How Curiosity Can Help Us Thrive During Life’s Changes
Curiosity is like your brain’s secret weapon for surviving chaos. When life throws a curveball—whether it’s starting a new business, changing careers, adjusting to an empty nest, coping with retirement, losing a loved one or something heavier—curiosity flips the script. Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” it’s “What’s this teaching me?” It’s the mental equivalent of leaning into the storm, not running from it.
Think of it like this: when you’re curious, you’re open. Open to discovering new possibilities, new parts of yourself, new ways to adapt, evolve, and maybe even come out stronger. Curiosity turns fear into fascination and uncertainty into an adventure. It helps you roll with the punches, ask better questions, and find answers that can lead you down unexpected, but wildly rewarding paths.
“The more you know, the more you want to know. Not only that, but the more you know, the more connections you can make between the different bits of knowledge that you have in your head and therefore the more ideas you have, which is why curiosity is really the wellspring of creativity.” Georgina Venning
Always interested in making life transitions easier for myself and others, I decided to investigate.
Can being curious really help you cope with the stress caused by a major life change? How does a curious mindset differ from a growth mindset? Is it not just another variant of the same thing?
I started by looking at the definitions of each mindset:
- Growth Mindset: Coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, a growth mindset is the belief that abilities, intelligence, and talents can be developed through effort, learning, and perseverance. People with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities to grow, and they understand that failure is not a reflection of fixed ability but a necessary part of the learning process.
- Curiosity Mindset: A curiosity mindset is a desire to explore and discover, driven by a sense of awe, wonder and the desire to investigate the unknown. People with a curiosity mindset approach situations with questions, seeking to understand and absorb new information, ideas, experiences, and perspectives, often without a specific learning goal in mind.
The hallmark of curiosity is a thirst for knowledge that has no obvious utility. Being a lifelong learner is taking joy in exploration regardless of whether the discovery has immediate relevance. The goal is to understand for the sake of understanding. Adam Grant
This means the FOCUS between the two mindsets is different:
- Growth Mindset: The focus of a growth mindset is on personal development and improvement. It’s about seeing challenges as ways to build new skills and overcome limitations. For example, if you have a growth mindset, you might see a failure as an opportunity to learn what went wrong so that you can handle a situation better next time.
- Curiosity Mindset: The curiosity mindset is more focused on exploration and discovery. Curiosity doesn’t necessarily have a direct link to self-improvement, though it can lead to it. If you have a curiosity mindset, you are motivated to learn more simply because you’re interested in understanding something better, not necessarily to grow or improve a specific skill. It’s simply about the joy of discovery. Curiosity might lead you to explore a topic outside your current expertise, ask questions unrelated to your goals, or simply follow a line of thought to see where it takes you.
It seems that both a growth mindset and a curiosity mindset are valuable approaches to life and learning, but they serve different purposes. They can complement each other—curiosity can spark the motivation to grow, and a growth mindset can sustain long-term curiosity. Curiosity is the mindset that turns a problem into a puzzle and a challenge into a discovery. This shift in perspective reduces our anxiety and helps us feel more in control. It shifts our focus from what we’ve lost to what we can gain.
Maybe the easiest way to explore how curiosity can help us is by looking at a case study.
Susan attended one of my Camino de Santiago walking retreats here in the southwest of France. She had her ducks in a row. She was ORGANISED, both in her personal and professional life.
Until two major life changes hit her at the same time.
In a couple of weeks, her well-ordered world began to unravel. First came the unexpected layoff from her steady job of 15 years—a blow that shook her to her core. Shortly after, her long-term relationship ended, leaving her feeling lost. For the first time in her life, Susan didn’t have a plan.
Her close friend, Anne, sensing her distress, suggested something unusual: a walking retreat in the southwest of France. Susan baulked at the idea at first. The thought of “wandering aimlessly” through rural landscapes seemed counterproductive to her acute need to be in control. But Anne assured her that the retreat wasn’t about getting lost, but about finding one’s way.
In desperation, Susan booked the retreat.
The retreat began on a sunny autumn morning. Susan found herself standing in a picturesque village, surrounded by vineyards and rolling hills bathed in the golden hues of late harvest. Her fellow retreat participants were friendly but sensed that she wasn’t quite ready for conversation. There were no immediate plans, no rigid schedules—just the promise of long walks and time to reflect.
The first day was hard. Susan’s mind was restless, filled with thoughts of what she had lost—her job, her relationship, her sense of direction. As she walked, she replayed events in her mind, trying to make sense of how her life had veered so far off course. She desperately wanted answers, but none came.
By the second day, something began to shift. There was something about the steady rhythm of walking, the quiet of the landscape, and the absence of distractions. Her mind slowly settled down. The deafening noise of her worries started to fade into the background. It wasn’t that her problems disappeared; it was more that they began to lose their suffocating grip on her.
She started noticing things she had overlooked on the first day—the vibrant yellow, orange and red leaves on the vines, the way the sunlight filtered through the trees, and the sound of a brook winding its way through the valley. She found herself feeling, for the first time in months, a flicker of curiosity. She stopped obsessing about solving her problems and started to pay attention to the world around her. “I wonder what kind of grapes are these?” she thought. “Why do they plant vines in rows? What sort of wine do they make from these grapes? How long have they been making wine in this region?” These were simple questions, but they made her think of something other than her problems.
As the days went on, Susan’s curiosity about the region, its people and her fellow retreat participants increased. She began asking more questions—not just about her surroundings but also about her own life. Why did she feel so lost without a plan? What might happen if she let go of the need to know exactly what’s next? What if, instead of being obsessed about finding answers, she allowed herself to explore possibilities?
One afternoon, while walking on a particularly quiet path, Susan had a profound realization: she didn’t have to figure everything out right now. She didn’t have to have a clear plan for her next job or relationship. What she needed was to be open to what might happen next, to be curious about the unknown instead of fearing it.
That evening, back at the farmhouse, she shared her thoughts with the others. “I’ve always been so focused on controlling everything,” she said. “But here, walking through this landscape, I’m beginning to realise that not knowing isn’t the same as failing. Maybe I need to be curious about what would happen if I let go and stop trying to control everything?”
The group nodded in understanding. Several of the others had come on the retreat during their own transitions—divorce, retirement, the loss of a loved one. They, too, had discovered that curiosity was more than just asking questions. It was a way to soften the hard edges of life’s uncertainties, a way to remain open to and accepting of the unexpected.
By the end of the retreat, Susan’s outlook had transformed. She hadn’t figured out all the answers to her problems, but she had learned something far more valuable: the power of curiosity to help navigate life’s inevitable changes.
On the final day of the retreat, as the group shared a last meal together, Susan found herself reflecting on her journey. The walks, the quiet moments of reflection, and the gentle guidance of her retreat leader had led her to a place she never expected to reach—not a place of certainty, but a place of possibility. She discovered that life didn’t have to be meticulously planned to be meaningful and fulfilling.
Back home, Susan’s life wasn’t magically fixed. She still had to find a new job, and the pain from her breakup hadn’t entirely faded. But she no longer felt the same pressure to rush forward. Instead, she allowed herself to ask questions and explore new paths without needing to know exactly where they led, well in advance.
She started taking a photography class, something she had always been curious about but had never made time for. She reconnected with old friends, not because she felt obligated but because she was genuinely interested in catching up. Instead of diving headfirst into a job search, she spent time researching fields she had never considered before, allowing herself to be curious about what other careers might offer.
In the months that followed, Susan’s life unfolded in ways she couldn’t have predicted. She found a new job in a different industry that excited her, and she began volunteering at a local animal shelter, something that brought her unexpected joy. Her relationships, too, began to evolve—not through force or careful planning, but through her willingness to let things unfold naturally.
The walking retreat in the southwest of France had taught Susan more than she could have imagined. It wasn’t just a break from her life; it was a turning point. As she reflected on her journey, she knew she’d return to the southwest of France one day, perhaps to walk the whole Camino. But more importantly, she knew she would carry the lessons she learned about the benefits of being curious with her wherever she went. Life’s major changes would come, as they always did, but now she was ready to meet them—not with fear, but with a curiosity
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” e. e. cummings
If you, like Susan, are navigating a major life change and seeking space to reflect, explore, and rediscover your curiosity, consider joining a walking retreat in the peaceful landscapes of the southwest of France. These retreats offer more than just beautiful scenery—they provide an opportunity to connect with yourself, embrace uncertainty, and open your heart to new possibilities. Sometimes, all it takes is a quiet walk in the vineyards to find the answers—or better yet, the right questions—to move forward.
Curiosity is a powerful ally during life transitions. By embracing a curious mindset, you open yourself up to new possibilities, reduce fear of the unknown, and build resilience in the face of challenges. For introverts, curiosity offers a quiet yet profound way to navigate change, tapping into their natural strengths of introspection and reflection.
“I would rather have questions that can’t be answered than answers that can’t be questioned.” Richard Feynman
For Richard Feynman, the renowned physicist, known for his groundbreaking work in quantum mechanics, curiosity was a way of life—a drive to constantly ask “why” and to challenge the status quo. He believed that true understanding came from following one’s curiosity wherever it might lead, even if it meant stepping into the uncomfortable territory of not knowing.