midlife crisis - Dr Margaretha Montagu

21/11/202421/11/2024

Grateful, But Still Terrified: How I’m Tackling Anxiety in the Middle of a Life Transition

Because quitting your job at 42 without a backup plan deserves a little help from a gratitude journal (and a lot of coffee).

Can Gratitude Really Reduce Anxiety During a Life Transition?

The one thing I teach everyone who comes here on a From Troubled to Triumphant Life Transition retreat is that being grateful is an extremely powerful stress management strategy. Gratitude can play a significant role in reducing anxiety during life transitions – I know that from personal experience. NO other strategy comes near, especially if you combine gratitude with generosity. When you are immobilised by uncertainty, acknowledging the positive aspects of life can provide a fresh perspective. We even have a good idea about how it works: we know that practising gratitude helps regulate the sympathetic nervous system, which activates anxiety responses and reduces cortisol levels—the stress hormone—leading to increased resilience. By training your mind to focus on what you are grateful for, you can counteract the anxiety and apprehension that characterise most life transitions. Simple strategies such as keeping a gratitude journal can effectively rewire your brain to handle stress more effectively and reduce anxiety during significant life transitions.

In my free 7-part e-Course, How to Survive a Life Quake, I devote one full part to Gratitude and how you can seamlessly incorporate a Gratitude Practice into your busy everyday life. You can get access to this course by subscribing to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter.

Shirley N., one of my retreat guests, opted for a coaching package before her retreat. When we met, she had just handed in her resignation letter. This is her story:

So here I am, 42 years old, staring at my laptop with a mix of dread and excitement because I just sent in my resignation letter. 😬 Yep, after 18 years in the same post, I’m officially jumping off the hamster wheel.

And before you ask: no, I don’t have a solid backup plan. Not really. What I do have is a vague dream of becoming a writer-slash-life-coach-slash-whatever-keeps-my-lights-on. Oh, and a crippling case of anxiety that’s decided to camp out in my chest 24/7 since I made this decision. Fun times.

But let me back up and explain how I got here—and why I’m trying this thing called “gratitude” suggested by my coach, dr Margaretha Montagu, as my secret weapon to survive the chaos.

The Decision That Started It All

About three months ago, I was sitting at my desk in my office (read: beige box of existential despair), proofreading yet another soul-sucking report when it hit me: I can’t do this for another decade. It wasn’t just the boredom; it was the constant feeling that my life was going down the drain. You know that scene in The Matrix where Neo wakes up in a pod and is like, “Wait, this is my life?!” Yeah, it was kind of like that.

I thought I’d feel liberated the second I decided to quit, but instead, my brain went into overdrive: What if this is the dumbest decision of your life? What if you never find another job? What if you end up having to sell your furniture on Facebook Marketplace just to pay rent?

Anxiety became my new roommate, and let me tell you—she’s messy, she’s bossy, and she refuses to be quiet.

Discovering Gratitude (Sort of By Accident)

When my coach suggested starting a gratitude practice, I wasn’t convinced. Honestly, I thought gratitude was one of those Pinterest board words people slap on pictures of sunsets to sound profound. 🙄 But one sleepless night, after scrolling through way too many Reddit threads about career regrets (bad idea, by the way), I decided I was going to have to give it a try.

The logic was simple, after all: when you focus on what you’re thankful for, your brain has less bandwidth to spiral into worry mode. It sounded… nice? Sceptical me wasn’t sold, but desperate me was like, What’s the worst that could happen?

My (Wobbly) Gratitude Experiment

The next morning, I grabbed an old notebook, poured a cup of coffee (because a girl has to have priorities), and sat down to write three things I was grateful for. Easy, right?

Not exactly. My brain was so used to cataloguing stress that it couldn’t think of anything even remotely positive. After staring at the page for ten minutes, I finally came up with:

Coffee (obviously).
My dog, Biscuit, both my therapist and my shadow.
That one time last week when the grocery store had avocados on sale.

Earth-shattering stuff, I know. But here’s the thing: it felt good to write those down. Not amazing, not life-changing—but good. It was like giving my brain a tiny break from its regularly scheduled programming of “What If Everything goes horribly WRONG?”

How Gratitude Became My Anxiety Buffer

As the days went on, I kept up the gratitude practice, jotting down three things every morning. Some days were easier than others. (Pro tip: if you ever try this, it’s totally okay to repeat “coffee” as many times as necessary.) But gradually, I started noticing a shift.

For example, when my anxiety would flare up—like the time I checked my bank account and realised I’d forgotten to cancel a subscription AGAIN—I’d stop and think, Okay, what’s one thing that’s going right? Sometimes it was small, like, “At least I’m not dealing with Karen from HR anymore.” Other times, it was bigger, like, “I have people in my life who support me, even when I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

It didn’t erase the anxiety, but it gave me a little breathing room. And in those moments, I felt just the tiniest bit less panicked—and a little more hopeful.

Science-backed Stuff (because I do NOT believe everything I hear)

Because I’m me and I love overthinking everything, I started researching why gratitude might actually work. Turns out, there’s legit science behind it. Practising gratitude activates the part of your brain responsible for positive emotions and can even lower cortisol (aka the stress hormone). (1) (2)

I also learned that gratitude and anxiety can’t really coexist. It’s like trying to listen to two songs at once—your brain will pick one track to focus on, and gratitude tends to drown out the panic. Or, at least, it turns the volume down a notch.

Who knew my cheesy little notebook entries were rewiring my brain?

The Unexpected Perks of Gratitude

Okay, here’s where things got weird (in a good way). As I kept up my gratitude habit, I noticed some surprising side effects:

I stopped catastrophising as much. Instead of assuming every minor setback was a sign I’d end up as a bag lady, I started looking for the silver linings. Missed a deadline? Great, more time to do it right. Stubbed my toe? Okay, that one still sucked, but you get the idea.
I became more present. I used to spend 90% of my day stuck in “what if” mode. Gratitude pulled me back into the here and now, even if just for a few minutes at a time.
I started sleeping better. Not every night—let’s be real—but enough that I felt like a semi-functioning human again. Apparently, ending the day with a gratitude list helps your brain chill out before bed. Who knew?

Gratitude Isn’t a Magic Cure (But It Helps)

I’m not going to lie and say gratitude fixed everything. I still wake up some mornings feeling like I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. I still overthink, stress out, and occasionally cry into a bag of chips. (Salt and vinegar, for those wondering.) But the difference is, those moments don’t feel as overwhelming anymore.

Gratitude hasn’t made my problems disappear, but it’s given me a tool to deal with them. It’s like having a flashlight when you’re wandering through a dark forest. Sure, you’re still in the forest, but at least you can see where you’re going.

Where I’m At Now

Fast forward to today, four coaching sessions behind me and packing for my From Troubled to Triumphant Life Transition retreat: I’m still figuring out my next move, still nervous about the future—but also, for the first time in years, I’m excited. And when the anxiety starts creeping in, I remind myself to pause and look for the good stuff. Even if it’s just coffee and avocados.

So if you’re in the middle of a big life change and your brain won’t stop spinning worst-case scenarios, try this gratitude thing. Start small. Write it down. Say it out loud. Heck, yell it into the void if that helps.

And remember: no matter how messy or uncertain life feels, there’s always something worth appreciating—even if it’s just the fact that avocados were on sale last week. 🥑

Research

Several scientific studies have demonstrated the link between gratitude and reduced anxiety symptoms that Shirley mentions above:

A meta-analysis of 64 randomised clinical trials found that patients who underwent gratitude interventions experienced a 7.76% reduction in anxiety scores compared to control groups, as measured by the Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD-7) scale (The effects of gratitude interventions: a systematic review and meta-analysis Geyze Diniz, Ligia Korkes, Luca Schiliró Tristão PMCID: PMC10393216 PMID: 37585888.)
Research by McCraty and colleagues showed that participants who felt grateful had a marked reduction in cortisol levels, the stress hormone, leading to better cardiac functioning and increased resilience to emotional setbacks. (McCraty, R., & Childre, D. (2004). The grateful heart: The psychophysiology of appreciation. In R. A. Emmons & M. E. McCullough (Eds.), Series in affective science. The psychology of gratitude (pp. 230–255). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.)
More Research and References

Practising gratitude can help reduce anxiety symptoms through various physiological and psychological mechanisms, including regulating stress hormones, modulating brain activity, and shifting focus to positive aspects of life.

Finalement

So, there you have it—gratitude won’t pay your bills or magically map out your future, but it might just keep you from having a full-blown meltdown while you figure things out. Think of it as emotional duct tape: not perfect, but surprisingly effective even if you need to go write “coffee” in your gratitude journal at least three times a day. 😉

Imagine having a survival toolkit ready next time you’re hit by a life-shattering transition. When you subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter, you get FREE access to my How to Survive a Life Quake 7-part online course (valued at €79). This isn’t just another online course; it’s a heartfelt made-with-love guide packed with tools to help you face and thrive through life’s transitions with resilience. I’d love for you to join our community!

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during Life Quakes Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. These retreats blend reflection and relaxation in a way that feels more like an exciting adventure than hard work. Whether you choose to make a change or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

21/11/202421/11/2024

Hot Flashes, Mood Swings, and Midnight Binges

Should you go on a Transformational Retreat during a Midlife Crisis?

#LifeQuake Series

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Awakening?
Why This Life Transition Is the Perfect Chance to Redesign Your Future

As life transitions go, a midlife crisis must be one of the most classical examples – it often marks a significant period of introspection during mid-adulthood. A midlife crisis is basically life yelling, “Plot twist!” Maybe it’s not exactly a “crisis” but a pivotal moment in your life, characterised by shifts in identity, priorities, and perspective.

Sure, the word crisis makes it sound like you’re about to ditch your responsibilities, dye your hair purple, and join a punk band called Existential Dread. But really, it’s just a dramatic way of realising that life is finite. This awareness can prompt deep self-reflection, leading you to question your choices, achievements, and direction.

Suddenly, you’re side-eyeing your choices, achievements, and that beige couch you swore you’d love forever. Cue the What am I even doing with my life? montage, starring you, a lukewarm cup of coffee, asking ChatGPT: “Can I start over at 40? 50? 60?”

A midlife crisis is like Marie Kondo-ing your identity. The roles you’ve collected over the years—Parent! Partner! Professional!—might not “spark joy” anymore and feel outdated and limiting. So, you start craving new labels: artist, adventurer, horse yoga enthusiast. This can result in a desire to break free from old definitions and explore new ones. It may inspire you to book a skydiving lesson or decide to become a TikTok star— as you question life’s meaning for you now.

Life transitions frequently stir up strong emotions, and a midlife crisis is no exception. One minute, it’s regret: Why didn’t I backpack through Europe when I had the chance? The next, it’s wild excitement: I could still backpack through Europe! It’s a rollercoaster of anxiety, restlessness, doubt, hope and maybe panic-buying a pink leather jacket. These emotional ups and downs are part of processing change and preparing to adapt to a new chapter.

At its core, a midlife crisis isn’t about losing your way; it’s about updating your map. Some go big—quitting their job, buying a convertible, moving to Bali. Others go small but mighty—picking up therapy, taking salsa lessons, or finally getting that sourdough starter. Either way, it’s not about escaping who you’ve been. It’s about embracing who you’re becoming.

So, if you find yourself in this transitional chaos, don’t panic.

At its core, a midlife crisis is about choice and change. Some people may make drastic changes—quitting a job, buying a sports car, or travelling the world—while others take quieter steps, like exploring therapy or adopting new hobbies. These actions reflect the transitional phase where people move from reflection to implementation, building a life that feels more aligned with who they’ve become.

Ultimately, a midlife crisis, like all life transitions, offers an opportunity for self-rediscovery and creating a more authentic, meaningful and fulfilling life.

The Midlife Pivot
What a Midlife Crisis Can Teach You About Priorities, Purpose, and Possibilities

One of my From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground During a Life Quake retreat guests, Barbara K. explained why she decided to attend a retreat here at my little French farmhouse:

“Listen, midlife and the menopause hit me like a freight train—and not one of those fancy bullet trains that glide in silently. No, this was an old-school, coal-belching locomotive with a blaring horn, zero warning, and a hypoglycemic conductor who probably skipped breakfast. One day, I was living my life, buying anti-wrinkle creams I didn’t really need, as you do, and the next? BOOM. My internal thermostat was shattered, my patience promptly evaporated, and sleep became an elusive ex-boyfriend who left without explanation.

So, let’s talk about this wild ride, shall we? Grab a fan (you’ll need it), pour yourself something calming (or alternatively, caffeinated), and buckle up for my hormone-fueled journey through hot flashes, mood swings, and the kind of fatigue that makes you forget why you walked into a room.

The Heat is On (All the Time)

Let’s start with the headliner: hot flashes. Whoever named them was being generous. These aren’t just flashes; they’re full-blown internal bonfires. One minute I’m watching Netflix, the next I’m frantically peeling off layers like I’m in some weird striptease competition. (Spoiler: first one naked wins.)

And it’s not just the heat—it’s the timing. Hot flashes don’t care if you’re in a Zoom meeting, at the grocery store, or trying to peacefully enjoy your kid’s piano recital. No, they’ll strike when they want, leaving you looking like you just ran a marathon in the Sahara.

Pro tip: Always have a handheld fan and a cool drink nearby. I now own more fans than Taylor Swift. (No regrets.) Oh, and if you see a middle-aged woman standing in the freezer aisle at the supermarket, mind your own business. She has her reasons, she’s fine.

Sleeping Beauty? Try Sleepless Beast.

Remember when sleep was easy? When your head hit the pillow, and eight blissful hours later, you wake up feeling like a fully functional human? Yeah, me neither.

Now, I spend my nights tossing, turning, and debating if I should just give up and start my day at 3 a.m. And the cherry on this insomnia sundae? The night sweats. Imagine waking up drenched, convinced your bed’s been transformed into a swamp. It’s delightful, really.

It’s not just the hot flashes. It’s the night sweats. And the racing thoughts. I’ll be lying there, minding my own business, when suddenly my brain decides to remind me of something embarrassing I said in 1998. Or I’ll start mentally reorganising the pantry at 4 a.m. because clearly, that’s urgent.

I’ve tried all the tricks—chamomile tea, white noise machines, lavender spray, meditation apps, even wearing socks to bed because someone on the internet swore it “regulates your body temperature.” (It doesn’t. It just makes your feet sweaty.) None of it worked. Then a friend recommended weighted blankets, and let me tell you, those things are magic. It’s like being hugged by a cloud. A really heavy cloud.

Eventually, I invested in moisture-wicking sheets and a cooling pillow. Do they solve anything? No. But they do make me feel like I’m sort of in control of my life again.

Mood Swings: Buckle Up, wannabe Survivors

Here’s the thing: I used to be a nice person. Ask my friends, my neighbours, even my cat. Now? One second I’m fine, the next I’m crying because a stranger on Instagram adopted a rescue dog named Pickles. (He looked so happy, okay?!)

My family has developed a sort of unspoken code for handling my moods. If I’m ranting about how nobody ever takes the bins out, my daughter quietly passes me a chocolate bar and backs away. It works like magic. My husband, bless him, meekly hands me the TV remote and retreats to the garage when he sees the telltale signs of an impending meltdown. Honestly? Smart moves all around.

Journaling has been surprisingly helpful for keeping the emotional rollercoaster in check. There’s something about scribbling down all my irrational frustrations that makes them feel… less intense. Plus, it keeps me from snapping at innocent bystanders, like the barista who accidentally gave me oat milk instead of almond milk. (I’m sorry, Greg. I was not myself that day.)

And yes, I’ve also started meditating. Don’t laugh. It’s not just for hippies and Gwyneth Paltrow. A few minutes of deep breathing can do wonders when you’re on the verge of throwing a loaf of bread at someone’s head. (Ask me how I know.)

But seriously, the mood swings are no joke. One day, I snapped at my son for leaving his shoes in the hallway. Ten minutes later, I was hugging hpm, apologising, and crying about how he’s growing up too fast. He looked at me like I was an alien. Honestly? Same.

Fatigue: When Even Coffee Can’t Save You

I used to pride myself on being the Energiser Bunny of my social circle. PTA meetings, book clubs, birthday parties? I was the queen of multitasking and late-night Pinterest scrolling. These days? If I manage to get through an episode of The Great British Bake Off without dozing off, it feels like a personal victory.

Fatigue during menopause isn’t your garden-variety tiredness. It’s the kind of exhaustion that makes you question if you’ve somehow been hit by a tranquiliser dart. I’ve nodded off at my desk, in the carpool line, and once—don’t judge me—at the hair salon while getting my roots touched up. (The stylist said I snored. Loudly.)

To combat this, I’ve become the weirdo who swears by naps. Naps are woke. I schedule them like meetings now. “Oh, you want to catch up at 3 p.m.? Sorry, I have a prior commitment.”

Exercise helps too, which feels unfair because who has energy for a brisk walk when you’re running on fumes? But weirdly, moving around does give me a bit of a boost. Sometimes I just dance in my kitchen to ’80s pop while yelling, “Staying Alive!” It’s not paricularly glamorous or elegant, but it makes me feel, well, alive. Of course, the first time I did yoga, I fell asleep during savasana. The instructor thought I was having a spiritual awakening. I was just done.

Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Meltdown)

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: cravings. One minute you’re on a health kick, eating salads and drinking green smoothies. The next, you’re devouring an entire bag of chips while Googling “best chocolate cake recipes.”

I’ve learned to embrace balance. Yes, I eat my veggies. Yes, I indulge in the occasional midnight cheese toastie. And no, I don’t feel bad about it. Life’s too short to deny yourself carbs, especially when your hormones are already out here wreaking havoc.

That said, I do try to eat foods that help with symptoms. Lots of leafy greens, nuts, and omega-3s. And wine. (What? It’s made from grapes. Totally counts.)

The Silver Lining (Yes, There’s a very Thin One!)

Here’s the thing: as much as menopause can feel like a never-ending game of “What fresh hell is this?”, it’s not all bad. It’s kind of freeing, in a way. No more worrying about that time of the month. No more feeling like you’re at the mercy of your cycle. It’s like entering a whole new chapter of womanhood. One where you know exactly what you want (even if it’s just more naps and ice cream).

Plus, menopause has taught me to slow down and listen to my body. I’ve stopped trying to do everything and be everywhere. Instead, I focus on what truly matters—spending time with my family, finding joy in the little things, and embracing this beautifully chaotic phase of life. Menopause forces you to prioritise self-care, and let go of things that no longer serve you—like uncomfortable bras, people who drain your energy, and the out-of-touch-with-reality notion that women have to be “put together” all the time.

I’ve even started saying “no” to things I don’t want to do (frequently). It’s liberating. And while I may not have control over my hormones, I do have control over how I show up for myself.

I decided to attend a From Troubled to Triumphant retreat because it offered a rare opportunity to step away from the chaos and confusion of daily (mid)life and reconnect with myself in a meaningful way (I desperately needed to do that!) Walking the Camino in the serene beauty of southwest France provided a powerful setting for some serious thinking. The retreat guides you through a transformative process that blends physical exercise with emotional breakthroughs, helping you come to terms with the uncertainty of this life-shattering change. You’ll rediscover your purpose, regain your balance, and transition into your next chapter with renewed confidence.

So, to anyone else out there battling menopause: you don’t have to do this on your own. Whether you’re laughing through the tears or sweating through the laughs, just remember—you’ve got this. “

17/11/202417/11/2024

Moving to the South of France

From Crunching Numbers to Munching Croissants: How I Swapped Spreadsheets for Spectacular French Sunsets

Written by Denise G. who moved to France in the middle of a Midlife Crisis after attending a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during a Life Quake retreat in the sun-blessed southwest of France

#LifeQuake Series

Let me start by saying: I never planned to move to France. Heck, I didn’t even plan to leave my job. I was one of those “stick to the schedule, keep your head down, and don’t rock the boat” types. You know, the kind of person who doesn’t even cross the street until the little green man shows up on the pedestrian light. But somewhere between yet another soul-sucking audit and the realisation that I’d just spent an entire decade colour-coding spreadsheets, something inside me snapped.

Or maybe it was just the third coffee that day. Who knows?

The Day I Said “Au Revoir” to My 9-to-5

I was sitting in my office—if you can call a cubicle with beige walls and a suspicious stain on the carpet an “office”—staring at a client’s expense reports. “$4,000 for ‘team-building snacks’? Seriously?” I muttered under my breath. (For the record, it was mostly tequila. That’s a red flag if I’ve ever seen one.)

It wasn’t just the absurdity of the job, though. It was the monotony. The same numbers. The same complaints about the coffee machine. The same coworkers with their passive-aggressive Post-It notes in the communal fridge.

So, on a random Tuesday—because big life decisions should always happen on a random Tuesday—I opened my browser, Googled “remote jobs,” and started clicking around. That’s how I stumbled into the rabbit hole of freelance work.

Wait, People Get Paid to Do This?

I wish I could tell you I had a grand plan, but honestly, I was winging it. I created a profile on one of those freelancing platforms (you know, the kind where everyone says “I’ll do X for $5” but secretly charges $50). I figured, “Hey, I know accounting. People need accounting, right?”

The thing is, freelance accounting isn’t just about crunching numbers. Suddenly, I was answering emails at 9 PM because some panicked small business owner couldn’t find their receipts. I became a part-time therapist for people who “just don’t understand taxes.” And let’s not even talk about the guy who tried to pay me in cryptocurrency. (Spoiler: I said no.)

But it worked. Slowly but surely, I started to build a client base. And as much as I’d love to tell you I was instantly making six figures while lounging in my pyjamas, the truth is I spent the first three months eating instant ramen and Googling, “How to price freelance services without sounding desperate.”

The France Idea (AKA My Midlife Crisis, But Make It Fancy)

Now, here’s where things get interesting. One night, I was scrolling Instagram (because obviously, that’s what you do when you suspect you’re burnt out). I saw a post from someone I barely knew—a “digital nomad,” apparently—living their best life in a little French village.

The picture? A cobblestone street lined with flower boxes, a sunset in the background, and a caption that read, “Work from anywhere.” I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly fell off the couch. But then I started thinking… could I actually do that?

I mean, I hated my job, sure. But what I hated even more was that my life felt small. I was in my 40s, living the same day over and over, like some accounting version of Groundhog Day. Wasn’t this the time to do something crazy?

The crazy thing I did, a week before, in a desperate attempt to cope with my debilitating midlife crisis, was to attend a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during a Life Quake retreat in the southwest of France. It changed EVERYTHING.

I fell madly in love with France during the retreat, so I grabbed a piece of paper, wrote “Why Not Move to France?” at the top, and started a list. Pros: cheese, wine, croissants. Cons: my non-existent French, and… moving to another country leaving everything and everyone I know behind, a rather daunting list.

A week later, I applied for a visa.

Learning to Say “Bonjour” Without Sounding Like a French Toddler

Fast forward three months, and there I was: standing in a tiny apartment in Bordeaux, surrounded by several suitcases, a bottle opener and a bottle of cheap red wine in my hands.

Now, let me tell you, moving to France sounds glamorous until you’re the one trying to explain your Wi-Fi issues to a technician who speaks zero English. (My version of French was basically just pointing at things and adding “s’il vous plaît.”)

The first few weeks were chaos. I got lost constantly. Once, I ended up in a boulangerie trying to order a baguette and accidentally asked for “a very large grandmother.” The cashier laughed so hard she gave me the bread for free. (Bless her.)

But slowly, life started to feel… lighter. I’d wake up, make my coffee, and open my laptop in the corner of a little café. I worked, yes, but I also took long lunches, strolled through markets, and sat by the river with a book. I learned to appreciate slowness in a way I never had back in the grind of corporate life.

The Big Lesson (or, Why One Should Do the Scary Thing)

Was it terrifying to leave my stable job and start over in a foreign country? Absolutely. Did I have moments where I questioned everything, cried into a glass of Bordeaux, and called my best friend screaming, “What have I done?” Also yes.

But here’s the thing: life’s too short to stay stuck. Whether it’s a job, a city, or even just a mindset—if something isn’t making you happy, it’s okay to change it.

I won’t pretend everything’s perfect. French bureaucracy is a nightmare, and don’t even get me started on how long it takes to set up a bank account here. But when I think about where I was a year ago, stuck in that cubicle with the beige walls, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything.

So, if you’re reading this, wondering if you should take that leap—whether it’s switching careers, moving abroad, or even just saying “no” to something that’s not serving you—this is your sign.

Trust me, the almond croissants alone are worth it.

Here’s to messy, beautiful, unpredictable life changes. Or as the French say, “A la Votre!”

Hit the pause button and regain your footing during a From Troubled to Triumphant: Find Solid Ground during Life Quakes Retreat. Imagine walking a peaceful stretch of the Camino de Santiago, where every step helps untangle the mental clutter, or spending time with gentle Friesian horses who teach you the art of mindfulness. These retreats blend reflection and relaxation in a way that feels more like an exciting adventure than hard work. Whether you’ve chosen to make a change, or are forced to, this retreat offers the perfect blend of peace, perspective, and playful exploration to help you rise from troubled to triumphant!

I put the essence of who I am, and everything I have experienced that makes me who I am, with great enthusiasm, into my retreats, courses and books. – Dr Margaretha Montagu (MBChB, MRCGP, NLP master pract cert, Transformational Life Coach dip, Counselling cert, Med Hyp Dip and EAGALA cert)