Margaretha Montagu, Author at Dr Margaretha Montagu

25/03/202321/02/2024

How to Detect Burnout

In Yourself and In Others

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“I just need a break.”

Often, when people write to me to make enquiries about my stress management retreats, either online or onsite here in the south of France, this sentence features prominently in their email, most often in the last paragraph. I have learned to sit up and take notice when I come across this sentence, as it is often said by people who are either burnt out already or on the verge of burning out.

Have you said that to yourself or to others recently? Did someone else say this to you?

Take notice, especially if you are an employer and you heard one of your employees say this.

People who are suffering from burnout, sometimes without realising it, often make statements that give away their state of mind. Depending on their individual experience and circumstances, they may say:

“I just can’t keep going anymore.” – Burnout can leave people feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, making it difficult to cope with their personal and professional responsibilities.

“I feel like I’m just going through the motions.” – Burnout can make people feel disconnected from their work, and from the people around them, causing them to feel as if what they do has no purpose or meaning.

“I don’t care anymore.” – Burnout can lead to a sense of apathy or detachment, causing people to lose interest in things that used to be important to them.

“I feel completely overwhelmed.” – Burnout can cause people to feel incapable of completing even small tasks, making it difficult to do what they are getting paid to do.

“I can’t handle this anymore.” – Burnout can make people feel like they’ve reached their breaking point, causing them to feel like they can’t deal with stress or any additional pressure.

“I don’t feel like myself anymore.” – Burnout can cause people to lose their sense of identity and which can result in a significant loss of self-esteem.

“I’m so frustrated.” – Burnout can lead to an intense sense of frustration, especially if people feel like they’re not making progress or reaching their targets.

“I feel like I’m stuck in a rut.” – Burnout can cause people to feel trapped, making it difficult to move forward or make changes in their personal or professional lives.

“I’m uber-stressed, all the time.” – Burnout can cause chronic stress, which can cause serious physical and psychological diseases.

“I can’t sleep. I either lay awake for hours before I fall asleep or I wake up early. Or I wake up twenty times during the night.” – Burnout can cause insomnia, which increases exhaustion and decreases performance.

Statements that allow us to detect burnout early are not always made using these exact words, everyone expresses themselves differently and everyone’s experience of burnout is unique. People may also make any of the above statements without having burnout.

As you may know, it is my life’s mission, first as a medical doctor and now as a retreat leader, to help people manage stress, so they can avoid the permanent damage stress can cause.

The burnout epidemic has motivated me to create a 2-day online retreat (not sure I’m ever going to do that again, I nearly got burnt out in the process!) called the Burnout to Breakthrough Blueprint retreat. It is designed so that you can burnout-proof yourself during a weekend, by devoting four hours a day to the retreat, two in the morning and two in the afternoon. It has gotten excellent reviews so far, so I am hoping that it will serve as my contribution to reducing burnout worldwide.

Worldwide.

Isn’t that awe-inspiring? That I can now reach hundreds or even thousands of people online, instead of just the few that come to Esprit Meraki Retreats. Reaching people is so much easier since the pandemic.

My retreats focus on helping people who are going through life transitions, or those who have to make important decisions, by walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostela, both my standard retreats and my top-of-the-range retreats.

More often than not, my onsite retreat guests arrive burnt out by the stress they had to endure trying to cope with the life transition they are stuck in, whether it is an empty nest, retirement, redundancy, losing a loved one, changing careers, starting a business etc.

So my Burnout to Breakthrough online retreat can also help my guests before they arrive, ensuring that they get the most from their retreat. If you aren’t burned out, you can make sure that your next retreat is your best ever by clicking here.

We can detect burnout early, merely by paying attention to what others are saying, and to what we are saying to ourselves.

“Just because you take breaks doesn’t mean you’re broken.”
― Curtis T. Jones

Subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter (thank you in advance!) to get access to my eye-opening, mind-altering and entirely free Journal Yourself Stressfree e-retreat and receive my insight-giving Top Ten Tips on How to Make Your Next Retreat Your Best Ever

10/03/202305/02/2024

Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves.

Recommended TED talk of the month – lasts 20 minutes – March 2023

Wednesday was International Women’s Day – a celebration of the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating women’s equality – and also, March is Women’s History Month.

In this month’s recommended TED talk, social psychologist Amy Cuddy argues that using body language, ex “power posing” -standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident – can make us feel more confident.

In the comments on Youtube, Maggie says “I watched this for one of my classes and sometimes, I admit, I only half pay attention to required videos but this one completely captivated me. When she told her personal story I literally started to cry because I used to be that girl she was describing.”

During my Mindfulness Meditation with Horses retreats, I show my guests how horses communicate with remarkable accuracy using posture, gesture and breath to express their needs, wishes and emotions to each other. By discovering how effectively horses can communicate using body language, we can become more aware of how we communicate using body language ourselves. This TED talk, with practical examples, will help you adjust your body language so that you can communicate more confidently, intensionally and accurately. Especially if you are a woman.

This TED talk is one of the most powerful that I have ever watched. Incidentally, it reflects the subject I address in my latest LinkedIn article: Fight/Flight or Connect/Encourage?

My Burnout Breakthrough Online Retreat is now accessible. Please go and have a look and tell anyone you may know who already suffers from burnout already or teetering on the edge, about it. I want to help as many people as possible with this, my first every online retreat, while earning enough to keep the Friesian mares in the style they have come to expect!

I wanted to reach out and let you know how impressed I am with the Burnout to Breakthrough Blueprint retreat you’ve created. It’s such an important topic, and I think the way you’ve approached it is really insightful and helpful. In particular, I appreciate how you’ve focused not just on the emotional and mental aspects of burnout, but also on the physical symptoms that can come along with it. I also wanted to tell you that I’ve learned so much from the course already. Your explanations of what burnout is and how it can happen were really eye-opening for me, and I’ve already started to recognise some of the signs of burnout in my own life. The strategies you’ve shared for preventing and managing burnout are also really practical and useful. I found the guided meditation particularly engaging. Overall, I just wanted to say a huge thank you for creating this course. I think it has the potential to help so many people, and I’m really excited to continue learning from it. Keep up the great work! D.S. 2023

If you would like to increase your emotional resilience in 5 minutes a day, I invite you to attend my free online mini-retreat Journal Yourself Stress-free. You will get instant access to this online retreat when you subscribe to my mailing list and I’ll also let you know each time I publish the month’s (carefully curated) recommended TED talk.

17/02/202320/05/2023

If You Have Never Been On A Retreat Before…

…you may wonder why. people go on retreats.

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These days, a variety of people go on retreats, for a variety of reasons. There are many different types of retreats:

Yogis who are interested in practising yoga might go on a yoga retreat. These retreats often include daily yoga classes, meditation, healthy meals, and time for relaxation and reflection. I have incorporated Yoga Nidra into my retreats, it helps my clients get a solid night’s sleep from the very first night.
People who follow a particular faith may go on a retreat to deepen their spiritual practice and connect with others who share their beliefs. These retreats may include prayer, study, and reflection.
People who find themselves stuck in life transitions, or at a crossroads, might go on transformational retreats that are designed to help individuals grow and change in a meaningful way by providing a supportive environment and a range of experiences that promote personal development.
People who are looking to improve their physical or psychological health might go on a wellness retreat. These retreats often include activities like meditation, massage, healthy eating, exercise and workshops on stress management.
Creative people who are looking to immerse themselves in their art, such as writing or painting, might go on a creative retreat. These retreats provide a focused, distraction-free environment for artists to work on their craft.
Employees might go on a corporate retreat, sent by the companies they work for to foster teamwork, build leadership skills, and enhance productivity. These retreats may include team-building activities, workshops, and physical activity.

If you have never been on a retreat before, you might want to try one of mine. Here at Esprit Meraki, I host unique transformational retreats, for example, the life-changing Camino de Santiago de Compostela walking retreat.

My guests want to find solutions to their problems, and walking the Camino empowers them to do so, by offering an undisturbed and uninterrupted opportunity for:

Contemplation, reflection and introspection, while they walk: My Camino retreat encourages my guests to become more self-aware and to connect with their authentic selves, gain clarity about their life direction, and identify areas in which they would like to grow and change.

Non-judgemental support from the retreat leader as well as access to a supportive community of like-minded individuals who are on a similar journey of personal growth and transformation. This creates a safe and nurturing environment in which individuals can share their experiences, receive feedback, and gain support. Many of my guests, who met during a retreat, remain friends long after. This can lead to increased confidence, more supportive relationships, and a greater sense of purpose and direction in life.

Mind-body re-connection: My transformational retreats specifically focus on the mind-body connection and offer practices that promote physical and psychological health. For example, my Connect with Horses to master mindfulness retreats focus on mindfulness practices that have been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and promote overall well-being.

A transformational retreat can be a powerful tool for personal growth. By creating a supportive environment, offering opportunities for personal development, and promoting mind-body connection, transformational retreats can help individuals gain new insights and perspectives.

If you are tempted, you can read more about my retreats at Esprit Meraki Retreats where you can also download my «How To Make Your Next Retreat Your Best Ever» e-book.

05/02/202305/02/2024

Burnout seriously inhibits Creativity and Productivity

Recommended TED-talk of the Month duration 5 minutes February 2023

Early this morning, when I should have been getting out of bed to go and feed the horses, the -3°C reading on the thermometer and crackling frost on the fields was so discouraging that I resisted my coffee cravings to watch one more TED talk: Rahaf Harfoush’s talk “Burnout makes us less creative. “

I am in the process of creating an online retreat called Burnout Breakthrough, so I read everything I can lay my hands on about “burnout.” I actually hadn’t thought about the effect that burnout has on our creativity, but I should have because the more creative we are, the greater our ability to problem-solve. I reflected on my own experience and realised just how detrimental an effect burnout has on my own creativity – when I am stressed, I write to reduce stress, but burnout gives me complete writer’s block.

I thought I would share this talk with you here. It’s excellent, if you have 5 minutes, I recommend you watch it. Twice, if you have time, it makes so much sense. According to Rahaf Harfoush, a digital anthropologist (that sounds like an amazing job,) “Our obsession with productivity — to-do lists, life hacks, morning routines — is making us less productive. We need to redesign our workday around creativity – not just efficiency. She says the average American takes only half of their allocated leave…

Before I succumb to my coffee addiction, I wanted to ask a favour. I have finished the introductory page to my Burnout Breakthrough Online Retreat, could you have a look and give me some constructive criticism, please? You can have a look here: Burnout Breakthrough Online Retreat

If you would like to increase your resilience in 5 minutes a day, I invite you to attend my free online mini-retreat Journal Yourself Stress-free. You will get instant access to this retreat when you subscribe to my mailing list and I’ll also let you know each time I publish the month’s (carefully-curated) recommended TED-talk.

25/04/202117/08/2024

Slow Travel: Making the most of your next Travel Opportunity

Sitting at home, thinking of all the places I wish I could travel to, I amuse myself by making lists of the places I would like to visit, as soon as it is possible again. I entertain the members of my group “We live purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling Lives” by asking them to name three places they would like to travel to.

I think about travelling rather a lot (no doubt because I desperately yearn to escape the lockdown.) My dearest wish is to go to the beach, only 90 minutes from here, and watch the sun go down over the sea.

Whenever I get the chance to go to the beach again, I intend to make the most of the experience by travelling slow, a subject that I find myself blogging about frequently since the pandemic started.

How I am going to make the most of my first chance to travel again:

1) I will plan my trip carefully – I have nothing against leaving for unexplored shore at the drop of a hat, but since I have loads of time, I will research my destination in detail, to find out more about the people who live there and to get a feeling for the geography of the place so that I will lose less time getting my bearings. A quick Google search will reveal the destination’s top attractions and its must-sees. From these I will choose one or two, to visit in-depth, and I will research these in detail.

2) To get a feeling for the place I want to travel to, I will read some books and blog posts, watch a couple of documentaries and even, if I have time, a few films set in the region which will strengthen my connection with the people living there, and give me a deeper appreciation of their culture. A few words of the local language will come in handy too.

3) To make the most of the experience, I will decide beforehand what I want to get from my trip. I know myself. Going to all the big tourist attractions just for a photo opportunity is not my thing. I love sitting at a café with a coffee in front of me and watching the world go by. I love talking to people about what is important to them, whether they are locals or fellow travellers. I love exploring vintage markets and shops. I love running, early in the morning, through a sleeping city, or on a deserted beach. So I will plan my trip to ensure that I can do as many of these things as possible.

4) I will make the trip there part of my travel experience. I will choose travel options less damaging to the environment when possible, by taking the train instead of a plane, for example, and use local communal transport once I get there. Whenever I can, I’ll walk – it’s good exercise and gives me time to take in the sights. I will aim to stay off the beaten path so that I will experience the emotions that travel is meant to be about: discovering, exploring and navigating unknown territory. I would like to visit less famous sites and support those communities that need it more.

5) If at all possible, I choose to travel in the off-season when there are fewer people about because the other thing I love is to wander aimlessly, on foot, and explore the place I am visiting in my own time. What greater travel luxury is there than that? Staying in an impersonal hotel occasionally appeals to me when I am looking for anonymity, but I by far prefer to stay in a local guesthouse, where I can talk to the owners about their region and maybe even make a new friend or two. They will also be able to direct me to interesting (to me) local events, festivals and concerts. Getting involved in local activities will enable me to connect with the local community, learn from its people and make my trip unique and unforgettable.

6) I rarely buy souvenirs. I prefer to buy something that I will use once I get home. If I do buy something, it will be from a local producer or artist. Instead of buying several small things, I will often buy one item, even if it is a bit more expensive, and if possible, chat to the person who made/produced it. If it is a vintage item, I will want to know its origin. I want to support the local producers and artisans and they can only survive if we put our money where our values are.

7) I will keep a travel journal. This is something I so far have not been able to do. I might start a travel journal with good intentions, but I get so involved in my experiences that I have soon forgotten this noble intention of mine. It’s difficult enough for me to remember to take a couple of pictures. Travelling, while being fully present has got a lot going for it, but now, on the other side of 50, I feel the need to commemorate my travel experiences so that I can fondly look back on them during any future lockdowns. Making a few notes each day also allows me to process the experience, so I think putting aside 30 minutes every morning to remember and reflect on the previous day’s events would be of great benefit and might even give me a few surprising insights about myself.

8) As I mentioned, remembering to take pictures does not come naturally to me, but I do tend to waste time on my phone. Won’t be doing that next time I travel. I might take a couple of pictures, less so of the places I visit than of the people I meet, but otherwise, my phone will rest undisturbed in my rucksack until I get back to my lodgings in the evenings. I am going to aim for a digital detox, on my next holiday. Texts and e-mails will have to wait till the next morning when I usually answer them at home because I tend to stick to certain of my routines while travelling. Having said that, sharing my travelling experiences with the people I care about greatly enriches travelling for me, so I will get up a bit earlier every day to connect to friends and family. And to Facebook. And Pinterest, probably, for last-minute research. And I’ll post a couple of photos on Instagram. But that will be all. So if you need me urgently while I’m travelling, phone me and leave a message if I don’t answer.

9) While traveling back, I will make time to reflect on what I have learned about the places I visited and the people I met, as well as what I discovered about myself. I will adjust the way I do things accordingly. Maybe I took a watercolour painting class and discovered a hidden talent, so I’ll look around for lessons where I live. Maybe I discovered I like a dish that I never thought I would like, or I made a friend that I want to stay in contact with or I made a travelling mistake that I never intend to make again. All these valuable lessons I will consciously incorporate into my life once back home.

These will be my guidelines, whenever I get the opportunity to (slow) travel again. I call them guidelines, not rules because I want to remain flexible while travelling so that I can focus on the experience, rather than the objectives I have created for myself.

Choosing to come to one of my retreats here in the south of France would be a great idea if you would like to put your own guidelines of making the most of your next travel opportunity into practice.

My retreats: Write Your Story Writers’ Retreat, Connect and Communicate with Horses Retreat, and reinvent yourself with the residential Manifest Your Next Chapter Retreat.

If you liked this blog post, you can escape to the south of France for a virtual visit by subscribing to my mailing list HERE.

24/04/202112/09/2024

Solo Slow Travel: Best Option for Introverts

What is Slow Travel?

As the third wave of the pandemic starts to flatten here in France, I come across more and more articles about Solo Slow Travel.

Slow travel is a mindset that encourages travellers to take their time, savouring the experience of a place rather than rushing through a packed itinerary. It emphasizes connecting with local culture, engaging deeply with the environment, and embracing the journey as much as the destination. This approach often involves staying in one location for an extended period, reducing the stress of constant movement, and allowing for a more meaningful connection with people, customs, and the natural surroundings. The benefits of slow travel include fostering a deeper sense of relaxation, reducing travel fatigue, and promoting sustainability by minimizing frequent transportation and supporting local economies. Additionally, it allows travellers to cultivate mindfulness, making the experience more enriching and fulfilling.

#SavoirVivreVignette

Solo Slow Travel in the Southwest of France

I have been asking myself what Solo Slow travel would mean for people who come to the south of France on a residential retreat. As I understand it, Slow Travel is the opposite of the Monday-Amsterdam, Tuesday-Paris, and Wednesday-Lisbon trips that were so popular in the past. The idea is that less is more and that quality is better than quantity. A Slow Travel trip is meant to educate and have an emotional impact, in the present moment and for the future, while remaining sustainable for local communities and the environment.

Slow travel allows us to relax and reflect, to connect with and integrate our experiences.

It seems to me that Slow Travel to a retreat here in the southwest of France has to begin with the trip here, by making the trip part of the retreat experience by travelling slower, maybe by taking the train instead of taking the plane, by stopping on the way to investigate a famous city, like Bordeaux or Toulouse, by using travel time to educate oneself about this region and by talking to other travellers, etc.

Reconnect with Nature: 5-day Camino de Santiago Walking Retreat

At the moment, my Walking the Camino de Santiago retreats are the most popular, possibly because they represent the slow travel idea so perfectly:

walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostela always has an emotional impact, no one who walks the Camino comes away unchanged.
Gascony, the region in France where the retreats are held is the perfect host for slow travel. To discover why, Click Here.
during the walk, there is ample time for interaction with other pilgrims and for supporting small local businesses on the way.
staying in one place during the whole retreat, you’ll get more of an opportunity to interact with local people in a meaningful way.
it’s not only healthier for the environment (my take on sustainable tourism,) it’s also healthier for you.

Slow travel is less stressful, which is the whole objective of going on a retreat, so take your time to travel here and make the most of each moment you are here, even if it is just relaxing in a deckchair while watching the sun go down with a glass of local Rosé, is not only of benefit to you but also to the local community.

As for myself, I have always preferred Slow Travel to rushing around and seeing as many different places in as short a time as possible. I am still, after 11 years of living in this part of France, slowly travelling through my glorious region. When I drive here, I stop frequently to admire the majestic Pyrennées mountain range, explore a small farmer’s market, or check on a friend who lives in the middle of nowhere, on the way to a favourite restaurant. Here you’ll find me discussing the menu for 15 minutes or longer with the chef, asking about his family and his business, and then indulging in a lunch that takes…as long as it takes. After the meal, I linger to watch the world go by…

Solo Slow Travel – I highly recommend it.

If you would like to read more about Slow Travel, here is the Slow Travel Guide Book

If you like this vignette of my life here in Gascony, you can escape to the south of France for a virtual visit by subscribing to my mailing list HERE.