Tag: communication

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Are You an Analytical, Functional, Intuitive or Personal Communicator?

What is Your Communication Style and why is it Crucial to Determine This?

During any major life change or transition, whether it is personal or professional, it is crucial to communicate clearly—both with yourself and others. Life changes can be overwhelming, filled with uncertainty, and often lead to misunderstandings. Whether you’re processing the end of a significant chapter in your life, navigating a career shift, coping with a deteriorating relationship, or moving to a new country, expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs, and boundaries with clarity is vital.

Clear communication not only helps you articulate your emotions and intentions but can also create stronger connections with the people who support you during these times. When you learn to communicate effectively, you invite understanding, collaboration, and a sense of control back into your life—even when everything else feels chaotic.

What is YOUR communication style? Personally and professionally?

In this post, we’ll explore why clear communication matters so much during life transitions and look at the various styles of communication to help you discover yours.

Communication styles have been categorised according to various classification systems:

Personal Communication Styles: Passive, Aggressive, Passive-aggressive, Assertive and Manipulative

  1. Passive Communication: Characterised by avoiding conflict and not expressing one’s own needs or feelings. Passive communicators often defer to others and may struggle to make eye contact. Example: “I’m okay with whatever you want to do” while avoiding eye contact.
  2. Aggressive Communication: Involves expressing oneself forcefully, often at the expense of others. Aggressive communicators may dominate conversations, use intense eye contact, and speak loudly. Example: “This is what we’re doing” or “Get over it”combined with crossed arms, eye rolling and finger pointing.
  3. Passive-Aggressive Communication: Combines passive and aggressive elements. Passive-aggressive communicators appear passive on the surface but subtly express anger or discontent through indirect means, such as sarcasm or giving the silent treatment. Example: Saying “Sure, I’ll do it” but not following through and spreading rumors.
  4. Assertive Communication: Considered the most effective style, it involves direct and honest communication while respecting others’ feelings and needs. Assertive communicators use “I” statements and maintain good eye contact. Example: “I feel… when you… and I need for you to do…” accompanied by eye contact, straight posture, and relaxed gestures.
  5. Manipulative Communication: Used to influence others covertly in the speaker’s favour. Manipulative communicators may use subtle tactics to guide others’ actions. Example: “I wonder if it’s good enough” while using subtle tactics to influence others.

Professional Communication Styles: Analytical, Functional, Intuitive and Personal

  1. Analytical Communication Style: Analytical communicators represent a methodical and data-driven approach to communication. If you are an analytical communicator, you prioritise facts, evidence, and logical reasoning in your interactions. You typically approach conversations and decision-making processes with a systematic mindset, carefully examining every detail before forming conclusions. In professional settings, analytical communicators are known for their precision and thorough research, often asking probing questions to gather comprehensive information. Their communication is characterised by a preference for quantitative data, statistical evidence, and structured arguments. They tend to be more reserved in emotional expression, focusing instead on objective information. When presenting ideas, they will likely use charts, graphs, and detailed reports to support their perspectives. While this approach ensures accuracy, it can sometimes make them appear distant or overly clinical in interpersonal interactions.
  2. Functional Communication Style: Functional communicators are process-oriented individuals who excel in structured environments. If you are a functional communicator, you prioritise clear, step-by-step instructions and well-defined processes in your communication. You are most comfortable when you understand exactly how something should be accomplished, preferring detailed guidelines and specific timelines. Your communication style is pragmatic and focused on implementation. You ask “how” questions to understand the precise mechanics of a task or project. Functional communicators value consistency, reliability, and systematic approaches to problem-solving. In team settings, they are often the members who ensure that plans are meticulously executed and that every detail is carefully considered.
  3. Intuitive Communication Style Intuitive communicators are visionary thinkers who focus on broad concepts and future possibilities. Unlike your analytical counterparts, you are less interested in minute details and more excited by overarching ideas and innovative potential. You communicate using metaphors, analogies, and big-picture perspectives. Your communication style is characterised by creativity, forward-thinking, and a tendency to challenge conventional thinking. Intuitive communicators quickly identify patterns and trends, often making connections that others might miss. They become impatient with excessive details and prefer discussions that explore potential outcomes and transformative ideas. In professional environments, they are often the strategic thinkers who inspire teams with their visionary approaches.
  4. Personal Communication Style: Personal communicators prioritise emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships in their interactions. You are deeply attuned to the feelings and emotional states of those around you, making you exceptional team builders and conflict mediators. Your communication style emphasises empathy, diplomacy, and maintaining positive group dynamics. You excel at reading emotional nuances and creating supportive environments. Personal communicators are skilled listeners who can intuitively understand underlying team tensions and work to resolve them harmoniously. While their approach is relationship-focused, they can sometimes be perceived as overly emotional or indirect by more task-oriented communication styles.

Both Personal and Professional: Verbal, Non-verbal, Visual and Written

Communication can be delivered verbally, non-verbally, visually, and written communication. Verbal communication involves spoken words, whether in person, over the phone, or via video, and it relies on tone, clarity, and language to convey meaning. Non-verbal communication includes body language, gestures, facial expressions, and even silence, which often reveal emotions or intentions that words alone cannot. Visual communication uses images, symbols, charts, or videos to present ideas, often simplifying complex concepts or making them more engaging.

Finally, written communication involves text-based messages like emails, letters, or reports, providing a permanent record and allowing for careful crafting of ideas. Together, these forms of communication interact and complement each other to ensure clear and effective exchanges in different contexts.

Verbal communication can further be subdivided into intrapersonal communication and interpersonal communication. Intrapersonal communication refers to the internal dialogue or self-talk that occurs within an individual. This type of communication involves reflecting on thoughts, feelings, and experiences, allowing for personal insight and decision-making.

Interpersonal communication is the direct interaction between two individuals. This face-to-face communication can be informal or formal and is essential for building relationships, resolving conflicts, and exchanging ideas.

By recognising and respecting different communication preferences, professionals can create more effective and inclusive communication strategies.

Identify your own Communication Style

  1. Self-reflection: Consider how you typically approach problems, express thoughts and feelings, listen to others, handle stress and conflict, and adapt to different situations. This introspection can provide insights into your natural tendencies.
  2. Self-assessment tests: Take a communication style quiz or assessment specifically designed to determine your primary style. These tests often categorise styles into four main types, such as Passive, Aggressive, Passive-aggressive, Assertive and Manipulative, ex. the VeryWellMind Quiz Or take the Analytical, Functional, Intuitive and Personal Quiz
  3. Seek feedback: Ask colleagues, friends, or family members for their observations on how you communicate. They may notice patterns in your communication that you’re not aware of.
  4. Analyse your preferences: Reflect on the types of messages you prefer to receive. Your preferred style of receiving information often aligns with your own communication style.
  5. Observe your behaviour: Pay attention to your typical communication habits, such as your tendency to ask questions or make statements, your comfort level with small talk versus getting straight to the point and your natural inclination towards assertiveness or passivity.

By combining these methods, you can gain a comprehensive understanding of your primary communication style. Remember that most people use a blend of styles, with one or two being more dominant. Understanding your style can help you capitalise on your strengths and address any weaknesses, ultimately leading to more effective communication.

How Understanding Your Communication Style Helps You During Major Life Changes

Your communication style can be a powerful tool when navigating life transitions.

Most of us don’t stick to just one communication style in every situation—we adapt depending on the context. But being self-aware about how you naturally communicate can make a big difference in handling transitions effectively.

Step 1: Get to Know Your Style

Are you Analytical, Functional, Intuitive, or Personal?

  • Recognise Your Strengths and Weaknesses: If you’re Analytical, you probably thrive on data and details during transitions—but don’t forget to check in on your emotions. On the flip side, Personal communicators might lean into their feelings but could benefit from adding a little structure.
  • Adapt to Others: Not everyone speaks your “language.” Learning to adjust your approach—whether that means softening a logical tone or grounding emotional expression—can facilitate even the trickiest conversations.
  • Speak Your Needs: A support network can’t help if they don’t know what you need. Nail down how to communicate your wants effectively, and you’ll find people showing up for you in the best way possible.

Step 2: Strengthen Relationships

Transitions can strain even the strongest connections. Knowing communication styles helps you navigate interactions with a little more finesse—and way fewer misunderstandings.

  • Navigate Different Styles: Your Intuitive friend might want to dream big about the future, while your Functional partner wants a step-by-step plan. Adapt to their communication style, and you’ll both feel heard and understood.
  • Keep Conflict Low: Stress can make everyone snippy. By understanding how others communicate, you can avoid accidental tension and smooth over any bumps before they become roadblocks.
  • Ask for (and Give) the Right Support: Need emotional check-ins or practical advice? Understanding your style—and theirs—means you can give and receive help that truly resonates.

Step 3: Build Coping Strategies That Actually Work

Your communication style doesn’t just shape how you talk—it’s your compass for navigating tough situations. If you’re an Analytical communicator, you might find comfort in research and cold, hard facts. Gathering data about your situation or creating charts and spreadsheets can help you feel in control. Functional communicators, on the other hand, thrive on structure. They’re the planners who find calm in detailed, step-by-step action plans.

Intuitive communicators see the big picture and focus on future possibilities, which can be a powerful way to reframe challenges as opportunities. Meanwhile, Personal communicators turn to their emotional connections, finding strength in sharing their journey with friends, family, or a trusted confidant. By leaning into your natural tendencies, you can create coping mechanisms that not only work but also feel authentic to who you are.

Step 4: Decode the Flood of Information

During major transitions, you’re bound to be bombarded with advice, options, and decisions. How you process all this noise often comes down to your communication style. Analytical communicators zero in on the details, preferring to sort through information systematically to ensure nothing gets overlooked. Functional communicators excel at breaking down that same information into manageable steps, making it easier to act.

Intuitive communicators, however, tend to focus on patterns and overarching themes, piecing together the big picture to guide their decisions. Personal communicators approach information through the lens of relationships, paying close attention to who is delivering the message and how it makes them feel. Understanding your natural approach to information processing can help you stay focused, avoid overwhelm, and make decisions that align with your needs and values.

Step 5: Say What You Need (and Mean It)

Life changes stir up a whirlwind of emotions, ideas, and decisions—and knowing your communication style makes expressing all of that much easier. When you understand your strengths, you can articulate your needs clearly and confidently. Analytical communicators often prefer to stick to the facts, presenting their concerns in a logical, straightforward manner. Functional communicators are great at breaking down their thoughts into a clear plan of action, ensuring nothing gets lost in translation.

Intuitive communicators often gravitate toward the big-picture impact of what they’re expressing, focusing on long-term goals and implications. Personal communicators shine when sharing emotions and building deeper connections, which helps them express vulnerability in a way that fosters trust and support. By embracing your natural style, you’ll find it easier to communicate your concerns, choose the right method (whether that’s writing or talking), and frame your messages in a way that others understand and respond to positively.

The Bottom Line

One specific communication style is no better or worse than another—it’s all about using the right one for the situation. If you pick the wrong style for your audience, whether you’re talking to one person or a whole crowd, it can make it harder for your message to be absorbed. By staying flexible in how you communicate, you can adjust your approach to match what works best for your audience. That way, your message is more likely to get through.

Big life transitions don’t have to be uphill struggles. By understanding and leveraging your communication style, you can navigate life transitions more smoothly, maintain stronger relationships, and develop effective coping strategies tailored to your natural tendencies. Consider it your secret superpower—one that helps you thrive in even the messiest moments.

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A Light-Hearted Guide to Dealing with Difficult People at Work

“The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” – Stephen Covey

We’ve all been there. That colleague who seems to have a PhD in pushing your buttons, the office drama enthusiast who turns every meeting into a soap opera, or the perpetual complainer who could find fault with free pizza. While you can’t control their behaviour, you can control your response. Enter the JADE method – Don’t Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain. This approach can save your sanity and maybe even make those workplace challenges a tad more entertaining.

Don’t Justify

Ah, justification – that irresistible urge to prove you’re right, even when nobody asked. It’s like trying to convince your cat why it should use its expensive bed instead of the cardboard box it came in.

What It Looks Like:

Picture Sarah from accounting, who always questions your expense reports. You find yourself writing paragraph-long emails explaining why that client lunch at Chipotle was absolutely necessary for business development.

What To Do Instead:

  • Keep responses brief and factual: “The expense follows company policy.”
  • Use the broken record technique: Repeat the same simple statement without elaboration.

Real-World Example:

Difficult Coworker: “I can’t believe you took lunch at 1 PM instead of noon. That’s not how we do things here.” Old You: “Well, you see, I had this important call, and then my morning got backed up because the printer jammed, and Mercury is in retrograde…” New You: “1 PM works best with my schedule. Thanks for understanding!”

Remember: You don’t need to justify your legitimate choices any more than you need to justify why you prefer chocolate ice cream over vanilla. It is what it is.

Don’t Argue

Arguments at work are like trying to teach a fish to juggle – frustrating, pointless, and likely to leave everyone irritated and confused. When someone’s itching for a fight, refusing to engage isn’t being passive; it’s being emotionally intelligent.

What It Looks Like:

Meet Bob from IT, who insists that your computer problems would disappear if you just switched to his preferred operating system. He’s ready to die on this hill, and he’s prepared to take you with him.

What To Do Instead:

  • Practice the art of the strategic subject change.
  • Master the non-committal “hmm” (bonus points for varying the pitch.)

Real-World Example:

Bob: “This wouldn’t have happened if you were using LinuxExtremePro2000!” Old You: “Actually, studies show that my current system is more efficient for our specific needs, and here are fifteen reasons why…” New You: “Interesting perspective, Bob. Hey, did you catch the game last night?”

Think of arguments like quicksand – the more you struggle, the deeper you sink into the unproductive abyss.

Don’t Defend

Defending yourself at work can feel as natural as checking your phone during a boring meeting. But just like that phone check, it’s usually unnecessary and can get you into serious trouble.

What It Looks Like:

Enter Linda, the self-appointed Office Protocol Officer, who’s horrified that you used Calibri instead of Arial in your presentation. She’s convinced this choice reflects poorly on your professional judgment, your upbringing, and possibly your entire generation.

What To Do Instead:

  • Embrace the power of “I appreciate your feedback.”
  • Perfect your “fascinated scientist” expression while observing their behaviour.

Real-World Example:

Linda: “I can’t believe you didn’t CC the entire department on that email about the missing break room spoon.” Old You: “I only included relevant team members because studies show that unnecessary CCing reduces productivity and besides…” New You: “Thanks for letting me know your preference. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Remember: Your work should speak for itself. If it doesn’t, no amount of defending will make it better. If it does, no amount of criticism can make it worse.

Don’t Explain

Explaining is like trying to fill a bottomless cup – no matter how much you pour in, some people will always want more. Save your breath for cooling your coffee instead.

What It Looks Like:

Meet Tom, who needs to understand the complete psychological, philosophical, and metaphysical reasoning behind why you chose to use blue sticky notes instead of yellow ones.

What To Do Instead:

  • Perfect the art of the concise response.
  • Master the “that’s just how it is” shrug.

Real-World Example:

Tom: “But WHY did you start the meeting at 10:05 instead of 10:00?” Old You: “Well, you see, I was following this fascinating time management article that suggests slight delays can actually increase attendance and engagement, and there’s this whole psychology behind it…” New You: “That’s when the meeting was scheduled. Shall we review the agenda?”

Further useful phrases:

  • “I hear what you’re saying.”
  • “I’ll give that some thought.”
  • “Let’s focus on the task at hand.”
  • “That’s an interesting perspective.”
  • “I’ve made my decision on this.”

0bviously, the No-JADE approach doesn’t always work and isn’t always appropriate, but it can significantly reduce the time you waste trying to deal with impossible difficult people.

Success Stories

Consider Maria, who used to spend hours crafting detailed emails defending her project timelines to sceptical stakeholders. After embracing the no-JADE approach, she simply started responding with “The timeline is set based on our resources and requirements. I’ll update you on our progress at the next check-in.” Miraculously, the universe didn’t implode, and she gained back hours of her life.

Or take James, who stopped explaining why he couldn’t attend every single optional team happy hour. Instead of providing elaborate explanations involving his dog’s therapy sessions and his commitment to underwater basket weaving, he now simply says, “I won’t be able to make it. Have fun!” Revolutionary.

Or Louise, who attended a From Troubled to Triumphant: Finding Solid Ground During Life Transitions retreat a year after she walked the last 100km of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela in Spain.

She had many fascinating stories to share about her adventure and about the sometimes difficult people she came across during her walk: “I always thought I had the patience of a saint. You know, the kind of person who smiles through chaos, listens empathetically when your coworker spends another lunch hour ranting about their neighbour’s cat destroying their garden, and graciously lets someone with three items cut ahead in the grocery line. But somewhere along the way—probably in my early 50s—my patience decided to pack its bags and go on a permanent vacation.

So, naturally, I decided to walk the Camino de Santiago. Because what better way to find inner peace and figure out how to deal with difficult people than walking 30 kilometers a day with a bunch of strangers?

It didn’t take long for my fellow pilgrims to reveal themselves as messy humans—just like me. There was Mary, the serial over-sharer who felt the need to recount her entire dating history by Day 2. Tim, who somehow managed to mansplain how to tie your bootlaces. And Carol, bless her heart, who treated every group discussion like her personal TED Talk.

On Day 3, I found myself trudging along a particularly rocky stretch of the Camino, stuck between Tim, who was explaining the “optimal pace” for hill climbing, and Mary, who was oversharing about her ex-husband’s toenail fungus. My inner monologue went something like this: Why did I think this was a good idea? Can I fake an ankle sprain? Do Spanish doctors prescribe wine?

You can’t control difficult people. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve written carefully worded emails, subtly redirected conversations, even practised deep breathing while smiling through gritted teeth. Walking the Camino, listening to Tim and Mary go at it for hours on end, I had a revelation: I didn’t have to engage.

Instead of mentally drafting my snarky comeback to Tim’s lecture on hydration protocols, I focused on the sound of my boots crunching against the gravel. Instead of nodding along to Mary’s tall tales, I simply let her words fade into the background.

And it was… liberating.

On the Camino, you’re never really stuck with anyone. If someone’s getting on your nerves, you can slow down, speed up, or claim you need to “adjust your pack straps” (my go-to excuse). You can set boundaries without being a jerk. It’s okay to say, “Hey, I need some space,” or “Let’s shelf this for now.” You’re not responsible for fixing other people or accommodating every quirk. (Repeat that to yourself until it sticks.)

Difficult people won’t magically stop being difficult, but how you deal with them? That’s entirely up to you. 💪

If you want to walk the Camino, I highly recommend the more structured and supportive approach of Margaretha’s Camino de Santiago Walking retreats – no heavy rucksack to lug around, no desperate search for a bed every night, scrumptious homegrown and homemade food every day and the option of a massage after every walk…much more my style of R&R. Personally, I opted for a From Troubled to Triumphant retreat, because of the stuff I had going on in my life (a seriously messy divorce resulting in a career change, move to a different country and an empty nest. So good that I’ll be back for more next year!”

Conclusion: Embracing the no-JADE lifestyle

Remember, not JADEing isn’t about being dismissive or uncooperative. It’s about maintaining healthy boundaries, preserving your energy, and staying focused on what actually matters. Think of it as a superpower – the ability to navigate workplace dynamics while maintaining your sanity and sense of humour.

The next time you feel the urge to justify why you organise your desktop icons by colour instead of type, argue about the proper way to load the dishwasher in the break room, defend your choice of layout in the monthly newsletter, or explain why you prefer to eat lunch at your desk – stop. Take a deep breath. Channel your inner no-JADE warrior.

After all, work is challenging enough without turning every interaction into a congressional hearing. By refusing to JADE, you’re not just making your work life easier; you’re setting an example of professional boundaries that others might just follow.

And if all else fails, remember: Sometimes the most powerful response is simply a serene smile and a well-timed “Thanks for sharing.”

Imagine having a survival toolkit ready next time you’re hit by a life-shattering transition. When you subscribe to my Savoir Vivre Vignettes newsletter, you get FREE access to my How to Survive a Life Quake 7-part online course (valued at €79). This isn’t just another online course; it’s a heartfelt made-with-love guide packed with tools to help you face and thrive through life’s transitions with resilience. I’d love for you to join our community!

Author Bio: Dr Margaretha Montagu – described as a “game changer”, “gifted healer”, “guiding light” and “life-enriching author” – is an experienced medical doctor, a certified NLP practitioner, a medical hypnotherapist, an equine-assisted psychotherapist (EAGALAcertified) and a transformational retreat leader who guides her clients through life transitions – virtually, or with the assistance of her Friesian and Falabella horses, at their home in the southwest of France.

References

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Irfan ul Haq, Riffat Faizan Communication Within the Workplace: Systematic Review of
Essentials of Communication International Journal of Applied Business and Management Studies Vol. 8, No.2; 2023 ISSN 2548-0448

Tourish D., & Robson P. (2004). Critical upward feedback in organizations: Processes, problems and implications for communication management. Journal of Communication Management, 8(2), 150–67.

Milliken. F. J., Morrison, E. W., & Hewlin, P. F. (2003). An Exploratory Study of Employee
Silence: Issues that Employees Don’t Communicate Upward and Why. Journal of
Management Studies, 40(6),1453–76.

Horan, S. M., Chory, R. M., Craw, E. S., & Jones, H. E. (2021). Blended Work/Life Relationships:
Organizational Communication Involving Workplace Peers, Friends, and
Lovers. Communication Research Trends, 40(2), 3–47.




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