.”

Step 2: Reframe “Survival Mode” Wins

• “I brushed my teeth. Go me.”
• “I texted a friend instead of spiralling down into self-pity. Gold star.”
• Here are ten more examples that reframe small victories in “Survival Mode”:
• “I drank a full glass of water today. Hydration victory!”
• “I made my bed this morning. Small step towards organisation.”
• “I took a five-minute break to stretch. Progress in self-care.”
• “I cooked a simple meal instead of ordering takeout. Win for healthier choices.”
• “I read a few pages of a book before bed. Small steps towards reading more.”
• “I went for a short walk around the block. Daily exercise accomplished!”
• “I resisted the urge to check social media first thing in the morning. Mindful start to the day.”
• “I wrote down one thing I’m grateful for today. Gratitude practice in progress.”
• “I listened to a calming song when I felt overwhelmed. Self-soothing success.”

Step 3: Thank Past You

• “Past me meal-prepped. Current me is eating something that isn’t cereal. Thanks, past me.”
• “Past me set an alarm for tonight’s event. Current me isn’t scrambling to remember. Thanks, past me.”
• “Past me wrote down that idea in the middle of the night. Current me has a starting point for the project. Thanks, past me.”
• “Past me cleaned the kitchen last night. Current me is enjoying a clutter-free morning. Thanks, past me.”
• “Past me saved a little money each month. Current me has a cushion for unexpected expenses. Thanks, past me.”
• “Past me scheduled a doctor’s appointment. Current me is taking care of my health without the last-minute rush. Thanks, past me.”

Your Journal Prompts: Time to Mine for Gold

1. “What’s One ‘Scrap of Okay’ You Can Thank Today?”

• Step 1: Scan your day for a non-terrible moment.
• Example: “The coffee was hot. The dog didn’t eat my socks. Small victories.”
• Step 2: Write it like a Yelp review:
• “★★★★☆ Decent Tuesday. Loved the sunrise, but the existential dread needs work.”

2. “Write a Thank-You Note to Your Past Self”

• Step 1: Think of something past you did that current you benefit from.
• Example: “Thanks for buying that bulk toilet paper. You’re basically a prophet.”
• Step 2: Add humour: “P.S. Sorry I mocked your ‘sensible shoes.’ You were right.”

3. “What’s One Thing You’re Weirdly Grateful For in This Crisis?”

• Step 1: Think of an unexpected “perk” of your quake.
• Example: “I’m weirdly grateful I got laid off—it forced me to finally nap.”
• Step 2: Channel Clara: “Grateful my Wi-Fi died. I talked to my neighbor. She’s cool.”

A Pep Talk for the Skeptics

You might think:
“How can I be grateful when my life is falling apart?!”

Here’s the secret: Gratitude isn’t a finish line. It’s a flashlight.

You don’t have to be thankful for the quake. Just notice what’s still standing in spite of it.

Alain’s jar didn’t erase his pain. But it gave him moments where he thought, “Oh. I’m still standing. And that’s something.”

What’s Next? (Spoiler: It’s Not About Forced Smiles)

You’ve used gratitude to find solid ground. Now what?

It’s time for your next chapter.

In the next section, we’ll explore how to progress From Shaking to Surviving Life’s Seismic Shifts —how to step forward, even when the ground feels shaky.

P.S. Gratitude isn’t the destination—it’s the compass. You didn’t come this far just to stop here. Something inside you is calling for more—more clarity, more direction, more purpose. It’s time to stop wandering and start designing the life you want. The Purpose Protocol isn’t just another course; it’s a transformational experience that will guide you from uncertainty to unshakable clarity. If you’re serious about stepping into your next chapter with confidence, this is your moment.

P.S. Gratitude isn’t the destination—it’s the compass. You didn’t come this far just to stop here. Something inside you is calling for more—more clarity, more direction, more purpose. It’s time to stop wandering and start designing the life you want. The Purpose Protocol isn’t just another course; it’s a transformational experience that will guide you from uncertainty to unshakable clarity. If you’re serious about stepping into your next chapter with confidence, this is your moment.